Discovery
by kat3411
Summary: Paul is really just existing, not living.  He is trying hard to be what everyone needs him to be, but who does he really want to be?  And who does he want to be with?  Is there someone out there for him?  Read on and find out . . .
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Paul is that member of the pack that we know nothing about . . . we don't even know his last name! All we get from the books is that he is the hothead of the pack. So, I decided to give Paul a life . . .  
_**

CHAPTER 1

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Paul Jacobs woke to see a pair of small brown eyes staring at him. "Back off, will ya, kid?" he grunted as he closed his eyelids, hoping to get at least another hour of sleep. Sleep was a hot commodity for him . . . he never got enough.

"Grandma says you have to get up," his six-year-old half-brother replied before making the mistake of shaking him.

"Travis, back off!" Paul shouted. "If you want to keep that hand, you will leave me the hell alone!"

Travis' little face crumpled then he ran off toward the kitchen, crying, "Grandma! Paul's gonna hurt me!"

Paul sighed as he rubbed his eyes because he knew what was coming next. "Pauly, get up and be nice to your brother! You'll be late for school," his grandma, Ruth, shouted from the kitchen.

"Yeah, OK, Grandma," Paul called back as he sat up and tried to stretch the kinks out of his back. Sleeping on this piece of shit couch was killing him. He had a bed and a room of his own until his bitch of a mom drove by a month ago and dumped off her Satan spawn. Now THEY had his room and he had the couch.

Finally Paul stood and stretched again taking in the tiny living room that held the couch with a coffee table in front of it, a chair and standing lamp beside it, and a small bookcase in the corner with an old 20-inch TV sitting on top of it. This little house had always been enough for just him and his grandma, but now, with two more bodies invading it, it suddenly seemed so small. Shuffling to the bathroom, Paul found the door closed and he could hear the water running as he pounded on the door, yelling, "Tyler! I need the bathroom!"

"Too bad, shithead. You'll have to wait," was the reply from inside. Paul rested his forehead on the door, trying to control his temper for the sake of his grandmother who was old and not in the best health, and he hated the idea of upsetting her. She was all he had, and he loved her for putting up with him all these years. But for the love of God, he wished he could grab this kid in the bathroom by the neck and just kick his ass.

Paul was trying hard to keep himself in check when suddenly the door was ripped open and he practically fell on the gangly pre-teen standing on the other side as he blurted out, "Shit!"

"Geez, Paul, get off me!" Tyler growled as he shoved Paul away from him. Tyler was eleven and tall for his age, already reaching Paul's shoulder, but he had a mouth on him and an attitude to match. Since the day he arrived, Tyler had been nothing but one big pain in the ass and it was getting harder and harder for Paul to put with him.

Pushing past him into the bathroom, Paul quickly closed and locked the door then as he turned on the water for a shower, he wondered for the millionth time what he did to deserve the life he had and how badly he wished his life were different. But wishing didn't change anything. He had learned that at a very young age . . .

_"What are you doing out here, Pauly? It's late. You should be in bed," his grandma said softly._

_The little five-year-old Paul was sitting on an old stump in the backyard looking up at the sky. "I'm wishing on a star, like Pinocchio's dad."_

_Ruth smiled as she bent down in front of Paul. "And what are you wishing for?"_

_Turning his soft little brown eyes to her, Paul whispered, "That I had a mommy and daddy that loved me." _

_Tears filled Ruth's eyes as she gathered him to her chest and said, "I'm so sorry, Pauly. I wish that, too. But I want you to know that you'll always have me."_

_Paul clung to her as he cried. He knew she loved him, and he loved her . . . but it wasn't the same._

Paul dunked his head under the now freezing cold water and rinsed the shampoo from his hair then he turned the water off and grabbed a towel to dry himself. He hadn't thought about that night with his grandma for a long time. Even at five, he knew wishes didn't come true, and now at seventeen, he also knew that life wasn't fair. If it was, he wouldn't be living here in this tiny hovel on a poor reservation, trying to juggle school, a part-time job at a grocery store, looking after his grandma, and now his mother's illegitimate spawn, all while turning into a huge kick-ass wolf and keeping the world safe from vampires! Yeah, who would choose that life?

The pounding on the door brought him back to reality as he slipped quickly into a pair of clean boxers. "Come on, dickhead. Grandma's bitching at us to get to school," Tyler yelled at him.

Paul ripped open the door and said evenly, "I swear one of these days, Ty, I will shove my foot so far up your ass . . . "

"Pauly? You need to get going, honey!" they heard Ruth call out.

Tyler smirked and said in a high-pitched mocking tone, "Yeah, Pauly, you'll be late for school, honey sweetie-pie!" Then lowering his voice, Tyler said under his breath, "You're such a suck-up to the old bag."

As Tyler turned to leave, Paul grabbed him by the arm and in low menacing voice told him, "You can say whatever you want about me, but you will show my grandmother some respect, do you hear me? You owe her, you little mutant. If it wasn't for her, you'd be in foster care, or better yet, juvie."

Tyler grunted, "Whatever," as he jerked his arm away from Paul and stalked down the short hallway.

Paul took yet another deep breath to calm his anger then stepped into his former bedroom to grab a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt. When he was dressed, he walked out to the small, but very neat and tidy kitchen and kissed his grandma, Ruth, on the cheek. "Sorry, Grandma. I got in late from work last night, and I guess I overslept." She knew what he was, and that he was out on a late night patrol as a member of the wolf pack that guarded La Push, but the boys didn't so they said no more.

"You work too hard, honey," Ruth said as she touched him on the cheek, her eyes full of love and concern for him. Paul had been her whole world for the last 12 years and she loved him just as much as if she had given birth to him. She quickly handed him an egg and toast sandwich telling him, "Hurry or you'll be late."

Paul gratefully accepted the sandwich as he was starving, then grabbed his book bag. "Thanks, Grandma. Come on, let's go," he said to the boys, taking a huge bite of his sandwich as he walked them outside to the old rust bucket of a car he owned, unlocked it and climbed inside. That's when the first of what he was sure would be many fights that day began.

"Get out, you little turd! I called shotgun," Tyler grunted has he hauled Travis out of the car.

"I hate you, Tyler!" Travis screamed as he kicked Tyler in the leg, who then shot out an arm knocking Travis to the ground.

"Enough!" Paul roared. "Tyler, get your ass in the backseat and shut the hell up!"

Paul started the engine as Travis happily crawled into the front seat beside Paul and Tyler sullenly climbed into the back, slamming the door behind him. Of course, Travis just had to look over his shoulder and stick his tongue out, which caused Tyler to smack him upside the head, which made Travis cry, which all made Paul want to bash their heads together!

"For the love of God, will you two knock it off! Could we have just one morning where you two act like people instead of animals?"

With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Tyler crossed his arms over his chest and slunk down into the backseat to stare out the window, as Travis pulled his book bag to his chest and stared at his shoes. Satisfied, Paul tromped down on the gas pedal as the car sputtered and shot black smoke out the back, throwing gravel as he shot out of the driveway and turned onto the main road, anxious to get these two to school and out of his life for at least six hours.

It wasn't a long drive, and soon Paul pulled into the small parking lot that was located between the two old brick school buildings. One building housed the elementary and middle school, and the other the high school. As soon as Paul put the car in park, Tyler shot out of the back seat and took off to meet a couple of his low-life friends that were standing near the door. Paul sighed as he looked over at Travis who suddenly looked so lost and lonely. Paul remembered that feeling only too well.

As much as he hated Tyler for his foul mouth and ungrateful attitude, he found he was unfortunately developing a soft spot for Travis . . . probably because he reminded so much him of himself at that age. Travis was having a hard time adjusting to being dumped here. Paul knew his mom wasn't much of a mother, and didn't have a nurturing bone in her body, but when you're a little boy, you don't see that. All you know is that your mom is your mom, no matter if she's not worth your love.

Paul found himself actually giving Travis a smile as he asked, "Want me to walk you to class?" knowing it would make him late for his own first class, but he didn't give a shit. He had been thinking about quitting school anyway. He didn't have time for it, and what did he need an education for anyway? He knew that he would always be tied here to the rez. Being a part of the wolf pack pretty much guaranteed that.

Travis turned to him and answered with a wide smile and an eager nod, so Paul walked him inside the building and down the hall to the first grade classroom where he knelt down to tell him, "Be good today, OK?"

Travis bobbed his head then added, "You be good, too."

That made Paul laugh, something he rarely did anymore. Mussing his kid brother's hair, he said, "I'll try. See you after school." Travis smiled then turned and walked slowly into his classroom.

Paul then made his way out of the building to walk next door to the high school. "Bout time you showed up," he heard as he opened his locker. Looking around the locker door, he found Jared looking back at him with a grin. He and Jared were not only pack brothers, they were also related on Paul's mom's side of the family. They were second cousins, and had been best friends for as long as either of them could remember.

"Whatever," Paul grunted. "Where's your girl-bracelet?" Jared had imprinted first thing after he turned wolf on a girl from school named Kim. She was usually hanging on his arm, hence Paul's nickname for her.

"She took off with her gaggle of friends," Jared answered in a hurry. "Let's go, man. We're already late."

Paul slammed his locker shut and they made their way quickly down the hall to their first boring class of the day. Somehow Paul made it through his morning classes, only dozing off once in history. Thankfully, Jared had flicked him in the back of the head in time so Old Lady Poyser hadn't caught him. Paul hated when she caught him sleeping cause she usually smacked him on the head with a ruler to wake him up and it hurt like hell!

Jared and Paul made their way to the cafeteria for lunch where Kim separated from her pack of girls and made her way to Jared's side. He leaned over and kissed her soundly then said softly, "Hey, baby. I missed you," but not softly enough to get by Paul's sensitive werewolf hearing.

Paul rolled his eyes at the two of them. "Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here."

"Jealous?" Jared smiled.

Paul proceeded to give him the finger as he shoved a forkful of mac and cheese into his mouth.

Jared just laughed at that. "I'll take that as a yes. Dude, you need to get laid. You've been grumpier than usual."

Kim smacked Jared's arm, so he said in his defense, "What? It's true. We all know since Paul phased, he's easier to live with when he's had sex." That's when Kim rolled her eyes and mumbled something about having to put up with a pack of animals.

"Like I got time for anything other than school, work, patrolling and putting up with the spawn of Satan," Paul grumbled as he shoved another bite of food into his mouth then muttered, "What I really need is like fifteen hours of uninterrupted sleep."

Jared had to agree with him. "Man, me, too. Since Bella Swan moved to town and hooked up with her whiny bloodsucker, we've barely had two hours at a time!"

"I heard that," muttered Paul. He didn't mind ripping into a vampire . . . that was the fun of being a wolf. But he hated having to tolerate the Cullen clan. Just because they drank animal blood instead of human blood didn't make a difference to him. A bloodsucker is a bloodsucker. But losing his precious sleep by running all these patrols and not getting to kill any of them? That was just wrong.

After lunch, Paul went back to some more boring classes then as soon as the last bell rang, he headed for the parking lot. Before he walked out the door, he felt a hand touch his arm, then a very sexy feminine voice purred close to his ear, "Hey, Paul. Long time no see."

Paul turned to see Shelia Johnson standing there beside him, smiling her most brilliant smile. "Hey, Shelia."

"I've missed you. Where you been?"

"School, work, you know," Paul answered noncommittally. He and Shelia had hooked up a few times and he had to admit, she was a sight for sore eyes. Jared was right . . . he did need to get laid. Shelia didn't have the best reputation in school, and that's what Paul liked about her. She stood before him now, dressed in a short white skirt and a tank top, with a small pink blouse thrown over it. His gaze traveled down over her cleavage to see her tight little buds straining against the light fabric of that tank top and suddenly he wondered if he could take a little time to get reacquainted with her.

"Maybe we could get together sometime," she offered as she rubbed her breast against his arm.

"Yeah, maybe," Paul returned, feeling himself harden at that suggestive brush on his arm. "I have to work tonight until eight . . . "

Just then Jared interrupted from behind him, "Uh, Paul? Looks like one of your Satan spawn is beating the crap out of some kid."

Paul tore his eyes away from Shelia to see Tyler and some kid rolling on the ground with a circle of onlookers yelling, "Get him! Kick his ass!"

"Shit," Paul sighed as once again he was being pulled from what he wanted to take care of someone else. Paul forced himself to leave Shelia standing there as he ran into the circle, grabbed Tyler by the neck and yanked him off the other kid. "Damnit, Tyler. Knock it off!" he yelled as Tyler then took a swing at him.

Jared noticed as he helped the other kid up that he had some blood on his face. "You OK?" Jared asked him. The kid nodded then a couple of the other boys stepped up and helped him walk away.

"What was that all about?" Paul demanded looking at Tyler, who only had a couple of scratches from his part in the fight.

"Nothing. Leave me the hell alone," Tyler returned angrily as he stalked off toward Paul's car.

Paul looked at Jared and shook his head in frustration. "I better get him home."

"Yeah. See ya later, bro."

Looking around and not seeing Travis anywhere, Paul walked toward the school building where he found him sitting alone on a bench just inside the door. "Hey, let's go," Paul ordered curtly. Travis immediately stood up and trotted out the door.

They arrived at the car to find Tyler leaning sulkily against it. "You OK?" Paul asked as he unlocked the car.

"What do you care?" Tyler shot back as he ripped open the back driver's side door and crawled inside. Paul rolled his eyes as he opened his car door and slid behind the wheel. Once Travis was inside and buckled, Paul took off for home.

As he drove, Paul glanced over at Travis who was sitting there uncommonly quiet, staring down at his feet. "How was your day, Trav?" he asked.

"Fine," he mumbled. Paul doubted that, but he didn't have the patience right now to ask for any details. For once, they drove home in silence, and as soon as the car was parked, they all got out and Tyler asked Paul, "You gonna rat on me?"

"Nope. I won't do that to Grandma. She has enough to worry about. You're just lucky I broke it up before a teacher or the principal did. What was the deal, anyway?"

"He called me a no-good bastard. I know I am, but I don't need it thrown in my face."

Paul knew that feeling, too, as his parents were never married either. And he had been reminded enough over the years by his mother that he was just the result of a night of too much tequila and a broken condom. Kind of puts your life in prospective pretty quick. "Look, Ty, I've been there. You just need to ignore it."

"Well, maybe I'm not as saintly as you are, asshole." And with that Tyler ran off toward the woods as Paul stood there and shook his head. He had a feeling he would never get through to that kid. There was just too much anger boiling inside his little brother . . . it made Paul shudder thinking of what he had probably had to put up with living with their mother all those years.

Travis had already made his way into the house, so Paul did as well, calling out, "Hey, Grandma, we're home." There was no answer, so Paul made his way to the kitchen and finding it empty, he finally thought to look out the window into the backyard. There she was, kneeling in her precious garden pulling weeds. He smiled as he remembered she was more comfortable in the garden than anywhere else. The garden patch got just a little smaller each year, showing Ruth's advancing age, but she wouldn't give it up for anything.

Opening the backdoor, Paul made his way to the garden, and as he walked toward her, Ruth looked up and smiled. "Hi, honey. How was school?"

"Boring, same as always," Paul answered, keeping his word to Tyler by not telling her about the fight. "I gotta leave in about 20 minutes for work. Tyler needed to blow off some steam, so he took off into the woods and Travis is inside. You OK with them here, or should I call Emily and see if they can hang out with her?"

Ruth smiled as she replied, "No, we'll be fine. Send Travis out here to help me. He loves to dig in the dirt. As for Tyler, well, he'll come home when he gets hungry. You always did."

Paul had to smile at that. She was right. As a kid, no matter how upset he was, he always managed to make it home for dinner. Hell, he was still like that. "Alright. Can I bring anything home from the store for you?"

Ruth wiped the sweat from her forehead and thought a minute. "We need some milk and bread. Oh, and peanut butter. That Travis could eat a whole jar of it every day if I let him."

"Yeah, I know," Paul chuckled. "OK. Hey, don't stay out here in this sun too long and don't forget to take your pills at supper."

Ruth picked up her trowel and started digging again as she said, "You know, I'm feeling so much better now. I don't need to take those pills. We can't afford them now with two more mouths to feed." Ruth had a mild heart attack a few months ago, and the doctor said she would be fine as long as she watched her diet, didn't over due, and took her medication.

"Grandma, you're feeling better BECAUSE you're taking the pills. If you stop, you'll get sick again. And we _can _afford them, so don't even try that." What she didn't know is that Jared's mom, Carol, was buying them for her. It _was_ too much for them with two more mouths to feed, but she really did need them. Jared mentioned it to his mom, who came to Paul and told him she would take care of it, but not to tell Ruth. If his grandma knew, she would throw a fit! "Now promise me you'll take them," Paul ordered.

Ruth finally gave in as she looked up at him and said, "Fine, I'll take them. Pauly, you worry too much."

"Look who's talking!" he shot back with a grin.

"I guess I know where you learned it," Ruth answered as she again turned back to her weeding. Paul bent and dropped a quick kiss her on the cheek then walked back to the house calling out "Travis!" as he walked in the back door.

"In here!" he heard Travis call from his room.

Paul entered the bedroom to find Travis sitting on the bed, head down, picking at the blanket. Again it struck him how much Travis reminded him of himself. Same dark hair, brown eyes . . . head bent in despair. "What's up, buddy?" Paul asked as he sat down on the bed beside him. "Something happen at school today?" Travis didn't answer, but just shrugged his shoulders. "You can tell me. Come on," Paul encouraged him.

Travis finally looked up at him and it struck Paul how much he hated seeing tears in those familiar brown eyes. "We made cards in school today for Mother's Day. I made a card for Mommy, but I don't know where to send it." He then pulled a folded piece of construction paper out of his book bag and handed it to Paul. It had a flower drawn on the front and on the inside was written in purple crayon, "_Happy Mother's Day. Love, Travis." _Paul felt the anger flow through him at his good-for-nothing mother. She had no clue how much pain she caused, and if she did, she wouldn't care. Travis didn't deserve it. Hell, none of them did.

Paul looked down at his little brother as he put his arm around his shoulders. "This is really nice, Trav. You did a good job. The flower is really pretty."

Travis smiled shyly and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "She always liked purple."

Paul was rather surprised to hear that. He had no idea what his mother liked or didn't like, nor did he care. But Travis did, and he hated to see him suffer.

Paul handed the card back to him and suggested, "You want to hold onto this for her? Or maybe . . . you could give it to Grandma. She would really like it."

His little brother's head shot up as he smiled. "I didn't think of that! Can I give it to Grandma?"

"Sure. You can wait until Sunday if you want, or you can give it to her now. She's in the garden and she wants you to come out and help her. But change your clothes first. We need to keep your school clothes nice." It was hard enough to afford food, let alone clothes and shoes. When the boys came here, they had next to nothing. They were lucky that Ruth had good friends at church who collected some things for Travis to wear, and Sue Clearwater had sent over a bag full of her son Seth's old clothes and shoes for Tyler.

Travis immediately jumped off the bed and jerked open a drawer to pull out a pair of sweatpants that had a hole ripped in the knee and an old t-shirt. He whipped off his shirt to change as Paul got up and left the room, amazed at how fast Travis could go from being sad to being happy_. Ah, the innocence of youth._

A glance at the clock told Paul he now had 10 minutes to get to work. It seemed he was always late wherever he went. "I gotta go to work, Trav," Paul called out. "Be good and help Grandma, and when Tyler comes back, try real hard not to fight with him, OK?"

"OK, I will," Travis shouted back. "Bye, Paul!"

A smile touched his lips as Paul called back, "Bye, buddy!" then he picked up his keys, jogged out to his car, climbed in and took off for the store arriving with one minute to spare. Grabbing his time card, he quickly clocked in then tied on the green apron and walked out to talk to Pete, the manager. "Hey, Pete. Where do you want me to start?"

"Hey, Paul," Pete returned warmly. Paul was the best worker he had ever hired and he enjoyed seeing him everyday. "We got a delivery today of canned goods. Why don't you put those on the shelves?"

Paul nodded and went straight to work. While he pulled cans out of the boxes, tagged them with a price sticker then put them on the shelf, he always had time to think, the same questions coming to mind over and over, every day: _Where was his life going? Would it always be like this? Feeling pulled in all different directions? When would he ever have time for himself and get to do what he wanted to do? What did he really want to do?_

Paul spent four hours at work, only taking one 15-minute break to have something to eat, until finally, at eight it was time to clock out. He was on patrol at nine, so he wondered for a moment what he might do with that precious hour he had all to himself. As he walked out the back door to his car, he found his answer in Shelia Johnson, who was leaning back against his car, arms crossed over her middle to push her boobs up. "Hey, Paul. What's up?"

Paul grinned as he stopped in front of her to say, "Not much . . . yet."

Shelia immediately wound her arms around Paul's neck, entwining her fingers in his short hair. "Yeah? Can I help with that?" she asked sexily, right before she pressed her lips onto his and shot her tongue into his mouth. His hands gripped her hips then slid down to grab her ass as she moaned and pressed herself into his body. Paul pulled away to say, "Climb into the car and let's find a more private place to continue this."

Shelia nodded eagerly as he unlocked the door then she climbed in first and settled into the passenger's seat as he sat down behind the wheel to start the engine. As Paul pulled the car from the parking lot and onto the street, Shelia's hand found it's way onto his leg and squeezed his thigh as she leaned over and kissed his neck, flicking her tongue on his earlobe. He drove way too fast until he found the little lane he was looking for and pulled in then quickly doused the headlights. By this time, she had him so hard he thought he would burst if he didn't have her soon.

Shelia quickly climbed into the backseat, and Paul followed, her hands ripping his t-shirt over his head as soon as he plopped onto the seat beside her. "Geez, Paul, you are so fucking hot!" she exclaimed as her hands immediately went for the zipper on his pants and she yanked it down. Shelia didn't mess around with a lot of foreplay . . . she knew what she wanted and Paul was happy to give it to her, but before this went any further, he reached under the car seat and pulled out a box of condoms. Shelia grinned and asked, "A whole box?"

"I wish, baby. I have to be somewhere at nine, so we don't have a lot of time," Paul told her as he proceeded to pull her tank top off. He was in a hurry to fondle those perky breasts that had enticed him at school as he nipped at her throat and shoulder with his teeth before making his way down to suck one of her hardened nipples into his mouth and tease it with his tongue.

"Oh, Paul," Shelia moaned as she tugged at his hair, just so happy that he had taken her up on her offer. Paul was so good at sex . . . much better than the other immature boys in their class who climbed on, pumped a few times, then rolled off. She hated that.

While they made out, Paul reached down under her skirt to find that she wasn't wearing any underwear . . . and she was dripping wet. _God, this girl was such as slut!_ But right now, that is exactly what Paul needed. He spent a little time stroking her until she grabbed his member and yanked as she moaned and begged, "Come on, Paul . . . I need it now!"

Feeling like he might explode, he pulled back, grabbed the condom, ripped open the package with his teeth and had it rolled on in a matter of seconds. "You ready, baby?"

"Yes!" Shelia practically shouted as she pulled him down to ravage his mouth as Paul moved on top of her, driving into her over and over as she chanted into his ear, "Faster, Paul, faster . . . yes, don't stop, don't stop . . . " He obliged and felt her contract around him as she came hard then he did the same, his body shaking as he emptied into her.

Paul collapsed on top of her, sighing, "Oh, baby, I needed that."

"Glad I could help you out," Shelia panted as he eased himself off of her and sat up. "We're not done yet, are we, baby?" she whined.

"I hate to say it, but yeah, we are. I told you I had to be somewhere by nine," Paul answered as he pulled off the condom and folded it up in the wrapper. He totally believed in using them, especially with Shelia. Paul liked screwing around, but when she ended up pregnant someday, he wanted to make sure she couldn't dump it on him.

As Paul quickly pulled his pants up, Shelia just laid there and watched. He threw her tank top at her and told her, "Get dressed, baby. We gotta go." With a huge sigh, Shelia slipped it over her head as Paul found his t-shirt and did the same.

Paul opened the car door and got out to climb into the driver's seat as Shelia moved to the front, and when she was settled, he glanced at her and actually felt a little guilty over using her like he did. Leaning over, Paul kissed her gently on the lips, saying, "Thanks, Shelia. I wish I had more time."

Shelia smiled and kissed him back, lingering over his lips to say, "Me, too. I didn't get nearly enough of you."

Paul ignored that comment as he moved back behind the wheel and started the car. He wasn't looking for a relationship, especially with Shelia. She wasn't a one-man woman. She was fun for a quickie, but when and if he ever settled down, he wanted someone who would be faithful to only him. He wanted someone that would stay . . . if anyone like that even existed.

Paul drove a little too fast back toward town, thinking how he would have to drop her off then park his car at home and phase and run to Sam's. _Shit . . . _he'd be late again! As he drove, Shelia was going on about some chick at school that was talking trash about her, but Paul was barely listening as he didn't have time for that kind of high-school girl silliness. Finally pulling up in front of Shelia's house, Paul turned to her, kissing her quickly before he said, "See you at school."

"Sure. Thanks, Paul." Shelia gave him another sexy smile then got out of the car, and he drove off as soon as she reached her front door.

The car skidded to a stop on the gravel drive at home then he grabbed the groceries he had remembered at the last minute to get for his Grandma. As soon as he slammed the car door, he heard Jared jog up behind him. "Paul! Where have you been? We gotta go, dude!" Then he leaned in and sniffed. "Aw, man, you got laid, didn't you? It's about fucking time!"

Paul rolled his eyes and said, "Give me a sec. I need to take this stuff inside." He ran into the house, kicked off his shoes, threw his keys on the table and shoved the milk in the fridge. As he left the kitchen, he noticed Tyler lounging on the couch watching TV. "You got your homework done?" he asked him.

"Yeah, right, like you care."

"I don't. Be a loser, I don't care." Paul made his way over to his room and crept in quietly. At least Travis was in bed, asleep. He pulled a pair of gym shorts out of his drawer, stripped off his jeans and boxers, slipped on the shorts then crept out again. "Get some sleep, Ty."

Instead of the smart ass reply he expected, Tyler surprised Paul by narrowing his eyes and asking, "Where do you go every night?"

Paul stopped and turned around. "I got things to take of."

"You dealing or what?"

"Not everyone that goes out late at night is a drug dealer, Ty," Paul snorted. "Although I understand why you would think that. Apparently our mother is still hanging out with the best crowd." Paul took a deep breath as he wiped his hand over his eyes. He was already exhausted yet he had a four hour patrol to pull before bed. "Look, dude, I gotta go. Just know that Grandma knows what I'm doing, and it's not anything illegal."

Tyler just turned back to the TV as he shrugged, "Whatever. I don't care."

Paul rolled his eyes yet again and stripped off his t-shirt, tossing it over a kitchen chair, then he opened the door and walked out to find Jared pacing outside. "What is it with you? Are ever on time for anything?"

"Apparently not," Paul threw at him as they jogged toward the woods then stopped just inside to strip down and tie their shorts to their ankles. "Let's go."

Paul and Jared simultaneously phased from their human bodies to their alter ego wolves, but before they took one step, Paul heard someone shout from behind him, "HOLY SHIT!" Slowly turning his huge wolf head, Paul saw Tyler hiding in the bushes, his eyes wide in shock.

_"Fuck! Now what am I going to do?" _Paul thought as he looked over at Jared. Being a part of the wolf pack was a sacred secret that must be kept at all costs. If this got out . . . _"You go on to Sam's. I gotta deal with this."_

_"Sure. Good luck with that." _Jared turned and ran off into the woods leaving Paul to clean up his mess.

Paul quickly phased back into this human body and pulled his shorts on as he made his way toward a very confused and terrified Tyler, who was still frozen to his spot in the bushes.

"Ty, it's OK. I'm not some beast that will kill you or anything, although I could if I wanted to, but I'm not a monster."

Hearing Paul's voice, Tyler woke from his stupor and was now retreating slowly as Paul made his way closer. Paul's arm shot out and caught Tyler before he took off running. "Hey, look at me."

Tyler finally looked up at Paul and stuttered, his voice shaking, "Wh . . . what th . . . the fuck was that? Are you . . . a . . . werewolf?"

"Kind of. More of a shape shifter. I can shift my body into that of a wolf. It's a genetic thing, passed down on my father's side of the family. Anyway, I would love to stand here and explain it to you, but I'm late for my patrol. See, we patrol the rez to keep it safe, do you understand?" Tyler nodded hesitantly. "Look, Grandma knows all about it. You can talk to her, but NO ONE else, you got that? It is very important that you NEVER tell anyone else about what you saw. Especially Travis. He's too little to understand. I need you to promise, Ty."

Tyler just stared at Paul, saying nothing so Paul gave him a shake. "I mean it, Tyler. This is not only _my_ life, but many others on the rez. You have to promise to keep your mouth shut. Can you do that?"

Finally Tyler squeaked out, "Yeah, OK."

Paul let him go with a shove. "Good. Go home and don't say a word. I'll try to find some time tomorrow to tell you more." Tyler nodded again then turned to run back to the house and Paul hoped to hell that he could actually trust him for once, even though he wasn't so sure. But, like always, he didn't have the time to do anything about it right now.

Paul once again stripped his shorts off and secured them to his ankle with the leather band that was always there then he took off and phased on the run. He knew he would get an ass-chewing about being late and he didn't have to wait long for it.

_"Nice of you to finally join us," _he immediately heard from Sam, their almighty leader. _"When I say nine, Paul, I mean it! You need to get your head out of your ass and take this seriously!"_

_"Whatever. I'm on my way."_

_"Jared told me what happened. Did you take care of it?"_

_"As best I could with what little time I had. I'll talk to him tomorrow." _Paul flew through the forest and arrived at Sam's in just a few minutes. He was also related to Sam on his father's side of the family, as Sam's grandfather and Paul's grandfather had been brothers. This is where he assumed he got the wolf gene. As he pulled up to Sam's, he noticed everyone else was already here . . . except Jacob Black. _Probably sniffing around Bella_. Jake couldn't seem to stay away from that chick, even though she clearly preferred bloodsuckers.

_"Jacob reported to me that some new leech had been sniffing around Bella's bedroom today. Apparently one of her shirts is missing, so they think it was all about learning her scent. So, we are going to fan out and look for any new scents crossing the rez. Got it?"_

So that explained where Jake was. He had his nose glued to Bella's ass as usual.

Sam went on, "_Jared and Seth will fan out to the north and west. Paul, Leah, you guys go south and east. Quil, Jake, Embry and I will relieve you all around two."_

As the pack broke up and went their separate ways, Paul huffed at being paired up with Leah. Well, it was his turn he guessed. The other guys needed a break, and he knew there was no way she would pair up with her ex, Sam. Ever since Sam imprinted on her cousin, Emily, Leah had turned into the pack bitch who took out her misery on anyone that was around her. And unfortunately, that was the pack.

_"Sorry you drew the short straw and got stuck with me, huh?"_

_"Whatever. Let's just get this done. I'm beat. I need some sleep." _And with that, they put their noses to the ground and headed to the south as ordered. As usual, when he was patrolling, Paul's mind wandered, and he hoped his mutant of a brother would keep his mouth shut about what he'd seen. He wouldn't mind kicking his ass, but it would upset his grandmother and he couldn't do that to her.

Then his thoughts turned to what happened in the car with Shelia. _Man, that had felt good_, Paul thought, _but it wasn't nearly long enough._ He hated quickies. It was just enough to get you going, but it left you wanting more.

_"So, you finally got laid? Great. That's just what I want to see. You humping the shit out of some slut."_

_"Yeah? Jealous, Leah?"_

_"Fuck you, Paul."_

_"You name the time and place, baby, and I'm there."_

_"Ugh, you make me want to vomit."_

_"I love you, too, Leah."_

The sad part was that he really did care for her. They had been friends when she and Sam were dating and she was such a fun girl then. Leah was a real beauty . . . she didn't have to fuss with make-up and fancy clothes. Just her smile alone could make you go weak in the knees. And she was smart and funny, but she had enough of a mouth on her to help her fit in with Sam and Jared and Paul. They used to hang out a lot, until the big break up. Paul had tried to talk to her when it happened, but he remembered it didn't go so well . . .

_Paul decided he had to talk to her . . . make sure she was OK. When he heard that Sam had dumped Leah, he couldn't believe it! They were tight - the most solid couple he had ever seen. He looked all over town, until he remembered her talking about a place in the woods near a small waterfall she always loved when she was a kid. That is exactly where he found her, sitting alone by the waterfall, throwing pebbles one by one into the pool of water._

_"Hey," Paul said softly as he sat down beside Leah, who didn't even glance his way as she threw another pebble into the water. Laying his hand on her arm, he asked, "Leah? You OK?"_

_Slowly she turned her head toward him, her eyes so red and puffy from crying. Fresh tears slid down her cheeks as she retorted, "What do you think?" _

_Paul surprised himself by pulling Leah to him and wrapping his arms around her to keep her close. What surprised him more is that she actually relaxed into him and let him hold her for a few moments. "God, Leah, I'm so sorry. What the hell happened?"_

_That's when Leah shoved Paul away and he saw her anger come to the surface. "What do you think happened? I introduced him to my cousin, Emily. Perfect little Emily who is prettier than me, nicer than me, and doesn't have the foul mouth that I have. Apparently, all this time he's been lying to me about how much he loves me. I guess I wasn't really what he wanted, so Sam dumped my ass and now he's with her."_

_"I find that hard to believe. I've met Emily, and well, she's nice and all, but she's nothing compared to you."_

_Rolling her eyes, Leah returned, "Yeah, thanks, Paul, for trying. But I don't want to hear any more lies."_

_Paul grabbed her chin and forced Leah to look at him. "I'm not lying, Leah. You know me, I don't lie to chicks. I don't need to." She jerked her chin away, but Paul went on to tell her, " You're beautiful, and strong and fun and you say what you mean. That's sexy as hell, Leah. Something is wrong here because I know how much Sam loves you. He almost beat the shit out of me once for mentioning that you had a great ass!"_

_That at least made her smile. "I have a great ass, huh? Geez, Paul, you'll make me blush."_

_"Out of all of what I said, that's what you heard? You have a great ass?" Paul chuckled. "Look, Leah, I know this is killing you. You've been with him for a long time. A really long time. But there are guys out there who would kill to have one date with you. And after you take some time, maybe you'll see that."_

_Leah looked into his eyes and whispered, "Are you one of them?"_

_Paul was taken aback at that. Was he? He had always been attracted to her, but . . . she was Sam's and according to the bro-code, that made her off-limits. But now, looking at her, and seeing what Sam had done . . . he wondered . . . _

_Before he realized what he was doing, Paul leaned in and kissed Leah softly on the lips. God, she tasted good. Her lips were soft and sweet . . . he tried to deepen the kiss and that's when she shoved him back and said, "Stop it, Paul."_

_Leah stood up and turned away from him as he asked in confusion, "What the hell, Leah?"_

_"I don't need your pity. Just leave me the hell alone," she spit at him. _

_Paul jumped up and spouted, "Pity? You think I kissed you out of pity? Did you hear nothing I said to you before that? About you being beautiful, and strong and . . . "_

_"Whatever. I can't do this, Paul. OK? It hurts too much . . . please, just leave me alone." And with that, Leah ran away, leaving him standing there feeling like a complete idiot._

And ever since then, Leah had sunk lower and lower into her misery, no matter what anyone said to her. It broke Paul's heart really to see her like this, but he knew she would never believe him if he told her that.

_"You know what I miss, Leah? I miss us being friends. You think we might ever get back to that?"_

Leah tried to hide her shock at Paul's question. Where had that come from, she wondered. Since Sam dumped her and broke her heart, everyone avoided her like the plague . . . her misery was just too poisonous to be around. _"I don't know, Paul. I just can't see anyone wanting to be around me right now."_

_"Well, try me sometime. You might be surprised."_

Paul surprised himself by truly meaning that. He had liked being friends with Leah in the past, and he hoped that maybe they could find a way to get back to that. If only she would let them.

Paul forced that from his mind and again tried to concentrate on what he was doing out here in the woods. They covered their area several times, never finding a thing. _Another wasted night_.

Finally, sometime around two, they heard Sam call them back. Paul went willingly and reported in then turned toward home, phasing back into his human body as soon as he hit the back yard, then creeping quietly into the house. As his body crashed onto the lumpy couch, he thought, _"What a long fucking day!"_ Then his eyes closed and he was asleep and snoring in no time.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS 

Paul awoke to complete silence. He lay there for a moment listening . . . he could hear the clock on the wall tick, the faucet in the bathroom drip, and the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen . . . and that was it. The house was never this quiet. For just a moment, Paul wondered if he was dead!

Sitting up to stretch, Paul looked around to notice it was light outside, even though it was gray and rainy. A glance at the clock told him it was after one in the afternoon. Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep? _Wow._ Then he saw the note on the coffee table:

_Paul,_

_Went to Forks to the Garden Show with my friend, Donna. Boys are with Sam and Emily._

_Love you, Grandma  
_

This was great! A whole Saturday with nothing to do and no one giving him orders or pulling on him or yelling at him? A grin broke out as he got up to use the bathroom. He couldn't remember the last time he had a couple of hours to himself, let alone a whole day!

After Paul used the bathroom, he made his way to the kitchen as he realized that he hadn't had anything to eat since last night around six, and that was just a bologna sandwich and a small bag of Doritos. As if on cue, his stomach rumbled as he opened the fridge and found Grandma had saved him some meatloaf from dinner last night. _Yes!_ He loved his grandma's meatloaf . . . especially cold, slathered in ketchup between two slices of bread. After making a couple of sandwiches, he grabbed a bag of chips off of the counter and a Mt. Dew out of the fridge then headed back to the living room to plop down on the couch. Paul picked up the TV remote just as someone knocked at the door. _Shit. Well, there goes the perfect day_.

Figuring it was probably just Jared, Paul hollered out, "It's open!" He was shocked when Leah walked in, her black hair shimmering with rain droplets. Paul asked, "Leah? What's up?"

As Leah closed the door behind her and walked toward him, Paul noticed she was wearing a light blue t-shirt with her cut-off shorts that had a small picture of Smurfette on it. Seth had given it to her for her birthday because Smurfette was the only girl Smurf, like Leah was the only girl wolf. It had been Leah's favorite cartoon when she was little and Seth found that hilarious for some reason. Leah had smacked him on the back of the head, but she secretly loved the shirt. "You just wake up?" she asked.

"Yeah. Grandma went to some garden show and stuck Sam and Em with the boys. Ten hours of sleep! It was awesome. I feel great!" Leah smiled at that and Paul realized how much he had missed her smile. She needed to do it more often. Taking a bite of his sandwich he asked, "So what brings you here?"

Leah's smile disappeared and her scowl was back in place as she sank down into the chair beside the couch and muttered, "I, um . . . I guess I was wondering if you meant what you said last night."

Paul quickly tried to run their conversation through his mind as he chewed. _What did he say? _

Seeing he was having trouble remembering, Leah sighed and prompted, "About us being friends?"

_Oh, yeah!_ He remembered he had told her he missed being friends with her. "Yeah, I meant it. You know I don't say things I don't mean. You used to be the same. I told you once that was something I liked about you," Paul replied as he took another huge bite of his sandwich.

"You have ketchup on your face, douche bag."

Paul quickly ran the back of his hand over his mouth as Leah rolled her eyes at him. "Now you smeared it. Ever heard of a napkin?" Leah huffed as she got up to walk into the kitchen, grab a paper napkin out of the holder on the table then walk back to hold it out to him.

Paul took it and swiped it over his mouth then asked, "Better?"

"Yes, thank you," Leah replied after plopping into the chair again.

After eating a couple of chips, Paul said, "So, you wanna be friends again. Is that what you're saying?"

Leah stared quietly at the floor for a moment and he wondered if she was changing her mind. Finally she turned to him and said simply, "Yes I guess I am. This whole thing is hard for me, you know? I haven't been a . . . a wolf very long, and Sam keeps trying to help me, but I don't want to be anywhere near him, the pompous ass. So, I guess, I thought that maybe . . . "

Paul stopped her with a grin. "Sure. Why the hell not? Jared spends most of his time now with Kim anyway. I could use a buddy."

Leah gifted him with her smile once again and Paul decided then he would work hard to see that at least once a day from now on. "Got any more of that?" she asked as she pointed to his sandwich.

"In the fridge."

Leah got up to make a sandwich while Paul turned on the TV and started to flick through the channels, realizing he had no idea what was on TV on Saturday afternoon. "So why aren't you working at the store today?" Leah called from the kitchen.

"Pete gives me one Saturday off a month. This is it," he called back.

Leah walked back in and this time, plopped down beside him on the couch. Setting her can of pop on the table, Leah leaned back and took a bite of her sandwich. "Oh my God, Paul. This is awesome," she said with her mouth full.

"I know, right?" Paul answered with a chuckle. "Grandma makes a killer meatloaf."

They sat there side by side, eating in comfortable silence, staring at the TV screen until Leah asked, "What the hell are we watching, anyway?"

"These guys live in a swamp and they catch alligators and sell them to companies to make boots and belts and stuff."

"Seriously? People make money doing this?" Leah asked in horror as she watched while two guys in bib overalls hauled an alligator into their boat.

"Ooh, look at that one! It's huge!" Paul called out with a grin.

With a shake of her head, Leah shoved the last bite of her sandwich into her mouth. As she swallowed, she got up to take both of their plates to the kitchen. Paul heard her run water on them then she walked back into the room to ask, "So, is this your plan for the day? Sit around in your underwear, watching rednecks catch alligators?"

_Underwear?_ Paul looked down and suddenly realized that he was wearing only the boxers he slept in! "Um, sorry about that. I just got up before you came in. Guess I should put some pants on." Then looking up at Leah, he added with a wiggle of his eyebrows, "Unless we declare it Underwear Day and you join me."

Rolling her eyes, Leah replied with disdain, "In your dreams, Paul."

"How do you know what I dream?" Paul shot back in fun.

Then his grin fell when he watched her scowl slip back in place as she sighed, "Maybe this friend thing isn't such a good idea."

Paul stood up to look her in the eye as he argued, "Come on, Leah. Sure it is. I'm just screwing with you. You're supposed to shoot back with a _"Fuck You,"_ or some other rude comment. That's what we do, remember? Why don't you chill while I jump in the shower, OK? Maybe it will come back to you."

Finally, Leah nodded and sunk back down into the couch. As Paul walked into the bathroom he realized how uptight Leah really was. In the past, she was so carefree and wouldn't have hesitated to spit out some insult at him. He also realized she wasn't that far removed from phasing for the first time, and her dad's death. It obviously was a lot for her to handle.

As he stood under the water, Paul thought about being friends with Leah, but he wasn't sure he could be just friends with a girl and not want to have sex with her. Leah was hot, he knew that. Just like all of the guys, he had snuck a peek or two of her right after she phased, before she could run for cover. Then he quickly realized he better stop that line of thinking or this shower would take longer than he wanted it to.

Paul got out and dried off then threw on clean underwear. After quickly brushing his teeth, he opened the door and stepped across the hall to his room to found a clean pair of cut-off shorts and slip those on. He then grabbed a t-shirt and carried it out with him to the living room where Leah was lounging on the couch flicking channels.

"Do you know there is nothing intelligent to watch on a Saturday afternoon?"

"Then let's get the hell out of here," Paul suggested. "Let's go do something."

Leah sat up, turned the TV off and asked, "Yeah? Like what?"

She had him there. There wasn't a whole lot to do in La Push. Paul looked outside and saw that it had stopped raining, even though the gray clouds hung low threatening to rain again. "I don't know. I'm not used to having any free time. What does Leah Clearwater do on a Saturday?"

Before she could answer, the door opened and Tyler skulked in, head down as usual. He stopped as soon as he saw Leah and stared rudely at her. "Uh, Leah, this is Tyler," Paul said in the way of an introduction.

Tyler moved quickly to the couch to sit beside Leah and smile. "Hey. What's up? You Paul's girlfriend?"

Leah let out a laugh as she answered, "Uh, no."

Tyler nodded then with a sly smile he leaned toward her and asked, "So, you wanna hang out sometime?"

Leah looked at Paul, who was bent over with laughter, then back at Tyler. "Uh, sorry, I don't date pre-schoolers."

Tyler shrugged, then stood up and shot back, "Your loss, babe," as he strode to the kitchen.

"What the hell was that?" Leah asked as she walked over to Paul.

"That was my mutant half-brother, Tyler. He's eleven going on thirty."

"Paul! Paul! Guess what? Sam took us fishing!" Travis yelled as he ran into the room.

Paul caught him and lifted him up into his arms as he asked, "Yeah? Did you catch anything?"

"Yes! And Sam is going to clean them and Emily is going to cook them and then we can eat them!"

Leah watched in amazement as Paul laughed and asked this adorable little boy questions about his day. Finally he turned to her and said, "This is my little brother, Travis. Trav, this is my friend, Leah."

Travis looked at Leah shyly and said, "Hi."

Leah smiled at Travis, hoping to put him at ease. "It's nice to meet you. Sounds like you had a great day."

"I did," he answered with a grin.

"Yeah, well you smell like fish," Paul stated as he set him down. "Go in the bathroom and wash up and put on a clean shirt, OK?"

"OK!" Travis called as he ran off to the bathroom to do as Paul asked.

Leah looked at Paul and said, "Look at you. All mushy with your little brother. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes."

"Yeah, well, don't tell anyone. I need to keep up my mean, bad-boy reputation," Paul grunted back.

"Hey, Paul," they heard from the doorway as Emily walked in with Sam, who closed the door behind him. Paul glanced at Leah and saw her scowl slip back in place and her shoulders slump a little. It pissed him off that she allowed Sam to still affect her that way. Then he noticed how Sam stared at Leah, probably wondering what the hell she was doing here.

"Hi, Leah," Emily said quietly.

"Hi," Leah returned even more quietly.

There was an awkward silence in the room until Sam said, "We told the boys we would take them back to our house to cook and eat the fish. We stopped by to see if you and Ruth wanted to join us."

"Uh, Grandma isn't back yet, and Leah and I are going to hang out, so . . ."

Sam narrowed his eyes at Paul. "Hang out?"

The door opened then once again as Ruth walked in shaking out her rain bonnet. She had just turned 72, and her hair was more gray than black now, but she was still a nice looking woman. "Well, hello everyone! How were the boys? Were they good?" she asked Emily.

Emily smiled as she answered, "Yes. We took them fishing and Travis loved it! Tyler tolerated it." Tyler huffed as he walked by on the way to his room.

"We stopped by to invite you to come along for a fish fry. Travis is excited about eating his catch," Sam explained.

"Why I would love to, thank you," Ruth told him then she turned to Paul and Leah. "Well, Leah! Hello! It's been too long since you've been around. How are you, honey?"

Leah gave her a small smile. "I'm good, thanks."

"Good. Pauly? Are you going to eat fish?"

"No, Grandma. Leah and I are going to hang out." Ruth looked between them, and Paul knew she was trying to figure out just what he meant by "hang out."

"Grandma! I caught some fish today!" Travis told her excitedly as he ran into the room.

"You did? Good. I like fish. Did you have fun?"

"Yes!"

"Um, we're going to head out. See you guys later," Paul announced. If Leah tensed up anymore, he was afraid she would explode. He slipped his t-shirt over his head and quickly shoved his feet into his shoes then he grabbed Leah's elbow and walked her to the door.

"Bye, Pauly. Good seeing you, Leah! Stop back again," Ruth called after them. Paul closed the door behind them and started to walk them toward the woods.

"Hey, Paul. Wait!" Paul turned to see Sam jog toward them. "I just wanted you to know that I took Tyler aside today and talked to him about what he saw last night."

"Shit." Paul had forgotten all about talking to Ty today about seeing him change into a huge wolf. "Sorry, Sam. They all were gone by the time I woke up and I didn't have a chance . . ."

"Yeah, I know. Look, I tried to give him the facts on a need-to-know basis. I explained what we were and what we do without mentioning the word _vampire_. I just told him we protect the rez, and thankfully he didn't ask from what. He was worried since he was your brother if it would happen to him. I told him I didn't think so."

"Yeah, but he is a cousin to Jared on his mom's side. Do you think . . ."

"I doubt it. That's pretty far removed from the gene, but I guess you never know. Anyway, I made him swear not to tell anyone, especially Travis. I told him we'd kick his ass if he told. Hopefully, he got the message."

"I hope so. Thanks, Sam. I'm sorry this happened. I had no idea he followed me."

"Hey, shit happens. Don't worry." Sam stole a glance at Leah, who was doing her best to hide behind Paul. "So, uh, where are you two off to?"

Paul shrugged. "Not sure, why?" he challenged. Sam had given up his rights to Leah when he imprinted on Emily. Paul felt like maybe he needed to remind him of that.

Sam stared him down for a moment then reluctantly backed off. "Well, if you guys change your mind about coming over for dinner, um, there's plenty. And you both are on patrol later. Don't forget."

"Got it. We're good," Paul answered for them knowing that was the last place Leah would want to be. Sam gave a final nod and strode back to the house then Paul turned to Leah. "I hope you don't mind that I answered for both of us?"

Leah finally let out the breath she seemed to be holding and answered, "Nope. Last place I want to be."

Paul stared at her then finally asked, "Why do you let him do that to you?" It really pissed him off that she allowed him to make her feel like shit.

"Do what?"

"Every time he comes around, you shrink into yourself and put on that 'poor, pitiful me' look. I fucking hate it, Leah."

That incited her anger. "I'm sorry, Paul, that my pain makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry that I find it hard to be around the asshole who broke my heart."

That did it! He couldn't hold back any longer. "Oh knock it off, Leah! I am so sick of your bullshit! _'Poor Leah. She got her heart broke. Wah.'_ Please. Why don't you start thinking about what you have instead of what you don't? You live in one of the nicest houses on the rez, AND you have your OWN room and your OWN bed! I sleep every night on a lumpy piece of shit couch so my brothers can sleep in my bed. You don't have to worry about when you're going to do homework while you're working a job that pays next to nothing just to help put food on the table. You have a mother who loves you and wants you and who would beat the shit out of anyone who tried to hurt you. I know because I was there when she showed up at Sam's after he dumped you. I saw her slap him so hard it knocked him to the ground. Do you have ANY idea how fucking jealous I am of you for that alone? You have a brother that loves you just as much, AND you have a whole pack of brothers who care about you and want to be your friend, if only you would let them. Maybe you need to get your head out of your ass and look around you. You got it pretty damn good." Paul turned away from her and ran his hand through his hair as he tried hard to calm himself. He hated yelling at her like that, but damn, that felt good to get off of his chest.

Finally he turned back to her and sighed as he found Leah, tears running down her cheeks, her arms wrapped around herself. "I'm sorry, Leah. I didn't mean to make you cry. But I'm not sorry for what I said. You needed to hear it."

Leah sniffed and ran her the back of her hand under her nose. "Don't you think I know that? I know what I have, Paul. And I know what a selfish bitch I am. Thanks so much for pointing it out." She turned away from him and said more calmly, "It's just . . . I hate how me makes me feel, but I really hate how I can't seem to do anything about it. I don't like feeling like I'm nothing when I'm around him. I just don't know . . . how to change it."

"Well, first of all, you have to realize he's never coming back to you. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that!" Leah whipped around and shot at him. "He imprinted and we all know that's for life." Closing her eyes, she tried to calm herself. "It's not even that. It's . . . he's in my head . . . all the time, telling me what to do . . . "

"Well, he is our almighty Alpha, and while he is, there's nothing you can do about that either. But, you can do something about the way you deal with it." Paul reached out and took Leah's hand. "I remember you a lot differently when I first met you. You were funny and confident and so strong. If Sam or anyone poked at you, you gave it back and then some. Leah, you have to find that strength again. Find that girl and bring her back."

Leah rolled her eyes as she sniffed, "Yeah, that's just so easy. Thanks, Paul. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because you are allowing someone else to control you right now." Leah let go of Paul's hand and took a couple of steps away from him as he asked, "You know what you really need?"

She turned and asked, "What?"

"You need to get laid."

Leah's eyes narrowed as she said, "Really? That's your answer? I need to get laid? Sex isn't always the answer to everything, you know."

"Well it should be," Paul said with a grin. "Have a little fun . . . get your self-confidence back. Confidence is very sexy."

"I'm a little sick of guys right now, thank you."

"Well, I didn't say you had to get laid by a guy. Could be a girl, if you're into that. But, I would want to come and watch . . . " Leah stopped him by smacking him hard on the shoulder. "What? So I'm curious, geez, you don't have to beat me for it."

"You know, Paul, every time I think you might actually have a brain, you show me what part of your anatomy you really think with."

"I'm a guy, Leah. Can't help it," Paul laughed as he put his arm around her shoulder. "Listen, I know that strong, sexy girl is still inside you somewhere. You just need to find a way to reconnect with her. Show Sam that you don't need him, and he's not going to hurt you anymore. Concentrate on what you want out of life and go get it. And think harder about what you have. You have a lot going for you. And if you need help, I'll be here for ya. OK?"

Leah stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds. "Huh. Now that is a shock. Something coming out of your mouth that makes sense," Leah said as a smile curled her lips. "Maybe you should listen to your own advice."

"Yeah, maybe." Paul decided then he had had enough of this emotional stuff. He grinned as he pulled Leah close. "Come on, let's get in the car and drive to Forks. Maybe we can go to the little diner there for some pie. What do you say?"

"Sure, why not. Maybe we can go trolling for chicks together," Leah answered as they walked toward Paul's car.

"Oh Leah, you don't know how much I wish you meant that!" Then they both laughed, which is something Paul decided they both needed to do more often.

Paul and Leah spent the next couple of weeks hanging out and patrolling together. The rest of the pack was very thankful that these two decided to spend their time together and away from them. The pack jerk and the pack bitch . . . made life easier for everyone.

Sam was the only one not crazy about it. But after Paul assured him they were just friends, Sam relented and realized that since Leah wouldn't let him help her, maybe she could learn things from Paul. He wanted Leah to be prepared to fight when and if the occasion arose. So Paul taught Leah some fighting techniques and had to admit she was a quick study. She almost kicked his ass that last time they worked out.

School was finally out for the summer, which was great for Paul in one way and not in another. He wouldn't have to worry about how to get homework done, but now his little brothers would be around . . . ALL the time. He had barely passed all of his classes, with help from Jared, and that just reaffirmed his decision to be done with school. Come next fall, he would have a hard time convincing his grandma of that, but by that time he would be 18 and there really wasn't much she could do about it. He could always get a GED if she really insisted.

Paul woke up this morning to Travis begging him to take him fishing. He didn't have to work until later in the day, so he found himself giving in just to stop the whining. He in turn called Leah and begged her to tag along, who gave in and brought not only the fishing gear, but Seth, too.

So now, the four of them were here at the lake, fishing. Well, Seth and Travis were fishing. Paul was dozing under a tree and Leah had her journal out and was writing in it. She had taken to journaling the last couple of months and it seemed to be helping her sort through her feelings.

Paul squinted his eyes to glance over at Leah and smile. In the last couple of weeks, she had chilled quite a bit and he hoped it was a trend. She seemed more relaxed lately, and that was a good thing for everyone who had to be around her. She still had her moments of moodiness and those times when she wanted to be left alone, but Paul figured that was to be expected.

"Paul! Look! I caught one!" Travis called out. Paul sat up and called back, "Looks like a keeper! Good job, Trav."

Leah's head had come up to look at the fish then she glanced over at Paul, smiled and went back to writing. "So, writing all about me, huh? My handsome features, my god-like body, how badly you want to run your hands over it . . . " Paul teased.

Leah's eyes never left her book as she answered, "Yeah, Paul. You caught me. This whole book is filled with my longing for you," her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Paul's rich laughter rang out as he settled back against the tree, his arms behind his head, knowing how great his biceps looked when he did that. "I knew it. Chicks dig me. I'm just too hard to resist."

To this, Leah picked up a small stone and threw it at him, hitting him in the leg, making him laugh again. "Oh, Leah. This friend thing between us is so cool."

Leah found herself smiling at that. Paul could be a jerk at times, but he was a good distraction. She really liked how he let her be whatever she wanted to be, and didn't try to change her. Since yelling at her that one time, he let her be mad or sad or bitchy, but she had to admit that those times were less and less.

Leah glanced at Paul again and saw that he had his eyes closed, but she doubted he was really sleeping. She knew he did that so he could be alone and no one would bother him. Paul craved alone time and hardly got it, so this was his way of "checking out" for awhile.

Not wanting to be late for his patrol, Seth told them he had enough of fishing, so they picked up all their gear and went back to Paul's house. Travis insisted on bringing home the fish "so Grandma could cook them for supper." They were rather small, but Paul didn't want to see him disappointed, so Seth agreed to stay long enough to help clean them, and Travis insisted on helping, too. They were all outside in back of Paul's house, Travis sitting on the ground, scaling the fish, and Paul and Seth standing at an old wooden bench, gutting them. Leah had gone into the house to get a pan for the finished fish. She walked back outside just as they started talking.

"Jake told me he's going to Bella's graduation party tonight," Seth stated.

"I thought she decked him for kissing her?" Paul asked in return.

"She did. Sprained her hand." Seth grinned.

Paul shook his head. "Man, he just doesn't get it, does he? He must really have it bad for her if he's willing to walk into a coven of . . ." Paul stopped and realized Travis was listening, "Uh, rich people." Seth smiled at that. "He's such an ass," Paul added.

"He's not going alone is he?" Leah asked.

Seth looked up. "No. Quil and Embry are going with him. You know he hardly goes anywhere that they don't follow."

"That's the truth. I think their lips are permanently attached to his ass," Paul commented snidely.

Leah smacked Paul's shoulder, saying, "Watch your mouth." She had been trying to get him to quit his cussing around Travis. She knew he idolized Paul and she didn't want him to get kicked out of the second grade for something he might pick up from his older brother.

Paul rolled his eyes at her, muttering, "Yes, ma'am," as he threw the fish he cleaned into the pan she brought out. They continued until all of the fish were cleaned then they all moved inside to the kitchen to clean up. Ruth fussed over Travis for bringing home enough fish for supper and he was eating it up. Paul was secretly happy to see it. He remembered her doing the same for him when he was little. She always tried hard to make up for the fact that she was all he had.

"Well, I gotta get to work," Paul stated as he wiped his hands on the towel.

Travis immediately turned and looked up at Paul with those killer brown eyes. "You can't stay and eat fish with me?" Paul hoped he wouldn't add the little pouty lip. The combination of the two was more than Paul could take.

"Sorry, buddy. I have to go to work at the store. Can you save me some fish? I'll eat it later when I come home."

"OK," Travis agreed sadly. Paul mussed his hair and Travis ran back to help his grandma with dinner.

Seth and Leah couldn't stay for dinner either because they were on patrol, but they couldn't tell Travis that. So, Seth said, "We have to go home and have dinner with our mom. We'll stay another time, alright Travis?" Travis just shrugged, which made Seth feel bad about making him sad, so he bent down to Travis' level and added, "I had a good time fishing today. Can we do it again sometime?"

That made Travis smile. "Yep," he agreed happily.

Seth smiled then feeling better, stood up to look at Leah. "We should get going."

Leah nodded at Seth as Paul asked his Grandma, "Where's Tyler?"

"He went over to Collin's house. I know his mother from church, so I thought maybe it might be good for Tyler to spend some time with him." Paul tried to hide his smile at how naive his grandma could be sometimes. Shelia's mom went to church every Sunday, and she had no idea her daughter was the biggest slut in school.

So Paul just nodded at his Grandma and said, "OK. See you later."

Seth and Leah offered their goodbyes and then followed Paul out the door. "You two want a ride?"

Seth shook his head. "No. I'll just phase and run to Sam's from here. See ya."

"Hey, Seth!" Paul called out and Seth stopped and turned around. "Um, thanks, you know, for today. Uh, Travis really needed that."

Seth grinned. "That was hard for you, wasn't it? Saying 'thank you?' " Paul scowled at him as he laughed. "Don't worry . . . it's cool." And with that, he was gone.

Paul turned to Leah who was now grinning. "You want everyone to think you're such a bad-ass. All anyone has to do is watch you with Travis or see how much you love your grandma. You're a big softie inside. It's kind of gross," she observed as she stuck her finger down her throat like she wanted to puke.

Paul reached out to grab her, but at the last minute, she jumped out of his reach then jogged toward the woods. "Don't you dare tell anyone," he called out listening to Leah's laughter trail behind her as she disappeared into the trees.

Paul shook his head as he realized he was actually getting used to hearing Leah's laughter. It had been so long since he heard it, and now it was becoming familiar again. He smiled as he climbed into his car and started the engine. _Good for her_, he thought. _Good for her_.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

TOMORROW NEVER KNOWS 

"Hey, Paul! We gotta go!" Paul heard from behind him just as his hand touched his time card to clock out for the night. He turned his head to see Jared dancing impatiently behind him. "Sam just called a meeting. Sounds big." Paul nodded as he whipped the green apron off over his head and quickly hung it on the hook by the time clock.

As they hurried out the back door, Paul asked, "What's going on? Do you know?" Jared shook his head as he jumped into the passenger seat of Paul's car. Paul threw it in drive and peeled out of the parking lot with a screech, putting the pedal down and driving way too fast the mile and a half to Sam's house where he slammed the car into park then he and Jared jumped out and ran inside.

"They're all out back," Emily said as soon as they hit the kitchen, so they continued through the house and out the back door where Sam gave them a reprimanding look as they jogged up to the group. "Now that everyone is _finally_ here," Paul was sure Sam started for their benefit, "I'll let Jake fill you in." Sam leaned over to Jacob who was standing beside him and said a few words to him before Jacob took over.

Paul took those few seconds to whisper to Jared, "What has the Swan bitch got us into now?" Jared just shrugged and elbowed him to shut up and listen so he straightened up and pretended to care as Jake shared what he learned at Bella's graduation party tonight. Apparently, the little psychic leech had some vision that an army of newborn bloodsuckers was coming here to kill their family. Paul was trying hard to find a problem with that as he had no love for the Cullens like Jake obviously did. Then Jacob went on to say that he had volunteered the pack to fight along side the Cullens to stop the newborns.

"Let me get this straight . . . are you saying we FINALLY get to kill some vampires?" Paul called out to Jake.

Sam answered, "Yes, Paul. The newborns are a threat to us all, not just the Cullens."

"Damn! Now that's what I'm talking about!" Paul exclaimed excitedly. Jared held up a hand so Paul could high-five him. Leah, who was standing on the other side of Paul, just rolled her eyes at him as he turned to her with his hand up.

"Yeah, right," she returned blandly then looked away.

"Oh man, don't leave me hanging here, babe," Paul said with a grin, his hand still in the air. Holding up her index finger, Leah stabbed the palm of his hand with it then looked back to Jake as Paul chuckled and lowered his arm.

Jacob was now explaining how the pack would need special training on how to battle the newborn vampires. That they were stronger than usual and more deadly . . . _blah, blah, blah,_ thought Paul. _A vampire is a vampire. You rip it apart and throw a match on it. Done._

"So, we are meeting in the clearing tonight at 3:00 a.m. for a special training session. Be here at 2:30 - we all go together in wolf form. Got it?" Sam ordered.

Everyone nodded in agreement and the group broke up. Leah called out her goodbye as she left with Seth then Paul turned to Jared to say, "I can't believe these fucking leeches think they need to teach us how to do our job. This is what we're born to do!"

"I can't believe they're willing to give us tips on how to kill their own kind. Don't you find that strange?" Jared asked.

"Hell, yeah, it's strange. But then everything they do is fucking weird."

Jared laughed and added, "I hear that!"

"Man, I'm heading home to get a nap before we go. Want a ride?"

"Nah. I'm going back to Kim's. We have another hour before her mom kicks me out for the night," he replied with a grin as he took off into the woods. With a shake of his head, Paul hoped to hell he never imprinted on anyone. He hated the thought of his life never being his own. He wanted freedom! The freedom to choose who he wanted to be with and when and for how long. From what Paul had seen of imprinting from Sam and Jared, it looked like a prison sentence to him.

Paul drove home to the little gray house in the woods and walked inside to find Tyler in the kitchen with his Grandma. "Hey," Paul said as a greeting as he walked to the fridge.

"I saved you a plate from dinner," Ruth said. "Hand it to me and I'll warm it up for you."

Paul handed her the plate covered in foil and then sat down at the table across from Tyler who was finishing a bowl of ice cream. Paul looked over at him and asked, "So, you hanging out with Collin now? How's that going?"

"I had to come home. He got sick," Tyler answered, not offering any details.

"Sick? What's wrong with him?"

"Real high fever, I guess. I don't know," Tyler answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

Paul closed his eyes as those words sunk in . . . _high fever. Shit._ Then Tyler added, "His mom said that Brady was sick, too."

"How old are these guys?" Paul asked.

"Older than me. Thirteen, I think."

_Thirteen. That's way too young, isn't it?_ Paul decided he better tell Sam anyway just in case.

"Um, Grandma? Hold my dinner. I need to call Sam real quick." Ruth nodded as she watched Paul walk to the phone that hung on the wall by the back door. He quickly dialed Sam's number as he heard Ruth tell Tyler to go and check on Travis. Paul looked at his grandma and she smiled. She was a smart one, his grandma.

"Hello?" Sam answered.

"Hey, Sam, it's Paul. My brother just came home from Collin's house and said that he was sick with a really high fever. He also said that Collin's mom told him that Brady has it, too. You don't think that . . . "

"Shit. Yeah, I do."

"They're just little kids! Ty says they're only thirteen! Isn't that too young?"

"I don't know. Since Leah phased, nothing really surprises me anymore," he heard Sam sigh deeply. "I guess with these newborns coming . . . look, I better get over there and check it out. I'll call Jared and have him head over to Brady's. Thanks, Paul, for the heads-up."

"Sure." Paul hung up the phone and sunk into the nearest chair at the table. Ruth set his plate of food in front of him, but suddenly he wasn't as hungry as he had been when he walked in.

"Those boys . . . are they?" Ruth asked, dreading the answer.

Paul gave her a slight nod as he answered, "Sam and Jared are going to check it out." He didn't say anymore as he didn't want his grandma to know about what was coming. She worried enough as it is when he went out on patrol.

"Well, you need to eat. Come on, before it gets cold." Ruth picked up his fork and handed it to him, so he smiled and put a fork full of fish in his mouth. She patted his shoulder as she went to the fridge to pour him a glass of milk. After setting in front of him she announced, "I'm tired, honey. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

"Night, Grandma. Thanks for saving me dinner."

Ruth smiled as she leaned over and kissed him on the head. "You're welcome. Good night." He heard the bedroom door close as he put down his fork then dropped his head into his hands for a moment. _First Leah, and now little kids. Why was this happening? What was coming that was so bad that the original pack couldn't handle it?_

Tyler walked back into the kitchen and sat down across from Paul, but when Paul didn't hear him say anything, he looked up to ask, "What?"

"You know what's wrong with Collin, don't you?"

Paul sighed and closed his eyes. He did not want to have this conversation with Tyler.

"Is he . . . is he turning into . . . you know . . . what you are?" Tyler asked warily.

Paul sighed as he opened his eyes to look at his little brother. He was surprised to actually see some concern there. "I don't know yet, Ty. I called Sam and he is heading over there to find out what's going on. Probably just the flu or something. Didn't you say Brady was sick, too?" Tyler nodded, so Paul said, "Yeah, so that's probably what it is. Sam will find out and let me know."

Tyler again nodded then stood up. "Whatever. I'm going to bed." Tyler left the room and soon Paul heard him close the bedroom door.

Paul looked down at his plate and decided he needed to eat whether he felt like it or not, so he sat there in the rare silence and finished his dinner. Then he ran some water over his plate and into his empty glass and left the kitchen, turning out the light as he left. After plopping down onto the couch, he picked up the small alarm clock that was on the table and set it for two a.m. then laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling. Hearing about Collin and Brady made him remember his own time with the fever . . .

_The fever had hit him right after his 16th birthday. For some strange reason, his dad had called him out of the blue two days later to wish him a belated Happy Birthday. Paul had no idea his dad even remembered he had a son, let alone remembered the day he was born. His dad was in jail . . . again, so the call was brief. Paul had been cordial on the phone, answering his dad's questions with a short yes or no then his dad ended the call with an apology, something Paul never thought he would hear._

_"I'm sorry, son, that I haven't been a father to you. I tried, in the beginning, but . . . well, I guess it didn't work out so good. I just wasn't cut out to be the daddy-type, you know? I hope, someday, maybe we can . . . well, no use wishing for something that will never happen, huh?" Paul heard his dad cough before he mumbled, "Have a good birthday, son. I gotta go." Then the line went dead._

_Paul had hung up the phone and then felt a rage run through his body like he had never felt before. He had no idea why that call made him so angry . . . he was used to not having his father around. Hell, he barely remembered him! Suddenly he just wanted to hit someone or something so badly that he slammed his fist through the wall! His grandma almost fainted, and the look on her face just killed him. He ran out the back door and into the woods where he phased for the first time into a giant dog. _

Paul pushed that memory away and told himself he needed to get some sleep. And yet, that nagging worry wouldn't quite leave him alone. _What was coming? Were these newborns that much more dangerous that they needed to increase their numbers? _Paul decided that maybe he should take this threat a little more seriously. He hated the idea of working with the Cullen clan, but if that's what it took to keep his family safe, he would do it.

The alarm went off at two and Paul nearly jumped out of his skin! Grabbing the clock, he shut it off then sat up and wiped his hands over his face, trying to give his heart some time to calm down. After using the bathroom and splashing some cold water on his face, he made his way outside where he stripped and tied his sweatpants to his ankle, then phased and headed for Sam's where he asked as soon as he arrived, "So? Collin and Brady?" he asked.

Sam nodded, "Yes. Both of them."

"Geez, Sam! They're just little kids! What the hell is going on here?"

Sam shook his head as he answered, "I don't know, Paul. But it must be big. I stayed with Collin as long as I could and tried to help him through his first phasing. The kid is strong, I'll give him that."

"But they won't be ready to fight yet. What's the point?"

"I don't know. I really don't."

Just then Jared joined them. "How's Brady?" Sam asked.

"He popped out right there in the living room in front of his whole family! I couldn't believe it. When I got there, everyone was freaking out. I got him out of the house and tried to get him to calm down then finally got him to phase back. I told them I had to leave, but I would be back to check on him. I also told them they could call you."

Sam gave a nod to Jared then noticed that everyone was here. "Hey! Settle down!" he bellowed to get the pack's attention. "We'll phase and head out together. When we get there, I need you all to stay calm." Paul noticed that Sam glanced at him when he said that. Paul rolled his eyes at Jared, who snickered. "I know what I'm asking you to do won't be easy, but I think this might be helpful to us."

They all quickly phased and ran together in one pack toward the clearing. Leah had come up beside Paul. _"So, Mr. Hot Head, looking forward to playing with the bloodsuckers?"_

_"You know me. I only like to play when I can bite."_

_"Ugh. I'm sure that's some kind of sexual reference."_

_"You know me too well, baby." _

They continued on to the clearing and as they got close, they closed ranks. Sam was out front, of course, as their fearless leader, and everyone else stayed back a few paces. Bella's leech boyfriend, Edward, could read minds, so he acted as the interpreter between Sam and Carlisle. Paul was outraged when he heard Sam tell him we would just watch.

_"We came here just to watch? What the fuck? How is that any fun?" _Paul complained.

_"Knock it off, Paul. Just shut up and try to learn something," _Sam scolded.

So they all stood there and watched the little vampires frolic in the field, pretending to fight each other. Paul really didn't get what he was supposed to be learning. He heard the blond bloodsucker say that you don't want to let them get their arms around you because they can squeeze you to death, and you don't want to go for the obvious kill. Check. He got that. But his whole body was twitching just sitting there watching. Every fiber of his being wanted to be down there, ripping apart every one of them! As Paul looked around, he couldn't figure out how the rest of his pack could stay so calm.

_"Just chill, Paul." _Jared was right beside him and he could probably feel the energy coming off of him.

_"Isn't this killing you? How can you just sit there?"_

Leah chimed in, _"Discipline, young grasshopper. You must have patience."_

_"A Kung-Fu reference. Good one, Leah," _Jared commented.

_"Shut up and pay attention!" _That came from Sam.

They all sat there for what seemed like hours to Paul until finally, it was over. He had managed to calm himself down and had fallen into a state of excruciating boredom, just laying there on his stomach amid the leaves and dirt of the forest. Jumping up, he was now more than ready to head for home. Then Sam suggested to Carlisle that he allow the pack to learn each of their scents, so we made no mistakes in the future. _Is he fucking serious?_ Paul thought. _We have to smell each one of them? _

_"Let's go. Get in line," _Sam ordered. This was a lot to ask of Paul's small amount of patience.

_"Come on, Paul. Stay with me," _Leah suggested, knowing how agitated Paul was.

Paul relented and stayed close to Leah as they walked down the line of vampires. Each scent stung his nose a little more until he thought he would explode. After the last one, Paul quickly trotted away, back to the tree line where he turned to watch Jacob break away and head over toward Bella. When she reached out and ran her hand down his neck and petted him like a dog, it made Paul want to vomit. _When was Jake going to wake up and smell the coffee? _He hated seeing Jake make such a fool of himself.

_"Yeah, me too. It's disgusting." _Paul looked over to see Leah beside him. _"I can't stand the little bitch." _Paul smiled to himself . . . that's the Leah he knew and loved. _"Let's get the hell out of here. I need some fresh air. The stench is burning my nose."_

_"Gladly."_

_Four days_. Paul was back on the couch, trying to sleep, but that phrase kept repeating itself in his mind. The little pixie bloodsucker told them she saw the newborns coming in four days_._ _If they didn't stop them, they could come here . . . to the rez.. His grandma, his brothers . . . they could all be in danger. The head vamp, Carlisle, he had said there were at least 20 of them. _

Paul had never been worried like this before. Since becoming a wolf, he had never had any problems taking down a leech and ripping it apart. Of course, they never had 20 show up at the same time before. He hated that Carlisle had put doubt in his head.

Paul finally drifted off to sleep only to be wakened a few hours later by his grandma. "Pauly, honey, wake up. You'll be late for work." He forced his eyes open to see his grandma smile at him before she walked away.

Rubbing his eyes, Paul sat up then made his way to the bathroom. As he stood in the shower trying to wake up, he thought again for the hundredth time how much easier his life would be if he didn't have a job. But he had to work . . . they needed the money. He was the man of the house and he didn't take that responsibility lightly.

Paul dried off and got dressed then trudged out to the kitchen to sink into a chair at the table. Ruth quickly poured him a cup of coffee and set it down in front of him. "Thanks, Grandma," he said, still dying for another few hours of sleep, but instead took a big gulp of the hot coffee, hoping the caffeine would help get him going.

"I made you some eggs," Ruth stated as she put a plate down on the table and immediately, Paul picked up his fork and began shoveling his breakfast into his mouth until Ruth scolded, "Slow down, Pauly!"

Instantly slowing down, Paul smiled as he realized she had been saying that to him for as long as he could remember. He had the bad habit of inhaling his food instead of really chewing it. As soon as he finished, he stood up to put his dishes in the sink and say, "I gotta go, Grandma. Thanks for breakfast." He dropped a kiss on her cheek on his way to the door and as he grabbed his keys and headed for the car, he remembered how Leah teased him about how much he loved his grandma. Well, he was OK with that. He did love her . . . more than anyone else in this world.

Paul arrived at work with two minutes to spare, clocked in and went to work. Working at the store turned out to be a good distraction for him right now. He stocked shelves, unloaded the produce truck, bagged groceries and carried them out, then cleaned the bathroom and finally mopped the floors. He was tired, but it was a good tired. When he clocked out, he realized he hadn't given one thought to what was coming . . .

Until now. As Paul lay down that night to sleep, all those worries came back again. The night seemed so long. As much as he needed and craved sleep, it was hard to put the worries out of his head.

The next couple of days went by much the same . . . he worked, spent time with his grandma and Travis, and worried about what to do with Tyler, who was becoming more and more withdrawn and moody. He mentioned it to Leah one night when they were hanging out after a pack meeting. It was only around nine, and neither of them felt like going home just yet.

"I mean, don't get me wrong . . . I'm happy not to hear all the shit that usually comes out of his mouth, but I know he's not happy here, and it worries my grandma."

"Have you tried talking to him?"Leah suggested simply.

Paul was a little ashamed to admit, "No. I just figured he'd bite my head off if I tried."

"You don't know that for sure though. Think about where he came from, Paul. If your mother is as bad as you make everyone think she is, then maybe he's dealing with a lot of stuff he doesn't know how to handle."

Paul just shrugged his shoulders as he mumbled, "Yeah, I guess."

Leah's hand touched his arm as she told him softly, "Maybe what he needs is a big brother to talk to and not just another adult ordering him around."

Sighing deeply, Paul turned to Leah and said, "You think you're so smart, don't you?"

That brought a smile to her face. "Uh, yeah. I know I am."

Paul chuckled as he admitted, "Yeah, I know you are, too. OK, I'll try to find some time to talk to him."

Leah shocked him by leaning over and putting a light kiss on his cheek before she said, "Good answer."

As she turned away, Paul was surprised at the warm feeling he felt rush through him just then. Leah wasn't one to show affection at all, and he wasn't used to receiving it from anyone other than his grandma. This friendship thing between them was cool, but he had to be careful that it didn't go any farther than that.

When Paul got home that night, he thought about what Leah had said, and decided if Tyler was still up, he would try to talk to him. Walking in the door, Paul could hear the TV, so he knew he'd find Tyler in the living room. "Hey, Ty," he said as he stepped into the room.

Tyler barely looked away from the screen to grunt, "Hey," as Paul crossed in front of him to plop down on the couch.

As Paul sat there, he realized he had no idea how to even start this conversation with Tyler. Finally he said, "So, Ty, um . . . you want to talk?"

Tyler turned toward Paul with squinted eyes and asked warily, "Why?"

"Because I can tell you're not happy here, and I want to know why."

"Yeah, right," Tyler huffed. "Like you care," he added as he turned back to the TV.

With a roll of his eyes, Paul sighed and thought how this was going to be a lot harder than he thought. "I might if you quit being such an ass and give me a chance," he offered.

Tyler threw the remote on the coffee table and stood up to spit at Paul, "Look, Travis might believe your bullshit because he's little, but I don't, so just fuck off and leave me alone!" And with that, he stomped off to his room and closed the door behind him.

Paul's head fell back against the couch cushions in frustration as he decided that was the last time he took Leah's advice about anything.

Finally, the night before the newborns were expected, Paul couldn't take the strain anymore. He was so worked up he felt he might explode if he stayed confined in the house any longer.

Taking a deep breath, Paul walked over to his grandma, who was standing at the counter putting dishes away, and put his arms around her and hugged her close for a minute. If this was the last he was to see of her for some reason, he wanted her to know how much she meant to him.

"Well, what was that for?" Ruth asked when he let go.

"I just want you to know how much I love and appreciate you, Grandma. You took me in and raised me as your own, and I don't know where I would be without you."

Tears quickly formed in her eyes as Ruth sighed softly, "Oh Pauly," and then touched her hand to his cheek. "I don't where I would be without you. I know something is brewing that you don't want to talk about, and that's OK. I don't want to know. Just promise you'll come home to me."

Now suddenly Paul felt his own tears threaten, something he was definitely not accustomed to. Nodding, he swallowed over the huge lump in his throat then said solemnly, "I promise." As Paul walked out the door and closed it behind him, he hoped to hell he could keep that promise.

Making his way into the woods, Paul stopped to strip off his shorts and tie them to his ankle. He felt the need to run, so he quickly phased into his strong wolf body and ran through the forest, relishing the feel of the wind whipping through his fur. He ran hard, trying to release the tension that had imprisoned his body for the last couple of days and found it strangely quiet inside his head. Apparently, all of the other pack members were spending time with their families while they could. As he ran, he suddenly remembered that time again when he phased into his wolf body for the first time, and how he was completely freaked out! But now, he loved how strong this body was and how it made him feel so in control. The adrenaline rush he got chasing a vampire and catching it and tearing it apart . . . it was like nothing else. Paul had always been so confident when it came to what he was made for, but now . . . the thought of what was to come was overwhelming. _What if he lost one of his pack brothers? Or Leah? _That last thought really killed him.

When Paul finally stopped running, he found himself at the top of a cliff, overlooking the ocean. Walking to the edge, he sat back on his haunches and looked out at the view. A huge moon was rising slowly over the water and he found himself soon mesmerized watching it's reflection move with the waves.

It wasn't long after that Paul felt Leah phase in. It sounded like she was just as tense and had needed to run too. He could tell by her thoughts she was thinking about her mother and Seth. Leah was glad Seth was staying hidden with Edward and Bella to keep them informed of what was going on in the fight. She was afraid she would be too distracted keeping track of him to do what she needed to do.

Paul suddenly tensed as he heard, _"Since when do you come here? This is my spot."_

"_Geez, Leah, I didn't know. I must have missed the fucking sign." _Paul didn't mean to sound so angry . . . his emotions were all over the place.

"_Whatever, I'll go." _Leah turned to leave and Paul thought, _"Stay."_

Leah turned back to look at him and then finally sat down beside him. She was confused. They had been getting along so well, and now . . .

_"I'm sorry, Leah. Just thinking about tomorrow."_

"_I get that. That's why I'm here. I find looking out at the water kind of calms me somehow."_

They spent a few minutes sitting side-by-side, looking out at the water, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally Paul broke into Leah's thoughts. _"You're not just worried about your brother. You're scared, aren't you?" _

_"Aren't you?"_

_"It's nothing I haven't done before. I've been waiting a long time to dig my teeth into a leech."_

_"Cut the bullshit, Paul. I could feel the worry coming off of you before I even got close to here. You don't have to be so macho all the time, you know."_

_"OK, fine, I'm a little worried. Not that I can't handle the fighting. It's just the number of them that worries me. I just hope the Cullens can do their part when it comes to killing their own kind."_

_"Yeah, me too."_

Suddenly, without warning Leah, Paul shifted back to his human body. He shook for a few seconds as the phasing wore off then he sat back down on the ground, pulling his knees up and hooking his arms casually around them. Leah looked over, wondering why he did that. Maybe he was done sharing his thoughts with her and he truly wanted to be alone. She stood and turned to go and again he simply said, "Stay."

Paul was sick and tired of thinking about tomorrow. He phased so he couldn't hear and feel Leah's worries. It was too much for him.

Leah wasn't as comfortable with nudity as he and the rest of the pack were, but as she stood there and stared at him, sitting there, silently gazing out at the water, she felt feelings for Paul that she had never felt before. He was a kind of kindred spirit . . . someone who understood pain because he had lived with it his whole life. Leah had only carried her pain for a few months.

Bravely, she allowed herself to phase right there instead of hiding like she usually did. When she was in control of her human body, she sunk down to sit beside Paul on the hard ground. She mimicked his position by pulling her knees up in front of her and then gazed at the glorious moon rising in front of her. Paul gave her a sideways glance and a smile played at his lips.

"What?" Leah asked as she noticed his glance.

"No hiding to phase? No covering yourself?" Paul looked back out at the water and added, "I like it, Clearwater. This is how you should always be: proud and strong."

Leah smiled to herself as she decided she liked that. _Proud and strong._

They sat there quietly again for awhile until Paul broke the silence by commenting softly, "Nights are the hardest." Then with a glance at Leah, he added, "You know how I love my sleep, but it's been hard the last few nights. I found myself having bad dreams for the first time since I was like 10."

"Yeah, me too," Leah agreed. "Last night I dreamt that one of the newborns had Seth in a death grip and as hard as I tried, I couldn't get him to let go. Seth's eyes looking at me, begging me . . ."

"Hey," Paul said as he put his hand out to touch Leah's shoulder, "Don't do that. Let it go, OK? Seth won't even be there."

"I know, I keep telling myself that. I'm not afraid to fight, Paul. I want to go and I want to prove that I can be a member of this pack."

"We get that. You don't have to go all _'I can do anything you can do'_ on us. But just don't take any chances, OK? We all have to be smart tomorrow."

Leah gave him a slight nod then looked back to the water to calm herself. She wasn't as sure of herself as she wanted Paul to think she was. The fear that drove her out here was creeping back and she was trying hard not to let it consume her.

After awhile, Leah turned her head to look over at Paul, and found him staring intently at her. She felt herself suddenly being pulled into his gaze and she could see in his eyes some of the same fear she felt, which surprised her. Maybe her vulnerability came from what was before them, or maybe it had been too long since Leah had kissed anyone, but suddenly, she found herself leaning towards Paul to touch her lips gently to his.

Paul was taken aback for a second or two by Leah's move, but had to admit he had been thinking the same thing as he stared at her, wondering if she would slap him if he kissed her. And now, as he moved his lips over hers, he felt a fire building in the pit of his stomach.

Leah realized how badly she wanted to feel Paul's strong arms around her as she involuntarily moved closer to him and sighed as he put those arms around her and deepened the kiss by pushing at her lips with his tongue. As her tongue met his, she felt a shudder of arousal go through her that surprised her. Paul had always been a very sexual guy . . . she knew that about him, and she had surprisingly lusted after him a couple of times after they phased and she would catch a glimpse of his hard, rugged body. But now, as her arms suddenly snaked around his neck and she tangled her fingers into his hair to tug at it, she was shocked at her sudden abandonment of her morals. Here she was, completely naked with her best friend, throwing herself at him like some slut, yet she couldn't stop herself.

Oh, how Paul liked that little tug on his hair. He wanted to bury himself in her and feel nothing but Leah around him . . . but something stopped him and he pulled back. Unlike Shelia, he needed to look into Leah's eyes, to see . . . _is this what she really wanted? Why did he care so much?_

Leah stared hard into his eyes, showing him the desire swelling inside her, even though she knew it was dangerous, but she didn't care. Pulling him back to her, she kissed his lips, biting at his lower lip and pulling it into her mouth.

Paul groaned as he laid her back onto the ground and kissed his way down to her perfectly round breasts. Her nipples were already standing up as he sucked one of them into his mouth and she arched her back and cried out as he teased her by rolling his tongue around the tip then sucking lightly. Leah's hands were still tangled in his hair and she pulled at it as she moaned. This surprised and pleased Paul. He had no idea the passion that was inside his best friend.

Completely amazed at how good that felt, Leah decided she wanted to forget everything and just be in this moment. She had spent the last few days worrying about going into this battle_. Her mother had just lost a husband . . . what if she lost one or both of her children now? _It was all too much. She wanted to just let go for a little while and not think about anything.

Leah rolled to her side and touched Paul's face before ravaging his mouth with hers. He loved how soft her lips were and they tasted so sweet. The thought crossed his mind that they should stop right here . . . this wasn't a good idea. But he wasn't exactly thinking with his brain right now . . . especially since Leah was stroking his erection and pulling at it until he thought he would lose it right there. Again he was surprised at Leah's passion and was overwhelmed by her eagerness. He wanted to stop, he wanted to hold back, but she felt so damn good.

Before he could think anymore, Paul rolled Leah to her back and moved over her. "I need you, now, baby," he whispered into her ear. Then he remembered he didn't have any protection and blurted out, "Shit!"

"What? What's wrong?" Leah whispered anxiously.

"I don't have a condom on me."

"It's OK," she panted. "I'm pretty sure I'm never going to be able to get pregnant. I'm a wolf, Paul. How would that work with me phasing? And I don't have periods anymore. Please, don't stop now. I need you, too."

Paul hovered at her entrance, trying to make up his mind until she began gyrating beneath him, begging, "Please, Paul. Please." Finally, he couldn't take it and he eased into her as she gasped and dug her fingernails into his shoulder. She was so tight . . . it was killing him to go easy, but he didn't want to hurt her.

"Yes!" Leah cried out she felt so completely filled . . . Paul was big, and she knew he was trying to go slow so as not to hurt her, but that's not what she wanted right now. "Paul, please . . . " she begged as he pulled back and drove into her again, this time a little harder. All he could feel was her wrapped around him and she was so tight and hot and wet . . . he moved a little faster and she met him with every stroke, quickly settling into a rhythm faster and faster until he heard her scream out, "Yessss! Oh yess!" and he felt her contract around him and then he let go and felt his whole body shudder with his release.

Leah held on to him tightly as he lay there trying to catch his breath. _Oh my God, that was amazing. _Paul kissed her neck as he realized he had never felt anything like that with any other girl he ever had sex with. As Leah put a kiss on his shoulder, Paul finally rolled off and landed on his back next to her and closed his eyes. That's when the panic set in . . . _What will be the price paid for this? What will she expect from me? What will I expect from her? We're just friends. . . I don't want to be any more than that._

Rolling to face Paul, Leah gently ran her hand through Paul's hair as she marveled at what had just happened between them. She didn't remember ever feeling this way with Sam. _What was going on here?_

Paul couldn't believe how much he enjoyed the feel of Leah's fingers running through his hair. He finally opened his eyes to look over at her as she smiled and said, "Wow. I hate to admit it, but you were right. I did need to get laid." That made him laugh . . . something he didn't do nearly enough, and Leah smiled at the sound.

"God, me too," he admitted.

They lay there quietly for a moment, neither of them really knowing what to say then Leah asked softly, "Where are you sleeping tonight?"

"Home I guess," Paul shrugged. "Why?"

"How about . . . here?" she suggested hesitantly.

Paul smiled as he reached up to brush Leah's hair from her face. He had always wondered what it would be like to hold someone all night while he slept. "Won't you get into trouble for not showing up at home?"

"No," Leah answered. "Unfortunately, Mom is aware of what's happening tomorrow. She'll just think I'm out patrolling or preparing, or whatever." She was quiet for a moment as she thought again of tomorrow then she whispered with one of the sexiest smiles he'd ever seen, "It's a nice warm night. I feel like camping."

"I like camping," Paul replied with a grin, moving so he could hold out his arm to invite her to move closer. Leah quickly scooted over, laying her head on Paul's shoulder as he curled that arm around her. It felt even better to hold her than he hoped it would. His eyes slid shut as he said quietly, "Thanks for staying."

Leah smiled against his shoulder. "Thanks for asking."

They were quiet again for a few minutes until Paul asked, "Leah? About tomorrow? Stay close to me, OK?"

She lifted her head to look into his eyes. "Are you worried about me, Paul? I can hold my own, you know. Just because I'm a girl . . ."

"This has nothing to do with you being a girl," Paul insisted. "You've never been in a fight before. You don't know what to expect. You saw them in training. They're very fast and . . . "

Leah stopped him by sitting up, putting her hand on Paul's chest and looking down at him with a smile. "OK, I get it. I'll stay close, I promise."

Paul smiled back as he hooked a piece of her hair behind her ear and replied,"That's all I ask." Then Paul pulled Leah back down to him and turned her away from him so they could spoon. Throwing his arm over her middle, he whispered, "Try and get some sleep. You'll need it." Then Paul closed his eyes, buried his face into her neck and as he inhaled her sweet scent, he found himself wanting to remember this moment forever. 

Too soon, Paul awoke just as the sun was just beginning to come up. Somehow, as they slept, Leah had turned and was now laying facing Paul, who smiled at her and gently kissed her on the lips. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment then he said softly, "We better go."

Leah nodded somewhat reluctantly as Paul sat up and ran his hand through his hair then he stood and stretched and yawned. Leah finally sat up and gathered her long hair into a messy bun and secured it with the elastic band she always kept on her wrist. She had cut it some when she started phasing, but it still hit her shoulders and needed to be secured. As Leah finished, Paul held out his hand to help her up and she took it. When they were both standing, facing each other, Leah said to him, "Paul, last night was . . . what it was. We took what we needed from each other. I'm not expecting anything else, OK?"

Paul felt relief flood him . . . and yet, surprisingly felt some sadness at her statement, but he smiled and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, me too." Even so, he felt a need to pull her close one last time and hug her. "Thanks, for being here. I . . . "

Leah stopped him with her hand on his mouth. "Don't say anything else. Today will be hard enough. Let's don't say anything stupid, OK?"

That brought a smile to his face as he stepped back and asked, "Ready to kick some vampire ass?"

"Let's do this," she grinned.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

HELTER SKELTER 

Paul and Leah padded into Sam's backyard as wolves, and for once, Paul found he wasn't the last one here as Embry and Quil were still missing. Leah quickly looked for her brother and when she spotted him, she left Paul to trot over to him.

As Paul stood there watching Leah with Seth, he tried hard to bury the memory of what happened between them last night so none of his pack brothers would see it. He was still rather shocked that it had really happened, wondering if somehow he had dreamt it . . . but when he woke up on the hard ground this morning with Leah beside him . . .

_"So you ready to kick some bloodsucker ass?" _

Paul started as Jared broke into his thoughts. _"More than ready . . . I would say it's about damn time!" _he answered.

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Sam called out as soon as Embry and Quil jogged in, still as human boys. Sam hadn't phased yet and he was standing on top of an old stump with the pack gathered around him. "Today we go into battle, but we don't go alone. We go as one pack, one family. Look around you and know that you have a brother," he glanced at Leah, "or a sister, behind you to back you up. Don't do anything stupid. Don't try to be a hero. This is what we were made to do, and I know that all of you will do it well. We leave as one, and we come home as one." Then he put his head back and let out a war cry that shattered the silence of the early morning. It was just what they needed to get them ready to fight.

Paul felt the adrenaline start to kick in and his body amped up in anticipation of chasing down and killing a vampire. This is what they were made to do, and he was more than ready.

Sam called out to Seth, who immediately trotted over to him. "You need to go now to meet up with Jacob. Be safe, OK?"

Seth nodded his head and turned to go, stopping for a moment beside Leah. _"Be careful out there, sis. Don't do anything stupid."_

_"Yeah, cause that's me . . . I'm so stupid," _Leah thought before she could stop it. She knew her brother loved her and was worried about her going into battle for the first time, but she just didn't know how to reassure him when she was wasn't so sure herself.

_"That's not what I meant and you know it."_

_"I know, I'm sorry. Paul has already ordered me to stay close to him today, so don't worry. I'll see you later, OK?"_

_"OK." _And with that, Seth took off into the forest to meet up with Edward and Bella. Jacob was already with them, having carried Bella to a hiding spot up in the mountains so the newborns couldn't pick up her scent. Once Seth got there, Jake would leave and join the pack in the fight. Paul was shocked when he found out that Edward was going to sit out the fight with Bella. His family would be fighting for their lives, and he chooses to sit on his ass and do nothing? Paul just didn't get it. His pack would not go into battle without him . . . no fucking way.

Embry and Quil phased and instantly felt the electricity flowing through the pack. "Let's go!" Sam called out and then he quickly phased to take his place as the black, menacing leader of this wolf pack. The ground shook as the six giant wolves ran through the woods on the way to the clearing. Collin and Brady were still just pups, so Sam made them stay home, which pissed them off, but they would probably get their chance someday. Sam was very confident that the seven of them could take down their share of newborns.

_"You're gonna stick by me today, right?" _Paul asked Leah as they ran side by side.

_"Yes, Paul. But how are you going to rip through all these newborns and baby sit me at the same time? I'm a wolf, too, you know. You've shown me how to fight. Now give me a chance to show you I can do it."_

_"I will. But I want you to stay close just in case you need back-up. Don't go all Xena, Warrior Princess on us, OK?"_

_"Listen to him, Leah," _Sam broke in. _"This is your first fight. Same goes for you, Quil. Don't get cocky. Remember their strength and their speed. And don't be too proud to ask for back-up. That's an order!"_

The pack arrived at the clearing and stayed hidden in the treeline as they were the element of surprise that the newborns wouldn't be expecting. Sam gave a little bark to let the Cullens know that the pack was in place then waited until Carlisle gave a wave to let Sam know he heard him. Seth was almost to Edward and Bella then Jacob would be leaving to join them. The stage was set. Now all they had to do was wait.

Paul was pacing like a caged animal. He was so ready for this fight and he hated the waiting! Leah sat on her haunches watching him pace back and forth. She could feel his excitement and was trying to reassure herself that she could do this, wanting so badly to prove to all them that she was an equal member of this pack. Leah hated being treated differently because she was a girl. This was her chance and she really didn't want to blow it.

Letting out a sight of relief, Leah had seen Seth arrive safely at the meeting point with Bella and Edward, and now Jacob was on his way here. Suddenly, Sam tensed and five other heads came up to see what he had seen. From one side of the clearing, they saw six or seven of the newborn vampires blur into the clearing. The Cullens were ready and they rushed ahead to meet them head on.

Paul was ready to take off but Sam barked out, "No one move - not yet!"

Fighting the Alpha order was useless, as it was physically impossible to break, and yet Paul struggled all the same and snarled as Leah scolded, "Paul, chill. We'll get our chance."

Finally, from the other side of the clearing, at least ten more vampires came into sight. "Now! Go!" Sam ordered and the six huge wolves immediately jumped to action, galloping into the clearing each going a different direction to intercept the enemy.

Leah followed Paul as he leapt hungrily at one of the leeches and took him down. Leah's animal instinct took over as she bit into the vampire's arm and ripped it off, marveling at strength of the skin and the absence of blood. A rage like she had never known flowed through her as she tore at the vampire, throwing body pieces one by one over the grassy meadow.

_"Leah! Leah! That's good, babe. Move on!"_ she heard Paul instruct_. "Good job. Who knew you could be so vicious?" _Leah stepped back and looked with horror at what she had done. _"Don't go there now, Leah. There will be time for that later. Come on!"_

Leah tried to keep her head about her as she plunged into the battle beside Paul. There were body parts flying everywhere and the Cullens were blurring in and out so fast, it was hard to keep track of them. Another newborn flew into their path, and together they tore it apart then moved on as Paul dubbed them the _"New Dynamic Duo." _

_"Really, Paul? Jokes, now?" _Leah huffed at him as they ran.

_"Hey, come on, babe . . . this is the fun part of being a wolf! Enjoy it!"_

_Enjoy it . . . _Leah found that a little difficult in all mayhem around her. The action was getting a little chaotic now and Leah fearfully found herself separated from Paul. As she spinned around nervously looking for him, she saw that Jacob had joined the fight and was tearing into a vampire with Quil. One of the Cullens had started a fire and was throwing the newborn bodies into it and _oh, the smell . . . _it was so sickening sweet . . . Leah could feel the bile rising in her then, Leah noticed one of the newborns fly by, trying to escape into the woods. Whipping her head around quickly, Leah could see no one going after the thing, so going on instinct, she charged into the woods after it.

The battle was starting to quiet down, and dejectedly Paul took a moment to look around. The adrenaline was still pumping and he was disappointed to find no one else left to fight. The Cullens had held their own and killed almost as many newborns as the wolves. Paul did a quick head count and could see six other wolves besides himself. _Wait, who was missing? Shit . . . it was Leah! _

Tuned into the wolf network, suddenly Paul heard Jacob, _"Leah! Wait!" _then he saw him fly by on his way into the woods.

Paul turned to follow and suddenly felt arms come around him from behind to lock him in a vice-like grip that lifted him off of the ground. Fighting hard to break the hold, Paul heard a rib break, then just as quickly as he was picked up, he surprisingly hit the ground on all fours. Whipping his head around, he saw the big Cullen, Emmett, snap the head off of the newborn leech that had grabbed him. Emmett looked over at Paul with a grin and a wink then quipped, "You're welcome, mutt," before he blurred out of sight.

Barking out his reluctant thanks, Paul realized he would never live that one down. As he turned to run into the woods where Jacob had disappeared, he suddenly felt a pain shoot through him that he knew wasn't from his broken rib. That howl had come from Jacob!

Sam heard it, too, and the two of them flew into the woods to find Jacob in a death grip of one of the newborns. They both leapt at the same time, pulling the vampire down and watching as Jacob slipped from the death grip to hit the ground with a thud. Paul and Sam made quick work of the vampire and when it was dead, Sam turned to ask Embry, who was now leaning over Jake, _"How is he?" _

_"He's in a lot of pain. I'm sure there are broken bones," _Embry answered. He and Quil had followed Paul and Sam.

Paul left them to trot over to Leah, who was standing a little ways away from everyone. _"Leah? What happened? Are you hurt?"_

Her wolf head shook back and forth slowly. _"I saw it try to escape, and I knew we couldn't let that happen, so, I went after it and had just reached it and had it's leg in my mouth when Jacob showed up out of nowhere, pushing me out of the way. I had him, Paul! There was no reason for Jake to come in like some fucking super hero!"_ As she explained, Paul saw it all played out before him in Leah's mind.

_"You knew not to go off on your own! I told you to stay with me. Why didn't you at least let me know where you were going?"_

_"I don't know. I just reacted, OK? I don't need this right now, Paul. Just back off!" _Then Leah added a snarl to show she meant business so Paul turned back to see if he could help with Jacob.

The rest of the wolves had formed a circle around Jacob then Sam ordered, _"Jared! Get Carlisle. Tell him we need a doctor!" _Jared was still in the clearing helping with the cleanup and immediately stopped what he was doing to find Carlisle. In less than a minute, Carlisle was there, pushing through the circle to get to Jacob. He knelt down next to him and gently felt along his ribs and his legs. Sam phased back into his human form and quickly pulled on his shorts to kneel beside Carlisle and explain, "One of the newborns had him in a hold."

"Yes, I can tell," Carlisle commented as he continued his examination. "Most of the bones on the right side of his body are broken." Carlisle looked up at Sam and ordered, "Take him home and I will get there as soon as I can. We have a little problem that I need to take care of first. See if you can get him to phase back so I can set the bones to heal properly."

Sam nodded his understanding then thanked Carlisle who stood up and left. "OK, phase back so we can carry Jacob home." One by one, the pack phased back into human form and pulled on their pants . . . all except Leah who stood back watching in horror as they all lifted Jake onto their shoulders to carry him home.

As she trailed along behind them she heard Seth. _"Leah? Is he OK? Is Jake OK?"_

_"I don't know. We're heading home now. He has a lot of broken bones." _Leah was overcome with guilt that he was hurt because of her. _Still, he shouldn't have come charging in like that._ Her thoughts were all jumbled along with her emotions.

The pack finally arrived back at the small little red house where Jacob lived with his father, Billy, and Sam quickly filled him in on what happened. They laid Jake down on the grass and Embry knelt down to talk quietly to him until finally Jake phased back into his human body. They all grimaced at the cry of pain that came from Jake as he phased. "Let's get him inside, now," Billy ordered.

The pack picked him up and somehow got him inside and laid him onto his small bed as Leah stayed outside to phase in private and after dressing, she took to pacing back and forth in front of the door trying to will herself to go inside. "Are you OK, Leah?" She turned around to see Seth standing there. He had run home first to tell their mom the fight was over.

"I'm fine," was her short answer. Then she noticed all of the bruises and cuts all over her brother. "I thought you were staying out of the fight. Why do you look like this? What happened to you?"

Seth actually shot her a grin, as Leah narrowed her eyes. "It's a long story. I'll tell you later, OK?" Then he surprised her by pulling her in for a hug and Leah realized how relieved she was that he was safe.

"Yeah, OK. I can't wait to hear this one," Leah mumbled into his chest.

Seth let her go as Paul walked out of the house. Paul looked at Seth and told him Jake was in his room and they were waiting on Carlisle to come and treat him. Seth nodded and glanced back at Leah before he opened the door and walked into the house.

Paul stepped over to Leah and reached out for her, but quickly she sidestepped him. "Don't Paul."

"What? You went through hell back there. I'm here, just as a friend, OK?" Paul stated as he stepped closer and gently pulled Leah's chin up so he could see her eyes. As Leah looked up at Paul, he could see her raw emotion rising to the surface . . . she was going to lose it soon and he knew she would be embarrassed to do in front of everyone, so he took her hand saying, "Come on," as he led her around the house to the back along the tree line where they could have some privacy. Sitting down on the ground to lean up against a fallen tree, Paul pulled Leah down with him then proceeded to haul her up against him and order, "Now, let it go."

Leah let herself lean against him and felt him flinch just a little. She now saw that Paul had bruises all over him from the fight, and a few scratches, but she knew they would heal quickly and be gone soon. She finally relaxed and let the emotion that was so close to the surface bubble over. The tears began to flow before she could stop them, and soon they turned into sobs.

Relief, guilt, horror, all the adrenaline that had run through her . . . everything came pouring out as the sobs wracked her body. Paul held her close, even though his broken rib was throbbing. It would heal soon, though, so he wasn't worried about it, but Leah . . . he hoped this wouldn't scar her.

Paul let her cry it out as he tried hard to let his own emotions out. His own relief that none of his worries materialized . . . especially losing a pack member, was immense. They had fought proudly as one pack and come home as one, just as Sam had predicted. Finally, Leah sat up and wiped her eyes. "God, I hate that. I feel like a fucking baby."

Paul chuckled as he told her, "It's more common than you think, although none of us will admit to it. After all that adrenaline leaves your system, you feel kind of a let down."

"I don't see you blubbering all over the place."

"Would that make you feel better? You want me to squirt some tears?"

Leah gave him a small smile. "Maybe."

Paul smiled back then crumpled his face up and gave his best fake crying impression.

"Really? That's the best you can do?"

Paul's laughter floated around Leah and actually made her feel a little better as he squeezed her close with one, wincing as he said, "Yep. That's all you're getting from me."

Leah rolled her eyes at him then reached out to touch his chest. "You have a broken rib, don't you?"

"It's not that bad," Paul assured her. "It'll heal."

Leah traced the bruise on Paul's rib cage lightly with her finger then looked up into his face as she brushed her fingers over the scratches there then surprised him by leaning over and lightly kissing them.

"Leah?" Paul breathed as her lips moved over his jawline, not sure where she was going with this, or if he should let her continue. But it felt so good that he stayed quiet and didn't move. Pulling away to look into Paul's eyes, Leah found herself leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips_._

_"No!"_ Paul's mind cried out. _She's vulnerable right now . . . he shouldn't take advantage of that. _He reminded himself he didn't want to be more than friends. But all of that wasn't registering as her lips moved over his and he found his tongue had a will of it's own as it brushed lightly against Leah's bottom lip.

Leah immediately opened her mouth to him and before Paul knew it, they were full-on making out with an intensity that took his breath away. His hands found their way under her tank top to touch the skin on her back as she wrapped her arms around his neck and entwined her fingers into his hair.

Neither of them could stop, even when they needed to take in air. Paul finally left her mouth to let his lips travel to her earlobe, down her neck and then when he put a soft bite on her shoulder, he felt her shudder with desire. His hands moved up taking her tank top with them, pulling it over her head and dropping it to the ground.

Leah quickly moved to his lap to straddle him and Paul felt his erection twitch as she brushed up against it. Her breast was right in front of his face and she pushed closer, daring him to take the tip into his mouth. Her back arched and she moaned as Paul flicked it with his tongue then nipped and sucked on it as his hands ran up and down her bare back, loving how soft her skin felt on his rough hands.

"Leah!" they heard Seth call out. "Leah? You still out here?"

Leah's body immediately stiffened against Paul as she pulled away. "Shit," she muttered as she reached down and grabbed her tank top, throwing it on over her head as she moved off of Paul's lap, adding, "Sorry. My little brother has rotten timing." Then standing, Leah hollered, "I'm out here!"

As Leah stood, Paul quickly tried to adjust himself before he joined her. His member was throbbing with wanting her . . . apparently he couldn't turn it off as quickly as she could. But maybe it was good that they had been interrupted. Last night was one thing, but to do it again . . . he wasn't so sure that was wise. Paul made sure to stand behind Leah so Seth wouldn't see the huge bulge in his pants.

Seth jogged up to them and shot Paul a look. Apparently he was wiser than Leah suspected. "What? Is it Jake?" Leah asked anxiously.

"Carlisle is here to treat him," Seth explained. "He is going to reset the bones and he wanted us to be prepared for Jake to scream. He's giving him morphine, but he's not sure how much to give him."

Leah nodded and glanced at Paul who asked, "He's going to be alright though, isn't he?"

"Carlisle thinks so. He knows we heal quickly, but even so, he thinks it might take a couple of days." Then he looked at Leah and asked, "Are you alright? You look like you've been crying."

"I wish everyone would quit asking me that! Yes, I'm fine. Go back inside. We'll be there in a minute," Leah spouted, letting her frustration get the best of her.

"Fine, whatever," Seth muttered as he turned and jogged toward the house.

Leah turned to Paul and ran her hand over her face to push the hair from her eyes. "I know I should probably stay, but I don't think I can. Knowing it's my fault he's in all that pain . . . "

"Hey, stop that," Paul said as he pulled her close, resting his chin on top of her head. "Jake knew what he was doing and what he was getting into. It's a chance we all take. Come on, I'll stay with you," Paul offered and with his arm still around her shoulders, they walked slowly toward the house.

Just then, they heard a scream come from the house that cut right through both of them. Leah jumped and swore, "Fuck! Was that Jake?" Paul nodded and pulled Leah closer. "I have to get out of here, Paul. I can't do this," she cried as she suddenly turned and sprinted toward the woods.

"Shit," Paul muttered as he took off after her. Leah was flying and it was hard to keep up with her since becoming a wolf, she had always prided herself on being the fastest, but he quickly realized where they were going and followed the best he could. Leah reached the cliff top first and threw herself down on the ground. Paul finally made it there and plopped down beside her hating to see the tears streaming down her face. "I hate this, Paul. I hate that this happened."

"Leah, he'll be OK. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Her head whipped toward him in anger as Leah spit out, "Would he have charged in like that if it had been you? Or Jared? Or Sam? NO! He did this because it was me and I'm a lowly girl. I had that fucking leech! I could have taken care of it! But he had to come charging in and now . . . and now. . . " The tears took over again and her voice left her.

"I would like to think that he would have come to the rescue if it were me or Sam or Jared. That's what we do for each other, Leah. Hell, I had one of the _Cullens_ save my ass today. You don't think that's hard to swallow?"

Seeing her look of curiosity, Paul told her what happened. "Of course it had to be the big oaf. He even winked at me, Leah! He winked at me! I'll never be able to live this one down," Paul finished in disgust.

Leah surprised herself by laughing. Paul looked over at her and then joined in as he reached out and touched her cheek. "Look, it's all behind us now. Done and over. Everyone made it home, and Jake will heal in no time. A couple of days from now, we'll all be back to our dull, boring lives."

Leah smiled at that. "Yeah, I guess." Then she turned her head toward the water and looked out at the waves. The sky was gray, and the wind was picking up . . . she was sure she could feel rain coming. "I suppose I should get home soon. I know Mom was really worried. She needs to see that Seth and I are OK."

"Yeah, I should do the same. Grandma was worried, too."

Yet, they sat there, neither of them wanting to be the first to move. "Paul? About what happened, or almost happened back there . . . I think it was all the emotion, I don't know . . . "

"It's OK, Leah. I know. Last night was . . . last night. It was great, and we both really needed it, but I'm not so sure it's such a good idea to let it happen again, you know?"

Leah bit at her lip as she turned back to the water. "Yeah, I know." She fell quiet and Paul wished they were in wolf form so he could hear what she was thinking as she wasn't letting it show. _Was she upset with him? Did she really understand? _Finally she turned to him and smiled. "Thanks for watching out for me today, and for after . . . letting me cry all over you. You've turned out to be so different than I thought you were. Thanks for being my friend."

Paul let a smile come to his face as he said, "You're welcome. I'll always be there for ya, buddy."

Leah stood up and gathered her hair out of her face then secured it with the elastic band. Paul joined her and they stood there just looking at each other. "Is it OK if I give you a hug or will you slug me?"

"Sure. But I might slug you anyway," Leah answered flippantly.

Paul reached out to draw Leah into his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder, soaking up his strength for a moment then she stepped back and leaned in to put a soft kiss on his bare chest. "See ya."

"Yep," Paul returned with a smile. "You know where I live."

Then Leah turned and jogged into the woods as Paul stood there watching. After a moment, he took in a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair as he turned to face the water and thought how close he had come to having her again. His eyes closed and he allowed himself to think back over what had happened between them last night. A vision ran through his head of how beautiful Leah had looked in the moonlight laying beneath him . . . _her black hair spread out behind her head, her dark eyes shining with desire . . . _Paul opened his eyes and quickly pushed that memory away. He knew he didn't love her, he was just lusting. She had been through enough with Sam, he didn't want to add to it.

As Paul turned and made his way into the forest, he wondered if he would ever really love someone. He hated the idea of giving up what little freedom he had. _To be tied to one person for the rest of your life . . ._ then Leah's face floated into his mind as she looked this morning when he opened his eyes to find her lying next to him and he found himself smiling. Maybe he could get used to waking up to the same person everyday, if the right girl ever came along.

Paul shook his head and began jogging. He felt the need to get home and see his grandma. At least he had one person who would be happy to see him.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

IF I FELL 

Paul was right. Life went back to normal and it was like the big battle never even happened. As he stood there in the grocery aisle, slapping price stickers on cans then placing them carefully on the shelf he smiled as he thought how ridiculous his life was. One day, he's ripping apart vampires with his teeth, the next he's standing here in the store aisle, wearing a green apron, mindlessly lining up cans.

Ruth had been elated when Paul walked through the door. She fussed over his scratches and he allowed her to dab at them with an anti-septic even though he knew they would be gone in no time, just like his broken rib had mostly healed. Paul showered and put on clean clothes then laid on the couch for some much-needed rest while Ruth made him his favorite dinner, meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and he had to force himself to leave some for the rest of them.

Tyler was itching to ask him where he had been and why he had the bruises and scratches, but surprisingly, he kept quiet. Travis barely noticed, as he was in the middle of telling Paul all about finding a garter snake in the garden. As Travis chattered on, Paul smiled, and for the first time in a long time, he was actually glad to be home.

Leah was quite the opposite from Paul as she was struggling with her feelings of guilt and inadequacy . . . running the scenario through her mind over and over, deciding she should have acted faster and more aggressively so Jacob wouldn't have had to come to her rescue.

Seth finally told her about how he had taken out some vampire named Riley as Edward killed the red-head. Leah sat there in disbelief as her little brother told her all about pretending to be hurt then Bella slicing her wrist with a rock like the Third Wife in the legend that Billy had told them around the bonfire. His eyes lit up as he talked about tearing Riley apart and helping Edward to pile up the body parts so Edward could light the pile on fire.

"So look who got to be a hero," Leah said finally as Seth finished his story with a beaming smile. "And here I thought you would be safe sitting out of the big fight."

"Yeah, whatever," Seth shrugged, a little embarrassed at being called a hero.

"Did you tell Mom that story?"

"Uh, no. You think I want her to beat the crap out of me for putting myself in danger? Even though it's what we do? Hell, no."

Leah chuckled as she nodded in understanding . . . you did not want to piss off Sue Clearwater. It wasn't pretty. Then Leah sobered as she asked, "Seth? Did you ever feel . . . afraid?"

"Hell, yeah! But, I don't know, I knew that Bella was in trouble if I didn't help . . . and I guess the wolf just kind of took over."

That's how Leah had felt, too. _Like the wolf just took over. _Leah tapped her brother on the knee and said, "I'm proud of you, little brother. You did good."

Seth had to do a double take. _Is this my sister? The bitchy girl that never had a good word for anyone?_

"Stop looking at me like that. I can be nice if I want to."

"Well, gee, thanks," Seth smiled. "I'm glad you felt like being nice to me today. Maybe you can feel that way again sometime."

"Maybe. If you don't annoy me."

"Sure, I'll just stop breathing."

They shared a laugh then Seth trotted upstairs to his room to take a nap. Leah pushed herself off of the couch to walk over to the window and stare out into the woods as she bit at her thumbnail. It had been two days now and she hadn't been to see Jacob yet. She knew she should. Seth had kept her updated on his condition, and she knew that Jake was healing and that the vamp doctor declared he would be just fine.

Finally Leah decided to take a walk to try and sort through her feelings. Before she realized it, her feet had taken her into town and she was standing in front of the little grocery store where Paul worked. With a sigh, she opened the door and went inside where she spotted Paul in Aisle 3, putting cans of green beans on the shelf. Paul had noticed her walk in, but kept working until she was standing right in front of him. "Hey. What's up?" he asked her as he placed another can on the shelf.

"Not much. Just out for a walk," Leah shrugged quietly. Paul glanced up and could see she had something on her mind.

"Really? And you just happened to be walking through the grocery store? Missed me, didn't ya?" Paul said with a wink. They hadn't seen each other since they each left the cliff top on the day of the newborn fight.

Leah rolled her eyes then pulled out her sarcasm to retort, "Oh yes, Paul. I've been at home pining away for you."

"Yeah, happens alot to the girls around here. There's just not enough Pauly to go around," Paul said with a grin.

"OK, where's your bathroom? Or do you want me to vomit right here?"

Holding up his hand, Paul cried out, "Don't do that! I would have to be the one to mop it up, and I hate mopping up puke." Leah tried to hide her smile at that as Paul put the last can on the shelf and picked up a couple of empty boxes. "Come on. Pick up that last box and follow me."

Leah did as Paul asked and followed him into the back room of the little store where it was rather dark and smelled like produce then he dropped the boxes to the floor and took the one she held and added it to the pile. "So talk. What's bugging you?"

Leah perched herself on a milk crate as Paul started breaking down the boxes. "I haven't gone over to see Jake yet. I keep trying, but for some reason, I keep chickening out. God, I'm so pathetic," she sighed as dropped her head into her hands.

"I know, but you're cute, so I keep you around," Paul teased.

"Gee, thanks," Leah mumbled in her hands.

"Alright, I'm almost done here. I clock out in 15 minutes. How about if I go with you? Will that help?"

Leah looked up at him and feeling like such a baby, she muttered, "Yes."

Paul smiled and mussed her hair like he did Travis. "OK. I'll finish with these boxes then we can go."

Leah smoothed her hair back into place then sat there and watched him work, all the time feeling really stupid knowing she should be able to do this on her own. She knew she needed to see Jacob and apologize for running off on her own, although she still felt he was partially to blame for jumping in like he did.

Paul startled her out of her thoughts with, "OK, let's go!" Leah stood up and walked with him out the back door and to his car where they climbed in and Paul started it up and threw it in gear. "You mind if I stop at the gas station first? I got paid today and I need gas."

"Fine by me," Leah answered.

Paul pulled into the one gas station in town, and got out to pump the gas as Leah climbed out then asked, "You want something to drink?"

"Sure. Anything is fine."

Leah walked inside the store and filled up two large cups with Pepsi from the fountain machine, paid the clerk and walked back out to hand one to Paul. "Thanks."

"It's the least I can do for you offering to go with me and hold my hand."

"I don't remember saying anything about hand-holding. Is that your sly way of saying you want to touch me?" Paul teased.

Leah shot him a look. "Would you cut it out?"

Paul laughed at her as he said, "I'm just trying to lighten your mood, but I can see that's not happening. So, fine. We'll be grouchy." He contorted his face into a grouchy look and then stuck his tongue out at her.

Leah finally smiled as she smacked him on the arm. "OK, OK, I get it. Let's just get this over with," she whined as she climbed into the car to sip her drink while Paul paid for the gas. Paul hopped back into the car and then started the engine and turned out of the gas station to make the quick drive over to the Black's, where he put the car in park, pulled the keys out of the ignition then turned to Leah. "You ready?"

With a quick bob of her head, Leah reluctantly crawled out of the car. Paul met her at the front door and reached down to take her hand and give it a squeeze. Leah smiled at him as he opened the door and walked inside the house, dragging her behind him. Billy was in the small kitchen and greeted them as they strode in.

"Hey Paul, Leah. How are you?"

"Good, Billy, good. How's the patient?" Paul returned.

"Driving me crazy. He hates being laid up. Most of his ribs are healed, and so is the arm, but his leg is still in a brace. He could use some company."

Paul held out his arm to invite Leah to walk down the hall in front of him, so she moved past him and made her way to Jacob's room where she stopped at the doorway and said quietly, "Hey."

Jake looked up from the car magazine he was reading to answer her greeting. "Hey, Leah."

Leah moved slowly into the room as Paul stood in the doorway to say, "Hey, Jake. Still laying here milking everyone's sympathy?"

"Yeah, Paul. I'm loving all the attention," Jacob answered sarcastically. "That's why I let that vampire kick my ass."

Paul chuckled. "Good one."

Leah stood awkwardly beside Jacob's bed, again biting at her thumbnail until Paul cleared his throat and gave her a look that told her to start talking. Finally she took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, Jake. If I hadn't gone off by myself, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. I hate that you got hurt." She stopped to pull up a chair and plop down before saying, "But let me ask you something. Would you have done the same if it was Paul that had gone after that vampire? Or Embry? Or anyone other than me?"

"Leah, don't do this. It's not about you being a girl."

"Yes, it is, Jake! All of you," she shot Paul a look, "treat me differently. Like I can't pull my weight. I could have gotten that bloodsucker without your help, Jacob. If only you would have let me try."

"Fine, Leah. Next time I see you run head-on into trouble, I'll just let you go. Then you can be the one in the bed with the broken bones. Is that what you want? Will that make you feel like one of the guys?" Leah didn't answer. "And yes, I would have run to help Paul, or Embry or Sam or anyone else cause that's what we do, Leah. We trust each other. We help each other. That's something you need to learn."

_Ouch._ Leah looked up to the ceiling and sighed. "OK, Jake. I get it. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't come here to yell at you. I really came here to say . . . thank you."

"Whoa, dude! An 'I'm sorry' AND a 'thank you' from Leah Clearwater all in the same day. That's a first," Paul said with a grin.

"Hey, no comment from you, you ass," Leah shot at him.

Paul just continued to smile as Leah turned back to Jacob. "I'm glad you were there, and I owe you, OK?"

Jacob smiled and held out his hand. "You're welcome. And, I'm sure you'll be there for me someday."

Leah finally flashed a smile as she shook Jake's hand.

"Awwww, can you feel the love in this room? You two are going to make me cry." Paul wiped his eyes like he was crying.

"Get him out of here, will ya?" Jake said to Leah.

Leah stood up and pushed back the chair. "Yeah, he does tend to be annoying." Then she looked at Paul as she added, "But he's cute, so I keep him around."

Paul laughed at that and walked over to the bed to pat Jake's good leg. "Hope you're up and around soon, bro. Take it easy."

"Thanks," Jake said as he picked up his magazine. "See you around."

As they walked out of Jake's house and got back into Paul's car, he asked Leah,"So, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," Leah admitted. "Thanks for coming with me though. I hate being such a fucking baby."

Paul started the car and drove the short distance to Leah's house where he parked the car and looked at her with a grin. "So, you think I'm cute, huh?"

"Yes. But only when you're letting your grandma fuss over you. 'Oh Pauly, I made you some meatloaf. Here, Pauly, let me wipe your nose,' " she said in a funny, high voice.

"Hey, you leave my grandma out of this Clearwater," Paul said in mock anger.

Leah laughed and shot out of the car and made a run for the house. Paul bolted after her and grabbed her from behind before she got to the front door, picking her up and holding her as she struggled. "Put me down you douche bag!"

"Not til you apologize for making fun of my grandma."

"OK, OK, I'm sorry, now put me down!"

Paul set her on her feet, only to reach around and tickle her in the ribs. Leah screamed and smacked at him until Seth opened the door to yell out, "What the hell is going on out here? Could you two act a little more retarded?"

"I can't . . . breathe! Stop!" Leah cried out in between giggles.

Paul finally stopped and let her go only to have her turn on him and smack him hard on the arm. "I HATE to be tickled!"

"Then you remember that the next time you make fun of my grandma," Paul told her with a smile.

Seth muttered, "Fucking idiots," then turned and went back inside.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" Paul asked as Leah was pulling her shirt back down into place.

"No. I'm not that fragile," Leah huffed. "I won't break if you touch me."

Paul leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "No, but you do moan." Leah stepped back and shot him a shocked look.

Seeing that look, Paul realized she didn't take it like the joke he intended. As Leah backed away from him and turned to go, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm. "Leah, stop. I'm sorry. I was just joking."

Leah's head shook slowly back and forth as she said softly, "That night was . . . " she stopped and closed her eyes for just a moment and when she opened them, he could see he hurt her. "I guess it didn't mean the same to you."

Jerking her arm away, Leah started toward the house again until Paul called out, "Leah, stop! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. God, don't be such a girl!"

That stopped her and Leah whipped around to come back at him with, "Don't do that, Paul. Don't you dare do that." Leah stopped in front of him and poked her finger into his chest. "I am not doing the 'girl' thing here and getting all pissed off because you're not declaring your undying love for me. What happened between us was, very . . . well, I thought it was special, in a way that we took what we needed from each other. Like a bond between us or something . . . oh, I don't know. I just don't want you to joke about it like I was one of the sluts you usually bang in the back of your car."

"Oh, thanks, Leah. That paints a pretty picture of me. That night was special to me, too, OK? I really needed you that night, and you made me feel . . . like you needed me, too. I never had that before. I was just making a sick joke." Stopping to run his hand through his hair, he took a breath then said, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. What happened between us, well, it WAS really hot, you have to admit, but in a really good way, but I . . . I shouldn't have tried to . . ."

Leah smiled as he babbled then stopped him with, "You really suck at apologies, you know that?"

"Look who's talking," Paul snorted.

Leah sighed as she hooked her hair behind her ear then surprised him by asking, "Are you hungry?"

"I'm always hungry," Paul grunted.

"Why don't you come in and I'll make us something to eat. If you can behave, that is."

"I can't promise, but I'll try," Paul replied with a grin.

"OK. Come on, you moron." Leah took his hand and pulled him inside after her.

Seth was lounging on the couch playing a game on his X Box. "You two lovebirds make up?" he asked as they walked in the door.

"Funny, Seth. Just for that, you can make your own damn dinner," Leah grumbled on her way to the kitchen.

"Ooh, smooth move, Exlax," Paul said as he plopped down on the couch next to Seth. "Never piss off the cook." He then leaned over and picked up the other controller from the table. "Halo?"

"Yeah." Seth glanced at him then asked, "So, what am I supposed to think? You two looked awful guilty that day at Jake's when I found you out back all alone."

"Look, I saw that she was about to lose it, so I took her somewhere to break down in private. Leah and I are just friends."

"Whatever. Just don't hurt her like Sam did. I'm not afraid to kick your ass."

Paul chuckled. "OK. If I hurt her, you can kick my ass. But it's not like that, dude. Really."

Seth leaned up and reset the game, saying, "You go first."

"Fuckin' A." Paul started the game and Seth joined in. It had been a long time since Paul just hung out and played a video game. Sometimes he forgot he was just 17. Responsibility made you feel so much older. He found himself relaxing and really enjoying spending time with Seth and decided maybe he should try acting his age more often. 

A few days later, he was working at the store when Jared stopped by at his break time. They were sitting out back while Paul wolfed down a couple of sandwiches. "So did you hear, dude? Quil imprinted."

"What? When?"

"Yesterday. But wait . . . here's the best part. It's Emily's niece, Claire. And . . . she's two," Jared said with a grin as he took a swig of pop while he waited for it to register with Paul.

Paul's eyes grew wide as he asked, "Are you fucking serious? He imprinted on a baby? That's sick, bro." Paul shook his head and took another bite of his sandwich then said, "How does that even work?"

"Sam said that with imprinting, I guess it's up to the girl on what she needs him to be. So with Claire, I guess Quil will just be a big brother or something like that until she grows up. Then, I don't know."

"Man, that's gotta suck. Imprinting is bad enough, but to not even get any sex out of it? That's just fucking wrong."

Jared chortled. "Yeah, I guess." He took another swig of pop then looked at Paul. "Why do you think imprinting is so bad?"

"I don't know, I mean, it's like a prison sentence. You get no choice and you're stuck for life. Not something I really want," Paul shrugged.

"You don't know because you haven't experienced it. It's awesome, dude. Kim is . . . she's everything I want, everything I need. I WANT to be with her. I hate being away from her. And the sex is . . . well, I do feel really bad for Quil on that one," Jared finished with a laugh.

"Listen to you. _'She's everything I want, everything I need.' _She's turned you into a chick."

Jared slugged Paul in the arm. "Shut up, man. I can't wait until you imprint. You'll be a slobbering fool and I will love every minute of it."

"God, if that happens, just shoot me. I will not give up what little freedom I have left to some chick." Paul stood up and threw his trash in the garbage can. "Maybe I'll just stop myself from looking at any girls. Then maybe I can avoid all this imprinting shit."

Jared laughed at that. "Yeah, you, going without a woman? For how long? You're too grouchy when you go without sex. No one can stand to be around you." Paul just rolled his eyes and opened the back door to the store as Jared followed him and said, "You know, you've been pretty agreeable lately. Maybe it was the fight, or . . . do you have a girl on the side I don't know about Pauly?"

Paul stopped and turned around. "What the hell are you talking about Jared?"

"You. You've been . . . kind of easy going lately, and . . . you've been hanging out with Leah a lot." Then Jared stopped as he realized what he was saying. "Are you . . . and Leah . . . are you banging her?"

"Don't talk about her like that, Jared. I will pop you one right in the face," Paul said as he stared Jared down, his nostrils flared in anger.

Jared threw his hands up. "Whoa, dude! OK, OK, I'm sorry. But I guess that just answers my question."

Paul shook his head and turned around. _Shit. He was trying so hard to keep what happened between him and Leah a secret. _He sighed and hung his head, his hands resting on his hips. Finally he looked up at Jared. "Look, it happened one time, the night before the big fight. We both ended up on a cliff in the middle of the night, worried about the next day, and . . . before we realized what was happening . . . " he stopped and took a deep breath. "You can't breathe a word of this to ANYONE, Jared. You got that? If Sam found out . . . "

"Yeah, I know, I get that. I promise, dude, OK?" Paul backed off then Jared asked, "So, you and her?"

"Just friends. That's it. I like hanging out with her," Paul shrugged. "She's not as bitchy as she used to be. Sometimes, she's kind of funny. That's all."

Jared just grinned. "Yeah. That's all."

Paul whipped his head to look at Jared and saw the grin on his face. "Jared, I mean it! So help me . . . " he said as he started to move toward Jared.

Jared just laughed and ran out the back door yelling, "Your secret is safe with me, bro!" behind him.

Paul slammed the door and ran his hand through his hair. He hoped to hell that Jared kept his mouth shut. 

At the end of the week, they were all called to a pack meeting where Sam let them know that Jacob was gone. "What? Where?" Paul asked.

"He needed to get away, so I let him," Sam replied. "I don't know how long he'll be gone, but we need to give him some space."

Paul was sure this had to do with Bella. He hadn't phased for awhile because of work and he felt out of the loop, but he remembered hearing something about how Bella was going to marry the bloodsucker. He glanced at Leah who had been very quiet and distant for the last couple of days. _She knew. And she looked guilty for some reason. _Paul decided after the pack meeting, he would corner her and find out what the hell was going on.

It was Brady and Collin's first 'official' pack meeting and they looked like a couple of lost little kids. Sam was talking directly to them when he said, "Look around you guys. This is your family. You need anything, you can count on any one of us. We'll be training you to fight and you'll be working out with all of us at one time or another so you can get to know everyone. Got it?"

Both of them bobbed their heads up and down simultaneously making Paul snicker. Quil jabbed in the ribs to make him stop, which pissed Paul off, so he jabbed back harder. Sam shot them a look and Paul rolled his eyes and sighed. He hated how he always felt like he was back in elementary school, having the teacher give him the evil eye.

Sam went on to set out the patrol schedule for the week then ended the meeting. Paul made a beeline for Leah before she could get away, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the group asking, "So, what do you know about Jake leaving?"

Leah looked up at him and spit out, "Let me go."

"Not until you talk. What's up, Leah?"

Glancing around, Lean answered, "Not here. I can't." Leah hated being here at Sam's house. The only time she came was when she was ordered to.

Paul knew she was in a hurry to get away from Sam's so he suggested, "Come on. Let's go somewhere where we can talk." She relented and they made their way to his car. It was a warm summer night so Paul said, "How about a swim at the beach?"

"I don't carry my bathing suit with me, Paul."

Leaning close, Paul said with a sly smile, "I've seen you naked, Leah. I think I can handle it."

Leah tried to hide her smile as Paul pulled her along after him to climb into the car. Paul started the engine and took off toward First Beach then asked,"So, what do you know about Jake leaving? Spill it."

Leah looked out the open window and sighed. "Not much," she answered quietly as she tried to contain her hair that was flying around her face in the wind coming in from the window.

"Yeah right. I could see the guilt written all over your face back there. Why do you feel guilty about Jake leaving?"

Leah rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. "Because I found him one night, sitting alone, drowning in his self-pity and I . . . kind of let him have it."

Paul grinned at that. "Good for you. Someone had to call him on it. I'm sick of feeling his puppy-love for that chick."

"Yeah, that's what I told him. I yelled at him because I had a dream about kissing Bella! You know how gross that is?"

"Sounds hot to me. Tell me all about it," Paul told her with a grin. Leah shot him a look that told him she didn't need his sick sense of humor right now, so he mumbled, "Sorry. Go on."

"Anyway, I basically told him to suck it up and get over it." Paul whipped his head to look at her and Leah gave a harsh laugh. "Yeah, I know, me telling someone that. I get the irony." Paul chuckled and she went on, "But I was too hard on him. I let my bitchiness come out, and I said things that I now regret. I know how much I hated it when you yelled at me and told me basically the same thing. Only I wasn't as nice as you were. I said something I really shouldn't have . . ."

"What?"

"We all know that she's made up her mind to . . . be one of them . . . and I shot off my big mouth and said something like _'he'll probably kill her anyway.'_ Not my proudest moment."

"Oh, OK. Now I get it. You know he didn't run off because of what you said, right?"

"Of course, I know that. He was going to go no matter what anyone said. I just feel bad because . . . well, out of anyone, I know just how he feels. I could have been more understanding, and let him talk about his feelings instead of just being . . . such a bitch. He got back at me though, so . . . whatever," Leah finished softly as she turned again to look out the window.

Paul parked the car in the parking lot at First Beach then shut off the engine. "Look, Leah, letting him talk about his feelings wouldn't really have changed anything. You know what that's like. I think he needs to run, to get away. Maybe that's what's best for him right now."

Leah shrugged at him. "I guess." She didn't sound so convinced.

With that, they both got out of the car and walked toward the beach. _It's such a beautiful warm night,_ Leah thought as she looked up at all the stars remembering how she used to love coming to the beach, especially on a night like this. She and Sam had spent all of their free time at the beach in the summers when they were together. Now she squeezed her eyes shut and tried hard to push those painful memories away. But with the smell of the ocean and the sound of the surf . . . they cut right through her. Opening her eyes, Leah said anxiously, "This was a bad idea. I need to go."

As Leah turned away, Paul grabbed her hand. "Hey, wait! What's wrong?"

"I can't be here, Paul. It's too hard." Paul realized then she was thinking of all the time she spent here with Sam. They had all hung out here in the summers . . . before . . . Paul put his hands on Leah's upper arms and said, "Leah. You will never be able to put him behind you if you don't face the memories. You're letting them have too much power over you. Be here with me. Make different memories. At least try."

Paul's eyes bore into hers, willing her to change her mind . . . finally Leah nodded slightly and said quietly, "I'll try."

Paul smiled as he praised her, "Good girl. Come on. Let's hit the water." He was already pulling off his t-shirt as he walked toward the water and Leah sighed. _Skinny-dipping with Paul? Probably not the best idea . . . but, what the hell. _

Leah followed Paul to the water's edge where he threw down his shirt, kicked off his shoes, then whipped off his shorts and walked into the slowly lapping waves. She shamed herself by admiring his ass as he walked away from her as she had to admit, he did have a great body. Then taking a deep breath, Leah pulled her shirt off over her head and let it drop to the sand then pushed her shorts down over her hips and stepped out of them.

Paul grinned as Leah walked into the water wearing her bra and bikini underwear. "Chicken shit," he said as she stood beside him.

Leah just laughed and dove into the waves then pulled through the water with ease, enjoying the feeling of the cool water flowing over her body. When her lungs called for air, she surfaced and treaded water as she looked around for Paul. He was nowhere to be seen as she turned around, scanning the area. Then she felt a tug on her underwear and before she could grab them, Paul had them off, and then his head broke the water's surface and she could see a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Give me those right now, Paul," Leah said evenly. "Those are my favorite pair."

Paul just laughed as he held them out of her reach. "Awww, who knew you would wear panties with little frogs and peace signs all over them. They're so cute!"

"Paul, I mean it!" Leah dove at him and tried to grab them from his hand, but he was quicker than she gave him credit for. Paul swam hard for the shore and she swam just as hard to try and beat him, but he got there first, which really pissed her off, then he stood on the shore and held her underwear out to her.

"OK, I'm sorry, Leah. Here they are. Come and get them."

With a furious glare, Leah stayed in the water, using it as cover. "I hate you, Paul."

"Yeah, sure you do. Come on. Show me some of that Leah Clearwater pride. Dare me to look at you."

Leah was fuming now. She wanted nothing more than to knock that fucking smile right off his pompous face. Gathering up all the courage she had, Leah stood straight and and chinup, walked proudly toward the beach.

Paul watched her with pride, glad that she had taken his challenge. Not only so he could see her hot body all wet and glistening in the moonlight, but he loved to see her confident and strong.

When Leah reached the beach, she glided over to Paul, grabbed the underwear out of his hand then pulled her arm back and hit him in the jaw with all the strength she could muster. It pleased her to see him knocked flat on his ass.

"What the fuck, Leah?" Paul shouted as he sat up and rubbed his jaw. He hadn't seen that coming at all.

"Maybe you'll learn that I'm not the shy little girl you think I am," she huffed as she bent down to pick up her underwear then add, "And I will be the judge of when and where my underwear comes off, thank you."

Paul had to smile at that. _Damn, but she was hot right now. _

As Leah turned to walk away, she awkwardly tripped over Paul's foot, landing with a thud beside him on the sand. Rolling to her back, she turned her head to say evenly, "Don't you dare laugh."

"Too late!" Paul cackled, his deep, rich laugher shaking his whole body. Leah reached over to smack him, but suddenly, Paul caught her arm then held it down over her head as he loomed over her, is laughter dying as he stared down into Leah's big, brown eyes.

Leah watched in anticipation as Paul moved slowly closer. They had both agreed this wasn't a good idea, and yet she found she was powerless to stop him. His lips met hers and her anger suddenly turned to arousal.

Paul took Leah's arm and pulled it up over her head to join the other and he held them both with one hand. Leah found this really sexy and let a soft moan escape into Paul's mouth. He was resting on top of her now, kissing her lips, then along her jawline to her throat. Leah tilted her head slightly to allow him better access.

Paul's free hand slid slowly down the side of Leah's body to stop at her bare hip then he let go of her wrists and moved his hand down to tangle into her hair, amazed at how beautiful she looked in the moonlight, her jet black hair still wet and glossy, spread on the sand around her head, her eyes black with desire.

Then something hit him. _He had never for a second ever thought like this about any of the other girls he had ever had sex with._ _Why now? Why Leah? _It unnerved him to the point of stopping, again, something he had never done. Paul quickly sat up and ran his hand through his hair as Leah sat up beside him asking, "Paul? What's wrong?"

"Um, I'm sorry. I just remembered that we had decided that maybe this wasn't a good idea. I shouldn't have . . .

Leah surprised herself by saying softly. "It's OK,"her fingers skimming his shoulder and then down his back.

Paul turned to look at her. "I don't know."

Leah just smiled and put a soft kiss on his shoulder which Paul found very sexy. Then she leaned forward to kiss his cheek, then his chin, until finally, Leah kissed his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck. When he felt her tongue glide along his bottom lip, Paul realized he was quickly losing what little resolve he had. He broke away to smile at her and whisper, "Leah, you are making it very difficult for me to remain a gentleman."

"Yeah, what's your point?" Leah whispered back as she nipped at his shoulder with her teeth.

It was more than he could take. Paul smiled as he pushed Leah back onto the sand saying, "Just remember, you were the one . . . "

"Just shut up and kiss me," Leah said as she pulled his head down toward her where she smashed her lips against his. As they kissed, they rolled on the sand, each of them trying to dominate the other. Somewhere, Leah's bra had disappeared and Paul's hand was now playing with her breast, gently at first, just grazing it, then taking the tip between his fingers and rolling it. Leah's back came off of the sand as she arched it in ecstasy.

Leah shoved him off of her and onto his back then proceeded to climb on top to straddle him. Paul smiled as she leaned forward to allow him to suck her nipple into his mouth and tease it with his tongue. "Oh, Paul . . . oh that feels so good," Leah sighed.

Paul smiled as he felt her wetness on his stomach, loving that he could make her do that.

Leah slid down to allow herself access to Paul's lips, kissing them with a controlled precision . . . letting her tongue dart slowly in and out as he hands grazed over her ass. After awhile, she couldn't take it . . . she wanted him, now. Sitting up and looking into Paul's eyes, she hovered over him for a moment then slid down onto him, taking in every inch, exhaling, "Oh. My. God."

Paul smiled as he watched . . . Leah had never looked as beautiful or as sexy as she did right now. He was mesmerized, watching as she moved, slowly at first then faster and faster as she found just the right spot . . . her head thrown back, her face was lit up with excitement as her climax was building. Leah felt the explosion as wave after wave of pure enjoyment passed over her, holding her captive, until finally she collapsed on Paul's chest and tried to catch her breath.

"That was amazing," Paul whispered.

Leah laughed and answered, "You have no idea."

Paul rolled her over so he was on top. "Yeah, but I want to find out," he whispered as he slid inside her and started moving. She was so hot and wet and he was soon lost in the feeling of nothing but Leah all around him, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he drove in and out and then . . . pure bliss. It was like nothing he had ever felt before.

Paul had no idea how long he had been laying there in the sand when he heard, "You know, anyone could come walking along and see us here. Maybe we should get dressed."

Propping himself on his elbows, Paul looked into Leah's eyes and smiled. "I guess. If we have to," he said regrettably. Leah smiled back as he rolled off of her and suddenly, he felt so . . . so strange. A warmth creeped through him as he looked at her . . .

"Um, I'm going to dip into the water real quick first," Paul muttered as he got up and walked into the waves to dive in, feeling like he needed some space from her as he was suddenly filled with all kind of new emotions . . . it was starting to freak him out. _What the hell is going on here? It's just sex . . . why am I freaking out? Calm the fuck down, Paul._

Paul swam a little and by the time he walked back on shore, Leah was dressed and trying to comb through her hair with her fingers. Looking down on the sand where he had left his clothes, Paul found that they were now missing. He pulled his gaze to Leah, who sat there with a very smug look on her face.

"Hmmm, my clothes have gone missing. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Leah gave her best attempt to look innocent, but she couldn't do it for long. She broke out laughing as he stood there naked in front of her.

"Hey, it's OK with me. If you want to stare at my hot naked body, go for it." He did a couple of wrestler poses for her, flexing his muscles with a grin on his face.

"Oh, fine. Here," Leah said with disgust as she reached behind her and threw his clothes at him. "How's your jaw?" she then asked smugly.

Smiling as he pulled on his shorts, Paul plopped down beside her in the sand to answer, "Still hurts. You pack a mean right hook." He ran his hand over it and winced.

"Aw, poor Pauly. Here, let me kiss it," Leah said softly as she leaned over to put a gentle kiss on his jaw as he stared intently. As she pulled away, she smiled and asked, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Paul quickly shook his head to try and clear his mind. "No reason," he answered with a small smile as he threw his t-shirt over his head and pulled it down then laid back on the sand to look up at the sky. "Man, look at all the stars. I love nights like this."

Leah lay down beside him and sighed, "Yeah, me, too."

As they lay there, side by side, quietly enjoying the moment, each lost in their own thoughts, Leah's hand brushed Paul's then she entwined her fingers with his finally breaking their silence by asking, "Paul? What's wrong? Did I do something . . . "

"No. I'm OK, really," he managed to get out. His emotions were running wild with him and he hated feeling so vulnerable. All of a sudden, he felt like a love-sick pup. _Like Jacob_. _Ugh._ He hated this feeling!

Leah rolled to her side to face him. "Really?"

Paul sighed deeply, realizing she wasn't going to let this go. "You know before . . . we talked about this, and kind of agreed that it might not be a good idea to let it happen again. I like being friends with you, Leah. I don't want to fuck that up, you know? Sometimes sex can do that."

"I guess," Leah shrugged, then she was quiet for a moment and Paul hoped that she would let it go. Of course, she didn't. "But what if we both want it? What if we're just two friends who like to have sex?"

Paul smiled and turned his head to look at her. "Yeah, and then what if one of the friends wants more than just sex and the other doesn't?"

"I'm not going to fall in love, you know," Leah told him softly. "I've had enough of that. I don't want to feel that kind of pain ever again," she insisted as she sighed and rolled to her back to stare at the night sky. Leah had managed to push Sam from her mind tonight, here at the beach, where they had spent a lot of happy times. If she could do that here, she was hopeful that she could keep those memories from crushing her. Then she added, "Doesn't mean I want to go without sex."

Paul chuckled at that. He thought it was funny that she thought he was worried about _her _falling in love as he propped himself up on his elbow to look down at her. "You're amazing, Leah," he said softly as he ran the back of his hand gently over Leah's cheek.

Leah looked up at Paul and wished she could see what was going on inside his head right now. She wasn't used to this softer side of Paul. "I'm fine with this Paul. You sure you're OK?"

"I am. Come on, buddy. We better get going. It's getting late." Paul sat up and slipped his shoes on as Leah did the same then he stood up and held his hand out to her.

Taking, Leah stood in front of him as she asked, "You are full of surprises, you know that?"

"Me? No. I'm just a regular guy, Leah. Nothing special about me."

Leah stared into his eyes. "You know, the sad part is, you really believe that. You have no idea how special you are."

Paul rolled his eyes at her then took her hand to lead her towards the car where he unlocked the car door for her and she climbed inside. As he walked around the car, he thought about what Leah had said. _Why would she think I was special? _Shrugging to himself, Paulgot in and started the car.

As they drove, Leah looked out at the night sky and she felt different somehow. Like she had turned a corner. Suddenly she felt a little lighter as she glanced over at Paul and smiled. He was a bundle of surprises . . . she never knew what to expect with him. Leah smiled to herself as she realized that she was very glad to be his "buddy." 

Paul lay awake that night for a long time trying to figure out what happened to him earlier tonight. _He took Leah to the beach to talk and have a little fun, then . . . damn, that was hot! He was no stranger to sex . . . he enjoyed it more than most he thought. But being with someone like Shelia and then being with Leah . . . it was so different. Like polar opposites. _As he looked back on those times he spent with Shelia, he could see now he was just using her for sex. He had an urge, she supplied the relief. Not that she didn't get anything out of it, she did. But, he actually felt a little guilty for the way he had treated her and all of the other girls he had been with. He had treated them all the same.

_But that first time with Leah . . . was really different. They took from each other what they needed at a very stressful time. It wasn't just sex. There was emotion mixed in and that is what was confusing him. Holding Leah that night while they slept, and waking up to look into her eyes first thing in the morning . . ._ _and then tonight, on the beach. Watching her as she . . . _he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. Trying to sleep now was useless.

Paul threw his legs over the edge of the couch to plant his feet on the floor then he pushed himself up and walked out to the kitchen to open the fridge. After a few minutes of staring at the contents inside, he decided he wasn't really hungry and shut the door.

His feet carried him out the back door and across the backyard to a small area they used as a firepit. He plopped down onto an old stump and looked up at the stars. _Tonight had been amazing. Watching Leah as she rode him, her head pitched back as she let her climax build . . . _he shook his head to stop that memory, shifting as his gym shorts got a little tight. _Shit. How could he hide that from the rest of the pack? Especially Sam? And Seth?_

Standing up, Paul began pacing. He didn't want to fall in love with Leah. He didn't want to fall in love with ANYONE. That's the last thing he needed. He had his grandma and little brothers to take care of, and his job at the store and the reservation to protect . . . he didn't need to add one more person to the mix.

Stopping his pacing, Paul wondered, _Do I love Leah?_ He really had no idea. He had never loved anyone but his grandma. Girls to him were a hobby. Something you used to have a good time. He had never given any thought to love and marriage. That was for guys like Sam and Jared and Jacob. He didn't need the headache or heartache.

Paul finally decided he was being stupid for getting himself all worked up like this. So he had some great sex and it had thrown him for a loop. He needed to get a hold of himself and quit acting like a fucking idiot. As Paul stalked back to the house, he was determined to put all this out of his mind and get some sleep as he had to get up and run the early patrol. He let himself in quietly and made his way back to the couch where he tried to get as comfortable as he could get on the lumpy cushions, and then he forced himself to clear his mind and get some sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

CARRY THAT WEIGHT 

Paul gently placed the bread on top of the rest of the groceries in the bag then asked, "Are you sure you don't need help out with this Mrs. Cooper?" She was one of his grandma's friends, and she came into the store every Tuesday for her groceries.

"No, Paul, thank you. I can get it today. Tell Ruth I'll see her on Friday for euchre," she smiled as she pressed two folded dollar bills into his hand.

Paul returned her smile, promising, "I will. You take care." Mrs. Cooper nodded and left the store then Paul looked down at the money she had slipped into his hand as he shook his head and smiled. He loved how his grandma's friends all thought they had to tip him. Paul shoved the money into his pocket and moved to return to stocking the shelves when he heard someone holler from outside, "Lady, back off right now!"

Paul quickly moved to the front window to see what was going on. Mr. Grey, one of his teachers at school, was yelling at some woman. She had her back to him, so he couldn't make out who it was, but by the way she was dressed, Paul could tell she wasn't from around here. _Wow, a fight right here in front of the store. That might break up the monotony of the day, _Paul thought as he crossed his arms in front of his chest to watch.

"You shut your fucking mouth, you asshole! I had that parking spot and you know it!" the woman spat back.

"Shit," Paul muttered as his face fell when he recognized the voice and then raced out the door to step in between them. "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. I'll take care of this," he said quickly trying to diffuse the situation.

"Paul, step back. I was trying to tell this . . . "

"No, really, Mr. Grey. I've got this. Just go on." Mr. Grey stared at him for a second then turned to walk down to the drug store.

"Yeah, that's right, you fucking coward! Go and crawl back under whatever rock you crawled out from under!" the woman shrieked from behind him.

Paul whipped around and grabbed her by the arm, dragged her into the alley beside the store, then shoved her against the wall in disgust as he let go of her. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Is that any way to greet your mama, Pauly?"

Paul sneered at her, "Since when have you ever acted like my mother, _Doreen_?"

Doreen, who was dressed in her usual hot pink tank top and black lycra pants that looked painted on, touched her hands to her bleached teased up hair and tried to smooth it back into place as she drawled, "Oh Paul. Stop being so dramatic." She then reached into her huge purse and pulled out a compact and flipped it open to look her reflection as she dabbed at her nose with the pad. Paul noticed that as usual, her eyes were sunken and bloodshot and she was twitching and having a hard time standing still - tell tale signs that she was using.

Paul was trying hard to keep his anger in check, but it took all the strength he had. "You still haven't answered my question. What are you doing here?"

"Can't a mother stop by to visit her children without getting the third degree?" Doreen asked as she slipped her compact back into her purse.

"No. Have you been to the house yet?"

"Not yet. I needed some cigarettes so I thought I would stop by here first." Doreen looked up at Paul and ran a hand over his chest. "Look at you. You look so cute in your little apron," she smirked.

Knocking her hand away, Paul snarled, "There is no way in hell I'm going to let you set one foot into our house. Travis just stopped crying at night and is finally settling in. And Tyler . . . I don't know what the hell you did that fucked him up so much, but it's going to stop now. You got that?"

With a scowl, Doreen shot back, "They are MY boys, Paul. You can't tell me when I can or can't see them."

Paul leaned closer to her to say evenly, "You gave up your right to us when you dumped us off on Grandma. You really have no idea what kind of pain and destruction you leave behind, do you?"

"I know you have no right to talk to me like that."

"I have every right!" Paul shouted. "You have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep when I was little like Trav, wondering what I did to cause my mama to hate me so much. If it wasn't for Grandma, I have no idea where I would be. THAT woman is the only mother I know. And now that you've dumped your other bastards with us, that is what I want for my little brothers, too. It's not easy feeding four of us on Grandma's Social Security and what little I make at the store, but we do it. Because that's what's right. So, I don't have much money, but you can have whatever is in my wallet if you just put your ass back into your car and leave without seeing them."

To prove he meant what he said, Paul pulled out his wallet then took out the money he just received as his pay for the week. He had paid his store tab with part of it, so all he had left was $80. "Here. This is all I have left. I'll park my car for a week and walk, and Travis and I will go fishing for some extra food. Just take it." Paul held it out and just waited for her to snatch it up.

Doreen stared hard at the money for a moment then her hand shot out and grabbed it just like Paul knew she would. He could tell by the look on her face after she counted it she was pissed he only had 80 bucks. She could care less what hardship it put on them, just as long as she could take some money back to her dealer. Paul watched in disgust as she shoved the bills under her bra strap then said, "Thanks, baby. I guess I don't really have time to visit the boys right now anyway. I'll try to stop by another time."

"Don't bother," Paul said through his clenched teeth as he glared at her.

His mother reached out to briefly touch his cheek and for an instant, he saw something that looked like regret in her eyes. "You take care, Pauly," she said softly. But it vanished quickly and her hard look returned as she whirled around to totter away on her 3-inch heels.

Paul exhaled as he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, immediately thrown back to another time when he was little and his mother was leaving him . . .

_"I'm sorry, Pauly, but Mommy has to go. I'll be back soon, OK?" she promised as she tried to pry Paul off of her leg where he held on as tight as a 6-year old could._

_"Don't go, Mommy! I'll be good, I promise!" Paul wailed._

_"That's enough!" his mom spit out. "Let go of me right now and quit your bawling! Ma . . .a little help here!"_

_Paul's grandmother stepped up behind him to pull him from his mother and pick him up to hold him close to her. "Paul, honey, stop," Ruth said to him firmly, but lovingly. He finally stopped sobbing then looked between his mother and grandmother. As he sniffed, he was amazed at the difference in them. His mother's eyes were so cold and hard, yet his grandmother's so full of love. Paul wrapped his little arms around his grandmother's neck and buried his head in her shoulder._

_"Just go, Doreen. Now," his grandmother said gruffly._

_"Gladly," Doreen hissed as she picked up her bag and slammed the door behind her._

_"It's alright, honey. Don't cry. Everything's alright," Ruth crooned to Paul as she carried him into the kitchen where she set him down on a chair and said with a smile, "How about we make some cookies? That always makes me feel better. Want to help Grandma?" _

_Paul bobbed his little head as he ran his nose along his arm. He loved his grandma . . . and she did make good cookies. And staying here wasn't so bad . . . _

Paul smiled as he remembered how they had made cookies that day and his grandma had succeeded in taking his pain away. Sighing, Paul realized there was no reason to revisit the past. What was done was done, and he was much better off for it.

Pushing himself away from the wall, Paul walked back around the corner to the store. Seeing that Doreen's car was gone, he sighed in relief and wondered for a second if he should call his grandma and warn her just in case his mother didn't head out of town. He really didn't want the boys to see her.

Just then, his manager, Pete, met him at the door. "Paul! Who was that out there? Did you know her?"

"Naw. I just pulled her around the corner and made her calm down. She was pissed at Mr. Grey for supposedly trying to take her parking spot or something. She gave up, got back in her car and left."

Pete just nodded then said, "Well, thanks. It was good of you to take care of that. Produce truck just got here. Can you help me unload it?"

Paul smiled, "Sure, Pete." Work was just what he needed right now. 

Later that night, he was on patrol with Jared and Quil. Jared was poking fun at Quil for spending the afternoon with Claire at the beach. They had tried to build a sandcastle, but Claire kept knocking it down.

_"How do you put up with it, dude? Spending all your free time with a toddler?"_

_"I want to be with her. She's so cute! Did I tell you about how she didn't want to brush her teeth, but she did when I got her some Dora the Explorer toothpaste and . . . "_

_"Oh my God, Quil, give it a rest! I wanna fucking puke!" _Paul grumbled.

_"What's up your ass, Paul? Jealous cause we have someone and you don't?"_

_"Thank God! I would shoot myself if I sounded like the two of you. Man, I miss patrolling with Leah."_

_"Yeah, I'll bet you do," _Jared let slip.

Paul growled and nipped at Jared to make him shut up.

Quil was too quick. _"Oh yeah? Paul, you got a thing for Leah, do ya?"_

Paul whipped around and caught Quil in the back leg with his teeth and he yelped. _"What the fuck, Paul! Can't take a joke or what?"_

_"Been too long, huh, buddy? Maybe you need to call Shelia and get laid." _Jared was trying hard to keep what Paul had shared with him out of mind.

_"Yeah, maybe. Whatever. Can we just finish this patrol? I'm beat and I need some sleep. It's been a really long day."_

The three of them sped up and took another lap of the rez. Dealing with his mom today had Paul on edge and wishing they would come across a bloodsucker right now. He really wanted to rip into something and tear it apart. Finally, Sam called them back and they reported in. Embry, Seth and Collin were taking over so Paul slipped out as soon as he could and headed for home.

He walked in the door to find Tyler sitting up in front of the TV. "Hey, dude. It's like 3 am. What are you doing up?" he asked as he flopped onto the couch.

"Can't sleep."

"Something bugging you?"

"Just shut up and leave me alone, will ya?"

Paul sat up and to take a good look at Tyler. He could see Ty was really upset . . . more than usual. _Shit. Doreen_. "Talk to me, Ty. What's going on?"

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it, dickhead."

"Well then, get out of my bedroom. I need some sleep." Paul picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

Tyler jumped up then turned to look at Paul and it cut him to the core to see his little brother just seething with pain and anger. Paul reached out and grabbed Ty by the wrist and pulled him down beside him on the couch. "Tyler. Talk to me."

"I saw her today, OK?" he spit out. "I saw . . . Mom today."

"Where?" Paul demanded.

"I saw her drive through town when I came out of the gas station. Me and Brady went in to get a pop, and when I came out, she went driving by real fast. I ran home right away cause I thought she would be coming here . . . but . . . she didn't. She never showed up," Tyler finished as his head dropped to his chest.

"I'm sorry, Ty."

Tyler's head shot up as he asked, "You saw her, too, didn't you?"

Paul held his breath, not really wanting to lie, but . . . he knew Ty wouldn't take it well if he knew he was the one who made her leave town without coming to see him. He weighed his options and finally he said quietly, "Yeah, I saw her."

"Where? Did you talk to her?"

Paul sighed as he leaned back into the couch cushion. "She showed up in front of the store, screaming at one of my teachers cause she thought he was trying to take her fucking parking spot. She was making a spectacle of herself as usual. I had to leave my job to go out and break it up."

Noticing that Tyler watched him intently, drinking in every detail, Paul went on, "I pulled her away and made Mr. Grey leave then I pulled her around the corner to find out why she was here."

"Why was she here? Was she here to see us?" Tyler asked quickly.

"Look, Ty, she was here for the only reason she ever comes here . . . money. She took my last 80 bucks, got back in her car and left . . . probably heading straight for her dealer not giving a fuck that we have nothing to eat for the next week."

Tyler shot off the couch and began frantically pacing back and forth. It amazed Paul and how much Tyler looked just like him right now. "You knew she would come here. She wanted to see us and you told her not to, didn't you? You made her leave before I could see her!" Tyler was yelling now.

Paul stood up to say to him, "Come on, Tyler. Keep it down. I don't want Trav to know. He just stopped crying every night. You want to go through that again?"

"Damnit, I hate you, Paul! I could have talked to her. I couldn't have made her take me home with her." Tyler looked up at with his eyes full of tears and . . . pain. "She needs me, Paul. She needs me to take care of her. She doesn't have anyone to take care of her!"

That was a knife in the gut. Now he understood why Tyler was having such a hard time being here. It wasn't that he was pissed about being dumped here . . . he was worried sick about _her._

Paul reached out, placing his huge hand on Tyler's neck to yank him close and hold him as Tyler's tears soaked his bare chest. This made Paul hate his mother more than he ever had before. What she had done to Paul was bad, but at least she had the sense to leave him here when he was five. Tyler had stayed with her for eleven years. Eleven years of seeing her with her drugged out boyfriends and pimps and dealers. _God, what all had he seen and put up with? _Paul wondered.

Paul led Tyler over to the couch and made him sit down then he plopped down next to him. "Listen, Ty. I get it now. You've never had a chance to be a kid, have you? That's why you're finding it so hard to adjust to being here. You're worried about her, aren't you?"

Tyler nodded as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I always shopped for food, and cooked for her cause she was too tired when she came home. I took care of Travis because when he cried it made her mad. Especially when she came home and she didn't feel good." Paul gritted his teeth. He wanted to hunt her down and beat her for what she had done to this kid. "And I tried to keep him out of the way when she brought a guy home, you know?"

"Ty, don't you get it? Don't you understand what a bitch this woman is? You don't treat your kid like that."

"Stop it! Don't call her that," Tyler said in anger. "Maybe she made some mistakes, but she's still my mom. She needs me."

Paul exhaled as his anger built. How could he make Tyler see that their mom just used him? She didn't love him. That wasn't love. Paul turned to face him. "Look at me, Tyler." Tyler looked away and wiped his face as his tears had started to fall again. Paul took his chin and forced him to look at him. "Tyler, I know she's your mom, and every little boy wants their mom to be . . . well, perfect. But our mom is far from perfect. If you just take a minute to look at her like she really is, and not how you think she is, you'll see that you are much better off here with us."

Paul dropped his hand from Tyler's chin and started talking. "Doreen is a drug addict. She has been since I was little. When I was five, my dad got put in jail for dealing. She couldn't handle me alone, so she brought me here. I was devastated when she walked out and left me here. I can still see everything about that day like it happened yesterday . . . but it was the best thing she ever did. I can't imagine what living with her for eleven years must have been like for you. I only have shady memories of them smoking pot and having people coming in and out all times of the day and night, and then the cops coming to the house and arresting my dad."

"The first time she came back, I wanted to go with her so bad. She was the only mom I knew. Grandma had to physically pull me off of her so she could get out of the door. But I remember that day as she looked at me with pure hatred in her eyes just because I was crying . . . that's when I realized that I was much better off here with Grandma. Doreen is selfish. She should never have had kids. Grandma's told me that many times over the years. She will NEVER EVER put anyone else above her own needs, Ty. Never. Not me, not you, not Travis. She is only ever going to look out for herself. You have to know that."

Paul looked over at Tyler, who hung his head and mumbled, "I remember the first time I lied for her. The cops came to the door andI lied and said she wasn't home." Tyler stopped to look over at Paul. "I was four."

Paul bit down his lip as he wanted to shout every obscenity he could think of as Tyler went on, "After that, it got easier to lie for her. I lied to the cops, to the neighbors, to Child Protective Services, her dealer. For some reason, I thought if I lied for her, she would like me. And it worked. She'd always smile at me and say, "You're a good boy, Tyler. Maybe I'll keep you around.' Especially when I would put her to bed and clean up her puke."

Paul took a deep breath. _God, how he hated this woman! _"See? That's what I mean, Ty? Kids aren't supposed to do that shit for their parents! Don't you get that?"

"Yeah, I get that! After I got older and saw how other kids lived . . . I started to realize what she was and how weird it was that she let me do everything. But what else was I supposed to do? Let them take us away and put us in separate foster homes? I did what I had to do, Paul."

Paul sighed and put his arm around Tyler's shoulders. "Yeah, I see that, bro. So what happened? Why did she bring you guys here?" Tyler just shrugged and remained quiet. "Ty?"

"It was because of one of her boyfriends," Tyler said very softly. "He . . . hit me . . . and stuff."

Paul sat up and looked at Tyler. "And stuff? What happened to you, Tyler? Tell me." Tyler wouldn't look at him so Paul gave him a shake ordered, "Tyler. Tell me now."

"It's not a big deal, OK? I pissed him off and he hit me. It wasn't that bad. I only had a black eye and some bruises."

"What did you do to piss him off?"

Tyler looked up at Paul and said flatly, "I refused to suck his dick."

Paul exploded as he jumped up and asked Tyler, "Did you call the cops? Report him?"

Tyler shook his head. "The next day, Mom packed us up, put us in the car and brought us here."

"Shit! Why would you want to go back there? Why don't you hate her fucking guts like I do? Tyler, this is wrong."

"I know that. I know." A tear left Tyler's eye and ran slowly down his face. "Don't you think I know that? I'm shit, Paul. I'm nothing but shit."

Paul sunk down on the couch and pulled Tyler to him again. He was torn at wanting to hunt down the mother fucker that touched his brother, and wanting to run after his mother and rip her apart as Tyler's body shook with his silent sobs.

Finally Ty pulled himself up and wiped his eyes as Paul said to him, "Tyler, I want you to know something. None of this . . . none of anything that has happened to you in your eleven years is _your_ fault. You are _not_ shit. This is all Doreen. This is HER fault. She MADE you feel this way. Look at me." Tyler tilted his face up to look at Paul. "I'm sorry that you've had to live through those things and I'm really sorry that I've given you such a hard time since you've been here. Thank you for talking to me and telling me this stuff. I'm going to make you a promise now, OK?"

Paul waited a second for Tyler's nod to make sure he was listening to him, then he said seriously, "I swear to God, Tyler, as long as I'm alive, NO ONE will ever hurt you again. From now on, I will protect you and Travis. Anyone messes with you, they mess with me. Got it?"

"You would do that for me? After I've been such a dick to you? And to Grandma?"

Paul had to smile at that as he said, "Yeah, you have been a dick, but I've been known to act that way every now and then, too. Maybe it's in the genes, who knows?"

Tyler actually smiled a little at that as Paul added, "We're brothers, Ty. From now on, we all stick together, OK?"

Tyler nodded as Paul pulled him back for another hug. Just then he heard, "Paul? What's the matter with Tyler?"

They looked up to see Travis standing there rubbing his eyes. Paul suggested to Tyler, "Why don't you go into the bathroom and clean up, OK? Then try and get some sleep."

Tyler got up to walk to the bathroom, but stopped to turn back and say, "Paul? Um, thanks."

Paul stood up to say, "Sure, bro. I got your back. Good night." Tyler went into the bathroom and closed the door then Paul looked down at Travis, picking him up to say, "Tyler's OK. He just had some stuff he needed to talk to me about. Want me to take you back to bed?"

Travis bobbed his head sleepily as Paul smiled and walked into the bedroom to lay Travis down onto the bed. He handed Travis the little worn stuffed puppy that he slept with then covered him up and sat down on the edge of the bed. "It sounded like you were mad. Are you mad at Tyler?"

"No, buddy. I'm not. I was mad about something that happened to Tyler, but I'm not now."

"Good," Travis said as he settled down against his pillow.

"Hey, Trav? Are you happy staying here with me and Grandma?"

"Yes," Travis smiled. "Grandma is nice. She makes good cookies."

Paul had to smile at that. "Yeah, she does. You know, I moved in here to live with her when I was five."

"Really?" Travis yawned.

"Yep. I always liked her cookies, too. You know if you need anything, you can come to me, right?" Travis nodded. "I want you to know I'll protect you and take care of you."

"I know, Paul. I love you," Travis said as he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes.

That startled Paul! He had never had anyone other than his grandma tell him that. He actually felt tears sting his eyes as he ran his hand over Travis' hair. "I love you, too, buddy. Good night."

Paul got up, walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. As he drank, he heard the bathroom door open and he suspected Tyler was finally heading to bed. God help him, his rage at his mother was roaring its ugly head again and he was having a very hard time holding it back. Setting his glass in the sink, he turned and shakily walked out the back door. He shucked his shorts off just as his body started shifting and he hit the ground running on all fours.

Paul ran hard through the woods trying to expend his anger at that woman who had given birth to him. Never again would he think of her as his mother. If he ever set eyes on her again, he would . . .

_"Geez, Paul, what the fuck? I can feel your rage. You've got me wanting to run home and rip my mom's head off. And I love my mom!" _Embry. Just what he needed.

_"Sorry. Little domestic problem. I really need to run off this anger before I kill someone."_

_"Yeah, no shit."_

Paul suddenly found himself running toward Leah's. _Why the hell was he running to her? _It was the middle of the night. She would be sleeping. He couldn't wake her up just to cry on her shoulder.

_"Wake her up. I can't stand feeling like this," _Embry told him.

Paul phased just inside her backyard then realized he didn't have any pants. _Shit._ _Well, it's not like she hadn't seen him without pants before. _Grabbing a handful of stones out of her driveway, he made his way to Leah's window and began pelting it with the stones, one at a time. Finally her window went up and Leah stuck her head out. "Who is it?" she called quietly, trying not to wake her mom.

"It's Paul. I really need to talk. Can I come in?"

"Um, OK. Climb up." Leah ducked back inside as he leapt at the tree beside the house and used the limbs to reach her window. He fell to the floor inside then looked up at her.

"Forget your pants or did you shred them?"

Paul smiled as he stood up, not bothering to cover his nudity. "I pulled them off so I wouldn't shred them. Can't afford to buy more. I figure I got nothing you haven't seen before."

"Well, that's true," Leah agreed sleepily as she turned back to the bed leaving Paul to stand there feeling just a little hurt that the sight of his naked body didn't seem to excite her. She scooted over and lay down, patting the bed beside her. Paul smiled and crawled onto the bed as she asked with a yawn, "OK. What brings you here in the middle of the night?"

"I saw my m . . . the woman who gave me birth today. Doreen," Paul sighed. Then he surprised himself by pouring out everything that had happened today . . . the fight in front of the store, and how he paid her what money he had to get rid of her. Once he started talking, he couldn't stop. Words kept pouring out of his mouth . . . he found himself telling her all about how he felt when his mom left and the phone call from his dad on his 16th birthday . . . which led to him telling her about Tyler . . . and what happened to him.

When Paul finally stopped, Leah looked over at him to say, "What a fucking bitch."

Paul actually laughed at that. "I lay here pouring out my guts, and that's all you have to say?"

Leah propped herself up on her elbow to look down at him. "I'm sorry, Paul. I am so sorry. It really helps me to understand you more, you know? None of you deserve her." Then she leaned down to put a soft kiss on his forehead. Paul closed his eyes and relished the feeling of being cared for. _This_ is why he had come here.

"Is Tyler OK?" Leah asked as she laid her head on Paul's shoulder.

"Yeah, I think so. I promised him I would never let anyone hurt him ever again. And I mean that. I would kill anyone that came after my family . . . or my friends."

Leah smiled at that. "I believe you."

"Thanks for listening," Paul sighed. "When I took off running, I thought I was just running off the anger, but, then I realized, I was running to you. You're my best friend, Leah. I've never known anyone like you," he finished with a yawn.

Leah was amazed at how good that made her feel. "Really? I'd have to say you're my best friend, too," she admitted as she ran her hand gently through Paul's hair. After a few minutes, she realized he was snoring softly. Leah lifted her head and looked down at Paul . . . his face was relaxed and he looked so peaceful, she hated to wake him and make him leave.

Reaching out slowly, Leah pulled the sheet over Paul's waist then lay back down, snuggling next to him, wondering about this strange relationship that had developed between them. They had both changed so much in the last few weeks. Somehow they were good for each other. But she was not in love with him. She wasn't going there. Never again. But she would be his friend. That she could do.

Paul rolled over and threw his arm over Leah and she smiled as she closed her eyes. Soon she was snoring right along with him.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

BIRTHDAY 

Paul woke up, stretching his limbs as he noticed light streaming in through the window, then he looked around the room trying to figure out where he was. _Yellow walls, frilly curtains . . . t_hen it came back to him: _Leah's_. He closed his eyes again and rolled over, snuggling back under the covers. _God, this bed is amazing! _It had been way too long since he had slept in a bed. As he inhaled, he caught Leah's scent from her pillow and he smiled, deciding he could get used to waking up like this.

Leah quietly opened the bedroom door, stepped inside and closed it again behind her. Her mom had left for work, and Seth was heading out to patrol in an hour. If she could just keep Paul here until Seth left, no one would know he slept here. She crept toward the bed and leaned over to see if Paul was still asleep. That's when he shot up, grabbed her and pulled her down onto the bed with him.

Leah let out a scream in surprise then slapped at him. "Damnit, Paul!" He laughed out loud as she put her hand over his mouth. "Shhhh! Seth is still downstairs."

"Leah! You OK up there?" Seth hollered up the stairs.

Running to the door, Leah opened it to step out and say, "Yeah. Just a fucking spider. I got it. Sorry."

"Geez, you scared the shit out of me," Seth grumbled as he went back to his video game.

Leah closed the door again and turned to Paul who had the audacity to lay there and grin at her, as she walked over to the bed and put her hands on her hips. Paul thought about telling her how she looked just like her mom when she did that, but wisely decided against it. "If you can stay quiet for another 40 minutes or so, I promise I will make you breakfast, OK?"

"OK. I promise I'll be quiet. But you have to keep me company," Paul said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Leah smiled as she sunk onto the bed. "So, how do feel now that you've had some sleep? You snore, by the way."

"I feel great. Man, your bed is so comfortable," Paul sighed as he put his arms behind his head and lay back against the pillow. Leah couldn't help but admire his huge biceps and rock hard abs. "See anything you like?"

Leah shook her head at him and returned, "You are so arrogant sometimes."

"Maybe, but you're pretty easy to read. I can see you checking me out."

Leah shamed herself by blushing, hating how he made her feel like such a girl sometimes! Paul chuckled as he pulled Leah against him then kissed her lips hungrily. Leah moved closer to him to wrap her arms around his neck as Paul's tongue grazed her bottom lip and she opened her mouth . . .

"Hey, Leah, I'm heading out early and . . . what the fuck is going on?" Seth demanded as he stood at the bedroom door and Leah could see he was fuming.

Leah jumped off of the bed. "Seth, stop. This isn't what you think. Look! I'm fully dressed!"

"Oh, so you weren't on your bed, making out with Paul, who has a huge boner standing up under the sheet?"

Paul looked down to see his penis standing at attention and it made him laugh. "Sorry, I just woke up. Can't be helped."

"Shut up, Paul!" both Leah and Seth yelled at the same time. Then Seth turned on his heel and ran down the stairs. "Seth!" Leah yelled after him as she flew downstairs.

"Seth, stop!" Leah caught him at the door and grabbed his arm.

Seth jerked it away. "I thought you two were _just friends_. I don't like to be lied to, Leah."

"We ARE just friends!"

Seth snorted at that, not even trying to hide his anger. "Yeah, well, I don't care if you want to fuck him, but Sam will. And I don't think Mom would appreciate you doing it here under her roof."

"Are you going to tell her?" Looking at Seth, she wasn't sure right now if he would keep her secret.

Nostrils flared, Seth exhaled, "Hell no. I'm staying out of this. You want to ruin your life, that's up to you. You think you would have learned already with Sam, but I guess not." And with that, he ripped open the door and stalked out.

Leah put her head down and let out a huge breath. _He was right. She should have learned, but she didn't._

"Hey, everything OK?" Leah turned to see Paul standing at the bottom of the stairs with the sheet from her bed wrapped around his hips.

Leah gave him a weak smile. "You look ridiculous."

"I don't know . . . I thought it was kind of sexy," Paul replied with a grin as he wiggled his hips for her.

"Come on," Leah sighed. "We need to find you some pants." Then she walked by him as she made her way upstairs and Paul turned to follow her.

"I hope I didn't get you in trouble, Leah. I didn't mean to fall asleep. You should have woke me up and made me go home."

Leah came out of Seth's room with a pair of sweatpants. Paul took them then dropped the sheet and slipped them on. "Thanks."

Leah nodded and picked up the sheet then walked into her bedroom. "He said he wouldn't tell Mom." She threw the sheet on the bed and sat down. "And you were so upset when you got here. When you fell asleep, I just didn't have the heart to wake you."

"I have to admit, it's the best sleep I've had in a long time," Paul said sheepishly. Leah smiled at that. "I hope the kid can keep this from Sam. I know I can handle him, but, I just don't want him giving you any shit about it."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," Leah tried to reassure him.

Paul walked over and dropped a kiss onto her hair. "I guess I better go. Thanks, again, for last night. For listening . . . "

Leah stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I think I promised you breakfast."

Paul stood there and inhaled. Her hair smelled so good . . . like flowers and sunshine. _God, Paul, get a grip!_ he thought to himself. _You're turning into such a chick! Next you'll be asking her to paint your fucking nails!_

Kissing her softly on the lips, Paul stepped back and smiled. "You did, but I better go. I have to get to work in a little while. See you later?"

"Yep," Leah answered as Paul moved to the window. "Uh, Paul?" You can use the door now."

Paul turned and chuckled. "Oh, yeah." Moving to the door, he stopped, winked at her then he was gone. Leah thought again how Paul was full of surprises. She wasn't sure she could take many more. Sighed as she picked the sheet up off of her bed she thought, _At least he made life less boring._

A couple of days later, it was Paul's 18th birthday and he was working fast at the store to finish up and clock out. His grandma always made his favorite dinner for his birthday: meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and a German Chocolate cake with her own homemade caramel frosting as his birthday cake. He was really looking forward to that. As he clocked out, Pete, his manager, walked up and clapped him on the back. "Happy Birthday, kid! How old are you now?"

Paul smiled as he was surprised that Pete had known it was his birthday. "Eighteen," he answered proudly.

"Eighteen. Man, to be eighteen again," Pete said softly. "Well, here's a little something from me. Hope you have a good day. See ya on Monday."

"Thanks, Pete. See ya," Paul said as Pete walked away. Paul walked out the back door and got into his car where he opened the envelope that Pete had given him only to be shocked when he pulled out a crisp new $50 bill! He wasn't sure how to take the gesture as he wasn't used to people doing things like this for him. Paul smiled as he tucked it away in his wallet.

Paul drove home and walked up to the front door to see a sign on the door that said, _"Happy Brfday Paul!"_ written in green crayon. Paul smiled at Travis' thoughtfulness as he opened the door and walked inside.

"Hi, honey! Happy Birthday!" his grandma greeted him as she walked over and put a soft kiss on his cheek. "It's hard to believe my little boy is all grown up."

"Paul! Paul!" Travis yelled as he ran through the house. Paul reached out and caught him just as he launched himself up into Paul's arms. "It's your birfday!"

Paul chuckled as he said, "I know! Thanks for the sign, buddy. That was really nice of you."

Travis hugged Paul's neck and said, "You're welcome." Then his head snapped back up as he added, "Wait til you see your cake! Grandma let me help make it."

"Yeah? Well then, let's go see it," Paul said as he carried Travis into the kitchen. The cake was displayed in the middle of the kitchen table on the special raised cake plate his grandma always used. "Wow. It looks delicious. Let's eat it."

"No! We can't," Travis told him. "Grandma says not til after dinner."

"Oh, well, OK. I always listen to what Grandma says," Paul said seriously as he set Travis down then gave his grandma a wink.

"Hey, Paul. Happy Birthday," Tyler said as he walked into the kitchen.

Paul smiled at him and mussed his hair. "Thanks, Ty." Things between them had gotten a lot better since their little talk. He noticed Ty was treating their grandma with more respect, too, which meant a lot to him.

"Well, let's all sit down and eat. Dinner is ready," Ruth announced. They all took their places as she put the food on the table.

"Mmmm, it's delicious as always, Grandma. Thanks," Paul said with his mouth full of meatloaf.

"Don't talk with your mouthful, Pauly," Ruth scolded lightly, then she smiled. "But you're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

They had a pleasant dinner with Travis monopolizing most of the conversation as usual. He was telling Paul about playing with one of Grandma's friend's grandsons, named Jason. "Jason has lots of Legos and we built this cool tower that was this high." Travis jumped off of his chair and was holding his arm up to show Paul just how high.

"Travis, eat your dinner before it gets cold, honey."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, Grandma."

Ruth smiled and patted his hand as he sat back down and started shoveling his food in. Just then, there was a knock on the door. Tyler got up to answer it.

"Hey everyone, sorry I'm late," Leah said as she walked in. Paul's eyes lit up as she walked into the kitchen. "I worked outside today with my mom in her garden and I needed to take a shower before I came, but my brother would not get out of the bathroom!" She pulled out a chair next to Tyler and sat down, turning to him to say, "Hey, Tyler."

Tyler gave her a small shy smile and quietly returned, "Hey." A lot different from the first time she met him!

"That's alright, honey. Let me get you a plate." Ruth got up and grabbed a plate and a glass out of the cupboard then set them in front of Leah. Paul reached over and pulled out a drawer and handed her some silverware.

"I didn't know you were coming over," Paul said to her.

"I invited her, honey. I hope you don't mind," Ruth explained.

Paul smiled at Leah. "No, I don't mind at all. Just not sure I want to share my meatloaf."

Leah quickly stabbed a piece with her fork and put it on her plate. "Hah!" she said in triumph as Paul laughed.

"Hey, Leah! Guess what. I helped Grandma make Paul's birfday cake," Travis chimed in.

Leah smiled at him. _He's just too cute._ "You did? I can't wait to try it."

They all finished their dinner and Travis insisted they sing _Happy Birthday_ to Paul. Ruth even put 18 candles on the cake and lit them while they sang. "Make a wish, Pauly," she said softly as she rested her hand on his shoulder. As Paul looked around the table at his family, and his best friend, he had no idea what else he could wish for. He smiled at them then made an attempt to blow out all of the candles. It took him two tries and then everyone clapped.

Ruth cut the cake and they all dug in. "Wow. This is the best birthday cake I've ever had," Paul said after he took his first bite. His grandma smiled at him then turned and smiled at Travis, who was beaming.

"That's cause I helped!" Travis said, and everyone laughed. After they finished their cake, Travis announced, "Time for presents!" as he jumped off of his chair and disappeared into the living room.

"Grandma, you know I don't expect you to get me anything. This meal is always your present."

"I know that, honey. Travis made you something."

Travis ran back into the kitchen and handed Paul a small box, wrapped in white paper that he had colored on in crayon. "I made the wrapping paper," he stated proudly.

"Yeah?" Paul said. "It's cool, bro." Travis beamed.

Paul broke the tape carefully so as not to tear the paper then he opened the box and found a dream catcher. He took it carefully from the box and held it up. "Wow, buddy, this is really cool." Paul admired it from all angles as Travis told him that Emily had helped him make it.

"We went to the beach and collected the little shells and walked in the woods to find the feathers. Do you really like it?"

Paul looked down into his little brother's big brown eyes and gave him a genuine smile. "I love it, Trav. This is the coolest present anyone has ever given me." Then he bent down and hugged Travis. "Thanks." Paul was surprised at the warm feeling it gave him . . . he really was touched that this little boy had gone out of his way to make a gift for him.

Travis squeezed Paul around the neck then let go and turned to Tyler. "Do you want to give him your present now, Ty?"

Tyler nodded and stood up. "I don't really have a present for you to unwrap, but . . . I wanted to let you know that I'm going to take over doing your chores around here so you don't have to worry about anything. I need to do something, and you work at the store and stuff, and so . . . I talked to Grandma and she said she would let me know what to do."

Paul smiled at him as he realized that Tyler was used to taking care of things for his mom, and he needed to feel . . . needed. "Thanks, Ty. I really appreciate it. That's a great gift. Thanks." He stood up and held out his hand to Tyler who smiled and took it and Paul gave it a good shake. "You're a good man." Tyler actually returned the smile then sat down.

Paul looked around the table and said humbly, "Thanks, everyone. This has really been one of the best birthdays I've ever had."

"It's not over! You have to come and see your BIG present!" Travis got up and pulled Paul out of his chair.

"What are you talking about, Trav? I don't need anymore pres . . ." Paul stopped when they got to the living room. There, in place of his lumpy old couch, sat a nice, new futon. "What the hell? Where did this come from?"

His grandma walked up behind him as Travis ran to jump on the futon. "My friend, Connie, had this in her spare room for her grandkids, but they never really used it, so she asked if I knew anyone who might want it. You work so hard, honey. I want you to be able to get a good night's sleep."

Tyler walked over to the futon and said, "Yeah, and see you can pull it out like this . . . " he pulled it out "and it's like a bed! You'll have more room this way."

Paul couldn't believe it. A bed. He walked over and sat down on it. Travis jumped off and said, "Lay down!" Paul laughed as he laid down and stretched out. The mattress on it wasn't too bad. No lumps!

"Wow, this is great," Paul announced with a grin then he sat up and pushed himself off of the futon to walk over to his grandma. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "Thank you, Grandma. I love you."

"Oh, I love you, too, honey. Happy Birthday."

Paul turned to Travis and said, "Hey, Trav, go and get the dream catcher you made me." Travis nodded and ran off to the kitchen. Paul walked back to the futon and when Travis handed him the dream catcher, he hung it on a little nail that stuck out of the wall above his futon. "There. Perfect." He looked down at Travis and smiled and tousled his hair.

Paul heard Leah say behind him, "Are you ready now to go out and celebrate?"

He turned and gave her a look. "What do you mean celebrate?"

"I'm taking you out for your birthday. My mom let me borrow the car and everything. Come on! Let's go!" she told him with a grin.

Paul looked at his grandma who ordered, "Go on, Pauly. A pretty young girl wants to take you out for your birthday. Are you dumb, or what?"

That made them both laugh. "No, I'm not dumb. Let's go!"

Paul said good bye to his brothers and then they walked outside to Leah's mom's car and climbed inside. "Am I dressed OK? I have no idea where you're taking me." He was wearing jeans and a black vee neck t-shirt.

Leah looked over to admire how his muscles stood out against the black of his t-shirt then assured him, "You're fine, don't worry," as she put the car in gear and backed out of Paul's driveway. As she drove she hummed to the music on the radio and Paul thought she had never looked more relaxed.

"Any hints?" Paul asked.

"No."

"Just one?"

"NO." Then Leah looked over and grinned, "This is fun."

Paul laughed then looked out the window to see if he could tell where they were going. "Is it very far?" Leah just shot him a look and he quickly added, "OK, boss."

Leah turned into a small lane and drove in a little ways then turned off the lights and then the engine. Paul looked at her. "Where are we?"

"Man, you ask a lot of questions. Come on." Leah got out of the car and Paul followed. They walked into the woods down a narrow path and Paul could hear the surf nearby so he knew they were walking toward the water, but they weren't at the beach. He looked around and suddenly he recognized where they were. The cliff top where they had first . . . oh, wow. _Was this going to be a replay?_

Finally Leah stopped and turned around to announce, "Here we are." Paul smiled as he looked around. There were little Chinese lanterns hanging in the trees, and Leah had taken a sheet and tied it between two trees to make a little awning. There was a small fire pit laid out and wood stacked in it ready to light. "I remember when we were here the first time, you said you liked camping."

Paul turned to her. "Um, I believe that was your idea."

"Yes, yes it was," Leah agreed as she pulled out a bag and handed him some matches to light the fire. While he did that, she pulled out a bag of marshmallows. "I thought we could roast some marshmallows and listen to some tunes." Paul turned to watch Leah lift out a small CD player and set it on the ground then she pushed a button and music floated softly over them. There was a blanket spread out under the awning and she sat down on it and picked up the roasting sticks that were laying there.

Paul lit the fire and as it took off, he sat down next to Leah to kick off his shoes, like she had and leaned back on his elbows. "I can't believe you did this just for me."

Leah smiled her beautiful smile. "Yeah? You like it?"

"Yeah. I really do." Paul sat up and kissed Leah on the cheek. "Now hand me a stick. I want a marshmallow."

They roasted several marshmallows and after they were all sticky and full Paul put the sticks aside and lay back and put his arms behind his head. This really was the best birthday he had ever had.

Leah lay down beside him and rolled onto her side to face him. "What are you thinking?"

Paul turned his head to look at her. "That this is the best birthday I have ever had in my whole life."

Leah gifted him with her beautiful smile. "Good. I'm glad I could help make it a good day."

Paul rolled to face Leah and run a finger gently down her cheek. "This is definitely the best part." Leaning in closer, he kissed her and felt that fire start to burn in his gut. He was amazed at how she could turn him on so easily. He had never felt like that with any other girl.

Leah responded by eagerly kissing him back and soon their hands began exploring as their clothes started melting away. Laying there on the blanket, naked with each other, there was nothing standing in the way of their passion. Their tongues tangled with each other as they sought to bring pleasure to each other. "Paul, please, yes!" Leah cried out as Paul's fingers played with her and brought her so close, feeling it build and build until she finally fell over the edge. "Yesssssss!"

Paul smiled as she came down from her orgasm then opened her eyes to look at him. "God, you are so good at that," she said.

"I love watching you do that, Leah. It's so amazing," Paul admitted softly as he moved on top of her to settle between her legs and take his time kissing her. Leah tasted so sweet . . . he felt like he couldn't get enough. Positioning himself at her entrance, he slowly, so slowly pushed himself inside. Leah moaned as he stopped and just enjoyed being surrounded by her.

Paul kept kissing her as he moved ever so slowly in and out . . . he was completely enraptured by the feeling. Leah moved with him in their slow rhythm and spread her fingers over his strong shoulders. "Mmmm, yes," she whispered as he picked up the pace just a little and so did she. They kept this up, picking up the pace a little at a time until finally, Paul burst inside her.

Leah let go at the same time and savored the feeling as the waves passed over her. Sam hadn't always been slow enough for her to fully reach her release. She was amazed at how Paul could bring her there every time. They lay there wrapped in each other for quite awhile, neither of them saying a word. Finally Leah whispered, "Happy Birthday."

Paul smiled, "I'm pretty sure this was my favorite present." Leah laughed softly at that.

Paul shifted to his back and pulled Leah over to lay her head on his shoulder. As he listened to the surf roll in below them and then looked up at the stars above him, he was completely amazed at how relaxed he was at this moment. His life was always so hectic with someone always needing something from him. It was awesome to just lay here in the quiet.

After awhile, Leah commented, "You're awfully quiet,"

"Mmm, just enjoying the moment. I don't get many like this." As Paul lay there, he started thinking of that first night they spent here. How good it had felt to hold Leah as they slept. He turned his head and asked, "Is this an all-night sleepover?"

"It can be, if you want it," Leah replied.

Paul propped himself up to look down at her. "Oh, I want it."

Leah grinned then pulled his head down to hers to kiss him and loved when he growled as her tongue slipped inside his mouth. After a couple of minutes, Paul pulled away say, "God, you are so sexy, Leah. It's amazing I don't have a constant hard on when I'm around you."

Leah's laughter made him smile as she said, "Oh yeah? Well, I would tell you that I think you have a smokin' hot body, but I'm pretty sure you'd be arrogant enough to tell me you already knew that." Then it was Paul's turn to laugh before she added, "But I will admit, I really like to run my hands all over it."

"Well, you are welcome to do that any time you want to."

"How about now?" Leah asked as she spread her hands on his chest and ran them up over his shoulders.

Paul closed his eyes and let his head fall back. "Mmm, now is good."

"I have a feeling we might not get much sleep tonight," Leah whispered in his ear as she pushed him back and leaned over him.

"That's OK," he answered softly. "I'm not sleepy."

Leah smiled her sexiest smile before she leaned in to kiss him. As her hand slid slowly down his chest, Paul knew he would remember this birthday for the rest of his life.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

GOOD DAY SUNSHINE 

The next few weeks just flew by. Paul worked at the store and ran his patrols, and helped his Grandma take care of his brothers, but his free time was spent with Leah. Sometimes they just hung out at the house, watching TV or playing board games with Travis, who seemed to be smitten with Leah, begging her to play Candyland or Checkers every chance he got. Travis had also taken to sitting on Leah's lap and having her read to him before bed. Paul worried that Trav was bugging her, but she assured him that she really enjoyed it.

Tyler was still a little shy around Leah, but he started to open up a little more after she talked to him about what he wanted to do someday. "I don't know, I was kind of thinking about being an animal doctor, but I don't know if I'm smart enough. You have to do a lot of science and stuff and I don't do good in science."

"Do well, not good, and I used to think the same thing, but it's not as hard as you think. I wouldn't mind helping you with your homework if you need help," Leah offered.

"Yeah? Maybe . . . I guess." Leah looked at Paul and winked and he smiled. _Man, she was good._

Paul liked that Leah fit into his little family so well. They took the boys to the beach and Leah and Travis would play in the sand as Tyler and Paul played in the surf. They joined Quil and Claire a couple of times and Claire loved playing with Travis. Leah watched both of them while the guys swam and somewhere deep inside her she found herself longing for kids, which really surprised her. She thought she had given up on that, knowing it could never happen, but, as she ran her hand over Claire's bouncy curls, she found herself wishing that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance for her.

August was close and the boys were actually ready to go back to school. Leah always felt a little sad at back to school time. She had always dreamt of going off to college someday, but turning into a huge dog had taken that dream from her. Leah was frozen at 20, still dreaming.

Paul and Leah were walking hand in hand along the beach one evening after supper when Leah asked, "Are you going to back to school, Paul?"

"No. I decided to quit months ago, but I haven't told Grandma yet. She won't be happy with me."

"Why don't you want to go back?"

Paul looked at her and smiled. "I'm not a kid anymore, Leah. I'm 18 and I'm the man of the house. I have a family to provide for. I don't need high school anymore."

"Yeah, I get that. Have you thought about getting a GED? Maybe that would make your grandma happy."

"I've thought about it. I guess I could do that for her."

"Don't do it for her. Do it for you."

Paul stopped and turned to her. "Why do you care so much?"

"Are you fucking serious? Have we not spent enough time together for you to realize that I care about you? I want the best for you, you dork."

Paul smiled at that as he stopped walking to say, "I know. I care about you, too. Maybe too much," he added softly as he leaned forward to kiss her. Leah wrapped her arms around his neck and let him as she realized that maybe she was starting to care a little too much for him, too.

A week later, Paul walked into the living room and looked around. "Man, it's quiet around here. Where's Travis and Ty?" Paul asked his grandma, who was sitting in her chair, knitting a blanket for Travis.

"Tyler is with Brady and Collin," Ruth answered. "He said he would be home for dinner, and Travis is over at my friend Donna's. Her grandson, Jason, asked if Travis could come over and play."

Paul nodded. "Jason. Oh, the kid with all the Legos?"

"Yes. I told them we'd pick him up around six."

"I won't be home for dinner, remember. Sam is having a bonfire on the beach tonight. I guess I can leave you the keys to the car so you can get Trav. Is that good?"

"Sure. Bonfire sounds like fun."

"Yeah, I guess." For some reason, Paul was feeling a little out of sorts today. He wasn't really in the mood to be around a bunch of people. He wished he could figure some way out of it, but when Sam summoned you, you had to go. That's one thing he hated most about being a wolf - always being under the Alpha's thumb, or paw, as it were.

Paul was stretched out on his new futon, mindlessly flicking through the channels on the TV. This was his one Saturday of the month off, and like always, he wasn't sure what to do with himself. Since Ty had stepped up around the house, there wasn't anything for Paul to take care of. So, here he was, channel surfing, finding it hard to relax.

After awhile, Paul wondered what Leah was doing. He smiled as he remembered that first Saturday she had come over and asked him if he meant what he said about being her friend. He was really glad now that he had said yes, instead of telling her to take a hike. He decided to give her a call and see what she was up to. Maybe he could hang out with her.

Paul pushed himself off of the futon and walked to the kitchen where he picked up the phone and dialed Leah's number. "Hello?"

"Hey, Seth. Is Leah there?"

"No."

"Do you know where she is?"

"No."

"When she'll be back?"

"No."

"Are you being an asshole on purpose or what?" _Click._ Paul just stood there and stared at the phone after Seth hung up on him. Ever since Seth found them in Leah's bed, he had been treating Paul this way and he hated it. He had always liked Seth and he felt for awhile they might be better friends. Not now.

Paul sighed as he stepped over to the fridge and opened the door. Nothing really jumped out at him so he closed the door and walked back into the living room.

"Leah not home?" Grandma asked.

"No."

"You look lost, Pauly. What's going on?"

Paul sat on the edge of the futon and shrugged. "I don't know. I just feel . . . weird today. I don't know what to do with myself."

Ruth smiled at him. "That's because you're always so worried about taking care of me and the boys. You never think of yourself. Go do something YOU want to do."

"Yeah, but I don't know what that is."

Ruth laughed at that. "Well, I have a feeling whatever it would be, it would involve Leah."

Paul looked over at his grandma. "What do you mean by that?"

Her eyes twinkled as Ruth replied, "Oh, come on, Pauly. I may be old, but I'm not blind. You've got it bad for that girl."

"We're just friends, Grandma," Paul insisted.

"Yeah, I know. That's what you keep telling everyone. But deep down, I think you're afraid of what you feel." She looked at him over the tip of her glasses that rested on the edge of her nose to advise, "Dig deep and work through those feelings before she gets away."

Paul sighed deeply and leaned back. "I know I don't want to fall in love. I don't want to give up what little bit of freedom I have. Between school and work and being here for all of you . . . I don't have the time or the energy to give to one more person."

"Oh, honey, of course you do," Ruth said as she laid her knitting into her lap. "We all need love in our lives. And you don't plan for it . . . it just finds you." A smile crossed her face as she said softly, "I remember when I met your grandpa. I was working at a little grocery store, just like you. My father was out of work at the time, and we needed what little money I brought home to help us pay the bills. I was just 17. Anyway, Ben came into the store to buy two cans of pork and beans. He smiled at me as he paid for them, asking, 'Do you have the time?' I remember I stammered and finally looked at my watch and said, '7:30.' He looked me in the eye and said, 'That means I have 30 minutes to waste before I come back at closing time to pick you up.' Then he left the store." Ruth smiled and closed her eyes for a moment to relish the memory as she sighed, "He was so handsome."

Paul waited silently for her to go on. "I was completely in shock! No one had ever tried to pick me up before. And I could tell he was older than me. I didn't know what to do!"

"So, what did you do?" Paul asked. He was surprised she had never told him this story before. He had never known his grandpa . . . he died before Paul was born.

"Well, I worked until we closed at eight, then I walked out the front door and there he was, leaning against an old pick-up truck. He smiled at me, and I just melted. I took a chance, and I got in that pick-up truck, and I never regretted it."

"Grandma! He could have been some psycho killer escaped from prison or something!"

Ruth laughed heartily at that. "But, he wasn't. He was a very sweet, gentle man who loved me until the day he died." Then her smile faded. "I still miss him everyday." She spent a few minutes lost in her thoughts then she gave Paul a small smile. "So, see? If I had gone out the back door that night and run home, I would have missed out on the true love of my life. I jumped in with both feet, Paul, and so should you."

Paul sat there and thought about that as his grandma picked up her knitting again. She made love sound so easy, but he still wasn't quite convinced. A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts. His grandma started to get up until Paul said, "It's OK, I got it."

Opening the door, Paul found Leah standing there in a yellow tank top and khaki shorts, her black hair blowing in the breeze around her shoulders . . . she took his breath away. A big smile broke out on his face as she said, "Hey, Paul. I thought maybe we could hang out at the beach. Want to?"

Paul could feel the grin spread over his face as he replied, "Yes. Yes I do. Come on in and I'll get my trunks." Leah nodded and walked past him to the living room where she greeted his grandma.

"Leah! We were just talking about you," Ruth said as she winked at Paul.

"Be good, Grandma," Paul warned her as he turned to walk to his bedroom to rifle through the drawers looking for his swim trunks. He finally found them and slipped them on then went to the bathroom to grab a towel before walking out to find Leah and his grandma laughing. "OK, what's going on out here? You two are having way too much fun."

For some reason, that made them laugh again. "No worries, honey," Ruth finally got out. "Just get out of here and have some fun! You deserve it."

Paul leaned down and kissed his grandma's cheek. "Thanks. I'll see you later."

Leah stood up and said, "Bye, Ruth."

"Bye, Leah. You come back soon."

They walked outside and Paul closed the door behind them then asked, "So, what was that all about?"

"Girl talk. None of your business," Leah answered flippantly.

Paul made a grab for her, but she ducked and ran for the car where she jumped inside and slammed the door. He grinned and walked to the car, climbed into the driver's side and looked over at her as he started the engine. "OK, have little secrets with my grandma."

Leah surprised him by leaning over and kissing him. "What was that for?" Paul asked her.

"For being such a good grandson. It's very sexy, you know."

"Hmm, I'll have to remember that." And with that, he put the car in gear and drove them to the beach. Once he parked, they got out and walked onto the public beach and looked around. It looked like everyone was taking advantage of the rare sunny, hot day.

"Wow. Talk about everyone having the same idea!" Leah observed. "Let's walk down this way." Paul nodded and followed her to where the crowd finally thinned out enough for them to find a spot to spread out the blanket Leah brought.

Paul plopped down on it and said, "Man, I haven't seen the beach this packed in a long time."

"Yeah, me either."

As Paul stared out at the waves, he suddenly thought about the night they had come here for a swim, and they ended up having sex. Glancing at Leah, he decided he better think about something else . . . anything else right now. He looked down the beach and noticed Embry and Quil with Claire. He elbowed Leah and pointed them out to her.

"Awww, isn't that cute. Quil and the little wifey playing in the sand," Leah commented.

"Ooh, gross. Don't put that image in my head. She's a little kid!"

Leah just laughed. "I know. But when you run with him, all you feel is such . . . adoration from him. He ADORES that kid. It makes me sick, really."

"Yeah, I know. It's the imprint thing. It's the same with Jared and Sam. I can't fucking stand it. Man, I don't want that. Not at all. Is there a way you can prevent imprinting? Like maybe a spray that you can use to repel it? Like bugs?"

Leah laughed really hard at that. "I don't know, but maybe you should invent that."

"Yeah, you laugh. You don't have to worry about it." Then Paul thought about that. "Or, do you? Do girl wolves imprint?"

Leah shrugged, "I don't know. I doubt it."

"Why?"

"Because, Paul, I'm a genetic dead end. Imprinting is all about making stronger wolves for the pack, blah, blah, blah. If I were capable of that, don't you think Sam would have imprinted on me instead of Emily? Then I became a wolf, the only female werewolf ever! How would that work with me being pregnant? How would I phase? And since I phased, I don't have periods anymore, so obviously my lady parts aren't working like they're supposed to, but it's not like I can go to a doctor and have them checked out." Leah sighed as she laid back on the towel and looked at the sky. "I'm pretty much destined to be alone, I think."

It killed Paul to hear her talk like that. He loved watching Leah with Travis . . . she was so good with kids. There had to be a way for her to be a mother someday. Paul turned to his side and propped himself on his elbow to look down at her. "I don't think so. So your body is frozen right now, but it doesn't mean it will always be. And besides, you'll always have me, buddy."

Leah smiled up at him, very grateful for his reply. "Thanks, buddy."

"Hey, enough of this. Let's go for a swim," Paul suggested as he pulled his t-shirt off and stood up to hold out his hand to her.

"Fine, whatever." Leah took it and allowed him to haul her to her feet. She slipped her shorts off and pulled her tank top over her head and stood before Paul in a bright orange bikini. The orange stood out against her dark skin, and the bikini top fought to contain her breasts. Paul struggled to breathe as she shook her hair out before gathering it up into a pony tail and securing it with the elastic band. Suddenly his heart was beating just a little faster.

"OK, let's go," Leah said lightly as Paul just stood there, gawking at her. She waved her hand in front of his face. "Hello? Paul? Let's go."

Shaking his head, Paul mumbled, "Yeah, OK," and tried again to breathe. Leah had no idea how sexy she was right now, and that just made her all the sexier. Paul felt himself growing hard and decided he better get to the cold water fast. He took off running for the water and Leah followed.

Paul dove into the waves and started pulling himself through the cool water. He was feeling a little better as he came up for air and treaded water as he looked around for Leah. Suddenly he felt a tug on his shorts, but he made a grab for them a little too late. He laughed out loud as Leah surfaced with a triumphant smile on her face.

"Aha! Payback is hell, my friend!" Leah shouted.

"Come on, Leah. When I did that to you, there was no one here. You can't expect me to walk out of the water naked in front of all of these people? You want me scare all of the little kids?" Paul whined.

Leah was still laughing as she started to swim away from him. Paul immediately went after her and caught her around the waist, his huge hands resting on her bare skin. She turned to face him and her smile faded as she gasped when she looked into his eyes . . . they were dark with desire and . . . something else. Before she could speak, his lips captured hers and she was lost. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed his hardness into her stomach.

Leah opened her mouth to his tongue and as it gently explored, she felt her excitement building. Paul broke from her lips to whisper in her ear, "You have no idea what you do to me, Leah. Seeing you in this bikini almost killed me."

"Can you get us to a place where you can touch the bottom?" Leah whispered back.

Paul pulled back to look her into the eyes and seeing the desire there, quickly nodded then moved through the water toward the rocks to give them more privacy. As soon as he could touch bottom, he took his bathing suit from Leah's hand and whipped it behind her so she could lean back against the rock as he lifted her into his arms. Leah surprised him by reaching down and wrapping her hand around him and giving him a tug and as Paul gasped, she smiled. He again captured her lips and as he kissed her, she moved her bikini to the side enough to allow Paul access. He pushed inside and found her so tight in the water that he was filled with an ecstasy he had never known.

The feeling of him inside her with the water moving all around them was such a turn on. "Oh, Paul . . . fuck . . . you're so hard." Their mouths devoured each other as Leah squeezed her legs tightly around Paul's waist. He had his hand inside her bikini top and was running his thumb over her nipple and it made her whole body sing. Leah threaded her fingers into Paul's hair and pulled as he pumped her over and over. "Fuck, Leah . . . I'm going to cum already," he groaned.

"Don't stop . . . not yet," she commanded as she moved with him then finally, she burst free and felt both of their bodies shake. "Oh my God, Paul. That was fucking amazing," she panted.

Paul leaned back to look into her eyes and he smiled as he struggled to catch his breath. "I've never done that before. I have no words to describe how that felt."

Laughing, Leah held up his bathing suit. He took it from her as he pulled out of her and set her down. "Can you touch here?" he asked. Leah stretched her legs out and nodded as her toes hit the sand. Paul slipped his trunks back on and then dunked under the water. As he broke the surface, he shook out his hair and wiped his hand over his face.

Leah watched him and thought she had never felt so happy and free in her life. All the shit she had been through in the last few months . . . losing Sam, her dad, turning into a giant wolf . . . she hadn't realized how heavy it had all been to carry. And now, she felt lighter, freer.

"Leah? You OK?" Paul asked.

A huge smile come to her face, as Leah answered, "Yeah, Paul, I am. I feel better than I have in a very long time."

"Me, too," Paul grinned. "I never thought I could ever be this happy."

They finally made it back to the shore where each of them flopped down on the blanket and spent the rest of the afternoon lazing on the beach, Paul even napping for awhile. As Leah watched him sleep, she tried hard to push down those feelings for Paul that were starting to surface. Protecting her heart was her main priority here. When she first starting hanging out with Paul, she never thought this would be a problem. But she didn't think he would turn out to be so funny and sweet and so, so sexy. Leah sighed as her eyes fluttered closed. She was scared as hell, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from being with him. She was finally happier than she had been in so long, and it felt good.

After his nap, Paul suggested they spend some time with Embry, Quil and Claire, so they made their way over and Leah sat down next to Claire. "Hey, Claire. Can I help?" Leah asked as she picked up a shovel and stared digging sand. Claire nodded and handed her a bucket.

Paul watched Leah with Claire and thought about what she had said earlier about her not being able to have children. He found himself hoping that wasn't true. Seeing her smile and play with Claire, and knowing how good she was with Travis . . . he realized she could be a really good mom. Better than his for sure.

While Leah and Claire built their castle, the guys played in the surf. Quil made his way back and Claire ran to him yelling his name. Leah smiled as Quil scooped her up and tickled her. For some reason, it made her wonder about Paul and what kind of a father he might make. She loved watching him with Travis. If that was any indication, he would make a great dad someday. _Why was she thinking about kids and Paul together? Get a grip, Leah!_

"It's getting late, Leah. We better go." Paul said as he walked up behind her. When she didn't move, he said again, "Leah?" then squatted down beside her and touched her on the arm and smiled as she jumped. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Turning his head, Paul realized what Leah had been watching so intently. _Oh, Claire_.

"What?" Leah asked.

"You ready to go?" Paul asked again softly.

Smiling, she nodded, "Sure."

The little party broke up and Paul walked Leah went back to his car. Once they were on the road, Paul said, "Hey, Leah?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't give up, OK?"

Leah squinted at him. "Give up on what?"

"On having kids. It could still happen someday. All this wolf shit . . . none of us really knows exactly what's going to happen to us. Just . . . don't give up." His hand rested on Leah's knee and she smiled as she laid her hand on top of his.

"Thanks. That's really sweet."

"Oh God, don't tell anyone else that. Especially Jared. He'll never let me hear the end of it."

Leah snickered. "You just keep amazing me, Paul. You can act like such a jerk with everyone, but with me . . . you're so . . . different." Her eyes softened as she promised, "I'll keep your secret."

"You better," Paul grinned.

"What about you? Have you ever thought about kids? Oh wait, you're a confirmed bachelor. No wife, no kids, I forgot."

Glancing at her, Paul surprised himself by saying, "Oh, I don't know. I never thought I would want kids, but . . . now with the boys living with us, and spending time with Trav . . . sometimes, I have to admit, I kind of think about it."

That made Leah smile. "Good. Keep thinking about it."

Paul smiled back and wondered why they were talking about kids. It was making him a little uneasy.

Leah decided she wanted to shower before she went to the bonfire, so Paul drove to her house. After he parked the car, he turned to her. "I have to leave the car at home for Grandma, so, I guess I'll meet you at the bonfire?"

"Yep. See you there," Leah answered then she just sat there and looked at Paul for a moment. "I had a really good day at the beach. Thanks for going with me."

"Me, too. Thanks for asking me." Paul leaned toward her and kissed her gently on the lips then she touched his face and kissed him back. As Paul stared into her eyes, he asked, "What's going on here, Leah? With us?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I try not to think about it. I'm afraid if we analyze it and pick it apart, we'll ruin it. I just want to be and to feel, OK? Let's not think."

Paul smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I agree."

"OK, see you in a little bit," Leah said as she opened the car door.

"See ya," Paul called out then he watched Leah walk to the door and disappear inside. Taking a deep breath, he put the car in gear. This thing with Leah was scaring the hell out of him, and yet . . . he found it more exciting every day.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

I'VE JUST SEEN A FACE 

"Grandma! I'm leaving . . . see you later!" Paul called out as opened the front door.

"OK, Paul. Have fun!" Ruth called back as he smiled and closed the door. He hadn't been looking forward to tonight until he spent the day with Leah. _The image of her in that bikini . . . and then later, in the water . . ._ he couldn't get it out of his mind! That was the hottest thing he had ever done with a girl.

Since Paul was leaving his car here for his grandma, Jared had offered to stop and pick him up, so he jogged over to the car and hopped into the back. "Thanks for the ride, bro. Kim, you look gorgeous as ever."

Jared looked at Paul and asked, "You hitting on my girl?"

Kim smacked him and said, "Why thank you, Paul. You look quite handsome yourself."

Paul smiled as Jared rolled his eyes. "You're awfully chipper tonight. What's up with that?" Jared asked as he took off and drove them to the beach.

"Just had a good day, J," Paul replied cheerfully. They had started calling each other J and P when they were kids, but they hadn't used those nicknames for a long time.

Jared glanced at Paul in the rear-view mirror and smiled. He knew that Paul had gone to the beach with Leah. "Uh-huh. I know that look. You only look that smug and that happy when you've had sex. Fess up, P. You and Leah hooked up, didn't you?"

Instead of denying it, Paul just laughed then leaned back and folded his arms behind his head to say, "All I'm saying is: Best. Day. Ever."

Jared smiled and looked at Kim. "I think that was a yes." She just shook her head at him as he chuckled.

Jared parked in the lot and Paul crawled out of the back. Kim had made some food, so she loaded Jared and Paul down with all kinds of dishes and pans covered with foil. They made it to the picnic table that was set up near the bonfire and then Emily took their food and set it out, saying, "Thanks, guys."

"Sure. Wow, everything looks good," Jared said as he picked up a deviled egg and shoved into his mouth.

Emily smacked his hand as he reached for another one. "Wait until everyone is here!"

Jared grinned and stole another egg as soon as she turned her back. Paul just laughed as he walked away to see if Leah was here yet. Suddenly, he found himself excited at the thought of seeing her again. Looking around, he saw Sam putting wood on the fire, and Embry and Quil just walking up. Collin and Brady were throwing a football back and forth, but he didn't see Leah or Seth yet. Billy wasn't here yet nor was Sue. He wondered if Billy would come tonight. It was hard for him with Jake gone, even though he knew that Sam went over and looked in on him everyday, and Sue and Emily made sure he had enough food to eat. He knew Billy had to be lonely.

Paul turned away from the crowd and walked to the edge of the water to look out at the waves rolling in. It made him remember this afternoon with Leah and as his jeans started to get a little too tight, he decided maybe he should try and think of something else. Suddenly he felt a huge hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Paul. Can we talk?"

He turned to see Sam standing there. "Hey, Sam. What's up?"

"I'd like to know what the hell you think you're doing with Leah."

Paul narrowed his eyes and stared at Sam. "Why is it any of your business? If I remember, you gave up that right when you dumped her for Emily."

That got Sam's anger up. "You know I didn't _dump_ her. I imprinted. Doesn't mean I don't still care about her. She's off limits, Paul. You got that?"

Paul got up in Sam's face. "Are you fucking serious? You can't have her so no one can, is that it? What an arrogant son of a . . . "

Sam stopped him by putting his hand on Paul's chest and giving him a little shove. "I said stay away from her." Paul snorted which pissed Sam off. "I swear Paul, if you so much as lay one finger on her . . . "

Paul grinned smugly and said, "Oh it was more than a finger. And she begged for more."

Fury burned in Sam's eyes as he threw his fist toward Paul's face. Paul ducked, but didn't expect the other fist to come up into his gut at the same time and knock the wind out of him and disgustedly he hit the sand with a thud. As Paul gasped for air, Sam spit out, "Stay away from Leah," then he walked away.

Paul rolled over onto his back as Jared ran over to look down at him and ask, "What the hell was that all about?" Throwing out his hand, he helped Paul sit up then said, "Oh, right. Leah."

Paul just glared over at Sam, hating the fact that he had gotten the best of him. "Damnit!" he wheezed. "Fucker can't even fight fair!"

Jared could see that anger building as he begged, "Paul, come on. Not here in front of everyone, OK?"

Paul pulled against Jared's hold on him. "Let me go, Jared! I need to show him he can't kick my ass in front of everyone and get away with it. It's none of his business WHO Leah sleeps with! It's hers and mine."

Jared refused to let up on his hold until Paul finally relented and calmed down. "You OK?"

Paul looked at him and nodded then got up and dusted himself off. "I've had enough of his shit. I'm going home."

"Aw, come, on, Paul. At least have something to eat first. Leah's not even here yet. Wait for her, OK?"

_Leah._ Paul sighed, "Fine. Let's get some food."

Jared patted his shoulder and they walked together to the food table. Paul filled a plate and walked over to an old log and sat down on it to eat. Taking a huge bite of hot dog, he looked around again for Leah. _Where the hell is she?_

Just then he noticed that Billy had decided to come after all. Sam and Quil were carrying his chair through the sand to sit him near the bonfire. _Huh, good for him_, Paul thought. Then he noticed a girl that he had never seen before walk up and lean down to say something to Billy. She smiled and then straightened to gaze out at the water. All of a sudden, everyone disappeared and all he could see was her. She was tall, dark-skinned and thin, but with curves in all the right places, wearing a yellow sundress that showed off her long legs and he watched in awe as a few strands of her long black hair blew across her face and she moved her hand up to brush it away. Paul felt as if the earth moved, and he was left shaken to the core.

After awhile, Paul felt someone shaking him, but it took him awhile to come back to earth and respond. "Paul. Paul. Hey!" Finally he blinked and turned his head to look at Jared. "What?" he asked foggily.

"What's with you, man? Did you hit your head when you hit the sand, or what? I asked you if you wanted this Mt. Dew."

"Oh, uh, yeah, sure." Paul shook his head to clear it and then looked over at Billy again, but there was no girl there now. _What the hell had just happened to him? Did he just imagine seeing her? _Popping the top of the Mt. Dew, he took a long swig and begged his body to calm the fuck down.

"Hey did you see Rachel was here? She's home from college," Kim said as she sat down next to Jared.

"Oh yeah. I saw her come in with Billy," Jared answered as he bit off half of his hot dog.

Hearing their conversation, Paul turned toward Kim and said, "There _was _a girl with Billy?"

"Yes, she's getting some food," Kim replied.

"And who is she?"

"It's Rachel. She's one of Jake's older sisters. She's been at Washington State for the last four years and she just graduated. I guess she's home for a visit before she goes out into the world on her own. His other sister lives in Hawaii, I think. They're twins."

Paul just nodded, his food totally forgotten. _Rachel. Her name was Rachel_. "Paul? You look sick. Are you feeling alright?" Kim asked as she touched his arm.

"Yeah, um, I feel weird. A little dizzy."

Jared looked at him and asked, "Paul? Talk to me, dude. Tell me what happened." Kim shot him a look. She knew where he was going with this, but she stayed quiet.

"I have no fucking idea. I mean, I looked up and saw her and . . . it was like everyone else just disappeared and all I could see was her . . . her eyes, her hair, her body . . . I felt like the earth moved . . . I don't know, it was all so fucking weird."

Jared broke out a laugh. "Oh man. I've been waiting for this day for so long!"

Paul whipped his head around and said, "What? Why?"

"You imprinted, bro! Finally!" Jared kept laughing as Paul felt like his whole world had just shattered. _Imprinted . . . Imprinted . . . Imprinted . . . _that word just kept echoing inside his head. Paul stood up, letting his plate fall into the sand as he looked around in a daze wondering what to do, where to go. Suddenly, he couldn't breathe . . . his chest was so tight. His mind was filled with the vision of Rachel . . . his body was telling him to find her, but his brain was shouting at him to run.

"Hey, dude." Jared stood up and grabbed Paul's shoulders. "It's OK. I'll help you through this. Come on, we'll go talk to her."

"NO! No. I don't want this, Jared. I don't fucking want it!" Paul jerked away from him then yelled, "Damnit, Jared. If you had let me leave when I wanted to, this wouldn't have happened. Don't you get it? For the first time in my life, I was FINALLY happy. And now . . . it's all gone." His voice faded, "It's all gone."

"Paul, look, I'm sorry. I should have, I guess . . . " Jared started, but Paul didn't want to hear it.

"I need to get the hell away from here." And with that, Paul gave into his urge to flee and turned and bolted for the woods. He ran as hard and as fast as he could to get away, all the time this pain in his chest getting stronger and stronger. Finally he fell onto the ground and just lay there gasping for air before he rolled over and puked his guts out. As he lay there heaving, and crying, he wished with everything he had that he could die right now and end this nightmare. 

"Jared? Where's Paul? Have you seen him?" Leah asked. They had been late getting here because she and her mom had to pack up all the food she had spent the day making. After carrying it all down from the car, she finally had a chance to look around for Paul.

Kim gave Jared a look as he took a deep breath . . . he had no idea how to tell her. He didn't want to be the one to drive the stake through her heart . . . again. "What?" Leah prompted. "Is something wrong? It's not his grandma is it? Or his brothers?"

"Just tell her," Kim whispered.

Jared shook his head as he took another deep breath then said as fast as he could, "He was here, Sam hit him, he imprinted then he left. Can I get anyone something to drink?" He jumped up to leave and Kim grabbed his arm and jerked him back down.

Leah squinted at Jared. "What? You want to say that a little slower this time?"

Looking over at Kim, then back to Leah, Jared finally said, "He rode here with us. Um, Sam confronted him about you, and what's going on between you and Paul."

"That's none of his damn business," Leah spouted.

"That's pretty much what Paul told him, I guess, because Sam punched him in the gut and knocked the wind out of him. Then he told him to stay away from you and walked away. I helped Paul up and told him to cool down. I didn't think he should go after him in front of everyone."

Leah was boring holes into Sam with her glare as Jared talked. He was standing near the water with Emily, just talking and smiling at her. Her anger was building near the breaking point. _How dare he tell ANYONE to stay away from her? He had NO fucking right! _

Turning away from Jared and Kim, Leah marched straight over to Sam, where she grabbed his arm and jerked him around to face her. "Who the hell do you think you are telling someone to stay away from me? Why do think you have the right to be in charge of who I'm friends with and who I spend my time with?" Leah shouted at him.

"Hello, Leah. Can we maybe have this conversation in private?" Sam said in a lower even tone.

Leah did lower her voice just a touch as she replied, "No, Sam. We will have it right here and right now. HOW DARE YOU! I will spend time with whoever I want and you have NOTHING to say about it. Do you get that? Nothing!" Leah shouted as she shoved her finger into his chest for emphasis.

"Look, Leah, I don't think its a good idea for you two to . . . " Sam lowered his voice, "to have relations. It's not good for the pack. That's all."

Leah's mouth fell open as she stared at Sam. "Oh my God, did you just use the word . . . 'relations?' Really, Sam? Are you that embarrassed to say sex?" Leah said in awe. "And for the record, I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with what's good for the pack."

Sam grabbed her arm as she turned to go. "Leah, wait. We need to talk about this."

Jerking her arm away, Leah hissed, "Don't you dare touch me. You gave up your right to touch me a long time ago." Leah turned again to leave and at the last minute, whipped around and threw her fist into Sam's jaw then watched with satisfaction as he hit the ground. Leaning over him, she said, "THAT was for what you did to Paul." Then she straightened up and walked back toward the bonfire shaking her now throbbing hand.

Emily immediately bent down to tend to Sam and helped him up as everyone else just stared in disbelief. Seth met Leah halfway, his eyes practically bugging out of his head. "Are you fucking crazy? You hit Sam!"

"Step aside, little brother, or you'll be next."

"Shit, Leah. What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong is everyone trying to run my life. It's MY life, damnit, and I will live it like I want to."

"This has to do with Paul, doesn't it? Sam found out about you two."

Leah stopped and looked him in the eye. "Did you tell him?" Seth wouldn't look at her, his classic sign for trying to hide something. "Oh my God, Seth, you did, didn't you?"

"I didn't mean to! We were on patrol and I was pissed, and I let it slip. I'm sorry, Leah."

Leah sighed and tried to stay calm. This was her little brother . . . she needed to cut him some slack. Just not right now. She pushed past him and made her way back to Jared and Kim.

"Oh my God, Leah! That was fucking awesome!" Jared exclaimed.

"Don't think I've forgotten our conversation, Jared. I know that's not why Paul left. So, why did he leave?"

Jared smiled quickly disappeared as he looked at Kim. "I can't do it. I can't tell her."

Kim gave him a look of disgust then looked at Leah. "Leah, there is no easy way to tell you this, so I'm just going to say it. Paul imprinted tonight. On Jake's sister, Rachel. She's home from college and she came here with Billy. When Paul saw her, he imprinted. It upset him so much that he ran out of here as fast as he could without even talking to her." Kim put her hand on Leah's arm, and added softly, "I'm so sorry."

Leah stood there in shock, not moving, not breathing. _Imprinted, imprinted, imprinted . . ._ That word kept echoing around in her head until she thought she might pass out.

"Leah? Are you alright?" Kim asked.

"Um, I don't know," Leah finally said, her voice shaking as she tried desperately to hold on to her sanity. She had tried so hard to keep herself from loving Paul because of this very reason. She swore she would never go though the pain of losing someone ever again. And now . . . here it was, staring her in the face . . . again.

Leah closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself . . . she was shaking now and she couldn't seem to stop. Jared finally stepped up to put his arm around her and lead her over to the old log where Paul had been sitting when he imprinted and made her sit down as Kim ran to get her some water. "Leah? Paul didn't want this. I know he didn't. And he never told me in words, but I know how he feels about you. I'm really worried about him. I don't know what he'll do."

Leah looked at Jared and nodded. She wasn't sure what he would do either. Suddenly she was scared for him. "I have to find him."

"Here, Leah." Kim handed her a bottle of water. Leah unscrewed the cap and gulped some down then she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and pushed the bottle back to Kim. Sitting there, Leah finally willed her body to calm down and she began thinking about Paul. The more she worried about him, the less she cared about her own feelings.

Leah stood up and announced to them, "I'm going to find him. Did he phase?"

"No."

"Which way did he run?"

Jared stood and pointed. "That way. Want me to help you?"

Leah shook her head. "No. This is something we need to deal with alone." As Jared nodded, she touched his arm and added, "But thanks."

Then Leah turned to Kim. "Thanks for telling me."

"Sure," Kim replied with a small smile.

Leah left them and took off in the direction that Jared pointed, flying through the trees. She ran as hard as she could, fighting back the tears that threatened then slowed as she saw him. He was lying on his back on the ground in a small clearing, looking so defeated. Leah walked to him and kneeled down in front of him. "Paul . . . Paul. Look at me."

Paul finally opened his eyes and looked at Leah and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He looked so broken. His eyes were red and there was no light in them like there had been earlier at the beach. "Oh Paul," she said softly, her voice breaking as she lay down beside him and did her best to get her arms around him. Then she held him as her tears ran down her face and onto his arm.

Paul knew she would come. He had been laying here just waiting for her to come and find him. Laying here in Leah's arms, he tried to find solace, but there wasn't any. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was _her_ - Rachel. _Her face as she smiled and her hand brushing the hair from her face_. _He didn't even know her! He didn't know what her voice sounded like or how she smelled, or how soft her skin was . . . how could he love someone he knew nothing about?_

_He knew all of those things about Leah. Every one. And more._ _He knew she always picked the pepperoni off of her pizza and ate them first, then the pizza. She would say that her favorite movie was _The Bourne Identity_, but he really knew it was _Pride and Prejudice_. Her hair always smelled like flowers and sunshine and the skin right at the base of her back was soft as silk. And her laugh . . . her laugh floated on the air and always made him feel happy._

Paul had never wanted to love anyone. He didn't want to be tied down, or have one more person depend on him. Yet, here he was . . . just realizing that he was madly in love with Leah and now . . . there was Rachel. _God, I want to die._

Finally forcing himself to sit up, Paul said, "Leah, I'm so sorry . . . "

Leah stopped him by putting her hand on his mouth. "Don't. Don't apologize for something you can't control." Sitting up, she looked him in the eye. "I always knew this might happen. Why do you think I told you I wouldn't love you? I told you I didn't want to think about what we had . . . I just wanted to go with the feeling. I am not going to let this kill me, Paul. I won't, I promise."

Hearing Leah say those words just ignited Paul's anger. "But what about me? You're taking this so calmly. I can't stand it!" he shouted. "I don't fucking want this. I can't do this. This is BULLSHIT!" Finally hauling himself off of the ground, he stood there, hands on his hips staring out into the forest.

Leah pushed herself to her feet to demand, "Paul, look at me." He wiped his face with his hand and then turned his head toward her as she said, "There's nothing you can do. You have to accept this. You HAVE to."

Paul's hands shot out to grip Leah's upper arms, to give her a shake as he yelled, "No, I don't! I WILL fight this! I will NOT give in." Then he dropped his head and took a deep breath before he looked back at Leah and gently took her face into his hands to say, "If I had to imprint, why couldn't it be you? I know you, everything about you. I like hanging out with you, talking to you. You're cool and funny and beautiful, and sexy as hell. I didn't want to love ANYONE, but I finally realize . . . I already do."

Leah felt tears come to her eyes again as she shook her head slowly back and forth. "Don't, Paul."

Not letting go, Paul begged, "Help me, Leah. Help me fight this," before he crushed his lips onto hers in a fierce kiss. As Paul moved his lips over Leah's, Rachel's face floated into his mind. Suddenly, he could barely breathe as his chest tightened. Pulling away, he looked at Leah and she could see the fear in his eyes.

Paul took a deep breath and jerked Leah roughly to his chest and kissed her again . . . and again and again and again trying as hard as he could to focus on just her, but Rachel kept coming into his mind and then this pain squeezed his chest. Paul finally pushed Leah away and fell to his knees, feeling as if his chest would explode!

"Paul? Are you alright?" Leah asked anxiously as she kneeled beside him. She could tell something was very wrong.

"No, I'm not. I . . . can't. Fuck, it hurts," he managed to get out as he rubbed his chest and curled into a ball on the ground.

"I have to go, Paul. I won't hurt you like this. I won't have you be in pain because of me."

"No! Don't leave me, Leah. Don't go! Just let me catch my breath."

"I'm going to move away for a few minutes." Leah thought if she put some distance between them, the pain would go away. Walking out of the clearing, she leaned against a tree to try and collect her thoughts. _So this is what Sam went through. Trying to be with me when he needed to be with Emily. _She closed her eyes. _All that hate I had for him and he was telling me the truth. He couldn't help it. He had no control over it. Just like Paul now._

The pain finally subsided and Paul stood up and took in a deep breath then announced, "OK. It's gone." Leah walked slowly back to him, but stayed a few feet away to hear him state evenly, "I fucking hate this."

Leah nodded, "I know. Me, too." Paul just stood there, looking so lost and for some reason, she blurted out, "I hit Sam."

It took him a few seconds for what she said to register. "What? You hit Sam. When?"

"Right before I came here. Jared told me what he said to you. He had no right to tell you to stay away from me, so, I hit him. Right in the jaw. Knocked him on his ass." Leah smiled as she saw a smile play at Paul's mouth. "Someone once told me I had a mean right hook."

That smile finally broke out as Paul said, "You do. I had a bruise for a whole day."

Leah sobered again to tell him, "Paul, I don't want you to fight it. I want you to give in to it. You have to."

Paul shot Leah a look that told her he wasn't giving up. "No. Look, I've been thinking . . . maybe I can stay away from her until she goes back to wherever it was she came from then it'll go away. Or, we can run away! You and me, we'll just get in the car and drive as far away from here as we can get."

Leah just stood there slowly shaking her head back and forth as he talked, new tears rolling down her cheeks. Paul ran to her and grabbed her shoulders. "Please, Leah! Come with me!"

"Don't do this, Paul. Please, don't do this to me."

Letting her go, Paul turned away from Leah and suddenly shouted out, "FUCK! Fuck this! Fuck it!" He stood there his whole body shaking with rage. After a minute or two, he finally calmed himself enough to turn back around and say, "Look, I'm sor . . . ", but he found himself alone. Leah was gone. Closing his eyes, he finally let his tears fall as he whispered, "I love you, Leah." 

Across the rez from Paul, at the Clearwater house, Leah walked into her bedroom and closed the door then leaned back against it, determined not to give into it this time. _I can't do this again. I can't. I have to be strong . . . stronger than before. _The tightness in her chest was bursting to be let free and yet she kept it inside. _I promised Paul I wouldn't let this kill me and I have to keep that promise . . . even though I'm not sure I can._

Leah's strength finally gave way as she slowly slid down the door to land in a heap on the floor. Closing her eyes, she saw Paul how he had been today on the beach . . _. so happy and carefree . . . relaxed, then playful . . . and then in the water . . . moving together like that in the waves, and holding onto his strong body as she . . . _her eyes slowly opened as she realized now, that body would belong only to Rachel. And that is when the floodgate opened and she sobbed as she emptied her heart of all her hidden feelings of love for Paul.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I'LL CRY INSTEAD

Paul finally made it home sometime around three, but spent what little of the night there was left tossing and turning. Horrible dreams kept him awake . . . _dreams of Leah drowning and not being able to reach her . . . dreams of kissing Leah, who turned into Rachel, who turned in Leah. _When he awoke in the morning, he felt more exhausted than when he went to bed. He finally sat up and put his head in his hands as he heard, "Good morning, Pauly. You came in late last night. Did you have a good time?" Paul looked up at his grandma as she set a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. "Oh my, have you been drinking? You look awful!"

Paul thought, _God, how I wished it was only a hangover. THAT he could deal with. _Reaching out for the coffee, he took a sip then said, "No, I haven't been drinking. I just had a really rough night."

Ruth sat down in the chair. "Talk to me, honey. What happened? Is it Leah?"

_Leah. Just to hear her name . . . _He took another sip of coffee then set the cup back on the table. "Yeah, it's about Leah, and me . . . and Rachel Black."

"Rachel Black? Didn't she leave to go away to college or something?"

"Yeah, she did. But she graduated and she came back for a visit and . . . I . . . imprinted on her last night."

Ruth's eyes grew wide as she asked, "What? Are you sure?"

Paul snorted. "I'm sure."

"Oh, no. Are you alright?"

Paul looked at and shook his head. "No, I'm not. I've never been so confused in all my life. I have all of these emotions rolling around inside and I don't know what to do with any of them. I finally, FINALLY realized how I really feel about Leah, and then . . . BAM! I look at some girl I never met, know nothing about and I'm feeling emotion for her that doesn't make any sense to me at all! How is this fair, Grandma?"

"It's not, honey, but life isn't always fair, I guess. Poor Leah . . . how is she?"

Paul ran his hand across his face before answering, "I don't know. I tried with everything I had last night to fight this thing . . . for her. But it's so fucking hard . . . and then she told me she didn't want me to fight it. She wanted me to give in, and that she would be alright. She's trying to be strong, I guess."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Like I have a choice? I mean, Rachel's probably a great girl - she just graduated college and she's beautiful and . . . everything a guy could probably want . . ."

"If he didn't already love someone else," Ruth finished for him.

Paul looked over at her, his eyes full of all the emotion that was churning inside and nodded. "Yeah."

Seeing how truly hurt he was, Ruth sighed. "Pauly, you got problems, I'll give you that. But, honey, I think Leah's right. You can't fight it. From what I've heard from Emily, imprinting is permanent. And look at how happy Sam and Emily are. And Jared with Kim. This could be a good thing for you. You'll have someone by your side that will always love you and take care of you. I worry about that, you know. When I'm gone, you'll need someone."

That's when Paul smiled. "Like you're going anywhere. You're too ornery to die."

Ruth laughed heartily. "Oh, I hope so. But you know, I'm not getting any younger, and you'll need help raising these boys."

Paul reached out and picked up his coffee again and gulped some down. "Speaking of the boys, are they up yet?"

"No. It's still early."

Paul suddenly stood up and announced he needed a shower then walked to the bathroom and closed the door. As he took a look at himself in the mirror he thought, _Grandma was right. I look like hell. _His eyes were bloodshot and there were dark circles under them. He looked like he had aged ten years in one night. Shaking his head, he reached over and turned on the shower then took a pee.

Paul climbed into the shower and as the hot water ran over him, Rachel's face kept floating into his mind . . . _the way she smiled, her hair blowing in the breeze, her laugh_ . . . he was so shocked at what was happening to him. Rinsing the shampoo from his hair, he leaned against the back wall of the shower to let out a deep sigh. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed to talk to Sam. He was the only one right now that could understand exactly what he was going through. _Although he might punch me again when he finds out how I really feel about Leah. _

Paul stepped out of the shower and dried off then wrapped a towel around his hips as he had to sneak into the boy's bedroom to get some clean shorts then back to the bathroom to dress. Once he brushed his teeth, he walked out to the kitchen where he kissed his grandma on the cheek. "I need to go and talk to Sam. He's the one person that knows exactly how I feel."

"Alright. I think that's a good idea. See you later, honey."

Paul opened the door and walked outside then stopped and thought about what he was about to do. As pissed as Sam was at him, he _was_ the only one who would understand. Paul jogged into the woods to strip off his shorts then phase into his wolf body. As he ran through the woods, he really hoped he and Sam could sit down and talk. They used to be good friends . . . and he really needed one right now.

_"Paul, dude. God, I've been so worried about you. Are you OK?" _He picked up Jared as soon as he phased.

_"What do you think?"_

_"Man, I am so sorry . . . "_

_"It's not your fault. I'm sorry I yelled at you last night. It could have happened anywhere."_

_"You saw Leah, didn't you?"_

_"Yeah. She told me not to fight it." _Jared saw it all play out as Paul remembered their talk.

_"Damn. You know, I remember when this happened with Sam. But we didn't understand imprinting then because none of us were wolves yet. We just thought he was being a dick, remember?"_

_"Yeah." _Paul did remember. He remembered going to Leah and talking to her by the waterfall right after it happened. He had kissed Leah that day . . . he had forgotten that until just now.

_"I remember wanting to beat the shit out of him. But now, well, now that it's happened to me, I get it. Kim is my world now. I couldn't live without her. But then, I didn't have anyone else before her, so I guess that's why I think imprinting is so great. But even for Sam, he gave into it and Emily makes him very happy. Maybe Rachel could do that for you, too."_

_"Don't even go there. I can't . . . not yet."_

_"So is that where you're going? To Leah?"_

_"No. I'm going to talk to Sam."_

_"Should I come as back up? You're not going to fight him, are you?"_

_"No, Jared. I need to talk to him. He's the only one that knows EXACTLY what I'm going through right now."_

_"Oh, yeah."_

_"I'll talk to you later, OK?"_

_"Yeah. Good luck."_

Paul phased and pulled on his shorts then approached Sam's house. The front door was open, as usual, so he walked up to it and hollered out, "Sam? You here?"

"Yeah. Come in." Sam answered.

Paul walked in and found Sam sitting at the kitchen table drinking some coffee as Emily baked cookies. When he realized it was Paul walking in, he stood up and stared at him. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you. But not as Sam, the Alpha. I really need my old friend, Sam."

They stared each other down for a few seconds, and then Emily said, "This is the last tray of cookies. I need to work out in the garden for awhile. That should give you two a chance to talk." She kissed Sam then looked at both of them and warned, "Play nice," before she walked down the hall and out the back door.

Sam nodded toward a chair across the table from him as an invitation to sit down, so Paul sunk down into it as Sam asked, "What's this about?"

Paul stared at his hands then finally said, "I imprinted." Then looking up at Sam he added, "Last night. On Rachel Black."

Sam smiled. "Oh."

"But that's only part of it. I need to talk to you because you are the only person that knows _exactly _how I feel."

"I'm not the only one who's imprinted. There's Jared and . . . "

"No, I know. I've already talked to Jared. That's not what I mean." Paul hesitated, hoping that Sam would be calm about this. "You are the only one who knows what it's like . . . to be in love with Leah and then imprint on someone else." Paul watched Sam for a reaction, but not getting one, he went on, "You were right last night. Leah and I are more than friends. And it's fucking killing me, Sam. I don't know how to deal with it."

Sam closed his eyes as his hands curled into fists. "Sam, look. I don't need you to be pissed at me right now. I need help, damnit! I can't help it. I didn't mean to fall in love with her. You know I never wanted to fall in love with anyone! We were just hanging out, she was my best friend, and then . . . I realized that suddenly we weren't just friends, that it was turning into something more, and then . . . this shit happens." Paul dropped his head into his hands and let out a long, ragged breath.

That's when Sam realized exactly how Paul felt. He remembered that feeling all too well. "I remember when I first imprinted, I was pissed as hell," Sam said softly. Paul lifted his head and nodded then Sam smiled. "And you have to remember, I was the first one to go through this. I had no fucking idea what was happening to me. I went straight to Billy and asked him and he explained it to me. Then I was really fucking pissed. I actually ran into the woods and took out a couple of trees. Didn't do my hands any good, but, well . . . " Sam shrugged and sipped his coffee before going on, "You know, me and Leah . . . we had been together for a couple of years. I met her when I was 16. She was everything to me. I was devastated not only at losing her, but I knew this would kill her. I tried to fight it, but . . . "

"Yeah, I did, too. I'm still trying."

Looking straight into Paul's eyes, Sam said, "Let me tell you, Paul. I couldn't do it. I failed. But, as you know, once I accepted it, I have never been happier. Emily is perfect . . . she's everything I could ever want or need."

"Yeah? Then why did you punch me in the gut for being with Leah?" Paul asked.

With a small smile, Sam answered, "Well, just because I love Emily with all my heart, doesn't mean I don't still care about Leah. I do, a lot. Probably more than I should. Having her hate me all these months . . . it's like a knife in the gut every time she looks at me with that pain in her eyes. And lately, that pain has been less and less . . . I guess that's because she has been spending time with you." Sam shrugged. "Maybe in some sick way, I was jealous. You think I want to think about someone else kissing her, or touching her?"

"No."

"How is she, by the way? Does she know?"

With a sigh, Paul replied, "Yeah. I told her I didn't want this. I never wanted to imprint - ever. It's like some fucking prison sentence. Leah . . . she's been holding back because she was so afraid this would happen. Every time I tried to talk about what was going on between us, she refused. Then last night . . . she told me not to fight it . . . to just accept it. She promised that she wouldn't let this break her, and . . . that killed me."

"So she's trying to be brave this time instead of falling apart. I can see her doing that."

"God, Sam. What am I going to do?" Paul looked him in the eye, pleading for an answer. The answer he wanted - how to break this imprint. "Is there anyway to break it? Nothing against Rachel, she seems like a great girl, but . . . "

"She's not Leah."

"No, she' not."

Leaning forward, Sam placed both hands around his coffee cup as he replied, "Well, I wish I could give you the answer you want to hear, but I can't. I couldn't do it, Paul, as much as I wanted to. I loved Leah . . . I wanted to marry her. But . . . the pain . . . it was too hard . . . and imprinting is forever as far as I know. Maybe you could talk to Billy," then he paused as he realized what he said and added, "oh, yeah, Rachel is his daughter."

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to Rachel yet?"

Paul shook his head. "But, Kim told me she's only here for a visit. Maybe if I stay away from her and she leaves, will the imprint go away, too?"

Sam took another sip of his coffee and thought for a minute. "I have no idea. I would assume that once she feels the imprint from you, she won't want to leave." Paul's head fell into his hands again. "Paul, look. Imprinting is not a prison sentence. It can be the best thing that ever happened, if you let it."

"But how . . . how did you forget about her?"

Sam looked him in the eye as he admitted slowly, "I didn't. She's still there . . . but I moved on. I had to put her in the past, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"So there's no hope for me, huh?" Paul asked.

Sam smiled, "I never had any hope for you anyway."

With a roll of his eyes, Paul grunted, "Whatever."

Sam chuckled before saying, "Find a way to talk to Billy. I don't know that he'll have any answers either, but it might make you feel better."

With a nod, Paul said, "Thanks, man. For being honest with me."

"Yep."

Paul stood up and pushed his chair then dropped a "See ya," as he turned to make his way out of the house and into the woods where he suddenly stopped and looked up at the sky. Paul wasn't a praying man, in fact, he had spent most of his life being pissed at God. But he was desperate and as most desperate men do, he decided to pray. With his eyes squeezed shut, Paul muttered softly, "God, help me. Help me find a way to be with the woman I love. Help me be with Leah." 

The next night, after supper, Paul found himself standing in front of the Black's house, contemplating whether to go in or not. He had decided that he needed to talk to Billy, but he was afraid he wouldn't be alone. Paul was afraid of seeing Rachel and having to talk to her. Just then, Rachel surprised Paul as she came around the corner of the house with a handful of wildflowers. "Paul, right?" Rachel asked with a smile and he silently nodded. "How are you?"

Her smiled melted Paul's heart and he felt the warmth go through his whole body. Fear of running into her almost kept him away, but talking to Billy was just that important to him. Finally realizing Rachel had asked him a question, he replied, "Uh, OK. You?"

"I'm fine. You here to see Dad?" Her voice was like a song . . . it was so musical to his ears.

"Yeah. Is he here?"

"Yes. Come on in." Paul followed Rachel inside, closing the door behind him as she called out, "Dad? Where are you?"

"Living room," Billy called back.

"I need to put these in water," Rachel said to Paul as she turned to go to the kitchen. With a nod, he forced himself to leave her side and walk on to the living room.

"Hey, Paul. How you doing? " Billy asked with a smile.

"Not good. I need to talk to you. Alone," Paul added as he nodded his head toward the kitchen.

"Sure. I'll be back." Billy wheeled himself toward the kitchen. "Honey? Did you happen to get to the drug store yet and get that prescription?"

"No, Dad, not yet."

"Could you go now before they close? And maybe pick up some of those cookies I like?"

Paul heard Rachel's laughter float into the room and it weaved around him and called to him. It took all the strength he had to make himself stay on the couch and not run to her as he heard her say to Billy, "Alright. I know when I'm not wanted."

"It's just tribe business, that's all."

"OK. See you later." Paul heard keys jingle and the door close and then Billy rolled back into the room.

"So? What is this about?"

"I imprinted," Paul stated simply as his eyes darted toward the kitchen.

Billy stared at him for a few seconds then asked, "On my daughter?" Paul nodded. "I see."

"Billy, no offense, your daughter is beautiful, and she seems very nice, but . . . I don't know anything about her! How can I be in love with someone I don't know? And . . . she's not who I want to be with."

Billy stared at him for a moment then finally understood why Paul was so upset. "Oh, so this is about Leah." Paul nodded and Billy went on, "I'd heard that you and Leah were getting close. But, I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell me there is a way the imprint can be broken. Tell me there's a way I can be with Leah."

Billy drummed his fingers on his chair. "Imprinting is complicated, Paul. Sam already went through this."

"I know. I talked to him. But, isn't she just here for a visit? What if she leaves? Does the imprint go away?"

"I don't know. It's never happened that way that I know of. Usually the girl responds to the imprint and they stay together." Looking at Paul, Billy asked, "That's not the answer you want, is it?"

Paul shook his head. "What if I fight it? What if . . . "

"Look, Paul. Sam tried everything, and he couldn't fight it, and he was with Leah a lot longer than you."

"I know that! But there has to be a way!" Paul stated angrily. He was sick and tired of everyone telling him to just give in and accept. He just didn't work that way.

Billy smiled at him. "What is it about Leah, huh? Poor girl. Twice now."

"Yeah, I know. Why can't we imprint on Leah? What is it about her? I mean, if the whole idea behind imprinting is to make stronger wolves then wouldn't it make sense to mate two wolves?"

"I don't know. Makes sense to me. The problem is we just don't know anything about Leah because there is no recorded history of any female wolves. I don't know why this keeps happening."

Deciding he wasn't going to get any real answers from Billy, Paul stood up to go as he wanted to get out of here before Rachel got back. "Well, thanks anyway, Billy."

"Look, I'll do some research . . . see what I can find out, but I can't promise anything. What are you going to do about my daughter?"

Paul put his hands on his hips as he answered, "Honestly, I don't know. I feel such a pull to be with her, but . . . I keep trying to hold back. All I know is that when I'm with Leah now, I feel physical pain. Is that the imprint? Trying to somehow tell me that Leah is the wrong girl or something?"

Billy nodded. "Yes, I suppose. You're stronger than the others. Sam, Jared, Quil . . . none of them could stay away from their imprints as soon as it happened."

"Maybe there's still hope for me then," Paul smiled. "Maybe I can stay a free man."

"Just don't hurt my daughter," Billy warned him.

"I'll try not to, I promise."

"OK. You take care, Paul."

"You, too." Paul walked out the door and toward the woods. Once there, he phased again and trotted through the forest. The talks with Sam and Billy really hadn't helped him as much as he had hoped. Rachel was still in his head, all the time, and he felt that constant pull to be around her, but he just kept fighting it. It caused a constant ache in his chest, but he ignored it as best he could.

Paul had no idea where he was headed until he looked up and saw that he was just outside Leah's backyard. His heart skipped a beat as he saw her sitting on the back porch step, writing in her notebook. He phased and quickly pulled on his shorts then stepped slowly out of the woods.

Leah felt him before she saw him. Slowly raising her head, she saw him standing there at the edge of the yard, still handsome, but not standing as tall and cocky as usual. This was the first she had seen Paul since . . . that night. As their eyes met and locked, Leah willed her breathing to slow. She had spent the last couple of days trying hard to stay busy and keep her mind off of him, and now, here he was, standing just a few feet from her and her heart was suddenly beating wildly.

Paul walked slowly toward her and stopped just in front of her to say quietly, "Hey, buddy."

Leah gave him a small smile. "Hey, buddy."

Paul moved to the steps and sat down beside Leah. "How ya doin?"

Willing her heart to calm down, Leah closed her notebook then answered, "I'm OK." Paul gave her a look that said he didn't believe her. "Really, Paul. I'm trying."

Paul sighed, "Well, that makes one of us."

"Have you . . . talked to her?"

"Yes."

"And?"

Paul shrugged. "And what? She seems nice. I don't really care."

Leah closed her eyes. "Paul, don't do this."

Instantly he was pissed. "Don't do what? Pretend I don't want to be with you? Pretend that I'm OK with having no fucking control over my own life?"

"You're just putting off the inevitable. Believe me, I know."

Paul turned to her. "Just because Sam was a pussy, doesn't mean I have to be. When she goes away, this will go away."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't. I'm just praying that for once in my sorry ass life, something actually goes right for a change."

Leah turned and looked him in the eye. "And if it doesn't?"

"I can't think about that right now."

Sighing, Leah allowed her head to fall over onto Paul's shoulder. He turned and closed his eyes as he took in the scent of her hair and whispered into it, "Leah." Suddenly, Rachel's face was there, before him and he began to shake. A stabbing pain radiated through his chest. "Damnit," Leah heard him mutter under his breath.

Leah lifted her head to look at Paul then he leaned over and kissed her lips and said, "I'm so sorry, Leah. I have to go." She nodded as he stood up and moved away. The pain subsided as soon as he was away from her. At the edge of the yard, Paul turned to look back at her. _God, she's so beautiful in the moonlight. _He knew then that he needed to say it . . . to make sure she really knew how he felt. "I never really said it out loud, but . . . I love you, Leah Clearwater. I just needed you to know that."

Leah held her breath as she tried hard to swallow her tears over the huge lump in her throat. She couldn't speak, she could only nod. Paul held his hand up in a wave then he turned and disappeared into the dark night, leaving her sitting there alone . . . the one thing he promised he'd never do.

Later, Leah lay tossing and turning in her bed. Finally, she disgustedly threw back her sheet and climbed out of bed. A glance at the clock told her it was still only 3 a.m. She couldn't believe how long this night was dragging on. Quietly she crept down the stairs and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. As she stood at the sink, gazing out the window, she decided maybe it would help to get out and run.

Leah left through the back door and headed into the woods. After stripping off her shorts and tank top and tying them to her ankle, she took off at a run and phased on the fly. It was quiet inside her head tonight with only Jared and Quil out on patrol.

_"Leah? What's up?" _Jared wanted to know.

_"Can't sleep. I thought maybe a run would tire me out."_

_"Yeah, I get that." _Jared hurt for both Paul and Leah, hating what had happened to them. Paul had finally seemed happy for the first time since they were kids. Leah made him happy and now . . . now he was more miserable than he had ever seen him.

Leah ran until for some reason, she found herself in the place where she had last talked to Jacob before he ran. She had heard that Sam, Embry and Quil had all been keeping tabs on Jacob as he wandered around out there, but he wasn't saying much. Still feeling bad about the things she said to Jacob before he left, Lean wondered_ . . ._

_"Jacob? You out there?" _Leah waited a little bit then said, _"Um, I just want to tell you that . . . I'm sorry for the things I said to you right before you left. They were really hurtful and I shouldn't have said them. You know, I'm the one person that probably knows best how you feel and I treated you like shit instead of trying to be understanding."_

_"Geez, Leah, what's gotten into you? That's TWO apologies you've given me now. I'm starting to worry about you," _Jake answered.

_"Maybe you should."_

_"You OK? You're in more pain now than when I left."_

_"Yeah, and you actually seem better. Maybe I should run away and stay wolf for awhile."_

_"Well, it's not all its cracked up to be, especially the diet, but I guess I've kind of found some peace, you know? What happened?"_

_"A bad case of__ deja__ vu. Same situation, different guy."_

_"Someone imprinted? I didn't know you were . . . wait, it's Paul, isn't it? Quil told me he thought Paul had a thing for you." _A rush of pain ran through her just hearing his name. _"Leah, man, I'm sorry. That's gotta suck."_

_"You'd think I would have learned, huh?"_

_"Who's the imprint?"_

_"You don't know?" _Leah didn't realize that no one had told him yet. She quickly tried to hide it then she heard, _"Are you fucking kidding me? My sister?"_

_"Uh, yeah. Didn't you know she was home from college?"_

_"Yeah, Embry told me, but apparently he left out that little fact."_

_"Look, Jake, Paul is devastated. You know he never wanted to imprint on anyone. He's trying to fight it. I guess he's hoping that when she leaves again, maybe it will go away."_

_"I don't think it works like that."_

_"Yeah, I don't either." _But she found herself wishing it would.

_"So you and Paul . . . how? Why?"_

Leah smiled to herself as she had asked herself that question at least a hundred times. _"I know everyone thinks he's such a jerk, but if you only knew more about him, you might understand him. His mother is a first-class bitch, and he's trying to help his grandma raise his two little brothers along with school and work and being a guard dog for the rez . . . he's exhausted. But after I spent some time with him, I found that he's really funny and loyal to his family and friends, and very sexy . . ."_

_"Yeah, OK, I get it. Now you got me half in love with him."_

_"I'm sure he'd be happy to hear that."_

_"But my sister? Why my sister?"_

_"I don't know. It just happened a couple of days ago, so . . . "_

_"Leah, I'm sorry. I can feel how much pain you're in. I know it well."_

_"I know you do, Jake. That's why I feel bad about what I said to you."_

_"Don't worry about it. It's forgotten."_

_"Are you coming home soon?"_

_"Actually, I'm on my way now. I found myself kind of heading that way and just decided it was time."_

_"It will be good to have you back. Yes, I admitted it. Go ahead, make fun of me."_

_"Oh I will when I get there. Give you something to look forward to."_

_"Gee, thanks. And, thanks for the talk, by the way. I owe you one now."_

_"OK. See you soon."_

Leah had been trotting through the woods toward home while they talked, and now she phased back into her human body and pulled on her shorts and tank top. She opened the back door as quietly as she could then crept back up the stairs to her room. As she flopped down onto the bed, she hoped she could finally sleep . . . and put Paul from her mind. And yet, she knew she was hoping for the impossible.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

HELLO GOODBYE

The prodigal son, Jacob Black, arrived back in La Push, stopped at home long enough to clean up, chop off his straggly hair, get dressed then rush off to watch the girl he loved marry a fucking bloodsucker. Living in the woods as a wolf did nothing for him as far as Paul was concerned. _What a fucking idiot. _

Paul was working his shift at the store when Jared stopped in to tell him. "Seth actually went to the wedding as a human! I couldn't believe it. What a stupid ass. I hope he comes home with all of his blood." Paul snorted at that as he put the milk in the cooler then Jared asked, "So, you think Jake will kick your ass for imprinting on his sister?"

Paul looked up to reply, "I hope he tries. I'm itching for a fight."

Jared didn't doubt it. Everyone else he knew who had imprinted fell head over heels right away. Not Paul. Never known for doing anything the conventional way, he was fighting it with everything he had, and it was making himself and everyone around him completely miserable.

"Paul, why don't you just stop this and spend time with her. Please. I know it's not what you want, but . . ."

"Jared, we are NOT having this conversation again. I swear if you try I will rip out your tongue and shove it down your fucking throat."

"OK, bro, I got it. No Rachel talk." Paul picked up the empty milk crates and carried them to the back room of the store as Jared followed him and asked, "So, when are you done with work? Wanna hang out tonight or something? Kim had to go visit her grandma with her folks."

"I don't think I'd make very good company."

"Well, yeah, I know that, but I'm willing to give you some charity," Jared told him with a grin.

Paul just glared at him.

"Paul, man, come on," Jared whined.

_This guy just won't give up! _"Look, Jared, I'm sorry I'm being such a dick. It's just . . . it's getting harder and harder for me to fight this fucking thing and it's driving me crazy! I think about Rachel all the time, I dream about her, and I find myself walking toward her house only to turn back at the last minute. I keep trying to bring Leah to my mind . . . to remember her laugh and how good her hair smells, and how it feels to kiss her . . . but it's getting harder and harder."

Jared put his hand on Paul's shoulder. "I'm sorry, dude, I really am, and I hate to keep sounding like a broken record, but . . . you need to just spend time with Rachel. I really don't think this is going to just go away. Go over there tonight. Just give it one shot."

Paul nodded then mumbled, "Yeah, maybe," just to get Jared off his back.

A smile broke out on Jared's face. "Good. I'll go bug Embry or something. Call me later and let me know how it goes. See ya."

"See ya." Paul shook his head and went back to work as he still had another half hour before he clocked out. As he worked, he thought about going to see Rachel then he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to push away the rush of emotion caused by just thinking about her. He was jolted out of his thoughts by someone tapping him on the shoulder. Turning, he was shocked to see Rachel standing there with a radiant smile on her face. "Hi."

Paul lost his ability to speak for a moment. He finally cleared his throat then returned, "Hi."

"I'm looking for a particular brand of toothpaste that my dad asked me to buy and I don't remember if he said it was here or at the drug store. He wrote it down, can you help?"

"Sure. Toothpaste, Aisle 4," Paul answered as he led her to the aisle and walked down to where the toothpaste was all lined up perfectly. Paul took pride in his shelves. "Let me see what we're looking for," he suggested.

Their hands touched as Paul reached to take the note and his fingers tingled where she had touched them and he jumped. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled.

Taking the note quickly, Paul tried to decipher Billy's horrible handwriting. "What is this? Is this an R or a P?" He held the note so Rachel could see it. Their heads were close enough for Paul to smell her hair . . . it smelled like coconut.

"Um, it looks like a P to me," Rachel answered softly, before looking over at him curiously and taking a step back. Why was she feeling so unsettled by this young guy?

Paul immediately turned to the shelf in front of them, found the toothpaste and held it out to her. "Here you go."

Rachel took it from him with a smile. "Thanks."

Not wanting to let her go just yet, Paul said, "So, I hear Jake finally found his way home."

Rachel shrugged, "Yeah. I didn't see much of him. He flew into the house, and was only there long enough to clean up, chop at his hair with the scissors then dress and leave again. You know Dad's best friend, Charlie Swan?" Paul nodded. "His daughter, Bella, is getting married today, and Jacob was in a hurry to get there."

"Yeah I heard. Kind of surprised me that he would have the guts to go considering he lost her to that blo, uh, other guy," Paul said.

"Oh, I didn't know it had gotten that serious for Jake. Poor guy. He always had a thing for her, even when we were kids. Our dads would throw us all together when they would go fishing, or whatever. I always found Bella a little weird, myself, but Jake would follow her around like a little puppy."

Paul snickered at that. Rachel had no idea how funny that really was with Jake being a wolf and all. They had slowly walked toward the front of the store while they were talking and now that they had stopped, Paul asked, "Why didn't you go to the wedding with your dad?"

"I don't know," Rachel shrugged. "He wanted me to, but . . . like I said, I was never close to Bella and I just didn't feel like going." Their conversation stalled, so Rachel said, "Well, thanks for the help. See you around."

Paul nodded and watched her walk to the check out lane as he automatically reached out to straighten some cans on a shelf. He was admiring her ass as she left the store when Pete came up behind him. "Friend of yours?" Paul jumped and Pete laughed. "Sorry. I see you were enjoying the view there."

Paul turned around and smiled at Pete. "She's Billy Black's daughter."

"Oh yeah. The one from college or the one that moved to Hawaii?"

"College."

"Huh. Never could tell them two apart. Well, anyway, you got time to help me move some boxes before you clock out?"

"Yeah, sure." Paul followed Pete to the back room and tried hard to push Rachel far from his mind. 

_"He almost killed Edward! I swear, I had to pull Jake off of him." _Leah was patrolling with Seth, Quil and Collin, and Seth was sharing with them what had happened the night before at Bella's wedding.

_"I can't figure out why he went in the first place, the fucking idiot. He left for all those weeks and then first thing runs back to her. I just talked to him and he sounded like he had smartened up, but I guess not." _Leah really thought Jake would come back stronger and wiser, but . . . love makes you do stupid things.

_"What pissed him off so much?"_ Collin asked.

_"Bella told him that Edward wasn't going to change her until AFTER the honeymoon," _Seth explained.

_"So?" _It was times like these that Collin showed how young 13 really was.

_"What do people usually do on a honeymoon, dipshit?" _

_"Seth! Come on, Collin is a little young for this conversation, don't you think?" _Leah scolded.

_"I may be young, but I know that people have sex on their honeymoon, Leah," _Collin insisted_._

_"Well . . . you shouldn't! You should still be playing with Legos and stuff like Seth did when he was 13. Or was that yesterday?"_

_"Very funny," _Seth interjected.

_"So they have sex. They're married now, shouldn't Jake expect that?" _Collin asked.

_"It's just . . . oh I can't." _Now Seth got squeamish.

So Leah explained, _"It's just that Edward is super strong as a vampire, and Bella is so fragile as we all know, having to save her ass all the time. Jake is afraid that when they have sex, the bastard will hurt her or worse, kill her."_

_"Oh. Gross."_

_"Yeah, I agree. Can we pick a different topic?" _Leah was so sick of Bella. Ever since she moved here, Leah's life had gone into the toilet. She could care less about Bella's honeymoon. It may be with a fucking leech, but at least she was getting one. Something Leah was pretty sure she'd never see.

_"Geez, Leah. Anything's better than listening to your moping. 'I'll never have kids. I'll never have a honeymoon.' Get over it already." _

Leah snarled at Seth, "_It's a good thing you're my brother, and that Mom still scares me or I'd rip out your tongue right now and shove it up your ass."_

Quil jumped in with, _"OK, kids. Enough fighting for today. Let's break it up."_

Not listening to Quil, Seth had to add, _"I hate that the bitchy Leah is back. There for awhile you were starting to be more like the sister I remember. Do us all a favor and don't fuck around with any of the other members of this pack, OK?"_

Leah leapt at him with her teeth showing and Quil nipped at her back to stop her. _"For God's sake, Seth, just shut your mouth, will ya? Don't you think she's suffered enough? Just go. You and Collin run the line again. Now!"_

_"Whatever." _Seth turned around and ran into the trees with Collin on his tail.

_"Calm down, Leah. If you want to kill him, do it at home, OK? Then I don't have to answer to Sam."_

Leah sat down and tried to control her anger. Seth was her kid brother and she loved him, but right now she hated every thought he had shared. Mostly because they were true.

_"Why don't you phase out and go home. We can handle it. We're almost off the clock anyway," _Quil suggested.

_"Thanks, Quil. Sorry I made fun of you for wearing a tiara at Claire's birthday party. You actually looked pretty cute."_

_"Ha, ha. See you later." _Quil then turned and ran in the same direction as Seth and Collin. Leah stood there for a few minutes making sure she was alone then she phased back into her human body. She shook for a few seconds as the phasing wore off then kneeled down to untie her clothes. As she dressed, she thought about Jake. It wasn't only that Edward could hurt Bella . . . Leah was sure Jake didn't want to think about him touching Bella in a way he never could.

At least Leah had experienced that with Paul and now she hated the thought that someone else would be running their hands over that body she loved. She would know what she was missing for the rest of her life. Paul had made her feel things Sam never did. Paul was so strong and then he would surprise her by being so loving . . _. stop it, Leah. It's over. It's gone._

Leah hadn't seen Jacob yet since he'd been home. For some reason, she felt a pull to go and see him now. Maybe they could wallow in their self-pity together. Letting out a sigh, Leah began jogging toward the Black's house.

As hard as he tried, Paul couldn't push Rachel from his mind. Talking to her at the store close enough to catch the sweet scent wafting from her hair, and hearing her voice and seeing her bright smile . . . it was driving him crazy. So, here he was, standing in front of her door, trying to get up the nerve to knock.

"Damnit! You fucking piece of shit!" Paul smiled as he heard Rachel swear from inside. For some reason, that surprised him. He quickly opened the door and walked inside to find Rachel in the kitchen standing in front of the sink under a spray of water coming up from where the faucet used to be.

"Need some help?" Paul asked with a grin.

Rachel jumped and whipped around and said quickly, "Yes! Help!"

Paul squatted down and stuck his head into the cupboard under the sink and turned the knob to shut off the water then he stood up and smiled.

"God, why didn't I think of that?" Rachel asked as she dropped the huge wrench she had in her hand and picked up a towel to wipe her face.

"So, um, what happened here?"

Rachel smiled and shook her head. "This stupid faucet has been dripping ever since I got here and apparently it doesn't bother anyone else but me. So, I decided I was going to fix it. But, as you can see, my college degree in communications taught me nothing about plumbing."

Paul laughed at that and said, "Hand me that wrench." Rachel smiled at him and he felt that rush of warmth go all through his body as she handed him the wrench and he went to work. He didn't know a lot about plumbing, but working at the store, Pete had taught him to fix a lot of things. It took him a little while, but he figured it out and actually put it all back together. "OK, try it now," Paul called from under the sink.

Rachel turned on the water and smiled. "It works," she called back as Paul crawled out from under the sink. He stood up and Rachel held out a towel for him to wipe his hands and as he took it, he squeaked out, "Thanks." The sight of Rachel standing there in front of him, the outline of her bra showing through the wet t-shirt that clung to her body, unsettled Paul more than he wanted it to. "I'm glad I showed up before you drown in here."

Rachel rolled her eyes then flicked a towel at him. "Yeah, now all I have to do is clean up this mess and Dad will never know."

"Where is your dad? And Jake?"

"Dad went fishing with Charlie, and I have no idea where Jake is. He doesn't talk much these days."

Paul nodded. He could understand that. He hadn't felt much like talking either lately. "Where's your mop? I'll help you get this cleaned up."

"In the closet around the corner."

Paul nodded and found the mop and the bucket and walked back to the kitchen. "I guess I should put some dry clothes on," Rachel observed.

"Go ahead. I'll finish up here," Paul offered, knowing he would be a lot more comfortable with her covered up.

Rachel finally gave in and disappeared down the hall as Paul mopped up the water. He was just emptying the last bucket full as she walked back into the kitchen, looking fresh in a pair of jean shorts and a red Nike t-shirt that probably had belonged to Jacob in his pre-wolf days.

"Wow, thanks. That didn't take long," Rachel commented as she gathered up all the towels.

"Oh yeah . . . I'm a pro. I mop at the store all the time." As soon as that came out of his mouth, Paul felt like an idiot. _Why did I say that? A mop pro? Oh my God . . . _

Rachel let out a tinkling giggle that surprised Paul then she told him she needed to put the towels into the washer. Paul watched her go then put the mop and bucket back into the closet. Rachel met him in the hall and asked, "Can I fix you something to eat? It's the least I can do to repay you for coming to my rescue."

"Sure. I'm hungry," Paul shrugged.

Making her way to the fridge, Rachel threw over her shoulder, "How about some chili and cornbread? I have some left from last night. It would only take a few minutes to heat up?"

"Sounds good."

Paul sat down at the table while Rachel pulled items from the fridge to make their meal. "So you're a friend of Jake's, right?"

He snorted at that. "Well, I don't know if Jake would say that, but yeah, I guess."

Giving him a strange look, Rachel went on to ask, "Well, can you explain to me what the hell is with him and Bella?"

Paul laughed. "I would if I could. None of us can figure it out. He chases after her like a little puppy and she kicks him every chance she gets. I feel bad for the kid, but sooner or later you have to stop chasing."

"I know! And she's married now, for God's sake. Dad told me Jake went there and made an ass of himself at the reception. I guess a couple of his friends had to drag him out of there so he wouldn't kill the groom! I don't know what's gotten into him. He certainly isn't the little brother I remember. The kid is HUGE!"

Rachel set a bowl of chili in front of Paul and then placed a plate of cornbread on the table. She poured them each a glass of iced tea then sat down with a bowl of chili for herself. "All of you are so big and buff. I know I don't remember guys looking like this when I lived here. I definitely would have thought twice about leaving."

Paul smiled as Rachel laughed even as she blushed a little. He supposed she was kicking herself about right now for admitting that out loud. "Yeah, so you think I'm buff?"

"Well, it's not like any of you try and hide it. You all walk around half naked."

"But you don't seem to mind."

Blushing again, Rachel said boldly, "Well, if you're going to show it off, I'm going to look."

Paul laughed again as she did. He had shown up here today in just shorts as he had been on patrol earlier. He hadn't done it on purpose, but he couldn't tell her that. They finished their meal and then Rachel brought out some blueberry pie. "Oh my God, Rachel. This pie is delicious," he said with his mouth full.

"Thanks. My mom taught me to make pie when I was little. I always think of her when I make it. Blueberry is my dad's favorite."

"You mom died when you were little, didn't she?"

A look of sadness crossed her eyes before she nodded, "Becca and I were almost 12 and Jake was 8."

"Must have been hard."

"Yeah, it was. It really was." Rachel stood up and set their bowls in the sink then poured them more iced tea. "How about you? You live with your grandma, is that right?" Paul nodded as he shoved in his last bite of pie. "Are your parents . . . gone?"

Pushing his plate back, Paul answered, "In a way. Neither of them should have been parents. My dad's in jail and my mom is a drug addict. She dumped me on my grandma when I was 5. Best thing she ever did for me." He drank some tea as Rachel said, "Oh. Sorry."

"It's OK," Paul shrugged. "A few months ago, she dumped off my little brothers, so my grandma and I are raising them now. They're 11 and 6. I hated them when they first got there. All they did was fight and scream at each other. But, they've kind of settled in now and we are all finally getting along." Paul was amazed that he had told her all that. Leah was the only one he had ever talked to about his family. _Leah . . . _there was that pang.

"Wow, that's great." Rachel gathered up the rest of the dishes and turned on the water to wash them. Paul stood up and grabbed a towel to help. "You don't have to do that. You've done enough here tonight."

"It's OK, I don't mind." They worked side by side doing the dishes and every now and then, Paul would get close enough to catch her scent. He found himself actually getting aroused at being this close to her. That hadn't happened since . . . _Leah_. Again that pang . . . suddenly he felt guilty for thinking of someone else in that way.

After they finished the dishes, Paul said, "I better go. I actually stopped by to talk to Jake, but . . ."

"Who knows when he'll be home," Rachel finished for him. Paul nodded then turned and walked toward the door. Opening it, he walked outside then Rachel caught his arm and stopped him. "Paul? Thanks, for everything. And . . . I really enjoyed talking to you. Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

Standing there, looking into her hopeful eyes, Paul felt overwhelmed with emotion. Before he knew what he was doing, he put one hand on her neck, drawing her closer, and as his lips touched hers, he felt an explosion inside. That first kiss was soft and experimental. His second kiss was longer as his hands moved to encircle her waist. Then his lips moved over hers more aggressively and his tongue grazed her lip to beg her to open to him, which she did. Before long, he had her up against the door and was practically assaulting her.

Rachel was in complete confusion as to what was happening. She had been attracted to Paul, and had even thought of kissing him, but now, she knew she wasn't ready for this. Rachel put her palms on Paul's chest and shoved with all her might.

Paul staggered back and looked at her, panting, trying to calm himself. Then he saw her face . . . she looked very confused and . . . hurt? "God, I'm sorry, Rachel. I don't know why . . . " he stopped. He did know. It was the imprinting, but he didn't want to tell her that. Not yet.

"Yeah, OK," Rachel muttered as she smoothed her hair out of her face and turned to go back inside.

"Rachel?" She stopped and turned around with the door propped open. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to get so carried away. It's, um, it's been awhile."

Paul was relieved to see her smile. "I get that. I'll forgive you. See you later." Then she closed the door and was gone.

Closing his eyes, Paul tried to get a hold of himself. _What the hell was that? _Shaking his head in disgust at himself, he finally sighed and turned to make the walk home. 

Leah had made her way to the Black's and was just ready to step out of the woods when she heard the front door open and she saw someone step outside. _Paul?_ Leah stopped and watched as Rachel walked out behind him and said something to him about _maybe we could do it again? _Then she watched in horror as Paul drew Rachel to him and . . . _kissed_ her. Not just once, but again and again until he put her up against the door and ran his hands over her body.

Tears ran down her face as Leah watched Paul, _her Paul_, kissing . . . . his _imprint._ His chosen one. _Not her. _Her body started shaking as she felt her heart shatter into a million little pieces. Finally, she found the strength to turn and run, flying through the trees as fast as she could go until she stopped on the cliff side. _Their place. _Plopping down in front of the little fire pit she had made for his birthday, Leah finally let out the sobs that she had been holding in.

After awhile, the flood of tears stopped and as she lay there on her back, looking up at the night sky, Leah made a decision. This time, she wouldn't just stay here and watch it all play out in front of her day after day. She was determined to find a way out of here. And she knew just what she wanted to do. Sitting up, Leah wiped her face with her shirt, then stood up a new and determined woman.

Running home through the woods as fast as she could go, Leah walked into her house through the back door where she found her mom in the kitchen. "Mom, we need to talk. I need your help." 

Paul spent the next couple of days trying to figure out what was going on with him. He had been way too aggressive with Rachel, and yet he couldn't help himself. He had never forced himself on a girl - ever! He never had to. All of the girls he had been with had been very willing, but he had never felt this way about any of them. It was almost . . . _primal_. It had to be the imprinting. He felt the need to . . . dominate her in a way and it scared the hell out of him!

Paul had never felt that with Leah. It had been so natural to be with her. _Leah . . ._ he missed her so much. Not just her body, which he ached for, but for her smile and laughter. He hadn't seen her since that night he sat with her on her porch a couple of weeks ago. But he would see her soon as he was on his way to a pack meeting right now. He picked up the pace in his excitement to see her.

Paul walked into Sam's backyard and looked around anxiously to find Leah was nowhere in sight, but Seth was here. Just then, Jared walked up. "Hey P! What's up? Haven't seen you in awhile."

"Yeah, I've been putting in extra hours at the store."

"How's it going with Rachel? Since you kissed her?" Paul had gone straight to Jared after that had happened and talked to him about it. Jared told him he had done the same thing with Kim and she wouldn't talk to him for days. After he learned how to hold himself back a little, things went better from there.

"I haven't seen her since."

"Come on, bro. Back on the horse, and all that. You can do it."

"Whatever. Have you seen Leah, yet?"

Jared sighed at Paul's question as he could hear the excitement in Paul's voice at the thought of seeing Leah. He hated to see Paul still so torn. But after today, maybe Paul would give that up. "Dude, I need to tell you something," Jared stated slowly. Paul stopped looking around for Leah and stared at Jared curiously, waiting for him to go on. Jared suddenly wished Kim was here to tell him. He hated to give bad news. Best to just get it out. "Paul, Leah's gone."

Paul's eyebrows furrowed as he asked, "Gone? What do you mean gone?"

Jared took a deep breath then explained, "Sam will probably be talking about her, so I wanted you to know first. She left . . . to go to college. Her mom went to the council and convinced them that Leah has been through enough and should have the chance to go to college like she had always planned."

"College? Where?"

"I'm not sure, but it probably says in here," Jared said as he pulled an envelope out of his pocket to hand to Paul. "Leah gave me this and told me to wait two days to give it to you. She's a mess, dude, and she said she had to say goodbye this way and that she hopes you'll understand."

Paul took the envelope from Jared and held it for a moment as the truth sunk in. _Leah's gone. She's gone and didn't say goodbye. _Just then, Sam called for everyone's attention. Paul shoved the envelope into his pocket, knowing he would want to read it in private and tried to listen to whatever it was that Sam was saying.

"First of all, welcome back, Jake. It's good to have you back." Jacob only gave a half-smile as Seth patted him on the shoulder. "Second, I have to tell you that another one of our pack members is now gone." Sam looked down for a minute and cleared his throat then he looked up to say, "Leah has been given permission to leave our pack and go to college. The tribal council believes it is important for one of us to have some medical knowledge so we don't have to rely on the leech doctor, and Leah has agreed to go to school to become a nurse."

Jared glanced at Paul who looked so lost right now. Jared still believed it was the best thing for both of them. Leah would finally have her dream of going to college and getting out of La Push for awhile and now Paul could finally let go and give himself totally to his imprint. But looking at Paul's pale face right now, he wasn't so sure.

Sam concluded the meeting with patrol schedules, like always, and then the meeting broke up. Paul walked away as soon as it was over and Jared jogged to catch up to him. "Hey, Paul?" He caught his arm and turned him around. "After you read that, if you need someone to talk to, you know . . . "

Paul gave him a small smile. "I know. Thanks." Jared just nodded and let him go.

Paul phased and made his way to the cliff top he and Leah had made their place and then he phased back and pulled on his shorts to sit down beside the little fire pit. He smiled as he remembered sleeping all night here on his birthday. What an awesome night that had been.

Finally, he pulled the envelope from his pocket, tore it open and pulled the letter out to read it:

_Dear Paul,_

_I gave this to Jared to give to you because I'm a fucking coward. Yeah, I know, you're disappointed in me. You told me once to be "strong and proud," and believe me, I am doing everything in my power right now to be just that, but it's not easy._

_I've decided that I can't stay here this time and just let myself wallow in self-pity and make everyone around me miserable. I need to get away, and I think I've found the perfect solution. I talked to my mom and she went with me to see the Tribal Council. I convinced them that we need someone with medical training to take care of the pack. Before I turned into a big, hairy monster, it was my dream to go away to college to study medicine. It will take too long to become a doctor, so I've decided to study nursing. I'll be at Washington State University in Spokane where they have a great Dept. of Medicine, and I hope to be done in 2 years. This is what I've always wanted, so please be happy for me. I think it will be exciting, but I know that it will be harder to leave here than I always thought it would be. _

_Please, Paul, be happy. It's what I want for you more than anything. When I close my eyes, I see you as you were on the beach that day. You were so relaxed and happy and, God, so sexy . . . that's the way you should be all the time. You deserve it. You're a great guy, and I will always be thankful for the time we spent together. You helped me to feel again . . . to want to live again. For that, I will always be grateful._

_And just so you know, about what you said the last time we saw each other? Me, too._

_Your buddy,_

_Leah_

Paul remembered he had told Leah he loved her last time he saw her._ Me, too. She loves me.. _Paul looked up out at the water and closed his eyes, letting the wind blow over his face to dry his tears. He knew she was right. She didn't deserve to stay here and watch him with Rachel, because he knew now, it was getting harder and harder to fight it. If Leah was happy going away to college, then he would be happy for her. Even though he felt like a huge piece of his heart just died.

After awhile, he folded the letter neatly, then put a gentle kiss on it, whispering, "Goodbye, Leah," before slipping it back into the envelope. Standing up, Paul slid the envelope into his pocket and made his way slowly back home.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

LET IT BE

"Grandma, I know how important it is to you that I finish school, but I'm 18! I don't need any more education than I already have. I need to work the extra hours to help feed all of us. I really should look for a full-time job somewhere."

"Pauly, it is important to finish what you start. You need to graduate from high school. Don't be a quitter. We've done alright up to now, and we'll be just fine."

Paul closed in eyes in frustration. _Why didn't she understand? How could he make her understand? _Opening his eyes, Paul reached out to take her hand as he tried patiently to explain, "Grandma, you know I love you more than any other person on this earth, and I would do anything for you. But you have to understand where I'm coming from on this. I'm a man now, Grandma. I'm not a little kid anymore. I need to provide for you and the boys. I NEED to do this." The look of disappointment he saw in her eyes cut him like a knife. "Look, I'll get my GED if you want me to. Can we at least compromise on that?"

"Jared is going to finish and graduate. Why can't you?"

"AHHHHH!" Paul put both of his hands in his hair and pulled. "Because I'm not Jared! Jared still has two parents that provide for him. He has a girlfriend in high school. He _wants_ to be there!" Paul shouted.

"Don't raise your voice to me, Paul."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Grandma." Paul took a few calming breaths then said, "I know this is important to you, and I wish I could do this for you, but I can't. And I hope that someday, you will understand. I will take the GED test and get a diploma that way, but I won't go back to school. I need to work, and I need to provide for this family. And that's that."

Standing up, Paul pushed his chair back to the table as he pleaded one more time, "Please, Grandma, just please try to understand." Not waiting for her answer, Paul pushed open the screen door and stepped outside letting it slam behind him as he stalked out to the fire pit to plop down on an old log.

That's where Tyler found him a few minutes later. "Paul? I heard you and Grandma yelling. Are you OK?"

"No. I hate yelling at Grandma. It makes me feel like shit," Paul answered sadly as Tyler sat down beside him.

"You don't want to go back to school?"

"No, I don't. I'm 18 now, and I'm done with that. I've learned everything I need to know. It's not like I'm going to college or anything."

"Why can't you?" Tyler asked innocently.

Paul turned on him to shout, "I have a family to support! I can't just leave you guys and go off to college."

Tyler's face fell as he realized he and his brother were the reason that Paul couldn't go to school. Paul had done so much for them, and what had he done for his brother? "Oh. Well, I could get a job and help Grandma. Then you could go," Tyler suggested hopefully.

Paul sighed as he looked over at his younger brother. _Shit._ _Now I made him feel bad . . . just like Grandma._ "No, you can't. You need to go to school. You might have a chance to go to college someday and make something of yourself. I never had that chance. It's not just because of you guys that I can't leave. I'm a wolf, remember? I'm tied here to this reservation for the rest of my fucking life."

"Oh, I never thought of that."

"Yeah. So, there's no use in me getting any more education."

Tyler looked out at the woods for a second then said, "I'm sorry, Paul."

Paul gave his brother a smile. "It's OK, bro. I've know for awhile now that I wasn't going anywhere. I just wish Grandma would understand. I hate hurting her."

They sat there in silence for awhile then Tyler asked, "Do you think I could really go to college someday? Isn't it like really expensive?"

"Yeah, but they have scholarships and stuff that help pay for it. If you buckle down and get good grades, you could get some of those." Tyler nodded as Paul went on to add, "I know you're not stupid, Ty. All you need to do is apply yourself. And don't be embarrassed about being smart. Jared is like that and I hate it. He is really smart, but he pretends he's not. Sometimes he blows a test on purpose so guys won't tease him and stuff. That's bullshit."

Tyler smiled at that. "I've done that, too. I guess it is kind of lame."

"Damn right it is! Look, you should never worry about what someone else thinks of you. I don't. I don't give a shit about what anyone thinks about me. Well, except Grandma, and now, well, I'm pretty sure she's disappointed in me."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," they heard from behind them and Paul turned to see his grandma step up behind him. "I'm sorry, Paul. I heard you in there, and I do understand. And I am disappointed, but not in you." Ruth smiled and touched his shoulder. "No, you're a good man, Paul. I know because I raised you. I'm disappointed that you don't have the opportunities that you deserve, but there's nothing that can be done about that. Just promise me you'll get your GED and I'll be happy. I love you, Pauly. I could never be disappointed in you."

Paul stood up and pulled his grandmother to him for a hug. "Thanks, Grandma. I will. I promise."

Paul let her go and Ruth smiled and patted his cheek. "Good. Then this is done. I'm going to work in the garden for awhile. Can you take the boys into town and get them some school supplies for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

Ruth left them to walk over to her precious garden then Paul looked over at Tyler and smiled. "Come on, let's go get your brother. If you promise not to fight with him, we'll get ice cream."

They walked into the house and Tyler ran to get Travis jus as Paul heard someone knock on the front door. Opening it, he was surprised to see Rachel standing there holding a pie. "Hi. I come bearing gifts. Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure," Paul said as he stepped out of the way to allow Rachel to come inside. "Why are you bringing me a gift?"

"Payment for your plumbing services," Rachel answered brightly.

"You already paid me with chili and cornbread and blueberry pie, if I remember correctly," Paul told her as he led her to the kitchen.

"Yes, I did. But, I felt kind of bad about . . . afterward, when you left."

"I'm the one that should be bringing you pie. I acted like an animal. I'm really sorry about that."

Rachel smiled at that. "Maybe, but I encouraged it." She set the pie on the table just as Travis came running into the kitchen.

"Are we really going to town to buy school stuff?" he asked Paul excitedly.

Paul reached down and picked him up. "Yes, we are. But you are being rude. I was talking to someone."

Travis looked over at Rachel and she smiled as she asked, "Who's this?"

"This is Travis, my little brother. Trav, this is my friend, Rachel. She is Jacob's sister."

Travis looked at Rachel then turned to Paul and asked, "Where's Leah? I like Leah."

Paul closed his eyes for a moment in pain and embarrassment. Just the sound of her name still stabbed like a knife in his heart. Opening his eyes, he reminded Travis, "Remember, I told you that Leah went away to college to be a nurse."

"Oh yeah. I colored her a picture. Can we send it to her?"

"Yes. Grandma said that she would get her address for you. Now be nice and say hello to Rachel."

Travis turned to Rachel and said quickly, "Hello."

Rachel just smiled as Paul set Travis down and told him to change his shirt because he had syrup from breakfast all over the one he was wearing. Travis ran off and Paul looked at Rachel to apologize. "I'm sorry about that. He and Leah had gotten kind of close and . . . "

"It's OK. I understand. You and Leah were close, too. I can tell it hurt you to hear her name. You miss her, too, don't you?"

Paul just nodded, deciding there was no need to lie about it. "Uh, I was just about to take the boys into town to buy some school supplies."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I really just came to drop off the pie. I'll go," Rachel said as she headed toward the door.

"Well, you could come with us if you want," Paul suggested. _Wow . . . where did that come from? _he wondered as the words poured out of his mouth.

Rachel gave him a look that said she was wondering the same thing. After a moment, she surprised herself by smiling and saying, "Sure. OK."

His brothers walked out into the kitchen as Tyler announced, "We're ready." Paul introduced Rachel to Tyler and told the boys that Rachel was going to town with them.

"No! This is a brother's trip," Travis insisted. Paul didn't think about that. He forgot how much Travis loved his "brother's trips" where just the three of them went somewhere. Although he realized he never threw a fit when it was Leah that went with them.

Paul squatted down to look Travis in the eye as his little lip quivered. "Look, buddy, I'm sorry. Rachel is my friend and I just thought it would be nice to include her. Can we make an exception just this once?"

"Paul, it's alright. I can go. We'll do this another time," Rachel insisted softly.

"Trav? What do you say?" Paul prompted him.

Travis looked over at Rachel who smiled at him then back at Paul. Paul was his big brother . . . Travis hated to make him upset. Finally Travis nodded. Paul hugged him and whispered, "Thanks, Travis. I promise we'll get ice cream, OK? Our secret." Travis smiled as his head bobbed up and down. He loved secrets!

Paul stood up and said, "OK, let's go. Ty, run out back and let Grandma know we're leaving." Tyler ran around the back of the house as the rest of them moved toward Paul's car. They all climbed in and waited for Tyler to join them and when he did, Paul took off toward town.

They stopped at the drug store for some things first then to the grocery store for some others. Travis was so excited to get to pick out things for school. He had never done that before! "Can I have these Thomas pencils? Please, Paul?" Travis LOVED Thomas the Tank Engine. He had asked Leah to read that book so much she had the first few pages memorized. Smiling at that memory, Paul said, "Sure, buddy."

Travis hugged his leg then ran back to look for crayons. "You are good with them. They really love you," Rachel observed.

"You should have seen us when they first got here. It was pretty ugly for awhile."

"Paul?"

"Yeah, Ty?"

"What's the difference between college-ruled paper and wide-line paper?" Tyler stood there holding two different notebooks.

"College-ruled lines are smaller." Tyler nodded and then went back to pick up a couple more notebooks.

After they had their supplies, they walked to the corner to the Dairy Treat to get ice cream. Travis looked up at Paul with a huge grin. "I kept the secret."

Paul picked him up and said, "Yes, you did. Since you did so good, you get to order first."

Travis ordered a twist cone with both chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and Paul said, "I'll take the same." Tyler ordered a hot fudge sundae then they all looked at Rachel.

"Oh, that's OK. I can get my own."

"I don't think so. I'm buying, and I don't do it often, so you better take advantage while you have the chance," Paul told her.

With a smile, Rachel gave in and ordered a small hot fudge sundae. Paul paid for the ice cream and they all sat down at one of the picnic tables out front to eat. "Trav? Where's your napkin? You're getting it all over you," Paul said as he watched ice cream drip from the cone onto Travis' hands and shirt. "Maybe a cone wasn't the best idea for you."

Rachel reached over and tried to help Travis clean his face. "I can do it!" Travis insisted as he jerked away from her.

"Hey, Rachel was just trying to help. Don't be mean," Paul scolded.

"I'm big now. I don't need help!" Travis shot back.

"Travis," Paul said sternly. "Rachel was just trying to be nice. What do you say?"

"Sorry," Travis mumbled quietly.

"It's OK, Travis. I'm sorry. I should have known you were too big to need help. I'll wait for you to ask for help, OK?"

Travis nodded and licked his ice cream as Paul looked at Rachel and mouthed, "Sorry."

Rachel just smiled and took another bite of her sundae. After they all finished, they loaded into the car for the ride home. As Paul parked the car, Travis jumped out with his bag of supplies. "I'm going to show Grandma!" he called as he ran inside.

The rest of them walked inside and found Travis already sitting on Ruth's lap showing her his 'school stuff.' "And Paul let me get these cool Thomas pencils!" he said excitedly.

"Oh my, those _are_ cool," Ruth replied. "Isn't Paul a nice brother? Did you thank him for taking you and buying you these school supplies?"

Travis jumped off her lap and ran to Paul to hug his legs. "Thank you, Paul. I love you."

Paul squatted down and hugged him. "You're welcome, buddy. Love you, too."

"Thanks, Paul," Tyler said.

"You're welcome, Ty," Paul answered as he straightened to look at his other brother. Tyler then went to his room and Paul knew he was going to pull out one of his new notebooks and start writing. It was funny how he and Leah shared that passion for journaling. _Why did Leah keep coming to mind today?_

"Rachel Black. It's been a long time since I've seen you," Ruth said as she held out her hand to Rachel.

"Hi, Ruth," Rachel returned warmly as she took Ruth's hand and held it for a moment before sitting down onto the futon.

"Are you glad to be home?"

"Yes, I really am. I should never have waited so long."

"Are you staying or do you have plans to conquer the world now that you're a college graduate?"

That question got Paul's attention as he was very interested in her answer. Rachel smiled as she said, "Well, I'm visiting for now. My degree is in communications, and I'd like to be a TV news reporter or a journalist. Not much call for that here, so I thought I might head to Seattle and see what happens."

_So, she wasn't staying,_ Paul thought_. Interesting. _

Deciding she wanted to get to know Paul's imprint a little better, Ruth asked, "Would you like to stay for dinner, dear?"

"I would, but I promised Dad I'd make lasagna tonight for dinner and he's really looking forward to it, so, maybe another time?"

"Sure, anytime," Ruth replied with a friendly smile.

Rachel stood to go and Paul offered, "I'll walk you out."

"See you later, Ruth."

"Goodbye, honey."

Paul opened the door for Rachel and then walked beside her to the car. "Thanks for the pie," he said as soon as they arrived.

"Sure. I hope you like it."

They stood there awkwardly for a minute then Rachel surprised Paul by leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips. He stared into her eyes and then leaned forward to kiss her back, doing his best to hold back this time. As Paul stepped back, Rachel smiled and said softly, "See you later."

Paul nodded and watched her get into her car and drive away. She wasn't Leah, but she was starting to grow on him. More than he wanted.

The boys went back to school and Paul went to Pete and asked if there was anyway he could be put on full-time at the store. He explained his situation about not going back to school and how he needed more money to support his family.

"Paul, I completely understand. You're a good guy for standing up and taking care of your family, but I'm giving you as many hours as I can right now." Then, after taking in Paul's disappointed face, Pete added, "I'll tell you what. I think I can afford to give you a little more per hour. Let me take a look at the accounts and I'll tell you tomorrow what I can do, alright?"

Paul grinned as he said, "Thanks, Pete. I appreciate anything you can do."

"Well, you're a good worker, Paul. One of the best I've ever had." Paul shook his hand and then went back to work. The raise would help, but as much as he hated to, he might have to look for something else.

Now that Paul wasn't going to school, Jared offered to take care of getting the boys back and forth, and today, they stopped by the store on their way home to see Paul. Travis ran down the aisle all excited to tell Paul that he made a new friend today named Carly. "And she's a girl, but that's OK cause you're friends with Leah, right?"

Paul smiled at that. "Yeah, buddy. It's OK to have a girl for a friend."

Grandma had gotten Leah's address from Sue so Travis could send his picture to her, and he was so excited when she wrote him a letter back. It was just the kind of thing Paul would expect her to do. Grandma had posted the address on the fridge and Paul stared at it every time he opened the door. He kept thinking about writing her a letter, but he wasn't sure what to say.

Just then, Jared walked up and Paul said to him, "Look at you, Senior. So, you rule the school now, huh?"

"Oh yeah. You should see the little freshman just cower when I walk by. I had fun messing with Collin and Brady today."

Tyler laughed at that then Paul looked at him and asked, "So how was your day? Get in any fights?"

Ty rolled his eyes at that. "No, I learned my lesson, big brother. I had an OK day." He was in 7th grade this year and Paul remembered how much he had hated middle school, although, he got his first kiss in 7th grade. He made a mental note to talk to Tyler about girls sometime soon.

They stuck around for awhile then Jared rounded the boys up and took them home. Paul clocked out at six and got home just as his grandma was putting food on the table. They ate dinner and then Paul sat down to help Travis with his homework. He had to do some reading and a math worksheet. Tyler sat at the table working on his homework and Paul remembered how Leah had offered to help Tyler with his science homework this year. _Guess that won't be happening now._

After homework, Travis went to take a bath and Tyler went to watch some TV. Paul looked again at Leah's address on the fridge and found himself reaching for Tyler's notebook. Picking up a pen and turning to a blank page, he wrote:

_Dear Leah,_

_School started here today and I just finished helping Travis with his homework. I'm glad to know that I still remember how to do 2nd grade math._

Paul stopped and read what he just wrote. He rolled his eyes as he decided it sounded kind of lame then wondered if this was such a good idea. But he missed just talking to her, and he didn't think calling her would be a good idea right now, so . . .

_How's college life? Been drunk yet? Just remember to drink lots of water and sleep on your stomach. _

_OK, so I just read what I wrote and decided this is maybe the most lame letter I ever wrote. Of course, it may be the only letter I ever wrote. I don't remember ever writing one before. _

_It was strange to drop the boys off at school this morning then drive away. Felt like I was playing hooky for a minute. I convinced Grandma that I didn't need to go back and she finally gets it. I really feel the need to work and provide for the family. But I did promise her I would get my GED. I figured that would make you happy, too. _

_Travis made a new friend today. HER name is Carly. He told me he thought it would be OK to have a girl for a friend because you were my friend. I thought that was kind of cool, don't you? Of course he was just as excited about buying Thomas the Tank Engine pencils._

_Let's see, what can I tell you about the pack? Quil took Claire fishing last week, the idiot. They didn't catch a thing because Claire got all wound up in the line, then she cried when Quil went to put the worm on the hook because she didn't want to hurt it! I told him next time to take Travis. He's a pro. Jared and Kim are as sickening as ever, with their lips locked most of the time. Collin and Brady started high school today and Jared said he enjoyed giving them shit. He would._

_I'm sad to say that your bone-head brother still isn't talking to me. I guess he blames me for your leaving. But then, so do I. _

_Thanks for the letter. You weren't a coward for giving it to Jared. I get it. You are proud and strong for doing what you're doing. Just remember that. I'm proud of you for going to college, Leah. I miss you like hell, but this is a good thing for you and for the pack. _

_You don't have to answer this letter if you don't want to. I'll understand. I just miss my buddy._

_Love,_

_Paul_

Paul folded it and then got up to get an envelope. As he shoved the letter into it, he wondered again if he should really send it. Letting out a sigh, he licked the envelope then wrote her name and address on the front then added a stamp before he chickened out. He smiled as he laid it on the table. He would love to see her face when she pulled it out of her mailbox. 

Leah walked into her dorm after her last class of the day and got out her key to open her mailbox. Grabbing the mail, she closed the box and ran up the stairs to her dorm room where she unlocked the door, went inside then threw the mail on her desk along with her books. Her roommate, Jamie, was still at class, so Leah flopped down on the bed to write for a little bit in her journal.

Leah had taken to writing a lot lately, mostly about how much she missed home. She was so surprised at herself for being so homesick. All she had wanted for most of the last year was to escape from La Push. Now, here she was, living her dream, and all she could do was think of home. _And Paul._

After awhile, Leah laid her book down and got up to look through her mail. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at a plain envelope with no return address. Flipping it over, she slit it open, took out the letter and was shocked to see it was from Paul! Sinking down on her bed, she read the letter quickly then read it again slower, to take in every word. A smile played at her lips as she read about Travis and his new friend, and the Thomas pencils. _How many times had they read that Thomas book? _She remembered how she had decided to buy him at least five new Thomas books for Christmas so they would have more to read. That smile disappeared as she remembered she wouldn't be spending Christmas with him now.

Laying back on the bed, Leah read the last paragraph again. _I'm proud of you for going to college, Leah. I miss you like hell, but this is a good thing for you and for the pack. _She smiled as she saw that he signed it, _Love, Paul_.

Leah stared at the ceiling and wished again with all her heart they could be together. She noticed there was no mention of Rachel in this letter. _Was he still seeing her? Did she leave?_ It didn't really matter, Leah decided. What's done was done. She was here now and she was going to complete her degree.

Thinking of that, Leah decided she better get to work on her homework. Carefully folding the letter, she laid it on her bedside table then looked up at the picture Travis had colored for her. Leah took comfort in the thought that at least she wasn't forgotten.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

ANOTHER GIRL

Rachel was confused. As she sat across the kitchen table from Paul, she tried hard to see why she was so attracted to him. He was hot, that's for sure . . . _his dark brooding eyes, broad shoulders and brawny biceps and those pecs! _She would have to be blind not to notice those. But, he was only 18, and she was 22. They really had nothing in common. _And yet, there was something about him . . . _

Rachel had surprised herself by inviting Paul to dinner, and was equally surprised at her brother's reaction when he came to the table to find Paul sitting there. Jacob just grunted hello as he sat down, and she couldn't help but notice how Jake glared at him all through dinner. They were supposed to be friends, and yet, her brother didn't seem very friendly. But then, he was never in a good mood lately. It seemed it was taking him longer than it should for him to get over Bella.

"More potatoes?" Rachel asked Paul.

"Sure, thanks," Paul replied as he took the bowl and heaped some on his plate as Jake griped, "You think you could leave a little for someone else?" Paul then plopped the bowl in front of Jake noisily and Jake immediately picked it up to put the rest of the potatoes on his plate. Rachel shook her head in disgust at how immaturely her brother was behaving.

After they finished their meal, Jake mumbled something about going out to the garage. As the door slammed behind him, Rachel looked at her dad and asked, "And why isn't Jake going to school? This isn't right, Dad."

Billy sighed as he couldn't tell her the real reason. Paul could, but for some reason he was still dragging his feet. Jacob was the true Alpha, and Billy had been on him about stepping up. He wanted Jake to spend more time learning about the Tribal Council and learning all of the legends. "He is going through a tough time right now, Rachel. He'll go back when he's ready."

"He would get through this easier if he had something else to occupy his mind. He needs to be in school," Rachel insisted.

"We're done with this conversation, daughter. Excuse me," And with that, Billy wheeled himself into the other room.

Sighing, Rachel looked over at Paul and said, "Welcome to the Black Family dinner. Every night, it's the same thing." Standing up, Rachel began clearing the table as Paul pitched in and helped. "I have this feeling that they're hiding something from me, but no matter how hard I try, neither of them will talk to me. It's driving me nuts!" she ranted.

Paul looked over at Rachel as they did the dishes and she went on sharing her frustration. He knew it wasn't fair, her not knowing. He should man up and tell her, yet, he was still struggling. After they cleaned up the kitchen, Paul suggested they take a walk.

"Yeah, I'd like that. Let me grab a jacket," Rachel told him. After a stop in the living room to tell her dad she was leaving, Rachel reappeared with a jacket and said, "OK, let's go."

Paul opened the door for her then followed, closing the door behind him, asking, "Which way?"

Rachel pointed straight ahead, so they walked into the woods and along the path they found there while she picked her rant right where she left off. "I don't understand why Dad is being so lenient with Jake. He's acting like a spoiled little baby who didn't get what he wanted. Big deal! Bella married someone else. That's life. He needs to grow up and finish high school and then go away to college like I did. It helps to get away from here and see a little of the outside world. Gives you a better perspective."

"So why are you still hanging around here?" Rachel shot him a look, and Paul added, "I mean, weren't you headed off to Seattle to become a big time reporter or something?"

"Yes, and that is still my plan. I sent out some resumes and some letters inquiring about available internships. I'm just waiting to hear back."

Paul nodded then thought, _if only she understood why Jake couldn't go to college._ He knew he could tell her. He was the only one that could explain everything to her, and yet . . . maybe he should just get it over with. "Rachel? You know the legends your dad tells around the bonfire? Do you remember some of them?"

Rachel shot him a curious look. "Yeah, I guess. Why?"

"Do you remember the ones in particular that talk about our tribe being descended from . . . wolves?"

Nodding , Rachel asked warily, "What does this have to do with Jake?"

"It has to do with Jake and with me. I know this is going to sound pretty weird, but, they're true. The legends." Paul watched her intently. He could see she was trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"True?"

"Yeah." Paul took a deep breath and then explained, "Jake and I are . . . like werewolves. Not what you see in the movies, howling at the moon and all that shit. We are more like shape-shifters. We become actual wolves, only bigger. Do you understand?"

Rachel broke out laughing. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Smiling at her outburst, Paul could see she was going to need a demonstration. "OK, look. I'll phase for you, but don't freak out," Paul told her as he pulled off his t-shirt and kicked off his shoes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Rachel asked quickly.

"I don't want to shred my clothes. I can't afford to buy new ones," Paul explained as he started to unzip his shorts then stopped as he noticed her shocked face. "OK, fine, I'll go over there behind that bush to take my shorts off then I'll phase. Just remember, I'll be a huge wolf."

"Right, OK," Rachel said skeptically, then under her breath, she muttered, "Great, he's a nut job," as Paul turned away.

Quickly jogging over behind a bush, Paul stripped off his shorts then shouted out, "OK, here goes!" as he stepped back and willed his body to phase. Trotting out in front of Rachel, Paul slowed to a walk and watched as her eyes grew huge as she shook her head slowly back and forth, trying hard not to freak out as she stared at him.

"Oh my God! You w-w-weren't joking," Rachel stuttered, her voice shaking at she stared at this huge animal standing in front of her. It looked like a wolf, but so much bigger! Finally, she calmed herself enough to ask, "Paul?" The beast nodded his huge head and walked slowly toward her. Instinctively, Rachel started to back away so Paul stopped and laid down on his stomach. Looking into his eyes, Rachel finally crept closer. "Can I . . . can I touch you?" He nodded again and she hesitantly reached out her hand and placed it on his head. Paul closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her hand running over his fur.

"This is amazing," Rachel cooed softly. "And you say that Jacob is a wolf, too?" Again he nodded then he stood up and backed away before padding back toward the bush where he phased back into his human body in front of her then stepped behind the bush to slip his shorts back on.

As Paul walked back to her, Rachel shook her head in amazement. "That was the most awesome thing I've ever seen. That's why all of you are so big and buff, isn't it?"

"Yeah. A bonus, I guess."

"Why didn't Dad tell me? Or Jake?"

"This is a HUGE secret. You have to swear you won't tell anyone. Of course you can talk to your Dad and Jake now, but no one outside the pack can know. Do you understand?" Rachel nodded, then Paul went on to say, "And, they couldn't tell you because it's that important - the secret. Embry is a wolf and he can't even tell his mom."

"But then, why did _you_ tell me?"

Paul sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. _Here goes. After this, there's no turning back, _he thought. "As a wolf, we do something called imprinting. It's a way that our mate is chosen for us. When we see her for the first time, we imprint on her and then it is up to her to decide what we need to be for her. Like Sam and Emily?"

"That's why he left Leah?"

_Why did she have to mention Leah?_ Paul thought as he felt the knife turn in his gut at the mention of her name. "Yes. He had no choice. Imprinting is a permanent bond and . . . apparently it can't be broken," Paul said sadly as he looked off into the forest. He was quiet for a moment thinking of Leah. Finally he looked back at Rachel to say, "And when we imprint, we can tell that mate our secret." Paul waited to see if she was getting what he was saying.

Rachel's eyes grew wide as she looked at him. "And you're telling me because . . . "

"I imprinted on you. The night of the bonfire."

Paul watched the blood drain from Rachel's face as she mumbled, "Oh my God."

"Yeah."

Rachel took a few steps away to try and understand what Paul was telling her. _I'm his mate? Oh my God, what does that mean? _"So is that why you kissed me that night? Why I feel this attraction for you that I don't understand?"

"Yes."

Rachel turned away from Paul as her heart was racing now and she felt like she might throw up. _Why me? Why now? I don't want to stay here! I want to go to Seattle! _Turning back to look at Paul, she asked, "Are you saying you're in love with me? Even though we barely know each other?"

"Something like that," Paul admitted quietly.

Rachel's hand flew to her forehead as she tried to think. _How can this be happening? I don't even know Paul! He doesn't know me! How can I be his "mate?"_

Seeing her confusion, Paul said softly, "Look, I know this is all very confusing and the best person to talk to about this is your dad. He knows all about it better than any of us. Just know that I am just as fucking confused as you are right now, and I have been trying to hold back and not give into it. It's nothing personal against you . . . I don't even know you. It's just that, I wanted to be with . . . someone else."

Rachel turned to look into Paul's eyes as she asked, "Leah?"

The look there told her exactly what she already suspected. Paul was in love with Leah. "Yeah," Paul nodded. "I just realized how I really felt about her and then this shit happened."

"Fuck," Rachel sighed.

Paul smiled at that. "Exactly." Closing the gap between them, Paul took Rachel's hand. "The hard part is I feel such a pull to be with you, all the time. When you smile, I feel this rush go through me, and I want so badly to kiss you and to touch you. That's why I got so carried away that first time I kissed you. It's like a . . . primal need or something. It's the wolf thing."

"It scared the shit out of me!" Rachel admitted before adding shyly, "Although, I have to admit . . . it really excited me, too."

As Rachel stared into his eyes, Paul felt like she was almost daring him to do it again. Gently, Paul touched her cheek then leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. There it was . . . _that pull, that rush_. He deepened the kiss by touching his tongue to her lips and she opened her mouth to touch her tongue to his.

Rachel found herself wrapping her arms around Paul's neck as he pulled her closer. Their tongues danced as they kissed and Paul pushed his hand under her jacket and shirt on her back to find her skin. She jumped a little as his hot hand touched her back then relaxed as he began to rub his palm back and forth. Rachel realized then that Paul may be young, but he was far from being a virgin. He knew just what to do to turn a girl on.

They stood there in the woods, making out for quite awhile until Paul started to push harder and then Rachel pulled away, and tried to catch her breath. "Paul, I need to talk to my dad. I have so many questions."

"I understand. You want me there, too, or do you want to do this alone?"

"I think alone right now."

Paul nodded and bent down to put his shoes back on then he picked up his t-shirt, sliding it over his head before he took her hand to walk her back home. When they reached her door, he kissed her again, this time very softly.

Rachel smiled as she said, "Goodnight, Paul."

"Goodnight." Rachel walked inside and closed the door then Paul took out his keys and crawled inside his car, and as he drove home, he wondered what all was really going through Rachel's mind. 

"A wolf? My brother and all these big, buff teenagers turn into giant wolves? And you couldn't tell me?" Rachel yelled at her dad as soon as she found him in the living room.

"So, Paul finally told you."

"Yes, he told me. And then he showed me! He turned himself into this huge beast! Oh my God, Dad. What the hell is going on around here?"

"You better sit down and tell me exactly what Paul told you."

Rachel sunk down onto the couch and put her head into her hands. "He told me that he . . . imprinted on me and that I was his mate. What kind of bullshit is that?"

Billy actually chuckled. "Well, let me start with why your brother and Paul are wolves, and we will work our way to imprinting, OK?"

Rachel nodded and listened as her father told her a little about the legend of the "cold ones" and how their tribesmen turned into wolves to keep their people safe. And how there were vampires living close and that is why there was a sudden outbreak of wolves. It was all so bizarre! She found herself having a hard time wrapping her mind around all of this. He finally got to imprinting and told her basically the same thing that Paul did.

"Now tell me. What else do you want to know?" Billy asked.

Rachel snapped out of her stupor and just looked at her dad as she muttered, "I don't know where to start."

Billy chuckled as he said, "I know it's all a lot to take in, but I will help you through it. Tell me how you feel about Paul."

Shaking her head back and forth, Rachel tried to find the words to describe how she felt before admitting, "I don't know how to feel about him. I barely know him. I do feel an attraction to him, which just doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm four years older than he is, we have nothing in common. I just graduated college and I want to go to Seattle and try to find a job! I don't want to stay here and marry a werewolf. That wasn't in my plan!"

"Well, no one really plans these things. It just happens."

"Paul said something . . . he said, it was up to the girl to decide what she needs him to be for her. Is that true?"

"Yes and no. Take Quil for instance. He imprinted on Claire who is only 3 right now."

"What? A baby?"

"Well for now. So, to Claire, Quil is her big brother, and she loves him just like that and he loves her like a little sister. But, as she grows older, that will change into a different love."

"But Sam and Emily . . . he fell in love with her right away and dumped Leah. Paul said that Sam tried to fight it but it was too strong. And Paul said that he was trying to hold back, too, because of Leah. He doesn't want this, does he?" Billy hesitated, trying to tell her in a way that wouldn't hurt her. "Dad, be honest with me."

"No, sweetheart, he doesn't. But it has nothing to do with you. He came to me right after it happened. He never wanted to imprint. It's something he's always been afraid of."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know if I want it either. I want to go to Seattle. Can it be broken?"

"No. At least it never has been."

Rachel leaned back into the couch cushions. She was more confused than ever. "What should I do, Dad?"

Billy was quiet for a moment then he looked at Rachel and said with a smile, "Follow your heart, daughter."

Rachel shot her father a look and asked, "Seriously? You didn't just say, 'Follow your heart,' did you?"

"Yes, I did," Billy chuckled. "Too corny?"

"Way too corny. Come on, I really need some advice here."

"I don't know what else to tell you. This is for you and Paul to figure out. I am amazed though that the two of you didn't fall in love right away. That has not been the pattern. Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim . . . they all had those intense feelings from the start. Even Quil couldn't stay away from Claire. But Paul . . . he's a fighter. Maybe I underestimated his strength and his love for Leah."

"If he loves Leah so much then why didn't he imprint on her?"

"Paul didn't tell you all the other members of the pack?" Billy asked her.

"No. Why?"

"Leah is wolf, too. Our first female wolf ever, well, that we know of. Since we've never had a female wolf, we really don't understand her position in the pack yet. But Sam didn't imprint on her, and now, neither has Paul. It doesn't make sense, but for some reason, other pack members can't imprint on her."

"Poor Leah. She keeps falling in love only to be dumped because of this imprinting thing. That just sucks." Rachel looked up at her Dad and asked, "So who else?"

"Well, your brother, Jake, Leah's brother, Seth, then Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul, two younger boys, Collin and Brady and then Sam, who is the Alpha Male of the pack."

"So many," Rachel said softly. "So, there really are . . . vampires living around here? That many that it takes a whole pack of wolves to keep the reservation safe?"

Billy reached over to take her hand as he assured her, "Look, Rachel. This isn't something you need to worry about. The family of vampires that live here have a treaty with us. They don't kill humans - they live on animal blood only. But, they stay off of our land. And, if a vampire does kill a human, well, then we take them out."

"They . . . kill vampires?" Rachel's head was spinning at this point and she was really getting a headache.

"Yes," Billy answered quietly.

"My little brother . . ." Rachel's voice faded away as she was horrified at the life her brother was forced to live. "So, is this why you aren't forcing Jake back to school?"

"Yes and no. Some of the other pack members are in school: Collin, Brady, Seth, Jared, Quil and Embry. Your brother should be, but you see, Sam isn't the rightful Alpha. He is holding that position because he was the first to phase. He is actually second in line . . . to Jacob."

Rachel closed her eyes. This was just too much for her to take in. Rachel sighed as she pulled her hand away from her father's to swipe it through her hair. "Look, Dad, I can't take anymore right now. This is all just so crazy." Standing up, she stated, "I'm going to bed to think."

With a smile, Billy nodded. "I understand. We can talk again tomorrow if you have more questions."

Rachel mumbled good night and headed for her room where she closed the door and sunk down onto the small bed. _What the hell have I gotten myself into now?_


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

I WANT YOU

Paul grinned as he found the letter for him on the kitchen table when he got home from work. He immediately ripped it open and sat down to read it.

_Dear Paul,_

_Thanks so much for the letter. It wasn't the most lame letter I've ever read, but close. (HA!) It was really good to hear from you. To answer your first question, college life is good. Different, but good. I've been a lot more homesick than I thought I would be, but I am finally settling in and doing better. Tell Travis that I love the picture he sent me and I would really like another one. It helps to see a little bit of home on my wall._

_As for your second question, no, I haven't gotten drunk yet. My roommate thinks I'm really nerdy because all I do is study and write in my journal and I don't go to any parties. That's not what I'm here for. I have a purpose and I am working hard to do what the tribe expects me to accomplish. Once I do that, then I'll get drunk. Maybe for days._

_She's also concerned about me because I haven't brought home any guys yet. She even asked me if I was gay! Made me laugh and remember how you wished we were going trolling for chicks together that day we went into Forks and had pie at the diner. I didn't answer. I thought I would let her worry about it for awhile._

_Yes, getting your GED will make me happy. So DO IT! End of speech._

_I'm glad that Travis made friends with a girl. I like that we were good role models for him. Are they still friends? I hope so. And I get that the pencils were just as exciting. He is only 6 you know. Give him a few years then he'll probably be just like his big brother. God help us!_

_How's Tyler doing in school so far? I feel really bad that I couldn't keep my promise to him about homework help. I had no idea when I made that promise that I would be going to college. I hope he understands._

_I told my bone-head brother to cut you some slack and quit acting like a girl. I hope he listens. If not, you have my permission to kick his ass. _

_Life is hectic here and I like that as it makes the time go faster. I always have homework to do and papers to write and I like that. I like that I have something to focus on other than how I feel. I miss you like hell, too. Days go fast, but nights go slow. I had a dream about you the other night. Just know that it had something to do with the time we spent in the water. Enough said!_

_Take care and be happy. You deserve it._

_Love,_

_Leah  
_

Paul sat back and closed his eyes and held the paper to his face, inhaling deeply to try and find her scent on the page, just wanting to feel closer to her somehow. Opening his eyes, he looked again at that last paragraph. He dreamt about her, too, almost every night. It was his only way to hold onto her and what they had.

Finally folding the letter, Paul put it back into the envelope then walked over to his futon and reached under it to pull out a small box. He opened it and added the letter to the other one in the box then put the lid on it and pushed it back under the futon. He decided he would answer it later tonight when he was alone. 

"Are you sure I got that right?" Paul asked. Emily was helping him make a dream catcher for Travis. His birthday was coming up and Paul had decided that since Travis made him one for his birthday, he would do the same for Trav.

"Yes, that's perfect! You're very good at this, Paul." Emily smiled at him and handed him another feather. "How are things going with Rachel, if you don't mind me asking?"

Glancing up at her, Paul answered, "I don't know. I finally told her the other night, about what we are and . . . about the imprinting. Freaked her out."

Emily smiled at that. "Yeah, I remember that feeling. It's not everyday a guy you just met tells you he can turn into a giant animal that kills vampires and oh, by the way, you're my mate for life."

Paul actually chuckled at that. "I guess I didn't think about it from her perspective. I have been pretty wrapped up in my own feelings."

"How is Leah?" Emily asked softly. She and Leah were cousins and they had been really close growing up until all this business with Sam happened. Emily knew how much Leah hated her now, but she couldn't help but still care about her. And knowing how Paul felt about Leah, she knew Leah must be hurting too.

Paul put the dream catcher down for a moment and looked at Emily. "I wrote her a letter and she wrote back," he reported with a smile. "She sounds like she's doing alright. Of course, she could be lying to make me feel better."

"So, you're pen pals now?"

"Yeah, I guess, since apparently that's all we can be. Every time I'm close to her or try to touch her, it hurts like hell. Physically. I fucking hate it." Then realizing he used the F-word in front of Emily, Paul added quickly, "Oh, sorry. I _really_ hate it."

Emily laughed at him correcting his language for her. "It's OK, Paul. You think I don't hear enough of that language hanging out with a bunch of hormonal teenage werewolves? I swear, you all have filthy mouths."

Paul chuckled and picked up his dream catcher again as Emily asked, "Do you think it would help if I talked to Rachel? I could tell her a little about my experience and help her through this."

"I guess. Sure," Paul shrugged.

Emily smiled and helped him finish the dream catcher then packed up some cookies to take home with him.

"Thanks, Em. This was nice of you. Travis will really like it, I think."

"I know he will. He loves you, Paul, and he looks up to you. You've really stepped up with your brothers and . . . well, I'm proud of you."

A smile spread across Paul's face. It felt good to hear that someone was proud of him. "Thanks, Emily," Paul said softly as he leaned over and put a kiss on her cheek before he turned and walked out the door. Emily was a great girl and she and Sam were so happy . . . maybe things could be like that for him and Rachel if only he would give them a chance, Paul thought. _If only . . . _

Leah smiled as she pulled the letter out of her mailbox. She recognized Paul's handwriting and rushed upstairs to her dorm room to flop onto her bed and rip it open.

_Dear Leah,_

_Halloween is coming and two days after that Travis turns 7. He is literally bouncing off the fucking walls! I promised to take him Trick or Treating for the first time and he can't wait. Of course, he wants to be Thomas and I have no idea how to make a train costume. I keep trying to talk him into being a ghost. I think I could handle cutting two eye holes into a sheet. Maybe. _

_For his birthday, Emily helped me make him a dream catcher. I think he'll like it. It's just like the one he made me. She even told me I was really good at making it. Maybe I should go into business, huh? Dream Catchers by Paul. Sounds catchy. OK, so it also sounds a little gay._

_You asked about Tyler and school. I am shocked to say this kid has done a complete 180 from last year. He is doing homework without me yelling at him and he's bringing home A's and B's! Who knew? ( Well, I did, but then I know everything.) He's really trying to fit in this year and stay out of trouble. I'm actually pretty proud of him. And yes, bossy woman, I told him that._

_At the last pack meeting, your brother actually said hi. That was it, but it's a start. I guess he's still afraid of you. I know I am. Although I was looking forward to kicking his ass . . ._

_I hate to cut this short, but I gotta get to work and I want to mail this on the way. Pete has me working about 30 hours a week and he gave me a raise. He's a good guy. _

_Take care and let me know if you find a girlfriend. Send pictures._

_Love,_

_Paul_

_PS I had the same dream._

Leah actually laughed out loud. This was the Paul she missed so much. The funny, mouthy Paul. A grin grew on her face as she wondered if she could get her roommate to pose in a picture with her . . . 

A few days later, a package arrived in the mail addressed to Travis. Ruth brought it in and laid it on the table. There was no return address and for a moment she was a little scared it might be from Doreen, even though that was highly unlikely.

Paul got off work early enough to pick up the boys from school today and they all came in together. "Travis? A package came in the mail today for you," Ruth said as he ran into the kitchen like he did everyday after school.

"A package?" Paul asked. He gave his grandma a wary look and she shrugged.

Paul pulled out a knife and slit the tape on the package then saw it was postmarked from Spokane. _Leah. _Smiling, he wondered what she was up to. Travis opened the box and pulled out a Thomas the Tank Engine costume. Immediately, his face lit up like a Christmas tree as he shouted, "OH MY GOSH! IT'S THOMAS!" Then turning to Ruth, he added quickly, "I want to put it on right now!"

Tyler volunteered to go and help him as Travis ran to his room. Ruth looked at Paul for an explanation, so he said, "I told Leah that Travis wanted to be Thomas for Halloween and I had no idea how to make a train costume. I guess she decided to help."

"That sweet, sweet girl," Ruth said with a smile. "So, you talk to her now?"

"Through letters."

Ruth shook her head at him and turned back to the sink where she was peeling potatoes for dinner. He knew she felt like everyone else . . . that he should give up on Leah and give in to this imprint. What no one knew is that Paul had finally stopped fighting so hard. The funny thing was, now Rachel was being resistant. He had seen her a few times since the night he told her, but she was really confused.

"Look! Look at me!" Travis called out as he ran back into the kitchen, dressed in the one piece costume, which had a picture of Thomas on the front, with a mask of Thomas' face covering his own. Paul grinned as he looked at his little brother . . . leave it to Leah to know exactly what to do to make this kid go through the roof.

"There is a card in the box. Did you want me to read it to you?" Tyler asked. Travis bobbed his little train head up and down, so Tyler read out loud:

_Dear Travis,_

_I heard that you wanted to be Thomas for Halloween but that your big brother was trying to talk you into being a ghost. That is just not right. So, I hope this costume fits and you have fun Trick or Treating. Every kid should have the chance to get lots of free candy and puke all night. It's a Halloween tradition._

_I miss you! Love, Leah_

"That was very nice of her. You need to sit down and write her a thank you note, Travis," Ruth told him.

Travis nodded, but didn't say anything then hung his head. Paul stepped over and squatted down in front of him then moved the mask up so he could see his little brother's face. "What's wrong, buddy?" Paul asked as soon as he saw Travis' little lip quiver.

"I miss Leah. I wish she could go Trick or Treating with me."

Paul hugged Travis close and whispered, "Me, too, buddy. Me, too." 

Paul was mindlessly stocking shelves at the store a couple of days later when he heard _her_ voice from behind him. "Hey, Paul."

Placing the can on the shelf, Paul turned around to face her. "Hey, Rachel."

Paul noticed her hair was swept back from her face and it made her green eyes really stand out. A small smile crossed her lips as she said, "Sorry, it's been awhile."

Picking up another can, Paul went on stocking the shelves. "It's OK. I get it."

"I have just been so overwhelmed by all of this. I came home to visit my family for a month or so then I planned to head to Seattle to make my mark on the world. And now, it's October and I'm still here and . . . I am just so confused," Rachel finished, looking rather defeated.

Paul stood up, looked into her beautiful eyes and found himself asking, "Want to talk about it?"

Rachel gave him a real smile as she answered, "Yes, please."

"OK. Come on," Paul invited as he picked up the empty box and walked into the back room. "Step into my office," he said as he led the way to the corner where he usually took his break. There was a small refrigerator and a microwave and an old table with two chairs. "Have a seat."

Rachel sat down as Paul grabbed his lunch out of the fridge along with a couple of cans of pop and set one in front of Rachel. Sitting down next to her, he pulled a sandwich out of the bag and said as he unwrapped it, "So, talk."

"God, where do I start?" Rachel popped the top on the Pepsi and took a long drink. "I finally talked to Jacob about this whole . . . wolf thing. He told me he was glad that I knew because it was hard keeping the secret." While she talked, Rachel absently reached over and grabbed one of Paul's chips and popped it in her mouth and he smiled at her. "Then he asked me why I wasn't madly in love with you. I didn't know what to tell him. Am I supposed to be? Are you madly in love with me? God, I am so sick of thinking about all of this!"

"You're not alone there," Paul answered. "Look, Rachel, this is complicated, I'll give you that. I do have very intense feelings for you. It's getting harder and harder for me to hold back. But I want to give you time to figure out what you want."

Rachel smiled, "Thanks. Really, Paul." Then she surprised him by leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek.

As Rachel lingered there, Paul turned and captured her lips and kissed her more deeply. She accepted his tongue and then let a little sigh escape into his mouth, realizing she liked this more than she wanted to admit. Pulling back, Paul looked into her eyes and asked huskily, "You wanna get together tonight?"

"Yes," Rachel breathed.

Paul kissed her again then sat back and took another bite of his sandwich and grinned at her. "Sorry, but I only have 15 minutes for lunch."

Rachel smiled and stole another chip. For some reason, she found herself really looking forward to tonight. 

Rachel looked in the mirror . . . again. She was fussing over her hair and then decided she didn't like the top she was wearing . . . again. She was so nervous about being with Paul tonight for some reason. Finally dressed, in a pair of black jeans that fit just right and a red stretchy top that showed enough cleavage to make Paul notice, but not too much to look trashy, Rachel turned to her make up. When she finished that, she added some silver hoop earrings then sighed as she decided she was as ready as she would ever be.

Rachel had gotten rid of Jake and her dad to have some alone time with Paul tonight, telling them both to stay away until at least ten. Realizing they had not really spent any time alone together, Rachel wondered how was she supposed to spend the rest of her life with someone she barely knew? She was hoping that tonight would help her to know Paul a little better. Right on time, Paul knocked at the door and her heart began racing. Answering the door to Paul, Rachel smiled and answered as calmly as she could, "Hi. Come on in."

Paul stood there in the doorway for just a moment mesmerized by what he saw. Rachel looked good . . . really good. She had added a few curls to her dark, shiny hair and was wearing some make-up. And those jeans . . . he noticed they fit her ass perfectly as he followed her inside to the kitchen where she had the table set. "Man, it smells great in here. What are we having?"

"Baked pork chops, with potatoes in a mushroom soup gravy, green beans and pumpkin pie for dessert."

"You whipped this up just for me?" Paul asked with a grin.

"Yes, I did. I hope you like it," Rachel admitted shyly.

He did. Everything was delicious! Paul always thought his grandma was the best cook in the world, but he decided that Rachel was a close second. He ate seconds of everything, even the pie. As they ate, they both shared stories of themselves growing up, funny things and sad things. Paul finally pushed himself away from the table and told her, "Man, that was awesome. You are a great cook."

Rachel beamed from his praise. "Thanks. I was a little worried that I didn't make enough. I've noticed you wolf boys eat a lot!"

Paul laughed as they cleared the table and when it was done, Rachel turned to him and said softly, "Leave the dishes." Suddenly, Paul saw something in her eyes he hadn't see before . . . _lust. Hmmm, am I ready for this? _Then he realized he was a guy and he was ALWAYS ready for sex.

Rachel kept his gaze as she bravely reached for the bottom of his t-shirt and inched it up over his tight abs. Paul smiled as he helped her take it off then was rewarded with Rachel running her hand lightly over his chest and up and over his shoulders. Shyly, she said, "Paul, I . . . " then hesitated. For some reason, Rachel was having a hard time saying what she wanted. She wasn't a virgin by any means, and yet she felt as nervous as she had that first time. Forcing herself to swallow her nerves, Rachel finally admitted, "I want you."

Paul nodded as he pulled her close then bent towards her and stopped right before he reached her lips, wanting to see how badly she wanted him. He didn't wait long. Rachel pushed her lips onto his and then sucked his bottom lip into her mouth. That's all it took to get him going, and this time he didn't hold back. His hands held her by the hips and then slid back to grab her ass and push her closer to him. Rachel gasped a little as she felt how hard he was already.

Breaking away from his lips, Rachel stared for a moment into his eyes. The raw desire she saw in his eyes didn't scare her this time. Her hand found his and she pulled him quickly to her bedroom where she stopped in front of her bed and turned to him to brazenly pull her shirt off over her head and throw it onto the floor. Paul watched in amazement as Rachel then unzipped her tight jeans and worked them down over her hips to step out of them. She had a smokin' hot body and she was now standing before him wearing a black bra and panties. Paul suddenly decided he loved black underwear.

Reaching out, Paul pulled Rachel roughly against his bare chest and devoured her full lips. As they kissed, his hands traveled her body, touching and exploring, until finally they landed on her bra strap. He quickly unhooked it and pulled back a little to let it fall down her arms then Rachel pulled it off and added it to the pile of clothes on the floor. Her breasts were nice and round, not quite a handful, but her nipples stood straight out. As his hand brushed them, she worked on the zipper of his jeans, pushing them down over his hips until they hit the floor and then she made herself comfortable on the bed to wait for him.

Paul quickly joined her and as they kissed again, his hand went straight to her breasts. She moaned as he kneaded them and played with the tips. He felt he was a little rougher than he should be, but he couldn't help it. That primal need was taking him over and he was having a hard time controlling it. He left her lips and moved to her throat and shoulders . . . nipping with his teeth as he went.

Rachel shocked him a little by rolling him over and pulling his boxers down. He was pretty sure since she had been to college, she wasn't a virgin and had some experience, but he wasn't quite prepared for this. Looking him in the eye, Rachel wrapped her hand around him and then cupped him and stroked him, even giving him a lick or two until he thought he would lose it right there. Then she crawled up his body and kissed him, shoving her tongue into his mouth.

Paul flipped her over and looked down at her and marveled at how her eyes were so dark with desire. His lips were on hers again and as she dug her nails into his shoulders, he thought how much he loved it when Leah did that._ Leah! Oh my God, Leah. _As he kissed Rachel, he saw Leah's face as she looked when she let go and . . . suddenly he stopped and rolled off of Rachel.

Paul panted, trying to catch his breath as Rachel sat up and looked down at him. "What? What's wrong?"

Closing his eyes, Paul willed himself to calm the fuck down. Experience had taught him that you do not admit you were thinking of one girl while you're doing another. They didn't go for that. So instead Paul said quickly, "I, uh, need to get some protection." He leaned toward the edge of the bed and Rachel pulled him back saying, "It's OK. I'm on the pill."

Giving him a sexy smile, Rachel wound her arms around Paul's neck and kissed him hard, trying to draw him back to where they left off and it was working . . . God, he wanted her. Bad. Leah was starting to fade from his memory again as Rachel took over. Leaning her back, Paul reached for her underwear, noticing they were wet as he ran his hand over them. _Wet and silky_ . . . it was his undoing.

Paul ripped them off of her, literally, and moved on top of her. That need to dominate her and take her filled him and he wasn't gentle as he drove into her hard and then kept pumping over and over and over until he came with groan. Paul was breathing hard, but Rachel was very quiet. After a few seconds, he finally lifted his head to look down at her. Her eyes were closed and all of a sudden, Paul realized that he had been too hard and too selfish. He hadn't acted that way since the last time he had sex with Shelia and he had never been that way with . . . _Leah._

Rolling to the side, Paul said softly, "Rachel? I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry . . . I tried to hold back . . . I'm not usually like that, so selfish. Are you alright?"

Rachel was wondering what the hell happened. She had had sex with different guys at college, but nothing like what just happened between her and Paul. It was so . . . exciting until he lost it and just took what he wanted. Opening her eyes, Rachel tried to give him a smile. "Yes. I haven't had sex in a long time . . . I'm a little off my game, I think."

_Shit. Leah always came, every time. Was it him . . . or Rachel? _Now that is was over and he was gaining control of his brain again, he felt so guilty for thinking about Leah. This was too hard, always being caught in the middle. He fucking hated it.

Paul sat up and ran his hand through his hair then he reached for his boxers and slipped them on. As he reached for his jeans, he heard Rachel say, "Paul? You don't have to leave. I told Jake and Dad to stay out until at least ten." The clock on the nightstand said 8:10.

Hanging his head, Paul thought, _How can I leave now without hurting her?_ He felt trapped all of a sudden and wanted nothing more than to run away and never look back. Sitting up, Rachel put her arms around Paul's neck and kissed his shoulder. "Maybe we could try again . . . in a little bit?"

_Damnit! _Paul found himself saying, "Sure," as he lay back down. What else could he do? Rachel curled up on his shoulder and as he held her, Paul wondered, _Why am I feeling this way? Rachel is supposed to be my imprint! Wasn't sex supposed to be awesome with your imprint? It was with Jared and Kim, so Jared always bragged. Of course, he really didn't have anything to compare it to. But Sam did. He had been with Leah. But from what I've seen in Sam's head, he was having no problems with Emily in that department._

"You're awfully quiet, Paul. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You?"

"Yeah."

Both of them were thoroughly confused by what just happened, yet neither could bring themselves to say so in fear of hurting the other. Finally, Paul turned so he could face Rachel. "I have to be honest with you. This is the first time I've been with anyone since . . . since Leah. I'm having a tough time with that. I'm sorry."

So she was fighting a ghost . . . that's just what Rachel thought. "Thanks for being honest with me, and I know. I get that. I had a boyfriend back at college. His name was Rick. We were pretty serious and I was really shocked when he broke up with me for another girl. I haven't had sex since him and that was 8 months ago."

Paul nodded. "Hmm, eight months. Impressive streak."

"Thanks," Rachel laughed. "I wasn't even trying."

Letting out a long sigh, Paul said, "I'm trying, Rachel. I want you to know that. I'm trying to accept this and move on even though it's not easy."

"I know. I've done a lot of thinking, Paul, and I guess tonight, for me, was to see if this was real . . . if I wanted to be with you, you know, if I should try and accept this imprint. Although Dad tells me that our situation is very strange. I guess usually there is no choice in the matter. The others just fell in love and that was that. So I guess I have to keep wondering . . . why are we different?"

"Do you feel that you have a choice? Because as much as I want a choice, I don't feel I have one."

Rachel's eyes softened as she reached out to touch Paul's face and say, "I'm sorry about that. I feel that I'm being forced on you and that doesn't do much for my self-confidence." Paul smiled at that. "I do feel a very strong attraction to you, Paul. I can't deny that."

Paul ran a finger gently down her cheek then kissed her and decided maybe they should try again. This time, he did everything he could to hold back and not be so dominating. They lay side by side for awhile kissing and touching and when things got hot and heavy, Paul encouraged Rachel to climb on top, which she did and she panted as she moved and cried out, "Paul! Yes, oh God, yes!" Finally he felt her clench around him and watched her head roll back as she enjoyed her release. That did it for him and he emptied into her right before she collapsed on top of him and laughed, "Oh that was so good. So good."

Smiling softly, Paul replied, "Glad I could help."

Rachel moved off of him and lay down beside him. "That was incredible."

Paul glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 9:30. Grabbing his boxers, he slid them on then reached down for his jeans. As he stood up to pull them over his hips, Rachel said, "Thanks, Paul. That second time I could tell you were really trying."

"You're welcome," Paul smiled then he leaned down and dropped a kiss on her lips. "I better go."

Smiling a very satisfied smile, Rachel asked, "See you tomorrow?"

"I have to work during the day then it's Halloween and I promised I'd take the boys Trick or Treating. We'll stop by for some candy, OK?"

With a nod, Rachel said softly, "See you then."

Paul said good bye and walked into the kitchen to pick up his shoes and slip his shirt back on then he let himself out. Pulling his keys from his pocket, he climbed into his car and leaned his head back against the head rest, wishing he could be like Jared and be head over heels for Rachel. Down deep, he thought he might if it weren't for Leah. She was haunting him, and keeping him from fully committing to this.

Paul sighed as he started the car, completely exhausted from thinking about all this imprinting shit and wishing he were old enough to go into town and get hammered. It wouldn't solve anything, but at least he could forget for awhile.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

FROM ME TO YOU

Travis was so excited about Halloween and he loved the Thomas costume that Leah sent him. In fact, Ruth had a hard time getting him out of it. Travis was a little worried about Trick or Treating because he had never done it before, so Paul took him outside and had him knock on the door. When Ruth answered the door he whispered to Travis, "OK, now say Trick or Treat."

Travis shouted, "Trick or Treat!" and Ruth laughed at him.

"That was good, honey, but maybe not quite so loud," she told him as she dropped a piece of candy into his bag.

Travis grinned as Paul mussed his hair and told him, "I think you'll do just fine."

When it came time for Tyler to pick a costume, he decided to be . . . a vampire. Paul laughed so hard when Tyler walked out of his bedroom all dressed up as Paul's mortal enemy, it made Tyler ask him, "What? I thought it was pretty cool. Grandma made the cape and I got the teeth and make-up . . . "

"No, man, I'm sorry, really, bro. It is cool," Paul choked out. "It's just a joke someone told me about a vampire. I can't tell you though. It wouldn't be as funny to you."

Tyler rolled his eyes in disgust and grumbled, "Whatever. Can we just go?"

"Sure," Paul said as he put his arm around Ty's shoulders. "Let's go." They loaded into the car and drove first to Sam and Emily's. She went overboard with their treats, of course, not just giving them candy. She had a bag for each of them full of candy and another full of cookies decorated like pumpkins and bats. Emily oohed and aahed over their costumes and even got out her camera to take a picture of them.

"I promise to make two copies for you so you can send one to Leah. It was really sweet of her to send Travis that costume," Emily said to Paul then noticed that the mention of her name still caused him to flinch just a little. _Poor Paul_, she thought. _When is he going to give up and move on?_

"Yeah. We can't get him to take it off! He sleeps in it every night. Grandma finally snuck it into the washer while he was at school the other day," Paul told her then he sobered as he added, "He really misses Leah."

"Hmm, I have a feeling he isn't the only one."

Paul gave Emily a small smile as he thanked her for being so good to the boys then he quickly herded them to the car to go to their next stop.

After Emily's, they went to see Rachel. She, too, had a sack of candy for each of them and she fussed over their costumes. When they turned to leave, Rachel kissed Paul and whispered, "I like your costume. What are you? A werewolf?"

Paul laughed at her comment and kissed her back then got into the car with the boys to continue their adventure. From there they went to see Sue and then he parked the car and they walked through town and hit as many houses as they could. Their sacks weighed so much, Paul had to carry Travis' bag because it was too heavy for him.

When they got home, Paul had them dump their bags on the living room floor so he could inspect it all. "Oh my, look at all of that! Now we'll have to save up some money for a trip to the dentist," Ruth exclaimed.

Paul let them eat what they wanted for awhile then he had them gather it up so he could put their bags on top of the fridge. He knew Tyler could reach it and he trusted him, but he didn't trust Travis. Paul did not want to be cleaning up any puke, no matter that Leah had said in her card it was every kid's right. He did not follow that same philosophy.

"Alright, you two, it's still a school night. Go get ready for bed, Travis. Tyler, do you have any homework to finish?" Ruth asked.

"I have to read two chapters in my book for English."

"Alright. Get your book and you can sit in my room if you need some quiet," Ruth offered. "But wash that makeup off your face first, and get that goop out of your hair."

Tyler smiled and nodded then went to the bathroom as Paul popped a bite-sized Reece Cup into his mouth. "Oh man. I forgot how good these things are."

Ruth laughed. "That's quite a haul you boys brought home. Did they have fun?"

Paul grinned as he answered, "I think Travis will live off this night for a long time. Even Tyler had fun. It was a good night."

"Good. I'm glad you took them," Ruth smiled. "I like that the three of you are getting closer. You need each other."

"Yeah, quite a change from when they first got here, huh?"

"Oh, I wanted to kill all three of you!" Ruth admitted with a laugh. "But, now, I think I'd be lost without all of you."

Paul nodded in agreement . . . he knew just what she meant. He had to admit to himself he was starting to feel the same. Just then, Travis walked back into the living room to announce, "I'm ready for bed."

"Give Grandma a kiss and I'll take you to bed tonight," Paul said as he pushed himself off of the futon.

Travis kissed Ruth and then ran in front of Paul to his room to jump up onto the bed and ask, "Paul? Can you read me Thomas tonight? And read it like Leah does with all the voices."

It was like Travis shoved a knife into Paul's heart. He had loved watching Leah read this book to Travis. She gave a different voice to every character and Travis ate it up. Paul sighed as he sat down next to Travis to say, "I can read it, but I can't do the voices like Leah. That's something just for you and her, OK?"

Travis nodded sadly. "When is she coming home?"

"I don't know, buddy. Maybe at Christmas, but I don't know that for sure."

"I'm kind of sleepy. Maybe we can read it tomorrow night," Travis mumbled as he laid down.

"OK." Paul stood up and covered Travis with the blanket before kissing him on the forehead. "Good night, buddy."

Paul turned the light off and before he could leave the room, Travis said, "Thank you for taking me Trick of Treating. It was the best night I ever had."

Paul smiled as he admitted, "I had fun, too." Closing the door part way, Paul walked back to the living room realizing that kid had really wormed his way into his heart. 

_Dear Leah,_

_You are officially the coolest person in the universe. The costume was a big success and Travis only takes it off to go to school. He wears it ALL the time - even to sleep in! As you can see by the picture I sent with this letter, it fits just right. Don't you love Tyler's costume? I lost it when he walked out in that thing. I think I hurt his feelings but I couldn't believe out of all the costumes he could have picked, he would choose to be a fucking bloodsucker! I, of course, went as the hottest looking werewolf in the world as you can clearly see in the picture. We hauled in enough candy to last I think until next Halloween. It was an awesome night._

_We had a birthday party for Travis last night. He asked for the same kind of cake I had for my birthday, so of course, that is what he got. I think he's starting to get a little spoiled, but that's OK. He has 7 years to make up for. He loved the dream catcher and we hung it up right away over his bed. Grandma gave him the blanket she had been knitting for him because he has been getting cold at night. He loved it because she made it blue, like Thomas. (How long is this obsession going to last?) Tyler even gave him a gift - Collin had a bunch of Legos that he decided he was done with (yeah, right), so he packaged them up for Tyler to give to Travis. He LOVED them. But if I step on another one of those damn things in my bare feet in the middle of the night again, out they go! Those things hurt like hell!_

_He also loved that you sent him a card with Thomas on it for his birthday. Thanks so much for remembering him. He asked me the other night to read that Thomas book to him and do the voices like you do, but I couldn't do it. I remember how I loved watching you as you read him that book. He misses that alot. I guess I do, too._

_We had our fist snow this morning. Just flakes. How about you? Oh no. I mentioned the weather. Sorry. Lamo letter writing is returning. I'll try harder. _

_OK, I better go. Still miss you like hell. Guess I always will._

_Love,_

_Paul  
_

Leah held out the picture of Paul and the boys that Emily took on Halloween. They all had the same grin on their faces . . . you could really tell they were brothers. Paul was kneeling beside Travis in his Thomas costume, and Tyler was doing his best Dracula impression, showing his fake fangs. She laughed at that and had to admit, Paul was right. It was pretty funny.

Leah ran her finger lightly over Paul's face as her chest grew tight at the sight of his smiling face. It was the first time she had seen his face in over three months and she still missed him so much. Quickly wiping away the tear that rolled down her face, she propped the picture up against her lamp on the nightstand by her bed then she unfolded the other sheet of paper that was in the envelope with Paul's letter. It was written in pencil in large letters:

DEAR LEAH,

THANK YOU FOR THE COSTUME. I LOVE IT! AND THE CARD. I AM 7 NOW.

I MISS YOU. LOVE TRAVIS

Leah smiled at the way he made his S's backwards and remembered that she used to do that, too, when she was little. As she lay back and closed her eyes, she willed her heart to stop aching. _Be strong, Leah. You have to stay strong. _But it was getting harder and harder to do. 

_Dear Paul,_

_I will start right off by answering the question you most want answered - yes, we have snow here. Thank you so much for your burning inquiry. LAME!_

_Big news! I found a job here working in the campus cafeteria! Yes, go ahead and make your jokes - I am now a cafeteria lady. And yes, I wear a hairnet. But I think I make the look work on me. At least my girlfriend thinks so (wink, wink). Anyway, between working and homework, I don't have a lot of free time right now, and that's OK with me._

_Thank you so much for the picture. I love it! Although, I think you and Tyler should have traded costumes. Would have been interesting to see you dressed like a bloodsucker. (Hot werewolf? Really? That's what you were going for? Hmmm, I thought you were with hot bag boy from the grocery store.)_

_I let my roommate talk me into going to a party on Halloween. It was fun for like the first hour. I had a couple of beers, talked to a few people from my anatomy class, but after I had my ass grabbed at least 6 times by slobbering drunks, I decided it was time to call it a night. Either that or phase right there and give them a real scare. Hmmm, maybe next Halloween._

_I got the new picture Travis colored for me. It's hanging on my wall next to the other one. I am dedicating that wall to his art, so tell him to keep sending them. Makes me feel good to know that he hasn't forgotten me._

_Well, I need to get to work. (I sound like you!) Write soon. I really look forward to your letters. If this is the only way we can be together then let's make the best of it, OK? _

_Love,_

_Leah_

_Dear Leah,_

_I can't tell you how many cafeteria lady fantasies you are fulfilling for me . . . it must be the hairnet. What a turn-on! _

_So now you are an official college student - you have been to a college party. I am a little disappointed that you didn't get drunk, dance naked on a table or get arrested. Oh well, maybe next time. _

_Travis is hard at work on a series of artwork for you. I will say that the picture he drew of me and him fishing is my personal favorite. Although, his stick figure didn't really capture my hot muscular body . . . you'll just have to use your imagination to fill in the rest. _

_Ty came home from school yesterday with a black eye, but he wouldn't talk about it at all. He just locked himself in his room until I threatened to kick the fucking door in. Finally he opened it and told me what happened. He said that some kid in his class wanted to cheat off of him during a test and Ty told him no. He covered his paper with his arm so the kid couldn't see and after school, the kid jumped him and popped him one in the eye. I guess Ty got him back and luckily, Jared broke it up before the principal did. Apparently Collin and Brady got there just as Jared picked the other kid up off the ground and told him if he ever so much as looked at Tyler cross-eyed, he'd have to deal with him. That's when Collin and Brady stepped up and each of them said, "Yeah, and me." The kid took off running when Jared put him down and he brought Ty home. It embarrassed Ty pretty bad. He told them he could take care of himself and he didn't need them fighting his fights for him. I told him he should be glad he has friends who care enough about him to be there for him. But I get it. I would have rather beat the shit out of that kid myself that have Jared come to my rescue._

_Thanksgiving we went to Sam and Emily's. Em, Kim and your mom made enough food for an army! Even a pack of werewolves could barely eat it all! Travis ate too much pumpkin pie and threw up on the way home. At least he told me in time and I stopped the car and Tyler shoved his head out the door. I thanked Ty for saving me from cleaning up puke. I HATE cleaning up puke._

_I don't know if your mom told you or not, but I guess Sam and Emily are finally getting married. You OK with that? I mean, it's not like you didn't see it coming, right? But I know it has to hurt a little. At least, I hope it only hurts a little. Personally, I don't get what you ever saw in the guy. He's not nearly as good-looking as me. _

_Do you think you'll be home for Christmas? Travis asked me the other day when he could see you again and I just wondered. If you don't want to see me, I get that, but I know that the boys would really like to see you. For the record, I would, too._

_I look forward to your letters, too. It helps to know that even though you are so far away, you still think about me. Because I think about you, too. A lot._

_Love,_

_Paul  
_

Paul reread the letter and felt a pang of guilt. He was supposed to be trying to forget how he felt about Leah, and here he was writing her letters like a love-sick jerk. He had been trying with Rachel, he really had. But something always held him back. As he looked down again at the letter, he knew this was what was holding him back. He still had this connection to Leah and as long as he did, he knew he could never fully commit to Rachel.

Paul had continued to see Rachel as often as he could, and they actually had fallen into a friendship of sorts. Rachel kept pushing for them to be more sexually active, and for the first time in Paul's life, he was dragging his feet. It's not that he wasn't attracted to Rachel, because he was. She was hot, there was no denying that. He had given in a few times after that first night and they had sex, but it was hard for Paul to concentrate and not see Leah.

Remembering how Sam told him he never forgot about Leah, but he moved on and put her in the past, Paul knew that's what he should do, too, but he just didn't know how. Shoving the letter into the envelope, Paul licked it shut and added the stamp. Leah was right. If this was the only way they had to be together, he would make the best of it.

Jared, on the other hand, had a problem with it. They were on patrol one night when, as usual, Paul was moping about Leah.

_"For God's sake, Paul, would you knock it off? You're making me all mopey over Leah and I can't take it!"_

_"Sorry, bro. I can't fucking help it. I wish I could. You think I like feeling miserable all the time? You think I like having a beautiful girl throwing herself at me every day and I can't get it up for her? Do you have ANY fucking idea how THAT feels?"_

_"Whoa, happy to say I don't. I have no problem in that department."_

_"Yeah, I know. You need to tone it down just a touch, dude. It's getting harder for me to look Kim in the face, you know?"_

_"Yeah, sorry. But, look dude, enough is enough. You can't have Leah, OK? You have to get that through your thick skull. She's gone, and you have Rachel. Come on, man. Rachel is gorgeous and smart and cool. Why can't you see that?"_

_"I DO see that. Believe me, she's in my fucking head all the time. But so is Leah. I am in a constant battle between them. I know I'm hurting Rachel. I try really hard when I'm with her to think just about her, and sometimes it works. But more and more, Leah creeps in and I just can't take it, so I've been avoiding Rachel, which just pisses her off."_

Jared trotted on and tried to think about something else. ANYTHING else. Paul was killing all of them with his miserable attitude and fucked up thoughts. _"Hey, remember when we were kids and we decided to explore that cave down by the beach? You thought Yogi Bear lived there."_

_"No, YOU thought Yogi Bear lived there. I thought it was Smokey the Bear."_

_"Oh yeah, right. Well, we found out no bears lived there, but it sure scared the shit out of us when all those bats came flying at us!"_

_"I couldn't sleep for a week!"_

_"Me either."_

They spent the rest of their patrol trying hard to relive memories from their childhood to keep Paul's mind off of his troubles. Finally they reported back to Sam and phased out to go home.

"Thanks, J. I know what you're trying to do, and . . . I appreciate it."

Jared smiled. "It's OK. I know you'd do the same for me. See ya."

"Yep, see ya."

Jared's trip down memory lane helped for that moment, but the next day, Paul lost it on Travis and he felt like complete shit.

Travis had left his Legos out on the living room floor while he went to eat lunch, and Paul, who had slept late, got up and stepped on them with his bare feet. "Travis, god damnit! Get your ass in here and clean up these fucking Legos! NOW!" he roared.

Travis came running in and hit the floor, trying hard to scoop them up as fast as he could. "I have told you over and over not to leave these fucking things all over the floor! Why don't you just listen to me?"

Ruth had come in behind him. "Paul, that's enough!" she scolded. "Don't use that language with him."

Travis was crying as he picked up the Legos and shoved them into the box as fast as he could go. As Paul looked down at him, he felt horrible. How many times had this poor kid been screamed at like that by their mother? That really put things in perspective for Paul. Squatting down beside his little brother, he said gently, "Travis, I'm sorry, buddy. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Travis looked up at him and ran the back of his hand under his nose. "I'm sorry, Paul. I won't leave them on the floor anymore. Don't be mad at me, OK?"

"Come here," Paul sighed as he sunk to his knees. Travis moved to Paul and as he wrapped his arms around the little boy, he said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you like that. You can play with them any time you want. Just pick them up when you're done, OK?"

Travis's head bobbed up and down. "I will. I promise."

"OK. I'm not mad at you. Forgive me?" Paul asked and immediately Travis nodded. "Good. I love you, buddy."

"I love you, too," Travis said softly, then he turned and picked up the box of Legos and took them back to his room.

Paul put his head down and rubbed his eyes.

"Well, what was that all about?" Ruth asked.

Looking up at her, Paul admitted, "I had another dream about Leah . . . it was pretty intense, then I woke up and . . . I'm sorry, Grandma. I didn't mean to go off on him like that. I'm just so . . . "

"Miserable, I know. And you're making everyone around you miserable, Pauly. That boy adores you. He doesn't deserve that. You need to get a grip on your emotions and stop taking it out on those that love you."

"I know. I promise, I'll try harder."

And he did try . . . but it just didn't matter. No matter what he did, he made himself miserable, he made Rachel miserable, and now it was affecting his family. Something was going to have to give. He just didn't know what that would be. 

Christmas was coming fast and Paul was worried about providing some gifts for the boys. Travis had written a letter to Santa all about wanting a Thomas train track and train for Christmas. He swore he had been a really good boy this year and he hoped that Santa wouldn't forget his present like last year.

Paul sat down with Tyler and asked him about that. "Yeah, Mom was in a bad way last year and she didn't get us any presents. I found a little tree at this lot and asked the guy if I helped him clean up the lot, could I have the tree. He agreed and I brought it home and we put it in a little sand bucket that Travis had and then we made some ornaments for it out of construction paper and stuff. It didn't look too bad, really. Travis wrote a letter for Santa asking for some truck he wanted. I had gone to Goodwill the day before and found that puppy that he sleeps with for fifty cents and the Thomas book for another 50 cents. I wrapped them and put them under the tree for him, but I didn't know about the truck until he put the letter out with a cookie on a plate for Santa. In the morning, he opened his gifts and loved them, but then he asked Mom why he didn't get the truck. Of course, she was hungover so she mumbled something about how Santa must have forgot it at the 'North fucking Pole.' Then she took more aspirin and went back to bed."

Paul shook his head and again had to fight the urge to kill Doreen. "What about you? Didn't you buy yourself something?"

"No," Tyler replied with a shake of his head. "I only had a dollar to spare. It was a tough week. During the holidays, she always spent whatever she could get her hands on on booze. I hid what I could for food. I just told Travis that I was on the naughty list and maybe I'd be good next year so I could get a present."

"Well, Ty, I think you've been good this year, so, we'll see what we can do. I may need your help with some ideas though."

Tyler shook his head. "No, I know how tight money is around here. Don't worry about it. Just get Travis something."

Paul was amazed that Tyler truly meant that. He was determined that he would do eveything he could do make sure he found something for this kid. If anyone deserved it, it was Tyler.

Rachel insisted on helping Paul shop for the boys, so they drove to a Wal-Mart in Forks and found the Thomas train that Travis wanted. It was a lot more than Paul wanted to spend, but he kept thinking how much Travis would love it. This kid had never had a decent Christmas in his life and Paul was determined this would be a good one. Finally, he gave in and bought it. He could travel wolf to and from work for awhile and do without gas in the car. It would be worth it to see Travis' face on Christmas morning.

For Tyler, he bought two bound journals for him to write in instead of just spiral bound notebooks, and he added two really nice pens. He was still writing every day, and he hoped he would really like them.

On a whim, Paul added another journal and decided he would give it to Leah. He knew she wouldn't want him to buy her a gift, but he couldn't help it. It just seemed right. He had also made her a dream catcher. He even had Billy carve him a small wolf charm and he hung it right in the middle. She was still his buddy, after all, and he decided if he wanted to give her a gift, damnit, he would give her a gift and she would just have to shut up and accept it.

Paul knew his grandma would get a few clothing items for each of them and that was OK by him, because he always needed clothes. For her, he bought a Paula Deen cookbook. Ruth loved watching her on TV, so he hoped she would like the cookbook.

Paul wrapped the gifts at Rachel's (except for Leah's) and hid them in the trunk of his car. He wrapped Leah's journal and dream catcher and hid it under the futon until he found out if she was coming home for Christmas. If not, he would mail them.

Then there was Rachel. He had no idea what to get her. Even after all this time, they still didn't know each other that well, and he wasn't really sure where their relationship was headed. He shared that with Jared on a rare day when he was without Kim. It was Paul's Saturday off and they were hanging out at Jared's, watching college football and eating most everything in the kitchen.

"Man, you guys are so weird. By this time, Kim and I were attached at the hip and having sex anytime we were alone! I couldn't be away from her for like two minutes without dying. How do you do it?"

"I have no idea. Even the sex is kind of weird. I mean, I'm a guy, so I want to have sex, but once we get started, I kind of have to force myself to keep going. That is so not me, dude. I never had that problem with . . . "

"Leah, yeah I know. That's your problem right there. You won't let go of her."

"I've tried!" Paul shouted. "Damnit! I try and try, but I just can't. I get so damn sick and tired of everyone telling me how I should feel and what I should do. It's so fucking unfair that I know who I want to be with and who I want to love, but I'm being forced to be with someone else!" Without realizing it, Paul kicked the footstool that sat in front of the chair near the couch and sent it sailing across the room into the bookcase, knocking a plant off of the top. "Shit," Paul muttered as he got up to clean up the plant.

"I know that you feel forced, Paul," Jared said. "We _all _know that and I agree with you. It _is_ unfair. But you have to let her go or you'll spend the rest of your life in this fucking limbo, never being satisfied." Jared pushed himself off the couch then said to Paul, "Here, give me that." Jared took the plant and set it back on top of the bookshelf. "I'll sweep that up later."

Paul nodded and they walked back to the couch and plopped down as Paul sighed and grabbed the bag of Doritos. "I know what I have to do, but I fucking hate it. I know what I want and what I want, I can't have. It just doesn't make sense. I can tell with Rachel, too. She says she wants to do this, and she wants sex, that's for sure. But, I feel like she's only trying half-way, you know? She's not fully committed either."

"Because you're not. If you jumped into this and truly accepted the imprint, she would feel that and react to it. But you're only in half-way, so she is too."

"So, back to Christmas. What do I get her?"

"I don't know. Girls are so fucking hard to buy for."

Paul smiled as he remembered how easy it had been to pick up the journal for Leah. He didn't even have to think about it. "What did you get Kim?"

"An engagement ring," Jared said with a grin.

"No fucking way!"

Jared nodded, "Yep, the real thing."

"No shit? A real ring? Are you nuts? You're still in high school, dipshit. How are you going to get married?"

"Well, I'm not planning on getting married right now. Once we graduate, Dad says I can work with him, so, maybe next year at this time or something." Jared's dad was a contractor and Paul and Jared used to help him in the summers before they turned wolf and before Paul found his job at the store.

That gave Paul an idea. "Does he need help now? I need more money. I mean, Pete's given me as many hours as he can and a raise and it's still not enough to feed us and pay all the bills. I'm worried about paying the heat bill this winter."

Jared shrugged. "You can ask him, I guess. He could probably get you something part-time at least."

Paul thought that over and decided he would talk to Chuck as soon as he could. He was family after all, and he hoped that he would be willing to help family. He looked over at Jared who was emptying the crumbs at the bottom of the bag of Doritos directly into his mouth and said, "You still didn't help me solve the problem of a gift for Rachel."

Jared threw the bag onto the coffee table and asked, "What does she like to do?"

"I don't know. She's a good cook, and she told me once she likes to bake pie because it makes her think of her mom."

"Well, there you go. Get a fancy pie plate or a pie cookbook or something and make sure you tell you bought it because she told you it reminded her of her mom. Girls eat that stuff up."

Paul grinned. "How did you learn so much about girls? You've only had one girlfriend."

"I got around before Kim."

"Yeah, right. Playing Spin the Bottle at a party in 9th grade does not count." They shared a laugh over that memory then Paul stood up and announced he had to go. "Thanks, bro, for the suggestion. What time does your dad usually get home?"

"Around six."

Paul nodded, "I'll give him a call."

"See you, P."

"Yep. Bye." Paul walked out into the cold afternoon. There was a touch of snow in the air and he felt a little lighter in his step as he made his way home. He really hoped Chuck would have some hours for him. That would make his New Year much brighter.

Paul scooped up the letter as soon as he walked into the house then sat right down at the kitchen table and ripped it open. He was praying for good news.

_Dear Paul,_

_I feel so bad for Tyler getting a black eye! I'm glad that the guys were there to back him up, too. I know you men like to fight your own battles, but sometimes it's good to have backup. At least that's what I was told when I ran off on my own once. (Ouch!) Anyway, tell Tyler that I'm proud of him for not letting this fucking jerk cheat off of him. I hate cheaters!_

_Yes, Mom told me about the big wedding, and I have been ordered to attend. I guess it's not until May, and I have two weeks off then. Can I hate Emily any more for planning her wedding during the only two weeks I get off until the beginning of August? Anyway, to answer your question, yes it hurt at first, but, I am SO over Sam. WAY over him. All that shit is in the past and that's where it will stay. And you're right - you are better looking, but don't let it go to your head. Oh no, too late._

_On Thanksgiving here, I did something I have never done before. I went downtown with a friend of mine from anatomy class and we served at a soup kitchen. It was very humbling. It made me miss my family (and yes, I mean ALL of my family, pack and all) very much, but it also made me feel good to help others less fortunate than me. After I got home and was thinking about that, it reminded me of something a good friend once told me: that I should think of what I have and not what I don't. I thought about our nice house and my room and my bed, and my great mom who loves me more than anything, and Seth, and all of my pack brothers. I found myself being very thankful for all those things. And for the best friend that reminded me of those things. For him, I'm very thankful._

_And now for that real burning question you are dying to get an answer to: No, I won't be home for Christmas. I hate that, I really do, but I just can't afford it right now and with my job, I only have one week off. I start a J-term class right after New Year's for 3 weeks then spring session starts. Mom said that she and Seth would drive out and spend Christmas here with me, but I hate for her to do that. She doesn't really have the money either, but you know Sue Clearwater. Once she makes up her mind, you just get out of the way._

_I do have gifts for the boys, and I will send them soon. And as for seeing you sometime when I do come home, I know it's not a good idea, but, when has anything we have ever done been a good idea? If I come home, yes, I would like to see you. We're still buddies, right? At least, I hope so._

_Love, _

_Leah  
_

_Damnit_! Paul's fist hit the kitchen table. _Why did she pick a school so damn far away? _Dropping the letter on the table, Paul rested his head in his hands.

"Bad news, honey?" Ruth asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"Leah says she won't be home for Christmas," Paul said as he looked up at Ruth. He then explained what Leah had said in her letter.

"Oh, that's too bad. It would be awful to be so far away on Christmas with no family around you."

"Her mom told her she and Seth would drive out and spend the holiday with her because she can't get home."

"Well, that's good." Ruth put her hand on his shoulder and then looked down at him with that knowing look only a grandma can give. "You're never going to give up on her, are you?"

Shaking his head, Paul said softly, "Sometimes I wish I could. I know it would be better for all of us. Rachel is trying, and I try, but . . . " Paul sighed, "Leah is always there."

Ruth dropped a kiss on his head as she left him to open the fridge and take out the hamburger for dinner. "I'm sorry, Paul. I really am. I hate to see you so miserable. I love Leah, too, honey, and she fit right into this family. I really thought she was the one. But unfortunately, I guess your wolf had other plans. Until you figure this out, the three of you will always just be drifting."

"You think I don't know that?" Paul exploded as jumped from the chair and moved to the back door and to look out the window. "I am so damn sick and tired of thinking about this and trying to understand it! I want Leah. I want her now and I'll want her forever." He turned back toward Ruth to whine like a six-year-old, "I hate this, Grandma. Why is this happening?"

Her heart breaking for her grandson, Ruth walked over to put her arms around him and hold him close. "I don't know, Pauly. I hate it, too. I wish you and Leah could be together. You've fought it for this long, so who knows? Maybe there will be chance for you someday. Just hang in there and don't give up. I know that everyone else is telling you to give in to the imprint and just be happy with Rachel . . ." Ruth pulled back to look Paul in the eye as she continued, "And, Rachel is a fine woman, and I would be very happy for you to settle down with her if you loved her. But, Pauly," she touched her hand to her cheek, "she isn't Leah. There's a saying that goes, 'The heart wants what the heart wants.' And if Leah is who your heart wants then wait for her."

Paul gave her a smile and told her, "No matter how bad I feel, you always have a way of making me feel better. How do you do that?"

"It's a grandmother's secret." Paul laughed at that and kissed her on the cheek. She was the one thing in his life he could always count on. Always. 

Paul made that call to Chuck, Jared's dad, and asked him if he had work for him.

"Jared told me you were interested and explained your problem. Right now, we're a little slow, but starting January 15th, I've got a contract to work on the old bank building in Forks. They want to convert it into office space. I know I'll need some help then. Are you up for it?"

"Yes! Definitely, yes."

"Good. I'll call you when it gets closer with the details. I'm still working on the contract, so I'm not sure what I can offer you salary wise. I should know after the first of the year."

"That's fine. Thanks alot. I really appreciate you giving me a chance."

"I remember you're a good worker, Paul. I'll be glad to have you."

Paul thanked him again and hung up. _This is good. This is really good_.

Walking into the living room, Paul was feeling a little lighter until he found his Grandma asleep in her chair. She had been doing that quite a bit recently, and it worried him a little. He knew she was getting older, but he didn't want to admit it to himself. Glancing at the clock, he noted it was only a little after seven. Travis was playing quietly on the floor with his Legos and Tyler was in his room, probably writing.

Paul touched his grandma on the arm. "Grandma? You OK?"

Ruth jumped at his touch and looked at him. "Hmm? Yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess." She smiled at him as she picked up her knitting and tried to figure out where she left off.

"I talked to Jared's dad, Chuck, about taking me on. He told me he has a big job coming up in January and that he would be glad to hire me then. Isn't that great? We'll need the money for the heat bill."

"Paul that's great. But, what about your job at the store?"

"I'll work both, if I can. We need the money, Grandma."

Laying her knitting into her lap, Ruth looked at him to say, "Pauly, you work too hard. I worry about you."

Paul smiled at that. "Don't worry about me, Grandma. Someone once told me 'a little hard work never hurt you.' "

She chuckled, "What ninny told you something like that?"

"I think it was you, Grandma Ninny," Paul returned with a laugh.

"Grandma Ninny. That's funny!" Travis giggled as he snapped his Legos in place.

"Oh, you think that's funny, do you?" Paul asked with a grin as he crawled on the floor toward Travis. Once he reached him, Paul grabbed Travis and began tickling him and thoroughly enjoyed the sound of Travis' laughter. Before long, Tyler came out of his room to see what was going on and Ruth laughed as Tyler dove in and joined in the fun.

As Ruth watched all three of her grandsons rolling in laughter on the floor, she felt a happiness sweep over her that she hadn't felt in a long, long time. They may not have much money, but they had love, and that was something these three boys needed more than anything. She hoped that from now on, these brothers would be family and stick together, no matter what. They would need each other after she was gone and it did her heart good to know they would be alright. 

Leah pulled the card from the mailbox and wondered why Paul was sending her a card. She opened it on the way to her dorm room and as soon as she saw it, she broke out laughing. It was a picture of a goofy looking cat hanging from a tree branch that said, "Hang in There!" She opened it and read:

_Dear Leah,_

_Seth told Jared and Jared told me (what is this 6th grade?) that you were studying hard for your first finals. I was walking through the drug store and saw this ridiculous card and had to buy it for you. I just wanted to say again that I'm really proud of you. As hard as it is to be so far away from you, I think you're doing a good thing._

_Love,_

_Paul_

She smiled as she reached her dorm room and unlocked the door. Big, mean, bad boy, Paul sent her a card to tell her he was proud of her. She liked it. She liked it a lot.

__

Dear Paul,

_I loved the card! You're such a dork. I have it sitting on my desk where I do most of my studying. I have my last final tomorrow, THANK GOD! It's a math final, so I'm not too worried about it, but anatomy and physiology is so fucking hard! (My roommate is appalled by my foul mouth by the way. I guess she's never hung out with a pack of werewolves. Her loss.) Anyway, did you know that there are 206 bones in the human body and that each one has a different name? Not to mention where it's located, what it's function is, the muscles attached to it and the nerves and on and on and on. AHHHHHHHH! Sometimes I think my brain will explode from all the information I am trying to cram into it. I knew college would be challenging, but sometimes it scares me at how much harder it is going to get. This is only my first semester!_

_My roommate (Jamie, her name is Jamie. I guess I could call her that instead of "my roommate!") OK, so Jamie got a small fake Christmas tree to put in our room. It has lights and decorations on it and makes the room look more festive. But for some reason, it just depresses me . . . I feel like Charlie Brown. I am trying to be brave about not coming home for Christmas, but I have to admit it's really hard. I'm glad Mom and Seth are coming here. I would be a mess if I had to be here alone. (Yes, I admitted I'm weak. It's the holidays, so suck it!)_

_I loved the Christmas card that Travis made me. It took me awhile to realize it was a reindeer! (Please don't tell him that.) He seems very excited about Santa coming this year. He is so cute and I miss him a lot._

_This will be a really different Christmas for you with your brothers here this year. I'm happy that you all have each other. I'll be thinking about you and wishing I was there._

_Love, _

_Leah_


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

SIMPLY HAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME 

There was a thump on the door a couple of nights before Christmas and Tyler looked up from his book to Ruth to ask, "What was that?"

"Santa?" Travis asked excitedly.

"No, dummy, it's not Christmas Eve yet," Tyler told him. Then they heard it again and this time Paul hollered out, "Someone open the damn door!"

Tyler got up and ran to the door with Travis hot on his heals. Tyler opened the door and was shocked to see Paul trudge in dragging a Christmas tree behind him.

"Oh my gosh it's a tree! Where did you get it, Paul? It's awesome!" Travis was jumping up and down as Tyler reached out to help Paul drag it inside.

"You know the tree lot by the store? He only had about five trees left and since it's only a couple days til Christmas, he sold it to me for $5! I couldn't believe it." He had called his grandma before he came home to warn her and she had gotten out the tree stand. He took it and put it on the tree then he moved it into the living room where Tyler and Ruth quickly made a spot in the corner at the end of the futon.

"There. What do you think?" It wasn't a big tree. It was probably about 5 1/2 feet tall, and it had a bare spot that Paul turned to the corner, but even Paul had to admit, it didn't look too bad.

Travis was still jumping up and down. "I love it!" Paul laughed at that . . . Travis LOVED everything.

Paul got the box of Christmas decorations down from the attic and Tyler and Travis dug in like it was treasure. Paul found a couple of strings of those old-fashioned big bulb lights that actually worked and he strung them on the tree then he let Tyler and Travis hang the ornaments. Ruth sat back and watched with a huge smile on her face. She loved seeing her boys so happy.

"Hey, Travis, want to put the star on top?" Paul asked.

"Sure!" he answered excitedly. Paul picked Travis up and helped him slip the star down onto the top branch and then he reached to straighten it until Ruth announced it was just right.

"There," Paul said as he stepped back, Travis still perched on his arm. "Perfect."

"Wow, it's awesome," Travis stated.

"Yeah, pretty cool. It's the first real big tree we've ever had, huh, Trav?" Tyler said.

"Yeah."

As Paul stood there with his brothers, he felt really happy for the first time in months. While still holding Travis, Paul reached out the other arm and put it around Tyler's shoulder. "We did good, guys. I like it."

Travis laid his head on Paul's shoulder and asked, "You think Santa will like it?"

Paul smiled at that. "Santa will love it."

Christmas Eve was excruciating! All day Travis was so wound up. He talked non-stop about Santa and the reindeer and asked at least a million questions about how Santa could visit every house in one night and what kind of food the reindeer ate and why didn't Mrs. Claus ride in the sleigh and on and on and on!

Ruth finally got him into his pajamas, then he had to make sure to pick out the cookies from the batch they had made earlier in the day to leave for Santa, along with a glass of milk. That took at least a half hour! He put them on the table by the tree and asked Paul if he could stay up to wait for Santa.

"Don't you know that if you aren't sleeping, Santa won't stop?"

Travis gasped. "No, I didn't!"

"You better get to bed, buddy. I would hate for Santa to pass us by."

Travis took off at a run for his bedroom, shouting out his good night as he ran.

Paul and Tyler laughed and Ruth just looked at them. "Paul, you are so ornery."

"Well, the kid is bouncing off the walls! It's almost ten and he needs to go to sleep."

"I know. Let's wait a little bit to make sure he's asleep then we'll get to work," she said quietly.

The three of them finished watching "It's a Wonderful Life" on TV while Tyler and Paul munched their way through a bowl of popcorn. After the movie ended, Paul looked at Tyler and said, "I think you need to get to bed, too. I believe that Santa may be bringing you a gift or two, you know."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "I'm too big to believe in Santa."

"Do you want the presents or not?" Paul asked him.

Tyler stared at him for about a second then got up and said, "I guess I am pretty tired. Good night." He walked quickly to his room and closed the door as Paul laughed.

Paul snuck out to his car to bring in the presents and as he put them under the tree with the gifts from his grandma, he thought it didn't look too bad. Emily had brought over stockings for the boys filled with candy and a couple of small gifts, telling Paul to put them out on Christmas Eve, so he pulled those out of the closet and placed them on the table beside the plate of cookies and glass of milk Travis left out.

Ruth smiled. "My, that's a lot of presents. I think that's the most I've ever seen in this house!"

"Well, they deserve a nice Christmas for once."

"Yes, they do. If only Doreen were different . . ." Ruth said wistfully. "But she's not, so we'll do the best we can for them." Paul nodded and picked up one of the cookies Travis left for Santa and bit into it as Ruth smiled at him. "You make a good Santa, Paul," she told him as she kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, honey. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Grandma. Great cookies!" Ruth beamed at his compliment then turned and walked to her room and closed the door.

As Paul ate the rest of the cookies and then drank the milk, he found for once he was just as excited as Travis! He finally turned off the TV then laid back against his pillows and looked down at the foot of his futon at the Christmas tree. He flipped on his clock radio to listen to a little music to help him sleep, and as he closed his eyes, as always, his thoughts turned to Leah. He wished more than anything she could be here with them for Christmas. He had put her gift in the mail and hoped it got there before Christmas. They had received her package for the boys yesterday, and he put the wrapped presents under the tree with the others.

As he listened to the song on the radio, Leah's face floated before him:

_Bells will be ringing this sad, sad news  
Oh what a Christmas to have the blues  
My baby's gone I have no friends  
To wish me greetings once again._

_Choirs will be singing Silent Night  
Christmas carols by candlelight  
Please come home for Christmas  
Please come home for Christmas_

_If not for Christmas, by New Year's night._

Opening his eyes, Paul looked at the tree, wishing Leah were here beside him, looking at the tree and whispering about the gifts they had bought the boys. Then he would make love to her and they would sleep wrapped up together in each other's arms until Travis would wake them early in the morning to see what Santa brought him.

_So won't you tell me you'll never more roam  
Christmas and New Year will find you home  
There'll be no more sorrow no grief and pain  
And I'll be happy, happy, once again  
_

Paul found himself really wishing there was a Santa and he could give him the one thing he wanted more than anything . . . Leah. _So much for wishing. _He reached over and shut off the radio with a yawn then looked back at the tree and whispered, "Merry Christmas, Leah. I love you." Then he closed his eyes and slept.

"Paul! Paul! Santa came! Wake up!" Travis was sitting on top of Paul shaking him. Paul opened one eye and looked at him. "What time is it?" he groaned.

"Time to get up!" Travis cried out. Paul had to laugh at that.

Just then, Tyler came shuffling out of his room. "It's still dark out, Trav. Can't we sleep a little longer?" Then Tyler glanced at the tree and noticed all the presents. "Holy shit!"

"Watch your mouth, Ty," Paul mumbled automatically.

"Sorry, but I've never seen so many presents under a tree before."

Paul smiled and moved Travis so he could sit up. "Wow. Look at all that," he said.

His grandma heard all the noise and soon joined them and the ripping into presents began. Paper flew everywhere as Travis and Tyler's excitement was contagious. Paul sat back and watched them as his presents sat there unopened. The enjoyment of just watching his little brothers was enough for him right now.

"He brought it! Santa brought it! The Thomas train! Look!" Paul grinned as he watched Travis open the box. He was right - it had been worth going without gas in the car for a few days. This was the happiest he had ever seen his little brother.

Paul finally opened his gifts and so did Ruth. She loved the cookbook and spent most of the day reading through it trying to decide which recipes to try first.

The boys all liked the clothes she got them: they each got a new pair of jeans, some socks and underwear, and one new shirt. Paul knew that she has saved most of the year just to buy these things. She also sold things out of her garden to help pay for the gifts. She had always made sure he had presents at Christmas.

Tyler really loved the journals and pens. "Thanks, Paul. This is awesome." Then he opened his gift from Leah and found . . . two journals and a new pen. He and Paul laughed at that. "Well, they say great minds think alike," Ruth said as she winked at Paul.

Travis ripped open his gift from Leah and squealed - for at least the tenth time that morning. "Two new Thomas books!" Travis opened the first book and turned to the first page and . . . Leah's voice came out of the book!

_"Hello morning, goodbye night. It's time to start the day off right . . . "_

"Did you hear that? It's Leah!" Travis sat entranced while Leah's recorded voice read the book to him. Paul listened, too, as he hadn't heard that voice in four months. Letting his eyes drift shut, he pictured Leah here beside him, with Travis on her lap. Her voice weaved around him and for just those few minutes, his heart ached just a little less. Then the story ended and her voiced stopped. Paul opened his eyes slowly and watched Travis walk over with the book under his arm and climb up on his lap.

"Why are you so sad, Paul?" Travis asked.

"I just miss her, Trav. I miss her alot."

Travis laid his head on Paul's shoulder. "Me, too."

Leah got the package in the mail the day before Christmas. Her mom and Seth were at the hotel waiting for her, but she ran to her dorm to change out of her work clothes before she headed over there, and found it there by the mail boxes waiting for her. She grabbed it and ran to her room, where she plopped down on the bed and quickly ripped through the mailing tape and opened the box to take out the wrapped gift and then open the card that was on top.

_Merry Christmas!_

_Don't get mad . . . I decided even buddies can give gifts. I felt so bad that you couldn't come home. I really wanted to meet your new girlfriend (if you know what I mean!)_

_Anyway, I hope you like the gifts and think of me when you look at them. I miss you so much, Leah. More and more everyday. _

_Have a Merry Christmas,_

_I love you,_

_Paul  
_

Leah read that again: _I love you, Paul. He was still fighting it. Waiting for her._ _God, how long could he fight it? How long could he wait?_

Unwrapping her gift, Leah gasped as she lifted the dream catcher and looked at it. It was beautiful! And the little wolf charm made her smile as it was the same color as Paul's fur. Then she noticed the journal and laid the dream catcher on the bed to take out the book. She ran her hand over the cover and then opened it where she found on the inside cover, Paul had written: _Merry Christmas, Leah! Here's a journal for you to write down all of your longing for me. Love, Paul_

Laughing, Leah remembered that day Seth and Travis had fished while Paul napped under the tree and she wrote in her journal. Paul had teased her about writing all about him, and she sarcastically told him she was filling her notebook with all of her longing for him. Her smile faded. If he only knew how many books she had filled with exactly that.

She held the book to her chest and looked at the picture of him and the boys. "Merry Christmas, Paul. I love you, too."

On Christmas night, the boys were finally in bed and Paul sat down on the futon exhausted. They had all gone to Sam and Emily's for a big Christmas celebration for the whole pack, and Paul had seen Rachel there. He gave her his gift of a new fancy pie plate that his grandma helped him pick out, and he told her he bought it for her because she had told him she thought of her mom when she baked pie. He smiled as she got teary-eyed and hugged him. Jared was right. Girls ate this stuff up.

Rachel gave him a new leather wallet that was handmade by one of the tribal elders. "Do you like it?" she asked right away.

"Yeah, this is really cool," Paul returned along with a genuine smile as he looked it over. It was the nicest wallet he had ever owned. "Thank you, Rachel. I really do like it." He kissed her on the lips and she beamed.

Of course then the guilt set in. Because as he was sitting here with Rachel, kissing her for her gift, he wished with all his heart, she was Leah. Rachel was getting pushier with him for some reason, insisting on spending more time with him. He knew she was right. If he was committed to her and their relationship, he should want to be with her. But he didn't. He had to force himself. That's what made him wonder about this imprint. Jared never had to force himself to be with Kim. From the very beginning, they were attached at the hip. So were Sam and Emily. So why didn't he feel that way about Rachel? Because he couldn't let go of Leah. Period.

Now he was home, the boys and Ruth were in bed, and he was laying on his futon looking at the Christmas tree. "Paul? You asleep?" Ruth surprised him by asking as she walked toward him.

Paul sat and shook his head. "No."

Ruth stopped in front of the futon and held out a small wrapped box. "This was in the box from Leah. I kept it back because I thought maybe you would like to open it in private." Paul took it from her and stared at it in disbelief. _Leah had sent him a gift. _"Good night, honey. Merry Christmas." Ruth smiled and then walked to her bedroom and closed the door.

Paul quickly tore the paper off of the box and opened it. Inside he pulled out a frame and saw Leah smiling back at him. She was sitting on her bed in what he assumed was her dorm room, wearing a gray Washington State t-shirt. Paul felt his heart skip a beat and found he was holding his breath. _God, she's so beautiful. _He noticed that she had let her hair grow out a little longer, and he decided he really liked it. His fingers brushed something on the back of the frame, and he turned it to find a note taped there. Pulling it off, he unfolded it and read:

_Paul,_

_I wanted to send you something for Christmas, but I wasn't sure what. Then I looked at the picture you sent me of you and the boys, and I knew what I wanted to send you. I look at it everyday and it makes me smile. I hope this will do the same for you. _

_Merry Christmas!_

_I love you too,_

_Leah_

_PS There is another picture behind this one. Enjoy._

Curiously, Paul pulled the picture out of the frame and laughed hard as he looked at the other picture. It was Leah and another girl, dressed in tank tops, leaning toward each other like they were going to kiss, and Leah was holding a sign that read: _In your dreams, Paul! _It was perfect . . . and so Leah.

Paul finally slid the picture of just Leah back into the frame and stared at it. Then he noticed Travis' new book lying on the floor and he found himself getting up to pick it up and bring it back with him as he plopped down again on the futon. Setting the book beside him, he opened the first page as he stared at Leah's picture.

_"Hello morning, goodbye night. It's time to start the day off right . . . "_ Leah's voice was like music to his ears.

Paul knew it was pathetic, but he didn't care. He missed her that much.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

CRY BABY CRY

The holidays were over. The Christmas tree was gone and all the presents put away. The boys went back to school and everything went back to normal once again.

Paul was more depressed than ever, but determined to keep trying to make things better. He took Rachel out to dinner one evening and really tried to focus on just her. He asked her questions, and tried to share some of himself with her through stories about him growing up. He also tried to be more affectionate with her, holding her hand and kissing her every now and then. And when he took her home, she invited him in and when they ended up in her room, Paul tried as hard as he could to see just Rachel while they were having sex. It didn't work. He stopped before they got too far, completely racked with guilt at being with Rachel and thinking only of Leah. And she knew. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and wanted to know why she wasn't enough for him. Paul tried to make up something, but it was no use. He made a quick escape then went home and straight into the shower to try and scrub away all the guilt and anger.

Once again, Paul pushed it to the back burner as he dove into work. He even told Sam he would do extra patrols at night because he wasn't sleeping anyway. Finally, during the second week of January, Jared's dad, Chuck, called him and invited him over to his house to talk about the new construction job coming up. Paul was excited and made plans to go over the next morning.

Once he was there and settled in at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, Chuck informed him they were going to start the next Monday and he offered Paul $10 an hour to start. Paul almost fell off his chair! Chuck gave him a pair of steel toe boots to use until he could afford to buy his own, and told him to report to the job site at 7 a.m. on Monday morning. Paul shook hands with him and left the house finally feeling a little bit of weight being lifted from his shoulders. This money would really help them out. And he hoped the physical labor would wear him out enough to actually sleep at night.

After he left Chuck's house, he stopped at the store to talk to Pete. He told him about the new job and asked if he could still work at the store on the weekends.

"Boy, I sure hate to lose you during the week, Paul, but I understand. You got a family to support. I'd be glad to have you here on the weekends. Why don't you go into the back and write down what you want, and I'll schedule it.

Paul stuck his hand out and Pete took it. "Thanks a lot, Pete. You've been really good to me over the years. I really appreciate it."

He took some time to pick up a few groceries, and now he was on his way home to eat lunch with his grandma. He couldn't wait to tell her about the new job. Even though she didn't say it, Paul knew she too was worried about paying their bills this winter.

As Paul pulled into the driveway, he saw an ambulance sitting in front of the door and two men were loading someone into it. Shoving the car into park, Paul jumped out, leaving the door hanging open as he ran to Jared's mom, Carol, who was standing there, her eyes red from crying. "What the hell is going on here?" Paul asked anxiously as soon as he reached her, his heart racing.

Carol's face crumpled as she put her hand on Paul's shoulder to say, "Oh, God, Paul. It's Ruth. Honey, she's gone."

Paul shook his head saying, "No, no, she was fine this morning when I left. What . . ."

Her tears coming faster, Carol tried to explain, "I came over to bring her new prescription and she didn't answer the door. So I went around to the back and . . . found her on the kitchen floor. I called 911 right away."

One of the emergency technicians walked over and Carol sniffed, "This is Ruth's grandson, Paul."

The EMT nodded and explained quickly, "I'm sorry, son. Your grandmother had a massive heart attack. She was gone when we got here. From the way she was laying I would say that she went very quickly and didn't suffer."

Paul just stared at the body on the gurney in the ambulance. _It couldn't be her . . . it couldn't be his grandma._ Visions of his grandma ran through his mind_: her smile, her standing at the kitchen counter mixing up a batch of cookies, her kneeling in the garden . ._ . his head shook back and forth as he stuttered, "T-this can't b-be true. No, it's not . . ."

"We'll take the body to the funeral home and let them know that you'll be contacting them to make arrangements." Paul didn't answer so Carol nodded and said, "Fine, thank you."

The EMT went to shut the door on the ambulance, but Paul rushed him and shoved him away, knocking him to the ground. "NO! Don't take her. Don't take her away! She can't be dead!" Paul screamed as he tried to climb into the ambulance. It took both EMT's to pull him away.

Carol rushed to him and put her arm around him. "Paul, stop it! Paul, honey, let her go. They have to take her now. Ruth wouldn't want you to behave like this."

Finally Paul gave up his struggle and wailed, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as he fell onto his knees. "Noooooooo." As the EMT's got into the ambulance and drove away, Paul looked up and cried, "Why? Why would you take her?" Then he fell over and laid there on the cold, hard ground as the sobs wracked his body. The only person in the world that had ever loved him no matter what, was gone. How could he survive without her? 

"Leah? It's Jared. I got your phone number from your mom. I really need your help."

Leah had answered the phone then looked at the clock through her squinted eyes. It was just after midnight. Glancing over, she found her roommate's bed was empty. Jamie must be spending the night at her boyfriend's again. "Um, sure, what's up?" Leah answered sleepily as she sat up and brushed the hair out of her face.

"It's Paul. Um, I don't know if you heard, but, his grandma died this morning."

Leah closed her eyes as tried to comprehend what Jared had just said. _Oh God, no._ "No, I didn't know. What happened?"

"She had a heart attack and just died. My mom is the one that found her. Paul came home just as they were putting her in the ambulance and he just lost it. Mom had to call Sam to come over and get him off the ground and into the house. He stayed there with him and sent Emily to pick up the boys from school and I went over there as soon as I got out. They didn't take it too well either. Emily decided they should take the boys home with them because Paul was in no shape to take care of them. Sam had to pick both of them up, kicking and screaming, and carry them out of the house and put them in the car. They didn't want to leave Paul. It was horrible."

"Oh my God. They all must be in so much pain," Leah whispered as the tears rolled down her cheeks and she tried hard not to sob while she was on the phone.

"Yeah. But the worst part is, after we all left around seven, Paul went out and got some booze, how we don't know. I went over there around 11 after my patrol to check on him and I found him working on getting himself completely drunk. He physically threw me out of the house and then locked himself inside and he won't let anyone else in. He's a mess, Leah. He won't listen to anyone. Not me, not Rachel. Can you please come home? I know he'll listen to you. Please?"

Leah could hear the desperation in Jared's voice. He really was worried about Paul and since he knew Paul better than anyone, that scared her to death. "Um, yes, of course I'll come. I have to figure out a way to get there. I'll check and see when the next bus leaves. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks, Leah. See you soon."

"Yeah, thanks for calling me Jared. Bye." As Leah hung up, the floodgates opened and the tears came in the form of sobs. Ruth was one of the sweetest women she had ever known, but she was more than that to Paul. She was everything to him. Paul would be completely lost without her. So would Travis and Tyler. This was so unfair! Paul's last letter had sounded like they were all finally becoming one happy family.

After awhile, the sobbing subsided and after cleaning herself up with a pile of tissues, Leah threw her legs over the side of the bed and walked over to her roommate's computer to check the bus schedule and found there was one leaving at 6 a.m. for Seattle. She would have to have her mom meet her there at 2 p.m. when she got in and that should get them home sometime around 6. God, she hated being so far away!

Leah picked up the picture of Paul, Travis and Tyler and stared at it. They all were hurting so much right now. They needed her, and she knew she would do anything she had to do to help them through his. Setting the picture down, Leah picked up the phone to call her mom. 

Sue drove to Seattle to meet Leah's bus and drive her back to La Push. As they finally got closer to home, Leah's heart started racing a little. She had been gone for five months and she hadn't realized just how much she missed this place until right now.

"Just take me straight to Paul's," she said to her mom.

"Are you sure? It's been a really long day, honey . . . "

"Mom. I have to see him - now. Jared said he's bad. I can't wait."

Sue nodded and turned down the road that would take them to Paul's. As Sue stopped the car in front of the house, they noticed the house was dark, except for the light over the kitchen sink. "Are you sure you want to go in there alone?"

"Yes, Mom. I'll be fine. I'll call you if I need you, OK?" Leah grabbed her bag out of the back seat and before she closed the door she said, "Thanks, Mom, for coming to get me."

"You're welcome, honey. See you tomorrow."

Leah closed the door and went around to the back of the house. Paul told her once they hid a key on top of the door frame of the back door. She would have broken the door down if she had to, but she found the key and used it to open the back door and walk inside. The scene that unfolded in front of her broke her heart.

There was a huge hole in the kitchen wall where the phone had been. She could see that Paul had ripped it out of the wall and smashed it against the opposite wall and it lay shattered in pieces on the kitchen floor. There were beer cans everywhere, along with an empty whiskey bottle and there was Paul, sitting in a kitchen chair, his head laying on the table beside a bottle of Jack Daniels that was 3/4 of the way gone. She wasn't sure if he was just sleeping or passed out. Quickly setting her bag down, Leah moved over to Paul, pieces of the phone crunching under her feet. "Paul? Paul, it's me Leah," she said softly as she shook him.

Paul moved his head just a little as Leah shook him again. "Paul? Wake up!" Finally his eyes squinted as he tried to focus on her. His eyes were completely bloodshot, his hair stood up on end and his shirt was filthy from where he had vomited and just left it there. The smell was disgusting. "Leah?" Paul finally croaked. "Shit, another dream," he mumbled as he allowed his head to fall back down onto the table.

"No, Paul. You're not dreaming. I'm really here. Come on, wake up." Leah pulled his head up to make him look at her.

Finally there was some recognition in his eyes. "Leah? You're really here?"

Leah smiled at him as she said, "Yes, I am. And you stink."

"I thinkmight bea little drunk," Paul slurred as he belched.

"Really? I couldn't tell from all the beer cans and the bottle of Jack sitting here beside your head."

Paul started to reach for the bottle, but Leah took it and quickly emptied it into the sink. "Hey, I was drinking that," Paul protested.

"Yes, you were, but you've had enough. You're not even old enough to buy this shit. How did you get it?"

"Maria at the store," Paul shrugged. "She's always thought I was hot, so I slipped her the tongue and she sold it to me." He ended his explanation by giving her a crooked, drunken smile.

"Lovely, Paul." Leah sat down next to him and as he looked at her, his face crumpled as he said, "My grandma died, Leah. She just died. How could she do that?" Then Paul started to cry and Leah didn't even try to hide the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Paul, who was always so big and strong . . . was falling apart.

"I know, baby, and it sucks. It fucking sucks."

Paul nodded as Leah scooted over so he could lay his head on her shoulder. "You're really here," he said again.

"Yes, I am, and I'm going to stay here as long as you need me to, OK?"

"OK."

They sat there like that for a little while then Leah said, "God, Paul, you reek. Let's get you cleaned up." Standing up, Leah drug Paul up out of the chair. "Can you walk?"

"Of course I can walk," Paul insisted as he swayed back and forth.

"Uh-huh. Here, let me help you," Leah said as she slung Paul's arm over her shoulder. She walked him to the bathroom and when they got there Paul said, "I don't feel so good." Leah got him to the toilet just in time for him to puke into it.

Reaching for a wash cloth, Leah ran some cold water over it then put it on his neck and rubbed his shoulder until he finished and sat back. "You OK?" she asked him.

Shaking his head, he leaned forward to puke again. "Well, I'm really glad I made it here in time to see this," Leah muttered.

Paul finally sat back on the floor and leaned against the wall then looked at her as she handed him a cup of water. "Leah?"

"Yes, Paul. Who did you think it was? Mother Theresa?"

Smiling, he said, "Now I know it's Leah. Smart ass."

That made her laugh. "Gee, I wonder where I learned it. You done puking, yet?"

Paul nodded. "I think so."

"Good. You need a shower." Leah moved to turn the shower on then helped Paul up off of the floor. She helped him pull his disgusting shirt over his head and throw it on the floor then she unzipped his jeans and pulled them over his hips along with his boxers. "OK, in you go," Leah said as she gave Paul a gentle shove and he stepped into the shower and put his head under the water. While he showered, she picked up his dirty clothes and took them directly to the washer. Then she walked back into the bathroom and put some toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. "How you doing in there?"

"I'm alright."

Walking into the boy's room, Leah opened drawers until she found Paul's clothes. She grabbed a pair of gym shorts and walked back to the bathroom to wait for him to finish. Hearing him turn off the water, Leah picked up a towel and held it out for him. The curtain whisked back, and as Paul stood there with water droplets running down his chest, it took Leah's breath away for a second. She had been gone for 5 months and she had forgotten how sexy he was. Instantly she shoved that thought aside as she reminded herself this wasn't the time for that.

Paul accepted the towel from Leah and dried off then she handed him the gym shorts and some deodorant, followed by his toothbrush. Taking the toothbrush from her, he smiled then moved to the sink to brush his teeth. While he was doing that, she walked out to the futon and put a clean sheet onto it and threw another clean sheet at the end for him to pull up over him. She also found a couple of clean pillow cases and put those on his pillows then she carried the dirty sheets to add to the clothes in the washer. She threw in some detergent and started the machine.

Paul came shuffling out of the bathroom just as she walked back into the living room. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

He shook his head and stood in front of her. Again Leah thought how lost he looked. Taking his hand, she led him to the futon. "Why don't you lay down and get some rest? I'll clean up a little." Paul nodded and obediently laid down then Leah leaned down and kissed him softly on the forehead. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

Leah spent some time clearing out all the beer cans, and the sweeping up the pieces of the phone that were scattered all over the floor. After finding another empty whiskey bottle, Leah looked around to see if there was any other alcohol in the house, but she didn't find any. By the amount of trash she found, she was amazed he didn't have alcohol poisoning! Good thing he was a wolf, or he'd probably be dead right now. After she mopped up all the beer and wiped down the counters, suddenly, she realized she was exhausted. It was only a little after eight, but it had been a really long day.

Grabbing her bag from in front of the back door, Leah walked quietly to the bathroom to put on a tank top and some sleep shorts, figuring she would sleep in the boy's room. She brushed her teeth and turned off the light to walk out to the living room to check on Paul one more time.

As she approached the futon, Paul opened his eyes and looked at her. "Leah?"

"Yes?"

"Will you lay here with me?"

_Oh, that is so not a good idea._ But looking at him, Leah knew she couldn't resist. Smiling at him, she nodded and Paul scooted over so she could lay down next to him. Leah watched Paul warily as she waited to see if being this close was causing him pain like before from the imprint. He seemed fine so she put her arms around him and held him close.

"I don't know what to do without her. What am I going to do?"

Leah felt Paul's warm tears on her shoulder as she answered softly, "I don't know, Paul. You just keep on going, I guess. Your brothers are going to need you."

"I'm glad you're here, Leah. I really need you."

They lay there wrapped together and finally Paul slept. Leah could hear his breathing even out as she ran her fingers through his hair. She had longed for this for five long months. Now here she was and it wasn't how she wanted it, but while she had it, she closed her eyes and decided to soak it in so she could carry it back with her to Spokane. 

Paul opened his eyes, noticing it was still dark as he felt something tickle his nose. His hand came to brush it away and it was hair . . . as he inhaled, he smelled flowers and sunshine . . . _Leah's hair_. _She was really here. It wasn't a dream._ Paul smiled as he brushed the hair away from her face and was struck by how beautiful she looked. Before he could stop himself, he leaned forward and put a gentle kiss on her lips. Then he wondered if they still tasted as good as he remembered, so he kissed her again, a little longer this time.

Leah's eyes fluttered open and Paul smiled, feeling as if his heart would burst. Then she smiled back and his heart soared. Her hand came up to touch his cheek and he turned his face to kiss her palm. "Paul?" she whispered. "How is this possible? How are you . . . not in pain?"

"I don't know. I don't care." This time when their lips met, Leah responded, too. As he moved his lips over hers he thought how it had been way too long and he was too hungry for her. Leah was just as hungry and their kissing soon became wild and abandoned. Paul's hand roamed, trying to remember every inch of her body, finally settling on her breast, his thumb grazing back and forth over her nipple, bringing it to attention. His lips left hers and kissed down her neck until he reached the other nipple and he sucked it into his mouth, over the light cotton of her tank top. Leah moaned and pulled on his hair as she felt arousal move like lightning through her body. When Paul's mouth left her breast, the wet spot there still caused her an excitement that she hadn't known in five long months.

"Help me," she whispered as she tried to get her top off. Paul pulled it over her head and threw it onto the floor then went back to kissing and teasing her until she was in a frenzy. His hand slid down to settle between her legs over her shorts and he was rubbing back and forth. "Paul, I need to . . . " she panted and he knew exactly what she wanted. He slipped his hand inside her shorts and he slid his finger inside, then another. "Yes!" she cried as they slid in and out, and then his thumb found her nub and he stroked it and watched as her back came off the bed as she smiled and said, "Oh God, yes, Paul, yessss!" He could feel her pulsate and he smiled. He had missed this most of all.

Paul quickly slid her shorts off and then his own. They lay side by side kissing and touching until finally Paul couldn't take it any longer. He had to have her, to be inside her and have her completely wrapped around him. Moving on top of her, he settled between her open legs then whispered, "I need you, Leah . . . " his lips found hers as he slid inside. She was so tight and he stopped just to feel her surround him. Then he began moving, slowly at first then faster as the pressure built. Her nails dug in to his shoulder and it spurred him on faster until she screamed out and then he let go and fell over the edge right along with her, emptying into her everything he had stored in five long months.

As they lay there panting, Leah wrapped her arms around Paul tightly. She didn't want this to end. "Leah, I love you," Paul whispered into her ear. "God, I love you so much."

Leah felt tears spring to her eyes. "I love you, too, Paul," she whispered in return. Nothing else existed at this moment but the two of them. For a few hours, they had each other and they would worry about the consequences later. Paul rolled to his back and settled Leah there in the crook of his arm.

As Paul held Leah in his arms, he heard her stomach rumble loudly. Chuckling, he asked, "When was the last time you ate something?"

"Um, Mom stopped at a drive-thru after she picked me up at the bus station, around 2:30 I think? I guess I am a little hungry." It rumbled again and she said, "Mind if I raid the fridge?"

"No, go ahead."

Leah got up and Paul started to follow. "Stay here. I'll bring us something," she told him. Grinning, he did as he was told and laid down to wait for her.

Leah walked naked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There wasn't a lot to choose from so she decided to check the freezer. "Yes!" she said as she pulled out a bucket of chocolate ice cream. She grabbed a kitchen towel and wrapped around it and then pulled a spoon out of the drawer. "We're in luck. You have ice cream."

Crawling onto the futon, she settled with the ice cream bucket as Paul sat up beside her. "One spoon?" he asked.

"I'll share," she said with her mouthful. She scooped up some ice cream and put the spoon to his mouth and he smiled as she slid the spoon inside. "Since I went to college, I have developed this love for ice cream. I can't get enough of it!"

Paul laughed at that. "Why don't you weigh like 300 pounds then?"

"I've taken up running. Since I can't phase at school, I run. I started out doing a couple of miles a day, now depending on how much time I have, I might do 5 or 6."

"Impressive."

They sat there eating ice cream and Leah told him all about school. "Do you get along with your roommate?" he asked her.

"I guess. She's not there much. She likes to go to parties and she has a boyfriend, so she spends a lot of nights at his place. That's her in the picture I sent you."

Paul looked at her curiously, and she said, "The picture behind the picture?"

The Paul realized she was taking about the picture of her almost kissing another girl. "Oh yeah! Oh my God, I laughed so hard when I saw that. That was fucking awesome!" They both shared a laugh over the picture then he said, "But I have to admit, I like the other picture better. I keep it right there." He pointed to the picture on the small table at the head of the futon. "I look at it last thing at night and first thing in the morning."

Leah smiled to see it there. "I keep the picture you sent me of you and the boys beside my bed, too. You know, it was really hard for me not to call you. But, I just didn't think I could handle it. And I have to say, I loved your letters. It was so exciting to find one in the mail. And I could hear you talking to me through your words. I would laugh and think that's just how you would say something."

"I know, me, too. When you told me you were a cafeteria lady and that yes, you wore a hairnet, I lost it. Especially when you said the look worked for you and your girlfriend liked it."

"I think we should keep writing letters," Leah said with a smile. "It'll be fun."

Paul looked away and nodded but didn't want to think right now about her going back.

They had reached the bottom of the bucket and Leah held out the spoon. "Who should get the last bite?" Paul smiled as he reached out and grabbed her hand and forced the spoon to his mouth and Leah moved at the last second and the ice cream went all over his mouth. Leah laughed hysterically as Paul gave her a look. She dropped the spoon into the bucket and when Paul moved to wipe his mouth, Leah stopped him.

Paul watched as she climbed onto his lap to straddle him and then leaned in to lick the ice cream off of his face. It was so erotic, he felt himself growing harder the more ice cream she licked off. Leah sat back and looked into his eyes and then licked her own lips. "You are killing me right now, baby."

"Yeah? I can tell," Leah purred as she wiggled her ass against his growing erection and then she smiled. She was teasing him and he loved every minute of it. Leaning in, Leah kissed Paul on the lips and slowly licked his bottom lip then sucked it into her mouth. His hands found her breasts and he was slowly rolling his thumb around each tip and then he pinched them just a little and she jumped.

Leah pulled back and looked at Paul as he smiled then leaned forward to suck a nipple into his mouth. He rolled his tongue, still cold from the ice cream, around it and teased her and then sucked on it. He could feel her wetness seep onto him as she started to move her hips. He grabbed her ass and lifted her up then let her slide down over him. She gasped as he filled her and then she moaned as it felt so good.

Leah moved up and down while Paul continued to play with her breasts and it didn't take her long to find her release. He felt her contract around him and then she collapsed onto his shoulder. Turning his head, Paul kissed her neck as he threaded his hands into her silky hair.

Paul let her catch her breath and then he gently pressed her back onto the bed and recaptured her lips. His lips moved over hers softly, gently, tasting her. Finally pushing himself inside her, he took his time just enjoying the feeling and the movement. When he came it wasn't in a frenzy as before, but just a little more satisfying. After a few minutes, he rolled to the side and brought her with him and held her close.

"That was awesome," Paul breathed into Leah's ear.

"Mmm, yes it was."

"God, I missed you. And I missed this . . . a lot," Paul admitted with a grin.

Leah looked over at him and smiled. "Me, too." Then she leaned in and kissed Paul softly and snuggled into his arms. Nights were usually way too long for both of them, but this one, they knew would end way too soon.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

BABY'S IN BLACK

Leah woke up and looked at the clock. She had set the alarm just in case she overslept, but it was only eight now. Jared had told her he would be here at ten to bring Paul some clothes for the service. She turned the alarm off so it wouldn't wake Paul and then she rolled back over to look at him.

He looked so peaceful; she hated to wake him. She knew this would be the hardest day of his life. Her father's funeral had been just a little over a year ago and it had been a horrible day for her.

Kissing Paul softly on the forehead, Leah turned to get out of bed when his arm tightened around her. She turned back to see him looking at her. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," Paul mumbled as he drew her back to kiss her softly on the lips. "Where are you going?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm going to shower and give you a little more time to sleep."

Closing his eyes, Paul grunted, "OK," and turned over as Leah climbed out of bed.

Leah made her way to the bathroom where she quickly showered, dressed and brushed her teeth then she walked into the kitchen to start some coffee. Remembering that she had put some laundry in the washer last night, she walked over to throw it in the dryer then she turned back to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

There wasn't much food in the house, but she found some pancake mix and syrup, so she got out a bowl and was stirring up the batter when she felt Paul come up behind her to wind his arms around her waist and put his lips on her neck. Leaning back, Leah closed her eyes to thoroughly enjoy the sensation.

"I am so glad you are here," Paul said softly near her ear.

"Me, too," she answered as she opened her eyes and moved forward to start stirring the batter again. Paul stepped away to take a cup from the cupboard and pour some coffee into it then he leaned against the counter and took a sip while he watched her pour the batter onto the griddle.

"Jared will be here at ten. I guess his mom found some clothes for you to wear today," Leah told him.

Nodding, Paul pulled out a chair and sat down at the table while she flipped the pancakes. "What about the boys?" Paul asked. "Where are they?"

"Um, Sam and Emily have them. Jared told me that Sam had to physically pick them up kicking and screaming to get them into the car. They didn't want to leave you."

"Yeah, I know. I'm glad he did thought. They didn't need to see me . . . like I was. I'm sorry you had to."

Leah set a stack of pancakes in front of him. "Eat," she commanded. "And I understand. I know this isn't easy for you. She was everything to you."

Paul nodded sadly and poured some syrup on his pancakes.

Getting a plate for herself, Leah sat down to eat with him. After a few bites, she said, "Paul? I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I have to know." He looked up at her as she asked, "Where's Rachel? Why isn't she here with you?"

Paul sighed and put down his fork. "I just didn't want anyone here."

"But she's your imprint. It's been over five months now. I thought you'd be joined at the hip just like the others. Why aren't you?"

Paul got up and poured himself more coffee and then looked out the kitchen window before answering, "Because I can't do it, Leah." After a moment, he turned back to face her. "I've been trying, I really have. About a month or so after you left, I told Rachel about us. I even phased in front of her. Then I explained how I imprinted on her at the bonfire. She was freaked out, to say the least. I told her to talk to her dad, and she did and then I didn't hear from her for a couple of days. She finally came to me and told me she wanted to try, so we have been, but, it's just so strange. We became friends, but, as hard as I try, I just can't let you go."

Paul sat back down at the table and took Leah's hand. "Jared keeps telling me over and over that I will never be happy if I don't just let you go and give into the imprint. But I decided that I would rather be miserable the rest of my life if that was the only way I could hold onto you. In fact, my grandma was the only one who told me not to give up on you. She said, 'The heart wants what the heart wants.' And she said I should wait and see if there was some way we could be together. My grandma was the smartest person I ever knew, Leah, so I figured if she said I shouldn't give up on you, then I shouldn't give up. And I think last night proves it."

By this time, tears were streaming down Leah's cheeks. Taking her face in his hands, Paul kissed her then rested his forehead against hers. Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Jared must be early," Leah observed. "I'll get it."

Leaving the table, Leah walked to the door and unlocked it and opened it to Jared. "Leah! Oh my God, it's so good to see you!" he shouted as he picked her up and twirled her around.

"Wow, that's quite a welcome," Leah said as he put her down.

"Thanks for coming," he said quietly.

She nodded and turned to Kim. "Hi, Leah." They hugged and as Kim pulled back, Leah noticed the ring on her finger. Reaching out, Leah grabbed Kim's hand and she yelled, "Jared! What the hell is this on Kim's finger?"

Kim laughed as Jared said, "It's an engagement ring, you ass. What did you think it was?"

"You're in high school! You can't get married now."

Jared rolled his eyes at her. "I know that. We are going to graduate in May then I'm going to work for my dad. Once we save enough money to get our own place, we'll get married. I just wanted to put a ring on her finger to let everyone know she's mine," Jared explained as he put his arm around Kim.

"Well, I think having your lips on her all the time does the same thing," Leah shot back. Kim laughed at that as Jared kissed her. "But, congratulations. I am happy for you," Leah added with a smile.

Paul walked out of the kitchen and Jared went to him. "Well you at least smell better than the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, Leah's mean. She cleaned me up and threw away my booze."

"Good for her," Kim said.

"Here's your clothes, bro. I hope everything fits." Jared handed the suit of clothes and a pair of shoes to Paul as he nodded.

"I'll go shower and shave then I'll put them on," Paul told him as he moved toward the bathroom. Stopping, he turned back and asked Jared, "Do either of you have a phone?"

Kim spoke up. "I have my cell phone."

"Can you call Sam and have him bring the boys over? I think we should all go together."

"Sure," Kim smiled. "I'll call right now." Taking her phone from her purse, she dialed as she walked into the kitchen.

Paul nodded and walked to the bathroom and closed the door.

"How's he doing?" Jared asked Leah.

"As best as can be expected, I guess. I couldn't believe what I saw last night when I got here. He was so lost. I expected anger and ranting and raving, but . . . not that. He was a stinking, drunk mess. It was hard seeing him like that."

"Be glad you missed the anger. I was here for that. When he ripped that phone out of the wall and threw it, it missed my head by like 6 inches. Scared the shit out of me."

"This will be the hardest day of his life, Jared. He's going to need all of us."

"I know," Jared muttered as he put his arm around Leah's shoulder and pulled her close for a moment.

Kim walked in and shared that Sam would bring the boys over as soon as Emily was done fussing over Travis.

Leah smiled at that then announced, "Well, I need to run home and get dressed. I really hate to leave, but I . . . "

"Just tell me what you need and I'll go get it for you," Kim offered.

"Really? I mean I could call Seth and tell him to bring it over . . . "

"You're going to trust a boy to bring you everything you need?"

"Yeah, right," Leah laughed. "Not a good idea. OK, thanks. Here, let me make a list." She grabbed a pad of paper from the table and said as she wrote, "I only have one black dress, and it's hanging in my closet. I need my black shoes, also in the closet and I have a black head band that should be on the dresser. And then, I'll have Mom get my coat out of the closet for you. I think I have everything else I need here." She ripped off the paper and handed it to Kim. "Can I borrow your phone to call Mom and tell her you're coming?"

"Sure. Keep it here with you guys in case you need to make any other calls. I'll get it from you when I get back." Turning to Jared, Kim kissed him then said, "Be right back."

Leah smiled at Jared as the door closed behind Kim. "I guess she's OK. You can marry her."

Jared laughed as he hugged Leah and admitted, "It really is good to have you here again. I kind of missed you." He let her go and she rolled her eyes at him as she opened the phone to make the call to her mom. 

Paul got out of the shower, brushed his teeth and then he just stood there looking in the mirror wondering how in the hell he was going to get through this day. As he ran the electric razor over his face, he thought about how overjoyed he was that Leah was here and he was amazed that he had been able to spend the night making love to her. _Was the imprint gone?_ Not all the way, because Rachel had popped into his head on more than one occasion last night, but at least there was no physical pain like before. He had no idea what was going on, but he wasn't going to question it.

Paul put on clean underwear and now he opened the door to walk across the hall and get dressed. He had laid the suit on the boy's bed and as he picked up the black pants, he wondered where Carol had gotten it. He slipped into the pants, put on the white shirt, tucked it in then he weaved the black belt into the loops and sat down to put on the black socks and shoes. As he reached for the black and gray striped tie, he realized he had absolutely no idea how to tie it, having never worn one before.

Paul walked out into the living room and announced, "I have no idea how to tie this damn thing."

Leah smiled as she stood up and walked over to him to say, "Well, you're in luck." As she wrapped the tie around his neck, under his collar she told him, "When I was in 7th grade, my best friend, Emma, and I decided it would look so cool to go with an 80's retro look and wear a tie to school every day. So, we went to the Goodwill store and spent like two bucks on four or five ties, and spent a whole day trying to figure out how to tie them." Leah tied it perfectly and pulled his collar back down over it. "It only lasted a couple of weeks until we decided we looked like morons. But at least I know how to tie a tie."

Paul laughed at her story then kissed her on the lips. "Thanks."

"Sure. Man, you look hot. Sexy business man, all in black . . . I think I like it." She wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"Oh yeah? You like this, huh? Cause this collar is killing me already," Paul whined as he stuck his finger into the collar and pulled at it.

"Oh stop it. You look nice. Deal with it," Leah scolded.

Jared just watched them in amazement . . . they looked and sounded like an old married couple. _Maybe Paul was right. Maybe for some reason the imprint was wrong and Leah was the one for him._

"I hate to ask, but, did anyone try and get in touch with your mother?" Leah asked warily.

Paul's face grew angry as he spit out, "I don't want her here. She doesn't deserve to be here."

Leah quickly said, "I know that, Paul, and I understand. But, Ruth is her mother. She has a right to know."

"She would just sweep in and see what should get her hands on to sell for money then run straight for her dealer. Besides, this time of year she usually hides out in LA. She hates the cold."

Just then, the door burst open and Travis came running in. "Paul!" he shouted as he made a beeline for his big brother.

Paul immediately squatted down and held his arms out and Travis ran right into them. "Hey, buddy. I missed you," he said softly.

"I really missed you," Travis said as he hugged Paul as tight as he could.

Leah was standing behind Paul so Travis didn't see her right away. As soon as he spotted her, he let go of Paul and squealed, "Leah!" as he ran to her. She bent down and scooped Travis up into her arms and held him close to breathe in his little boy smell. She had missed him so much. He squeezed her around the neck so tightly she could hardly breathe. Leah finally got him to loosen his hold and Travis pulled back to look at her as he said, "I love the book you sent me that talks! I listen to it every night before I go to sleep."

"You do? Good, I'm glad." Leah kissed him on the cheek and let him go then looked to see Paul hugging Tyler. Ty was crying and trying to hide it.

Sam stepped over to say, "Hey, Leah. It's good to see you."

"Thanks, Sam." Leah had gotten over her feelings for Sam some time ago, but it was still awkward between them. Emily had come in and taken some food to the kitchen. Now she stood beside Sam as Leah said, "Um, thanks for taking care of the boys. That was really nice of you guys."

Emily smiled. "We were happy to help. They're good boys."

Leah nodded and moved to Paul's side. "Hey, Tyler, " she said.

Tyler looked up at her and quickly wiped his eyes. Leah smiled as she put her arm around his shoulder then leaned in to whisper, "It's OK to cry today. When my dad died, my brother cried a lot and he was 15. This is going to be a hard day, but we'll be here for you."

Tyler looked up at her and nodded, then he hugged her quickly and left to go to his room. Paul sighed and put his arm around Leah just as Kim came in with Leah's things. Leah took them from her and thanked her then went to the bathroom to change.

As Leah dressed, she remembered the last time she put on this dress for her dad's funeral. That had been such a long day . . . everyone on the reservation loved Harry Clearwater, so there were lots of people coming in and shaking her hand . . . saying they were sorry. It was the worst day of her life. Today would be like that for Paul, Tyler and Travis.

Leah looked in the mirror and added a little eye shadow and mascara then some blush and a little lip gloss. She brushed her hair and put in the headband and then slipped on her shoes and decided she was as ready as one could be for something like this.

Opening the door, Leah found Travis waiting on her. "What's up, little man?"

Looking up at her, Travis stated very solemnly, "My grandma's dead." Leah felt her heart break as she gazed into those little brown eyes full of tears.

Leah kneeled down in front of him to say, "I know. It's really sad, isn't it?"

Travis nodded. "She was really nice and she had a soft lap and she made really good cookies."

Leah smiled, "Yes she did."

"Leah? Where is she now?"

"Well, our people believe that when you die, you go to meet the ancestors . . . those people that died before you. So, your grandma is now with your grandpa, who died a long time ago. I'm sure that makes her really happy because she really missed him."

Travis nodded, although Leah wasn't sure he really understood what she was trying to tell him. "Ready to go?" Again, his little head bobbed, so she stood up and took his hand then they walked out to join the others.

Paul had slipped on his suit jacket and even through it was a little tight through the shoulders, he still looked really nice. Jared and Sam were both wearing dress pants and button up shirts, but no tie or jacket. Emily had dressed the boys nicely, with Tyler dressed like Sam, but Travis had on a plain navy blue sweater and khaki pants.

"Guys, come here," Paul said to Travis and Tyler. Putting his hands on their shoulders, he said, "Today is going to be really hard for me. I loved Grandma a lot. She raised me since I was 5, and . . . I'm not sure how to live here without her. I might cry today, and I don't want that to upset you. And it's OK if you feel like crying, too. But I want you both to know that I love you, and we'll find a way to go one living here without her, OK? I _will_ take of you. We're brothers and we have to stick together." Travis and Tyler both nodded solemnly then Paul hugged them both close as Leah wiped her eyes and marveled at how mature Paul was in handling them.

"OK, let's go," Paul finally said to them and they turned and all walked to the door. Jared and Kim walked out first, then the boys and Sam and Emily. Paul held out Leah's coat and said, "I hate to say it, but you look really beautiful in that black dress."

Leah smiled as she slipped her arms into the sleeves. "Thank you. You look very nice, too."

Paul put his hands on her shoulders. "I will really need you today, Leah."

"I know. That's why I'm here."

Paul pulled Leah close for a moment then kissed her gently on the lips before he let her go. They walked outside and he closed the door behind them.

Paul told the boys to get into his car because he wanted them all to go together. After they were settled in the back, Paul held the door for Leah as she climbed in and then he shut it and walked around to get inside. With a long sigh, Paul rested his forehead on the steering wheel for a few seconds trying to find the strength to actually turn the key and drive to the funeral home.

Seeing him struggle, Leah reached out and laid her hand gently on his thigh just to remind him that she was here for him. That was all he needed to keep going - her touch. Paul looked over at her and gifted her with a small smile of thanks, then he started the car and drove them to the funeral home to say good bye to the only other woman he had ever loved. 

As Paul stood near the casket, shaking hands and listening to everyone tell them how sorry they were he felt so numb, as he thanked people and listed to their comments and stories about his grandma. Ruth had been very well liked and had a lot of friends. The boys stood with him, very quietly, shaking hands as Leah stayed close by for comfort.

Everything went along like that until Rachel walked in. When she spotted Leah standing beside Paul, her eyes narrowed into slits. "What's _she_ doing here?" she whispered to Jacob. "I thought she went away to school."

"She did. But she's a member of the pack, sis. We stick together."

_Stick is the right word. She's stuck like glue to Paul_, Rachel thought. _Could she get any closer? _Rachel was surprised at the jealousy that ripped through her just now. When Rachel had gone to Paul's the day his grandmother died and he told her to "Get the hell out and leave me the fuck alone!" Rachel had given up. If he didn't want her there at the darkest time in his life then there was no more reason to stay here and fight Leah's ghost. She had made up her mind to go to Seattle and move on with her life.

But now, this jealousy that poured through her veins was trying to change her mind. Rachel walked beside Jacob as he pushed Billy's wheelchair and when they got to Paul, Jacob gave him a bro hug and said, "This sucks, man. I'm really sorry."

"Thanks, Jake. I appreciate it."

Then Jacob smiled at Leah. "Hey, Leah. You look good." As he pulled her in for a big hug, he said warmly, "Long time, no see."

"I know. How are you?" Leah asked, surprised that she genuinely cared how he was doing.

"Eh, OK, I guess. Rachel made me go back to school to finish my senior year."

"Good for her. Now we need to get this one to take his GED," Leah said as she looked at Paul.

"Yeah, I promised Grandma. I guess I better look into that," Paul said softly.

Rachel pushed past her brother to wrap her arms around Paul. "Paul, baby, I'm so sorry. I've been worried sick about you. I wish you would have let me come over and help you."

"I'm OK, Rachel." Paul tried gently to pull away, but suddenly Rachel had a death grip on him for some reason. Finally she pulled back, and kissed him hard on the lips then she grabbed his hand and wouldn't let it go.

Billy shook Paul's hand and said a few words then wheeled off to talk to Sue and Jacob followed. Leah could see Rachel shooting daggers at her, so she said to Paul, "I want to talk to Seth. I haven't seen him yet." Paul gave her an anxious look that said, _"Don't leave me,"_ so she patted his arm and said, "I'll be back."

Leah walked away and heard Rachel fussing over how the boys were dressed, smiling as she knew they'd hate that. Seth was standing near their mom, who was now talking to Billy, as Leah walked over and hugged him. "Hey, little brother. It's good to see you."

"Yeah, you, too. So you sleep with Paul last night?"

Leah pulled back, shocked that he would ask that here of all places. "Why the hell would you ask me that, here, at Ruth's funeral?"

Seth hung his head and mumbled, "Sorry, I don't know. I just saw you standing with him, and . . . I could see it, I guess. You know he's still imprinted on Rachel. I just don't want to see you get hurt over and over."

Leah smiled at his admission. "Look, I get that. I like that you care. Let's just don't talk about it right now, OK?"

Seth nodded and Leah took a second to look back at Paul. Rachel was still clinging to his side and Leah wondered why she felt so threatened. _Does Rachel know how much Paul still loves me? _Leah sighed and turned back to Seth. "So, any good pack gossip?"

Seth just smiled and they sat down in a couple of available chairs and he talked about school, girls, the pack, anything to help take her mind off things. They both hated being here as this was the same place they had their dad's funeral. It took every bit of strength Seth could muster just to walk into the place.

Finally the pastor from Ruth's church had everyone take their seats so he could begin the service. Paul and his brothers sat together up front, and Travis insisted that Leah sit on the end beside him, so she did. Rachel sat in the second row behind Paul with Jake and Billy. As the service went on, Leah kept glancing over at Paul. He held himself very rigid and stared straight ahead, trying not to show the emotion that was churning inside. Tyler followed his brother's lead and did the same, but Travis had a hard time sitting still and finally got off of his chair to climb onto Leah's lap. As he leaned his head onto her shoulder, she held him close and whispered, "It'll be over soon." She dropped a kiss on top of his head and tried to ignore Rachel's glare as she held him close.

When the service was over, Paul stood and shook the pastor's hand and thanked him for his kind words. Tyler again mimicked his brother and did the same. Paul then asked Tyler and Travis to walk up to the casket with him and as the three of them stood there together he said, "It's time to say good bye, guys." Turning, Paul motioned to Leah to step up to the casket, too, and he took her hand and squeezed it as he said, "Grandma, I will miss you every day for the rest of my life. Thank you so much for taking me in and making me your son, cause . . . I don't know where I would be now without you. I will try every day to be the man you wanted me to be." Tears slid from his eyes and rolled down his cheek, his voice breaking as he added softly, "I will always love you."

Tyler cleared his throat and said in a soft voice, "Thank you, Grandma, for letting me and Travis come and live with you. I'm sorry I was so awful when I first got there and treated you bad. You didn't deserve it. I never told you . . . " Tyler started to break down, "I never told you out loud, but . . . " he was having a hard time getting it out so Paul put his hand on his shoulder to encourage him. "I love you, Grandma." Then Tyler broke down and Paul hugged him to his side and let him cry.

Travis just stared at Tyler, watching him cry. Leah bent over and picked him up to ask, "Do you want to say good bye, Trav?"

Travis just shook his head. "I don't want her to go," he said as his little face crumpled and he started to cry. Leah held him tight and let her tears spill out. "I know, honey," she said, trying hard to comfort him. "None of us do, but it will be OK."

They all stood there for a few minutes letting their grief pour out then Paul turned and led Tyler out the door at the side and Leah followed with Travis. Everyone got into their cars and followed the hearse to the cemetery. The pastor said a few words there then invited everyone back to Sam and Emily's for a dinner.

As the crowd dispersed, Paul stood alone at the casket as Sam and Emily had talked the boys into riding back to the house with them. Rachel quietly walked up to him and said, "Paul, I'll drive you to the house. Come on." She took his arm and tried to pull him gently away.

Never taking his eyes from the casket he told her quietly, "No, I have my car and I'll drive myself. Thanks, though."

"Paul? Why are you shutting me out? I want to help you. I should be beside you today, not _her," _Rachel whined.

Paul finally tore his eyes away from the casket to look at her angrily. "Do you really want to stand here in front of my grandmother's coffin and make this about you?"

Rachel stepped back in shock and felt like she had just gotten a slap. "I'm so . . . I'm sorry, Paul. I'm not sure why I'm feeling so jealous. I'm sorry." And with that, she turned and hurried away to catch up to Jacob and her dad as the tears rolled down her face.

Paul hung his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he put his hand on the casket and said, "What am I going to do about her, Grandma?"

Everyone was gone, and Paul finally leaned down and kissed the casket. "Good bye, Grandma. I will really miss you." Wiping his eyes, Paul turned to leave and then he saw her, and his heart skipped a beat. There was Leah, patiently waiting for him, was leaning against his car.

Paul smiled at her then he turned back to the casket to say quietly, "I don't know how, but I know you had something to do with this, Grandma. Thank you."

Then Paul turned away from the casket and walked quickly into Leah's waiting arms.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

SHE LOVES YOU

Paul had shed his jacket and tie in the car and now as he stood on Sam and Emily's back porch, drinking a stolen a beer from the fridge, he felt this day would never end. Not meaning to hide, he just needed a break from everyone inside. Paul knew they all cared about him, but he was starting to feel smothered by them.

Just then, he heard from behind him, "Hey, P."

Paul turned his head to smile at Jared. "Hey, J."

"I don't suppose you have another one of those?" Jared asked.

"Nope. And I'm only drinking one today. I learned my lesson the other night." He held the bottle out to Jared, who took a swig then handed it back.

"Good. You're an ugly drunk," Jared told him with a grin.

"Sorry about that," Paul said sheepishly. "And for heaving the phone across the room. You know I wasn't aiming for you, right?"

"I hope not. But man, you scared the shit out of me!"

Paul took a long, slow pull on his beer and looked out to the woods. "I just . . . I couldn't stand one more person calling me and telling me how fucking sorry they were. I know they meant well, but it was really pissing me off." Looking back at Jared, Paul added with a soft smile, "But, thanks for calling Leah. I don't think I would have made it through last night without her."

"I didn't know what else to do. You had me freaked out, dude. I'd never seen you like that. When you locked me out, and you wouldn't talk to Rachel, I just knew that Leah would be the only one that could get through to you." Jared took Paul's beer out of his hand and sat down on the back porch step to take a drink.

Paul looked around to see if anyone else was listening then he sat down next to Jared to tell him quietly, "We slept together last night." Jared just looked at him. "We had sex. More than once."

Jared eyes grew big. "No fucking way! How . . . well, I know how, but with the imprint . . . I thought that being with her caused you pain."

"Yeah, I know. But, last night, it was like it used to be between us. It was . . . it was what I want for the rest of my life."

"Do you think it's possible?"

Paul sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. Rachel was fucking nuts today. She was all over me and wanting to know why I didn't want her there and why I wouldn't let her help me, asking me why I let Leah be with me instead of her. At my grandmother's funeral! I couldn't believe how she was acting. Then I kind of bit her head off, and now she's sitting in there looking all sad and hurt."

"Are you saying the imprint is broken?"

Paul shrugged. "I don't know. I'm so fucked up, you know? I just don't want to think about it right now. Leah is only going to be here until Sunday. That means I have just 2 days with her then she'll be gone again. I want to spend as much time with her as I can. I guess I'll just deal with Rachel later." 

While Jared and Paul were on the back porch talking, Leah stepped out onto the front porch to get some air. She stood quietly looking out at the woods, painted in white and then heard, "What are doing here, Leah? What kind of game are you playing?"

Leah turned to see Rachel standing there, her arms crossed in front of her. "What are you talking about?" Leah asked.

"You left. You did the right thing and you left here when Paul imprinted. You told him not to fight it and you let him go." Rachel uncrossed her arms and took a few steps toward Leah, her heels clicking on the wooden porch floor. "But you didn't really, did you? You wrote letters and you sent gifts to the boys, then that picture you sent to Paul for Christmas? How is he supposed to forget you and accept this imprint if you're always there! Give me a fucking break, Leah."

Leah shook her head in disbelief. "Are you serious? You think I'm playing a game here? Why would I do that?"

Rachel held her gaze. "I don't know. You tell me. Maybe because you couldn't have Sam so you're determined to keep Paul no matter what kind of pain you cause everyone? He imprinted on ME, not you. I'm sorry this happened to you again, but, he's miserable, Leah. He keeps waiting because he thinks somehow this will go away, but it won't. We both know that. And because he's miserable, it's making me miserable. You can't be happy either just holding onto a little piece of him. Please, Leah, please let him go. For all of us."

Leah turned away from her as she had no idea what to say to that. She knew Rachel was right, but . . . in her heart, she was glad that Paul was fighting for her.

"Just think about it," Rachel told her. "If you push him away, maybe he will let you go and we can all be happy."

Leah heard Rachel walk across the porch and go back inside then she looked up at the sky and wrapped her arms around herself and thought about what Rachel said. _Is he really that miserable? Am I doing that to him by staying in contact with him? Writing to him? Sending gifts? I am being selfish . . . _

"Hey." Paul walked up behind Leah and put his arms around her waist. "Will you come and stay with me again tonight?" he asked softly into her ear.

Letting her eyes flutter shut, Leah wanted to say yes immediately, but Rachel's voice was still ringing in her ears.

Not getting a reply, Paul turned Leah to face him. "Leah? Are you alright?"

Leah opened her eyes to look at him as she asked, "Are you miserable, Paul? I mean, I know right now, things are tough, but before. I left here and hoped that with the imprint you could give in and be happy with Rachel, but . . ."

Paul interrupted, "Leah, why are asking me this?"

"Because I need to know. I shouldn't have written you those letters or sent you that picture. I should have let you go completely . . . "

Paul took her by the shoulders. "It's Rachel, isn't it? Did she say something to you?"

Leah sighed and turned away from him. "It's not fair to her, Paul. I came back here and she feels threatened. I would feel the same way . . . if you were mine."

Paul took her arm and turned her back to face him. "I'm already yours, Leah. I have been for a long time now. I want to be with you, I think you know that. You know I've never stopped loving you. I don't know how."

Paul was pleading with Leah with his eyes. As she gazed into them, she realized this was _her_ Paul . . . her best friend. _Rachel be damned._ She knew she only had 2 days with him then she had to go back to school and she had no idea when she would see him again. "Yes. I'll stay with you."

Smiling, Paul leaned forward and put a soft kiss on her lips. Leah squinted and looked Paul in the eye as she stated, "You taste like beer, young man. Have you been drinking?"

Paul gave her a sheepish look and answered. "Yes, Jared and I shared one. JUST one. I promise."

Leah smiled and shook here head slowly. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I can think of a couple of things," Paul replied as he pulled her close and kissed her neck just below her ear, sending a shiver up her spine. A couple of those things popped into her mind, too. Paul pulled back and said quietly, "I'll be right back."

Leah sighed and watched him go inside and then turned around to look out at the woods again. She knew this was wrong. She should push him away and let him have a real chance with Rachel. But then she turned and watched him walk back out onto the porch with the boys and her heart melted as Paul held out his hand and said, "Let's go home." Leah smiled as she closed the gap between them and took his hand. Nothing had ever sounded so good. 

"Leah? Can you read me my old Thomas book tonight and do all the voices like you used to?" Travis was in his Thomas costume, standing in front of her pleading with his big brown eyes.

"Of course I can. Why don't you tell Paul good night, and after we finish the book, I'll tuck you in."

Travis nodded and ran to Paul. "Good night, Paul." He gave him a big hug and then ran to his room.

Paul smiled and said to Leah, "Will you tuck me in, too?"

With a wink, she answered, "Later, baby," then she walked into the boy's bedroom.

Paul grinned and felt a wave of lust go through him just at the thought of it then he turned and walked to the kitchen to get something to drink. "Hey, Ty. Finishing some homework?" Tyler was sitting at the table with books spread out all around him.

"Yeah. I don't want to get too far behind by missing a couple of days."

Paul took out a can of Pepsi and popped the top then took a long drink as he watched Tyler. Sure was different than last school year when he had to bark at him all the time to do homework. He started to walk away when Tyler asked, "Is Leah staying here tonight?"

Paul stopped and turned back to answer him. "Yeah. You OK with that?"

Tyler shrugged. "I guess. I like Leah. But Rachel doesn't."

"Why would you say that?" Paul asked as he sat down at the table.

"Like you couldn't tell? She was all over you today and every time she looked at Leah, it looked like she wanted to kill her. She's really jealous of her."

Paul sighed. If even his kid brother could see it, he had to admit it was true. "Yeah, I know. I just don't know what to do about it."

"Just dump her. We all know you love Leah. You're always so happy around her and you're miserable when she's gone. Duh, dipshit."

Paul laughed at that. "Look at you, an expert in love."

"Whatever. I don't get why you started going out with Rachel in the first place."

Paul sighed then said, "Remember when you found out what I am? You know, that I can turn into a wolf?" Tyler nodded. "Well, as a wolf, we do something called imprinting." Paul spent a few minutes explaining imprinting, using Sam and Emily as an example. "I imprinted on Rachel. And it's supposed to be forever, like Sam and Em. But, I have been fighting it as hard as I can because of how I feel about Leah."

"Oh. Well, if you love Leah, why didn't you imprint on her?"

"That's exactly the question I asked Billy. Um, I never told you, but Leah is one, too. A wolf."

Ty's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"Yeah. She freaked everyone out the first time she phased because there has never been a girl wolf before. And for some reason, another wolf hasn't imprinted on her even though there have been two of us that have loved her."

Paul saw Tyler's eyebrows furrow as he thought about that. "Two? Who was the other guy?"

"Sam. They went together in high school, and one day, Leah introduced him to her cousin, Emily, and that was it. He imprinted on Emily. This was before Leah was a wolf."

"Man, poor Leah. I guess that's why she acts weird around them."

"Yeah. So, do you see my problem here? I am forced to have these feelings for Rachel and spend the rest of my life with her, when all I want to do is be with Leah."

"Yeah. Sucks to be you."

Paul had to smile at that. "Yeah, it does. Anyway, while Leah is here, I plan on spending as much time as possible with her then when she leaves on Sunday to go back to school, I guess I will deal with Rachel. That's the best I can do right now."

Tyler nodded. "I think I'll just go back to worrying about passing my math test."

"Good idea." Paul got up and took his Pepsi into the living room to wait for Leah.

He didn't wait long. Paul was lounging on the futon flicking channels when Leah walked out a few minutes later and smiled as she sunk down beside him. Paul looked over and kissed her. "I missed you," he said softly.

She just smiled and asked, "What are you watching?"

"Nothing. Just mindlessly flicking."

Leah settled next to Paul and laid her head on his shoulder to watch him flick. He finally landed on some old movie and they just stared at the screen. Both of them were tired from the day, and Paul was emotionally exhausted. It had been hard to walk back into the house and not find his grandma here, sitting in her chair working on the knitting that still sat on the floor.

"Leah? I need to go through Grandma's stuff. Carol asked me today if she had any insurance or a will and, I have no idea. Will you help me look tomorrow?"

"Sure, I will."

"Thanks. I don't really think I can go into . . . into her room. Not yet."

Leah took his hand and squeezed it. "It's OK. I remember when Dad died, Mom left everything of his just the way it was for awhile. I would walk in the back door and see his coat hanging there, and his boots on the floor and . . . it was so hard because I would wait to hear his voice asking me 'Where you been, girly-girl?' I guess to Mom it was a comfort to see those things, but for me . . . well, it just hurt too much."

Just then, Tyler walked into the room to announce he was going to bed. "What time do you usually get up in the morning for school?" Leah asked him.

"Seven. I get up first and shower then I wake Travis up."

"OK. See you in the morning."

"Night, Ty," Paul said.

"Night." Tyler walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

Leah picked up the alarm clock and set it for seven. "I've gotten them up before and taken them to school you know. I'm not completely clueless," Paul told her.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Leah tossed back with a sly smile. Paul just rolled his eyes at her. "Look, while I'm here, I want to take care of you guys, OK? I only have 2 days then I have to leave so just shut up and let me do it."

"Oooh, I love when you get bossy," Paul said as he pushed her back against the pillows.

"Yeah? Then shut up and kiss me."

Paul grinned. "I thought you'd never ask." 

They spent another night making love, only quietly this time so as not to wake the boys, and Paul wished he could stop time. It amazed him how this was the worst time in his life and the best time all at the same time. He missed his grandmother so much it made his chest ache to think about her. And then Leah would make him feel so loved and so happy . . . it made no sense at all. But he never wanted it to end.

Leah loved feeling Paul's strong arms around her once again . . . she reveled in feeling his love surround her as he made her body sing. She tried hard to memorize each touch from his hands, his lips, his tongue . . .

Much too soon, the alarm went off at seven and Paul pulled a pillow over his head as he groaned. Smiling at him, Leah turned it off and slipped on her pajama pants and t-shirt before walking to the boy's bedroom to open the door. "Ty? It's time to get up."

"OK," Leah heard him mumble as she left the door open and turned the bathroom light on for him then she walked to the kitchen to start some coffee. Then, realizing she wasn't sure what the boys ate for breakfast, Leah walked back over to the futon to kneel down and shake Paul. "Paul? Hey! What do the boys eat for breakfast?"

Surprising her, Paul reached out and pulled Leah down on top of him and growled, "I know what I want for breakfast."

Leah laughed as he kissed her and grabbed her ass then she pulled away to say, "Yeah, I think I could have figured that one out. The boys?"

"Usually cereal. Jared will be here to pick them around 7:40."

"OK." Then Leah kissed Paul again, a little longer than she had planned, and finally got up to go back to the kitchen just as she heard the bathroom door open and then Tyler talking to Travis to get him to wake up.

Leah put some bowls and spoons on the table and boxes of cereal then poured herself a cup of coffee. Pretty soon, Tyler made his way out to the kitchen where he sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal and added milk. "Want some juice, Ty?" Leah asked.

"Yeah, orange juice. Trav likes apple juice," he answered.

"Does Travis need any help getting dressed?"

"No. He's good."

Leah poured the juice then drank some coffee until Travis finally came dragging into the kitchen and climbed onto his chair then just sat there. "Hey, Travis. You want some cereal?" Leah asked him.

Travis just shook his head. "I poured you some apple juice," Leah said as she pushed the cup closer to him.

Tyler looked over at him. "What's the matter with you?"

"It's Friday."

"Yeah? So?"

"You know Grandma always makes little pancakes on Friday to celebrate the end of the week," Travis said sadly.

Tyler looked at Leah. "Sorry. I forgot what day it was."

Looking at Travis, Leah said, "I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't know. Will you forgive me if I promise to make them tomorrow morning?"

Travis waited for a moment then finally nodded his head and picked up his cup to drink some juice. "Can I have some chocolate puffs?"

Leah smiled and poured some in a bowl for him. "Milk or no milk?"

"No milk," he answered as he picked one up with his fingers and ate it.

Leah smiled at Tyler. _Crisis averted. _

It got to be 7:30 and Leah sent them into the bathroom to brush their teeth and gather up anything they needed to take to school. They came back with their book bags and then Tyler asked, "Um, what about our lunches?"

"Oh no, you take your lunch to school?" Tyler nodded and Leah sighed. "I didn't know. Well, you're buying lunch today," she said as she ran and grabbed her purse and came back and handed them each two dollars.

"I never bought lunch before! I don't know how," Travis told her anxiously as he held the money in his hand and stared at it.

"Have someone show you, OK? Put your money in your pocket," Leah told him as she helped Travis with his coat, hat and gloves. At 7:40 on the dot, Jared drove up and honked the horn. "OK, guys, have a good day!"

"Will you still be here when I get home?" Travis asked Leah.

"Yes. I'll be here until Sunday morning."

Travis finally smiled. "OK. Bye!"

As they ran out to the car, Leah waved then closed the door as Jared drove off. She smiled as the thought popped into her head that she could be happy doing this everyday for the rest of her life. _If only . . ._

Leah walked slowly back to the kitchen and cleaned up their breakfast dishes then when she finished, she made her way into the living room to see if Paul was still sleeping. She found him lying on his back with one muscular arm thrown over his eyes. Without moving, he grumbled, "Bout time you got back. Get your ass over here."

"Now who's getting bossy?" Leah asked as she climbed back into bed with him.

Paul rolled his body to loom over her. "Listen here, woman, this is where you belong."

Smiling a sexy smile, Leah asked, "Oh, really? What's in it for me?"

"Get those clothes off and I'll show you."

"Make me."

Paul grinned. "With pleasure." 

Much, much later, Leah hauled herself out of bed and showered. After pulling on her jeans and Smurfette t-shirt, she brushed her teeth and hair then walked back out to the living room to find Paul gone. Hearing a cupboard close in the kitchen, she walked in to find Paul standing there, stark naked drinking a cup of coffee. "Do you always walk around the house naked?" she asked as she snaked her hands around his waist.

Paul leaned down and kissed her and smiled. "I thought you might appreciate the view."

Leah laughed before replying, "Well, as much as I do, we have some things we need to take care of today. It's almost noon already."

Paul sobered. "I know." He quickly gulped down the rest of his coffee then said, "I'll go shower and get dressed." Before leaving, he set the cup down on the counter and pulled Leah to him for a very thorough kiss. "Don't go anywhere."

"Believe me, I won't."

Paul smiled and walked off to the bathroom to shower and Leah sighed a happy sigh. Paul hadn't eaten breakfast, so she was sure he was probably starving by now. Moving to the fridge, she opened it to see what they had for lunch.

Emily had brought over some food the day before and Leah pulled some of it out to warm up. She had several dishes on the table when Paul walked back into the kitchen wearing a pair of jeans and black t-shirt. "God, I'm starving," he told her as he pulled out a chair, sat down and started piling food on his plate.

As they ate, Leah asked, "Last night you mentioned something about finding out if Ruth had any insurance or a will?" Paul nodded sadly. "Did you still want me to help with that?" Paul nodded again as he chewed.

"Do you know if she had some kind of box she kept important papers in?"

"She had a small gray lock box. I'm not sure where she kept it though."

"Well, while I do that, why don't you gather up all the laundry? I'd like to wash sheets, too, so you all have clean bedding and clean clothes before I leave."

Paul looked up at her. "Are you afraid I can't take care of things around here? That I can't handle the boys and work and take care of the house?"

Leah smiled as she teased, "Well, you are only a man, after all."

Paul snorted. "Yeah, funny. I can do it, Leah. We'll be OK."

Leah reached out and placed her hand on his arm. "I know that. I think it will be hard at first, but once you get into a routine, I think you'll be fine."

Paul just shrugged and went on eating. As soon as they were finished, they cleared the table and piled the dishes into the sink.

"OK, I'm going into your grandmother's room to see what I can find," Leah told him quietly.

Paul just nodded, feeling like a coward, not wanting to go into her bedroom. He caught Leah's hand before she walked away. "Leah? Have I told you how glad I am that you're here?"

Leah gave him a sly smile. "I think you've mentioned it."

Paul pulled her close and leaned his forehead on hers. "You're all that's keeping me sane right now, you know. If it weren't for you and the boys . . . I'm sure I'd still be a drunk mess. This pain is just too much."

Leah circled her arms around his waist and held him close. "I know. When Dad died, it was so hard. I felt so bad because right before he died, I didn't spend much time with him. I was such a bitch then because of what happened with Sam and I treated everyone so horribly."

Paul set her away to look into her eyes. "Leah, don't do that. He knew you loved him and he also understood the pain you were in."

"Yeah, I know. But so many times I wish I could go back and just . . . BE with him, you know? Just sit together and talk."

Paul gave her a sad smile. "Yeah, I know. That's how I've felt about you for five months. I just want to BE with you, and talk to you, and make you laugh. Just hang out like we used to. I mean, don't get me wrong, the last two nights have been the best of my life. Sex with you is . . well, better than anything I could imagine. But, I really miss just . . . being with you."

Leah returned his sad smile. "Yeah, me, too."

Paul pulled her close again and they just stood there . . . enjoying the feeling of being together again. Finally he stepped back and said, "Geez, look at me! I'm turning into such a chick!" He shook his body. "Eww! I feel my boobs growing as I stand here . . . I need to man up," he said as he grabbed his crotch, "and watch a football game or something."

As he walked away Leah laughed at him. "Yeah, you do that. I already have one girlfriend. I don't need another one," she called after him.

Paul laughed at that. "Good one, Clearwater!" he called back from the boy's room.

Leah made her way to Ruth's bedroom, opened the door and looked around before entering. The bed was made neatly, and everything was in it's place, just like she was still here. Walking over to the dresser, Leah smiled at the photograph sitting there in a nice silver frame. It must be her wedding picture . . . she and her husband looked so young! Leah then turned to the closet and opened it to look at the shelves and move some things around until she found the metal box Paul had mentioned. Carrying it out to the kitchen, she sat it on the table then called out, "Paul! I found it."

Paul came into the kitchen with a laundry basket full of the boy's clothes and sheets. "Yeah, that's it," he said as he set the basket down in front of the washer then moved to the table to sit beside Leah.

"Do you want to open it?" Leah asked him. He shook his head, so Leah opened the box. On top was an envelope that was labeled, "Birth Certificates" in Ruth's neat handwriting. "Can I look?"

Paul nodded.

Leah opened the envelope and took out the certificates. The first one she opened was Paul's. "Paul Axel Jacobs? Really?"

Paul rolled his eyes as he explained, "Doreen was a Guns N Roses fan. Axel Rose is their lead singer. At least she dropped the Rose." Leah was trying not to laugh. "Go ahead, let it out. I know you want to laugh, so go ahead, get it all out."

So Leah did. She laughed and then she said quickly, "I'm sorry."

Smiling, he told her, "It's OK. Tyler is named for Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Although apparently Doreen liked Tyler better, so he is Tyler Steven."

"Oh my God. I'm glad she wasn't a Led Zepplin fan. Or Bon Jovi."

Paul chuckled as Leah looked over his birth certificate. "Paul? Your father's name is listed on here. His last name is Uley. Is that like Sam? You two are related?"

"Yeah. His great-grandfather Levi, and my great-grandfather Matthew were brothers. That's where I get the wolf gene."

"Oh. But you don't use Uley as your last name."

"No. Doreen and my dad were never married and I guess she used her name out of spite or something. I found out when I was like 12 that my last name should be Uley, but I never wanted to change it because I liked having the same last name as my grandma."

Leah smiled at that. Then she looked at his Travis and Tyler's certificates. "There's no father listed on Trav's. And he has a NORMAL name! Travis Benjamin. I like it."

"Yeah, Benjamin was my grandpa's name. And I doubt Doreen even knew who his dad was."

Leah turned to Tyler's and noticed something. "Did you know that she listed Tyler's father on here?"

"No. I guess I never really looked at these."

"He's not your half-brother, Paul. His father is the same as yours." Leah held out the certificate to show him the name written there: _James Robert Uley_.

"Huh. So maybe he was out of jail for awhile then, I don't know. I was what, seven when Ty was born?"

"Yeah, but you know what this means?" Paul looked at her curiously and shook his head. "Paul, he could have the wolf gene. If this is where yours comes from . . . "

"Shit." Paul closed his eyes and shook his head. One more fucking thing to worry about. Looking over at Leah, he said, "God, I hope not. I don't want that for the kid. He's smart and he wants to go to college."

"Well, even if he has the gene, it doesn't mean he'll phase. But just beware it's there, OK?"

Paul nodded and picked up the certificates and put them back into the envelope then set it aside as Leah dug into the box again.

"Let's see, this looks like papers for the house, and this is . . . um, your grandpa's death certificate. Oh, this is from a lawyer," Leah commented as she opened another envelope. "Paul, your grandmother made a will. This is a copy. It's dated about 6 years ago. You would have been, what, 12?" Paul nodded.

She held it out so they could both read it. "She left everything to you," Leah said in awe as she looked at him. "The house, the property, any cash in the bank . . . she left it all 'to my beloved grandson, Paul Axel Jacobs.' Since you were still a minor when she wrote this, she left provisions for Jared's parents to be your guardians and to put it in a trust for you until you were of age." Leah looked up from the paper to look at Paul. "She really loved you, Paul. She wanted you to be taken care of even after she was gone. Too bad her daughter didn't take after her."

Paul just stared at the paper. "There's no mention of Doreen," he stated flatly.

Leah shook her head. "No. None."

Paul let out his breath. He knew how his grandmother felt about her daughter, but he wasn't quite sure that she wouldn't feel bad and leave her something. "Thank God."

"You were afraid your grandma might have left everything to her?"

"No. Not everything. I kind of thought she might feel bad and leave her something. I'm glad she didn't. That woman deserves nothing."

"Well, she can contest the will in court and demand that she get something because she's her daughter, but that costs money which I'm sure she doesn't have. Also, now that you're 18 and legally an adult, I'm pretty sure there's nothing she can do about it. But you might want to go ahead and get everything in your name right away just in case. Like the house and any money in the bank, you know."

Paul nodded and looked over the paper while Leah dug into the box again. She found Ruth's Social Security card and Paul's and then she pulled out another envelope. "Paul, this is from an insurance company."

Paul set the will down and looked as Leah opened the envelope. "Oh my God, she had a life insurance policy." Leah kept reading until she found the amount. "It's for $30,000."

"What?" Paul grabbed the paper away from her and looked it over. "What does this mean?"

"It means, that the insurance company will give you a check for $30,000."

Paul looked up at her in shock! "Are you fucking serious?"

Leah laughed at that. "Yes, I'm fucking serious! My dad had life insurance when he died, and Mom got a check. She paid for his funeral and paid off her car and put the rest in the bank. On Dad's instructions, she put some in an account for me and some in an account for Seth to be used towards college."

Paul just sat there. He couldn't believe this. His grandma never told him a thing about any of this. Of course, he never asked. He never thought about her dying and leaving him here with two brothers to support. Closing his eyes, Paul dropped his head into his hands.

"Paul? Are you OK? I know this is a lot to take in right now." Leah was rubbing his back with her hand and if felt so good. Just to have her here through all of this . . . was amazing.

Slowly lifting his head, Paul looked at her and replied, "I guess. I just don't know how to handle all this."

"I think we should take this stuff to my mom. She just went through all this last year. She'll know what to do."

Paul sighed then nodded. "Good plan. What would I do without you? Wait, don't answer that."

Leah smiled as Paul leaned toward her to touch his lips to hers and she sighed. "Alright, let's pack this all back in here and we'll go see your mom after the boys get home from school."

While he did that, she got up and put the laundry in the washer then started the machine. Paul snuck up behind her and put his arms around her. "You know, we have at least an hour until the boys are out of school." His lips traveled along her neck as his hand slid slowly up the side of her body.

Leaning back into him, Leah asked softly, "Yeah? Did you have something in mind?" Paul's hand curved toward her breast.

"Mmm, I always have this on my mind when you're around." His palm grazed her breast and her nipple stood out against her t-shirt.

Turning in his arms, Leah wrapped her arms around Paul's neck and whispered, "Show me."

Paul grinned then picked her up and threw her over his shoulder as she let out a short scream. "Paul! What are you, a caveman?"

"Me like sex. Sex good," he growled in his best caveman voice.

Leah just laughed as he threw her down on the futon then leaned over her. "I'm sorry, baby, but I just can't get enough of you."

Leah smiled as she pulled his shirt up and over his head. "Yeah? I hear that a lot from my girlfriend."

"Oooh, I'm so jealous of her." Paul grinned as he pulled her shirt off and then leaned down to kiss her lips. "God, you taste so good." Easing himself down to lay on top of her, Paul went on kissing her until there was a knock at the door. "Ignore it. They'll go away," he whispered.

"Leah? Are you there?" It was Sue Clearwater.

"Shit! It's my mom!" Leah practically threw Paul to the floor in her haste to get her shirt on. Paul laughed as he pulled his over his head. "Yeah, Mom! Coming!" Leah shouted.

"No you're not, but you want to," Paul said into her ear before she scrambled off of the futon. Turning, Leah smacked him before she made her way to the door. Trying hard to contain his laughter as he made his way to the bathroom, Paul thought maybe he should try to calm down a little instead of standing in front of Leah's mother with a huge boner in his jeans.

Leah smoothed her hair as she ran to the door to whip it open and say, "Gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was locked. I was gathering up laundry. Paul must be in the bathroom."

"Uh-huh," Sue uttered as she gave Leah a disapproving look and walked in with her hands full of food.

"Don't start, Mom. Here let me help you with those," Leah said as she took a dish from her mom and led the way to the kitchen. "Geez, afraid I can't cook?"

"No, I know you can cook. This is some stuff that was left over from yesterday. I just thought the boys would eat it," Sue explained.

Leah opened the fridge and wondered where they would put more food! As she rearranged things, Sue asked, "So how are they?"

"Um, the boys went back to school today, and Paul and I have been going through his grandma's papers." Closing the fridge, Leah added, "Actually I'm glad you're here. We were going to come and see you after the boys got out of school. We found some things we need your help with."

Sue sat down at the table and Leah opened the box just as Paul walked into the kitchen. "Oh, hi, Sue. We were going to head over to see you later."

"So I heard," Sue said. "Leah says you found something you need help with?"

"Yeah, apparently, Grandma had a will and life insurance."

Leah handed Sue the papers and let her look them over. "Would you like something to drink, Mom?" Leah asked as she moved to the fridge.

"No, honey, I'm fine," she muttered as she read.

Leah took out a can of Pepsi and handed it to Paul who smiled and said, "Thanks," then she took one out for herself and popped the top.

"Well, it looks like Ruth took good care of you Paul. And the life insurance policy - that's wonderful."

"Yeah, it's great. But I'd rather have my grandma." Leah looked over at Paul's sad face and felt so bad for him. Instinctively she moved closer and put her arm around his waist then laid her head on his shoulder as his arm came around her and pulled her close.

Sue noticed their closeness but chose to hold her tongue for now. "I know, Paul. That's how I felt when Harry died. But, then I realized that he did this for me and the kids so we would be taken care of. He loved us enough to do this for us. And it looks like Ruth felt the same way about you."

Paul smiled sadly and nodded. "She took me in when I was 5 and never did I go a day after that without knowing how much she loved me. So, what do I do now?"

"Well, you have to call this insurance company and let them know that Ruth has passed away. Then you need to go to the Health Department and get a copy of the death certificate and send them the copy and they will send you a check. It will take a little bit to process, so it will probably be a couple of weeks until you see the money."

"What about the house? Shouldn't he get that put into his name right away? He's a little afraid of his mom finding out and coming in to see what she can get."

Sue smiled and shook her head as she sighed, "Oh, Doreen. I remember her. She was something alright. Yes, I'll help you with that. We'll take a trip to the courthouse next week and get all of this taken care of, alright? But you need to call the insurance company as soon as you can."

Paul nodded. "Thanks, Sue. I really appreciate your help."

Sue folded the papers and put them back into the box. "Keep these safe," she said as she closed the box. Then she stood up and picked up her purse and announced, "I guess I'll go. I'm sure you don't want to hear my opinion on what's going on here between the two of you."

"Mom, please, don't," Leah started.

"I know you don't want to hear it." Sue looked at Paul and said, "Paul, honey, I know this is a horrible time for you. It hurts like hell to lose someone you love. I know that well, and I'm glad that my daughter can be here with you and provide you some comfort. I'm just having a little problem with the comfort she's providing."

Leah started to protest again and Sue put up her hand to stop her. "Look, Leah, you know how I feel about this. Paul has imprinted on someone else, and SHE should be the one here helping him through this no matter how you feel about him. This is killing Rachel, Paul. You should know that. I know you didn't want to imprint, but you did. And you need to be a man and own up to it. I know you care for Leah, and that hurts. But this imprint is not just going to disappear. And the three of you living in this limbo is not good for any of you."

"I know that, Sue," Paul said softly. "I hate it, too. But I don't know how to stop loving Leah. I've tried, but I just can't do it."

Sue smiled at that. "Well, that I can understand," she said as she put her hand softly on Leah's cheek for a moment then her hand dropped as she went on, "I love my daughter and I want what's best for her. And I thought for awhile you were it. She started to smile again and be more like the Leah I know and love. But then . . . well, we all know what happened and I saw her in such incredible pain again. I don't ever want to see her like that again. And I'm afraid that if this goes on, that's what I see for all of you."

"OK, Mom. You've had your say," Leah stated.

"Your mom is right, Leah," Paul interjected. "Sue, I'm sorry. I know that I've caused her pain. I'm miserable so I make everyone around me miserable. I want you to know that I will try harder to solve this problem. I promise you."

Sue smiled. "I know you will. You're a good man, Paul. I've been very impressed by the maturity you've shown. Taking care of two little boys is a lot of work, and I want you to know that if you need help, I'm only a phone call away. Well, when you get a phone," she added with a sly smile as she nodded toward the hole in the wall where the phone had been.

Paul gave a short laugh. "Yeah, I better work on that."

"Alright, I'm going. I'll pick you up at 6 a.m. on Sunday. Be ready," she said to Leah.

"I will," Leah answered shortly. Sue nodded and walked to the door to let herself out.

"Ooh, she makes me so fucking mad! Why did she have to say all that? This is MY life, damnit, and I will be with whoever I want to be with. It's not up to her!"

Paul smiled and put his hands on Leah's shoulders. "She said it because she loves you. Didn't you hear that? And she's right. I've been taking total advantage of you."

"You have not!" Leah shot back. "I'm here because I want to be here. I NEED to be here with you." She put her hands on his face. "I love you, Paul. I don't know how to stop either."

"Then what are we going to do? How can we solve this?" Paul asked softly.

"I have no fucking idea."

Paul laughed and pulled her to him. "God, I love your mouth. It's so foul."

Leah laughed, too, then stepped back. "Well, the boys will be home soon. I need to put the clothes into the dryer and then I think I'll clean the bathroom." Putting a quick kiss on his lips, Leah moved to the washer as Paul watched and wished with all his heart he could figure out a way to keep her here with him forever.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

Leah warmed some of the food her mom brought over for dinner and as they ate, she asked the boys about school. Travis chattered on about his friend, Carly, and how she LOVES the color purple. Tyler was quiet and Leah had to really work to get him to talk. Ruth's death was a lot harder on him than anyone else thought. Then she noticed Paul was just as quiet.

After they were through eating, Leah and Tyler did the dishes as Paul and Travis played on the living room floor with his Legos. They had quite a fortress built by the time Leah walked in.

"Leah, look!" Travis called out.

Smiling at him, she went to sit on the floor beside him. "Wow! This is pretty cool."

"I know," Travis answered. "Paul showed me how to do it."

"Did he?" Leah looked over at Paul and smiled.

"Yeah, didn't you know I am a genius at Legos?" Paul said with a grin.

"Another hidden talent. You are just full of surprises."

"You betcha," Paul snapped back while wiggling his eyebrows at her, making Leah laugh.

"Hey, Paul?" Tyler asked as he came into the room. "Can I hang out with Collin and Brady for awhile?"

"I guess. Where you going?"

"Collins's house to play X-Box."

"Sure. Be home by eleven."

"OK. See ya." Tyler put on his coat and hat and walked out the door.

"It's cold out tonight. Shouldn't I drive him?" Leah asked.

"No. Collin's house isn't far. Tyler likes to be independent. If he wants a ride, he'll ask for one."

Leah smiled as she decided Paul really would be OK raising these boys.

Around nine, Paul took Travis in the bathroom to get him started on his bath. Leah folded laundry and then went to read to Travis before he went to sleep. She tucked him in and kissed him then closed the door part way and walked out to the living room. Paul was sitting on the futon eating a sandwich.

"You're still hungry?" Leah asked as she sat down and snuggled up to him.

Paul smiled and put his arm around her. "I guess my appetite is finally coming back."

"Good. No one likes a skinny werewolf," Leah said with a smile as she stole a bite of his sandwich.

Paul chuckled at that. "Are you saying no one likes Embry?"

Leah smacked him. "That's not nice, stop it," she scolded.

Paul finished his sandwich as they watched some show about crab fishing. It wasn't long before Leah's eyes were starting to flutter. She didn't realize how tired she was. She had been going 100 miles an hour during the day and then not really sleeping a whole lot at night. She sat up and said, "I think I'll put my pajamas on. I'm beat."

"Do you have to put them on? It's too hard getting them off again," Paul said as he kissed her neck.

"Tyler will be coming home soon. Do you really want him to get a live lesson in Sex Ed?"

"Errrrrr, fine," Paul complained. "But just til Ty goes to bed."

Leah smiled as she got up to go to the bathroom where she kept her bag of clothes and things. She couldn't get over how insatiable Paul was! He couldn't get enough. But then, neither could she. Sex with Paul was so different than with Sam. She felt so carried away and free when she was with Paul. It completely took her over and her whole body felt on fire. Just now, thinking about it, her body was tingling in anticipation.

Leah pulled on her pajama pants and tank top then looked into the mirror. _How am I ever going to get enough strength to walk out of here and go back to school? _But she knew she had to. She had made a commitment to the tribe to do this and she knew she had to finish it. She quickly braided her hair and walked back out to sit with Paul. She smiled as she noticed he had stripped down and wearing just a pair of gym shorts.

Paul and Leah were lounging on the futon, gently kissing each other and letting their hands roam a little when they heard the door close behind Tyler. Leah scooted over a little away from Paul as he smiled at her. "Hey Tyler. Have a good time?" she asked.

Tyler shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I'm going to bed," he said as he passed through the living room.

"Good night!" Leah called.

"Night." They heard the bedroom door close and Leah looked at Paul. "What's up with him? You think maybe it's bothering him that I'm sleeping here with you?"

Paul smiled. "No. Collin has a sister, Cristy. I think Tyler has a thing for her."

"Really?" Leah grinned. "Hmmm, maybe I should have a talk with that boy."

"Oh, please don't. He's embarrassed about it. I only found out by patrolling with Collin one night. I've been waiting for Ty to mention it, but he hasn't yet."

"Boys," Leah said disgustedly. "You all hate to talk about your feelings."

"Maybe we hate to talk about them, but it doesn't mean we don't like to act upon them."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, I know that."

Paul pulled her close and kissed her. "I don't mind telling _you_ how I feel." He kissed her again, gently on the lips then said softly, "I love you."

Leah felt her whole body turn to mush as she gazed into his eyes. "I love you, too. So much."

Paul's lips moved over hers as he pushed her back against the pillows. "Men may not like to talk about their feelings because it's so much more fun to show them," Paul whispered into her ear.

Smiling, Leah whispered back, "Then show me." And he did. More than once. 

The next morning, Leah got up and dressed then went to the kitchen to make the little pancakes she had promised Travis the morning before. He came running out in his Thomas costume and climbed onto a chair. "How are these, Trav? Are these the right size?" Leah asked as she held one up for him to inspect.

"Yep."

"OK." Leah poured him a glass of apple juice then put a few pancakes on a plate and set both in front of him. Travis busied himself putting some butter on each pancake then he asked, "Leah? Can you pour the syrup? Grandma always says I make a mess."

Smiling, Leah picked up the bottle then said, "Tell me when to stop" as she poured. There was quite a puddle on his plate before he finally yelled, "Stop!" That's when Paul found his way into the kitchen.

Leah loved how he looked first thing in the morning. He shuffled into the kitchen wearing just his gym shorts, his hair standing on end and his eyes barely open. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he sat down beside Travis to grunt, "Hey, Trav."

"Hey, Paul," Travis said with his mouth full.

"Want some pancakes?" Leah asked him.

"Sure," Paul mumbled as he wiped his hand over his eyes.

"Big or little?"

"Oh, bigger is better," he managed to say with a grin.

Leah chuckled and rolled her eyes as she poured more batter onto the pan. Paul sipped his coffee until she piled some pancakes onto a plate and set it in front of him. "Thanks, babe," he said.

"Babe," Travis giggled.

"What's so funny?" Paul asked him lightly as he poured syrup on his pancakes.

"She's not a baby. She's a girl."

"Yeah, I'm aware of that. It's just a name guys sometimes call a girl."

"Can I call Carly, 'Babe?' " Travis asked.

Leah sat down to eat her pancakes and said, "Um, I don't think so. Little girls don't like it as much as bigger girls."

Travis just shrugged and ate while Leah looked over at Paul and tried not to laugh.

"Should I save some for Ty?" Leah asked as she started to clean up.

"He sleeps late on the weekends," Paul told her with a shake of his head. "He'll get something when he wakes up. Alright, Trav. Go clean up and brush your teeth."

Travis nodded and got down from the table to leave the kitchen, but then he stopped and turned around to run to Leah and hug her legs. "Thank you for making the pancakes. They were good like Grandma's."

Leah squatted down and hugged him. "You're welcome, little man." Letting him go, she watched him scamper through the living room and turn down the hall then stood up and looked over at Paul. "Man, he's a killer. How did he turn out so sweet?"

Paul scooted his chair back and reached for Leah to pull her down onto his lap. "I don't know. Living with Doreen and seeing the things he has seen. Boggles my mind."

Paul wrapped his arms around Leah and held her close then inhaled her scent. Leah had her arms around Paul's neck and rested her face against his head. _God, I'm going to miss this so much when she leaves, _Paul thought. He had been trying to keep that thought from his mind all night, but it kept creeping in. Sooner or later, he would have to face the fact that their time was almost at an end.

After lunch, Travis ran to play with his Thomas train and Ty asked if he could again spend some time at Collin's. Paul smiled and asked, "So, are you actually spending time with Collin or Cristy?"

Leah couldn't believe how quickly Tyler turned red. "Geez, Paul, knock it off," he spit back as he jumped out of his chair.

Paul chuckled. "I'm sorry, bro. Come on, sit down. Talk to me."

Leah was doing up the dishes and pretending not to listen, but of course she was.

Tyler sighed and sat back down. "Yes, I like Cristy, OK? Are you happy?"

"Well, I think the question is, are you happy?"

Tyler shrugged. "I don't know. Girls are so weird."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Paul glanced over at Leah who turned and stuck her tongue out at him. Stifling a laugh, Paul said to Tyler, "I told you all about my girl troubles. Maybe you could tell me yours."

With a sigh, Tyler said, "Sometimes she acts like she likes me, and it's really cool. Then sometimes, like last night, she completely ignores me. Why does she do that?"

Paul looked over at Leah. "Well, we have a girl right here. Why don't we ask her?"

Tyler turned to look at Leah as she put the dish rag down and wiped her hands on a towel. "So, Ty, what are you doing when she ignores you? Are you alone or are you with her brother?"

"Um, usually when she's like that we're all together in the living room. With Collin."

"OK. See, she's probably more open with you when you two are alone because she does like you and she can be herself around just you. But when you're with her brother, she's trying to hide how much she likes you so that Collin won't tease her mercilessly. Believe me, I have a brother. I know just how she feels."

"Oh, I didn't think about that," Tyler admitted.

"How old is Cristy? Is she in your grade?"

"She's in 8th grade."

"Oh, I see. That could be it, too. You're younger than her, so she might be catching crap from her friends. Girls can be so mean. Most 8th grade girls usually try to go with someone older for some reason. I remember when I was in 8th grade, the big deal was to try and get a boy from high school to ask you out." Tyler just nodded as Leah sat down and put her hand on his arm. "Look, Ty, you're a smart guy, and pretty good looking. You take after your big brother here, you know." She glanced at Paul and he grinned and winked. "I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not," she said to Ty, who just smiled. "What I'm trying to say is if she really likes you, and it sounds like she does, just be patient with her. Try to spend some time with her away from her brother. You know, like maybe sit with her at lunch, or ask her to take a walk or something. Got it?"

Tyler smiled. "Yeah, I got it."

"Don't you have a birthday coming up soon?" Leah asked.

"Yeah, February 8th."

Leah nodded. "So, you'll be 12 and she'll be 13. Not too much difference then, is there?"

"No," he admitted.

"Did you know that I'm older than Paul?" Tyler looked surprised and shook his head. "Yep. He's only 18, a baby, really. I'm 20. I'll be 21 in April."

"Yeah, but I turn 19 this summer, so you're only really 2 years older, and I am NOT a baby," Paul pouted.

That made Tyler laugh. "What? So I like older women," Paul said. "Apparently so do all the Jacobs men."

Tyler rolled his eyes at that and stood up. "Thanks, Leah."

"You're welcome, Ty," Leah said with a smile. "Anytime."

"I'll be home for dinner," Tyler told them as he walked out of the kitchen and they soon heard the door open and close as he left for Collin's house.

Paul got up and wrapped his arms around Leah. "Look at you. You seem to be able to solve all our problems."

"I wish," Leah sighed softly.

Smiling weakly, Paul rested his forehead on hers as he whispered, "Me, too, babe. Me, too."

Leah told Paul that she really wanted to do something special with Travis today, so she asked if she could treat them to a movie. There was a new Disney movie playing at the theater in Forks and she really wanted to take him to see it.

"Sure, but you don't have to buy. I do have some money," Paul insisted.

"I know that, but I want to."

Paul smiled and gave in, knowing he could never really tell her no to anything. "Fine. Go get him." Leah clapped her hands like a little girl and went running into the living room. Pretty soon he heard Travis shriek and he knew he must like the idea.

"Paul! Paul!" Travis yelled as he ran into the kitchen. "Guess what? We're going to the movies!"

"I know! Go get your coat," Paul told him.

They all piled into the car and Paul drove them to Forks. Travis loved the movie! They all ate popcorn and drank pop and Paul actually found himself enjoying it, too. Afterward, they walked across the street to the little diner for pie. They slid into a booth, Leah and Paul on one side, Travis on the other.

"Do they have cherry pie? It's my favorite," Travis asked.

"Yes they do, and it's my favorite, too," Leah told him.

They ordered their pie and Travis chatted about the movie. "I can't wait to tell Carly. She told me she wanted to see it and I got to see it before her!"

"Well, don't make her feel bad. That wouldn't be nice, buddy," Paul said.

The waitress brought their pie and set it down and Travis dug in heartily.

"Remember when we came here that day for pie?" Paul asked Leah.

"Yeah, weren't we trolling for chicks?" Leah said into his ear. He laughed heartily and Travis looked over at them.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Leah. She has cherry on her face and she doesn't even know it." Travis giggled as Leah's hand snapped up with her napkin to wipe her face then she looked at Paul and stuck her tongue out.

After their pie, they drove home and Travis got out his crayons and paper then told Leah he was going to draw a picture from the movie for Leah to take back to school with her. Laying down on the floor, he quickly got to work while he watched Sponge Bob Square Pants.

"We'll be in the kitchen, OK, Trav?" Paul told him. Travis just nodded as Paul took Leah's hand and led her into the kitchen where he caught her to him and pushed her up against the wall as his lips crushed down on hers. His hand slid down her body around to her ass and Leah could feel how badly he wanted her as he pressed himself into her. Their tongues tangled as their hands roamed. Paul's hand went up inside her shirt, under her bra to play with her nipple, and as Leah let out a little moan, she decided they were getting a little too out of hand.

"You know, Travis could come walking in here at any moment," Leah panted, her lips still on Paul's.

"Fuck," Paul muttered as he pulled his hand away. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Well, I know what you were thinking with," Leah said with a grin as she adjusted her bra and pulled her shirt back into place.

That made Paul laugh as he adjusted himself and said, "Yeah, it's a habit of mine."

"I've noticed," Leah agreed as she walked to the sink to get a drink of water.

"Have I told you I really like your hair long? It's grown a lot in 5 months."

"Yeah, I haven't cut it," Leah said as she turned back to face him. "I figured since I wasn't phasing, there was no reason to keep it shorter. I like being able to put it up when I'm in a hurry to get to class."

Paul had stepped closer and was running his fingers slowly through her hair, loving how the silky the strands felt against his hand. Leah closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling as Paul whispered, "You are so beautiful, Leah. I have to find a way to be with you. I am finding it hard to think about letting you go. Do you feel the same?"

"Yes," Leah whispered back. They stared into each other's eyes longingly for a few minutes then finally Leah broke away, turning toward the fridge to take out food for dinner. Tomorrow was coming way too fast and she really didn't want to think about it right now. 

Tyler made it home in time for dinner and he seemed to be in a much better mood. Things with Cristy must have gone well this afternoon.

They sat down to eat and Travis told Ty all about the movie. He talked pretty much non-stop all during dinner as Paul just stared at Leah. It was getting closer and closer to the time when she would walk back out of his life and he was trying hard to memorize every inch of her face.

After dinner, Travis talked Paul into playing checkers on the living room floor and Leah offered to help Tyler with some homework at the kitchen table. That's where they were when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it," Leah called out on her way to the door. She opened it to see Rachel standing there. "Oh, hi," Leah said in surprise.

Rachel glided in past her, completely ignoring her as she shrugged out of her coat and walked into the living room, calling out brightly, "Hi guys!"

Paul was lying on his stomach on the floor in front of the checker board when he noticed Rachel come in. Quickly he sat up to say, "Hey, Rach."

Rachel walked over to kneel beside Paul then put her arms around him and draw him in for a kiss . . . a long kiss on the lips before saying, "Don't let me interrupt your game." Then turning to smile at a glaring Travis, she said sweetly, "Hi Travis. Who's winning?"

"No one. I quit." And with that, Travis threw his checkers onto the board and got up to stalk over to Leah and ask, "Leah? Can I have a snack?"

Leah looked at Paul sympathetically and said, "Sure, buddy. Come on." Taking his hand, she led him into the kitchen to leave Paul and Rachel alone.

"Why are you here, Rachel?" Paul asked.

"Why wouldn't I be, Paul?" Rachel answered, her anger and jealousy seeping into her voice. "I should be here, comforting you, helping you take care of the boys. Isn't that _my_ place?"

Paul sighed and wiped his hand across his eyes. God, he didn't need this right now. "Rachel, I am really sorry for the way I've treated you. You're right. You don't deserve it. You have been nothing but kind and loving to me, and I have let you down over and over. I have no idea why this imprint happened, but it did, and even though I have been trying, I haven't really put all of me into it."

He could see Rachel start to calm down a little. "I know, Paul. I know it's been hard for you."

"But . . . I just can't deal with this right now. I am trying so hard just to get through each hour without breaking down in front of the boys. Grandma being gone . . . it's killing me. So, if you could please just cut me some slack, I promise we will talk next week, OK? I start a new job on Monday, and I'm a little worried about working all day and not being here for the boys . . . it's just a lot, you know?" Rachel nodded sadly. "Look, Leah is leaving first thing tomorrow morning. I know I've caused this jealousy in you and I'm sorry. But I promise, we will talk after she leaves."

"I am sorry for how I acted at the funeral. It was horrible of me. But, Paul, seeing her with you, and to know that she is staying here with you . . . "

"Rach, please, I know it's not right, but . . . I just really need her right now. I'm sorry that it hurts you, but Leah's been my best friend for so long now, and . . . she is really helping me get through all this shit. I don't know what else to say. I'm just trying to be honest with you."

Rachel sniffed and tried hard to hold back her tears. "I appreciate that. I just wish you would let me be the one to help you through this."

Paul gently brushed a strand of hair from her face. "I promise, we will talk. Just give me another day, OK?"

Finally Rachel smiled and nodded her head slightly as she stood up and reached for her coat. "I'll go. I'm sorry I interrupted your game with Travis. He always seems to be mad at me."

Paul stood up and said, "I know. I will talk to him about that, believe me."

"I'll see you soon?" Rachel asked. Paul nodded then Rachel leaned in and put a soft kiss on his lips. "Good night."

"Yeah, good night." Paul walked her to the door and closed it after she left. As he stood there and watched her drive away, he felt strange. He realized he might have just given her false hope and that's not what he meant to do. _Shit. I'm so damn sick and tired of the whole thing._ With a deep sigh, he turned and made his way to the kitchen.

"Hey Travis," Paul said. "That was really rude, you know, the way you treated Rachel."

"I don't like her," Travis said simply as he dunked his Oreo into his milk.

Paul sat down next to him. "I know. You don't hide that very well. But even if you don't like someone, it doesn't mean you can be rude to them."

With that, Travis looked at Paul and asked anxiously. "Are you mad at me?"

"No. Look, I understand. I just want you to know that I don't like the way you behaved in there. The next time you see Rachel, you will be nice even if you don't want to be, OK?"

"OK," Travis agreed reluctantly.

"That's all I ask." Paul mussed his hair then reached for an Oreo. "Is there any milk left?" he asked as he looked around the table and noticed that all three of them were dunking Oreos in milk. Leah smiled and poured him a glass of milk. "Thanks, babe," Paul said without thinking as she set the glass in front of him.

"Thanks, babe," Travis giggled. "That's so funny."

Travis' laughter was contagious and soon the rest of them joined in. Leah looked around the table trying hard to take a mental picture of this moment. She knew she would want to pull it out when she back in Spokane missing them all like hell.

When bedtime came, Leah sat with Travis in his bed and read every Thomas book he owned. They even listened to the book she had already recorded. When they were done, Leah pulled him close and kissed him on top of the head. "I'm going to miss you a lot, Trav."

"I'm gonna miss you, too. Do you have to go?"

"Yes, I do. I have to go back to school."

Travis laid down and Leah saw his little lip quiver as he tried hard not to cry.

"I'll be home in May for Sam and Emily's wedding, so I'll see you then, OK?"

Travis nodded and rolled away from her. "Good night."

She quickly ran her hand through his hair. "Good night, Travis. I love you."

"Love you, too," he mumbled into the pillow.

Feeling awful for hurting him, Leah pushed herself off of the bed, turned out the light and walked out of the room.

"That was really hard," she said to Paul as she sniffed and wiped her own tears from her eyes.

Paul just smiled and held out his arm for her to sit next to him. Tyler was sitting on the floor watching TV and he asked, "He's crying, isn't he?"

Leah sniffed again and nodded.

Tyler stood up and looked at Leah. "I'll go be with him."

Leah stood up then to hug Tyler. "Thanks. I'm going to miss you, Ty."

"Yeah, I'll miss you, too." He let her go and added, "Mostly because Paul will be a grumpy ass again until you come back."

Leah smiled at that. "Well, just kick his ass once in awhile for me and tell him to suck it up."

"Like I could," Tyler snorted.

Paul interjected, "You got that right."

Then Tyler looked back at Leah and said softly, "Bye, Leah."

"Good night, Ty." Tyler then walked to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Leah sighed as she realized just how much she was going to miss them. Turning to Paul, she told him softly, "I'm going to shower and pack my things so I won't have to worry about it later."

"Good. Don't take too long."

Leah winked at him and turned to make her way to the bathroom. Paul missed her as soon as she walked away.

Leah was all packed, her bag was sitting by the door and her clothes and shoes laid out on the chair. She crawled onto the futon and set the alarm then laid back to wait for Paul. He was making the rounds, making sure all the doors were locked and turning off the lights.

Paul walked over to the futon and looked down at her as he pulled his shorts off and left them on the floor. Leah threw back the sheet and showed him that she wasn't wearing any pajamas. He smiled at that as he lay down beside her and pulled the sheet back over them. Neither of them had any words to describe their feelings at this moment. In a few short hours, Leah would walk out the door and travel back to school, and it would be another 4 months before she would be home again.

They gazed into each other's eyes, silently wishing morning wouldn't come so quickly. Finally Paul leaned over to kiss her then jumped back as he felt the jolt. _What the hell? _Pulling her closer, he kissed her again, touching his tongue to hers. It hit him again, in the chest. _Oh no. No, no, no. Shit, damn, fuck! The imprint. It was causing him pain again, like before. Why now? Why had it disappeared for three days only to return now, on their last night together?_

"Paul? What's wrong?" Leah asked softly.

"Nothing," he said quickly then pressed his lips onto hers again, only harder this time, trying to push the imprint away. Rachel's face floated into his mind, and he felt the pain again. He kept trying to push past it as he kissed her and ran his hands over her. The harder he tried, the more painful it became.

Paul could feel tears rolling out of the corner of his eyes as he squeezed them shut. He rolled on top of Leah and pushed into her, even though she wasn't quite ready and they both cried out softly in pain. It was consuming him as he tried to move faster and faster until finally he couldn't take it any longer and he pulled out and rolled off of her as he hissed between his clenched teeth, "Oh God, no," the pain crushing his chest.

Leah just lay there on her back, sliding into her ears, as she asked softly, "It's the imprint, isn't it?"

Paul rolled off of the futon and onto his hands and knees as tried to get the pain to subside. "Fuck this. Fuck it!"

Leah rolled over to Paul's side of the bed and buried her face into his pillow so he wouldn't hear her cry. _Why? Why now? Three days! We had three wonderful days. Is that all we'll ever get?_

Paul finally flopped over onto his back and stared at the ceiling while his breathing slowed to normal. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" he asked Leah softly.

Slowly, Leah moved to her back to answer, "No, you didn't hurt me. Are you OK?"

"The pain is gone, but I am far from OK," Paul answered angrily. "This is fucking bullshit. Why, Leah? Why did it disappear for three days only to come back now . . ." then it hit him. "Rachel was here." _Damnit. Was she the key to this? Was it because of what I said to her?_

Leah pulled on her pajama pants and top and then rolled over to look down at Paul on the floor who turned his head to meet her gaze and say, "I am so sorry, Leah. All I wanted was to spend one more night with you. To hold you and love you . . . "

Leah reached out her hand and ran it through Paul's hair. "I know. It's what I wanted, too. But Paul, for some reason, I think maybe these three days are all we get."

"No. Please don't say that. I won't give up!"

"You have to! There is no way I will be with you and put you in this pain."

"But, what about these three days? If it happened once, it can happen again."

"What? You want to live your whole life hoping we get another three days? Maybe that's OK for you, but I won't live like that." Leah turned onto her back so she didn't have to see his face. She couldn't take it any longer.

Paul sat up to look at her and plead, "Leah, please don't say that."

Sadly, Leah looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, Paul, but that's how I feel. I love you too much to make you suffer any more. I'm letting you go."

Paul crawled onto the futon to grab her by the shoulders and growl, "Like hell you will. I told you I will never give up, and neither will you!"

"Paul, please, we only have a few hours left. I don't want to fight. Please," she pleaded.

Paul stopped and hung his head. "I'm sorry. I just can't fucking take this anymore. I just can't."

"I know." Leah reached up and touched his cheek then she sat up and handed him her pillow. "Here. I'll get you a blanket and you can sleep here on the floor beside me."

"I'll get it," Paul returned as he stood up and moved to the hall closet to grab an old quilt and walk back to spread it out beside the futon. Leah rolled to her side, covered by the sheet, to watch him lay down on his side to face the futon and look up at her.

This was not how they had planned on spending their last night together. But it was all they had.

"I won't lay here and think that this is our last night together. No matter what you say, Leah, I will never give up on you."

Leah closed her eyes and wished with all her heart she could do something or say something that would make him realize how futile this fight really was. But she knew he was stubborn. Almost as stubborn as she was. Finally she whispered, "I know you won't, Paul. But you should. You'll never be happy if you don't."

"I'll never be happy if I do."

Leah smiled at him. "You're such a stubborn ass."

"Takes one to know one," Paul returned with a smile.

Paul held out his hand and Leah took it. Paul held it as long as he could then he brought it to his mouth and kissed it before he had to let go. "Good night, Leah."

"Good night, Paul."


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

FIXING A HOLE

Paul walked Leah to the door in the morning and held her close one last time, not caring how badly it would hurt then took her face in his hands and whispered, "I love you, Leah." He then kissed her on the lips for as long as he could stand it and wiped her tears away with his thumbs as she smiled.

"I love you, too, Paul." They had decided on no goodbyes. This was hard enough . . . saying good bye was just too much. Leah leaned forward and kissed him softly then opened the door and ran to her mother's car.

Paul turned away and shuffled back to bed and lay down with his head on her pillow, inhaling her scent and trying hard to keep it with him. As he lay there, he thought about the women in his life. When he was very little, he had loved his mother, but her love for drugs was stronger than her love for him, and he lost her forever. Then his grandma spent the last 13 years of his life teaching him what it was to truly love someone, and then she died. Now, the one woman that he could spend the rest of his life loving just walked out the door.

What was the point of loving someone? Apparently it only caused pain and heartache. He knew he could never love anyone the way he loved Leah, so that was it. He was done. From now on, it would be work and taking care of the boys, and patrolling for leeches. His life was simpler when that's all he had. He hoped with all his heart it could be again. 

Leah unlocked the door to her dorm room and noticed it was empty, as usual. She wondered why Jamie didn't just move her stuff to her boyfriend's apartment. She was never here anyway. Right now, Leah was glad for that.

Dropping her bag inside the door, Leah fell onto her bed to finally let out all of the emotion she had been holding all day as she traveled. As the sobs wracked her body, she decided this was the last time she would cry over Paul. Once again, the imprint was telling her the man she loved wasn't hers to love. She had to do everything possible to put him in the past. She couldn't let this break her. Even though she was pretty sure it already had. 

When the alarm went off the next morning, Paul got out of bed, woke Tyler and then made his way to the kitchen to start the coffee. He set bowls, spoons, cereal and milk on the table then pulled food out of the fridge to get started on making lunches for all of them. Tyler walked out into the kitchen, sat down and poured his cereal and soon after Travis shuffled into the kitchen. Once the lunches were all made, Paul sat down to sip his coffee. They all sat there in complete silence. Even Travis could find nothing to say.

Finally Ty and Travis finished their breakfast and brushed their teeth and were waiting patiently when Jared honked the horn. They ran out the door, and Paul thought how they were probably in a hurry to get away from him.

Paul quickly put their dishes in the sink and then went to shower and get ready for work. He was starting his new construction job today. Chuck had told him not to worry about when he got there as he knew now Paul would have to get the boys ready for school before he could leave for work. Paul dressed, grabbed his lunch from the fridge and put on his steel-toed boots. Then he grabbed his keys and walked out the door to begin living his new life without love.

A week went by since Leah left. Paul had gotten up each day, gone through the motions, then stayed up as late as he could before finally succumbing to exhaustion. He had taken one of his lunch breaks to meet Sue at the court house to start the paperwork to put the house in his name and then they stopped by the Health Department to pick up a copy of his grandma's death certificate to send to the insurance company. He thanked Sue for her help then escaped before he could ask her anything about Leah. He knew he was still weak and anything she would tell him would just hurt like hell, so what was the point?

Emily had shown up early this morning to pick up the boys to spend the day with her. Jared was coming over to help Paul patch up the hole in the wall where the phone had been and then put in a new phone jack so he could hook up the new cordless phone he had bought. Paul heard the door open as he opened his tool box and he hollered out, "Bout fucking time you got here. You remember the donuts?"

But it wasn't Jared he saw when he turned around. "Hey, Paul," Rachel said softly.

_Shit._ He had done his best to avoid Rachel and now here she was. It was wrong, he knew, but just getting through each day missing both his grandma and Leah was so hard. It hurt just to breathe sometimes . . . he just hadn't wanted to add to it. But it couldn't be avoided any longer. "Hey, Rachel."

"I haven't heard from you all week. How's the new job going?"

"Good. You want some coffee?" Paul offered as he poured himself a cup.

"Sure." Pouring another cup, Paul set it on the table then Rachel sat down and pulled the cup toward her and took a sip. Paul pulled out a chair to sit across from her and did the same. Rachel finally ended the awkward silence by saying, "Paul? We need to talk about us. What the hell is going on with you? Will you please just be honest with me?"

Paul sighed and looked at her to say, "I am so sorry, Rachel. The last few months have been a nightmare for you and it's all my fault. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you, but, I can't do this anymore. I know now that I will never stop loving Leah. I've tried, I really have . . . but I just can't do it. I know that I can't be with her because of the imprint and because I love Leah, I can't be with you. It's time to just stop this whole fucking thing."

Rachel sat there as Paul talked and felt her heart sink. It really didn't surprise her though. She had a feeling that after spending that time with Leah, he wouldn't give up on her. Looking at him, she said sadly, "I guess I'm not surprised, really. I could see it . . . how much you love her. That's what drove me to act so . . . horribly. It hurt like hell."

With a sigh, Rachel stood up and took her cup to the sink, pouring the coffee down the drain before she turned and leaned back against the counter. "You know, the sad part is, I feel we really could have had something great if only you would have given into it." She was trying to hold back her tears because she didn't want to let him see how hurt she really was. "I do feel something for you I've never felt for anyone. I even thought of marriage and children . . . which is something I never thought I really wanted that badly. Are you really sure you want to just throw this away, Paul?"

Paul closed his eyes and thought about it for just a second then he looked up at her and nodded. "I'm sorry, Rachel. This is just the way it has to be."

Quickly wiping away the tears that had escaped, Rachel said, "OK. I guess I had to try. But I'm done, Paul. I won't embarrass myself again by coming here and begging. I'm leaving for Seattle soon. It's time to start the life I planned before this whole disaster sidelined me. I need to get the hell out of this town."

Rachel turned and started for the door when Paul stood and caught her arm. "Hey, Rachel, don't do that. This is your home, your family lives here and I know how much they have missed you. Don't run away again and make them suffer because I'm such an ass. Stay in touch with them, OK? If there is anything I have learned in the last year, it's how important family really is."

Rachel gave him a sad smile. "Yeah, I know. I guess that is the one good thing that's come out of all of this. Connecting with Dad and Jake again. I will . . . stay in touch with them. I promise."

"Good."

Turning again, this time Paul let Rachel go and followed her to the door. "Good luck, Rach. I'll watch for you to show up on my TV," he told her with a small smile.

Returning his smile, Rachel murmured, "I hope so."

Before Rachel could open the door, Paul surprised her by pulling her close and saying, "I am sorry, Rach. I hope you find a guy out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. You are an amazing woman." Then he kissed her softly on the cheek. "Good bye, Rachel."

"Good bye, Paul." With a sad smile, Rachel opened the door and walked to her car. Paul stood there and watched her go and felt relieved and yet . . . completely empty.

Just then Jared drove up and jumped out of his car to walk up to the door carrying a box of donuts. Paul stepped back to let Jared walk in as he asked, "Was that Rachel that just drove away?"

Paul nodded, "Yeah. She's leaving for Seattle."

Surprise showed on Jared's face as he spouted, "What? Really?"

"Yeah. This shit is finally over." Paul took the donuts from Jared and walked to the kitchen to set the box on the table and open it to take out a donut.

"What do mean it's over? This is an imprint, Paul. You can't just walk away from it."

"But it wasn't working, and it's not fair to Rachel to keep her here and have her give up her dream. She told me she was going, and I wished her luck. Leah is at college living her dream, and so it's done. I have two jobs to work, two brothers to raise, and a fucking reservation to protect. I think that's more than enough to keep me busy, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess." Jared picked up a donut and took a bite as Paul handed him a glass of milk because Jared hated coffee.

"Come on, let's get to work on this hole. I have to work at the store today from 1 to 5, patrol from 6 to 9 then pick the boys up from Emily's."

"Man, it sucks to be you," Jared muttered as he shoved the rest of his donut into his mouth.

"Yeah, tell me about it." 

Tyler's birthday was a couple of days away and Paul was wondering what to get him as he drove home from work. The kid worked hard, studied hard and got good grades . . . he deserved a really cool birthday present. _But what?_

Paul parked the car in front of the house and walked inside to call out, "Ty, Trav! I'm home!" as he threw his hat and keys on the table then sat down to take his boots off. Noticing the mail on the table, Paul set his boots aside then picked it up to shuffle through and stop at an envelope from the insurance company. Opening it, he was shocked to pull out a check made out to Paul A. Jacobs in the amount of $30,000! Paul just sat there and stared at it in disbelief . . . he had never seen that many zeros on a check in his whole life!

"Hey, Paul. Is macaroni and cheese and hot dogs OK for dinner?" Tyler asked as he walked into the kitchen.

Paul quickly shoved the check back into the envelope and answered, "Sure, Ty. That's fine."

After the boys went to bed that night, Paul sat at the kitchen table with a pad of paper and wrote $30,000 at the top then made a list of where he thought the money should be spent. First he owed the funeral home $3,500 for their services when his grandma died. Next he wrote, '$5,000 each in an account for Travis and Tyler.' He wanted them to have something from Grandma to help when it was time for college. He knew she would want that. Next, he decided he needed to look for a truck. His car was dying, and it was all he could do to keep it running. Driving back and forth to Forks everyday hadn't helped. He would save out $5,000 for a used truck and the rest would go into the bank to save for anything else that might come up.

Paul then sat back and looked at the list. He was glad the house was in good shape and didn't need any work right now. Now that all the priorities were covered, Paul decided he would save a little out to buy something cool for Tyler's birthday. That kid had gone way too long without, sacrificing over and over for his demon mother and for his little brother. It was time he got something he deserved.

"Paul, we have to make Tyler a cake for his birthday, but I don't know how Grandma did it." Travis came to him the day before Tyler's birthday all upset. "What are we going to do?"

Tyler was at Collin's house, and Paul was actually enjoying a whole afternoon off for once. Travis climbed onto the futon beside him as Paul told him, "I'm sure Grandma has a recipe somewhere. We'll just have to look for it. Or, maybe Emily could help?"

"Yeah! Emily is a good cake baker!"

"Why don't you give her a call?" Paul suggested.

Travis nodded and ran to the kitchen to call Emily as Paul laid his head back and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. It was tougher than he thought to work two jobs, run patrols, make sure they had groceries and clean clothes, do the housework, and keep an eye on the boys. He never got enough sleep. Emily had been great help watching the boys when he had to work weekends, and Kim insisted on coming over once every couple of weeks to do a thorough cleaning of the house. He knew he would be completely lost without them. Suddenly he remembered Leah saying, "You're only a man, after all." Turns out, she was right. One man couldn't do it all.

"She said she would help!" Travis called out. "She wants to know if we want her to come here or go to her house?"

Paul was just too tired to drive Travis over there, so he asked, "Is she still on the phone?" Travis nodded. "OK, I'll come and talk to her." Hauling himself off of the couch, Paul walked to the kitchen to pick up the phone. "Hey, Em. Can you come here? I'm beat."

"Sure, Paul. Do you need any ingredients? We'll need flour, sugar, cocoa . . . "

"Whoa, slow down. Let me open the cupboards. OK, start over." Em called out ingredients and Paul checked to see if they had it. He had everything except cocoa and eggs, but Emily had those, so she said she would be over in about 20 minutes. Paul thanked her profusely then hung up. "She'll be here in just a few minutes, OK?" he told Travis who nodded excitedly.

Paul smiled at him. This kid loved to be in the kitchen! Maybe he'd grow up to be a chef or something.

True to her word, 20 minutes later, Emily walked in, took over the kitchen and she and Travis baked the cake, frosted it and then cleaned up. When she was done, she sent Travis into his room to change his shirt then made her way to the living room to see what Paul was up to. She found him sprawled on the futon, with the TV remote in his hand, mindlessly flicking through the channels. Sinking down into the chair next to Paul, Emily stated, "You look tired. I don't know how you do it."

With a smile, Paul answered, "What choice do I have?"

"You need to quit the grocery store, Paul. You don't make much there and Travis misses spending time with you."

"I know, I've been thinking about it. I know something has to give," Paul admitted. Pete had been really good to him over the years, but his job with Chuck paid more, and he was working enough hours to pay their bills. And now that he had the insurance money in the bank, he figured he could have the weekends to spend with the boys. That was more important.

"Have you heard from Leah?"

Paul's head snapped up. "Why would you ask me that?"

"You two were very close when she was here, and since Rachel has moved to Seattle, I guess I just thought . . . "

"No, I haven't heard from her. I don't expect to."

Curiously, Emily asked, "What happened?"

"Look, Em, no offense, but I really don't want to talk about her, OK? It still hurts like hell."

"I'm sorry, Paul. I didn't mean to pry."

Paul sighed and tried to smile. "I know you didn't. Maybe someday, I'll be ready to talk, but . . . not yet."

"Well, the cake is done, and I need to head home. Let me know if you need help with anything else."

"I will. Thanks alot, Em. For everything."

Standing, Emily called out, "Bye, Travis!"

Instantly, Travis ran out of his room to hug Emily. "Thank you, Emily."

"You're welcome, honey," she returned warmly then she left and Travis ran back to his room to play with his Legos and Paul laid back and decided to take a much-need nap. 

Paul surprised the boys by ordering pizza for Tyler's birthday dinner. They ate every bit then Paul lit 12 candles on Tyler's birthday cake. Paul and Travis sang a very off-key version of "Happy Birthday," and then Tyler blew out his candles. As usual, Tyler praised Travis for helping to make the cake and ate three pieces to prove how much he liked it.

"OK, time for presents!" Travis sang out as he handed Tyler his present. "I made the paper," he added excitedly.

"Yeah? Good job, Trav," Tyler said as he unwrapped the gift. "Hey, it's about time I got one of these!" Tyler said as he pulled the dream catcher from the paper. "I'm the only one that doesn't have one. Thank you, Travis. I really like it."

Tyler gave Travis a one-arm hug as a thank you. "You're welcome." Travis beamed from Tyler's excitement over his gift.

"Well, I wasn't sure what to get you, Ty, so I picked this up. I hope you like it," Paul told him as he pulled a big box out from behind his chair and set it in front of Tyler.

Tyler's eyes grew wide as he saw the box. "Wow. This is huge!" he exclaimed as he pulled all the wrapping paper off then sat down hard on his chair in shock.

"Oh my gosh! Tyler! It's a PlayStation!" Travis yelled out as if Tyler couldn't see that.

Tyler just sat there staring at the box. "Ty? Hey? Don't you like it?" Paul asked.

"Is this really a PlayStation?" Tyler asked.

Paul laughed. "Yeah, it is. And there are a couple of games there, too."

"This is too much," Tyler said slowly. "I never had anything like . . . "

Paul cut him off with, "Yeah, you're right. You never had anything. Period. I thought it was about time you got something really cool. You've always gone without, Tyler, and you never deserved that. I want you to have this. It will be something fun we can all do together."

A slow smile spread across Tyler's face as he stood up and walked over to Paul. Tyler wasn't really a touchy feely kind of guy, but he wrapped his arms around Paul and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much, Paul! This is awesome!"

"You're welcome, bro. Happy Birthday."

"Let's hook it up!" Travis shouted excitedly.

"Alright! That's what I'm talking about!" Paul shouted as he stood up and Tyler carried the box into the living room.

"Wait!" Travis called. "You have another present!" Travis came running into the living room with a package that had come in the mail.

"What's that Travis?" Paul asked.

"I don't know. It's for Tyler. The mailman brought it."

_Leah_. He knew she wouldn't let Tyler's birthday go by without sending a gift. Tyler ripped it open and pulled out the card. On the inside of the card she wrote:

_Dear Ty,_

_I remembered the talk we had one night while you were doing homework, and when I saw this, I knew I had to buy it for you. I hope you have a great birthday! Enjoy your gift._

_Love,_

_Leah_

Tyler tore the paper away to find a book on astronomy. "Wow, this is awesome."

"I didn't know you liked stars and stuff," Paul said as he saw what Leah had sent him.

"Yeah, I told Leah that one night," Tyler shrugged. "It's cool she remembered."

Paul smiled. _Yeah, she would remember something like that. _"Remember to write her and thank her, OK?" Paul reminded him.

Tyler nodded as he flipped through the book.

"Hey! Are we gonna hook this up or what?" Travis asked.

Paul and Tyler both laughed and then Paul answered, "Yes, we are." As soon as it was set up, they all played with it for the rest of the night. Since it was a Saturday, Paul even let Travis stay up until after ten. After Paul finally got him to bed, he and Ty stayed up longer and played each other. Finally around one in the morning, Tyler told him he was tired and was going to head to bed.

"Thank you for the game. But . . . aren't these really expensive?"

"Don't worry about it. Grandma left us some money, Ty. I know she would want you to have something cool for your birthday. You went too many birthdays without anything. Think of this as a present to make up for all those you didn't get."

Tyler smiled then said, "I remember when I first got here, I thought you were such a dick. But you're not. You are a really good brother."

Paul laughed at that. "Gee, thanks." After their laughter died out, Paul said seriously, "You know, Tyler, when Grandma died, Leah and I looked through her papers and we found your birth certificate. Did you know that we're not half-brothers?"

Tyler's confusion showed on his face. "We're not?"

"No. We are true brothers. We have the same mom AND the same dad. Of course, he's not much of a dad . . . he's in jail right now like he has been for most of my life, but, I guess I just wanted you to know that."

Tyler smiled. "I guess that's kind of cool."

Paul elbowed him. "Yeah, it is."

"Wait . . . does that mean that someday . . . I might do that . . . that I might be a wolf, too?"

Paul sighed at his question. He should have known Tyler was smart enough to make that connection. "Yeah, you might. But just because you have the gene doesn't mean you'll phase. I don't want you to worry about it, OK? But if you do feel weird someday and get a really high fever, you come and find me, and I'll help you through it."

Tyler just nodded then asked, "What about Trav?"

"There was no father listed on his birth certificate."

"Figures," Tyler snorted. Then he let out a big yawn. "Well, thanks again. I'm going to bed."

"You're welcome, bro. Good night."

Paul sat there for a few minutes then he picked up the card that Leah sent to open it and read it. Just seeing her handwriting made his heart ache.

Paul turned off the TV and PlayStation and then reached under the futon and pulled out the box that held his letters from Leah. He opened it and took out each letter one at a time and read them. A smiled played at his lips as he read her words and could hear just how she would sound if she were telling him in person. After the last letter, he pulled out the picture of her that she had given him for Christmas. He had to put it away because it caused him too much pain to look at it every day. A sigh escaped as he gazed at her beautiful smile. He still missed her so much . . . he knew no matter how hard he tried, there would always be a hole inside of him that could never be fixed.

Paul placed the letters and the picture neatly into the box and slid it back into its hiding place to be taken out another time. He settled back against the pillows and prayed that somehow he could fall into a dreamless sleep. 

"It has been over 2 months. I guess it's time, you know?" Paul said to Emily. She had come over this Saturday to help Paul clean out his grandmother's bedroom. Tyler, of course, was with Collin and Brady, and Sam had taken Travis fishing.

As Paul and Emily stood in front of his grandma's room, he realized the door had not been opened since Leah went in there to find the box with Ruth's papers in it. He just couldn't bring himself to go in there. But now, it was time. "I can't thank you enough for coming over and helping with this."

Emily smiled. "It's OK, Paul. I know this is hard. We'll go in and start with her clothes, alright? And if gets to be too much for you, you take a break whenever you need to."

Paul nodded, took a deep breath then turned the doorknob. The door swung open and his grandma's scent wafted softly over him. He closed his eyes and inhaled and for just a moment . . . it was like she was still here with them.

"Paul? Are you alright?" Emily asked softly.

And then it was gone. Opening his eyes, he nodded, "Yeah. Let's do this." They walked inside and as Paul looked around, he realized that he never really came in here much at all even when she was alive. This was his grandma's sanctuary - her own space.

Emily opened the closet door and said, "I'll pull these things off of the hangers and fold them and put them on the bed. Then we can put them into the boxes."

Again Paul nodded. Not knowing where to start, he wondered over to her dresser and looked at the things there then picked up the picture of his grandparents on their wedding day. He smiled and marveled at how young and pretty his grandma looked. This, he decided should be out in the living room where they could all see it. After examining all of the other things there, he turned and picked up a box and started sorting out those things he wanted to give away.

He and Emily worked all afternoon until everything was cleared out and packed up. As Paul carried the boxes outside and loaded them into the bed of his new truck, Emily gave the room a good cleaning. By the time they were done, the walls were bare, and all that was left was the bed, an old wooden rocking chair and a dresser with empty drawers. He had saved some of her things: her Bible, a few pieces of jewelry and some pictures and old mementos they found, but everything else was gone. Paul looked around at the emptiness and felt tears sting his eyes. Closing his eyes, he whispered, "Good bye, Grandma."

Another week went by before Paul decided to move into his grandma's room. He knew it was what she would have wanted for him. She hated that he had to move to the couch when the boys moved in. So, he bought a new mattress for the bed because the one she had was very old and very lumpy, and he moved his stuff into the room. Paul tried very hard to push away the feeling that first night he was sleeping in his grandma's room. This was his room now, his own place. He made himself comfortable and then remembered the last time he slept in a real bed was with Leah, in her bed, the night he went to her after he had seen Doreen. He looked over at the empty side of the bed and tried to picture her there, with her eyes closed and her hair spread out over the pillow. His hand rested on the other pillow as he sighed and let his loneliness surround him like a blanket.

Then he shook it off, moved to the middle of the bed and closed his eyes to sleep. 

Leah opened the mail box and smiled as she pulled out all of the birthday cards. Today she was 21, a full-fledged adult. Jamie was already 21 and she offered to take Leah out drinking tonight to celebrate, but Leah wasn't feeling it. She scooped up the cards and went up to her dorm room to flop down on her bed and start opening the envelopes. She opened the one from her mom first and blinked back the tears. Sue always bought some sappy, sentimental card and then wrote a little memory on the inside of Leah when she was little. She signed it, "I love you, baby girl, with all my heart and I am so proud of you. Mom." And she had enclosed a check for $40. Leah smiled and wiped the tears then set it aside.

She had one from her brother that was silly, and one from Jared and Kim that included a "Get Out of Jail Free" card from a Monopoly game in case she went out drinking for her birthday and got arrested. "Ha, Ha, Jared. You're such a dork," she mumbled with a smile.

She was surprised to find one from Sam and Emily. Emily had written, "I _remember how we always planned to go out and celebrate our 21st birthdays together at some club where we were going to meet a couple of hot guys that drove a hot car and we would dance all night. Of course, we were like 12 when we made those plans, but, I guess I wanted you to know I remembered. I hope your day is everything we dreamed."_ She even added, "_I miss you, Leah_."

Then she saw where Sam and scratched, "_Happy Birthday, Leah. Love, Sam_." She held that card and marveled at how she had treated these two people and yet, they still could reach out to her like this. "Well, I feel like an ass," she muttered. They had hurt her deeply and she had a right to be hurt. But it was time to put it behind her . . . for good.

Leah sighed and threw it down onto the bed to pick up the card from Tyler. She smiled at the front - it was a picture of the Vincent Van Gogh painting, "Starry, Starry Night." She opened it and Tyler had written:

_Happy Birthday, Leah! _

_I hope you have a really nice birthday. _

_I wanted you to know that Paul started paying me an allowance because I do so much around the house now, and I am saving up for a telescope. Hope your classes are going good. See you in May!_

_Love, Tyler_

They had talked one night while she was helping him with homework and he shared that he always thought he wanted to work with animals, but lately, he had become really interested in space and the stars. He had borrowed a couple of books from the school library on astronomy and was learning the different constellations. She smiled as she set the card down and was glad that she had given him something he really liked.

The next one was from Travis. These were always her favorite because he made them himself. He was quite the artist! On the front was a drawing of her reading a book to him. She opened the card and smiled as she noticed his writing was getting better. He wrote in his favorite green crayon:

_Happy Birthday Leah! I miss you a lot. Love, Travis._

Leah sniffed her tears back. She loved these boys so much and missed them terribly.

Leah picked up the last card and her heart skipped a beat as she recognized Paul's handwriting! She hadn't heard from him at all since she left. She opened the envelope, took out the card and then laughed as she read it. It was a cartoon of two squirrels sitting by a campfire, roasting marshmallows and the caption read, "I thought you told me we were going to TOAST my birthday!" She opened it and smiled as she saw his handwriting. It had been too long.

_Happy 21st Birthday, Leah! This is a big day for you. I hope you have a good one. Just remember to drink lots of water and sleep on your stomach. (Did I mention that once before?)_

_This card made me remember by birthday. I wish I could give you the same present._

_Love, Paul_

Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered that birthday they spent alone on the cliff top. She laid back and held the card to her chest. Her heart ached for Paul, all the time. She felt like she had this big, gaping hole in her chest that no one could fill but him. As much as she tried, she couldn't put him in the past. She knew now, she never would.

Leah sighed and put the cards aside and opened the small pink box she had brought home with her. Inside was a large red velvet cupcake from the bakery a few streets over from the campus. Taking it from the box, she sang, "Happy Birthday to me . . . " then she imagined a candle on top and blew softly as she stuck her tongue out and licked off some of the frosting and thought how this was the most depressing birthday she had ever had.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

A TASTE OF HONEY

"Are you serious, Sam? You really want me to be your best man?" Paul asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I do. I know things have been really awkward between us since you and Leah . . . well, you know. But we used to be tight, you and me, and I guess . . . I guess I miss that. So will you?"

Paul grinned and said, "Sure. Why the hell not?"

Sam laughed and smacked Paul on the shoulder. "Good."

Paul realized that Sam was right. He and Sam had been close until the whole thing with Leah blew up between them. Sam, Paul and Jared always hung out together and patrolled together. They were the first three to phase and that had given them some kind of bond. Lately, Sam and Paul had been spending more time together with Emily always fussing over the boys. Paul teased her that it was time to get her own pack started. She winked and told him she was working on it.

"So, what do I have to do?" Paul asked Sam.

"You show up to rehearsal on Friday night before and find out. You still have a suit, right?" Paul nodded. "Good. Wear that the day of the wedding. Oh, and most important? You are in charge of the bachelor party," Sam said with a grin.

Paul laughed at that. "Well, I will do my best."

Emily asked Travis to be the ring bearer, Claire was to be the flower girl and she gave Tyler the job of lighting the candles before the ceremony. So, since both boys were in the wedding, Paul decided they needed suits. They took a "brothers trip" to Port Angeles on a Saturday and shopped. Not one of his favorite things to do, but they had cheeseburgers for lunch, and then stopped for ice cream before they drove home, so it wasn't all bad. Since it was one of those rare sunny warm spring days, Paul even took them to the waterfront to look at the boats there and Travis was thrilled! Even Tyler smiled and seemed to enjoy himself.

Paul had never even been to a bachelor party, let alone planned one! He had no idea what to do, so he talked to Jared and they finally decided to throw a bonfire on the beach. They went to Sam's and put the grill in the back of Paul's truck then loaded up on hot dogs and burgers and took it down to the beach. They invited all the guys and told them to show up at sunset.

Of course, Kim and Emily sent along some food, too, and all of them had a great time just sitting around the fire eating and telling stories. Sam brought some beer, but didn't allow Collin and Brady to have any and Seth only got one. The rest of them had a few more, and Paul probably a little more than he should have. He didn't think he was drunk, but he wasn't feeling any pain for the first time in a very long time.

Jared realized that Paul had probably had too many when he noticed how much Paul was laughing at the stories everyone was telling. He hadn't seen Paul that relaxed in months. Not since Leah left.

The party finally broke up and Jake and Seth stayed to help Jared and Paul clean up. It was then Jared noticed that Paul had a lot more beer than he realized. Paul was really feeling good and Jared knew he would have to drive him home. After Seth and Jared loaded the grill into the back of the truck, Jared turned to Paul and said, "Alright, Pauly. Get in. I'm driving you home."

"What? You think I'm drunk?" Paul said as he belched then laughed hysterically.

Jared chuckled and said, "Uh, yeah, I think you're drunk. Come on." Jared grabbed Paul's elbow and led him toward the passenger side of the truck.

Paul jerked his arm away and slurred, "I can do it myself, you dipshit." Then he spotted Seth who was talking to Jake. "Hey, Seth! Where's you sister?" he shouted. "Is she back yet? Cause I wouldn't know. It's not like she gives a fuck about me!"

"Paul, stop. Don't do this," Jared pleaded with him as he tried to haul him back towards the truck.

Paul shook him off and staggered unsteadily toward Seth. "I haven't heard one fucking word from her since she left. Can you believe that? I even sent her a birthday card. I did! I didn't want to, but I did it. Because I still love her. I don't want to. I don't fucking want to, but I can't fucking help it!" he slurred as he held on to Seth's shoulder so he wouldn't fall. Then his face crumpled as he asked, "Why doesn't she want to talk to me? I'm a nice guy."

Seth looked at Jared with a look that said, "HELP ME!"

Jared jogged over and pulled Paul away from Seth. "Answer me, damnit! Why?" Paul yelled at Seth.

"I don't know, Paul. You'll have to ask her," Seth finally answered. "I really don't want to be in the middle of this shit." Then he turned and ran down the beach toward home.

Jacob finally spoke up, "Come on, I'll help you get him into the truck." They each put one of Paul's arms around their shoulders and started walking toward the truck.

"And you!" Paul said as he looked over at Jake. "Are you gonna hate me forever cause I didn't love your sister? I couldn't help it. I never wanted to fuckin imprint. You know that! But she _was_ hot. Rachel was really hot and she wanted me to have sex with her ALL the time."

"OK, Paul. You might want to shut up now," Jared said quickly.

"What? She did. But I couldn't do it. Couldn't get it up. Isn't that fuckin weird? Me? Couldn't get it up for a hot girl? But she wasn't my Leah. I love my Leah."

Jake shoved Paul up against the truck and held him there. "Look, Paul. I know you're only shooting your mouth off right now because you're drunk. But I want you to know that I'm glad Rachel left. You made her so fucking miserable! She is so better off not being around you." Jake opened the truck door and shoved Paul inside. "Just go home and sleep it off. You're an ass when you're drunk."

Jared handed him a bucket from the back of the truck. "Here. If you're gonna puke, use this." He slammed the door and looked at Jake. "I have got to remember to never let him drink. EVER!"

Jacob half-smiled at that. "Good luck getting him home."

"Thanks, Jake. Sorry he said that about Rachel."

"Yeah, whatever. She's better off in Seattle. She actually seems pretty happy there. I'll see ya." And with that, Jacob took off at a jog into the woods.

Jared sighed and got into the truck. "Give me the keys, Paul."

Paul grinned. "No. You have to find them."

Jared grabbed Paul's arm. "Look, I am not digging in your pockets you perv. Give me the damned keys."

Paul frowned and tried to dig the keys out of his pocket. He finally got them and threw them at Jared. "Here, you dick."

Jared started the truck and made the short drive to Paul's house. Luckily, Paul made it the whole way there then as soon as Jared parked the truck, Paul opened the door and puked all over the ground. Jared made him stay there until he was sure he was done then he hauled him out of the truck and into the house.

"Dude, I swear if you ever so much as LOOK at a beer again, I will kill you."

Paul laughed way too loud as Jared walked him to his bedroom then sat him on the bed and pulled his shoes off. "Lay down. I'll be back." Paul fell over on his side, still laughing as Jared went to the kitchen and got a bowl out of the cupboard and a big glass of water and some aspirin. Then he walked back to Paul and said, "Get up. I need you to drink this."

Paul obeyed and took the aspirin and drank the whole glass of water.

"If you have to puke again, please try to get it in this bowl, OK?" Paul just nodded and took the bowl. "I'm going to sleep in the living room. If you need something, call me." He pushed Paul to lay down on the bed.

"Jared?"

"Yeah, P?"

"I'm sorry I got drunk. But it made the pain go away. Just for a little bit."

"I know, buddy. Get some sleep." Jared turned off the light, but left the door open so he could keep an eye on him. After making sure the front door was locked, Jared turned off the lights and laid down on the futon. Paul was his best friend and he hated seeing him like this. Leah was coming home tomorrow for the wedding and he hoped to hell that they could find some way to be together and Paul could be happy again. So they ALL could be happy again. 

The big day arrived and Paul was trying hard to get himself and the boys ready for the wedding. Tyler actually liked getting all dressed up, so he was the first one dressed and ready to go. Except for the tie. "Paul? I don't know how to tie this, do you?" he asked as he walked into Paul's bedroom.

Paul smiled sadly as he remembered Leah tying his tie before his grandma's funeral. "No, I don't. Wait til we get to the church. I'm sure someone there will know."

Paul finally had Travis ready and they all piled into the truck to drive to the church where they walked inside to find Sam pacing back and forth. "It's about time you got here!" he growled at them.

"You said to be here by two and it's ten till. You need to chill, bro," Paul told him with a smile.

Sam let out a sigh. "I know. I don't know why I'm such a nervous wreck. I've been waiting so long for this day, and now it's finally here. I guess it's just the ceremony part, you know?"

"I get that," Paul chuckled. "So do you know how to tie a tie? As you can see, none of us do," he stated as he nodded toward Travis and Tyler.

"No, I don't. Emily had the guy at the store tie this one and all I had to do was put it on over my head and slip the knot up."

"Great. Well, guys, let's hope someone shows up soon that knows how to do it." 

Leah put her dress on and gazed at her reflection in the mirror. It was a short dark purple dress with a high waistline and a flowy skirt. She adjusted the spaghetti straps over her shoulder and decided it didn't look too bad. She had added a few curls to her hair then pulled front up and pouffed it a little before securing it with a barrette and pulling a strand out to hang by her face.

After adding a touch of make up, some silver hoop earrings and a squirt of perfume her mom had given her for Christmas, she decided she was as ready as she would ever be. Leah was not looking forward to this day at all. Watching Sam marry Emily was hard enough, but she also knew Paul would be there. She had no idea how she would restrain herself from running into his arms. But then she remembered the last time he held her and the grimace of pain on his face. She couldn't stand the thought of causing him anymore pain - physically or emotionally.

"Leah! Come on! We'll be late," her mom called up the stairs. Leah sighed and slipped on her shoes as she muttered to herself, "Let's get this over with." 

Paul and his brothers hung out with Sam, trying to calm him down. Emily's sister, Claire's mom, was the maid of honor, and she came out and gave Travis his ring bearer pillow. The wedding ring was tied onto it so he wouldn't drop it and she told him to hang onto this pillow and not to set it down anywhere! He nodded solemnly as Travis took this job very seriously . . . he immediately clasped the pillow tightly to his chest.

The door of the church opened and Paul turned to see Sue and Seth walk in, and behind them . . . _Leah_. He gasped inwardly as he watched her. Her beauty always took his breath away and today was no exception. The purple dress she wore swayed back and forth as she walked . . . she looked gorgeous.

Sue smiled and greeted Sam then bent down to talk to Travis. Seth went to stand with Tyler and that left Leah and Paul, standing there a few feet apart, just staring at each other. Finally, Paul reached into his pocket, pulled out his tie and silently held it out to her.

A beautiful smile broke out on Leah's face as she took tie from him then stepped forward to turn up his collar. She put the tie around his neck and as she tied it, Paul leaned forward slightly to catch the smell of flowers and sunshine from her hair. He also caught a whiff of her perfume and found it intoxicating.

Leah finished tying his tie and put his collar back down then stepped back. "You look very nice," she told him quietly.

"You look beautiful," Paul returned, his voice just above a whisper.

"Leah! Leah!" Travis called out as he ran to her, still holding the pillow to his chest. She kneeled down to take him into her arms.

"Hey, little man. I missed you so much," Leah told him as she squeezed him tight.

"I missed you, too." She let him go and Travis held out the pillow. "I'm the ring bear!"

Leah laughed as she noticed how he said "bear" instead of "bearer." "You are? Big job. You ready for it?"

"Yes! Except, I don't have my tie on. Paul didn't know how to do it. Can you do it for me?"

"Of course I can." She tied Travis' tie then stood up to look at Tyler. He held out his tie with a smile and she took it and tied it for him then she pulled him in for a big hug. After she stepped back she told him, "I think you grew at least 3 inches since I saw you last!"

"Yeah, Paul had to buy me some new jeans. I grew out of the ones that I got for Christmas already."

Leah smiled and choked back tears as she looked at all three of them standing there. _My boys_. That's how she always thought of them. "You all look very nice."

Then Sam stepped over and Leah looked at him. Paul ushered the boys away as he knew this might be a tough moment for Leah.

"Hi, Leah. You look . . . you look really beautiful," Sam said hesitantly.

"Thanks," Leah smiled. "You look very dapper yourself. Are you ready for this?"

Sam grinned at that. "Yes, I am. More than ready."

"Good. Bout time you made an honest woman of my cousin," Leah told him. He looked surprised and Leah said, "It's done, Sam. It's in the past. I'm OK with this, really."

Sam looked relieved. "I'm glad, Leah. I can't tell you how hard it is has been for me to know that I caused you so much pain. I have hated myself every day for it."

"Don't. Just be happy, OK?"

Sam nodded. "I will. You, too." Then Leah surprised him again by stepping forward and putting her arms around him. He held her close and dropped a kiss on her head then she let go.

Leah smiled again before saying, "I'm going to go and see the bride. Good luck out there!" And then she was gone.

Sam looked over at Paul and said, "Wow. Didn't see that coming."

Paul smiled and told him, "Yeah, she's full of surprises." He wished with all his heart, she had one for him. 

The wedding went off without a hitch, and they were now at the recreation center for the reception. Emily and Kim had decorated it themselves and it looked very romantic as the room glowed with candlelight. There was lots of food and a gorgeous wedding cake and Emily's sister had sprung for a DJ so they all could dance.

Leah stood at the entrance to the room and took it all in. For a moment, she wondered what it would be like to be a blushing bride. "Wow, looks great, doesn't it?" Leah turned to see Jared standing there.

"Yeah, it does," she smiled. "I take it this is some of Kim's handy work? Practicing for her big day?"

Jared pulled her in for a one-armed hug and said, "I fucking hope so! Look at you! You look like a girl. When did that happen?"

Leah smacked him and he just laughed at her. Then she marveled at how Embry and Quil each took a turn pulling her into a big bear hug. "It amazes me how I actually miss you guys," she told them all.

Just then, she heard a wolf whistle from behind her. She turned to see Jacob grinning at her. "Bout time you made it home, Leah!" Then he lifted her into a big bear hug.

"Man, I haven't been mauled like this since I went to the Halloween party at the fraternity and they were all drunk!"

Their laugher was like music to Leah's ears. It had been too long since she just hung out and had fun. They spent some time asking her all about college. She told them she had finished her first full semester and was proud that her grade point average was a 3.9 out of 4. It was hard work, but she felt really satisfied. Like she was fulfilling her destiny or something.

"So how long you home for?" Embry wanted to know.

"I'm only home for a couple of days then I'm heading back. I am going backpacking with a couple of friends of mine before our summer classes start."

"Oh yeah? Anyone special?" Jacob asked.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Yes, Jake, they're all guys and we are going into the mountains to have a wild orgy," she told him sarcastically.

"Awesome! Can you find a couple of girls and invite me along?"

"Yeah, right. Like you would know what to do with them," she teased.

That brought a huge laugh from all the other guys standing around who were now shoving Jake as he sputtered, "I think I could figure it out."

Paul stood a few feet away watching them, wishing he could be in on that. In the old days, he would have been the first to step up. Now, he stayed in the shadows and just watched.

The group dispersed and went to get food and Paul made his way to Travis and asked him if he was hungry. He helped him fill his plate then they sat down at a table to eat. Tyler was hanging out with Collin and Brady, but Paul noticed how his eyes followed Cristy around the room. He smiled at that. _Ah, puppy love_.

Paul's own eyes wandered searching the room for Leah. He found her sitting with Seth, Embry, Jared and Kim and they were laughing at something Embry had just said. Her head tilted back a little then her hand came up to cover her mouth as she laughed. _God, she's so beautiful. _He realized Travis had just asked him something. "What?" he said.

"I SAID, is Leah staying with us tonight like she did last time?" Travis asked excitedly.

_A knife in the heart. _"No, buddy. Not this time. She's staying with her mom and brother."

Travis' face fell. "Oh." _Yeah, oh._

They finished their meal and Claire came over to get Travis to play with her. He rolled his eyes like it was such a chore to play with a baby, but Paul knew he secretly loved playing with her. "Go on. Just stay in this room so we know where you are." Travis nodded and ran off with Claire as Paul cleaned up their plates and took them to the trash.

"I notice you're keeping to yourself. Afraid to talk to her?" Jared asked.

"No. Just giving her her space."

"Chicken shit," Jared said with a grin.

Paul rolled his eyes and walked over to get some punch. He stood there looking at Leah trying to decide what he would say if he did get up the nerve to talk to her. Jared was right. He was a chicken shit.

Sam and Emily had cut the cake and were now enjoying their first dance as a married couple. Paul watched them in amazement as they stared into each other's eyes with such love. Then he looked away and told himself for the hundredth time it wasn't in the cards for him. He had had his chance with two different girls and he blew it with both of them. Enough was enough.

Leah sat there, picking at the frosting on her cake, trying not to watch Sam and Emily dance. It wasn't because she missed Sam. She had told him the truth today when she said she really was OK with them getting married. That was done and in the past. It was because she kept picturing herself in a long white dress dancing at her own wedding . . . with Paul. She sighed and shoved the plate away as her brother sat down next to her.

"Hey, mopey. You gonna finish your cake?"

Rolling her eyes at him, Leah pushed the plate over to him. "Just like the old days. Always stealing my food."

"Hey, at least I asked first," he said with a mouthful of cake as Leah gave him a small smile. Seth finished off the cake in two bites then put the fork down and looked at Leah. "When are you ever gonna be happy? I thought going to school would be good for you, but every time I see you, you have that same look on your face. Except when you spent that time with Paul when his grandma died. Then you were . . . I don't know, lit up inside."

Leah looked at him and gave him a sad smile. "I always want what I can't have, Seth. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"You know Rachel is gone. She left right after you did and moved to Seattle."

"I know. Mom told me."

"So? What's stopping you from being with him? If you love him that much, just tell him. He's still all mopey over you. The other night at Sam's bachelor party, he got drunk and whined at me because you haven't talked to him since you left. He still loves you, Leah."

Leah closed her eyes and sighed. "I know, Seth, but it's more complicated than that. I HAVE to finish school. I can't stay here. I have another full year of classes and now, I don't know how I'll be able to . . . "she stopped and sighed then said in frustration, "I don't want to talk about it, OK?"

"Whatever. You both deserve each other." And with that, Seth got up and walked away.

Leah smiled as she looked out to the dance floor and noticed Tyler and Cristy dancing. He was holding her at arm's length and he looked like he might throw up at any minute. But Cristy was looking into his eyes and chatting with him . . . she was enjoying every second. _Good for you, Ty._

Then Leah stole a glance toward Paul, who was talking to Jared, as usual. She was fighting the strong urge to talk to him. Just to chat. Be his buddy. She was just too afraid it wouldn't be enough.

"Just ask her to dance. Just one dance can't hurt," Jared suggested.

"You think I could dance with her just once? Jared, you're asking the impossible. Beside, I don't know if the pain would still be there when I touch her," Paul argued.

"You'll never know if you don't try."

Paul took in a deep breath and thought about it. _Maybe just one dance. He could stop at one, couldn't he? Probably not. But maybe she wouldn't even say yes. God, he hated feeling like he was in middle school again._

Finally deciding he had the balls to do it, he set his cup of punch on the table, stood up and winked at Jared. "Alright! That's what I'm talking about," Jared called after him.

Leah watched in fearful anticipation as Paul made his way toward her. He had taken off his jacket and tie, and several buttons on his shirt were undone and she smiled as she thought he still was the sexiest man she had ever known.

Paul stopped right in front of Leah and looked down into her eyes. "Hey, buddy," he said with a smile.

Leah smiled brightly at his nickname for her. "Hi, buddy."

Paul held out his hand and asked, "Would you dance with me?" He found he was actually shaking like a leaf waiting for her answer.

This wasn't a good idea, Leah knew. But then she smiled as she thought how she told him once in a letter "_when had anything they had ever done been a good idea?"_ Leah took a deep breath, stood up and took his hand then followed him to the dance floor.

Later Leah realized she couldn't remember the song they danced to, but she remembered every detail about how it felt to be in Paul's arms again as he placed one hand on her lower back and took the other in his and rested them both right over his heart. She looked up at him as they moved slowly in a circle and it was like everyone else was gone and they were the only two people on the floor. Time stood still as they gazed into one another's eyes.

Paul's mouth went dry and he felt himself break out into a sweat as he took Leah into his arms. He had longed for this moment for four long months and he held his breath as he waited for the pain to stab him in the chest. But it didn't come. _The pain from the imprint was gone! Am I finally free from it? Or is it just like the last time where it was gone for three days, only to come back?_

Paul finally decided he didn't care. He wanted to enjoy every moment he had of holding Leah in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and he took in her intoxicating scent. Neither of them spoke - they didn't have to. They both knew this time was fleeting and words would just spoil it. Leah could feel his heart beating under her hand and realized it was beating as fast as hers.

Then, too soon, the song ended and Leah stepped back. She knew if she didn't walk away now, she never would. "Thanks Paul," she said softly.

Paul nodded then watched her walk away before turning and immediately walking out of the building to get some fresh air. All of a sudden, his chest was tight and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He had wanted to pick her up and carry her away from here. Somewhere they could be alone. Somewhere they could be together forever. "Get a grip, Paul. Remember your plan. No love. It's not worth the pain," he mumbled.

"You OK, bro?" Jared asked as he walked up behind Paul.

Paul shook his head. "No. I'm a fucked-up mess. I think I always will be."

Leah walked directly into the rest room and locked herself into a stall. She had vowed never to shed another tear over Paul and yet here she was, once again, a blubbering fool. She unrolled some toilet paper and tore it off to blow her nose, muttering, "Damnit," as she sat down on the toilet and put her head into her hands. Paul had told her one time to be proud and strong. Her strength was one thing that drew him to her. Where was that strength now that she really needed it?


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

YOU'VE GOT TO HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY

The day following the wedding, Leah called to ask if she could take Travis and Tyler out for the day. Tyler walked into the living room carrying the portable phone and asked Paul if he minded. Feeling just a little deflated that she had just asked for the boys, Paul just nodded then Tyler said into the phone, "Yeah, sure. OK, see you soon."

Tyler hung up then looked at Paul. "Why aren't you two . . . I mean, Rachel's gone and now you can be . . ."

"It's more complicated than that, Ty. She has school and . . . I don't know. I don't want to talk about it, OK?"

Tyler nodded sadly as he laid the phone down then went to tell Travis. Paul watched out the window until he saw Sue's car pull into the drive, then Leah climbed out wearing jeans and a baggy orange t-shirt that looked like it might be Seth's. He smiled as she walked up to the house, her hair blowing in the breeze. His heart skipped a beat just at the sight of her.

Paul pushed himself off the futon to answer her knock on the door. "Hey, come on in," he said with a forced smile as he opened the door for her then stepped back and caught her scent as she walked by.

Leah stood there awkwardly by the door for a moment then said, "Um, thanks for the birthday card. It was really sweet of you."

Paul gave a genuine smile at that. "Yeah, that's what all the guys call me. Sweet Paul."

Leah laughed and it was like music to Paul's ears. "Yeah, _that's_ what they call you."

Another awkward silence.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you," Paul started, "But . . . I finally got my GED."

Leah's face lit up. "You did? Paul that's awesome! I'm so proud of you!" Before she thought about it, Leah launched herself at him and Paul caught her in a hug. "I know Ruth is proud, too," she said into his shoulder.

Then Leah realized what she was doing and pulled away, looking up at him shyly to say, "I know you did it for her, but, I hope you're just a little bit proud of yourself."

"Yeah, I am," Paul admitted with a smile. He was actually more excited about her reaction. That's what made it worthwhile for him . . . to see her so proud of him.

"So are you all ready to go?" Leah asked. She could tell by the look on Paul's face he was confused by her question. "We're going to Port Angeles? To play mini-golf?"

"Tyler said you asked if he and Travis could spend the day with you," Paul explained.

"Well, yeah, but I decided you needed to come, too. I hear you don't get out much. Besides, I decided it might be fun to whip your ass in mini-golf. Winner buys the ice cream," she added enticingly with a grin.

A slow smile spread across Paul's face. He wasn't sure exactly what this meant, but he wasn't going to let the opportunity pass him by. "I'll take that challenge, Clearwater."

"You better bring a lot of money with you," Leah said as Paul sat down to pull on his shoes. "If you do manage to win, you know I can eat A LOT of ice cream." Then she realized she shouldn't have said that as she could see exactly what was going through Paul's mind. That memory of them sitting naked on the futon eating chocolate ice cream flashed through her mind, too. She had been fighting with herself all the way over here about asking him to come with them. The pull to be with him was just too strong and she found once she was here, facing him, she couldn't deny it.

Thankfully, Travis ran out into the living room. "Hi, Leah! Are we really going to play mini-golf?"

"Yep. Have you ever played before?" Travis shook his head. "Well, it's not too hard. I think we'll have fun."

As they walked out of the house, Tyler turned to Paul. "Are you coming, too?"

"I have been challenged, Ty. Leah thinks she can whip my ass! Can you believe that?"

Tyler smiled at Paul then looked at Leah. "Yeah, I can believe that."

Paul shoved him affectionately and said, "Get in the car."

As Leah drove to Port Angeles, Travis chattered on about everything he had been doing in the last 4 months since he had seen her. Tyler would jump in every now and then with something and Leah would comment on each thing they told her. Paul just sat there quietly soaking up being this close to her again.

Paul insisted on helping her pay, so they split it 2 and 2, then they all got their clubs and started their game. Leah worked with Travis, trying to help him learn that he didn't need to smack the ball so hard that it went flying off the course. He finally started to get the hang of in by the sixth or seventh hole and they settled in to play in earnest.

It all came down to the last hole. Leah and Paul were tied, with Tyler 2 strokes behind them.

"This last hole looks tricky," Leah said as she surveyed it. "I hate these big hills."

Tyler took his shot and surprisingly got a 2.

"Not bad, Ty," Leah commented as she wrote down his score. Travis took 6 hits just to get it to stay on top of the hill then he took 3 more to get it into the hole. But he had fun doing it, and he didn't care about his score, so that was all that mattered.

It was now Leah's turn and she finally settled beside her ball and took her shot. The ball sailed up the hill and just as it was almost at the top, it slowed and rolled back to hit her foot. She hung her head as Paul snickered. She glared at him and took another shot. This time the ball went over the top and stayed on the green, but didn't quite make it to the hole. She tapped it in for a 3.

"Alright, smart ass, take your shot," she flung at him as she heard him snicker again.

He stepped up confidently and smacked a perfect shot right onto the green about 2 inches from the cup. He walked over and tapped it in for a 2.

"Hmm, who kicked who's ass?" Paul asked her with a grin.

Leah flicked the score card at Paul and called out, "Come on, boys. We are going to eat A LOT of ice cream. Paul's buying." They cheered as they ran to the car and Paul just shook his head. Somehow he had the feeling she had thrown that last hole just to get him to buy. He chuckled at that thought. It would be just the kind of thing he knew she would do.

They all went down to the waterfront to get ice cream, and before they went into the store, they watched the boats for awhile. "I LOVE the boats! When I grow up, I'm gonna get a boat," Travis told them. Leah was standing behind him with her arms around him as he stood up on the railing to watch. How she loved holding this little boy. She felt like she could stand here holding him forever.

Paul finally pushed them toward the shop telling them he was starving. "You're always starving," Leah said with a grin as she walked past him into the ice cream shop. _If she only knew how starved he was for her._

Leah ordered the biggest sundae they had - three scoops of ice cream with three toppings, including whipped cream, nuts and two cherries. Tyler and Travis each ordered a 2-scoop sundae and Paul just laughed at them. "I hope I have enough money to get something for myself." He ordered a sundae just as big as Leah's and paid for all of it then they all sat down to enjoy their ice cream feast.

Travis had hot fudge all over his face and Leah laughed at him. "Here, Trav," she said as she handed him a napkin. "Try to get some of that in your mouth, will ya?"

Travis took the napkin and wiped at his mouth then shoved more ice cream into it. "Man I hope he doesn't puke on the way home," Paul commented as he watched Travis.

Tyler called out, "Shotgun on the way home!"

"Oh no. I'm not cleaning that up. I'll drive and we'll make Leah sit in the back with him," Paul said.

Leah gave them a dirty look. "You guys stop it. I will happily sit in the back with Travis on the way home. We'll have fun, won't we, Trav?"

"Yes, we will. I won't puke, I promise."

They all laughed at that then Paul and Ty made a wager on how far they would get until Travis lost it. Ty said halfway and Paul said the driveway. They bet a dollar.

The boys piled into the car as Leah handed Paul the keys. She smiled and shook her head at him as he grinned and held out a plastic bag he had asked the clerk at the ice cream shop for before he headed to the car. "Thanks a lot," she said.

Paul started the car and headed home to La Push. He listened again as Travis and Leah chatted then Travis suddenly got quiet. Tyler looked at Paul with a worried look and Paul nodded that he had noticed. "Leah? You got that bag ready?" Paul asked.

"What?" Then she looked over and noticed Travis holding his stomach. "Oh, Trav," sighed as she got the bag up to his mouth just in time as he let go and she felt the bag tug a little as the vomit hit it. Leah turned her head away and realized she better get used to this if she was actually going to be a nurse.

Paul pulled the car to the side of the road and Leah pulled Travis outside to get some air. Besides, the puke smell was getting to all of them. Travis threw up one more time on the ground and Leah had Tyler dig in the glove compartment for some napkins so she could clean him up.

Paul held out a dollar to Tyler who took it with a grin. "I saw that," Leah said in disapproval and Paul and Tyler just laughed.

After settling Travis back in the car, Leah climbed in and Paul drove them the rest of the way home then he carried Travis into the house and helped him change his clothes. "Lay here and rest a little bit, OK?" Travis nodded. "Call me if you need anything." Travis closed his eyes and Paul took his clothes out to the washer and threw them in then turned on the machine.

Leah had followed him to the kitchen. "Is he OK?"

"Yeah. I told him to lay down and rest for a little bit. I swear, that kid throws up more than anybody I've ever known."

"I don't know. I watched you puke your guts out when you were drunk. It wasn't a pretty sight."

Paul smiled at that. "Yeah, I think Jared would agree with you. I can't hold my booze, and Travis can't hold his ice cream. We're quite a pair, huh?"

Leah nodded then just stood there as another awkward silence stretched out between them until the phone rang. Paul answered it then covered the phone and called out, "Tyler! Phone!" Looking at Leah, he said with a grin, "It's Cristy. Watch this."

Tyler walked into the kitchen and Paul handed him the phone. "Hello? Oh, hi." Leah smiled at the way Tyler's voice softened when he found out it was Cristy. "No, I can talk. I'm just hanging out. What are you doing?" Tyler asked as he walked out of the room for more privacy.

"Isn't it cute how his voice gets all sweet when he talks to her? Makes me want to gag," Paul said.

"Oh stop it. You were probably the same way in the 7th grade."

"Me? Hell no. I was always smooth with the ladies."

Leah burst out laughing. "Yeah right! I remember Jared telling me about the time you all played Spin the Bottle at some party and you kissed one girl and told Jared you had to go home."

"I did! Grandma gave me a curfew and I didn't want to be late," Paul insisted.

"Uh-huh."

"Believe me, I have never been scared to kiss a girl. Ever!"

"Really? Prove it," Leah said boldly.

It shocked Paul into complete silence. As he stared at her, he wondered if she really meant it or if she was joking. But as Leah stood there staring at him, just daring him to do it, Paul found himself stepping over in front of her to take her by the shoulders and lean in to kiss her, stopping just before their lips touched. Leah's breathing picked up and Paul felt her shudder in anticipation. Closing the gap, he put his lips on hers then was amazed as he felt that fire run through him that he only got when he kissed Leah. No pain . . . just pure bliss. A sigh escaped from her into his mouth as his tongue moved inside to explore gently. Then, too soon, Paul pulled away.

Leah felt her breath taken away as he broke the kiss. She looked into his eyes and knew she could stand here and kiss him forever. _But not now. The timing wasn't right._ Closing her eyes, she muttered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," before she turned away from him to look out the door into the back yard.

"Why?" Paul asked simply.

"I have to leave again, Paul." Turning to face him, Leah explained, "I'm leaving day after tomorrow to go backpacking for a couple of days in the mountains with some friends then I start my summer classes. I don't get a break again until August. How can we do this and be so far apart?"

Paul just shrugged and said nothing. What could he say? He walked to the fridge and took out a can of Mt. Dew. "Want one?" he offered.

"That's it? You have nothing else to say?"

"What the hell do you want me to say, Leah?" Paul snapped back. "Beg? Is that what you want? Would that really work with you?"

Leah sighed and shook her head. "Of course not. I just expected you to . . . oh, I don't know what I expected."

"I don't either. I never know with you. You are confusing the hell out of me," Paul admitted in frustration. Stepping in front of her, he looked down to say, "Leah . . ."

Then Tyler walked back into the kitchen to put the phone back on the charger and Paul stepped back.

"So, how's Cristy?" Paul asked him.

Ty shot him a look then said, "Fine," before opening the fridge to take out a can of pop. He turned to go then stopped in front of Leah and asked, "Um, Cristy's birthday is next week and I want to get her something. What should I get her? I only have like $10."

"Well, girls her age like jewelry, but that might be tough with only $10," Leah started. "Um, what about making her something? Bracelets are always good. Or maybe a dream catcher? I think she would really like something like that."

Tyler smiled. "Yeah, I could do that." Then his smile faded. "But Emily is gone on her honeymoon and I don't know how to make one."

"Well, you happen to know the other dream catcher expert in town."

Tyler turned to look at Paul. "Seriously? _You_ know how to make a dream catcher?"

"I made the one for Travis and it turned out cool."

"Yeah, and I got one for Christmas. It is pretty awesome," Leah added with a soft smile at Paul.

"Well, if you're sure you know how, I guess I would like to do that."

"OK. We'll go get the stuff tomorrow," Paul told him.

Tyler nodded and turned to Leah. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Tyler smiled at her then walked into the other room. Leah looked over at Paul and said softly, "I better go."

Paul just nodded and followed her to the door. She turned to him and said, "I'll make sure I see the boys tomorrow to say goodbye."

"They would appreciate that."

"Paul, I . . . " she stopped and closed her eyes for a few seconds trying to find the words she wanted. She opened them again to find him staring at her. "I hate this. I don't know how to fix it."

"When you figure it out, give me a call," Paul told her quietly. "I'll be here."

Leah smiled and touched Paul's cheek for a brief second before she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips, lingering just a moment then she opened the door and walked outside to her car. Paul stood there and watched her get in and drive away then he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the glass for a moment as he felt completely frustrated with his cursed life. 

Paul tossed and turned that night and finally gave up trying to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Leah and how she looked under him and he was so hard for her, it was killing him. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was only a little after three, so he sighed and got out of bed to shuffle to the kitchen to get a drink of water. As he leaned back against the counter and drank his water, he remembered standing here just a few short hours ago, kissing Leah. . . _how her lips tasted, how it felt to stroke her tongue with his . . ._ he was glad he was holding a plastic cup or he was sure he would have to clean up broken glass.

Dropping the cup into the sink, Paul walked over to the back door and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He hated to leave the boys here alone, but he really needed to run. Finally Paul grabbed his new cell phone and shoved it deep into his pocket then pulled his shorts off and secured them to his ankle. Opening the door as quietly as he could, he jogged a few feet from the house to phase.

Paul ran through the woods as fast as he could fly, trying to keep his thoughts to himself as best he could. He detected Embry and Quil out on patrol and he didn't want to put his misery on them.

_"Paul? You OK?" _Quil inquired.

_"Just can't sleep. Too much on my mind. I'm trying my best to run it off."_

_"Gotcha. We'll try to tune you out."_

_"Thanks." _He ran a few laps of the rez and finally slowed to a trot and then a walk. Somehow he knew he would end up here even before he started his run. He sat back on his haunches on the cliff top and looked out over the water. There was a hazy moon hanging in the sky and too soon, the clouds rolled over it to hide it.

"Funny meeting you here," Paul heard behind him. Turning his head, Paul saw Leah standing there, in human form, dressed in a pair of shorts and the same baggy t-shirt she had been wearing earlier. "I couldn't sleep either, but I wanted to just walk through the woods instead of going wolf. More used to being a human now."

Paul nodded his huge head. He was paralyzed wanting so badly to phase back, yet knowing if he did, he couldn't trust himself not to touch her.

"It's OK. I get it. I'll leave you alone." She turned to go and he quickly phased and called out, "No, stay."

Leah turned back and quickly caught her breath. It had been too long since she had seen Paul like this, standing there, in all his naked glory, nothing hidden from her. It was more than she could take. "Paul," she breathed, her voice filled with emotion. _Run, Leah! Run away, now,_ she told herself, but she couldn't. Her feet were frozen to this spot.

Paul walked toward her slowly and stopped just in front of her. "Leah?" he asked softly. He waited for any indication that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Her body was shaking and he knew she wasn't cold. His hand slid slowly down her arm as she closed her eyes with a hiss. Still he waited. Taking her hand, Paul brought it to his lips, kissing her palm. Leah sighed as he kissed his way slowly up her arm. "Leah?" he asked again softly, but with more urgency.

Leah finally opened her eyes and looked at him with so much love it almost knocked him over. That was all he needed. Pulling her to him, Paul crushed his lips onto hers with a groan. Leah locked her arms around his neck and held him there as their tongues tangled. She moaned as his hands ran over her hips and around to her ass and up her back under her shirt. Her hands slid from his neck over his shoulders and onto his muscular chest. God, she had missed touching him.

Paul couldn't get enough of her, her lips tasted so good, so sweet. Better than he remembered. His hands itched to touch her, all of her. He began inching her shirt up to pull it off which startled Leah out of her love-drunk stupor. "Stop," she said as she backed away. "This isn't a good idea, Paul. I don't want to cause you any more pain, and I have to leave again and I won't be back until who knows when . . ."

Paul put his hand gently on her mouth to make her stop talking. "Leah, I know you want this as badly as I do. I don't care if you're leaving again. I don't care when you'll be back. All I care about is that you are here, right now. Please? Please let me . . ."

Leah was shaking her head, "I can't. I can't, Paul." Then she turned and ran as fast as she could away from him. As she raced through the woods she knew as much as it was killing her, it was the right thing to do. It wasn't the right time. She couldn't leave school . . . she had to find a way to do what she had to do. Alone.

Paul watched her run. "LEAH!" he called after her. "LEAH COME BACK!" But she didn't. She kept running . . . as fast as she could . . . away from him. "DAMNIT!"

Paul sunk to his knees in disbelief and confusion. _That woman makes me so fucking crazy!_ He had no idea what had just happened or why. He knew Leah wanted him. She was fighting it as hard as she could. _But why? It made no fucking sense! _Sitting down on the ground, then flopping onto his back, Paul huffed as he look up into the canopy of trees. _Life wasn't supposed to be like this. You were supposed to grow up, find a job, fall in love, get married, have kids . . . why wasn't that the case with him?_

After awhile, he quit his commiserating and sat up and decided to drag his ass back home to try again to get some sleep. _Fuck this. _He had to work in the morning, and this was the boy's last week of school. He would do everything he could to throw himself back into his routine and forget about this whole horrible weekend. 

Leah had kept her word and went to see the boys after school before Paul got home. She played a game of checkers with Travis then helped both of them with homework while she baked them some cookies. She had thrown together a lasagna at home for them and brought it with her. As Leah slid it in the oven, she told Tyler what time to take it out.

"OK, guys, I have to go. My mom and brother want me to have dinner with them tonight then I leave first thing in the morning."

Travis pouted. "I don't want you to leave. I hate it when you're gone."

Leah walked over and squatted down in front of his chair. "I hate it, too, Trav. But I have to finish school. I only have one more year then I'll be done. Then I'll move back here and we can see each other all the time, OK?"

Travis nodded as his lip quivered and he tried not to cry. Leah pulled him close and held onto him. She felt the very same way . . . it was so hard to let him go. Finally she stood up and walked over to Tyler who stood up to hug her. "Good luck with Cristy's gift. Write and tell me if she liked it."

"I will." Leah pulled away and Tyler said he would walk her out. They walked to the door and Tyler stepped out with her and closed it behind him. "Leah? I don't know what's going on with you and Paul, but I hope you know how much he loves you. He's miserable when you're not here. Is there any way you guys can be together?"

Leah smiled at Tyler, loving how much he cared for his brother. "It's just not the right time. I have another year of school. I can't quit, Ty. I promised the Tribal Council. And Paul can't leave here, so there is no way for us to be together. I hate it, too."

"Do you love him?" Leah just nodded and then Tyler smiled. "Then you will find a way to be with him. Maybe when you are done with school?"

"Maybe. But I can't make him wait for me. It isn't fair."

"I have a feeling he would wait forever. He never even looks at other girls. Ever."

Leah smiled and hugged Tyler again. "Thanks, Ty. I'm glad Paul has you to look out for him."

Tyler chuckled as he replied, "Yeah, really. Someone has to."

Leah left him standing there and drove away, tears rolling down her cheeks. _Be strong, Leah. Be strong._


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

DEVIL IN HER HEART

Once summer came and the boys were out of school, Paul hated to leave them home alone all day. He knew that Tyler was completely capable of handling everything, but he didn't want them to get bored and try to kill each other. So, Paul arranged for Travis to have a couple of days a week with Emily, who would invite Claire over so they could play together, and one day a week at Carly's house, and that way, Tyler had a couple of days a week to hang out with his friends.

It worked for the first month or so then Travis started getting on Tyler's nerves. He was short with him and as soon as Paul got home, Tyler was looking for an escape. He would rush out of the house to go to Collin's and leave him with a clingy, whiny Travis for the rest of the night. Paul had no idea how they would make it through the rest of the summer without all three of them killing each other.

Paul's birthday came, and he told the boys he didn't want to celebrate it this year. It was too hard to top last year which was the best he ever had. Travis pouted because he wanted to make him a cake. "Fine, make me a cake, but no presents! I mean it." He told Tyler later he meant that and not to go ahead and buy any. "I don't want to celebrate this year, Ty. It's too hard."

Tyler nodded, knowing without Grandma and Leah here, Paul was having a hard time. He worked all the time, and when he was home, he was quiet and moody. Tyler hated it. He told Paul that Travis got on his nerves and he needed to get out, but most of the time it was because of Paul. He missed his big brother and wished he knew some way to fix everything so they all could be happy, but he knew only Leah could do that.

Emily came over and helped Travis bake Paul's birthday cake and they ordered pizza for dinner like they had for Tyler. They ate their pizza, and when it came time for cake, they didn't put any candles on it or sing. Paul cut a big piece for everyone and told Travis that it was as good as Grandma's, which made him smile. After they ate, Travis said, "I know you didn't want any presents, but I made you a card. Can I still give it to you?"

Paul smiled. "Yeah, buddy. I'd like that." Travis went running to his room to get it and Tyler slipped a card onto the table. Paul looked down and recognized Leah's handwriting then closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. He wondered if she would send something. "Can you put that away for right now, Ty?" Tyler nodded and put it on the counter then sat down.

Travis ran back in and presented his card to Paul, which as always, made him smile. Travis had drawn a picture of them looking at the boats like they did in Port Angeles that day they went there with Leah. Paul noticed that Leah was in the picture, too. Hugging Travis to him, Paul whispered, "Thanks, buddy. I love you."

Travis squeezed him back as hard as could then whispered, "I love you, too."

Tyler gave him a funny card and they had a laugh over it then they ate more cake. When they finished, Travis ran off to play as Tyler insisted on cleaning up the kitchen. So, Paul took Leah's card from the counter and walked out the back door to sit down and read it in private. He stared at the envelope for a long time fighting with himself. His logical side told him to throw it away unopened. But his fucking emotional side was screaming at him to rip it open and read it.

Of course, the logical side lost . . . as always. Paul ripped open the envelope and took out the card then broke out into a smile as he saw it was a Far Side cartoon. He remembered the day last summer when he and Leah went to the drug store to pick out a birthday card for Sue and he told her how he loved the Far Side cartoons because they were so bizarre. This one had a picture of two farmers sitting at a strip club, watching a cow who was standing on her hind legs rubbing her udders against the pole. The one farmer is saying to the other, "Do you think those are real?" He laughed out loud as he read it and then shook his head. Leave it to Leah to know his sense of humor.

He opened the card and read:

_Dear Paul,_

_Sorry, I couldn't resist. This card is SO you! I hope you have a good day._

_I miss you,_

_Love, Leah_

_I miss you. Yeah, right. _Paul slipped the card back into the envelope and sat there trying so hard not to think about last year's birthday. His grandma had been here to make his favorite meal, getting gifts from his brothers, and then being with Leah . . . alone, all night. _God, he missed kissing her, running his fingers through her silky hair, touching her and making her moan and cry out . . ._ he knew no one would ever make him feel the way he did when he was with Leah.

Paul had run into Sheila one day in town and she had very clearly let him know that she was available anytime he wanted to get together. He thought long and hard about it. It had been 6 long months without sex, which was a pretty impressive streak for Paul. It was so tempting to bury himself balls deep into Shelia to drive Leah from his mind that he actually gave in, made the date and when she showed up and ran her tongue down his throat and grabbed his crotch, he knew he had made a big mistake. Paul sent her away, which wasn't easy, and then wished again he was old enough to buy some booze and get hammered. Living without Leah would be easier if he could escape the pain for just a little while.

Paul finally made his way back into the house and added the card to the box he now kept in his closet that held all of the other things he had received from Leah. He put the box back on the shelf and closed the door. If only he could do that with his heart. 

It was a hot Sunday afternoon in early August. The boys were gone and Paul was mowing the lawn when a car he didn't recognize drove up and parked in the driveway. The passenger door opened and his worst nightmare stepped out: _Doreen. _Then a man climbed out of the driver's side and joined her as they walked toward Paul. He was tall, dark-skinned . . . looked like he might be around forty.

"What the hell do you want? I don't have any money," Paul greeted her angrily.

"Hello, Pauly. You always know the sweetest way to greet your mama." She was dressed, as usual, in tight pants, a low-cut top and her ever present high heels, what Paul called hooker casual.

Paul nodded toward the man who was dressed simply in jeans and a blue button down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. "Who are you?"

"You don't recognize your daddy?" Doreen cackled. "Well, I guess it has been quite awhile since he's been out of the joint."

_Daddy? Did she say . . . daddy? _Paul stood there in shock, staring at the man that was his father. As he looked at him he did start to recognize him from his shady memories.

The man stuck out his hand and said, "Hello, Paul."

Paul ignored it and glared back at Doreen as she asked, "Well, aren't you going to invite us in?"

"No."

"Well, I know mama will want to see me. Where are the boys?" she asked as she moved toward the house.

_Shit._ Paul didn't want her to know that Grandma was dead. Thankfully Travis was fishing with Sam and Ty was at Collin's. "Grandma and the boys are out for the afternoon. So, you can just turn around, put your ass back in the car and drive away."

Doreen turned to the man who supposedly was his father and pouted, "Do you see how he treats me, Jimmy? He is so hateful."

Paul snorted. "Are you fucking serious? You know this is an act for your benefit, right?" he pointed out to "Jimmy."

Jim smiled and said to Doreen, "Knock it off, baby. Leave the kid alone. Why don't you get back in the car? I'd like to have a minute alone with my son."

Doreen stomped her foot, threw a glare at Paul then teetered on her heels over the rough driveway back to the car.

Jim turned to Paul. "Sorry about her. I know exactly how she is. I know you got a raw deal, Paul, but I always felt good about you living here with you grandmother. She's one of the best women I ever met. You've done alright living here, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have. Best thing that ever happened to me."

"Good. You close with your cousin, Josh's kid?"

"Sam? Yeah."

Jim nodded. "Look, I just got out of the joint. I'm not sure where I'll settle, but I know there aren't alot of jobs around here, so I thought I might head to Seattle and see if there's something there on the docks. I, uh, I know I haven't been much of a father to you, kid, and I'm sorry about that. I don't have any money right now, but when I get some, I'll try and send some your way. I know it can't be easy for you and your grandmother raising your brothers."

"We're OK. Don't worry about us," Paul told him proudly.

Jim smiled at Paul's pride. "How are your brothers? Are they good boys?"

"Yeah, they are. It's a miracle really, growing up with _her_ for so many years. Especially Tyler." Paul wondered if he knew that Tyler was his kid.

"I was hoping he would be here. I've never even met him." _Oh, so he did know._

"Jimmy! How long you gonna make me sit in this car? It's hotter than hell in here!" Doreen called out.

Jim rolled his eyes and threw over his shoulder, "I'll be there in a minute, woman!" He turned to Paul and said, "She's going to want to come back to see the boys. Can we stop back?"

"No. It took a long time to get them settled in here. I don't want them upset again. Travis used to cry every night and Ty . . . well, I don't even want to talk about what happened to Ty before he got here. Just know that I hate that woman and I don't ever want her to come back here again."

Jim nodded and then Paul caught sight of Tyler walking out of the woods. _Shit! _He moved to shout to him to run the other way, but it was too late. Doreen jumped out of the car and hollered out, "Tyler, baby! Oh look at my baby boy!" Tyler froze like a deer in the headlights as his mother ran toward him as fast as she could in heels. When she reached him she pulled him to her and hugged him and gushed over how tall he was.

Paul ran quickly to stand beside Ty and order, "Let him go."

Doreen stepped back and glared at Paul. "Tyler is my son, Paul. You just back off."

"It's OK, Paul," Tyler said quietly. "How are you, Mom?"

"Oh, you know. Same as always. Where's your little brother?"

"He's fishing with Sam. He loves fishing."

Doreen laughed harshly. "I always hated it when my dad tried to drag me off to go fishing. It's filthy and disgusting." Tyler just shrugged as she said, "Well, let's go inside and talk. I've missed you so much."

Paul looked over at his dad, Jim, and hoped he would get the message that he didn't want her inside, but it was too late; Doreen was dragging Tyler to the door and already had it open. Jim looked at him and said, "We won't stay long, I promise."

Paul sighed and turned to walk inside with Jim right behind him. Doreen and Tyler were in the living room and Doreen sat down in Ruth's chair. "My, this place is a little run down. Mama is getting a little sloppy in her old age." There was some clutter lying around and the furniture was a little dusty as Kim hadn't been over yet to do her bi-weekly cleaning.

Tyler looked quickly at Paul. He realized that Doreen didn't know that her mother was dead. He gave Ty a look that told him to keep his mouth shut as he moved to stand so Doreen couldn't see into Ruth's, now his, open room. His bed wasn't made and that would be a dead give-away that it wasn't his grandma's room anymore. "Yeah, she's slowing down a little, but she still gets around," Paul said.

Doreen turned to Tyler and asked him about school and his friends. Paul noticed how Jim hung on every one of Tyler's answers. It confused him a little. Jim seemed really interested in both him and Tyler. Paul was determined to keep Jim in the same category as Doreen. He didn't want to find anything about him to like.

Tyler was very uncomfortable and Paul realized the no one had told him who this strange man with Doreen was. But then he guessed Tyler was used to seeing his mother with strange men.

Paul cleared his throat and said, "Tyler, the man sitting next to you is Jim Uley. Your father."

Tyler's eyes grew wide as he turned and looked at him. "You're . . . you're my dad?"

"Yes, Tyler, I am. I asked Doreen to bring me here to see Paul, and to meet you," Jim answered.

"Oh," was all Tyler could say.

"I know it's kind of a shock. Are you OK?"

Tyler looked up to Paul for guidance. Paul nodded and said, "Ask him anything you want, Ty. This maybe the only time you ever see him." He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at his father, daring him to squirm.

Jim smiled then looked at Tyler. "Your brother and I don't exactly have a warm and fuzzy relationship. See, when he was 5, I went to jail for dealing drugs. You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but it took a couple more trips for me to get the message. I just got out."

Tyler nodded. "Yeah, I get it. Don't do drugs."

Doreen laughed at that. "Well, at least we taught him something, Jimmy!" Paul just rolled his eyes. Just the hearing her voice grated on his every nerve.

"Look, Tyler, I know I'm not the dad you expected or wanted, but I'm the only one you got. And I told your brother, I'm heading to Seattle to find a job, and when I get some money, I want to send you some. I got a lot of years to make up for. How old are you now?"

"Twelve," Tyler answered.

"Twelve? Man, you're tall for twelve."

"Are you Travis' father, too?" Tyler asked.

"No, I'm sorry to say I'm not." Doreen snorted at that and Jim shot her a look.

"When is my little Travy gonna be back?" Doreen asked.

"Not till later tonight. Emily always cooks their catch for them when they get home. You'll be gone by then," Paul said sternly.

Doreen stood up and got in Paul's face. "Look here, Pauly, I'm sick and tired of you talking back to me and telling me when I can see my own fucking kids! Travis is MINE not yours!"

"Oh that's sweet, Doreen. I seem to recall you dumping him here over a year ago and not calling once to see if he was alive or dead. He's had a birthday and Christmas came and went, and not one word from you, so right now, I'd say he's a lot more mine than yours. And I swear to God, I will do everything in my power to protect him and make sure he never sees you again. Tyler, too. You have no idea how hard it is right now to hold myself back and not rip you apart for what you put Tyler through."

Doreen whipped her head toward Tyler and hissed, "What lies have you been telling him?"

Paul could see Tyler shrink back into the futon and before he could make a move, Jim stood up and put himself between Doreen and Tyler. "Alright, Doreen, that's enough." _Hmm,_ Paul thought. _His dad just moved up a notch in his book. _

Tyler got up and moved over to stand beside Paul, who put his arm around Ty's shoulders. "I like it here with Paul. He takes care of us and loves us. He told me that he would always protect me and never let anyone ever hurt me again and I believe him. He even bought me a PlayStation for my birthday to make up for all the presents _you_ never bought me!"

As soon as heard Tyler mention the PlayStation, Paul panicked. _Oh no. Shit. She's going to wonder where I got the money for a gift like that._

Doreen turned to Paul and slyly said, "Really? Aren't those expensive, Pauly? How did you afford such a big present like that?"

_Think of a lie, think of a lie . . . _"A friend of mine had it and didn't want it anymore, so he sold it to me for fifty bucks. Thanks for ruining that for him," he said.

Doreen's eyes narrowed into slits as she started to look around. She noticed how Paul had taken a stand in front of the hall that led to her mother's room. _Why didn't he want her to look in there? What was he hiding? _"When did you say Mama would be home?" she asked Paul.

"I didn't."

"Well, I came to borrow something from her and I know where it is, so I'll just go and get it and we'll be on our way," Doreen said as she tried to slide by Paul. He quickly moved in front of her to block her path. "I knew it! You're hiding something back there you don't want me to see. What's going on here, Paul. You better tell me right now."

Tyler panicked and tried to escape to his bedroom when Doreen shot out and grabbed his arm. "Oh no you don't. You know, don't you, you little traitor?" She shook him hard as she raised her hand to slap him and demanded, "Tell me, or I swear I'll . . . "

Paul moved to grab Doreen away from him, but Jim beat him to it and then he heard Ty cry out, "She's dead, OK? She's dead! Grandma's dead!" Ty was crying now as he slid to the floor when Doreen let him go. Paul quickly picked him up and told him to go to his room and close the door.

Tyler did as Paul told him and then Paul turned on Doreen. "Get out of here, you bitch, and don't you ever come back. Do you hear me?" he roared.

Doreen just stood there for a moment as the news sunk in. Her mother had died and no one called her to tell her. Looking up into Paul's angry face, she hissed, "How dare you? My mother died and you didn't have the decency to call me and let me know? When? When did she die?"

"January. I figured you were drugged out in LA like you usually are that time of year."

Doreen's hand whipped across Paul's face in a wicked slap. Thankfully, he was a werewolf and he barely felt it. "Don't you do that. She was my mother. I had a right to know."

"A right? You had a right?" Paul growled in anger. "You gave up every right you ever had to anyone in this family when you took off. Drugs have always been more important to you than any of us ever were. Grandma cried and cried over you, always wishing you would come home and be different. I cried every night for months when you left me here and ran after your precious drugs. You put Tyler through hell using any money you got for drugs instead of food to feed him and Travis. You brought home all kinds of scum just to get money for sex in front of your kids! And then to let them abuse your own children . . . " Paul was shaking so violently he was afraid he would phase and rip her apart. He tried to calm himself as he hissed out, "You have no fucking rights in this house, Doreen. None."

Doreen stared at Paul as he ranted. She had never seen him so angry and it actually scared her. "I loved her. I loved all of you, but I . . . I just don't know how . . . " tears rolled down her cheeks and it sickened Paul.

"Just get out. Get out and don't come back."

Then just as quickly as she turned on the tears, they were gone and she asked, "What about a will? Mama had a will, didn't she? Is that why you didn't tell me? Are you keeping all this for yourself and not sharing?"

"Doreen, enough," Jim said sternly.

"No, I know this boy, Jimmy. He's stealing what's mine."

"Now you want to rip away the only home I've ever known?" Paul was walking slowly toward her with a look of such violence in his eyes that Doreen started shaking and backing away. "You would throw me and the boys out on the street just to get your hands on this house to sell it and then run straight to your dealer, wouldn't you?" Doreen was still backing away, now shaking her head slowly back and forth. Paul pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, and without looking at it, pulled out the money that was in it and threw it at her. "There you go, you bitch. That's all you know, money and drugs. Take it. TAKE IT! TAKE IT AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! NOW!"

Doreen watched the bills flutter to the ground and started to stoop to pick them up when Jim stopped her by taking her arm and pulling her to the door. "This isn't over, Pauly. I will get what's mine!" she shrieked at him.

Jim shoved her outside, "For God's sake, woman, just shut your mouth! Get your ass in the car!"

Doreen huffed and stomped her way to the car as Jim turned to Paul who had finally stopped shaking. "I'm sorry, son. I know you hate her and you have every right. I had no idea what Tyler had to live through and maybe I don't really want to know. I guess she's got it worse than I ever thought she did. Maybe I can get her some help, you know? Get her off this stuff for good."

"Good luck with that," Paul sneered. "If she couldn't do it for her mom or her kids, you think she'll do it for you?"

Jim sighed and shook his head. "I don't know. Listen, I know you have no reason to trust me, but . . . I have changed. I don't do that anymore, nor do I have any desire to. I want to be a good man, and I want to live up to my responsibilities. Would you give me your phone number so I can stay in touch? I promise I won't share it with Doreen."

Paul stood there, trying to decide whether to trust him or not. Finally he nodded and quickly wrote down his phone number then handed it to him. "Thanks, Paul. This means a lot to me. I won't let you down." He held out his hand and Paul hesitated then finally shook it. "I can see you're doing a fine job with Tyler. I can't thank you enough for that. I hope I can see him again sometime, but I'll leave that up to you and to him."

Paul nodded. "I appreciate that."

"OK, I better get her out of here. You take care." Jim turned and walked out to the car.

Paul watched him get inside and drive away then finally let out a sigh of relief as he leaned against the door and tried to get a hold of himself. _How in the hell did that woman come from someone as sweet and kind as his grandmother? _Paul stood there for a few minutes until he was sure he was under control then he turned and walked over to Tyler's room.

Opening the door slowly, Paul found Tyler sitting on the bed, furiously writing in his journal. "Hey, Ty. You alright?"

Tyler looked up at him and quickly wiped the tears from his face as Paul sat down beside him on the bed and said, "It's OK, bro. Let it out." Tyler leaned into him then and sobbed out all of his hurt and confusion. Paul leaned back against the headboard to hold him and let out a few tears himself. He prayed that would be last time he ever had to face that woman, but knowing the way his life went, he doubted it would be.

Tyler finally sat up and wiped his face asking, "That was really our dad?"

"Yeah, Ty. I didn't know him at first, but then flashes of memory came back to me. I think it was his voice I recognized."

"Is he . . . is he like _her_?"

Paul had to smile a little at that. "I don't know. He told me before he left that he's changed and he doesn't do drugs anymore. I guess spending that much time in prison can cure you."

Tyler just shrugged. "I don't know anything about him. How do I know if I can trust him?"

"You don't, Ty, and neither do I. I guess I've decided to proceed with caution, you know? He said he would like to see you again, but he would leave that up to you and me."

"Yeah, I don't know about that."

"Yeah, me either. I know if I did, he would have to come alone."

Tyler looked at Paul and said, "I heard you yell at her. I heard the stuff you said to her. You were really mad. You hate her, don't you?"

Letting out a sigh, Paul admitted, "Yeah, I do. I know you're not supposed to hate your mom, but I can't help it. She has never done a good thing in her life for anyone. Look at how she's treated all of us, especially you. I'm sorry, Ty, but I will never give her another chance to be my mother. She's dead to me."

"Will she really try and take our house? Can she do that?"

Paul smiled. "Nope. No worries there. Grandma left a will that states she wanted me to have it. The house is in my name and she would have to hire a lawyer to try and do anything about it. You know she doesn't have the money to do that. Besides, what judge would take a house away from three good guys like us only to give it to a drug addict? No, I'm not worried."

They sat there in the quiet for awhile then Paul said, "Look, I need to finish mowing the lawn. How about when I'm done, we drive to Forks for cheeseburgers and pie at the diner? Just you and me?"

Tyler smiled. "Yeah, OK. That's cool."

"Good." Paul dropped a kiss on Ty's head, even though Ty thought he was too old for that stuff, then got up and walked back outside to start the lawn mower. He was a little freaked out at how close he had come to phasing right there in front of his parents. Paul pulled the starter rope on the lawn mower and smiled as he decided he would have liked to see the look on Doreen's face as she stared into a giant wolf's snarling teeth. _Maybe next time . . ._


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

LITTLE CHILD

Leah didn't go home for her two-week summer break in August. Instead, she stayed and moved into a new dorm room, this time with no roommate. She needed the extra space and she was lucky one was available and that her student aid covered it. Her mom and brother made the trip to help her move and spend some time with her before classes started.

"Put that down! You know you're not supposed to be doing any heavy lifting! Do you want to have that baby right here on the sidewalk," Sue scolded.

Leah rolled her eyes and thought again how she wished she hadn't shared her little secret with her mother and Seth. Sue had done nothing but lecture her since she got here, while Seth on the other hand had said barely two words.

"The doctor says I have another 6 to 7 weeks till the baby is due, Mom," Leah said as she set the box back down on the sidewalk.

"Yes, and you need to keep it that way. You let your brother carry things, and you put them away where you want them."

Sighing, Leah did as her mother said and walked back into her room to unload a box. She had realized in April that she was pregnant. She had suspected in late March when she started puking every morning, but the stomach flu had been going around so she just attributed it to that. As it hung around, Leah finally realized right before her birthday, it might be morning sickness. Since she didn't have periods, it wasn't something she even thought about until she started counting back to January and to those nights she spent with Paul then she ran out and bought not one but four pregnancy tests and peed on all of them. She was shocked when they all turned out positive!_ How could she be pregnant?_ _She was a wolf . . . she thought she couldn't have kids. But she had stopped phasing when she went to school last August, and . . . maybe that was it. Had she given up her wolf?_

A trip to the campus doctor confirmed it and when she was home in May, she tried hard to cover her small baby bump. She didn't want anyone to know at that point, especially Paul. That night on the cliff top, she had wanted him so badly, but as soon as he started to pull her shirt off, she panicked. She didn't want him to see or to feel that she was pregnant. It wasn't fair to him she realized, but she was so confused about everything, and she wanted to be sure she knew what SHE wanted to do and not be swayed by anyone else trying to make the decision for her.

The only sure thing Leah knew was how much she wanted this baby. It was a miracle to her that she had become pregnant and that's how she thought about this baby - it was her little miracle baby. And now, here she was almost 8 months pregnant, stubbornly determined to stay in school and finish her nursing degree. That was HER decision.

"That's the last box," Seth mumbled as he set it down on the hardwood floor and plopped down on her bare mattress. "Do you have anything to drink?"

"Just water. There's a cup by the sink." Seth nodded and got up to go into the bathroom.

Leah had a small fridge and a microwave but they weren't plugged in yet. She had saved some money from her job at the cafeteria and purchased them used from a student who was graduating. She also bought a small, portable crib for the baby because she wouldn't have room for a large one.

"How are you going to do this, Leah?" Sue asked for what seemed like the hundredth time to Leah. "What are going to do with the baby when you go to class? How are you going to buy diapers and . . ."

"Look, Mom, I hate to tell you this, but I am not the first girl to have a baby here at college. I talked to my advisor and she told me that I can take the first four weeks off and stay with the baby. My professors will email me the work and I can meet with them once a week to go over it and take any tests. Once the baby is bigger, there is a child care center right here on campus where I can leave the baby while I go to class and work. I can apply for aid to help pay for it. I know it's not the ideal situation, but it's the only option I have right now."

Scowling, Sue replied, "No, you have other options. You can come home and live with me and I can help you with the baby."

"There is no college around La Push that can help me complete my degree. You know that."

"So screw the degree, Leah. This baby is more important than a degree!"

"I know that! Don't you think I know that? But I made a promise, a commitment to the council to do this and I will finish it. Now I'm sorry if you don't approve, but I am doing the best I can here!" Leah shouted.

"No, you're not, Leah. You are being completely selfish and I am so disappointed in you," Sue shot back.

"Disappointed? So now you're going to throw guilt at me?"

Seth piped up with, "Can you two take a break? My ears are ringing from all the yelling."

Leah sighed and eased her big belly down onto a chair as Sue sat down on the mattress and looked tenderly at Leah. "Why won't you tell him, Leah? He's partially responsible for this baby, too, you know. You need him right now."

"Mother, what good would that do? He has enough on his plate right now, working and raising the boys. It's not like he can drop everything and move to Spokane."

"Give him a chance! You don't know what he would do. That boy is still crazy in love with you, Leah. I think he would move to the moon if you asked him to."

Seth surprised her by saying, "You know he's not my favorite person, but he does have a right to know."

Leah rubbed her forehead and wished again that she had not called her mom for help. "I'll think about it, OK? I know he has a right to know. Can we just get this stuff put away now?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry," Seth complained. Leah shook her head at him. "What? I'm a growing werewolf. It's been like three hours since I ate!"

Leah finally laughed for the first time that day. "I know." She rubbed her baby belly and said, "We're hungry, too. Let's get to work and then we'll get something to eat." 

Three days later, Sue and Seth left for home, but not before Sue told her she would back by Leah's due date.

"Mom, I'll be fine. You don't have to come all the way out here again."

Sue took her by the shoulders and said, "Look here, daughter. There is no way in hell I will allow you to go all alone to a hospital in a strange city and have this baby by yourself, do you understand me? No matter how brave you think you are, having a baby is a scary thing, and I will not let you go through it alone. Period."

Leah rested her head on Sue's shoulder and allowed her mother to hold her for just a moment. "Thanks, Mom," Leah said softly as she pulled away then added, "And I'm sorry that you think I'm being stubborn about staying here. It's just something I feel I have to try."

"I understand that, I really do. But, honey . . . think about telling Paul. It's not fair to him."

Leah closed her eyes and did everything she could to hold back her anger. "I know. Please don't say anything to him, OK? Let me figure this out for myself." Then she looked at Seth and added, "And that goes for you, too." Seth just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

Then Sue smiled and said, "Alright, give me a kiss goodbye and we'll call when we get home. I'll be back in six weeks."

Leah gave in and smiled then kissed her mom on the cheek. "I give up. You're the most stubborn person I know.

"I don't know about that. Have you looked in a mirror lately?" Sue sent back. Seth snorted and Leah shot him a look. Then she watched them climb into the car and she waved as they drove away as she rubbed her belly and whispered, "She may be stubborn, but she's your grandma. I know you're going to love her as much as I do."

Six weeks later, Sue was back. She had splurged on an airplane ticket this time and a rental car. Leah had a sofa left in her room from the previous occupant, so Sue slept on that. Two days later, Leah's water broke as she was getting out of the shower. "MOM!" Leah called out in a panic and Sue came running. Sue got her dressed, put her in the car and drove way too fast to the hospital.

Since Leah had not phased in over a year, her body temperature had actually come down. It ran around 100 now, so she could go to a regular doctor and not worry about them thinking she was dying. The nurse in the ER sent her straight up to maternity and they had her in bed and hooked to a monitor in record time.

Dr. Walker came in about an hour after they got there and examined her. "Well, you are already at 7 centimeters. Won't be long now," she reported. "I'll be back soon to deliver. Keep up your breathing, you're doing great."

Sue sat with Leah the whole time, feeding her ice chips, holding her hand through each contraction and helping her breathe. Leah was finally getting close to pushing when Sue said, "Leah, Paul should be here. I hate that he's missing this. No one should miss the birth of their first child."

"I know, Mom," Leah said with tears in her eyes. "I've been so fucking stupid! I want him here so bad right now. But he's not . . . oooh, I have to push. I have to push now!"

Sue rang for the nurse who called the doctor who arrived just in time to catch the baby! "It's a boy!" the doctor called out and Leah cried as she heard her son cry for the first time. Leah held him for just a few seconds then the nurse took him away to clean him while the doctor finished with her.

After they were both cleaned up, Sue brought the baby over to Leah. "Here he is, honey. Meet your son." Sue laid the baby into Leah's arms and she looked down in amazement at this boy . . . her perfect little miracle baby.

He was wrapped up tight in a blanket and had a little blue hat on his head. "Oh, Mom, he looks just like Paul." Tears rolled down her face as she again wished with all her heart he was here with her. She should have told him. She hated herself now so much for keeping it from him. _What was I thinking?_

"Yes, he does," Sue agreed, tears rolling down her own cheeks. "The doctor says he weighs 8 pounds and 4 ounces and he's perfectly healthy."

Leah couldn't take her eyes off of him. Sue asked, "Have you thought of a name?"

"I have. I want to name him Noah, after your father, who was such a cool grandpa to me, and Paul, well, after his dad.

Sue smiled. "I like that. But what about his last name?"

Leah thought about that as she looked down at Noah. She had planned on Clearwater, but now, gazing into his precious little eyes that looked so much like Paul's, it just didn't seem right. "You know that Paul's real last name is Uley?" Sue nodded. She knew the connection Paul had to Sam and that was where the wolf gene came from. "But Paul uses Jacobs because he wanted his last name to be the same as his grandmother." Leah looked down at little Noah and smiled. "Noah Paul Jacobs. I think it suits you."

Two days later, Sue took Leah and Noah home from the hospital and settled them into their dorm room. She let Leah get as much sleep as she could because she knew for the next few months, sleep would be something she would miss greatly.

Sue spent the next few days teaching Leah how to care for her newborn baby. They bonded as only a mother and daughter can over a grandchild. Leah found herself being very thankful that her mom had come back to be here with her.

But, after five days, Sue had to return home. It was so hard for her to leave her daughter and new grandson. Sue was holding Noah close as she dropped a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I am going to miss you so much, little one." Smiling at him, Sue finally handed him over to Leah. "You'll be alright, honey. And you can call me, you know, when you have a question," Sue reminded her as she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.

Leah sniffed and nodded. She was having trouble holding back her own tears. "I know, Mom. I'm sure I'll have a lot."

"You will. I know I probably drove your grandma crazy that whole first month after you were born." She and Leah both laughed softly. "I have to go. I don't want to miss my flight." Leah nodded and walked her to the door. "I can't wait to see what trouble your brother has gotten into while I was gone."

Leah rolled her eyes at that. "Please. Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes? I'm the problem child, remember?"

Sue laughed then laid her hand against Leah's cheek. "Yes, you are. But I wouldn't want you any other way. I love you, Leah." Sue drew Leah and Noah to her one last time, then wiped her tears and walked out the door. Leah leaned against it after she left and cried. _Am I crazy? How on earth am I going to take care of this baby all by myself?_

That night, while Noah was finally sleeping, Leah thought about Paul. _This is so unfair to him._ She hated that he had missed the birth of his son. How could she ever make that up to him? Picking up the picture of Paul and boys that she still kept by her bedside, Leah looked at it and ran her finger lightly over Paul's face then said softly, "I am so sorry, Paul. I hope someday you will forgive me because I know when you find out, you will hate me." 

The first four weeks went by very quickly and Leah realized it wasn't easy taking care of a newborn and doing homework and studying for tests. She was an exhausted mess! Luckily, one day in the laundry room, she met another girl in her dorm with beautiful curly red hair named Jenny who had a 6 month old baby girl named Molly. They quickly became friends as Jenny gave her advice and answered those questions she was sure were really stupid. Jenny watched Noah for her once in awhile so she could at least shower and get out of her pajamas for which Leah was very grateful.

Leah decided quickly the second week of Noah's life that her long hair would have to go. It just took too long to wash and dry and Noah was always getting lost in it. So, she had it cut and now it was just past her chin. She also had some bangs that swept across her forehead and she actually kind of liked the change.

Leah had invited Jenny and Molly over for the evening and they were eating pizza on the floor while Molly played and Noah slept.

"How did you do it? I know I'm going to be worried sick the whole time I'm there," Leah told Jenny. Leah would be taking Noah to day care for the first time tomorrow for three hours while she went to her class since she had the baby, and she was a wreck worrying over it.

Jenny smiled as she answered, "Yes, you will. But it will get a little easier each time. And he will be fine. They have plenty of good people there to make sure he's taken care of."

Leah sighed and looked at Noah. "I know. I just feel so incredibly guilty."

"Get used to it. You're a mom now. You'll always feel guilty about something for the rest of your life!" Jenny told her with a laugh. "At least that's what my mom told me."

"Yes, but, I can't get over the fact that I'm keeping him from his father," Leah admitted. Leah had broken down and told Jenny everything about her and Paul. Well, not everything. She had to fudge the story a little because she wouldn't understand the imprinting, but she tried to make it as factual as she could.

"You know, you've got me stumped on that one, Leah. You know, I messed up and fooled around with a dirtbag who didn't want anything to do with me once he found out I was pregnant. But you . . . you have this awesome guy who is madly in love with you, and you won't tell him you have a son together?" Jenny sighed and took a drink of her iced tea. "That's just crazy, Leah."

"I know it. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing by staying here and finishing school. And I knew if I told Paul he would insist that I move back to La Push and forget about nursing. But now that Noah is here and he looks exactly like his father, I have to look into those eyes everyday and wonder what the hell I'm doing."

"So tell him. He's only a month old. It's better to tell him now than when Noah's the one graduating from college."

Leah gave her a short laugh. "Yeah, I guess."

"What's the worse that could happen? He insists on marrying you? You live happily ever after? Man, I wish I had it so rough."

Leah actually chuckled at that. "Well, you don't know Paul. He can be a little scary when he wants to be. But . . . I wouldn't mind being married to him. I've thought about it a lot. I just hope when he does find out, he still . . . well, he'll still want to marry me."

Jenny smiled and picked up Noah who was fussing, gave him his pacifier then looked at Leah. "From what you've told me, I think once he sets eyes on this little one, he won't be able to get a ring on your finger fast enough."

Leah smiled and really thought about that. _Would he forgive her that easily?_

Later that night as she sat up feeding Noah, Leah decided she would stick it out until Christmas break. That was only six more weeks. Then she would go home, face Paul and tell him the truth. And then God help her.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET?

Paul came home from work to find Travis sitting on the floor with the saddest look on his face. Sitting down to take his boots off, he asked, "Hey, Trav. What's the matter, buddy?"

"Tyler told me my Thomas costume is too small to wear this year for Trick or Treating. I put it on anyway to show him and . . . " he pulled it out from behind him, "and it ripped," he finished in tears.

"Aw, I'm sorry. Come here, let me see it."

Travis sniffed and got up to walk over to Paul and hold the costume out to him. Paul took it and saw that it was indeed ripped, from the crotch up the back. "Maybe Emily could fix it?" Travis hiccupped.

Paul shook his head. "I don't think so, buddy. I think it's time for a new costume."

Travis brightened a little. "A new costume?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow is Saturday. We'll drive over to Wal-Mart and see what they have left, OK?"

"Thanks, Paul!" Travis said as he hugged Paul.

"You're welcome. Now, I'm hungry. Did your brother make dinner?"

"Yep. Psketti!"

Paul laughed at Travis' pronunciation. They had corrected him many times, but he just liked saying it that way. "Well, come on, let's go!" 

Paul took the boys to Wal-Mart the next day, as promised, and as they were headed for the Halloween section, Paul spotted Sue holding up a baby outfit of some kind. He snuck up behind her and said, "I think that's a little small for Seth."

Sue jumped a mile and cried out as she whipped around. "Oh my God, Paul! You scared me to death!"

Paul laughed deeply and the boys joined in. Finally, Paul asked, "You got yourself in the family way, Sue?"

She looked nervous as Paul stood there waiting for her to answer and he wondered why. "No, of course not," she got out. "I, uh . . . I'm buying this for a friend at work. Who had a baby. Yeah, she had a baby and I want to give her a gift."

Paul just looked at her curiously and said, "OK, Sue, I believe you." Then he put his arm around Travis and told her, "We are on our way to pick out a new Halloween costume for Travis here. He grew out of the Thomas one Leah gave him last year."

"I ripped it," Travis said sadly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey," Sue said to him. "I know you loved that Thomas costume. Maybe they have a new one you can buy here."

"Maybe," Travis said slowly as he put a finger to his chin to add, "Or maybe a Transformer."

Paul smiled as he realized his little boy was growing up just a little. "Come on, guys. Let's go. Good to see you, Sue."

"You, too. Come over on Halloween so I can see the new costume."

"We will," he assured her. Paul happened to glance back in time to see her whip out her cell phone and make a call. He wondered what that was all about.

Travis did indeed go with the Transformer costume, so Optimus Prime replaced Thomas the Tank Engine. Paul was happy Travis had a new obsession, and yet rather sad to see Thomas go. They had a great time Trick or Treating again this year, except Tyler opted not to dress up. He was 12 after all and in the 8th grade. Even Paul had to admit that would have been a little lame. 

They celebrated Travis' birthday two days later over at Sam and Emily's. Emily insisted saying she would really like to throw him a birthday party, so Paul let her. Frankly, he was just too tired to want to do it.

Paul had quit the job at the grocery store because construction work had actually picked up. However, he was now driving to Port Angeles every day and that was a lot farther than Forks. He left at 7:45 in the morning and didn't get home sometimes until 6:30 or 7:00 at night. Chuck had even given him a raise and he was now making $12 an hour, which was great. But he was still doing night patrols and then on the weekends, he tried to spend as much time with the boys as he could while still doing things around the house that needed done, and then he would collapse into bed at night and try his best to keep from thinking about Leah. As much as he tried to forget, she was still there . . . all the time.

So, he was more than happy to let Emily do party duty. She had invited the whole pack, along with Sue and Billy and Jared's parents, Carol and Chuck. Travis was having a ball! Paul was sure it was the first big birthday party the kid ever had. There was lots of food, of course, and a huge birthday cake and everyone spoiled Travis with a lot of new clothes and toys. Sue gave him a new winter coat, which Paul appreciated and Sam and Emily bought him the new shoes he wanted. Sue even brought one of Seth's old winter coats he had grown out of for Ty. Tyler didn't care it wasn't new. It was cool and it fit, so he was happy.

Paul did notice that Leah hadn't sent a gift. That was not like her. She always remembered the boys on their birthdays and at Christmas. Being a little worried about it, he worked his way over to Sue while Travis opened his last couple of gifts. "Sue? Is Leah OK? I noticed she didn't send a gift for Travis and that's not like her."

Sue looked a little flustered at his question. "Hmmm, no it's not like her. I know she's pretty busy now with work and everything. Maybe she just sent it late."

Paul nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

Then Sue quickly mumbled something about needing to help Emily in the kitchen and she got up and left. _What is up with her?_ Paul wondered. _Why does she always try to avoid me?_

After Travis opened all his gifts he wondered over to Paul. "You didn't give me a present," he pouted.

"Oh, was I supposed to? I guess I forgot," Paul teased him. For Travis' birthday, Paul got him a bicycle. There was a dirt path between their house and Sam and Emily's and he knew he would like riding back and forth between their houses. It was a cool dirt bike, bright red. He had taken it over to Sam's house the day before the party so he could give it to him there.

Travis stuck his little lip out and Paul laughed. "Oh, come on, Trav! You think I would forget to get you a present? I got you one, but it was too big to wrap. Go open the front door." Travis' eyes got real big and he took off running for the door. Paul followed him then heard Travis yell out, "Wow! A bike!"

Paul walked out onto the porch to see Travis just standing there, staring at the bike. "What do you think, buddy? You like it?" Travis nodded. "Hey," he said as he turned him so he could see his face, "You sure? We could get something else . . . "

"No, I love it. I just . . . I don't know how to ride a bike."

Paul felt like an idiot. He hadn't even through of that! "Well, that's OK. I'll teach you. It's not that hard at all once you get the hang of it."

Travis lit up a little. "You will?"

"Sure."

Travis hugged him and said, "Thanks, Paul. It's really cool. It's my favorite present in the world."

Paul smiled at that as he let Travis go to run inside and tell everyone what he got. Paul stood up as Sam came out on the porch.

"Way to make the kid happy, bro," Sam said to Paul.

"I keep trying. It's a struggle every day, but I just keep trying."

"Well, keep it up. You're doing a good job. You'll be a good father someday."

Paul snorted. "I doubt that. All I will ever be is a big brother. I guess that will have to be enough." 

A week after Travis' birthday, a package from Leah arrived in the mail. Trav opened it to find a couple of new books. One was a Transformer book and the other was a children's book on Native American legends.

She wrote inside the card:

_Dear Travis,_

_I am so sorry this is late. I have been really busy working with real doctors and nurses and studying for some really important tests. I hope you had a great birthday! _

_I miss you!_

_Love, Leah_

"Wow, cool," was Travis' response to the book on legends. "Can we read this tonight?"

"Sure, buddy," Paul answered.

Paul was happy that Leah had remembered Travis, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that something was not right about it being so late. 

A couple of weeks later, Paul was going through the mail after work when he came across a plain white envelope with no return address. He didn't recognize the handwriting and wondered who it could be from as he flipped it over and ripped it open. Inside was a money order, made out to Paul in the amount of $200. It was signed by Jim Uley. There was a small note with it.

_Paul,_

_I know it's not much, but I wanted to help you boys out. I'll try to send more when I can. I'm working in Seattle on the docks. Take care, Jim_

Tyler walked into the kitchen and glanced over his shoulder. "What's that?" he asked Paul.

"This is . . . well, I don't know what the hell to make of this. It's a money order from our dad for $200. And there's a note." He held it out to Tyler who took it and sat down to read it.

"Wow. He's working and sending us money? What's this mean? He suddenly wants to be our dad now and take care of us?"

Paul snorted. "Who knows? This might be a one-time thing to help him get rid of his guilt or something. Whatever." He dropped the money order on the table and got up to get himself something to drink.

"What are you going to do with it?" Tyler asked.

Paul shrugged. "What do you think I should do with it?" he asked him as he popped the top on a Mt. Dew.

Tyler shrugged. "Spend it, I guess. I'm sure we have some bill that needs paying."

As much as he tried to hide things from Tyler, he realized Tyler wasn't stupid. He watched as Paul went over the bills every week when he got paid, and how careful he was when they shopped for groceries. Tyler even told Paul he didn't have to pay him an allowance . . . he'd understand. But Paul insisted. He earned it with all the work he did around the house and he wanted him to have some of his own spending money.

Paul sat down at the table and picked up the money order again. "I suppose we could spend it on some bill, or we could put it in the bank with your college money."

"But it's made out to you. You should spend it," Tyler argued.

"Look, Ty, I have a job. I'm working and I can pay our bills. It may be made out to me, but it's for you, too. He is your father, and if he wants to send us money, then I think he owes it to you to help you pay for college. You're smart, Ty, really smart. I want you to have a chance to go on to college and do something with your life."

"Whatever," Tyler shrugged. "I don't care. Do what you want."

"OK then. I'm putting it in the bank. End of discussion. So, what's for dinner? It smells great."

"Um, I got really brave today and looked through Grandma's recipes and I found the one for her meatloaf. I hope it turns out OK. I know how much you liked it, and you miss it . . . I guess I wanted to make it for you."

Paul was blown away by this kid. He had such a huge heart and always wanted to make everyone else happy. "Wow, thanks Ty. That sounds really good. I can't wait to try it. How long till dinner?"

Tyler checked the timer on the oven. "17 minutes."

"Good. That gives me time to shower before we eat." Paul stood then scooped up the mail he wanted to keep, along with the money order, to put in the box on top of the fridge he kept there for bills until payday. Then he turned to Ty and said, "I'll be back."

As he stood in the shower, Paul thought about that money order and what it might mean. He wasn't real sure he wanted any kind of a relationship with his father. He had learned from his past that neither of his parents were to be trusted. He also remembered the promise he made to Tyler to protect him and keep him safe, and he knew that was one promise he would do everything in his power to keep. So, until he knew what his dad was up to, he would have to try harder to keep Tyler out of it. 

Thanksgiving came and during the big feast, Emily announced she was pregnant. Everyone congratulated her and Sam and seemed happy for the both of them. Travis was all excited that he would have a new baby to play with. Claire was four now, and getting too independent for him to boss around.

Paul especially enjoyed when Travis sat beside Emily and asked her a series of questions about the baby.

"So when will the baby get here?" Travis asked.

"Sometime around the first of June."

"Well, where is the baby now?"

"In my tummy," Emily explained as she put her hand over her belly. "It will grow in there until it's big enough to be born. My belly will get a lot bigger."

Travis' eyebrows furrowed as he thought hard about that. "How did it get there? Did you swallow it?"

Emily tried hard not to laugh. "No, sweetie, I didn't swallow it. It's kind of hard to explain so you can understand, but it has to do with me and Sam being married and sleeping together. Let's leave it at that, OK?"

Paul snickered at her and she shot him a look and added, "Your big brother can explain it to you when you get a little bigger."

Paul grinned as he said, "Well played, Em."

Emily laughed at that and hugged Travis to her. "You know Travis, my little baby will need someone around that's older to teach it some things. I hope you'll be around to help. Will you?"

Paul loved how Travis shrugged and said, "Yeah, I guess." Then he said, "I'll go find Claire and make sure she's not in trouble."

"Thanks, honey," Emily said as Travis got up and ran off.

Paul watched him go then said to Emily, "You will be a great mom. You are so good with the boys."

"They have been good practice," she said with a smile. "Tyler even offered to babysit for me. I told him I would consider it. He has to be the most responsible 12-year-old I've ever met."

"Yeah. He had it rough living with Doreen. He practically raised Travis for the first 6 years of his life," Paul shared with her.

"Well, he's lucky to have you now," Emily said as she patted his arm.

"Thanks, Em, but I think that I'm the one that's lucky to have them. If I had to live all alone right now . . ." _without Leah_, he almost added.

"Still haven't heard from her, huh?"

Paul sighed, "Em, I can't talk . . . "

"Yeah, I know, you can't talk about it. Paul, one of these days, you're going to have to get off your ass and just tell Leah you want to marry her. She'll be done with school in a few short months and then she'll be back here where she belongs. You better have a ring bought by the time she gets back."

Paul actually laughed out loud. "Like it's that easy. We're talking about Leah here. You know how stubborn she can be."

Emily smiled and put her hand on his arm. "It is that easy. You love her, she loves you. What else is there? This life we have is short, Paul. Way too short to be so miserable. Just marry her and end this misery for all of us, will you?"

Paul smiled and answered, "I will do my best." 

Two weeks before Christmas, Paul was out on patrol with Seth, Embry and Collin. They had heard a couple of backpackers were killed night before last, and they were running extra patrols to make sure it really was a bear and not any straggler bloodsuckers. Paul hadn't sunk his teeth into a leech for way too long. He was really hoping they would come across one . . . he needed to get rid of some of his anger and frustration.

Paul had settled into a routine . . . working, taking care of the boys . . . it helped him forget Leah for awhile. And yet, she was always there, haunting him. It was driving him crazy that she wouldn't talk to him, or write to him. He broke down right after his little talk with Emily at Thanksgiving and called her. The first few times, she didn't answer. Then finally, she answered and when she realized it was him calling, she quickly said, "I'm sorry, Paul. I just can't talk right now," and hung up. He never tried again.

For awhile he wondered if she was seeing someone else. That would explain why she wouldn't stay in contact, why she missed Trav's birthday . . . why she wouldn't talk to him on the phone. If that was it, he just wished she'd say so and get it over with. But then, his body filled with rage at the thought of another guy kissing her lips and touching her body, making her cry out . . .

_"Paul, for God's sake, knock it off, will ya? She's not seeing someone else. She's just busy, OK?" _Seth interjected.

_"I'm sorry, Seth, but your sister is making me so fucking crazy! I have to see her. We have to resolve this shit between us. I can't take it anymore. She's coming home for Christmas, right? That's what I heard from Sam."_

_"Yeah, Mom is leaving next week to pick them up and bring th . . . "_

_"Them? She is seeing someone! How could you lie to me about that? Damnit, Seth!" _Paul snarled at him and nipped at him.

_"Paul! Leave him alone!" _Embry jumped in between them. _"We're supposed to be hunting down bloodsuckers, not fighting each other."_

_"I swear Seth you better tell me the truth right now! It's someone from school, isn't it? Damnit! Why won't she tell me? Why is she hiding it?" _Paul insisted.

Seth was panicking and trying hard to keep it out of his head . . ._his mom and Leah fighting when they helped her move. . . Leah and her big pregnant belly laughing at him because he was hungry. . . then Sue showing him pictures of the baby . . ._ but it was too late.

_"Leah . . . a baby?" _Paul suddenly remembered seeing Sue hold up that baby outfit in Wal-Mart that day and how nervous she had been. _"Leah was pregnant? She had a baby?" _Then he quickly counted back and realized . . . those nights they spent together in January . . . _"MY baby? Leah had MY baby?"_

_"Yes, Paul. Leah had the baby October 7th. She got all stubborn and decided to be independent and not tell you. She didn't even tell Mom and me until August! Mom has been bitching at her to tell you, but . . . Paul, I'm sorry. I don't why she wanted to keep it a secret, but if she knows you found out from me, she'll kill me."_

Paul phased back into his human body to be able to work through this. He pulled his shorts on and started pacing back and forth in complete shock. _Leah had a baby . . . a baby! And she didn't tell me. That means when she was home in May . . . that night on the cliff when she ran . . . she was pregnant then and didn't tell me! For God's sake, why would she keep this from me? I love her more than anyone in this world! I would do anything for her. Why would she not trust me? _

Seth had phased and now walked up behind him. "Look, Idon't know why she didn't tell you. She was all fired up about finishing her degree and not disappointing the Tribal Council, blah, blah, blah. Mom told her to screw the degree, that this baby was more important, but she just wouldn't listen."

"I'll make her listen, damnit!" Paul shouted as he wheeled around to face Seth. "This is a baby we're talking about!" Then he stopped as he realized what he just said. "Oh my God, I'm a father. Seth, I'm someone's dad. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."

Seth could see how distraught Paul was and for the first time in his life he was ashamed of his sister for keeping this from him. Seth smiled as he said, "A boy. She named him Noah Paul Jacobs."

Paul thought about that then grinned. "A boy. I have a . . . I have a son. And she named him after me?"

"Yeah, poor kid. He looks just like you, too."

"He does?"

"Well, I still haven't seen him except in pictures, but Mom was there when he was born and she says he looks just like you."

"Um, I gotta go . . . I have to go," Paul muttered. Then he looked at Seth with a grin and shocked the hell out of him by pulling him in for a bro hug, pounding him on the back as he said, "I know she'll kick your ass, but thanks, bro. Thanks for letting me know." Then Paul turned and took off, running through the woods as fast as he could go. Seth smiled and wished he could see his sister's face when for once, someone else got the best of her. 

Paul ran into the house and went straight to the phone. "Chuck? It's Paul. Look, I can't really explain too much right now, but I have to take the next few days off. I really hate to ask, but it's an emergency."

"Is it one of the boys?"

"Um, not my brothers, no. I, uh, I just found out that I'm a father. I'll explain later, but I am leaving right away to drive to Spokane and meet my son. And to find out why the hell Leah didn't tell me."

"Wow . . . uh, sure. You go, and don't worry about your job. You want us to take the boys?"

"I think Emily will want to take them, but thanks."

"You got it. Good luck!"

"Thanks, Chuck." Paul hung up and immediately called Sam and asked if the boys could stay there.

"Of course, what's up?" Paul quickly told him what he told Chuck.

"Are you shitting me? I thought Leah couldn't . . . "

"Uh, yeah, so did I. But she did, and I gotta go."

"I completely get that. Look, I'll come and get the boys. You pack and get ready to go."

"Thanks, Sam. I owe you one."

Hanging up, Paul hurried to his room to dig in the closet for some kind of bag to pack. Tyler walked in and asked, "What the hell is going on, Paul?"

"Ty, I gotta go. I'm leaving for a few days and Sam is on his way over to pick you guys up and take you home to stay with them."

"What? Where are you going?" Paul was frantically pulling clothes out of the dresser and shoving them in duffle bag when Tyler grabbed his arm. "Paul! Stop! Where the hell are you going?"

Paul stopped and looked at him. "Tyler, I just found out . . ." he sat down on the bed, "I'm a father."

Tyler's eyes bugged out. "What?"

"Leah had a baby and didn't tell me. I just found out from Seth."

Tyler sat down beside Paul on the bed and the two of them just stared at the floor. "Why wouldn't she tell you something like that?"

"I don't know, but that's what I'm going to find out. I'm leaving right away, Ty. I'm driving all the way to Spokane tonight to find out what the hell is going on."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

Paul grinned. "A boy. Noah Paul Jacobs."

Tyler grinned. "Oh my God, you're a dad."

"I know, right?" Paul laughed.

"Are you going to marry her?"

"You bet your ass I am. Of course, Leah is so stubborn, I'm sure she'll fight me on it. But this is one fight she won't win."

Tyler stood up and started shoving Paul's clothes into the bag. "Don't forget your toothbrush." Paul laughed and ran to the bathroom. "And deodorant!" Tyler added.

When Paul came back he told Ty, "Go pack your own bag and one for your brother. Then wake him up, OK?"

With a quick nod, Tyler ran to his room to do what his brother asked.

Paul was packed and then realized he needed some money. Taking the gray box that held his grandma's important papers down off of the closet shelf, Paul took out an envelope of cash that he kept there for emergencies. This was an emergency if ever there was one. He thumbed through it quickly and found there was $300 in there. Shoving it into his pocket, Paul picked up his bag and walked out to the living room just as Sam came through the door.

"Thanks, Sam."

"No problem. So you're a dad. Poor kid." Paul rolled his eyes. "Boy or girl?"

"Boy. Noah Paul Jacobs."

Sam grinned and patted him hard on the back. "She gave him your last name?" Paul nodded. "Well, that's a good sign. Way to go, bro. Bring them home, will ya?"

"I am damn sure gonna try."

Tyler came out of their room dragging a sleepy Travis behind him. "Where are we going?" he asked sleepily.

Paul bent down and said, "Travis, I have to go away for a little bit. I promise I won't be gone long, and I will bring you a really cool present for Christmas."

"You will?"

"Yes. I'm going to bring Leah home. And our baby."

"A baby?"

"Yeah, buddy. I'm a dad. Leah had a baby. A little boy. You're an uncle." He could see Travis was completely confused. "Listen, Tyler will explain it to you tomorrow. Right now, you're going to go home with Sam, OK?"

"I don't want you to go, Paul. I'll miss you," Travis whined as he rubbed his eyes.

Paul hugged him close and kissed him on the head. "I know. I'll miss you, too." He let Travis go with a little shove then Sam reached down and picked him up to carry him to the car.

Paul picked up his bag, turned off the lights and locked the door behind them. "You know where the key in the back is, right Ty?" Tyler nodded. "OK, if you need something, use that key. I'll call you when I get there. You got my cell number?"

"Yes, Paul, we're fine. Get the hell out of here, will ya?" Tyler told him.

Paul smiled and quickly hugged Tyler then headed for his truck. He waved as Sam drove off then he started the engine and said softly, "Be ready, Leah. Here I come."


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

THIS BOY

Leah had just gotten Noah back to sleep and decided to lay down herself for a little while before class as it had been a very long night. She stayed up late to finish a paper and then Noah decided he needed to eat twice instead of once, and now she was exhausted. Glancing at the clock, she decided she could sleep for a couple of hours and still have time to shower and get to class. Setting the alarm, Leah rolled over and closed her eyes.

That's when someone had the nerve to knock on her door. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," she mumbled into her pillow, quickly deciding to ignore it. It was probably just Jenny and she would understand if she didn't answer. Then the knock came again, only louder this time. "Shit." Not wanting to wake Noah, she decided she better answer it.

"Coming," Leah called out as quietly as she could as she crawled out of bed and shuffled to the door. After unlocking it, she cracked it open to gasp, "Oh my God." Suddenly she couldn't breathe . . . _it's Paul. Paul is here! And he doesn't look happy. _Paul was standing in the hallway in a black t-shirt and jeans, with a gray hooded sweatshirt zipped over it, glaring at her. Finally she opened the door wider. "Paul? What . . . what are you doing here?" she stuttered.

"I came to meet my son," Paul stated flatly, trying to control himself as best he could. He was torn right now between wanting to shake the shit out of Leah, and pulling her into his arms to kiss her senseless.

Leah's legs were shaking as she closed her eyes and tried to get a grip. Her heart was racing now - partially out of the shock of seeing him again after 7 long months, and partially because she could see he was furious with her.

"Leah?" Paul startled her and she opened her eyes. "I drove way too fast for over 10 hours straight. Please let me in."

Leah finally stepped back and opened the door for Paul to come in. That's when she realized her drom room was such a mess. There were dirty clothes pilled up in the corner, clean clothes on the couch that needed folded, a pizza box on the floor by the bed where she had left it last night after she ate the last piece before she went to sleep . . . "I'm sorry the place is such a mess," she said as she started picking things up.

Paul just stared at her. "You really think I care about what your room looks like? Damnit, Leah, you had a _baby _. . . MY baby and didn't tell me. I don't give a damn about what's laying on the floor."

"I know, I'm sorry, I . . . "

"Oh, you're sorry. OK, that makes it all better." Paul's anger had been simmering for 13 hours, and it was just about to bubble over. "What the fuck were you thinking, Leah? Did you honestly think you could hide this from me forever? Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

"No, I was going to tell you . . ."

Paul stepped closer as Leah shrunk away. "You were going to tell me? When? When, Leah? When the kid was 10? Or graduating high school? I just don't get it! I don't understand why you didn't tell me in May! My God, Leah, how could you keep this from me?"

"I just wanted to make my own decision . . . about this . . ."

"Your OWN decision? Like I don't count? That's my baby, too, Leah. Don't you get that? Why do you think you're the only one that gets a say here?"

"Because MY life would be the one to change, not yours. I was the one carrying the baby, and getting fat and I would be the one going through labor and then taking care of him . . . "

"And you didn't think I would want to be there for you? God, when did you turn into such a selfish bitch? What is about women? They get a kid and they turn into this . . . "

"Don't do that, Paul. Don't you dare compare me to your mother," Leah shot at him.

Paul eyes were blazing. "You're keeping my kid away from me. What am I supposed to think? I don't have a fucking clue why you would do something like that!"

"Shut up, Paul! Just shut up!" Leah shouted. Their voices woke the baby and he began to cry. "Shit. Now you woke him up and I just got him back to sleep," Leah whined as she walked over to the small crib and bent over it. "Hey, sweetie. It's alright," Leah cooed as she picked up the pacifier that was lying there and put it in Noah's mouth then talked quietly to him and lightly ran her hand over his belly. Thankfully, he took it and closed his eyes and Leah sighed. As she straightened, she noticed Paul, standing beside her.

Paul peered down into the small crib and what he saw took his breath away. There on the small little mattress, lay his son. HIS son. "He's so tiny," he whispered. The baby was lying on his back in pajamas with yellow ducks on them, his shock of black hair standing up and he was covered with a knitted blue blanket. Paul slowly reached out and very lightly touched his little hand.

"He looks just like you," Leah said quietly. "His name is Noah Paul Jacobs."

"I know."

"Who told you? It was Seth, wasn't it?"

Paul glanced over at her. "It doesn't matter who told me. What matters is YOU didn't tell me."

Tears rolled down Leah's cheeks as words started tumbling out of her mouth. "I know. I hate myself, Paul. I know I made the wrong decision. I knew it when I gave birth to him and you weren't there. I just thought it was so important to stay here and finish my degree . . . I thought I could do it alone. Then he came and . . . it's so hard to keep up, and I was in so deep with this lie, I just didn't know how to tell you. I was planning on telling you when Mom brought us home for Christmas. I am so sorry, Paul. Please, please, don't hate me. I couldn't take it if you hated me."

Paul hung his head as Leah cried harder. _God, I hate it when she cries_. Finally he couldn't take it, and he gave in and pulled her into his arms. "Damnit, Leah, I don't hate you. Maybe I should, but I don't." She sobbed on his shoulder as he looked down at their son.

After a few minutes, Paul turned Leah and led her over to sit on the edge of the bed. As she looked up at him and wiped her face, Paul said with a small smile, "God, you look awful."

"Thanks. That really does a lot for my self-esteem," Leah sniffed.

"I can tell you're exhausted. I know that look well. I've seen it on myself enough."

Leah rested her head in her hands as she muttered, "I am. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be to take care of a newborn and study and go to class and work . . . I'm a horrible mother, Paul."

Paul squatted down in front of her and took her chin in hand. "I'm sure you're not a horrible mother. You just need help. A child needs two parents, not just one."

"I know, I know."

Paul's hand dropped. "Why don't you lay down and take a nap. We'll talk more when you wake up."

Leah nodded then laid down and Paul pulled her blanket over her. "Go to sleep," he commanded quietly. She obediently closed her eyes as he straightened and shook his head at her.

As much as he was furious with her for not telling him, he couldn't help but love her with every fiber of his being. Moving back over to the crib, Paul looked down at the baby. _His son_. He was overwhelmed with emotion just looking at him. Paul made a silent vow there and then that he would never spend another day without being with this boy. And his son would never go a single second of his life without knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt how much his father loved him.

Finally, exhaustion got the best of him, too, and he turned from the crib and looked around the tiny room, finally noticing a couch and decided to lay down for awhile. Sitting down on the edge, Paul took off his shoes then folded the clothes on the couch and set them on the floor so he could lay down. He had driven all night to get here after working all day and running a patrol and he was beat. Once he stretched out on the couch, he was asleep in no time. 

They all slept for two hours then the alarm went off. Leah sat straight up and hit the button then listened to make sure Noah was still sleeping. That's when she heard snoring.

Turning her head to look at the couch, Leah smiled. _So it wasn't a dream. Paul was really here . . . and sound asleep on her couch._ Since they were both still sleeping, she decided to slip into the bathroom and take a quick shower.

As the hot water soaked into her tired muscles, Leah thought about her fight with Paul. She really shouldn't have been so surprised that he showed up here. In the back of her mind, she always suspected that Seth wouldn't be able to keep it from him. And he had every right to be angry with her. Stepping out of the shower, Leah dried off then quickly dressed in a pair of jeans and a plaid blouse. After running a comb through her short hair and brushing her teeth, she came out of the bathroom to find Paul holding Noah, who was crying.

"He started crying, but I didn't know what to do for him," Paul said anxiously.

Leah smiled and took Noah from him to sit down on the couch and open her blouse. As soon as Noah latched on she looked up at Paul and said, "I don't think you could really help with this one, Dad."

Paul gave a short laugh and sunk down on the couch beside her. "It made me realize that I don't know anything about taking care of a baby. He's my son, and I have no idea how to help him." As Noah nursed, Paul ran a hand softly across his head.

"It's mostly common sense," Leah explained. "If he's hungry, I feed him. If he's wet or stinky, I change him. I bathe him every night and put clean clothes on him. I hold him and sing to him and just . . . love him."

Paul looked up at Leah and smiled. "You are a good mom, Leah. I always knew you would be."

Returning his smile, Leah then looked down at the baby. "I think you'll be a good dad, too. You are so good with the boys." Suddenly, Leah looked up exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, the boys! Do they know?"

With a nod, Paul explained, "I told Ty when I was packing to leave. I tried to tell Travis, but he was pretty sleepy. We had to get him out of bed to go with Sam. He knows, too."

Leah closed her eyes and shook her head. "What can they all think of me?"

"Who the hell cares, Leah? What matters is you and me and this little baby. We're a family now. I hope you realize that." Leah didn't say anything, but nodded. "Why Leah? Why in the hell didn't you trust me enough to tell me?"

Letting out a long sigh, Leah started her explanation, "It's not that I didn't trust you Paul. At first I was completely freaked out! I mean, you know I thought I could never have kids. I bought four pregnancy tests and when they all came out positive, I was in shock! When I was home in May, I was so close to telling you. Remember that night? On the cliff top?" Paul nodded. "When you started to pull up my shirt, I panicked because of my baby bump. After I ran away, I stopped and stood there in the middle of the woods for so long battling with myself. I wanted to turn around and run to you and tell you . . . and I should have. But . . . I was still scared . . . about the imprint."

"But Rachel was gone and . . . "

"I know she was gone, but we've never seen an imprint completely disappear like that. And I didn't know if for some reason, Rachel decided to move home, would it come back? I just couldn't make myself take that chance."

Paul hung his head. "God, I hate this. Everything was so perfect for such a short time, then I had to fucking imprint . . . "

"Don't Paul. This is my mistake, OK? I made the decision to run and hide and it was wrong. It was so very wrong and I will be sorry for the rest of my life for hurting you this way." Looking into his eyes, Leah pleaded silently for him to understand.

"Look, Leah, I can't say I understand your thinking on this or that I can just forget what you did. It kills me that you found out you were pregnant, something you thought you could never do, and you felt you couldn't share that with me. We weren't only lovers, we were best friends. I should have been the FIRST person you came to when you found out."

"I know."

"You are everything to me, Leah. EVERYTHING. My God, I would walk through fucking fire for you! I guess I just want to feel like I am everything to you."

Leah turned her head to look at him. "Oh Paul," she sighed. "You are. You and Noah are the most important people in the world to me. And I am so sorry that I hurt you. I don't think I can ever say that enough."

"Saying it over and over doesn't change the fact that you shut me out and kept me from being with you on the day our son was born. I will regret that for the rest of my life."

"So will I," Leah admitted softly as she touched her son's rosy cheek.

Paul leaned back and closed his eyes as he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. This was so hard. His emotions were all over the place. He was still so pissed at her, and yet, all he wanted to do was to hold her close and tell her how much he loved her.

Finally Paul opened his eyes and looked at her. This was _his_ Leah . . . his best friend, the woman he loved . . . and now, the mother of his child. He knew he still wanted to spend the rest of his life loving her.

"Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you might not want to hear it right now, but . . . I love you and I am so glad you came here. Even though you might want to strangle me, I'm still glad you're here."

Paul had to smile at that. "Well, I can't guarantee that I still won't strangle you, but I wouldn't miss seeing him for the world. He's amazing, Leah."

Smiling down at her baby, Leah agreed, "Yeah, he is. It's been so hard the last few weeks . . . looking down into those eyes that are just like yours and . . . well, I've missed you. I really miss you." Leah looked over at Paul and her lip quivered as she tried to hold back her tears.

Paul held her gaze as he leaned forward to put his lips gently on hers. It had been so long . . . too long. He pulled away and smiled, "Me, too."

Returning his smile, Leah whispered, "Truce?"

Paul sighed and whispered, "For now." Then he kissed her again because he had dreamt almost every night for the last seven months of kissing those lips, and now, here they were, and he had a hard time staying away from them.

Leah smiled and said, "I don't know if you know this or not, but hormonal women tend to get horny. You may want to be careful about kissing me for awhile."

Paul grinned and leaned in for another kiss, this time lingering a little longer. When he pulled back Leah added, "And the doctor said that I might be very fertile right now, so she suggested I go on the pill if I didn't want to get pregnant again right away."

"So did you?"

With a smile, Leah answered softly, "Yes."

Paul smiled back. "Good."

Leah pulled Noah away to put him on her shoulder to burp him. After patting him for awhile, he belched and Paul laughed.

"That he gets from his daddy," Leah said with a smile.

Leah told Paul she had to go to class because she had a final. She insisted on taking Noah to the day care center so Paul could get some more sleep. "When we come back, I'll give you your first lesson in changing diapers. You'll love it."

Paul realized he had no idea how to care for Noah, so he relented, and as soon as she left, he laid down on the couch and went right to sleep. Three hours later, Leah walked into her room to find Paul up and cleaning. "Hey, what's going on here?"

"Well, I wasn't real sure where you kept everything, but I wanted to help out," Paul told her.

The floor was clear and the clothes were all put away. The trash was taken out and the bathroom was clean. "I thought you were going to sleep," Leah said as she lay Noah down on the bed that was now made to get him out of his bunting.

"I did for a couple of hours. Then my phone rang and woke me up. Tyler. He was worried about me. And then Travis had to get on the phone and ask me like a million questions about this baby."

"YOU have a cell phone?" Leah asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I got it because of working so far away from the boys. I drive to Port Angeles every day now, and I guess I just wanted them to be able to get a hold of me if they needed something."

Smiling, Leah shook her head as she said, "Look at you. Mr. Responsibility." Then she stepped toward Paul and held out Noah. "Here. Hold your son. I have to pee really bad."

Paul chuckled as he took the baby from her, settled him in the crook of his arm, and then just stood there and stared at him. Noah had his eyes open and was staring back and Paul felt this incredible bond all of a sudden between himself and this small little person. It was amazing to him. He never could have imagined it in his wildest dreams, the depth of love for this boy.

Leah walked out of the bathroom and smiled at Paul. "You don't have to just stand there, you know. Come here and sit down on the couch," Leah instructed. "Take that pillow and put it under your arm. He may be little, but he gets heavy after awhile." Paul did as she said and then Leah sank down beside him, her leg folded underneath her. Looking over at Paul holding their son, she soon felt tears spring to her eyes. "You look good holding a baby."

Paul looked up from the baby and gave her a killer smile. "Thanks." Then he asked, "So, how did your final go?"

"Oh, I don't know. I studied like crazy last night then finished a paper for my other class. I just hope I remembered as much as I thought I did." Leah ran her hand through her short hair.

"I like your hair, especially the bangs," Paul commented.

Leah looked over at him. "Yeah? I thought you liked my hair long?"

"I do. But . . . I kind of like this, too. It makes you look a little older, more mature. It's kind of hot hanging out with an older woman."

Leah rolled her eyes at that. "I've always been older than you." He chuckled and she added, "I had to cut it when Noah was born. It was too hard to keep up with and he kept getting lost in it."

Paul bit his tongue as he almost told her how he had always loved getting lost in it. He thought maybe that was too much right now.

"Um, I fed him before I brought him home. He just couldn't wait. So, while you two seem to be settled for awhile, I am going to take the laundry down to the laundry room and throw it in the washer. Is that OK?"

"Sure. We're fine," Paul said quietly, his eyes never leaving Noah.

Leah gathered up the laundry and detergent and left as Paul just stared at this little being in his arms. He was amazed that he and Leah could make something so . . . wonderful. And then his thoughts turned to his own parents. _Had they ever felt like this with him? Ever?_ He was pretty sure his mom never did. Kids to her were a by-product of too much booze and faulty protection. But looking down at his son, he couldn't imagine ever thinking of him as anything other than a miracle.

Later, after the load of laundry was out of the dryer and folded, Paul said, "I'm starving. Is there anywhere good to eat around here?"

"I usually eat in the cafeteria, but it's not that great."

"No, I mean a restaurant. I want to take you out to eat."

Leah gave him a shy smile as she protested, "You don't have to do that."

"No, I don't, but I'm going to, so pack this boy up and let's go!" Paul told her.

Leah made sure she had what she needed in the diaper bag then she bundled Noah up and put him in his car seat. Paul led her out to his truck and Leah showed him how to buckle the car seat into the back seat then they climbed into the front and Leah named off a few of the restaurants she knew. He decided he needed a steak, so Leah directed him to a local steakhouse. "Are you sure, Paul? This place isn't cheap."

"Don't worry about it. I brought my emergency money."

Leah rolled her eyes. "This is hardly an emergency."

"Didn't you hear me? I AM STARVING! That is an emergency." Paul grinned and Leah laughed softly.

Paul parked the truck and walked around to take the car seat from Leah then they walked inside and were seated at a table. "You know, I think this is only the second time just you and I have been in a restaurant together."

"Have a baby then date. Well, that would be the way we do things," Paul commented. They both laughed at that.

After placing their order, Leah said, "So, tell me what's been going on with you for the last 7 months."

Paul shrugged and said, "Going to work, taking care of the boys, patrolling for leeches, you know, same old shit."

"Stuff," Leah corrected. "Now that we are parents, we need to clean up our mouths, don't you think?"

"OK, fine. Stuff." Paul glanced over at Noah who was sound asleep.

"So, that's it?"

Paul shrugged again. "Yeah. I tried to keep busy. I had to do something to try and put you out of my mind."

"I know," Leah sighed. "I buried myself in homework. I got straight A's, so I guess that was good for me. I also worked as many hours as I could stand to save up some money. I had enough to buy the car seat and crib and I stocked up on diapers."

"Aren't you supposed to get stuff like that at a baby shower?"

Leah played with her straw. "Yeah, I guess. I cheated myself out of that by staying here and hiding."

"Emily's pregnant. Did you hear?"

"Yeah, Mom told me."

Paul laughed softly as he said, "Of course Travis was full of questions. He wanted to know when it would get here, and where it was now. When she told him it was in her belly, he asked if she swallowed it."

Leah broke out in laughter. "Oh I miss him so much."

"He misses you, too. He loves the book you sent about the legends. I finally told Ty he would have to take over reading to him at bedtime. I just couldn't read it one more time."

The waitress brought their food and they started eating. "Mmm, I haven't eaten red meat in wayyy too long," Leah said as she chewed her steak. "This was a great idea. Thanks, Paul."

They enjoyed their meal, and Noah slept the whole time until Leah ordered pie for dessert. He woke up and cried a little until she gave him a pacifier and he quieted down, but stayed awake. Paul pulled him out of the car seat and held him. "I just want to hold him while he's awake," Paul said as he stared into Noah's eyes.

"It should be like looking in a mirror," Leah commented. "That's the first thing I noticed when I held him - that he looked just like you. Do you have any baby pictures? I'd love to see if they look like Noah."

"I doubt it. Doreen's not the sentimental type." Paul filled her in on Doreen's last visit and seeing his dad for the first time since he was little.

"So, what did you think of your dad?" she asked as she took another bite of her pie.

Paul shrugged. "I don't know what to think yet. Ty and I are proceeding with caution."

Leah held out a bite of pie for Paul and he opened his mouth for her to feed him. He smiled as he chewed and then said, "I think I enjoy eating ice cream with you better."

Leah embarrassed herself by blushing as Paul just grinned.

On the way home, they stopped at the store so Leah could get a few things for the baby then they made their way back to her dorm and into her room. "I need to give Noah a bath then I'll feed him and put him down for the night. Well, until around 2 a.m. that is."

"Can I help?" Paul asked.

"Sure. You get him undressed, except for his diaper, you take that off last, and I'll get his bath ready." Leah left him to go into the bathroom and filled the little baby tub.

"He's so little. What if I hurt him?" Paul asked anxiously.

Leah laughed and stuck her head out of the bathroom. "You won't hurt him. He's tougher than you think."

Paul finally got his clothes off and Leah picked him up and took him in the bathroom to give him his bath. Paul stood by and watched as she handled him like a pro. She dried him off then wrapped the towel around him and laid him on the bed. "OK, Dad. Grab a diaper."

Paul picked one up and Leah gave him instructions on how to put it on. As he worked at it, Noah started crying. "Did I hurt him?" he asked.

"Would you quit worrying about that? He's a tough little guy. Besides, he's just hungry." Paul finished snapping his pajamas up and then Leah picked him up and moved to the couch to feed him.

Paul cleaned up the bathroom then joined Leah on the couch. "This may sound like a stupid question, but, what does that feel like?"

Leah looked over at him and smiled. "I don't know . . . like he's sucking on my nipple." Paul laughed and she said, "What do you want me to say? I don't know how to describe it. It's kind of cool I guess. I'm the only one that can do this for him, you know?"

"I guess I'm kind of jealous of that," Paul admitted.

"Of him or me?" Leah asked with a sly smile.

"Both," Paul grinned.

Leah burped Noah and then got up to lay him in bed. As soon as he was settled, she joined Paul on the couch again and looked over at him to say, "I still can't believe you're really here."

"Yeah, me either."

"Paul . . . can you ever forgive me? I thought I was doing the right thing, but I know now it wasn't. I cheated you out of so much . . . "

"Look, Leah, I don't want to fight anymore. I'm tired, you're tired, let's just go with the truce right now, OK?"

With a sigh, Leah relented, "Yeah, OK."

They sat there in silence for awhile then Leah said, "Sorry I don't have a TV. Luxury I couldn't afford."

"Yeah, I get that."

"I'm usually studying anyway, so . . . "

"Well, go ahead if you need to. Don't let me stop you."

"Are you sure? I have another final coming up day after tomorrow. That will be my last one."

Paul smiled and reached out to brush her bangs from her eyes. "I'll try not to be a distraction, but I can't promise."

Leah grinned at him. "Well, I could use a distraction every now and then." She surprised him by leaning forward and putting her lips against his. It was supposed to be a simple kiss, but Leah found herself unable to pull away from him. She had missed his lips so much . . . she scooted closer and wound her fingers into his hair as her lips moved with his.

Paul groaned and wrapped his arms around her. It had been way too long since his arms had held her. His tongue found it's way into Leah's mouth and was gently caressing hers. They were both quickly losing control of their senses . . . they were drowning in the physical pleasure of touching each other again.

As Paul's hands began to roam, Leah leaned into him and sighed. Suddenly, Paul pulled away and she opened her eyes and looked into his face. "What?"

"Leah . . . this is very hard for me to say, but, I still need some time . . . "

Leah slid away and quickly said, "No, I get it. It's OK. I need to study."

Paul reached out and touched her arm. "No, I don't think you do. I'm not . . . rejecting you. God, I know I sound like a chick or something, but, my emotions are all over the place right now. I'm still tired from the drive, and pissed off at you for not telling me, and I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I have a kid. I don't know. It's a lot to deal with, you know?" He ran his hand over his eyes and leaned back into the couch cushions.

Leah smiled at him. "I really do get it, Paul. It's OK." Shoving herself off of the couch, she picked up her book bag, then asked, "Do you want something to drink? I have iced tea and Pepsi, I think."

"Sure. Pepsi," Paul grunted. He was feeling unsettled and figured it was just because he was tired. Leah came back and handed him a Pepsi then sat down on the floor in front of the couch to get her books out of her book bag, quickly spreading them out to start her study routine.

Paul opened his Pepsi and took a sip just as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Paul." It was Tyler.

"Hey, Ty. Everything OK?"

"Um, yeah . . . but, I just got a phone call . . . from Mom."

Paul sat up straighter and said, "What? At Sam's?"

"No, I came home because Travis wanted his Thomas pajamas and he left a book here he needed for school, and the phone rang so I answered it, and it was her."

"What the fuck did she want? Let me guess . . . it had something to do with money."

"Yeah. After she ran through her 'Oh sweetie, how are you?' bullshit, she started asking questions. I guess she found out that Jim sent us some money, and she wanted to know how much."

Paul closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. _When was that woman going to leave them the hell alone? _"What did you tell her?"

"I told her I didn't know what the hell she was talking about. Then I told her Merry fucking Christmas and hung up on her."

Paul let out a short laugh that made Leah turn and look at him. "You did? Seriously?"

"Yep."

"Good for you, bro. I guess some of me is rubbing off on you."

"Yeah, whatever. I just wanted you to know."

"Thanks, Ty. I'm glad you called. You guys doing OK?"

Tyler told him that Travis cried last night when he put him to bed. At first, Emily had given them separate rooms, but it upset Travis to try and sleep alone. He was too used to Tyler sleeping in the same bed with him. So, Tyler gave up trying to get him to go back to his own room, and just moved over and let him sleep with him.

"I'm sorry, dude. I know it must be tough for you never getting to sleep without your little brother there."

"It's OK. I guess I'm used to it. He misses you . . . a lot. Could you maybe call him? It would help, I think."

"Sure. I'm sorry. Today's been kind of a rough day. I'll call him. Wait, is he in bed yet?"

"Probably not, since I'm still at the house. I'm heading back right now."

"Ty, you shouldn't be out by yourself this time of night, not with those hikers getting killed just a couple of nights ago." Leah's head popped up to look at him when she heard that.

"Yeah, yeah, I already got the lecture from Sam. He drove me over."

Paul smiled at that. "Good. OK. You go back with Sam and I'll call Trav."

"Paul? Is everything . . . OK? With you and Leah?"

Paul looked over at Leah, and smiled. "Um, not quite yet. But it will be."

"Thank God! OK, see ya."

"Yeah, bye." Paul hung up and smiled at the phone. He never would have guessed when those kids moved in that he would come to love them as much as he did.

"Everything OK?" Leah asked.

"Yeah. Ty got a call from Doreen. He handled it like a pro." She smiled at him, and he added, "You know, I was so pissed when she dumped those boys on our doorstep and took off. But now . . . I realize what a really great thing that turned out to be."

Leah grinned. "Look at you, you big softie."

Paul rolled his eyes and said, "Don't you dare tell anyone. Especially the pack. I gotta a reputation to keep up, you know."

Leah laughed softly then said, "Speaking of the pack . . . what was that you said to Ty about hikers getting killed? Was it bloodsuckers?"

"Well, we were out on patrol when I learned your little secret from Seth. I just quit and took off for home. Sam came to get the boys and told me to go. So, I guess I'm not sure." Paul frowned for a moment as he thought about that. He was sure Sam would keep the boys safe, but still . . . he didn't like the thought of not being there to protect them.

Paul dialed Sam's number and when Emily answered, he asked her quickly about the hikers and what the pack found out. "Sam doubled patrols, but they haven't come across anything, so he thinks it probably was a bear."

Paul let out a sigh of relief. "Good. I felt bad for just leaving . . ."

"Uh, I think you had a good reason! How is she, by the way?"

"Good. And Noah is amazing."

"I can't wait to see him."

"I actually called to talk to Trav. Is he still up?"

"Yes. Hold on." She covered the phone and he heard her call for Travis.

"Paul?"

"Yeah, buddy. How ya doin?"

"OK. I miss you. When are you coming home?"

"In a couple of days. School OK today?"

"Yeah. Emily packed my lunch today and she used strawberry jelly instead of grape on my peanut butter sandwich. It was kind of good. And she put in six cookies and told me to share with Carly."

Paul smiled. "That sounds good. Did you?"

"Yes. She liked them."

Paul let Travis talk for awhile then he told him it was getting late and he should get to bed. "Can I talk to Leah first?" Travis asked.

"Just a minute," Paul told him. He tapped Leah on the shoulder. "He wants to talk to you. Is that OK?"

Leah smiled and took the phone. "Hey, Travis."

"Hi, Leah. Tyler told me you had a baby. Did you really?"

"Yes, I did."

"Emily is going to have a baby."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Are you coming home with Paul? He told me he was bringing you home."

Leah smiled and looked at Paul. "I think so. I really miss you."

"I miss you, too. Will you bring the baby too?"

"Yes, of course I will."

"OK. Emily says I gotta go to bed. Good night, Leah."

"Good night, little man." Leah handed the phone back to Paul.

"Hey, buddy, I'll see you soon, OK?"

"Yeah."

"Be good for Sam and Emily."

"I will."

"Good night, Trav."

"Good night." Paul closed the phone and sat staring at it.

"You miss the little booger, don't you?" Leah asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"Me, too. He told me that you said you were bringing me home. Is that true?" Leah asked.

Paul smiled. "Uh, yeah, I may have said something like that."

Leah smiled back then she turned back to her books.

"What, no answer to that?" Paul asked. "No argument?"

Without looking up, she said, "Nope. We have a truce, remember?"

Paul let out a short laugh then he slid off of the couch to sit on the floor beside her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close then said, "I have missed you, Leah. A lot."

She turned to look at him. "Yeah? Good to know." He leaned forward and put a gentle kiss on her lips. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"Maybe," he said against her lips. She put her book down and turned to him and kissed him back. They sat there on the floor, lightly kissing each other for a few moments then Paul pulled away and leaned his forehead against Leah's. "I am beat, Leah. Do you mind if I stretch out on the couch?"

"Nope," Leah said. "I'm almost done here. I could use some sleep, too."

Paul kissed her again and then said, "Good night."

"Good night, Paul."

Standing up, Paul took off his jeans and t-shirt and laid down on the couch in just his boxers. Leah got him a blanket and pillow and he settled in for the night. As much as he wanted to sleep holding Leah in his arms, he still felt like he needed a little space from her to work through his feelings.

Leah picked up her books and changed into some pajama pants and a t-shirt then crawled into her bed. As she made herself comfortable, she looked over at Paul on the couch. She smiled as she thought about what Travis had told her. He was planning on taking her home with him. He would forgive her. She would see to it.


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

AND I LOVE HER

The next morning, Leah reluctantly got up and showered, dressed, brushed her teeth, fed Noah and then pulled out her books. She laid Noah on a blanket on the floor beside her and let him stretch and play a little while she studied.

Paul finally woke up and looked over at them and smiled. "Hey. Why didn't you wake me?"

Leah looked up from her books and smiled back. "You needed your sleep. You still snore, by the way."

Paul chuckled at that as he sat up and stretched, noticing that Leah snuck a peek at him as he did so. He liked that she was checking him out. It was nice to know he wasn't the only one who missed sex. Scooting off of the couch, Paul crawled across the floor to lay down beside Noah. "Hey, little man," he said softly. "I didn't even hear you get up with him in the night. I must have really been out."

"You were exhausted. You've been sleeping for 9 hours straight."

"I can't even remember the last time I slept that long." Noah was holding his father's finger while Paul gazed at his little face. He was still amazed by everything Noah did. Finally he gently pulled his finger away and sat up. "Mind if I shower? I really need one."

"Nope, go ahead. Clean towels are under the sink."

Paul reached over, put his hand on Leah's cheek then kissed her on the lips. As he pulled away he said softly, "Good morning."

Leah returned his smile and said, "Good morning, baby daddy."

Paul snorted and looked over at Noah. "Did you hear what your mommy called me? Huh?" He gently ran his finger over his little belly as he smiled down at him. Noah surprised him by smiling back. "Oh my God, Leah! Did you see that? He smiled at me!"

"Yeah, he does that," Leah said as she finished highlighting a sentence in her book.

"What do you mean, 'Yeah, he does that?' He SMILED at me!"

Leah looked up at Paul's shocked face and laughed. "I mean, yeah, he smiles." She looked down at Noah and smiled. "And it's so cute, isn't it? You like to smile for Mommy, don't you?"

Noah smiled at her and she looked at Paul and said, "See? He smiles."

Paul just shook his head. "I have so much to learn about babies."

"Yes, you do. I have some books you can borrow."

Paul snorted as he stood to head to the bathroom. "See, he smiles," he muttered in a mocking voice. Leah just smiled and went back to studying. 

Standing in the tiny shower, Paul enjoyed the feeling of the hot water running over him. It had been a wild couple of days and he hadn't realized how tense he was until he stood there and tried to let the water relax his muscles. Of course, sleeping on the couch didn't help. He smiled as he thought about how spoiled he was now. He had slept on a couch for months, and now that he had his bed, he hated being back on a couch even for one night.

As Paul stepped out of the shower and dried himself, he realized his bag was in the other room, so he wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the door. Leah looked up as he walked toward her and felt her heart stop. Paul's black hair was wet and water droplets ran down his muscular chest to his rock hard abs. Her mouth went dry as he leaned down in front of her to pick up his bag and she knew that towel covered his taunt ass. It brought up memories of those nights she spent with Paul, when Noah was conceived. Sex with Paul . . . that was definitely something she had missed very much.

Paul turned around and smiled. "I forgot my bag . . . are you alright?" He noticed she was staring and she looked a little out of breath.

Leah shook her head then quickly buried her nose in her book. "I'm fine."

Paul grinned as he realized she had been checking him out again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to flaunt my hot sexy body in front of you like that. Kind of inconsiderate of me." Leah rolled her eyes and tried hard to focus on the words on the page in front of her. "Were you waiting for the towel to accidentally fall off? Cause I can arrange that," he said wickedly as his hand went to the towel.

"Just go get dressed, will ya?"

Paul laughed and walked on by. "OK. If you insist. But I know you're still thinking about it," he said as he closed the door and Leah looked down at Noah to say softly, "Please don't take after your daddy and be such an insufferable jerk."

"I heard that!" Paul called out.

Leah laughed and decided she had really missed Paul. A lot.

They spent the day together, Leah teaching Paul how to take care of the baby. She even expressed some of her milk and put it into bottles so he could help with the feedings. Of course he thoroughly enjoyed watching that process.

Leah spent some time in the afternoon studying while Paul spent time with Noah. She kept glancing over at him as he talked to Noah and played with him. Her heart ached to see him and know that she had kept him from his son.

Finally, Noah fell asleep and Paul laid him in his crib. "I'm getting hungry. How about I go and get us some food? Or do you want to go out again?"

Leah looked up at him. "Um, I don't know. I guess I want to stay in, if that's OK. It's kind of cold and nasty outside." It had been spitting snow all day, and the wind was blowing it around. "I really don't want to take Noah out in this."

"I should have thought of that," Paul said. He hadn't had to worry about the cold for so long, he just didn't even think about the weather most of the time.

"It's OK. You'll get used to it."

Paul smiled at her. "I hope so, for his sake. OK, I'll go get us something. Any preferences?"

"Nope," Leah shrugged. "Surprise me."

Paul zipped up his sweatshirt and leaned down to kiss Leah. "Be back soon." Then he opened the door and left.

Leah smiled and wondered if he even realized that he automatically kissed her before leaving. She decided she could really get used to that.

Paul returned in a little while with an armload of food. "Are we having a party, or is this all for us?" Leah said as she helped him with all of the containers.

"I'm hungry, and I couldn't decide what to get, so I got a variety. Kind of like a buffet," he added with a grin.

Leah helped him open all the bags and containers and then got them both a fork. He had fried chicken and mashed potatoes, egg rolls and fried rice, tacos and Leah smiled as she saw the container of chocolate ice cream. They sat on the floor with the food spread out in front of them and dug in.

Leah had to get up in the middle of her meal and feed Noah. He latched on and she picked up an egg roll and took a bite. Paul snickered at her. "What? I'm hungry and sometimes he takes awhile."

They chatted while they ate and it was more like old times for Paul. Being with Leah was so easy . . . so natural. They could spend months apart, but as soon as they were back together, they fell into this easy rhythm. That had to mean something, didn't it? He knew it did. He knew he couldn't live without her. He had tried that and he was miserable, and so was everyone around him. They needed to be a family, in the real sense of the word: a mom, a dad and a baby . . . something he had never had.

"You're quiet. You OK?" Leah asked as she moved Noah onto her should to burp him.

Paul gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I'm good," he answered as he began gathering up all of their trash and putting it back into the bags.

"I'll do that. It's only fair that I clean up since you went out to get it," Leah told him.

"No, that's OK. You take care of Noah. I got it." Paul cleaned up all the trash and then gathered up the other trash and took it out to the dumpster. When he came back, Leah was in the bathroom starting Noah's bath.

Paul walked into the room to see if he could help again. "You want to do it?" Leah asked. He looked at her warily and she smiled. "You won't hurt him, I promise. You're very good with him."

So, Paul took Noah's diaper off and placed him gently in the tub. Leah handed him the wash cloth that she had filled with baby soap and Paul softly wiped at Noah and smiled and talked to him while Leah washed his hair. When they were done, Paul lifted the baby from the tub and wrapped him in the towel that Leah held out for him. He carried him to the bed and laid him down to put on a clean diaper and his pajamas.

"Look at you. You're a daddy," Leah whispered.

Carefully picking Noah up, Paul kissed him on the head as he said softly, "Yeah, I am." He then moved to sit on the couch and hold him for awhile.

Leah cleaned up the bathroom and then joined him on the couch. "So? Are you getting more used to the idea that you are a dad?"

Paul looked up at her and nodded. "Yeah. I mean, he's so amazing. I can't wait until he's big enough to throw a ball or go fishing. It's going to be so awesome."

Leah laughed at that. "What do you think Travis will think of him? I'm afraid he might be a little jealous at first."

"Why?"

"Why? Travis idolizes you, you have to know that. I don't think he will like sharing you. You will have to be careful to still spend time with just Travis when you can."

"I never thought of that," Paul admitted. "You really are good at this."

"Hardly. I just read alot."

Leah's phone rang and she got up to answer it. "Hey, Mom. Yeah, he's here." She looked over at Paul and rolled her eyes. "No, he didn't kill me, but I think he said something about strangling me." Paul chuckled at that. "He loves Noah. We were just talking about how good of a dad he is. He even gave Noah his bath tonight." Leah talked to Sue for a few minutes and assured her that they were talking things out. "I don't think you need to plan on coming to get me, no. I think Paul will be bringing us home."

"Good, it's about time. Did he say anything about getting married?" Sue asked excitedly.

"Mom, I gotta go. Noah is getting hungry. We'll talk later, OK?" Leah lied. Noah was peacefully staring at Paul.

"Yeah, OK, you can't talk right now. I get it. Alright, you two behave. I just want you to know that I am expecting a wedding soon."

"Gee, thanks, Mom. No pressure there."

Sue laughed and added, "Oh, wasn't there? I can work on that. I'll let you go. Call me when you can talk. Bye."

"Bye, Mom." Leah hung up and sighed. "Mothers."

"Hey, be thankful for the one you have. She's a saint compared to the woman who gave birth to me," Paul told her.

Leah sunk down onto the couch and smiled. "I know. I love her, but she's so damn bossy sometimes."

Paul laughed at that. "Like mother, like daughter." Leah shot him a look which made him laugh harder. He finally quieted and said, "OK, I'm sorry. She just loves you and wants what's best for you, you know." Noah started fussing and Paul tried the pacifier.

"I know," Leah sighed. "I just wish she would butt out sometimes and let me figure things out for myself."

"And I guess that goes for me, too?" Paul asked. Leah just looked at him. "Is this what all this has been about? You want me to just butt out and let you figure this out?"

Leah huffed and replied quickly, "No, I don't want you to butt out. Noah is your son, too, Paul. I know that, and I know that you will never forgive me for what I've done and I really can't blame you." Leah took a crying Noah from Paul and stood up to put him on her shoulder and rub his back. "But, if you could look at this from my point of view. My life was taken away from me and I became someone I hardly recognized. You were there, Paul. You remember who I was before Sam . . . before the almighty wolf gods decided we weren't right for each other."

Noah let out a belch and Leah kissed him on the head then put him down in his crib with his pacifier and covered him up. She straightened and turned to Paul. "Losing Sam, losing my dad, then turning into a fucking dog . . . it was too much. I had no idea who I was anymore."

Paul nodded sympathetically. It had been a rough time for her, he knew that well. Leah sunk down onto the opposite end of the couch and went on. "Then, you came along and offered to be my friend. NO ONE wanted to be around me for longer than two seconds, and you offer to be my friend? YOU! You were as much of a jerk as I was. So, I figured, why the hell not?" Paul smiled. "And so, we became friends and for the first time in a very long time, I started to remember who I was. You helped me to see that." The pillow on the couch found its way onto her lap and she clutched it to her. "But then, the fucking wolf gods had to strike again and let me know that apparently I wasn't worthy of love." She turned her head to look out the window at the swirling snow. "I was afraid if I gave into the self-pity this time, I would never be able to come back."

Paul tried his best to remain quiet. He realized it was important for Leah to get this out.

Turning back, Leah went on, "So, I convinced Mom to go with me to the council and make them let me out of the wolf contract to go to school. I knew I had to get away. I had to save what little I still had of myself. And, Paul, as hard as it was to leave . . . it was the best thing I could have done. I dove into my classes and loved them! I engaged my brain and was learning so much . . . it was so . . . thrilling! I started to feel like I wasn't such a failure, like maybe I had a purpose after all. So I couldn't procreate, big deal. Maybe I could be a healer."

Leah looked down at her hands. "Then I got that call from Jared . . . he begged me to come home." Her eyes found Paul's and she said softly, "You needed me and I ran to you. And . . . " she closed her eyes, "as awful as it was that Ruth was gone," she found his gaze again, "that time we spent together was so . . . I don't know, magical. I never wanted it to end."

Paul finally spoke. "You know I didn't either. I would never have gotten through any of that without you."

Leah smiled softly. "I know. I could feel that. That long bus ride home, I kept thinking how could this be? I wasn't supposed to be meant for you. Rachel was. Why didn't you need her like you needed me? I was confused as hell, so, I threw myself back into my studies and things were back on track until . . . I realized I was pregnant."

Leah's face lit up. "I was pregnant! It was like being able to say to the wolf gods, 'Fuck you! I _can_ procreate! I _can_ spawn wolf cubs!' It was so . . . liberating. But, after I came down from my high of beating the wolf gene, I realized I had decisions to make. Not about whether to have this baby or not. That was NEVER in question. From the very first, I wanted this baby more than I had ever wanted anything. But I realized, for the first time, _I_ could make the decisions, _I_ could choose what to do . . . not the wolf gods, or Sam, the all-mighty Alpha, or the tribal council, or my mother . . . me. _I_ was in charge of my own body. _I_ could decide. It was a very powerful feeling."

"But, when I went home for the wedding, and I saw you and the boys and we danced . . . I almost cracked. I felt such a pull . . . I could feel how much you still loved me, and that night on the cliff . . . I knew how much you still wanted me. God I wanted you, too, so much . . . " Leah drew in a deep breath. "But after arguing with myself that night, I finally decided that I liked being in charge and I was terrified if I told you, all that power would be in your hands, or mom's, or the council's . . . and I freaked. I couldn't do it. So, I came back, and then Mom insisted on coming out to help me move into the new dorm. She didn't want to wait until Christmas to see me again." A huge grin spread over Leah's face. "And you should have seen her face when she saw my pregnant belly! Oh my God, I wish I would have had a camera ready. It was priceless."

Paul just shook his head in disapproval at her. "I know, I know it was so wrong to just spring it on her like that, but, like I said, I was on a power trip. But Seth, well . . . Seth was another thing altogether. When he looked at me, I just saw . . . shame. He told me later it wasn't that I was knocked up and not married, it was that I was keeping it from you. We all know how you feel about your brothers . . . you would kill anyone who tried to hurt them. Seth knew that if you felt that way about your brothers, you would definitely feel even more like that for your own child. And I knew he was right. I promised both of them I would think more about telling you."

Leah again turned to the window. "And I did, but, I didn't act on it soon enough. Mom came back out for Noah's birth, and was there for me in the delivery room, feeding me ice chips, and rubbing my back . . . holding me up while I pushed . . . " she turned her gaze to Paul, "all those things you should have been doing for me. I lost it right there. All the shame, all the regret came pouring in on me." Her eyes filled with tears. "I will never forgive myself for keeping you from that. It was the most incredible day of my life, giving birth to my son, and his father wasn't there." Tears were rolling down her cheeks and it was Paul's undoing.

He couldn't take this shit any longer. It was time to end it. No matter her reasons, no matter what happened, it was time to move on.

Paul pulled her close and held her as she cried, his hand rubbing her back, just like she had done for Noah when he was crying earlier. Finally she sniffed and sat up to look at him. Paul took her face into his hands. "Leah, we can't go back and change what's happened, so it's done. I want us to move on past this. Is that what you want?"

Leah nodded, "Yes, that's what I want, too. But I don't know how to make this up to you."

"Well, maybe we'll just have to have another one so I can see what I missed."

Leah stared at him in surprise. "Really? You would want that?"

Paul smiled and took his hands away from her face to reach into his pocket and pull out a small box. "Only if you agree to marry me." He opened the box and she gasped. There on the blue velvet was a white gold ring with a small single square cut diamond. "Look, Leah. I came here for three reasons. The first was to meet my son. The second was to find out why the hell you didn't trust me enough to tell me. And the third," Paul took Leah's hand and gazed into her eyes, "The third and most important reason was to get you to agree to marry me and put me out of my misery. I can't live this way any more, Leah. I love you so much, and I am so miserable without you." His voice cracked and he stopped to clear his throat and try to hold back his tears. He felt like such a fucking wimp!

As he held out the ring he explained, "This was my grandmother's. She told me she was saving it for me to give to my 'special girl.' I think she would be very happy to know that I gave it to you."

Leah stared at him then said, "Paul, I know you want to do the right thing for Noah, but . . . "

Paul's mouth fell open. "Are you fucking kidding me? You think I only want to marry you because you had my baby? Think about the time we spent together in January . . . how perfect that was for us. In May it took every ounce of strength I had not to kidnap you and take you straight to the elders to beg them to marry us. I can't live without you any longer and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way. Now please quit being so damn stubborn and just put this ring on your finger!"

Leah laughed through her tears and held out her hand. Paul slid the ring on and asked, "Is that a yes?"

Shaking her head, Leah said softly, "No." He started to say something and she put her hand over his mouth. "It's a hell yes!"

Paul laughed as he pulled Leah close and buried his face against her neck. "Thank God. This nightmare is finally over." After a moment, he pulled back and took Leah's face in his hands as he gazed into her eyes. "Are you sure, Leah? Are you sure that you want to leave and go home with me and live with me and marry me and . . . "

Leah's face was lit up and to Paul, he had never seen her look so beautiful. "Yes, I'm sure. I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I want to marry you."

Tell me, Leah," he whispered. "Please just tell me what I want to hear."

Holding his gaze, Leah whispered, "I love you, Paul. With all my heart."

Paul smiled. "Tell me again."

"I love you," she said with a smile as she wound her arms around his neck.

"Now promise me you'll never leave me ever again."

Leah's eyes filled with tears. "I promise I will never leave you again."

Paul grinned at her and said, "Now that's what I'm talking about." Then he put his lips on hers and sighed. He finally felt alive again. Holding Leah in his arms, knowing she would always be his . . . it was a feeling he never thought he would be lucky enough to have again.

Their kissing intensified until they both gave into what they had been denying themselves for all the months they had spent apart. Paul was trying hard to hold himself back. He just wanted to rip her clothes from her and drive himself into her over and over. But he did his best to just enjoy each new sensation and take it slower. Just tasting her lips again thrilled him! He explored her mouth gently with his tongue as she sighed.

Leah's hormones were in overdrive right now. She had a hard time taking things slow. Her hands pulled at his t-shirt until he finally allowed her to pull it over his head. Her hands itched to run over every inch of his muscular body. They started on his shoulders and then ran up his neck and into his hair. As Paul's lips moved over hers she sighed and ran her hands down his chest.

Paul hands were fumbling over the buttons on Leah's blouse until she finally pushed him away and undid each one while she stared into his eyes. He watched as she sat up to slip it off and then she reached around and undid the hooks of her bra and slid that off, too. Her breasts were much bigger than he remembered and he realized that was from having the baby. As his hand moved to touch her, he whispered, "Can I still . . ."

Leah smiled as she realized what he was asking. "Yeah, I think so. But I can't promise I won't leak."

Paul smiled and let his hand graze the tips as she tilted her head back and let out a little moan. He pressed her back onto the couch and kissed her as his hand grazed the soft skin on her stomach. Leah's hands slid down to unzip her jeans and she broke the kiss to whisper, "Help me get these off." Paul did as she asked and then stood up and slid his own jeans and boxers off over his hips.

Leah gasped as she gazed at Paul's erection. It had been way too long since she had seen Paul like this and it was her undoing. She sat up and reached out to take him in hand. It was now Paul's turn to gasp as Leah stroked him. "Leah, stop. It's been too long . . . I might not make it very long."

Leah laughed and pulled him down on top of her. Their lips crashed together again as Paul pulled at her panties. As soon as he had them down, his hand slipped in and his fingers worked their way inside and Leah was swept away. "Yes, Paul, oh God, it's been too long!" She came quickly, too quickly. Immediately, she wanted more.

"Paul, please," she begged as she pulled at her underwear. Paul reached down and ripped them off and moved on top of her. "Yes!"

He hesitated at her opening and whispered, "Is it OK? I mean, are you . . . "

"Yes! Don't stop now!"

Paul smiled as he pushed slowly inside then stopped and closed his eyes to take in the feeling of being surrounded by her. _Leah. She's here, this is real. _He felt her moving beneath him and he started a rhythm which she quickly joined. As they moved together and the heat built between them, Leah realized she never wanted to go without this ever again. Paul took her straight to the edge and then tumbled over with her. "Oh God, yes!" she whispered as her body clenched and she rode it out.

Paul lay there trying to catch his breath as Leah put kisses on his shoulder. "You don't know how happy I am that I'm not dreaming," he told her.

Leah laughed softly and whispered, "Oh yes, I do."

Leah laughed again as Paul rolled off of her and landed on the floor. "Why can't you have a decent-sized bed?" he asked as he looked up at her.

"Sorry about that," she said as she hung over the side of the couch to look at him. "I'll get some blankets and pillows and we can camp out on the floor."

"I don't know. You need your sleep. You can go to bed and I'll be fine here on the couch."

Leah stuck her lip out just like Travis does when he doesn't get what he wants. Paul rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Fine. Get the blankets and pillows."

"Yay!" Leah smiled and stood up to get the bedding. Once she got everything put down like she wanted, she lay down and patted the blanket next to her. Paul grinned and lay down beside her, pulled the sheet up over them then took her in his arms. She sighed and used one of his favorite phrases: "Now that's what I'm talkin about."

Paul smiled and dropped a kiss onto her head as Leah snuggled in and they both fell asleep, happier than either of them had ever been. 

When Noah woke up in the middle of the night, Paul went to the crib and picked him up and changed him then brought him to Leah. She nursed him and then put him back to bed. Paul held out his arms and Leah went to him gladly. They were still greedy for one another and their mouths met as soon as Leah's body stretched out on the blanket. Each of them tried to take it slow, but their hunger was relentless. Leah ended up on top, riding Paul until she came hard.

"I never realized how much I really missed sex," Leah panted as she lay on top of Paul. She felt him chuckle beneath her.

"I did. Every night I realized how much I missed it," he said. That made Leah laugh as she rolled off of him and curled up beside him. "I never want to go that long without sex with you ever again. Got that?"

"Yes, sir. I got that."

They slept and when they awoke in the morning, the sun was just beginning to come up and they made love again, this time much slower, taking the time to relearn each other's bodies, and revisit favorite spots. As Paul tried to catch his breath he whispered into Leah's ear, "I love you so much, baby." Then he propped himself up to look down at her.

Leah smiled into his eyes and whispered, "I love you, too, Paul. You are everything to me. I would walk through fucking fire for you."

Paul grinned and kissed her. "Bout time, buddy."


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

WHEN I GET HOME

Leah went to class to take her last final later than morning then she made her way back to the dorm room. Paul insisted on keeping Noah by himself this time, as Leah was only going to be gone an hour or so. She left some milk in a bottle for him in case Noah got hungry before she got back, and he assured her he could handle things.

She opened the door when she returned to find them on the floor. Noah was on his back on a blanket, kicking and cooing and Paul was smiling and talking to him. "Oh look, buddy, Mommy's home." Paul took one of Noah's hands and held his arm up as he said in a high voice, "Yay! Mommy's home!"

Leah rolled her eyes and put her bag down. "So, how did it go?"

"Well, we went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack, then stopped for a couple of porn magazines, and ended up at the strip club. I even taught Noah how to tuck a buck." Paul gave her a big grin. "You know, guy stuff."

Leah laughed and shook her head at Paul as she sat down next to him. She picked Noah up and held him close and said, "Your daddy thinks he's so funny. Tell him, we only do that on Tuesdays."

Paul chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. "So, how was your last final?"

"It felt very . . . final." Paul put his arm around her and drew her close. "But, it's OK. I'm glad it's over. Now, how about lunch? Cafeteria, anyone?"

Paul groaned and Leah said, "Come on, I have to use up my meal card. And you have to experience campus food at least once."

"Fine," Paul whined.

Leah bundled Noah up and grabbed the diaper bag and off they went. They ended up with several trays full of food, and used up the rest of Leah's meal card. Paul ate his fill and declared it wasn't as bad as Leah had made it out to be.

"That's because you only ate it once. When you eat it every day, it becomes pretty bland," she replied.

After they finished, they made their way back to the dorm so Leah could start packing. She fed Noah and laid him down for a nap then Paul took her in his arms and she found herself taking a short break with him before packing. As they lay there in the afterglow, Leah smiled and said, "I forgot how insatiable you can be."

"Me? I thought it was you!" Paul quipped.

Leah smacked him as he laughed and then rolled out of his arms to get dressed. "Come on, sexy boy, there's work to be done."

Leah finally got dressed again and pulled out some boxes to start packing. Paul helped until there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," he told Leah who had her hands full of baby clothes.

Paul opened the door, shirtless of course, wearing only his jeans, and Leah's friend, Jenny stuttered, "Oh, I'm sorry . . . I was, um . . . was looking for Leah?"

"Come on in, Jenny!" Leah called from behind Paul as he stepped back to allow her and Molly to come inside.

"This is Paul. Paul, this is my friend, Jenny, and her beautiful little girl, Molly. They live here in the building."

"Hey, nice to meet to you," Paul said with a smile.

"Yeah, nice to meet you, too," Jenny said to him. When Paul excused himself to walk to the bathroom to grab a t-shirt, Jenny mouthed "Oh my God!" to her and Leah laughed. Sometimes Leah forgot how the guys from La Push could take your breath away if you weren't used to seeing them on a regular basis.

Jenny put Molly on the floor and got out a few of her toys as she said, "I didn't know you were visiting, Paul." He had walked back into the room wearing a tight-fitting green v-neck t-shirt, which Leah had to admit looked almost as good as no shirt, and plopped down onto the couch beside her.

"Just got here a couple of days ago. I came to take Leah and Noah home."

"Really? For Christmas?"

Leah shook her head slowly. "For good." Then she held out her hand so Jenny could see her engagement ring.

"Oh my God, girl! It's about time!" Jenny cried out. "Good move, Paul, bringing a ring. And it's gorgeous, by the way."

Paul smiled and said to Leah, "I like this girl."

Jenny laughed at that. "Leah told me all about you, Paul, and any idiot could see how much she loves you. I kept wondering why the hell she would stay here and try to do this alone when she had someone like you. I don't have that luxury. I AM all alone. Well, except for my little sweetie pie, here."

Paul looked over at Molly and asked, "How old is she?"

"Just turned eight months. And as you can see, she's crawling now." Molly took off crawling toward Paul then stopped and looked up at him.

Paul smiled at her sweetly. "Hey, there, cutie. How are you?" Molly smiled at him, and he babbled some more at her.

"Wow, look at that. She usually shies away from strangers. Especially men."

"Paul has a way with kids. You should see him with his little brother, Travis."

"Oh, the artist," Jenny replied as she nodded toward the wall where Leah had all of Travis' drawings displayed.

"Yes, that's the one."

Paul held out his hands and Molly patted his large hand with her own little one and smiled at him. He slowly moved to pick her up and she let him. He sat her on his lap and talked softly to her as Leah smiled.

"Well, Leah, I can see you have your work cut out for you. You're going to have to have a little girl next."

Leah turned to her and said quickly, "Not just yet. Maybe in a couple of years."

Just then Noah started crying and Leah moved off of the couch to go and pick him up. "Someone needs a new diaper, huh? Ooh, and it's a stinky one." She made her way over to the bed with Noah and picked up the changing pad and diaper wipes.

"So, Jenny. Are you here to study nursing, too?" Paul asked.

"Yes. I decided I needed to do something to be able to support Molly and me, and nursing pays pretty well."

"So, I take it Molly's dad isn't in the picture at all?"

"Nope. Ran as fast as he could in the other direction as soon as he found out I was pregnant, the asshole. We had only been dating for a month . . . we used a condom, but I guess they aren't always as trustworthy as they should be."

"Sorry." Molly was getting fidgety, so Paul set her down on the floor as he said, "It's hard for me to understand that after holding Noah. Although, I know there are people out there like that. My parents are two of them. My wonderful mother always told me I was a result of too much Tequila and a broken condom. She's real sweet."

"Sounds like it," Jenny commented. "My parents are supportive, although they weren't at first. But once they saw Molly, they both melted. I guess she has that effect on people."

They chatted for awhile until Leah returned with a cleaner Noah. She handed him to Paul then sat down and started packing Noah's things into a box. Jenny's heart swelled as she watched how Paul held the baby and smiled down at him. She wished more than anything that Molly had a father like that.

"So, are there anymore like you at home in La Push? If so, I think I will be visiting this summer."

Paul laughed and Leah said, "Maybe we should hook her up with Embry?"

"You really want to do that to her?"

"Stop it. Embry is sweet." Then she turned to Jenny and said, "And buff, like this guy. We grow them that way in La Push, you know."

"Well, then I am DEFINETLY visiting you this summer!" Jenny and Leah laughed as Paul actually looked just a tad embarrassed. But just a tad, Leah noted.

"We were just getting ready to order some pizza. Stay and eat with us, OK?" Leah asked her.

Jenny smiled and said, "I would love to, thanks."

They spent the evening eating pizza and sharing stories about themselves. Molly played and even let Paul feed her some mashed bananas.

"I am so going to miss you," Jenny said as she hugged Leah before she left. "But I am happy for you."

"I will miss you, too." Leah pulled away and kissed Molly on the cheek. "And I'll miss you, little one. And I want you to plan on visiting this summer. I mean it." She turned to Paul and asked, "Paul, write down your phone number for Jenny, will ya?" Paul nodded and quickly grabbed a piece of paper to do just that. "I want to stay in touch."

Jenny smiled as Paul handed her the paper. "Thanks. I would like that." They all said their goodbyes and then Jenny and Molly left.

Paul turned to her and smiled. "She's really nice. I'm glad you had her here with you."

"Me, too. So, what do you think? You think she and Embry might really hit it off?"

Paul laughed and pulled her close. "Will you stop matchmaking! Let Embry find his own woman."

Leah smiled and inhaled Paul's scent as she pressed her cheek to his chest. "I'm glad you found yours," she said.

"Me, too. And I will never let her go again. Ever." 

As Leah finished packing up the things she wanted to take home with her later than night, she started to get cold feet. She was sitting in the middle of the floor while Noah slept in his crib when Paul came in the door from his trip to the store for ice cream. "Hey, what's up?" he asked as he put the ice cream in the freezer.

"What am I doing, Paul? I am one semester from finishing this degree. How can I just pack up and leave?"

Paul closed his eyes and sighed. He was afraid of this. He knew it wouldn't be that easy to get her out of here. Plopping down on the floor next to her, he put his arms around her to say, "I know, I get that. But you didn't plan on having a baby halfway through this, did you? He kind of changes everything."

As Leah laid her head onto Paul's shoulder, she sighed deeply, "I know. And I love him, I really do. But . . . I feel like such a failure leaving like this."

"You are not a failure. You have learned so much . . . more than enough to help the pack if we need it. And I hate to even suggest this, but . . . maybe there is some way you could work with the leech doctor or something, you know, if there is anything else you need to know."

Leah sat straight up and stared at him. "You want me to go to the bloodsucker and ask him for help? I thought the whole reason for me coming here was so we wouldn't have to rely on him."

"I know, I know. And now we won't have to because we have you. I just meant, if you needed advice or . . . oh I don't know what the fuck I meant. I just want you home, Leah. I know I am being completely selfish here, but I want you and Noah home where I can take care of you both. Is that so wrong?"

Leah smiled and touched his cheek. "No, it's not wrong. It's what I want, too. I just feel bad that I didn't finish what I set out to do."

"Have you talked to someone here about that? I mean, is there a way you can do it online? Or at another school? Something?"

"Yeah, I have. There is one class I can take online, but doing the practicals," she saw Paul look at her curiously. "Practicals are spending time in actual working conditions, like doctor's offices, hospitals, nursing homes . . . places like that."

"We have a hospital in Forks, and a doctor's office and . . . "

"I know. Maybe I can find a way to do this."

"You can. You're stubborn enough, I know that."

She smiled at that then kissed him softly on the lips. He tasted so good. "God, I've missed you."

Paul groaned and pulled her close and kissed her hard and long. He leaned her back until they were laying on the carpet and his hands were making their way up under her shirt.

"Baby, I want you," Paul breathed into her ear.

"I know, me, too," she said quickly as she pulled his shirt over his head. He did the same for her and was reaching for her jeans when Noah started crying. Paul was kissing her lips again and it felt so good, so she tried to ignore his crying until he got louder.

Paul pulled away and looked down at Leah. "Sorry," she smiled. "The other man in my life is calling." He sighed and let her go, rolling to his back on the floor.

Leah got up to pick up the baby. "Hey, there, sweetie," she cooed softly. "I know, you're hungry," she said as she moved over to sit on the couch and feed him.

"Man, that kid eats alot," Paul said as he sat up and looked at her.

"Takes after his father."

"Damn right!" Paul said with a grin.

Paul picked himself up off of the floor and got the ice cream out of the freezer then grabbed a spoon. He sat next to her on the couch and opened the carton and took a bite. Then he dug in and got some more and held it out to Leah. She smiled and ate it then said, "Not exactly the way we planned, huh?"

"Nope. But hey, at least we're half naked." They laughed at that and Leah realized that being with Paul and Noah together was more important than anything else in the world. She would find another way to finish her degree. Right now, she was going home. 

The next morning Paul loaded the rest of Leah's things into the back of the truck and then finally Noah and Leah. "OK, here we go," he said to Leah with a grin as he climbed behind the wheel. Smiling a little sadly, Leah turned and looked out the truck window at her dorm. "I know this is hard for you, Leah, but I know this is right."

Turning back to look at Paul, Leah felt her heart soar just at the sight of him. "Yeah, I know. I'm going home to be with the man I love." She scooted over and kissed Paul on the lips.

"That's me, right?" Paul asked her and she laughed.

"Yes, that's you. Now get going before I change my mind." Leah slid over and buckled her seatbelt as Paul replied with a grin, "Yes, ma'am."

They spent a very long day on the road and pulled up to Sam and Emily's around nine that night because Leah insisted on picking up the boys. "I've spent seven long months missing them. I am not waiting one more night."

So, of course, Paul gave in. Opening the truck door, he stepped out to stretch then open the back door and unbuckle Noah's car seat to carry him inside. Actually, he couldn't wait to see the boys either. This was the longest he had ever been away from them since they moved in, and he missed them more than he wanted to admit. But he was in a hurry to get home, too. Having all five of them under one roof . . . he couldn't believe how badly he wanted that right now. He knew it would be a tight squeeze, but on the drive out to Spokane, he had thought about talking to Chuck about drawing up some plans to add on to the house. Maybe a couple of bedrooms and another bathroom. If Chuck could get him the material at cost and he could do the work himself, he might be able to swing it.

Paul joined Leah at the porch steps then stepped up to open the front door. "Hey, we're home!" he hollered. Nothing. "Hmm, that's weird," he commented as he looked at Leah. "The boys knew we were coming home today."

Just then Travis came running into the living room from the back of the house. "Paul! Paul!" Paul had just enough time to set Noah's car seat down before Travis launched himself into Paul's arms. Travis locked his arms around Paul's neck and buried his face into Paul's shoulder.

"Hey, buddy, it's OK. I'm home now," Paul said lovingly.

Travis popped his head up to say, "I know, I'm glad, but something bad happened. Sam got hurt real bad!"


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

COME TOGETHER

Paul could see by the look on Travis' face he was really scared. Leah had moved closer to Paul just in time to hear Travis announce that Sam was hurt. It was like someone just kicked her in the gut.

"What?" Leah struggled for air. "Is he here, Trav?"

Travis nodded as Paul put him down. "They carried him in the back door." Leah took off at a run to the back of the house. _Sam! _Even though she loved Paul with all her heart, Sam was . . . well, he was Sam.

When she reached the room, Jared and Quill had already laid him on the bed. Emily was trying to help and not fall apart at the same time. There was blood dripping down Sam's face from a huge gash on his forehead. "Hey, tell me what happened," Leah demanded as she marched into the room, moving right into nurse mode.

"Oh, Leah, thank God," Emily gushed. "Help him." Leah nodded and stepped up to take a look at Sam's forehead then she looked over his naked torso for bite marks. Vampire venom was deadly to wolves, but so far she didn't see any. She glanced over at Jared. "Hey! Talk! Tell me what happened so I know what to do here!"

Jared quickly looked over at Emily suddenly wishing she didn't have to hear what he had to say. Leah caught his look and said, "Em, can you get some warm water and a wash cloth so we can clean this? I can't see how bad it is." Emily nodded and ran from the room.

Leah looked back at Jared as she ran her hands over Sam's body to calculate how many bones may be broken. "Well, we were after a leech and suddenly there were two and Sam got caught right between them. The one picked Sam up and squeezed him like a stuffed animal or something then he slammed him into a tree. Embry, Collin and Brady took off after the other one, but as soon as Quil and I got close enough to take this fucker out, he shot up into the trees. Jacob sent Seth to get Dr. Fang then he joined the rest of the pack and Quil and I brought Sam here."

"Are these the same ones that killed the hikers a few days ago?" Leah asked as she looked over the gash on Sam's head. As far as she could tell, it was about four inches long and it was deep.

"Yeah," Quil answered. "Wait, how did you know about that?"

Leah glanced up at Quil. "Paul told me he was patrolling when he found out from Seth about me and the baby. But Em told Paul when he called that Sam figured it was just a bear."

"Sam didn't want Paul to worry about it, I suppose. He had bigger things to worry about, like how to get your ass back here," Jared finished with a grin.

Leah rolled her eyes and quickly took Sam's pulse. She was more worried about his breathing - it was very shallow. She wished she had her stethoscope so she could listen to his lungs, but it was packed in a box somewhere out in Paul's truck. She had a suspicion that Sam had broken ribs and she was afraid one of them could have punctured his lung.

"Look, we have to get back out there. You, OK here?" Jared asked.

Leah nodded. "Yeah, thanks."

Quil walked out of the room, but Jared stopped beside Leah to say softly, "Glad you're back," patting her shoulder before leaving the room to run straight into Paul at the door.

"Shit, Jared!" Paul said.

"Yeah, I missed you, too, bro!" Jared said with a grin.

Jared started to leave, but Paul's hand shot out to catch him. "Hey, wait." Then Paul said to Leah, "Is he going to be OK? How bad is he?"

"I'm not sure yet. He may have a punctured lung. I need the leech doctor here to make sure and to treat him. I don't have any fucking supplies," Leah answered in frustration. She had been thinking on the way home of making this room into a clinic of sorts and supplying it with things she would need in case this happened. She just didn't anticipate it happening so soon.

Paul nodded and said, "I called your mom and asked her to come over and watch Noah and Trav. As soon as she gets here, I'm out with the pack." Paul felt the excitement running through him at the thought of finally getting to chase down a bloodsucker. It had been way too long. Leah saw that excitement and it worried her.

Paul saw that worry on her face and grinned. "Come on, don't do that. You've been out there with me. You know I can hold my own."

"I know," she admitted with a small smile. "But so can Sam . . ."

Paul stepped up and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "I'll be back soon. I promise." Then he turned to Jared and said, "Come on. Fill me in on what the hell is going on out there." They left the room and Leah turned back to Sam. She bent over him and laid her ear close to his chest to try and judge if he was getting enough air.

Emily walked back in with a basin of water and a cloth and moved to the opposite side of the bed to begin cleaning the gash on Sam's forehead. "It's not the gash you're worried about, is it? He's not breathing well. It's something else," Emily asked softly.

Just then, Leah's whole body tensed as she smelled something she hadn't in a very long time . . . _vampire stench_. Carlisle Cullen came into the room with Seth and Tyler trailing behind carrying large cases full of medical supplies. Leah sighed and tried to relax her body. _He's a doctor_, she kept telling herself. _Just treat him like any of the doctors you have been working with for the last few months. Forget that he's a fucking bloodsucker_.

"Leah! You're back," Seth said with surprise as he set one of the cases down.

"Hey, little brother," Leah threw at him with a small smile then she turned to Carlisle who had stepped up to look over Sam. "He has a deep gash on his forehead, two broken bones in his right arm and I suspect broken ribs. His breathing is so shallow, I'm afraid he may have a punctured lung," Leah reported as she glanced up at Emily. Emily looked at her and nodded.

Carlisle also nodded and took out his stethoscope to listen to Sam's lungs. "Is there anything else you need, Carlisle?" Seth asked.

"No, thank you, Seth," he replied. Seth nodded and squeezed Leah's shoulder as he passed on his way out. Tyler followed, but stopped at Leah.

Leah looked at him and could see the worry in his eyes. "Hey, Ty," she said as she folded him into a hug. "Don't worry. Wolves heal very quickly and Carlisle is a very good doctor. Sam will be OK."

With that, Leah pulled back and Tyler gave her a soft smile. "I'm glad you're back," he said shyly.

"Me, too," she answered with a smile. "Look after Travis, will you? I know he's scared. And maybe you could help with Noah?" He nodded and she added, "Oh, I forgot . . . there is a small cooler in the truck. It has a bottle in it for the baby. Could you go out and get it? He'll be hungry soon."

"Sure." Tyler moved quickly from the room to take care of that for her. She smiled at the door and again was so amazed at the heart in that kid, given where he came from.

Leah refocused and stepped over to the cases the boys brought in and she opened them. Inside the first one, she found a blood pressure cuff and a stethoscope. She pulled them out and stepped over to Sam to get a reading. As she strapped the cuff on, Carlisle glanced up and gave her a slight nod.

"I think you may be right about the lung," Carlisle said as he stepped over to the other case and pulled out a portable oxygen tank. Leah marveled at how he just had all of this medical equipment in his car. _Who travels with an oxygen tank?_ After setting it on the table next to the bed, he placed the mask on Sam's face and adjusted the dial to give him enough oxygen to ease his breathing. "This will help some until I can determine how quickly he's healing."

"Emily?" Emily jumped as Leah called her name. She had faded into the background after cleaning Sam's face and she was trying hard to hold herself together as she watched Carlisle and Leah work. "Yes?" she answered weakly.

"Do you have a pad of paper and a pencil? I need to write this down," Leah requested. Emily nodded and moved to get what Leah had asked for.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked.

"112 over 60," Leah reported and Carlisle nodded.

"I need to reset the bones in his arm here quickly . . . they've already started healing." Leah cringed as she remembered how horrible it had been to hear Jake scream as Carlisle had to reset his bones after the fight with the newborns. She quickly shoved that memory from her head as Emily returned with her pad of paper and pencil.

"Thanks, Em," Leah said as she took them from her. She wrote down, _9:30 pm - BP 112/60,_ and set the pad and pencil down. She would check it again in 15 minutes.

"Leah, why don't you go ahead and start an IV and I'll give him something for the pain before I reset the bones. Are you comfortable with that?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, I can do that," Leah assured him. She went to the case and pulled out the supplies she would need as Carlisle again used his stethoscope to listen to Sam's lungs. She realized as she slipped on the rubber gloves, she was a little nervous . . . she had done this many times at school, but this was Sam. This was someone she cared about. But this was why she had gone to school in the first place . . . to take care of those she loved. Bravely swallowing her fear, Leah went to work.

Leah inserted the needle perfectly the first time, taped it down and hooked it up to the IV line. "Em, can you find a nail or something on the wall to hang this bag on? Maybe take down that picture?"

Emily nodded and took the picture that was hanging over the bed off the wall then took the bag of fluid from Leah and hung it on the nail. Leah checked the line for any bubbles then she turned to Carlisle and asked, "Could you check this for me . . . just to be sure?"

With a smile, Carlisle nodded and moved over to take a look. "Good work, Leah. Your brother told me you were doing very well at nursing school."

"I really love it," Leah admitted.

"Good. Your pack will certainly benefit from your education."

"Well, I didn't think I'd have to use it so soon."

Carlisle looked up at Emily and said in a calming voice, "Emily, Sam is stable right now, which is good. I don't see any complications from the wound on his head, but I am going to have to reset the bones in his arm and it will be painful for him. I'm going to give him some morphine to help, but I want you to be prepared for him to scream." Emily nodded silently, trying her best to hold her tears inside. "I suspect that the lung will also heal itself, but I will watch him closely for the next 30 minutes or so. If I don't see improvement, I will have to insert a chest tube. I want you to know that I will do everything I can for him, alright?"

"Yes, I know. I trust you," Emily said weakly.

Carlisle moved to the case and came back with a small bottle. He inserted a syringe into it to load the medication and then he moved to the IV. He pushed the syringe into the IV line and then looked at Leah. "There is more in the case there and he can have more after 4 hours if needed."

Leah nodded and jotted that onto the pad of paper. "How much?" Carlisle told her and she jotted that down, too.

Carlisle looked at Emily and said, "You may want to go out and prepare the others for what they will hear." Emily nodded and left the room. Leah closed her eyes for a moment in worry not only for Sam, but for Tyler and Travis. Again she remembered that day with Jake . . . his screams echoing through the house and out into the yard . . . then running away from it. She had to be braver this time than she was then.

Carlisle looked at Leah and said, "I will need you to stand here and hold him down as best you can." Leah nodded and moved into position. "Ready?"

_NO!_ She wanted to scream. Instead she answered calmly, "Yes."

At the crack of the first bone, Sam's body jerked and his scream echoed around the room and through the house. Emily came running into the room and she quickly moved to the other side of the bed and put her hands on Sam's shoulder to help hold him down. Once he settled down, Carlisle said, "One down, one to go." He looked at both women then said, "Ready?" They both nodded and he quickly broke the other bone and reset it. Again Sam's body jerked and he screamed, this time adding a few obscenities.

It took all three of them to settle him down and make him comfortable and by the time they were done, Leah realized how badly she was shaking. She looked over at Emily who wasn't even hiding her tears anymore. They were rolling down her face as she ran her hand through Sam's hair.

Leah moved over to Emily and put her arm around her shoulder. "It's OK, Em. Sam is strong and stubborn. You know he won't lay there for long. He can't stand not being able to boss everyone around."

Emily actually let out a short laugh through her tears and laid her head on Leah's shoulder. Leah realized then how much she had missed her cousin. They had been so close growing up . . . . she was the sister that Leah never had. Now she had a baby, and Emily was pregnant. That was certainly something they could bond over. Leah decided she would make an effort to do just that now that she was home.

As if on cue, Noah started crying and it immediately got Leah's attention. Carlisle looked over at her and smiled. "Seth also shared with me that you were now a mother. I take it that's him?"

"Yes. I usually give him a bath and feed him and then put him down for the night about now."

"Sam is stable for now. Go ahead if you need to," Carlisle said.

"Paul called my mom to come and take care of him, but I need to see if she's here yet," Leah told him. "I'll be back." She left the room and quickly made her way toward her son.

Leah found Tyler holding a crying Noah while Sue was in the kitchen heating the bottle. Travis ran to her and said, "Leah, the baby is crying!"

Leah hugged Travis to her side and laughed. "Yeah, I know. I bet he's hungry." She had missed him so much and she wished she had time to sit and hold him and talk to him.

"Is Sam gonna scream again?" Travis asked warily.

"No, honey. He's sleeping now. He'll be OK," Leah reassured him. "Here, I'll take him." Leah took the baby from Ty and cradled him close. "Shh, Grandma's hurrying." She walked into the kitchen and smiled. "Hey, Mom."

"Oh, honey," Sue said as she enveloped both her daughter and grandson in a hug. "I have missed you both so much."

"We missed you, too."

Sue let them go and pulled the bottle out of the microwave. She put the top on and shook it up real well then tested it on her wrist. "Alright, give me that baby." Leah handed Noah over to her and Sue stuck the bottle into his mouth. Instant quiet. Sue smiled down at him. "Aww, you feel better now, don't you, sweet pea?"

Leah smiled at her mom and held up her left hand to show her the beautiful engagement ring that now sat there. "So? Don't you have anything to say?"

Sue smiled at her. "You know how I've felt for a long time now. You know I didn't approve of you shacking up with him last winter then having a baby and not telling him. I want you settled, Leah. You have a child together . . . you should be married. It's the proper thing to do."

Leah huffed at her mom for lecturing her. "Whatever. As long as you're happy, I guess," she said.

Sue replied, "It's not my happiness I'm worried about here. This little guy needs a mommy and a daddy, and I'm glad he will have both living under one roof. Besides, anyone can see how crazy you are about each other. I would bet it won't be long before little Noah here has a brother or a sister."

"Mother!"

Sue laughed. "What? I may be old, but I'm not dumb. I mean, you spent what, three nights with the guy and you got pregnant? I hope you're on the pill now, that's all I can say."

Leah laughed along with her mom. "Not that it's any of your business, but . . . yes, I am."

"I have to say, I do admire Paul more and more everyday. If he could manage to get you to come home AND get a ring on your finger . . . well, he is quite a guy."

Leah shook her head and smiled. "Yeah, tell him that. Give him an even bigger head."

"So, when is the wedding?"

"I have no idea. We haven't really hadn't had time to plan anything."

Sue walked out to the living room and sat down in the rocking chair to feed Noah. "Well, you know I'll help with anything you need."

"Yes, I know that, Mom. Well, I can see that Noah is in good hands, so I'll get back to Sam," Leah told her.

"Hey, how is Sam?"

Leah sighed and told her mom what she knew, trying to keep it light in front of the boys. Sue realized that and nodded. "Everything you need for Noah is in the diaper bag."

"I know, honey. We'll be fine. I have good help here," Sue added, looking at the boys, who were planted in front of the TV.

Leah smiled and bent down to Travis. "Can I have a hug, little man?" He nodded and hugged her tight around the neck. "Oh, I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Travis mumbled. Leah pulled away and Travis asked, "Where's Paul? Why did he leave?"

"Well . . . " she glanced over at Tyler. She wasn't sure what Ty had told him about Sam.

"Trav, I told you, Paul had to go out with the other guys to help hunt down the bear that hurt Sam," Tyler said quickly.

Travis looked Leah in the eye and blinked back his tears. "What if the bear gets Paul?"

Leah felt her heart break. She pulled Travis back to her and said, "Oh, honey. Paul will be very careful, I promise. The bear surprised Sam, and he wasn't ready to fight him. But Paul has the pack . . . um the guys with him. They'll be OK."

Travis cried a little into her shoulder then he stepped back and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I have to get back to Sam, OK?" Travis nodded and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Standing up, Leah looked at Tyler. "You know, tomorrow is a school day. Maybe you could try to get him to go to sleep?"

Tyler nodded and Leah smiled at him then turned and made her way back to Sam's room. As she walked in, Carlisle looked up and said, "I need to step out and make a phone call. I'd like to check on my family." He gave her a look and she realized how worried he was about his family being out chasing whoever had done this to Sam, just as much as she was worried about her family. _Weird_.

"Yes, of course," Leah answered. Carlisle nodded with a small smile and moved past her and down the hall. Leah looked over at Emily to say, "He's so nice . . . it's easy to forget he's a bloodsucker."

Emily smiled at that as Leah picked up the blood pressure cuff to take another reading. "Leah?" Leah turned to Emily. "I need to use the bathroom. Can I get you anything? Are you hungry or thirsty?"

Leah shook her head. "No, I'm fine. But you might want to bring in some water for Sam. When he wakes up, he may be pretty thirsty."

Nodding, Emily walked out as Leah strapped the cuff onto Sam's arm and pumped it up then listened closely to get a reading. As soon as she had it, she took off the cuff and picked up the pencil to write it down. That's when she heard Sam's muffled voice, "Why is this fucking thing on my face?"

Leah looked over just in time to see Sam pull the oxygen mask off of his face with his good arm. Grabbing it, she retorted, "It's there so you can fucking breathe! Now put it back."

"Leah," Sam said with a grin before she could cover his mouth. "God, I missed you."

Smiling back, Leah replied, "Yeah? I figured things were pretty quiet around here without me."

"Too quiet. What's wrong with me? Everything fucking hurts! And why do I feel so damned drunk?"

"You let a leech beat the shit out of you. You have broken bones that need to heal, so Doc gave you some morphine."

"Man, this is strong shit," Sam said with a thick tongue.

"Yes, that's why you should be sleeping." Leah leaned down to move the oxygen mask back into place and before she knew it, Sam had grabbed her with his good hand behind her neck and pulled her face to his and crushed his lips onto her mouth. She was stunned for a second or two as his vaguely familiar lips moved over hers then finally she pulled away. "Sam! What the hell?"

"I miss you, Leah. I miss kissing you," Sam slurred. "Among other things," he added with another goofy grin.

_Oh shit_. She knew it was the morphine talking, but she couldn't let Emily hear this. "Sam, you need to sleep. I'm putting this mask back on, so behave and let me do my job."

Sam moved his head back and forth to make it difficult for her to get the mask in place. "Sam, I swear I will kick your ass if you don't stop it!"

That made him giggle. "Like when you hit me at the bonfire? That fucking hurt, Leah!" Sam's hand brushed her breast then he smiled as he tried to grab it.

"I swear I'll do it again if you don't knock it off!" Leah warned as she stood with her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Is he awake?" Emily asked as she walked in with a pitcher of ice water and a cup.

"Yes, and he is acting like an ass," Leah huffed as she slapped Sam's roaming hand then stepped back and gave him a mean look.

Emily set the water down and moved to the other side of the bed. "Oh Sam, I was so worried," she gushed as she leaned over him.

"Why? I'm fine," Sam answered with a lop-sided grin. "I feel great."

"I'm sure you do," Emily replied looking at Leah as if to ask if it was the morphine. Leah nodded and Emily said, "You won't feel so great after the morphine wears off."

"I need to go and help the guys . . .," Sam said as he tried to sit up. "_Holy fucking shit_!" He winced in pain as Emily helped him lay back down. "Fuck that hurts!"

"I tried to tell you, Sam. You have a broken arm and quite a few broken ribs. One of them punctured your lung. You have to stay still so they heal, you fucking idiot," Leah scolded him angrily.

"Fine," Sam whined. "I can't breathe very well."

"I know. That's why you had the mask on. Now shut up and let me put it back on," Leah insisted. Sam nodded as Leah finally got the mask in place then Sam closed his eyes and his breathing evened out. Leah looked over at Emily to ask, "Why do men turn into 5-year-olds when they're sick?"

Emily laughed as Carlisle came back in. "How is he?"

"He's awake and acting like an ass. So, I'd say he's just fine," Leah reported.

Carlisle chuckled as he moved over to Sam and took out his little flashlight. "Sam? It's Carlisle Cullen." Opening one of Sam's eyes with his thumb, he shined the flashlight back and forth checking to see how his pupils dilated. "How is the pain?" Carlisle asked as he opened the other eye and flashed the light back and forth.

Leah held the mask up so Sam could answer, praying he would behave now. "It's OK if I don't move," he answered.

"How about here," Carlisle asked as he felt around Sam's rib cage. Sam jumped and cried out. "Sorry about that. Is that tender there?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. You have some broken ribs and I believe that one of them punctured your lung. That's why are you are experiencing difficulty breathing. But you seem to be healing at an exceptional rate, so I believe you will be fine in a few hours. But you need to lay still and rest and let your body do the work for you."

Sam nodded and then said, "I'm thirsty. Can I have some water?"

"Yes, of course," Carlisle answered.

Emily stepped up with a cup of water and helped him drink. Carlisle moved to Leah and said, "I think he needs to stay on the oxygen for a couple of more hours at least. By morning, you can take out the IV and then you be the judge on how his bones have healed. If you think he can handle it, let him move around, alright?" Leah nodded. "I need to get out there and check on my family." Holding out a business card, he added, "Here is my cell phone number if you have any questions at all."

Leah took the card with a nod and slid it into her pocket. "Thanks."

Carlisle smiled then told her, "You are a good nurse, Leah. Come and talk to me at the hospital sometime. I would like to help you get set up here."

"I was thinking of doing just that on the way home. I didn't realize I would need it so soon. And thank you. I will come to see you."

"Good." Carlisle turned to Emily and explained that he would be leaving and he was confident that Leah could handle things. Emily thanked him and told him she would walk him out. They left the room and Leah turned to Sam.

"Leah?" Sam had removed the mask again.

"Sam, please, you need to leave this . . . "

"I know. I just want to say I'm sorry. For before."

"Well, I think I'll survive. I mean, it's not like you've never kissed and groped me before."

Sam smiled at that then replied, "Yeah, but now I'm a married man. Probably not a good idea."

"Probably not. Let's just chalk it up to the morphine. Now go to sleep."

Leah took the mask from him and put it back in place and he closed his eyes. Emily walked back in and Leah said, "I'll stay here tonight with you and monitor him." Emily nodded. "I want to go and make sure that Noah is settled for the night, OK?"

"Sure, go ahead. Why don't you take the room next to this one? You can put Noah there and grab a couple of hours of sleep."

"Em, listen . . . you're pregnant, and you need your rest, too."

"I know. I'll sit with him while you catch some sleep then you can relieve me and I'll sleep. Deal?"

"OK. Deal," Leah agreed with a smile. "But you will come and get me if you need me, promise?"

"I promise, boss," Emily returned with her own smile.

Leah turned to leave the room just as the back door opened and she heard Paul's booming voice, "We got the mother fucker!"

Leah stepped out into the hall to remind him there were kids in the house and he should watch his mouth when he swept her up into his arms and kissed her hard on the mouth. Jared and Quil and Embry all laughed and whooped until he finally set her down again. "What is with all of you? There is a baby in the house! Keep it down!" Leah scolded.

"Ooo, in trouble already with the little woman," Embry elbowed Paul.

Leah glared at him. "Little woman? Really, Embry?" Leah said as she walked slowly toward him. Quil stepped in front of her and defended Embry.

"Come on, Leah, he was just joking. We're excited! The leeches are fucking history!"

Leah rolled her eyes as Paul put his arm around her. "Come on, babe. How's Sam?"

"He's going to be fine. Carlisle told him to rest all night and he should be fine later tomorrow."

Embry and Quil moved past them toward the kitchen then Paul surprised Leah by pulling her into the bathroom across the hall. He was rock hard and he needed Leah . . . now. As soon as the door was closed, Leah found herself pressed against it by Paul's body. His lips crushed down on hers and his hand immediately went to the crotch of her jeans. She managed to shove him away long enough to ask, "Paul, what is with you?"

"The adrenaline rush, baby. I need you, right now." His lips were back on hers as his hand was trying hard to undo her zipper.

"We are not alone, you know. Everyone can hear you . . . "

"Like they don't feel the same thing? Poor Emrbry and Quil . . . they only have Mr. Hand," he said quickly with a grin then his lips found hers again. Her jeans hit the floor, along with her underwear, then Paul pulled her left leg up and propped it on top of his so he could push his fingers inside her. Leah didn't have any time to prepare and she gasped at the intrusion.

"Paul, please . . . " she started, but he kept at it and before long, she felt that heat start at her core and move through her whole body. His lips left hers and trailed down to her neck where his teeth bit into her shoulder and she moaned.

Paul's hand left her so he could yank down his shorts and she could see and feel how badly he wanted her. His hands moved to her ass and he hauled her up his body and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. As he pressed into her and hissed into her ear, "I need to fuck you, baby, please?"

"Yes, yes . . . "

Lifting her up, Paul pushed into her with such force she almost screamed. He covered her mouth with his to keep her quiet and drove into her over and over. She wound her fingers into his hair and pulled to keep herself from crying out. His hand moved down between them and helped her along as he pumped and Leah felt on fire.

"Ohmygod, ohmygod," she whispered over and over until she came so hard she thought maybe her head exploded. Paul grunted and she felt him shake as he came inside her. He panted and struggled to catch his breath, as did she.

Finally, he lifted her off and let her slide down his body to her feet. "Baby, I'm sorry. Are you OK? Did I hurt you?" he asked softly.

Leah laughed at that. "I don't know. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm like that before. That was intense."

Paul grinned. "It was all I could do to get back here to you."

"So, what did you used to do with that adrenaline before me?" Leah wanted to know.

"Me and Mr. Hand got to know each other very well," Paul returned with a laugh. Leah just smiled and kissed him and then he pulled her close and nuzzled her neck. "God, I love you so much, Leah."

"Yeah? That's good, because you're stuck with me now."

Paul smiled back at her then bent down and picked up her jeans and underwear. As he held them out he asked, "Noah, OK?"

Leah took them and pulled them on. "Yes. Mom fed him and I was just on my way to relieve her. Can you get the crib out of the truck and bring it in? Em said we could have the room next to Sam down here. I was going to grab a couple of hours of sleep then get up and take over so she could sleep."

Paul nodded. "Sounds good. I could use some sleep." Giving her a quick kiss, Paul then opened the bathroom door and walked out into the hall, with Leah following to the front of the house where they found Sue sitting in an old rocking chair with Noah.

"Where are the guys?" Paul asked.

"They went home to sleep. Jake, Seth, Collin and Brady stayed out to make sure all was clear then after the others get some sleep, they'll switch," Sue reported.

"Oh, OK. Well, I'll go get the crib."

Leah watched Paul walk out the door as she sunk down on the couch and looked over at Sue. "Did he take the whole bottle?"

"Yes, he did," Sue smiled. "He's been sleeping quite awhile. I just couldn't put him down."

"Tyler and Travis go to bed?"

"Yes. Tyler is so good with his little brother. He took him upstairs and got him to go to sleep."

Leah smiled at her mom. Paul told her that they still fought sometimes like brothers do, but for the most part, Tyler was pretty nurturing when it came to his little brother. "Paul and I are staying here tonight so I can keep an eye on Sam. As soon as Paul sets the crib up, I'll put Noah down for the night. Thanks so much for coming right over."

"Of course. That's what Grandmas are for," Sue replied.

Paul came in and took the crib back to the bedroom then Sue got up and reluctantly handed Noah to Leah. "Alright, here you go," she said. "Call me tomorrow and let me know how Sam is, OK?"

"I will, I promise."

Sue dropped a light kiss on Noah's head then looked up at Leah. "You're a good mom, honey. I always knew you would be if you got the chance."

"Thanks, Mom. I learned from the best."

Sue winked at her then walked to the door. As the door closed behind her, Leah turned to walk to the bedroom. Paul had the crib set up so Leah laid Noah down and covered him up with the blue blanket that Sue had wrapped around him. Paul stepped over, threw his arm over her shoulder and looked down at the baby. "Man, he's a good looking kid."

Leah rolled her eyes then turned into Paul and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"Please, Leah. It was hardly a fight. Embry and Quil had it cornered and I just ran in for the kill. The Cullens got the other one on their side of the line." Leah thought how relieved Carlisle must be that all his family was safe. She hated thinking of him as a person instead of leech, but for some reason, she couldn't help it. "Come on, let's get some sleep."

Paul flipped off the light and they crawled onto the bed. Leah left her clothes on in case she had to get up in a hurry to run to Sam. Paul pulled her close to spoon then threw his huge arm over her and they were both asleep in no time.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

GETTING BETTER

Leah woke to feed Noah sometime around three then after he was asleep again, she walked into Sam's room. She found Emily uncomfortably curled up in a chair and walked over to touch her lightly on the shoulder. "Em, I'm here now. Go get some sleep."

Emily woke and nodded then unfolded herself from the chair to kiss Sam on his forehead before heading off to bed. Leah picked up the stethoscope and listened to Sam's lungs. They sounded good and she decided he could probably do without the oxygen now, so she turned off the tank and removed the mask from his face. His eyes fluttered as she pulled it away. "Sam? It's Leah. How are you feeling?"

Sam's eyes opened slowly and he looked around. "Uh, better, I guess. My chest doesn't hurt as much."

"Your lungs sound good, so I'm going to leave the oxygen off for now," Leah told him. "Let me know if you need it again, OK?"

"Water?" he asked.

Leah poured some water into a cup then put her arm behind his shoulders to help him sit up to drink it. It was strange touching Sam again, even in this capacity. She had spent the last couple of years trying to stay as far away from him as possible . . . now here she was with her arm around him . . . something she never thought would happen ever again. She had spent so many months hating him for hurting her, and now, she could see a little of the old Sam that she had spent so many years loving. Leah's hand moved to brush his hair off of his forehead and he smiled. "I guess I've finally forgiven you, you know. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you and Em and . . . well, to everyone. Shit happens. I should have realized that and moved on."

"I am so sorry, Leah. I will never be sorry enough. All this time, watching Paul fight his imprint so hard . . . made me realize that maybe I quit too soon. I tried to fight it, but . . ."

"Hey, don't do that," Leah interrupted.

"No, it's true. I tried to fight, but not nearly as hard and as long as Paul. The elders told me it couldn't be broken and I just believed them. Don't get me wrong, I love Em, I do, but . . . " Sam stopped as he suddenly noticed the ring on her left hand. Smiling, he said to Leah, "I knew he was determined to get that ring on your finger. Good for him."

Leah looked in Sam's eyes as she said, "Sam, I'm happy. Really happy. There's no reason for you to feel bad about anything. It's in the past."

"I'm glad, Leah. I'll always, always miss you, but . . . I'm glad."

When Sam was finished drinking, Leah let go and took the cup from him. "Thanks," he said softly. "Where's Em?"

"I sent her to bed. I told her she needs to take care of herself and the baby."

"Good. At least she listened to you. I told her the same thing. Apparently all the women in your family are stubborn."

Leah rolled her eyes at him. "I guess we have to be, considering the men we have to deal with."

Sam chuckled. "I guess."

"How's your arm?" Leah asked. "Can you move it?"

Sam tried to move his arm, but winced and shook his head. "Still hurts like hell."

Just then, they heard the back door open. Leah wondered who would be coming into the house in the middle of the night. "Hey, how he's doing?" Jacob asked as he walked into the room. He looked exhausted.

"I'm still breathing, thanks to Leah here. And Doc Fang," Sam answered.

Jake smiled and went to Leah to fold her into his arms for a hug. "God, it's good to see you."

"Really? Tired of no one around to call you a girl?"

Jake's chest rumbled under her cheek as he laughed. "Yeah. Believe it or not, I actually missed that."

Leah stepped back and shook her head at him. "Yeah, right."

"So, what's going on out there? Talk to me," Sam demanded.

"As far as we can tell, there were only two of them. I talked to Jasper at the line and he said they haven't come across anything else and neither have we. Embry, Quil, and Jared are back out there now. I thought we should keep up a 24/7 patrol for now until you decide otherwise," Jake reported as Sam nodded.

"Who were these leeches and why were they here?" Leah asked.

Jake shrugged. "I asked Jasper that. They were obviously newborns. I guess when Jasper and Emmett caught the one on their side, Jasper tried to get some information out of him. He said the thing was so frenzied for blood, they couldn't get anything out of him. He kept trying to attack them so Emmett killed him."

Leah nodded then asked, "So he doesn't think they were part of a new army or anything?"

"Nope, I guess not. Just stragglers."

"Good work, Jake. Sure you don't want this job?" Sam asked with a smile.

"Hell, no!" was Jake's answer. Sam just shook his head at him. "Look, guys, I'm beat. I'm going home to get some sleep. Make sure he gets better soon so I can go back to being just a grunt," Jacob said to Leah.

"I'll do my best," Leah promised as Jacob turned with a wave and left the room then they heard the back door close.

"I see Billy hasn't put his foot down yet about Jake taking Alpha?"

Sam shook his head. "No, but I wish he would. I got a baby coming. It's time he steps up."

Leah smiled at that. "Poor Jake."

"Hey, it's his destiny, not mine. He's next in line to the throne. He just needs to grow up and get over it."

Leah sunk down into the chair and said to Sam, "You need to rest. I'm going to hang out here in case you need something, OK?"

"I'm fine. You don't need to baby sit me," Sam grumbled.

"Oh stop it. You love all the attention and you know it."

"OK, maybe a little," he admitted with a smile. "Especially from you." Leah shot him a look. "Come on! I've had to spend the last couple of years seeing how much you hate me. It's kind of cool to have you be nice to me for a change."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it."

That made Sam smile. "I won't."

Sam finally closed his eyes and went back to sleep, so Leah tried to make herself as comfortable as she could in the chair then she finally drifted off. She woke in the morning to the sound of Noah crying.

"Leah? Baby, Noah is hungry and there are no more bottles." Leah opened her eyes to see Paul standing in front of her holding Noah.

"Leah, please feed the kid! He's loud when he's hungry," Sam grumbled from the bed.

Leah took Noah and put him to her breast and he instantly quieted as he ate. "I'm sorry. I guess I was more tired than I thought," she told Paul. She never slept through Noah crying.

"It's OK," Paul told her then he turned to Sam. "So, how's our almighty Alpha this morning? Grumpy, I see."

Sam wiped his face with his hand and said, "I'm OK. I can finally move my arm a little without it killing me, so I guess it's healing."

Paul nodded then said, "I'm going to hit the shower then grab something to eat. I'm on patrol in a half hour."

"Hey, how are the boys getting to school?" Leah asked.

"Shit. I forgot about that."

"Call Seth. He's got wheels now. He can come and get them," Leah suggested. Her mom had told her that Jake found an old car for Seth and the two of them had been working on it. They just got it running a couple of weeks ago and Seth was loving his freedom.

"OK, I'll go do that." Paul walked out and Leah looked down at Noah. She tried to smooth his hair down, but as always, it stood straight up. Then she glanced up to find Sam staring at her. It was then she realized she hadn't covered herself to feed Noah. But it really wasn't anything he hadn't seen before . . . it had just been a very long time. She suddenly wished that Noah wasn't such a slow eater.

"You look amazing feeding a baby, Leah. So natural," Sam said tenderly. "Something I always hoped I would see. Just always thought it would be my baby."

Leah closed her eyes. "Don't Sam."

"I know. Sorry," he said with a small smile. "You know I'm actually looking forward to being a father. At first, when Em told me, I was terrified. But now . . . I'm kind of getting excited about it."

"Good. You should be." That made her think again about how she taken that all away from Paul. The excitement, the anticipation . . . he never had that. Maybe he would . . . someday.

"Leah? I need to know where you stand on . . . you know, as a pack member. Now that you're a mom, does this mean you aren't going to phase any more?"

Leah looked up at him and sighed. "I don't know, Sam. I haven't phased in over a year, so I don't even know if I still can."

"Do you want to? I mean, I don't want to make you feel like you have to, but if you want to . . . well, you'll always be a member of the pack, OK?"

"Yeah, I got it. Thanks," Leah smiled.

Paul came in and announced that he called Seth. "He'll be here in a half hour. Tyler was already awake and in the shower and I just got Travis out of bed."

Noah was finally finished, and Leah put him up on her shoulder to burp him. "Well, this one really needs a bath. He didn't get one last night. Since the bathroom is right across the hall, I think I will give him a bath and get him dressed for the day. Is that OK, Sam?"

"Sure, I'll be fine."

"Em is making breakfast, so I'm sure she'll be in soon," Paul told him.

Leah walked out of the bedroom to the room next to it and looked for Noah's bag. Paul followed and took the baby from her. "You look tired," he commented.

"So do you."

"This isn't exactly the homecoming I had planned for you, you know."

"Yeah, I know." Leah had found the bag and was taking out clean clothes and the baby shampoo.

"You think Sam will be well enough for us to go home tonight?"

Leah picked up Noah's things and moved toward the bathroom. "Yes. I'm sure he'll be up and out of bed later today."

Paul followed her to the bathroom. Suddenly they heard footsteps running down the hall that could only belong to Travis. "Paul? Leah?"

Paul laid Noah down on the towel that Leah had laid out and then stuck his head out of the bathroom to see Travis come out of the bedroom they had used. "Over here, buddy." Travis came running and grabbed Paul around the waist. "I thought you were gone!"

"Nope, I'm right here. Noah's getting a bath."

Travis came into the bathroom and Leah smiled at him. "Good morning, little man. Noah, say hi to your Uncle Travis."

Travis looked down at the baby and smiled. "He's so little."

"You all ready for school, Trav?" Paul asked. "Seth will be here soon."

"Yeah. Emily is making breakfast. She said I could come and say goodbye before I left."

Paul took Travis across the hall to see Sam. He didn't want him to worry about Sam all day while he was at school. Sam sat up and talked to Travis and he felt much better. He wanted to know all about the "bear" that got him, and Sam told him that he didn't feel like talking about it right now, but maybe another time. Travis nodded solemnly then ran as Emily called him for breakfast. Paul looked at Sam and said, "Well, guess we'll have to come up with a good bear story, huh?"

Seth stopped outside and honked for the boys and they all went to school. Emily brought a plate of breakfast for Sam and told Leah and Paul that she had left some on the stove for them. So, after Noah was bathed and dressed, they made their way to the kitchen. Paul hurriedly shoved down a plate of eggs and bacon then kissed Leah on the forehead and headed out to patrol just as Jared, Embry and Quil walked in. Since all the other boys went to school, it would be just Paul and Jake on patrol.

Leah made some breakfast for all of them while they all fussed over Noah. Once they ate, they all went home to get some sleep. Leah picked up Noah and made her way back to Sam's room to find Sam sitting up talking softly to Emily. "Knock, knock. Can we come in?" Leah asked.

"Sure," Sam answered. "I haven't had a chance to get a good look at this kid yet. Bring him over here."

Leah walked over to the bed and held Noah so Sam could take a look. "I know, I know . . . he looks just like Paul. That's the first thing that everyone always says."

Sam chuckled at that. Then Leah asked, "How's the arm? Can you move it yet?" In answer, Sam lifted his arm and moved it around. "No pain?"

Sam shook his head. "Nope. It's a little stiff, but I think that will work itself out."

"I would still take it easy on that arm today. Don't put any stress on it, OK?" Sam nodded and Leah turned to Emily. "Em, can you take Noah? I'm going to take out this IV and we are going to get Sam here out of this bed."

"Bout fucking time," Sam said softly.

"Hey! No cussing around the baby," Emily scolded. Leah snickered at that as Sam rolled his eyes.

Emily took the baby and Leah went to work on getting the IV out of Sam's arm. "OK, there you go. Just turn your legs to the side here and sit on the edge of the bed for a minute before you stand. You're sure there's no pain? Especially in the ribs?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm sure," Sam said sarcastically.

Leah reached out and tousled his hair then turned and gathered up all of the IV things and threw them into the waste basket. Turning back to Sam, she told him, "OK, stand up, big boy." She stood close in case he was unstable, but he stood up and grinned at her.

"See? I'm fine, Leah. Good as new . . . thanks to you."

"And Carlisle," Leah added.

"And Carlisle," Sam added.

"Well, if you are up to it, you can shower and get dressed and then go about your day. But, I don't think you should go out on patrol today. Too soon. Wait at least until tomorrow. Make Jake suffer at least one more day."

Sam laughed at that. "Sounds good."

"I need to get all of these supplies packed back into these cases then I guess I will head over to Mom's," Leah told them.

Sam walked around the bed then stopped in front of Leah. "Hey Leah? Thanks."

A smile spread across Leah's face as she said, "You're welcome. Anytime."

Emily, still holding Noah, followed Sam across the hall to the bathroom like a little mother hen looking over her chick and Leah smiled. All this time she had spent avoiding them like the plague . . . now suddenly, the hurt was gone. All because of Paul. 

_"So, you gonna marry her or what?" _Jake wanted to know. He and Paul were the only ones on patrol until the others got out of school.

_"Of course I'm gonna marry her. I love her," _Paul answered.

_"Like I couldn't tell. You dumped my sister for her and you've been mooning over her for the last year."_

_"Hey, you know I didn't mean . . . "_

_"Yeah, yeah, I know you didn't mean to hurt Rach. Whatever. So what it's like finding out you're a dad?"_

_"Well, I was completely shocked and pissed before I went to Spokane. But after I held him for the first time, well . . . I was amazed at how much I loved that little baby. It was like instantly I would die for this kid, you know?"_

_"Yeah, I guess. I wouldn't know." _Everyone was amazed at how Jake just couldn't quite let Bella go. It had a year and a half since she married her leech, but Jake still didn't date and he never talked about it . . . ever.

_"Dude, you are gonna have to get over her and move on. It's been way too long. There are a lot of girls here on the rez that would kill to go out with you. You don't need to die a virgin, you know."_

_"Who says I'm still a virgin?"_

_"Bro, come on. Everyone KNOWS you're still a virgin . . . and that's just not right. At least go out and get laid! Who says you have to fall in love?"_

_"Thanks, Paul, for that great advice. You can say all that because you have the love of your life now. You've been killing us with your misery for almost a whole fucking year! And I didn't notice you banging anyone while Leah was gone."_

_"Yeah, I know. I tried . . . once. Just couldn't do it. I guess I get where you're coming from. I couldn't give up on Leah. Not for anything."_

_"Well, I can't give up either. I told Bella I would fight for her until her heart stops beating, and so far, she's still alive. He wants her to finish college before he changes her for some reason, so . . . I guess I keep thinking I might have a chance."_

_"Do what you gotta do, bro. Waiting worked for me. But, maybe it helped cause I got her pregnant. Maybe you should find a way to get Bella alone and plant your seed, huh?"_

_"You always have such a great way of putting things." _Jake stopped and looked out over the cliff at the water below. _"But thanks for the talk, man. Embry and Quil are pretty sick of me, you know? Embry has a different girl every week and Quil is all about Dora the Explorer and pre-school parties. Who knew you would be the one I could talk to? I spent a lot of time hating you."_

_"I know. I was a jerk for a long time . . . and all that with Rachel. I'm really sorry about that. I really never meant to hurt her. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. How is she doing anyway?"_

_"Good. Really good. She found a job at a TV station and she loves it. She even has a new boyfriend, I guess."_

_"I'm glad. She is a really beautiful girl and she deserves someone that can love her like I couldn't."_

_"Come on . . . enough of this girly shit. Let's finish this patrol and go home." _Jake took off and Paul followed. He really felt bad for Jake, and hoped he helped a little, but he was in a hurry to get back to his family. _His family . . . _he liked the sound of that.


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

I ME MINE

Leah had left word for Seth to bring the boys home with him after school, and Emily let Paul know where Leah was and he found them when he was done with his patrol. He walked into Sue's to find Seth and Tyler playing on the X Box, and Travis in the kitchen baking Christmas cookies with Sue and Leah. Walking up behind Leah, Paul wrapped his arms around her waist then whispered in her ear, "Hey, babe. Miss me?"

Leah turned to him with a smile and kissed him on the lips as her answer. Letting her go, Paul walked over to smile down at Noah, who was sitting in his car seat on the kitchen table. "Hey, little guy. You miss me?" He tickled the baby's belly and then chuckled as Noah smiled at his daddy. "Yeah, you did. I missed you, too."

"Paul, we're making Christmas cookies. Want one?" Travis said to Paul as he held a cookie in his hand.

"Sure, buddy." He took a bite and then said, "Man, these are good. Did you help decorate them?" Paul could tell he did by the frosting all over his shirt and face.

"Yeah and they're really good. I already ate three!" Travis told him.

"Travis! I said you could have one," Leah scolded.

Travis just giggled and ran out of the kitchen. Leah looked up at Paul and said, "How on earth can you ever be mad at that kid. He's just too cute for his own good."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Paul agreed with a laugh.

"Paul? Do you realize it's only three days until Christmas? Do you even have a tree? Have you done any shopping?" Leah asked in rapid fire.

Paul looked at her sheepishly. "Uh, no to all of the above."

"Are you kidding me? We have to get a tree! Today! If there are any left. Go get the boys. We're going to get one right now," Leah ordered. Sue looked at Paul over Leah's shoulder and grinned.

Paul smiled as he said, "Yes ma'am," then he left the kitchen to announce to the boys they were going to buy a tree. Travis jumped up and came running and Paul told him to go get cleaned up. Tyler moved a little slower, but showed some excitement at the idea.

"But, we have to unload the truck first so we can get a tree in the back. So, everyone out to the truck to carry stuff."

Leah walked in as he made that announcement and said, "You, too, Seth."

"Me? What did I do?" he whined.

"You spilled my secret. You must now pay the penance."

Seth rolled his eyes and got up off the couch to stand in front of her and say, "Someone had to. Paul was acting fucking crazy! He was all over me wanting to know who your new man was. I just couldn't take it anymore. Beside, you got a ring on your finger now so you must not be too mad about it."

Leah smiled at him. "I actually should be thanking you, little brother. I've never been happier in my life." She put her arms around his waist and surprised him by giving him a hug. "There, now go help . . . just because you're a nice guy."

"Whatever," Seth muttered as he turned and made his way outside.

They carried everything up to Leah's old room then when the truck was empty, they piled inside and headed towards town. The tree lot didn't have a lot to pick from, being so close to Christmas, but Travis found one they all liked, so Paul paid the man and loaded it into the truck.

Leah had them singing "_Jingle Bells_" on the way home and even Paul joined in. As he pulled the truck up to the house, Leah let out a sigh. She had dreamt so often of coming home to this little gray house in the woods and now, here she was. It almost seemed too good to be true. They all climbed out of the truck and hauled their stuff inside, then Paul went back out for the baby crib, and after that was inside, he went back out for the tree.

Tyler remembered where the tree stand and ornaments were in the attic, so he went and got them then helped Paul put the tree stand on the tree. Travis told Leah where the tree should go, and they moved things so it would fit. Paul and Tyler brought the tree inside and set it up then Paul put the lights on it. When he was done, he let the boys and Leah hang the decorations while he held Noah.

As Paul sat there holding his son, he thought about the Christmas before, and the look of happiness on his grandma's face as she watched the boys decorate the tree. _What would she think of her great-grandson?_ he wondered as he looked down into Noah's little face. For the first time in a while, his chest tightened in grief for her. How he wished she could be here with them tonight.

Leah walked over and sunk down onto the futon beside Paul. "You OK? You look sad."

Paul smiled at her. "Yeah. Just thinking about Grandma. She was so happy last year watching the boys decorate the tree. I just miss her."

Leah laid her head on Paul's shoulder and looked down at Noah. "I hate that Noah will never know his great-grandma. I think she would love this little guy."

"Yeah, me, too."

The boys finished decorating and stood back to admire their work. "Now it looks like Christmas," Tyler commented.

"I'm hungry," Travis announced, which made them all laugh.

"Me, too. Let's go look and see what we've got for dinner," Leah said.

Leah looked in the fridge and declared it "let's order pizza night," as there was nothing to cook. She decided she would have to get to the grocery store first thing tomorrow. The boys were fine with pizza and when it came, Travis announced it must be a party because they were having pizza! Paul explained that they didn't get pizza very often and they had made a new tradition of having it for their birthdays.

The boys had so much to tell Leah . . . they both talked all through dinner filling her in on everything she had missed. Paul just sat there quietly observing his family. He couldn't believe how happy he was just sitting here with the four people he loved most in the world.

After dinner, Leah helped with homework while Paul gave Noah a bath. The boys had one more day of school before Christmas break. Travis finished first and asked if he could go see Paul. "Sure. I'll go with you. You OK, here, Ty?"

"Yeah, almost finished," he answered.

Leah and Travis walked into the bathroom just as Paul was finishing Noah's bath. He laid him on the towel on the floor and said to Travis, "Watch out, Trav. Sometimes when he gets cold, he pees!"

Travis' eyes grew wide as he got up and ran over to Leah, who laughed at him.

"Stop that," Leah scolded.

"What? He's got me more than once."

"That's why you put the diaper on first thing," she said as she kneeled down next to the baby. She smiled down at Noah and said, "You don't pee on Mommy, do you, sweetie pie? No, that's just for Daddy." Paul snorted then finished putting on Noah's pajamas, and Leah picked him up. "I'll take him now. He'll be hungry soon."

Paul said to Travis, "Come on, buddy. Let's go do some reading and then we need to get you to bed. Tomorrow is your last day of school then Christmas break."

"Yay!" Travis called out as he ran for the bedroom. Paul smiled at Leah then said, "I hope he doesn't want to read the legends book again. I think I could do that by heart."

Leah laughed as she stood with Noah in her arms. "Oh, quit your grumbling. You know you'll read whatever Travis wants to because you've missed him so much. You think you're a tough guy, but you're such a marshmallow."

Leah kissed him as she walked by him to make her way to his bedroom. "I am not," Paul called back. "I'm a mean, mean guy."

"Yeah, sure. You keep telling yourself that, Jacobs," Leah called back. She heard him chuckle then groan as Travis said, "I want to read the legends book tonight!"

Laying Noah down on the bed, Leah smiled at him as she said softly, "We'll make sure we save that book so when you're bigger, Daddy can read it to you, too." She tickled Noah's belly and he smiled at her.

"Leah?" Tyler said from the door.

Turning her head toward him, she said, "Hey, Ty. What's up?" Tyler stood there for a moment like he wanted to say something, but he couldn't get it out. "Something wrong?"

Tyler shook his head. "No. I just want to say . . . I'm really glad that you and Paul are getting married. It's been hard seeing him so . . . miserable. It's really good to see him happy again. And you, too."

Leah smiled at him. "Thanks, Ty. Come over here." Tyler walked over to her and she wrapped her arms around him. "I love Paul very much, but I want you to know how much I love you and Trav, too. I am very happy to be a part of your family." She let him go and could see he was somewhat embarrassed.

"I'm also sorry you had to leave school. I know how important it was for you to finish."

Leah sank down onto the bed next to Noah. "Yeah, it was. But now that I have Noah, it's just not as important as it used to be."

Tyler nodded then told her, "I want you to know that I will babysit him for you if it will help you finish school somehow. I mean, I don't know if you can do that or not, but . . . I want to help you."

"Tyler, that is really sweet, thanks. I would like to find some way to finish my degree, but I need to find out if that's possible first. And if it is, I may take you up on your offer."

Tyler smiled at her. "Well, you always help me with my homework and stuff, so I guess, I thought maybe I could help you out."

Paul walked in and said, "What's going on here?"

"Tyler and I are just catching up with each other," Leah explained.

Paul nodded as Tyler asked, "Can I watch a little TV before I go to bed?"

"Sure. Just keep the volume down, OK?"

Tyler turned to leave when Leah said, "Hey, Ty? Thanks."

With a shy smile, Tyler mumbled, "Sure," then he walked toward the living room and they heard the TV click on.

Paul looked at Leah and asked, "What was all that about?"

"Tyler offered to babysit if it would help me to finish my degree. He told me he feels bad I had to leave school." Leah shook her head and added, "That boy is so sweet. He's always worrying about everyone else and how he can help them. Does he ever do anything just for himself?"

"No, not much. I started paying him an allowance for all the work he does around here, and he didn't want to take it. He told me to use it to pay the bills. I forced him to take it and assured him I could still pay the bills. I wanted him to have his own spending money. The kid has never had anything his whole life."

Leah put her arms around Paul's waist. "Your mother may be a first-class bitch, but she sure made three great kids. If only she knew what she was missing out on."

Paul huffed, "I'm glad she's missing out." Just then Noah started crying and Paul said, "I guess someone is hungry."

Leah turned and picked Noah up. "Yes, I guess so. Just a second, honey," she cooed to Noah.

"I think I'll shower while you feed him, OK?"

"Sure," Leah replied as she settled onto the bed to feed Noah.

Paul pulled the door shut behind him so Leah would have her privacy then walked to the bathroom to shower. It had been a really long day, and his muscles were all tense. As he stood there under the hot water he felt himself really relax for the first time in months. Leah was here, in this house, along with their son. It was hard to believe that all of those months of missing her every second of every day were finally over. She was here now, and he would see that she was happy every day for the rest of her life.

Paul finished his shower and pulled on a clean pair of gym shorts then opened the bathroom door. He looked to the living room where Tyler was sprawled on the couch and decided maybe he should give him a time limit. "Hey, Ty," he said as he walked into the room. "TV off by eleven, OK? Tomorrow is still a school day."

Ty nodded and grunted, "OK," so Paul smiled and said, "OK, good night." Turning, he made his way to the bedroom, opened the door and closed it softly behind him. He smiled as he found Leah, curled up in the middle of the bed . . . sound asleep. She had taken off her jeans, and was lying there in just her blouse and underwear.

Paul flipped off the light and made his way to the bed to lay down beside Leah. She had to be exhausted, what with all the excitement of the night before, and only a getting a few hours of sleep. He pulled her close and kissed her on top of the head and closed his eyes.

"Hmm?" Leah stirred.

"It's OK, baby. Go back to sleep," Paul

"No, I don't want us to be an old, boring married couple that just goes to bed and goes to sleep," Leah whined sleepily.

"Well, we're not old, or boring, but I want more than anything to be married," Paul told her.

"Mmm, me, too."

"Then let's do it soon. I was actually thinking . . . maybe New Year's Eve?" Paul suggested.

Her eyes flew open at that. "Really? That soon? Why?"

Paul reached out and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. "Because I am in a hurry to move on from this year. It's been hell here without you, baby. What better way to celebrate than to marry the woman I love?"

Leah smiled and ran a finger lightly down his cheek. "I love it. It's perfect."

Paul grinned and kissed her on the lips, lingering for just a moment. "Good. It's set. We'll talk more about it tomorrow. But for now . . . " he lifted his arm and let her snuggle close as he pulled the sheet up over them, "it's time for some shut-eye. Good night, baby."

"Good night," Leah returned with a yawn.

And then they slept, for the first time together in Paul's bed. For Paul, it was a dream come true. 

In the morning, Leah got the boys up and Paul took them to school. When he got back, Leah asked him again about Christmas shopping.

"I don't really even have any ideas. I guess we better get on that, seeing that Christmas is only two days away," Paul answered.

"What about work? When do you have to go back?"

"Chuck gave us all this week off. I won't go back until the 27th."

"OK. Then, we'll get Mom to babysit today and we'll go shopping."

"Yay," Paul said flatly.

Leah rolled her eyes. "You are not putting all this on me, mister."

"Fine. I'll go shopping."

"Damn right you will." That made Paul laugh. She was bossy, but he secretly loved it.

Leah called her mom and of course she was thrilled to babysit. So, they dropped Noah off there and headed to Port Angeles to do some shopping. Leah was a little sad that Travis was done with Thomas the Tank Engine, but she did enjoy watching Paul pick out Transformer toys. Leah also picked out some socks and underwear and new jeans and a couple of shirts for each of the boys to carry on the tradition of Paul's grandma.

When it came to Tyler, neither of them were sure what to get. He was a simple kid . . . material things weren't really a big deal to him. He did enjoy his Play Station though, so Paul picked out a couple of new games for it and Leah added a couple of new journals after Paul informed her that he still wrote every day. She smiled as she remembered how much she had enjoyed journaling, but with a baby, and studying . . . she had to give it up because she just didn't have the time.

Even though Noah was only 2 1/2 months old, Leah still wanted him to have some things for Christmas. So they picked out a couple of toys and she bought a new set of clothes for him. They picked up some wrapping supplies and some groceries then headed home.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Leah asked Paul on the way home.

"No, I guess not. I enjoyed spending time with just you. It's been awhile."

"Yeah, I guess it has. Well, you know we have plenty of babysitters now, so if you ever want to take me on a date . . . " she hinted.

He laughed at that. "Yeah, I guess we should get around to dating, shouldn't we? Now that we have a kid and we're getting married."

Leah joined in the laughter and scooted over to sit right beside him. "I guess we should talk about the wedding. You know I don't want anything big and fancy. Just our family and friends."

"Sounds good to me. We could use the Rec Center, I guess."

"Yeah . . . but it's New Year's Eve. Won't they have a party there that night?"

"Oh, I didn't think about that," Paul admitted.

"You know, the weather is supposed to be unseasonably mild next week - in the 50's. What if we had the ceremony at our spot? On the cliff side? Then maybe Mom would host the party at her house."

Paul grinned and glanced over at her as he put his arm around her shoulders. "Our spot, huh? I like that. It's perfect." The cliff side was the first place they made love . . . it made sense to get married there as well.

Leah laid her head over on his shoulder and sighed. Perfect. She liked the sound of that.

They drove to Sue's to pick up Noah and talk to her about the wedding. Sue loved the idea and immediately started jotting down ideas for party food, and asked Leah about the cake. Leah promised to come over day after Christmas and work on it, but for now, they had to pick up the boys at school.

Paul pulled up at the school and as soon as both boys were buckled, he drove home. They had put all of their purchases in the back of the truck and Paul had thrown a tarp over them so the boys couldn't see them. He would have to come out after they went to bed to sneak them inside. The groceries they left out, so the boys helped him carry those into the kitchen.

Leah put Paul and Travis on Noah duty and she and Tyler went to the kitchen to start dinner. Just then, the phone ran. "I got it," Leah called out. "Hello?" There was silence on the line, so Leah again said, "Hello?"

"Did I get the wrong number? I was looking for Paul Jacobs," a female voice said. Leah didn't recognize it.

"No, this is the right number. Hold on." Leah covered the phone to shout, "Paul! Phone!"

Paul walked into the kitchen holding Noah and took the phone. "Hello?"

"Who answered the phone, Paulie? Did I interrupt you gettin some action?" Paul closed his eyes. _Doreen._

"What the hell business is it of yours?" Leah then realized who he was talking to and reached out to take Noah from him. Tyler just stood there, staring at Paul. He, too, knew exactly who Paul was talking to. He only used that tone of voice with one person . . . their mom.

"It's not. I just wondered who you had shacking up in _my_ house."

That got his anger up quick. "Look, this is MY house. We went over this before. I have the deed in my name and Grandma's will stating that she left everything to me. If you want a copy, contact her lawyer, but leave me and my family the hell alone."

"YOUR family? Are you claiming MY kids as YOUR family?"

"I've told you before, they are mine now and that's the way it's going to stay. If you even think of coming within 100 miles of Travis or Tyler, you heartless bitch, I will kill you. You got that?" Paul threatened. He hadn't see Travis walk into the kitchen, but Leah did. He was standing behind Paul and his eyes were wide in fear.

Leah walked over to Travis and tried to pull him out of the kitchen, but he yanked away from her and went to Paul. "Who is that, Paul?" he asked him.

Paul closed his eyes and sighed, "Shit."

"Is that my baby? Was that Travy? Put him on the phone, Paul. Right now!" Doreen screeched so loud they all could hear her.

"It's Mommy?" Travis asked. Paul stood there frozen, not knowing what to do. He wanted Travis to forget their mother even existed, and now . . . "She wants to talk to me?" Travis hadn't seen or heard from his mother in almost two years.

"Travis!" Doreen yelled. "It's Mommy, Travis, baby!"

Finally Paul covered the phone and asked, "Travis, you don't have to talk to her. In fact, I don't want you to. But, it's up to you."

Travis stood there making up his mind then he held out his small hand for the phone. Paul sighed and handed it to him. "Mommy?"

"Oh Travis, my sweet baby, how are you?"

"I'm OK."

"Do you miss me, sweetie? I miss you so much, but your mean old brother, Paul, won't let me see you."

"He won't?" Travis looked up at Paul and Paul shook his head and whispered, "Don't believe her, buddy." He could see the confusion on his face.

"No, he won't. He hates me, Travis. But you don't hate me, do you?" Doreen sniffed.

"No." Paul had kneeled down next to Travis, and now Travis was leaning against him. "But I love Paul. He's nice to me. He loves me. And . . . you left me here."

"I had to, sweetie. I didn't have a job, and I couldn't take care of you. But Paul is keeping you away from me and he's keeping Grandma's money from me. If I had that money, I could take care of . . ."

Paul pulled the phone away and said into it, "OK, that's enough. You are not going to use Travis as a weapon against me."

"He's my kid, Paul. You don't have a right to keep him away from me. I'll get a lawyer . . . I'll get what's mine! You can't keep all that money for yourself!"

"You think I'm living like a king here? Do you know how hard I have to work to keep food on the table?"

"That house should be mine! And everything in it. Mama had money put away somewhere, I know she did . . ."

"That's it, we're done. Don't ever call here again." Paul hung up and dropped the phone on the floor and pulled Travis to him. "Buddy, I'm sorry.

Travis was crying softly as Paul held him close. "Why did she say those things? Are you making her stay away from me?"

Paul made Travis face him as he said, "Yes, I am, buddy, but not why she says." Paul sighed as he tried to think how to explain this to an 8-year-old. "Look, our mom, is . . . well, you know she's . . ."

"Tyler says that she's sick and that's why she can't take care of us."

Paul glanced quickly over at Ty. He would try to keep Travis from being hurt. "That's right, she is."

"I remember a man used to bring her medicine and she wouldn't be mean to us for awhile."

Paul gritted his teeth as he thought about how this kid grew up seeing drug deals being made right in front of him. "Yeah. I just didn't want her to be mean to you and hurt you anymore. That's why I told her not to come here. Do you understand?"

Travis nodded and wiped his eyes. "I don't want to talk to her anymore."

Paul held him close again and said, "You won't have to. You can live here with me until you grow up and go to college, OK?" Travis nodded again. "I love you, Trav."

"I love you, too."

Paul dropped a kiss on his head then let him go. As he stood up he looked at Leah who had tears running down her cheeks. She held Noah out to him and he took him from her then she said to Travis, "Hey, Trav? You want to help with dinner?"

Travis shook his head. "I think . . . I think I want to be alone." Leah nodded and then Travis turned and walked slowly toward his room. Leah looked at Paul as she wiped her face and said, "God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea who it was. I should have just hung up."

"You didn't know. But, I think I'm going to have the number changed."

"Good idea." Leah turned to Tyler who just stood there with a furious look on his face. "Hey, Ty, you OK?"

"How can I be with such a bitch for a mother?" he spit out. "I can't believe how all she thinks about is how to take money away from us! I fucking hate her!" Tyler then stalked to the back door and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Leah looked to Paul who sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again he said, "Welcome to the Jacobs family, Leah. I suppose we'll always have to deal with her, one way or another. I can't believe with the way she's abused her body all these years with drugs and all the sex she's given away, she's still alive and driving us all fucking nuts."

"Can you get a restraining order?" Leah asked.

Paul stared at her for a moment then said, "I never thought of it. Maybe I should talk to Charlie Swan about that."

"I think you should for the boy's sake. Especially Travis. What if she shows up at school one day or something?"

Paul just shook his head and sighed. "God, I hope she never does anything that stupid, Leah, because I won't be able to restrain myself. When she was here last summer and she reached out and grabbed Tyler with her hand poised to smack him, it was all I could do not to phase right there in the living room and tear her apart. It's a good thing Jim was here to intervene and get her the hell out of here."

"How do you feel about your dad? Is he in the same category as Doreen? I mean, I guess I should know if he calls here whether to take the call or hang up."

Paul smiled. "Yeah, I guess. I really don't know what to think about him yet. He's been decent, and he's sent money to help us out. He seems likes he's changed, but . . . I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt until he makes me choose otherwise."

Leah kissed his cheek and said, "It's Christmas time, Paul. Our first Christmas all together. Let's put this behind us and try to get back to that, OK?"

Paul smiled and nodded. "Yeah, good idea. I'm going to head out and look for Ty." He reached over to the coat rack and pulled Tyler's coat off of the hook. "Hold dinner for us." He kissed Leah and then Noah and headed out the back door.

Leah looked down at Noah and said softly, "I'm so glad that you have a mommy and daddy that love you so much." Then she set him in his car seat and went to work fixing dinner.

Paul caught up with Tyler not far from the house and handed him his jacket. "Hey, buddy, thought you might need this." Tyler silently slipped into it and zipped it up. Paul could see he was still pretty upset. "You wanna talk?"

"What's there to talk about? She's a bitch. End of story."

"Yeah, I know. But seeing Travis upset . . . that got to you, didn't it? I know it did me."

"I hate that he still cries sometimes for her. He just doesn't get it! He doesn't remember all the times she came home so wasted that she puked everywhere or when her dealer came to the house looking for her cause she owed him money. Or when she would bring home some guy off the street and have sex with him right there in the living room when she thought we were asleep! God, it makes me sick to think of all the shit I put up with. And then, offering me up like I was some kind of prize . . . " he turned away so Paul couldn't see the tears come to his eyes. He hated crying . . . he was so damn sick and tired of crying over all of this.

Paul put his arm around Tyler's shoulders. "Hey, all that shit is over and done with. I promised you I would protect you and I will. Leah suggested I get a restraining order against Doreen and I think that's a good idea. That way, if she comes anywhere near you two, I can call the sheriff and have her hauled off to jail."

Tyler looked up at him in disbelief. "You can do that?"

"Yeah, I can. But . . . you might have to come with me to the sheriff and talk a little about this stuff so he understands why we need it. Would you be willing to do that?"

"If it will keep her away from us? Hell, yeah, I'll do that."

Paul pulled Tyler close to him with one arm and said, "You're a good man, Ty. Don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. I am so glad that you were there to protect Travis, but maybe we should we let him know a little more what she's really like, for his own good."

They stood there quietly for awhile then Paul broke the silence by asking Tyler, "You hungry?" Tyler nodded. "Me, too. Let' go home for dinner."

"Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're marrying Leah. She makes you really happy."

Paul chuckled. "Yeah, she does."

"Not only that, she's good for all of us. I think she makes Travis miss Mom less, and that's good."

Paul suspected she did the same for Tyler, even though he might not admit it. "Yeah, that is good. Let's go."

They walked home together, not really talking about anything important. Ty told him about a trade the Mariners made for a pitcher and how he thought that would be good for the team. Paul smiled and decided maybe he would get Mariners tickets for the three of them sometime. It would be fun to take the boys to a real game this summer in Seattle.

When they walked into the kitchen through the back door, Leah was at the stove, and Travis was setting the table. Paul looked over at Ty and smiled. Tyler said, "Smells good. What's for dinner?"

And with that, all was right with the world again.


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

IN MY LIFE

"Paul? Paul!" He opened one eye to see Travis standing in front of him. "Is it time to open presents yet?" Travis whispered loudly. Paul glanced at the clock. "Trav, it's only 6:30. Go back to sleep," he mumbled as he shut his eyes and then felt Travis tap him on the shoulder.

"But Paul, I can't wait anymore. I HAVE to open presents now."

Paul forced his eyes open again to order, "Travis, go back to bed." Just then, Noah started fussing. "Great, now the baby is awake," Paul grumbled.

Leah sat up and looked over at Travis. "Merry Christmas, little man," she said with a smile. He ran to her side of the bed and climbed up to hug her.

"Can we open presents now?" Travis asked her hopefully.

She laughed as Paul rolled onto his back and put the pillow over his head. "Well, it sounds like Noah is ready to eat. How about I feed him real quick and change him then we'll open presents. Can you wait just a few more minutes?"

"I guess," he said a little dejectedly.

Leah climbed out of bed and said, "You lay here with Paul while I take care of the baby." Travis nodded and obediently laid down beside Paul as Leah walked to pick up Noah. "Merry Christmas, baby boy," she cooed softly then she sat down in the rocking chair to feed him. She hummed a few Christmas carols as he ate then she burped him and changed his diaper.

"OK, guys, let's go," she said as she approached the bed. There she found both of them fast asleep. "Figures," she said to Noah. "Look at them. Two peas in a pod." Shaking her head, Leah crept from the bedroom and carried the baby to the kitchen to start some coffee.

Leah set Noah in his car seat and hummed Christmas carols again as she got the coffee going then she carried him into the living room and plugged in the lights on the Christmas tree. "Look, Noah . . . isn't that pretty?" Noah's eyes reflected the lights on the tree as he cooed and smiled and watching him, Leah felt such a sense of peace flow over her. It was so good to be home.

Once the coffee was done, Leah got herself a cup and grabbed a couple of Christmas cookies that Sue had sent home with them the other day then she settled onto the futon beside Noah to wait for the boys to wake up. She didn't have to wait very long.

Travis ran into the room and stopped when he saw all the presents under the tree. "Oh my gosh! Santa was here!" Then he turned and ran back to his room, yelling, "Tyler! Wake up! Santa was here!"

Leah grinned at Paul as he came shuffling out of the bedroom toward her. He was wearing just his gym shorts and scratching his head as he yawned then he flopped down beside her and took the cup of coffee from her hand, drank some then handed it back to her. "Merry Christmas," she said softly.

Paul looked at her and smiled. "It is now," he told her as he leaned forward to kiss her.

"Can we open presents now?" Travis asked yet again as he ran into the room ahead of Tyler, who was shuffling his way into the room. Tyler plopped down into the chair and looked over at Paul and Leah with his eyes half open. "Next year, I am grinding up a sleeping pill and putting into a Christmas cookie for him to eat before he goes to bed."

That made both Leah and Paul laugh. "Good idea, bro," Paul said as he tapped Tyler on the knee.

Paul finally gave in and told Travis it was time to open presents. The paper flew and Travis shrieked with glee after opening each one. The Transformers were a big hit and Leah's face glowed as she watched how happy he was.

Tyler seemed excited about the new Play Station games, and the new journals. Both boys even liked the clothes Leah picked out.

For Leah, Paul picked out a silver bracelet with five round charms - one for each of them with their name and birth date engraved on it. She cried when she saw it and had him put it on her immediately. "I love it, Paul. Thank you so much." She kissed him gently on the lips and he smiled. It made him feel so good to see her so happy.

Leah had called Jared and asked him to pick out some tools that Paul might need. He did so and brought them to her yesterday for her to wrap. Paul was very happy with all of them and kissed Leah after each one he opened.

Once the presents were opened and Travis and Tyler were busy with their new things, Leah left Noah with Paul and went into the kitchen to make them some breakfast. She made little pancakes for Travis and bacon and eggs for Tyler and Paul. Tyler found his way into the kitchen to help and when it was done, they all sat down together to eat. As Paul looked around the table, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. Just a couple of weeks ago, he had been dreading this Christmas. He didn't know how he could get through it without his grandma and without Leah. And, now here she was, smiling and laughing with the boys, as she held Noah in her arms. He was so afraid it would all just disappear and he would wake up and find it had been just a dream.

That afternoon, they packed up and went to Sam and Emily's house for a huge Christmas gathering with the whole pack. Once everyone was there, Jared stood up and announced that he and Kim had finally set a wedding date - Valentine's Day. Leah was standing beside them and she looked over at Kim who was beaming. "Congratulations, Kim!" Leah said.

"So, what about you? When is your big day," she asked.

"New Year's Eve," Leah told her.

"Really? Oh my gosh! That's awesome!"

"Yeah, I think Paul will be bummed because he wanted to make a big announcement and Jared just beat him to it. He hates when Jared beats him at _anything_."

Kim laughed at that as Paul stood up and whistled to get everyone attention. "Jared and Kim aren't the only ones getting hitched around here. I would like to invite you all to a wedding on New Year's Eve." Everyone just stared and then he shouted, "Leah and I are FINALLY getting married!"

Jared and Seth called out at the same time, "THANK GOD!" Congratulations went around again and Paul was so excited to see how Leah beamed as everyone hugged her. She would be a beautiful bride . . . he could hardly wait.

Sue and Leah made plans to get together the next day to go over wedding details. They decided to go to Port Angeles and try to find a nice dress for Leah to wear, and they needed to go to the bakery in Forks to get a cake ordered. Paul left all the details to them. He really didn't care about any of that. He was only really looking forward to the time in the ceremony where they would be pronounced husband and wife. Then he would kiss his bride and they would live happily ever after.

That Christmas night, after the boys were all in bed, Paul came to Leah in the bedroom as she was getting ready for bed. "Come with me," he said as he took her hand. She looked at him curiously then followed him to the living room. The room was lit only by the lights on the Christmas tree and it sent out and warm and comforting glow.

Paul led her to the futon, which he had pulled out to make a bed. Paul crawled onto it and laid against the pillows then held out his arm for Leah to join him. She smiled as he pulled her close and dropped a kiss onto her head. "So what's this all about?" she asked softly.

"Last Christmas, after everyone had gone to bed, I laid here, staring at the tree, listening to the saddest Christmas song ever on the radio, wishing with all my heart that you were here with me. And now, this year, here you are."

Leah moved so she could see his face. "Last Christmas, I was laying in my bed, alone in my dorm room, while Mom and Seth were at the hotel, holding your picture and wishing with all my heart that I could be here with you." Tears formed in the corner of her eye as she smiled at him.

Paul leaned forward and put a gentle kiss on her lips. "I think that every Christmas for the rest of our lives, we should spend some time here alone in front of the tree, and realize how very lucky we are."

Leah smiled again through her tears and nodded. Paul gathered her close and they lay there, side by side, looking at the tree, both of them feeling very lucky indeed. 

Paul went back to work a couple of days after Christmas and Leah went to work on wedding plans. She asked Kim to be a bridesmaid then shocked Emily by asking her to be her maid of honor. Emily said yes right away and then they both cried over the time they lost with each other. Kim sat there handing them tissues and shedding a few tears herself. Then they all had a good laugh until Sue called and told them she would be there to pick them up for a day of shopping in Port Angeles. Travis was spending the day at Carly's house and Tyler was OK on his own, so Leah got Noah ready to go as they waited for Sue to pick them up.

The four of them had a great day and they found the perfect dress for Leah. Since this was a simple wedding, she wanted a simple dress. Her mother actually picked out the dress, but Leah had to admit it looked perfect on her. It was ivory colored, which looked great against her russet skin and black hair. It had a deep v-neck, which Paul would appreciate, and a high waist with a long simple skirt to the floor.

Sue shed a few tears when she saw Leah in the dress. "It's hard to believe my little girl is all grown up with a baby of her own," she said softly as she pulled Leah close for a hug then told her to take off the dress and let her pay for it.

"You don't have to do that, Mom. I have some money saved . . . "

"Nonsense. I only have one daughter and I have been dreaming of her wedding day for a very long time. I'm buying the dress. Period."

Leah knew better than to try and fight Sue Clearwater once her mind was made up, so she let her buy the dress. She added shoes to match and then they headed home, first dropping Emily and Kim off and then they picked up Travis at Carly's. When Sue pulled up to Paul's house, Leah again thanked her mom for the dress.

"It was on sale. Don't worry about it. You look beautiful in it and every girl deserves to feel beautiful on her wedding day," Sue told her. "But I'm taking it home with me. We don't want Paul peeking at it!"

Leah waved as she drove off and then she and Travis made their way into the house. Noah was sleeping, so she took him into the bedroom and laid him in his crib to finish his nap then made her way back out to the living room. "Well, Trav, what do you say we go into the kitchen and see what we have for dinner, OK?"

"OK," Travis said simply as he followed her into the kitchen. Just then, the back door opened and Tyler came in.

"Hey, Ty," Leah called out. "How was your day?"

"Good. I finally beat Collin at _Assassin's Creed_. Man, I've been working at that for weeks!" Ty sounded excited, and it was good to see him have a good day. Paul had kept his word and he and Tyler had gone to see Charlie about the restraining order against their mom. Charlie agreed it would be a good idea after hearing what Tyler had to say, and he was working on it for them. He promised to call when it was all in order.

Leah decided on chili for dinner, so she put the boys to work on the cornbread while she put together the chili. They were chatting while they worked until there was a knock on the door. Leah wiped her hands and said, "I'll get it, guys."

She made her way to the door and opened it to find a tall, dark-haired man standing there, who looked very nervous. "Yes? Can I help you?" Leah asked.

"Uh, yeah, I was looking for Paul? Is he home?" the man asked. As Leah looked at him, she decided he looked vaguely familiar and she wondered if she had met him somewhere before.

"No, he's at work, but he should be home soon. Who are you again?"

Tyler had made his way to the door as soon as he heard the man's voice. He stepped up behind Leah just as she asked who he was and said, "This is Paul's dad, Jim. And my dad," he added awkwardly.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry, I had no idea," Leah said quickly. "Please come in." That's why he looked familiar to her . . . it was the eyes. They were just like Paul's . . . and Noah's. Jim walked into the house and Leah closed the door behind him. "Paul should be on his way home now. We were just getting dinner ready."

Jim looked over at Tyler and smiled. "Hey, Tyler."

"Hey . . . " he didn't know whether to call him Jim or Dad, so he just let his left his greeting as it was.

"I guess I should introduce myself," Leah said. "I'm Leah Clearwater, Paul's fiancé."

That took Jim by surprise. "Oh, wow, I had no idea he even had a girlfriend . . . "

Leah smiled as she explained, "It's a long story, but we've been seeing each other on and off for about a year and a half now. I was away at school in Spokane, and Paul drove out there right before Christmas and proposed then brought me home."

Jim smiled at her. "Well, congratulations." Just then, as if on cue, Noah started crying. Jim looked at her curiously and Leah smiled.

"Um, that's not all . . . I kind of had his baby and didn't tell him," Leah said sheepishly, then added quickly, "Again, long story, but we're fine now and he loves Noah." Leah turned to Tyler who was standing there like a statue just staring at his father. "Tyler? Can you go and change Noah's diaper then bring him out here for me?"

That shook him out of his stupor. "Uh, yeah, sure." Tyler immediately turned and made his way to the bedroom.

"Tyler is great help with the baby," she told Jim, who still looked like he was in shock. "I thought maybe Paul had told you something about all this, but things have been kind of crazy around here. We just got back three days before Christmas, so . . . "

Jim just nodded, but stayed silent. The two of them stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds then Travis walked in to stand beside Leah.

"Travis? Do you know Jim? This is Paul and Tyler's father," Leah said as way of introduction. She had no idea if Travis had met Jim or not. Paul had never told her.

Travis shook his head. Jim held out his hand to Travis and said, "Nice to meet you, Travis."

Travis stood there quietly sizing Jim up then finally he held out his hand and Jim took it and gave it a shake. Jim let go and Travis asked, "Are you my father, too?"

Jim smiled a small smile and answered, "No, buddy, I'm not. I'm sorry."

Travis nodded and shrunk behind Leah.

"Look, I don't want to interrupt anything . . . " Jim started.

"No, you're fine. I hope you don't mind coming into the kitchen with us. The boys are making the cornbread while I put together the chili. Come on in," Leah invited warmly.

"Well, if you don't mind," Jim answered.

"We don't mind," Leah insisted as she turned to lead the way to the kitchen while Travis and Jim followed. "Please take a seat. Can I get you something to drink? A beer? Coffee?"

"No, no, I'm good."

Just then, Tyler walked into the kitchen carrying Noah. "Hey, there, sweetie," Leah said as she took the baby from Tyler. "Come and meet your grandpa, little one." She stood before Jim and said, "Noah Paul Jacobs, this is your grandpa, Jim." Then she looked up at Jim and smiled. "Jim, this is your grandson, Noah. Would you like to hold him?"

Jim just stared at the little boy in Leah's arms. _Grandson. He had a grandson! _"Um, I don't know . . . " he stuttered.

"It's OK, he won't break. Here, hold his head and hold him close like this," Leah instructed as she placed the baby in the crook of his arm. Jim held him carefully and felt emotion for this little baby he never expected.

"Look at him . . . he looks just like his daddy, doesn't he?" Jim observed in awe.

"Yes, he does," Leah agreed.

The back door opened and Paul walked in. "Honey! I'm home," his happy voice faded as he saw his father standing in his kitchen holding his son. "Hey, what's going on here?"

Jim looked over at Paul and said, "Hello, Paul. I just found out I'm a grandpa."

Paul turned his gaze to Leah and she smiled shyly as if to say, _Sorry. _He made his way over to her and kissed her on the cheek to let her know it was OK. Travis stood close to him and he realized Travis had never met Jim. He looked a little scared so Paul rested his hand on Travis' shoulder to make him feel safe.

"So, what do think?" Paul asked his father.

Jim smiled as he looked down at Noah. "He's really something, son. Really something."

Tyler had gone back to making the cornbread and after he slid it into the oven, he told Leah, "Cornbread is in the oven. Do you want me to help with the chili?"

"No, honey, that's OK. It's all put together. It just needs to simmer awhile. Why don't we all go into the living room?"

Paul led the way with Travis right behind him then Jim, Tyler and Leah. The boys settled on the floor and Jim sat down in the chair with the baby, so Leah and Paul took the futon. They all sat there awkwardly for a moment then finally Jim said, "I'm sorry I didn't call first. I guess I didn't want to give you a chance to say no. I must have changed my mind a half a dozen times or more on the drive here."

Paul smiled at him and said, "I get that. It's OK."

"I have something for you boys and I didn't get a chance to get here before Christmas."

"You didn't have to do that," Paul told him.

"Well, it's not much . . . it's just something my grandpa did for me and my brothers when I was a kid, and well, I guess I wanted to carry on the tradition." He looked at Leah and said, "Could you take the baby so I can . . . "

"Oh, of course." Leah stood up right away and took Noah then sat back down on the futon next to Paul.

Jim took a small cloth bag out of his coat pocket and cleared his throat. "My grandpa, Matthew Uley, was all about tradition. He loved to sit and tell the legends of our tribe to me and my brothers . . . how the Quileute were descended from the wolves and how our family was a part of that. On our eighth birthday, we were each presented a chain with a wolf charm on it so we would always remember where we came from." He reached into his shirt and pulled out a silver chain to show them he still wore his. "I have one of these for each of you." Jim pulled one of the chains out and handed it to Paul, and then handed one to Tyler saying, "I know it seems a little corny, but, I think he would have wanted me to carry this on."

Paul looked at the small wolf charm on his palm and smiled. He had never had any connection what so ever to his great-grandfather, well except for the wolf gene. He only knew what little Sam had told him about him. As he held the wolf charm in his hand, he finally felt something . . . like he belonged to a family. "Thanks. This is cool," Paul said to his dad.

Jim smiled and looked at Tyler who was just staring at the charm, not saying a word. "Tyler?" Paul prompted. "You want to say something to Da . . . uh, Jim?"

Tyler looked up and said flatly, "Yeah, thanks." Tyler had no idea what to think, what to feel. He didn't know this man at all . . . this man that was supposed to be his father. And here he was, giving him some necklace with a wolf hanging on it, like he was supposed to know what that meant.

Jim turned to Travis and said, "I know you're not my son, but you are a part of this family, and so, I hope you don't mind, but I brought you one, too." Taking another chain from the bag, Jim held it out to Travis who quickly looked to Paul as if to ask if it was alright that he take it. Paul nodded and Travis accepted it. "Thank you," he said in awe as he turned it over to inspect it and then grinned. Paul was really touched that his father thought to include Travis. "I thought maybe I could be kind of your uncle or something. Would that be alright?"

Travis again looked to Paul and he nodded. "Yeah, OK. Thanks, Uncle Jim," Travis said enthusiastically as he slid the chain over his head and hung it around his neck and looked at it again. Then he turned to Tyler and said, "Aren't you gonna put yours on?"

Tyler just sat there, holding it in his hand, still not knowing what to do with it. He looked over at Travis and muttered, "Maybe later," then he shoved it into his pocket and mumbled something about needing to check on the cornbread as he stood and made his escape into the kitchen.

Leah glanced over quickly at Paul as he said to Jim, "I'm sorry . . . he's still kind of confused about all this."

"That's alright. I get it. This is kind of new to me, too . . . being a dad and all. Not sure what the hell I'm doing."

"You and me both," Paul said with a grin. "I've only been a dad for a little over a week!"

Jim chuckled at that and Leah smiled. "Leah here told me it was a long story. Maybe we could sit down over a beer sometime and you could tell it to me."

Paul smiled and nodded. _Having a beer with his dad . . . man, that was a weird concept. _

Leah turned to Paul and said, "Here, take Noah. I need to check on dinner." Paul took him then Leah stood and said to Jim, "I hope you'll stay for dinner. It's just chili and cornbread, but you're more than welcome to join us."

Jim glanced at Paul then said, "I'd really like that." Paul nodded his approval.

Leah touched Jim's shoulder as she walked by on her way to the kitchen and Jim grinned. "Well, boy, I'd say you done alright for yourself. She's a beauty with a personality to match."

"Yeah, I'd have to agree with you there," Paul said with a matching grin.

Leah found Tyler in the kitchen, sitting at the table, staring at the wolf charm. She walked to the stove and stirred the chili then turned to Tyler. "Hey, Ty. Talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?" Leah encouraged as she pulled out the chair beside him and sat down.

Tyler took a deep breath and laid the charm down on the table. "I have no idea what this means. I never heard the legends of the tribe . . . I mean I know about Paul and Sam, and the other guys, but . . . I don't know. Does this mean he wants to be my dad? Am I supposed to fall all over him now cause he gave me some necklace? Am I supposed to feel something for him?"

Leah could feel Tyler's pain and it went like an arrow straight to her heart. "Oh Ty, I don't know. I think it means he wants to be a part of your life. He's reaching out to you and Paul and maybe you should give him a chance. You don't have to jump in and declare your love for him or anything, but, maybe just give him a chance to be your friend."

Tyler just shrugged, so Leah went on. "You don't have to wear that until you're ready. If you want to know more about the legends of our tribe, I'm sure that Sam would be glad to share them with you. All you have to do is ask."

Picking up the chain, Tyler dangled the charm in front of him. "You know I could turn into a wolf, too. Paul told me there was a chance since we have the same dad."

"I know. Are you worried about that?"

"Kind of. I know I'm not supposed to know about it, but I do, so I talked to Collin about it. He loves being a wolf. He thinks it's the coolest thing ever. Except . . . "

"Except what?"

Tyler set the chain down and looked at her. "You have to stay here on the rez. I really want to go to college someday."

"Hey, look at me," Leah smiled. "I got special permission to go to school. I proved it can be done if you want it."

A smile curved on his lips as he said slowly, "Yeah, I guess. I forgot you were a wolf, too."

Putting her hand on Tyler's, Leah told him softly, "Ty, you're still young. Not even a teenager yet. You have plenty of time to think about things. Just enjoy being a kid for awhile, OK?"

"Yeah, but Collin and Brady were only 13 when they changed. I'll be 13 in February. What if I . . . "

"Paul and the other guys were 16, and Sam was 18. I was almost 19! Collin and Brady are the exception to the rule. Please don't think you'll pop out as a wolf on your 13th birthday or something. It doesn't happen that way. Besides, just because you have the gene, doesn't automatically mean you'll phase. It's something we still don't understand."

Tyler smiled at that. "OK, I get it. Quit worrying about stuff."

"Yes. Now help me get dinner on the table, OK?"

"Yeah, OK." Leah stood up and Tyler surprised her by hugging her.

"Thanks, Leah. I like that I can talk to you."

"Always, honey. I'll always be here for you." Tyler let go and then turned to the oven to take out the cornbread.

Leah called Travis to come and set the table and before long everything was ready for dinner. "Come and get it!" she called out.

Paul walked into the kitchen with Jim carrying Noah following him. Leah had pulled up an extra chair to their small little table. It would be a tight fit, but they would make it work. Leah took Noah from Jim and laid him in his car seat on the floor. "OK, everyone, dig in."

They all ate in an awkward silence at first then Leah asked Travis about his day with Carly and that's all it took to get Travis going. He told her about all the games they played, what they had for lunch and how her mom let them make ice cream sundaes for a snack.

Leah shared her day with them, telling them she found a wedding dress and that her mother insisted on paying for it. "I think she's just as excited about this wedding as I am," she added.

"How soon is the wedding?" Jim asked.

Leah glanced over at Paul wondering how she should answer that. _Did he want them him there? Or maybe not?_

Paul answered, "This weekend . . . on New Year's Eve."

Jim's eyes rose in surprise. "Oh, that soon! That's great."

Paul quickly tried to decide whether to invite his dad or not. He was still a little confused about who he was and what he wanted from him. It was hard to trust his parents . . . they had never given him any reason to trust them. But he surprised himself by saying, "You know, if you're free, maybe you'd like to come?"

Jim sat there for a moment, absorbing what Paul just asked him. It was more than he could hope for. _His son, asking him to attend his wedding!_ Finally, he cleared his throat and said, "Yes, I think I can do that. Thank you. Thank you for asking me."

Paul smiled and nodded then scooped up his last bite of chili. Leah sent him a smile and a wink to show her approval.

After dinner, Leah shooed all of the men out of the kitchen to the living room to talk while she cleaned up. Jim asked Tyler and Travis about school and what kinds of things they liked to do. Travis was more than happy to talk . . . Tyler was a little more quiet, as usual.

Travis had just finished telling Jim about how he liked to go fishing with Sam when Jim said, "I like fishing, too, pardner."

Travis giggled. "You said pardner, like a cowboy."

Jim chuckled. "Well, maybe that's cause my granddaddy was a real cowboy, and he used to call me that."

Travis' eyes grew huge. "He was a REAL cowboy?"

"Yes, he was. He was my mother's daddy . . . his name was Jack Taylor and he grew up in St. Louis, Missouri, on the Mississippi River. His father owned a general store there, and Jack grew up seeing men come off the boats and into the store to buy supplies then they would climb on their horses and head out west. He decided that someday he would do that, too. So, he saved every cent he made working in the store and by the time he was 17, he had enough to buy a horse and supplies then he left St. Louis for good and headed west to Montana. He had heard they had big cattle ranches out there, and he figured he could find work on one."

"Wow," Travis said in awe. Jim glanced at Tyler to see he was listening, too.

"So, he worked on a cattle ranch there for a few years until the trains took over moving the cattle and they didn't have to move them on cattle drives anymore. Jack decided then he'd like to see the ocean, so he packed up and got on his horse and headed toward Washington State. Before he made it all the way to the ocean, he stopped in a little town at a diner to get something to eat. That's where he met a pretty little woman who worked in the diner . . . my grandma, Naomi. She was Makah and living on the reservation there, but she worked in town at the diner to help make money for her family. She was one of nine children! Well, my granddaddy always said it was love at first sight, and before long, they got married and settled down here in Washington."

"Did he ever get to see the ocean?" Travis wanted to know.

Jim smiled and nodded. "Oh yes. He and my grandma used to drive out to the ocean a few times every year. They both loved the water."

"He sounds like a really adventurous guy," Leah commented. She had come in quietly during Jim's story. "I'll bet he had a lot of great stories."

"He did," Jim told her. "I loved to visit him. He died when I was about 12, I guess. I still miss him."

Paul had listened as intently as Travis while Jim was talking. He never had any idea that he had an ancestor that was a cowboy. It made him realize how much he had never known about any of the people he had come from. He also realized how much he'd like to know more.

Jim stayed for just a little while longer then declared he had to hit the road. He had a long drive back to Seattle, and work tomorrow morning. Turning to Leah, he thanked her for dinner. "You make a mean bowl of chili."

Leah gave him a soft laugh. "Thanks, Jim. Next time I'll make my killer lasagna."

"I look forward to it," Jim told her with a grin.

Paul told him what time the wedding would take place on Saturday, and Jim promised he'd be there.

Jim got up to go and walked over to where Tyler was sitting. "It was good to see you again, Tyler."

Tyler stood up and stuttered, "Yeah. Uh, thanks, again, for the . . . uh, for the chain and everything."

Jim smiled and squeezed Tyler's shoulder. "Sure. See you on Saturday."

"Good by, Uncle Jim!" Travis called out.

Jim grinned at him and said, "Good by, pardner." He tousled Travis' hair and then turned to Paul.

"I'll walk you out," Paul said.

Paul followed Jim outside then closed the door behind him. "I have to ask you something. Have you seen Doreen?"

His father looked at him in surprise. "No, I haven't. Not since last summer. After that day we came here and I saw exactly what she'd turned into . . . I told her to stay the hell away from me. She left and I haven't seen her since. Why?"

Paul sighed. "She called here last week and upset the boys . . . and me. She's still determined to get this house and . . . well, I'm a little afraid she might try something stupid. Tyler and I went to see the sheriff and ask for a restraining order. I don't want her anywhere near the boys."

Jim nodded. "I think that's a good idea. I was so shocked the first time I saw her when I got out. She's a shadow of the woman I used to know. If you could have seen her when I first met her . . . she was a real beauty. I wish . . . " Jim looked off toward the woods, "I wish I could go back now and change things . . . " his voice faded then he stood there silent for a moment, lost in thought. Finally he looked back to Paul and said, "But I can't change the past, so, I want you to know, if you need anything from me, I'm here for you, son." Jim rested his huge hand on Paul's shoulder.

Paul was taken aback for a second or two. He had no idea how to take that. Jim seemed so sincere . . . but could he trust him? Before he could think he found himself saying, "Thanks, Dad."

A smile broke out on Jim's face that lit up the night. "You're welcome, son. Anytime." He removed his hand from Paul's shoulder and dug into his coat pocket for his keys. "I'll see you on Saturday."

"OK. Good night," Paul called.

"Good night," Jim called back as he climbed into his truck, started the engine, gave Paul a wave and drove off into the night. Paul stood there for a few minutes watching the tail lights disappear into the darkness then he turned back to the house and walked inside.

Making his way into the living room, Paul sat down on the futon next to Leah then reached out to the coffee table and picked up the chain that his dad had given him and held it in his hand for a moment. Suddenly, for the first time in his life, he found himself wanting to belong to the Uley family. He slipped the chain over his head and let the little wolf rest against his chest.

Leah smiled at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Giving him a chance?"

Paul smiled back and nodded. "A chance. We'll see how it goes."

Tyler was sitting in the chair watching as Paul put the chain on. He wondered what Paul and their dad talked about outside that led to Paul putting the necklace on. Tyler knew his brother didn't trust people that easily and if he now trusted Jim . . . well, Tyler decided, maybe he should give him more of a chance. Putting his hand in his pocket and feeling the wolf charm there, Tyler decided he just wasn't ready to wear it yet . . . but, maybe someday.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

THE NIGHT BEFORE

It was the day before the wedding and Leah was with Sue going over everything to make sure that tomorrow would be perfect. She couldn't believe her luck with the weather . . . the forecast called for sunny skies with a high of 65! Not really common for December in Washington.

Paul had asked Jared to be his best man, and he was busy planning the bachelor party for tonight. Leah had already warned Paul not to get drunk at this party like he did at Sam's. Seth had filled her in on that story, so he promised her he would be good.

Paul had also surprised Tyler by asking him to stand up with him. "You know, Jared and I have been close since I moved here when I was 5. He's my cousin, but he's always been my best friend, too, so that's why he's my best man. But, you're my brother, and we're tight, and I'd like to have you there with me. So, will you?"

Tyler was at a loss . . . he had no idea what to say. Finally he smiled and said, "Well, I do look good in a suit, so . . . I guess I can."

Tyler smiled at Paul's hearty laugh and felt really warm when Paul pulled him in for a bro hug. "Good. You had me worried there for a minute," Paul told him as he let him go.

Paul asked Travis to be his "ring bear," and of course Travis said yes then asked if Claire could be the flower girl. "I'm sure Leah will ask her," Paul told him, and of course, she did.

Leah insisted on staying at her mom's tonight, as she wanted to hold to the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding. Paul pouted about sleeping alone, but Leah wouldn't budge.

So, everything was set for the big day. Leah left Sue's and ran to Forks to the dry cleaners to pick up all the guy's suits, then she picked up the cake at the bakery, and the flowers at the florist. On the drive back, she had the radio on and was singing along to the music. She had never felt so happy and so free. The only sad thing about tomorrow was that Seth would be walking her down the aisle instead of her father. She and her mom had shed a few tears over that this morning, but she knew that her dad would be happy for her, so she put the sadness aside and decided to focus on how happy she was to marry the man of her dreams.

Leah pulled up to their little gray house in the woods, as she liked to think of it, and walked in to hear Noah screaming over the TV that was way too loud, and Tyler screaming at Travis to "shut up and leave me the hell alone!"

"Hey!" Leah shouted over all the noise as she laid the suits over the chair. She had to shout again to get Tyler's attention. "What the hell is going on here?" she asked, not hiding her anger.

Tyler grabbed the remote and turned off the TV as Leah took Noah from his car seat. "Where is Paul?" she demanded.

"In the kitchen getting a bottle for Noah," Tyler told her sheepishly. Travis just sat there on the floor not saying a word.

Leah quickly turned to stalk toward the kitchen. Paul was nowhere in sight, but the bottle was sitting on the counter. She picked it up and tested it on her arm then shoved it into Noah's open mouth. He accepted it greedily and she wondered how long he had been waiting for it. She was instantly pissed at Paul. How could he just take off and leave Noah hungry like that? She looked around and then walked to the back door to look outside for Paul. She saw him standing at the edge of the lawn, talking to Sam, who was wearing only shorts, which meant he came in wolf form.

"Shit," Leah sighed, hoping this didn't mean trouble. Fighting the urge to walk outside to find out what was going on, she decided that part of her just didn't want to know, while the other side of her was dying of curiosity. Instead, she just stood there staring out the door at them, waiting for Paul to come inside.

Noah was halfway done with his bottle when Paul finally turned and made his way to the house. Leah watched as Sam stripped his shorts then phased as he ran for the woods. She backed up so Paul could open the door and walk into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey," he said in surprise as he saw Leah. "When did you get home?"

"Just in time to keep Noah here from starving. He was screaming his head off, waiting for his bottle," Leah said angrily.

Paul ran his hand through his hair as he saw how pissed Leah was at him. "God, I'm sorry. Sam came, and . . . I didn't think, I just . . . "

"Yeah, you didn't think. Noah has to come first, Paul. When he's hungry, he can't wait." She turned away from him and headed to the living room to plop down in the chair.

Paul sighed and followed her into the living room. "Leah, look, I'm sorry. You're right. Is he OK?" he asked as he sunk down onto the futon.

"Yes, he's fine now," she said less angrily. She knew he didn't mean to make Noah suffer.

Paul looked around and noticed the boys were nowhere in sight. "Where are the boys?"

Leah noticed their bedroom door was closed. "Probably hiding in their room from me. They could see I wasn't happy when I walked in to find Noah screaming over the TV that was way too loud and the two of them fighting."

"Oh," was all Paul said.

"So? Are you going to tell me what Sam had to say?"

Paul didn't want to because he knew she would freak. She had been a little on edge about getting everything perfect for tomorrow. "Um, he wanted to let me know that he had given the Cullens permission to cross the treaty line tonight and tomorrow."

Leah's eyes narrowed as she asked, "Why would he do that?"

Paul took a deep breath. "Because he knew that all of us would be otherwise occupied with the bachelor party and wedding."

"So, is this just a precaution, or is something going on you don't want to tell me?"

"OK, it's probably nothing, but Sam wants to be cautious." Leah stared at him, waiting for him to finish. "A lone hiker was killed yesterday about 20 miles from here. Sam took Embry and Quil with him this morning to take a look around. They didn't catch any bloodsucker stench, but just in case, he wanted to put the Cullens in place to make sure everyone stays safe."

Leah sighed and leaned her head back against the chair. _Why now? Why couldn't things ever just be perfect for her and Paul?_ Noah finished his bottle and Leah took it from him and then put him up on her shoulder to burp him. "Fine, whatever," she told Paul. "Tomorrow is our wedding day, Paul, and I am not going to let anything ruin it for us. I am putting this out of my mind, and we are just going to concentrate on us, OK?"

Paul smiled at her. "Sounds good to me. Oh, by the way, Charlie called today to let me know that the restraining order is in place. He also said I should think about becoming the boys' legal guardian."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. We should look into that after the New Year," Leah said in agreement.

Noah let out a burp and she pulled him away from her shoulder and held him out to Paul. "Now, take your son and put a clean diaper on him. He stinks." Paul took him as Leah stood up to announce, "I am going to take the cake and flowers over to Mom's. I'll be back in less than an hour. Can you please make sure the house doesn't catch on fire while I'm gone?"

Paul stood up and laughed at her. "Yes, boss, we'll be fine. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. How many times do you want me to say it?"

Leah finally smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. "I guess that will do for now." Taking her keys out of her pocket, Leah walked out the door to the truck. As she started the engine she shook her head and smiled. She could never stay mad at any of her boys for very long. _God help her!_

Tyler was allowed to go to the bachelor party with Paul, but Travis wasn't. He pouted for awhile then decided it was OK when he found out that he could go with Leah and the girls. They were going to Forks to eat out at a real restaurant . . . something he never got to do! And he would have to be there to keep an eye on Claire, of course, so he said good bye to Paul and Tyler and then skipped out to Emily's car. Kim had taken Noah out to the car already to let Leah say good night to Paul.

Paul drew Leah into his arms and nuzzled her neck. "How am I going to sleep tonight without you?"

"You'll be fine. I left you a present under your pillow," Leah said with a wicked gleam in her eye.

"You did?" Paul asked with a grin. His curiosity was peaked now.

"Yes, but wait until you go to bed," she ordered.

Paul smiled and then bent to put a kiss on her lips. It was supposed to be a simple kiss, but thinking about whatever surprise she had left him under his pillow had him going. His tongue sought hers and he deepened the kiss as his hands started to slip towards her ass.

Leah quickly realized they were being watched and reluctantly drew away. "Um, Paul, we have an audience, you know."

Chuckling, he let her go. "Fine. Until tomorrow night . . . "

Leah smiled at that thought. Their fist night as man and wife. Paul had arranged for a room in a nice inn in Port Angeles. Leah wasn't sure about spending a whole night away from Noah, but her mother assured her he would fine for one night, so she gave in.

Emily honked the horn and Kim called out, "Come on, you lovebirds. Give us a break!"

Paul dropped a quick kiss on her lips and said, "I'll see you tomorrow, baby."

"Behave tonight, young man," Leah warned with a fake mad look.

"I will. You have fun."

Leah nodded then turned toward Emily's car, where she climbed into the front and waved as Emily drove away. Paul grinned and ran into the house straight to his bedroom. He knew he wouldn't be able to stand the suspense of waiting until tonight to see what was under his pillow.

As soon as he hit the bedroom, he lifted his pillow to find a small piece of black, silky material that he suspected were panties, although there wasn't much to them. He smiled and brought them to his face and caught her scent. She had worn them! _God, he loved this woman!_ He could barely contain his excitement at the thought of them spending all night together, away from everyone and everything. _Just the two of us . . . _

Placing the panties back on the bed, he threw his pillow back over them then he grinned. He was the luckiest man in the world.

Paul and Tyler pulled up to the beach and the bonfire was in full blaze. Sam and Jared had come early and had everything ready. There was a spread of food on the picnic table, and burgers on the grill. Paul spied two coolers and suspected that Sam had brought some beer along with the pop. He would have to be careful to limit himself tonight, although, he was in a much different mood now than he had been at Sam's bachelor party. He was on top of the world tonight.

Collin and Brady were already there, and they pulled Tyler away to play a rousing game of extreme Frisbee. Embry joined in when he arrived and soon Seth joined, too.

Paul tensed as he caught a whiff on the breeze . . . _vamp stench_. He quickly looked over at Sam to see if he caught it, too, then he remembered that the Cullens were skulking around the rez keeping an eye on things for them. It felt unnatural and . . . _just plain wrong_.

Sam could see by the look on Paul's face he was pissed about something, so he made his way over. "Paul? You OK?"

"It's the stench. It's not right, Sam. They shouldn't be here," Paul told him angrily. It was all he could do to rein in his anger and not pop out right there to chase them off.

"Yeah? Well, what else would you have me do? I can send them away and start patrols again. You know, after this shin-dig, they go away and we patrol tonight and tomorrow until the wedding."

Paul sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know."

"Look, I don't like it either, but in a way, I guess, I'm kind of glad they're around. We've always had the treaty with them, but after working with them during all the shit with the newborns . . . well, it just helps to know we have some back-up."

"I just hate to think of fucking leeches as our back-up."

"So do I, bro. This one is your call. I can get a patrol together right now . . . " his voice faded as he waited for Paul's decision.

Paul looked up and around at all of the guys. It was great for once to see everyone relaxed and having fun . . . "No, it's cool. Let's just relax for a few hours."

Sam clapped him on the back and smiled. "Come on. Let's get a beer."

Jared, Paul and Sam stood around the fire, nursing their fist beer, just watching the younger guys. Quil joined them and said, "Aren't they cute? It's like watching Claire play with her little friends at the park," which made them all laugh. The only one missing was Jake. Paul asked Quil about him and he said, "Uh, yeah. He'll be here, but he may be late."

Sam turned to him and asked why. Quil kind of stuttered around until Sam said, "Out with it, Quil. What the hell is going on?"

Quil sighed then said, "He got a call from Bella. She's in town at her Dad's. First time in over a year. So, you know him . . . she calls and he goes running to her like a dog in heat."

"Which is what he is," Paul commented.

Sam just shook his head. He knew he could Alpha order him to get his ass over here and away from her, but he didn't. This was something Jake had to work out on his own. He just wished it wouldn't take so fucking long.

Sam took the burgers off the grill and they all dug into the food. Tyler was amazed to see how much food a pack of werewolves could put away. After most of the food was gone, the younger guys pulled out the sticks and marshmallows. As they all sat around the fire, Tyler asked Sam if he could share some of the legends with them. Sam looked at Tyler in surprise then he remembered what Paul had told him about his father's visit the other night and how Tyler was upset because he didn't understand anything about the wolf charm his father had given them. He smiled at Tyler and said, "I guess I could do that, if it's OK with everyone."

No one objected, so Tyler sat down between him and Paul and listened as Sam told the legend of how the tribe descended from wolves. Tyler was completely enraptured by Sam's story. He was amazed that the story was actually true . . . all these guys sitting here, could actually turn into wolves! And that he might, someday, too.

Once Sam finished, Tyler said, "Thanks, Sam."

Sam clapped him on the shoulder. "Sure, Ty."

Tyler looked at Paul as he pulled the chain with the wolf charm on it out of his pocket. He had been carrying it around with him since his father had given it to him. "You think you're ready to wear that now?" Paul asked.

As Tyler stared at that little wolf charm, he finally understood just what it meant. How important it was to be a part of this tribe, this family . . . he slipped the chain over his head and looked down at the charm. _Yeah, he was ready._ Paul smiled at him and put his hand on Tyler's shoulder. "Welcome to the tribe, Ty." Tyler smiled back and nodded.

Jake finally showed up just as Sam was nearing the end of his story telling. He looked like someone had just kicked him in the gut as he plopped down on a log beside Embry. Embry leaned over and whispered something to him and Jake just shook his head. Paul couldn't tell if he was upset over something or just in shock.

After Sam finished, Paul noticed Embry and Quil close ranks around Jake. He couldn't take the suspense any longer, so he worked his way over to them. "Hey, Jake. Thanks for coming," Paul started.

Jake just nodded. "Hey, dude. You OK?" Paul asked.

Jake looked up at Paul and said, "I don't know, man. Bella called me and asked if I could come and see her at her dad's house. It's been a fucking year and a half and, so I went and she looks . . . a little older, a little more mature, but still so beautiful. I hugged her and she still smelled exactly like she always did. She was warm and . . . _alive._" Paul could see in his eyes how much he still loved her. He had seen that look in his own reflection many times over the last year.

"So why do you look like she kicked you in the balls?" Embry wanted to know.

"She left him," Jake said in awe.

They all looked at him like his hair was on fire. "What? Are you fucking serious?" Embry asked him.

Jake just nodded like a bobble head. "She told me that she left him and she wasn't going back. She's moved back in with her dad and she wants some time alone to think things through, and then . . . she wants to talk again. She just wanted to let me know that she was home."

Embry and Quil looked at each other with a grin. Embry hollered out, "Thank God! Maybe now we'll get a rest from all the mopey shit that goes on inside your head."

"Yeah, now grow a pair and don't let her get away this time," Paul told him. "Remember what we talked about, bro. Get her alone."

Jake laughed at that as he remembered how Paul had told him to "_plant his seed_." "I will sure as hell give it all I've got."

Sam came over and handed all of them a beer and proposed a toast to Paul. "To Paul, who is FINALLY making an honest woman of Leah and ending all of our misery." All the guys joined in that toast.

Then Paul held up his beer and said, "And to Jake. Who might actually lose his virginity before he turns 30!"

"Here, here!" Embry called out as all the guys laughed.

From there, the younger guys decided to go back to Collin's and play X Box, while the older guys sat around the fire, drinking beer and swapping stories. Jake was pretty happy, and he downed three or four beers before he even realized it. Since he arrived late and all the food was gone, it went straight to his head. He and Embry were laughing their asses off at anything anybody said, so Sam said, "Alright boys, time to go home."

"No, come on. We just started having fun," Jake whined.

"Yeah, I can see that," Sam said with a grin.

Jake stood up and swayed back and forth then slurred, "I think I'm a little drunk." That made Embry laugh hysterically and the other guys all joined in.

"You think?" Jared asked him. Then he turned to Sam. "Man, Sam, Billy is going to kill you."

Quil looked at Sam. "Since you brought the beer, you have to help me get the two of them home."

"I guess that's fair. But they ride in the back. I'm not cleaning puke out of the cab of my truck."

Jared and Paul half carried Jake to the truck. "Come on, guys, I don't want to go home. I want to see Bella again," Jake slurred. "Take me there will ya? I want to kiss her, and hold her . . . "

"Yeah, Jake, I don't think she's ready for that right now," Jared said. "Didn't she say she needed a little time? And, well, you're drunk, dude. Drunk guys can't get it up, you know what I mean?"

"What?" Jake stopped and stared at Jared with his mouth wide open. "You mean I can't get a boner? Here, let me try."

Jared and Paul were both bent over laughing watching Jake as he stood there with his eyes squeezed shut, straining his body to get an erection. Then he would open his eyes, stare down at his crotch and not seeing anything, he would try again.

"OK, OK, stop," Paul finally got out. "You're going to hurt yourself, dude."

Jake opened his eyes and looked at Paul like he was going to cry. "I can't do it, Paul. It's broken."

Paul just patted him on the back and started walking him toward the truck again. "It's OK, Jake. It'll be back first thing in the morning, I promise."

That made Jake smile. "Good, that's good."

Sam and Quil loaded up the grill then stuffed Jake and Embry into the back of the truck. "See you tomorrow, Paul," Sam said as he climbed into the driver's seat.

Jared and Paul waved at Sam. "Good luck, bro!"

"Come on, let's get you home. You need your beauty sleep," Jared told Paul as he elbowed him.

"Please, dude. I'm prettier than you any day," Paul retorted.

Jared snorted and climbed into Paul's truck. Paul dropped him at home with strict orders to be at his house no later than eleven. The wedding was set for two, and Paul wanted Jared's help at getting the boys ready. "I'll be there, I promise." Then he sat there and looked at Paul. "Man, I can't believe it's finally happening. You and Leah. I never would have imagined it. Good for you, bro. Good for you."

Paul gave him a shit-eating grin. "Thanks, J. I'm glad you'll be there with me. A few more weeks, I'll be there for you. Then we'll both be old, married farts."

Jared met his grin. "Yeah, but happy old married farts."

"Definitely. See ya in the morning." Paul watched Jared walk up to the house then he drove away, the grin still in place.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

TWO OF US

Leah looked at herself in the mirror and couldn't believe her reflection. She had never considered herself a girly-girl . . . she had always been somewhat of a tomboy. Especially since becoming a wolf. Her mouth was just as bad as any of the guys, and she hardly ever wore a dress or make-up, but looking at her reflection now . . . Leah was amazed.

"Leah, do you want me to dress Noah now or . . . oh my goodness," Sue stopped in the doorway and with her hand over her heart, just stared at her daughter. "Oh honey, you look beautiful."

"I can't believe it's me." Leah had decided to do without a veil. Since the wedding would be outside on a cliff top, she didn't want to deal with it blowing around. So, Emily put a few curls in her hair and then pulled one side back and pinned a white orchid there. The only jewelry she wore was her engagement ring and the charm bracelet that Paul had given her for Christmas.

Sue walked over and put her arm around Leah's shoulder. Leah could see the tears in her mother's eyes and she warned her, "Mom, don't start. I am wearing make-up for the first time in a long time, and I don't want to walk down the aisle with mascara running down my face."

Sue gave her a soft laugh. "I know, but Leah, I just know how your daddy would feel seeing you like this. Makes me miss him so much."

"Me, too, Mom." Leah laid her head on her Sue's shoulder for a moment as they both thought of Harry.

"OK, look, I changed his diaper, but I don't know what to put on him now," Seth said as he walked into the room carrying Noah.

Leah smiled at him. "Boy, that's something I never thought I would hear come out of your mouth. You changed his diaper?"

Seth gave her a look. "Yes, I'm not stupid. I know how to put a diaper on a baby's butt."

Sue laughed and Leah joined her. "Here," Sue said. "Give me that baby. I'll go ahead and dress him then put a bib on him so he doesn't spit up on his nice new outfit." Sue took the baby from Seth and walked out the room.

Seth looked at Leah and said softly, "Wow. You look . . . really pretty."

Leah beamed at his compliment. "Thank you, Seth. That is high praise indeed, coming from you."

Seth rolled his eyes. "I have to finish getting dressed."

As Seth turned to go, Leah stopped him. "Hey, Seth?" He turned back. "Thanks for filling in for Dad today."

Seth's eyes softened as he hung his head. "Yeah. I wish he was here."

"Me, too. But I'm kind of glad to have you there with me. It means a lot to me, little brother." She stepped up to him and put her arms around him. Seth wasn't real touchy-feely, so he was a little stiff at first, but Leah was patient, and finally he relaxed and hugged her back. Then he stepped back and turned to make a quick escape, somewhat embarrassed by his show of affection.

"Leah! Look at me!" Claire called out as she ran into the room. She was wearing the same dress she wore for Emily's wedding and she looked like a little princess.

"You look very pretty, Claire," Leah told her.

"So do you, Leah," Emily said as she followed Claire into the room. "That dress is perfect."

Kim came in behind Emily. "Wow! Leah . . . you're beautiful!"

"OK, OK, enough. You all are going to make me conceited. I'm starting to believe you," Leah told them.

Sue came in with the baby and announced that it was time to get going. "You don't want to keep your groom waiting."

"No, I do not! Let's go!" 

Over at Paul's house, the boys were hustling around trying to get ready. "Come on, Trav, hold still," Paul said as he was trying to help Travis tuck his shirt in. Tyler had just gotten out of the shower and Paul heard him walk across the hall and close his bedroom door. "Jared! Do you see Travis' tie out there?"

"Yeah, it's here on the chair with his jacket," Jared answered. Leah had tied all of their ties and hung them on the hanger with their suit. All they had to do was slip it over their head and push the knot up. Paul had smiled when he saw that. Even when she wasn't here, she was taking care of them.

Paul sent Travis out to Jared to finish getting dressed then he turned to the bed and pulled his own shirt on. He thought he would be nervous today, but he was actually very calm. Maybe it's because he knew this was the best decision he had ever made. He had no doubt whatsoever about marrying Leah. It was what he wanted most in the world.

After pulling on his pants, he tucked his shirt in, and pulled on his belt then he sat down on the bed to put on his shoes and socks before he made his way out to the living room. "Look at me, Paul! I look good," Travis bragged.

Paul chuckled at him. "Yeah, you do. Now do me a favor and stay clean!"

Travis actually rolled his eyes at Paul then sat down and turned on the TV. As the theme song from Sponge Bob Square Pants echoed through the room, Jared walked over and handed Paul his tie. "So? You nervous at all?"

"Nope, not at all, J." Paul put the tie over his head and slipped up the knot. "This is exactly what I've wanted for a year now. I am more than ready."

Jared grinned at him. "I hear that. I can't believe I still have to wait six more weeks!"

Tyler made his way to the living room and grabbed his tie and put it on then slipped into his jacket. "This good?" he asked Jared and Paul.

"Yeah, dude. Looks good," Jared answered.

Tyler nodded then announced he needed to go back to the bathroom and work on his hair. "It's still not right."

Jared cracked up as soon as Tyler left the room. "Oh my God, P. That kid kills me. Is Cristy making an appearance at this shin-dig?"

"Uh, I wouldn't mention that if I were you," Paul warned. "Since Cristy has moved onto high school, she's been a little more cool toward him. I think he thinks if he looks good, maybe she'll see what she's missing."

"Women," Jared huffed.

"Yeah, women," Travis muttered.

Paul had forgotten for a minute that Travis was sitting there as he was being unusually quiet. He looked at Jared who was laughing and then he said to Travis, "What do you know about women?"

Travis looked over at Paul. "When I left Carly's the other day, I told her I loved her and she told me to shut up," Travis explained. "I just told her, 'Whatever.' She's all, 'Let's play house and you be the dad, and then she's 'shut up and don't say that.' I don't get it."

Paul sat down next to Travis and asked, "You told her you love her? Do you even know what that means?"

"Duh, Paul. It's when you like being with a girl and you want to kiss her."

"Did you kiss Carly?"

"No, she wouldn't let me. She said maybe when we're older. How old do you have to be to kiss a girl anyway?" Tyler had walked back into the room and looked over at Paul like he was interested in that answer.

Paul glanced at Jared who was still snickering. "Well, I would say at least 13 for a single kiss. But no more than that till you're in high school."

"Oh," Travis said seriously.

"Look, buddy, you and Carly are good friends, right? Maybe you should just think of her that way . . . your best friend and leave love for when you're older."

Travis just shrugged and said, "OK."

"Good man," Paul told him as he stood up and walked back over to Jared. He gave Jared and a grin and shook his head. "I thought he'd be alot older before we had that talk."

"Seems to me, I remember someone telling me that he and some girl were just best friends. Look where that got you," Jared reminded him.

Paul grinned at that. "Yeah, well, let's hope that doesn't happen for Travis for a few more years at least."

Tyler tapped Paul on the shoulder. "Hey, we better get going. Leah will kill us if we're late."

Paul glanced at the clock. "Shit! You're right. OK, let's go get me married!" 

Kim had worked her magic and turned the cliff side into a romantic spot for a wedding. She had put some poles into the ground and tied some white, gauzy material to it to make a canopy for Paul and Leah to stand under. There were pillars with white flower arrangements on them set on both sides of the canopy and a white runner on the ground, held down by pots of white flowers all along the length of it to make an aisle. Since the ceremony wouldn't take too long, she didn't bother with chairs. She figured everyone could stand on either side of the runner.

Even though the weather was unseasonably warm, Kim had hung all sizes of glittery snowflakes in the trees with fish line, and they sparkled in the sunlight as they twisted with the slight breeze blowing.

As soon as Paul arrived and saw it, he was blown away. "This is perfect," he whispered to himself. Jared stepped up beside him and looked around. Paul turned to him and smiled. "I can hardly wait to see what she comes up with for your wedding."

"Me, either," Jared said in amazement.

It wasn't long before the guests started arriving. They all took their places on either side of the aisle and chatted before the ceremony started. Old Quil would be performing the ceremony for them today. Leah thought it was important for them to have a tribal elder marry them in the old way, and Paul agreed. He stood next to Billy while he waited for the rest of the bridal party to show up. Soon Charlie Swan walked in, without Bella, Paul noticed, and joined Billy and Old Quil.

Kim arrived with the single white rose boutonnières to pin on each guy. She also had the ring bearer pillow with the ring tied on it for Travis and Claire's flower petal basket. Everything and everyone was in place and the time for the ceremony to begin finally arrived.

Paul watched anxiously to see if his father would really show up. He seemed excited about it the other night, but now Paul was having doubts about asking him. Then he felt an elbow in his side and he glanced over at Jared. "Hey, P, who's the guy that just walked in? I don't know him."

Paul smiled and said, "That, dude, is my father."

Jared's mouth fell open. "He's your . . . that's your . . . dad?"

Paul chuckled and left Jared standing there stuttering to walk over to Jim. "Hey, Dad. Thanks for coming."

Jim's face erupted into a huge smile. "Thanks for asking me. You look good, son."

"Thanks."

Paul noticed Jim glancing over at Tyler, who was standing with Collin. Paul knew his dad wanted a closer relationship with Tyler, but that was going to have to come from Ty. Just then, Sam walked up. "Hey, Sam. This is my dad, Jim Uley. Jim, this is our cousin, Sam Uley."

"Well, Sam, it's good to see you," Jim said as he shook Sam's hand. "I believe we met once when you were just a little boy, at your grandpa's funeral."

"Is that right?" Sam asked. "Well, it's good to meet you again."

"I'll talk to you after the ceremony, alright?" Paul said.

"Sure, sure. Go get yourself married, son," Jim said as he clapped Paul on the shoulder.

Paul nodded with a grin and walked back up to the front to await the start of the ceremony.

Leah took her place behind some bushes so she was out of view of everyone until it was her turn to walk down the aisle. She closed her eyes and remembered the first time she had found Paul here the night before the fight with the newborns. She had been so scared that night and filled with uncertainty about what was to come the next morning. They slept here together and Paul had made her feel so safe and secure. Now here she stood, waiting to marry him, completely sure that whatever tomorrow brought, they could handle it together.

Emily walked up to stand beside her and handed her her bouquet of white roses. "Are you ready?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes! I am SO ready!" was Leah's answer.

Kim had set up a large CD player and placed it strategically where everyone would be able to hear the music. She had the CD with the wedding music keyed up and ready to go and had assigned the job of playing the music to Embry. He pushed play when she signaled him and the music filled the air. As Canon in D began playing, Sue, holding Noah, took Seth's arm to be walked down the aisle to her place up front. Then Seth turned and walked back to stand beside Leah as Claire and Travis made their way toward the canopy next. Everyone smiled at how cute they looked, as Claire gently tossed her rose petals like a pro.

Kim came next, walking slowly to the music, as Jared watched. He thought she had never looked more beautiful than today as she was dressed in a long, strapless dress that was sage green and went perfectly with her eyes. He winked at her as she took her place near the canopy and smiled as she blushed.

Emily made her entrance in a dress that was the same green color, but in a different high-waisted style to hide her growing baby bump. She smiled at Sam, who couldn't take his eyes off of her and then she took her place beside Kim.

Leah turned to Seth and said, "Well, this is it. Are you ready to give me away?"

"I've been trying to do that for years," Seth said in his dry humor.

Leah let out a short laugh and then was shocked as Seth bent to kiss her cheek. "Be happy, OK?"

"I will, Seth. I know I will."

Embry changed the track on the CD to the Wedding March and everyone turned to see Leah standing at the end of the white runner beside Seth, looking every bit the image of a beautiful bride. Paul felt his heart stop for a moment as he took her in. As she walked toward him, he fought to keep his emotions in check. The guys would never let him hear the end of it if they caught him crying.

When she arrived at the canopy, Seth took her hand and placed it into Paul's. He leaned toward Paul and whispered, "Be good to her so I don't have to kick your ass."

That made Paul chuckle. "OK, kid. I promise." Seth turned and went to stand beside his mom and Paul turned toward Leah. "Hello, beautiful."

She beamed at him and her eyes lit up. "Hello, handsome." Then they both turned toward Old Quil who began the ceremony.

He talked about the history of marriage in the tribe, and how important it had been to the ancestors then he in turn talked a little about Leah and Paul and how he had known them since they were both children. "It does my heart good to see these two commit to marriage today, and to the dedication they have demonstrated in being good parents to their son. This tribe's survival is based on actions such as these."

Paul and Leah each took their turns saying their vows, and when it came time for the ring, Travis stepped up and Jared untied the ring from the pillow to hand to Paul. Paul winked at Travis and whispered, "Good job, buddy. Stay right here with me, OK?" Travis nodded and stood beside Paul.

Leah was happy to see the plain white gold band that Paul had picked out to go with her engagement ring. He had explained that his grandma had been buried with her wedding ring because she had never taken it off since his grandpa had placed it on her finger on her wedding day. Leah decided she would do the same.

Then came the point in the ceremony that Paul had been waiting for: Old Quil said, "My dear family, I am very proud to present to you today, Mr. and Mrs. Paul Jacobs. Paul please claim your bride with a kiss."

Paul grinned at Leah and said out loud, "Gladly!" He took her happy, shiny face into his hands and placed his lips over hers. He could feel her tears run over his thumbs as their lips moved together. Finally he broke away as the guys all let out their wolf whistles and cheers. Paul rested his forehead against Leah's and gently wiped her tears away as he said, "I love you."

Leah's lip quivered as she said, "I love you, too . . . so much."

Paul pulled her into his arms and then surprised her by picking her up and twirling her around. As he set her down, they were assaulted by all their family and friends wishing them well. Leah was shocked at the kisses she received from Jared, Jake, Quil, Embry and even Sam. It wasn't that long ago that they all hated her! Now here they were, treating her like one of their best friends . . . or sister. It really made her very happy.

Leah was so pleased to see that Paul's father had come like he promised. He stepped up to her and smiled. "You make a very beautiful bride, Leah."

"Thank you."

"Would you mind too much if I kissed the bride?" Jim asked warily.

"Not at all."

Jim leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. "It's good to see Paul so happy. I wish you both all the best."

Sue, who was still holding Noah, moved to stand beside Leah. "Oh, Mom, this is Jim Uley, Paul's father."

"Well, hello," Sue greeted him warmly. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," Jim replied then he looked down at Noah. "Hey there little guy. You remember your grandpa?" Noah smiled at him and it made Jim chuckle. "Look at that. You do remember me, huh?"

"I need the bride and groom here for pictures, please!" Sue had hired a photographer to snap pictures, and he was busy hurrying people around to get that done. He posed the bride and groom for several pictures with and without the bridal party. Paul insisted on taking a couple of pictures of them with him holding Noah then he had Travis and Tyler pose with them for several more. He was very proud of his little family and thought it would be great to have a family portrait to display.

Then he shocked himself and his father as he spoke up and invited him to stand in for a picture. Leah looked at Paul in surprise, but also with pride. She knew it wasn't easy for him to trust his dad, but at least he was trying.

They also had some taken with Sue and Seth and then for fun, Leah suggested they have one taken of just the pack. That ended up being one of their favorite pictures.

Sue reminded everyone that the party was at her house, and the crowd dispersed to go to their cars to drive over there. Paul and Leah made their way to Paul's truck and then Leah broke out in laughter as it came into view. As soon as the ceremony was over, Tyler, Collin and Brady had snuck out and covered it with white crepe paper and balloons and had written "Just Hitched" on the back window. The three of them stood there laughing as they took in Paul's shocked face.

Paul just stood there staring and finally got out a weak, "My truck."

"It will clean up, don't worry," Leah reassured him.

Paul shook his head and moved to open the door for Leah then help her climb inside. He ran around to the driver's side and they waved at the crowd as he started the engine and drove away. Leah looked over at him with a grin plastered on her face.

"What?" he asked.

"I can't stop smiling!"

Paul chuckled and held his arm out for her to scoot over beside him. "Well, don't because you are so beautiful when you smile."

"Listen to you, you charmer. I'll bet you say that to all the girls."

"No, only to those who marry me."

"Oh, yeah?" Leah said as she turned her head to look at him. "And how many is that?"

"Just one, baby. Only one," he answered her with a cheeky grin.

Leah laid her head over onto Paul's shoulder. "Good, cause that's all you are going to get." 

Sue Clearwater knew how to put on a party, and this one was no exception. There was tons of food, Embry had music playing and everyone was having a great time. After they had a plate of food, Paul and Leah made the rounds being sure to talk to everyone there. Then they posed for more pictures, cut the cake and then Leah took a break to express as much milk as she could again to leave for Noah. She had taken some time earlier in the day to do that, but she was afraid of him running out. Sue assured her she could buy formula if she needed to, and told Leah to stop being a worry wart.

Paul had introduced his father around to everyone, and Leah noticed that he was fitting in pretty well. He had been nervous at first because he knew most of these people were aware that he had spent a good part of his life in jail, and he hadn't been there for Paul. There were a few who were a little cool to him, like Jared's parents and Billy. Billy had gone to school with Jim and of course, Jared's mom was related to his grandma, and they all hated what Jim and Doreen had done to Paul. But Leah understood that. She wasn't too crazy about it either. But at least Jim was trying to make amends now, and she was glad that there were some here who were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, Travis was happy he was here, and he bugged his "Uncle Jim" to tell him another cowboy story. Jim laughed and sat down with him and was happy to share another story. Leah even noticed how Tyler had sat close enough to listen. She smiled at Paul as he noticed, too.

The day had been perfect, just like they had imagined it, and they thanked Kim for all her hard work. "I promise to pay you back when it's time for your wedding. You just put me to work," Leah told her.

"I will hold you to that," Kim said as she leaned into Jared. They were both excited about their wedding coming up. After today, Kim thought she would have a hard time waiting six more weeks!

Kim reminded her she still needed to throw her bouquet. "Are you reminding me so you can catch it?"

"Maybe," Kim said while wiggling her eyebrows.

Leah laughed and went to find her bouquet. As soon as she found it, she stood on the stair steps and called out all the single ladies. Kim stood front and center then looked around and realized she was the only one standing there. "Alright, come on," she said to everyone. "Am I really the only single girl here?"

Finally, Collin's sister, Cristy stepped up and Cara, the girl that Embry brought as a date stepped up. Kim rolled her eyes at Leah and said, "OK, make it a good throw."

Leah laughed and turned around then launched the bouquet over her shoulder. She threw it a little farther than she thought and it hit Seth in the head. "Really, Leah? Do I look like a girl to you?"

"You do to me!" Embry hollered.

Everyone laughed as he threw it back to her. "Sorry!" Leah called to him then she turned and tried again and this time it flew in a perfect arch right into Kim's hands. Jared stepped up and picked her up and planted a kiss on her lips. "Great catch, baby!"

After that, Leah told Paul to step up as she lifted her skirt to show off her garter. Of course, being Paul, he pulled it off with his teeth as the guys all whistled. When he had it off, he held it up like a trophy. "Alright, boys, line up!"

Embry, Jared, Jake and Quil stepped up first. Paul looked out to Seth and called him up. "You really think I want to touch something that my sister wore on her thigh? That's sick, dude." Paul laughed and had to admit, maybe that was kind of gross. Collin and Brady walked up, but Tyler sided with Seth and stood in the back with him.

"OK, guys, here goes," Paul shouted as he turned his back to them. He flung it over his shoulder and then watched as Jacob made a lunge for it and snagged it away from Jared. He held it up and hollered, "Yes!"

"So not fair, bro," Jared huffed.

"Yeah, right, Jared. You already have your woman. I need all the help I can get!" Jacob told him.

Jared laughed and patted him on the back. "You're right. It's yours."

Paul took Leah by the hand and led her into the kitchen where he swept her into his arms and kissed her with all the passion he had been saving since last night. "Are you ready to start the honeymoon yet?" he whispered into her ear.

Those words sent shivers up and down her spine as she whispered back a simple, "Yes."

They kissed some more until Sue walked into the kitchen and caught them. "Alright, you two, go. I know you can't stand being apart for more than two minutes. Go and make me another grandbaby."

"Mom!" shouted Leah in embarrassment.

Paul just laughed at Leah's red face. "Sounds like a good idea to me."

Sue put down the platter she had in her hand and walked over to Leah. "Oh stop it, Leah. I'm old, but I'm not a prude and you shouldn't be either. Enjoy your wedding night. With three boys in the house, it may be the last night you two get all to yourself for quite awhile."

Leah rolled her eyes and smiled then hugged her mom. "Thank you for everything, Mom. You did so much to make this day perfect."

"You're welcome, honey. I love you, you know."

"I love you, too." Leah pulled away and added, "And thank you so much for watching Noah and the boys. Are you sure you can handle all three of them? I mean, Sam and Emily can . . . "

"Of course I can handle them. Besides, Seth will be here to help. We'll be fine. Travis even asked me today if he could call me Grandma. Made me feel so good. I told him of course he could."

Leah smiled at that then turned to look at Paul as he said, "Thanks, Sue. That was really nice of you."

"Oh, I love that boy, you know I do. Who doesn't? He's such a pistol."

Just then, Travis ran into the kitchen. "Grandma, Claire spilled punch all over her dress. Emily sent me in here to get something to clean her up."

"OK, I'm on it. Thanks, honey," Sue told him then she winked at Leah and Paul and turned to the sink to wet a washcloth.

"Hey, Trav," Paul said to get his attention. "Leah and I are going to leave soon. You OK staying here while we're gone?"

"Yep! Seth is going to take me fishing tomorrow and Grandma said she would cook whatever we caught."

Paul squatted down and said, "Good, I'm glad. But I'm going to miss you. Can I have a hug?"

"Sure." Travis hugged him then turned to Leah. "Do you want one, too?"

Leah smiled and answered, "Of course. Your hugs are the best!" She kneeled down and let Travis give her a big hug.

"Bye, guys!" he called out then he took the washcloth from Sue and ran back to help clean up Claire.

"Oh, Paul. I'm telling you, that boy is too cute for his own good," Sue said.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

Leah and Paul made their way out to their guests and Paul announced it was time to start the honeymoon. That brought wolf whistles and cat calls from the guys and Leah watched Paul strut around like he was a peacock or something. She just rolled her eyes and walked over to take Noah from Emily and put kisses all over his little face. She was going to miss him terribly. She had never been away from him for more than a few hours. Tears stung her eyes as she handed him back to Emily.

Paul put his arm around her and drew her close. "I'll miss him, too, baby, but he'll be in good hands. He won't even know we're gone." He reached out and ran his hand lightly over his head then bent down and kissed him.

"I know, but it's still hard."

Paul took her by the hand and drew her towards the door. "Where's your bag?" She nodded over to the stairway where her bag sat there on the floor. Paul went and picked it up and then announced they were leaving. Everyone called good bye and waved as they walked out to the truck. Paul threw her bag into the back seat then helped her in. As he walked around the truck, he pulled off the crepe paper and balloons so they wouldn't fly off while they were driving down the road. Tyler saw him and ran out with a garbage bag to help.

"You aren't mad about the truck, are you?" Tyler asked warily.

"No, I'm not. It was all in good fun. I just don't want it to fly off while I'm driving and cause a wreck or something."

Tyler smiled and nodded. When they were done, Paul said to him, "Keep Travis in line, OK?"

"Don't I always?" was Tyler's answer.

"Yeah, you do. OK, gotta go. See you tomorrow night."

"Have fun," Tyler said with a wicked grin.

"What's that supposed to mean, little brother?" Paul asked with the same wicked grin.

"Please. Like you think I don't know how much you and Leah have sex? Geez, you're like rabbits or something."

That made Paul laugh really hard. "Oh yeah? Rabbits, huh. Well, I guess I'm a lucky man. I hope you get so lucky someday . . . way, way in the future."

"Hey, I'm in no hurry. But I wouldn't mind a kiss or two. So, I have to wait until I'm 13, huh? Isn't that what you told Travis today?"

"Yeah, you do. Why, you got a girl lined up do you?"

Tyler smiled slyly. "Maybe. See ya, Romeo!" he called out as he picked up the garbage bag and ran for the house.

Paul just chuckled, shook his head and opened the door to climb in behind the wheel.

"What was that all about?" Leah asked.

"Nothing. Tyler's funny, that's all."

"Yeah, OK, whatever."

Paul turned to Leah and asked, "OK, Mrs. Jacobs. Are you ready for the night of your life?"

"You sound a little cocky there, Mr. Jacobs."

"Oh, you just wait. You have no idea how 'cocky' I can get."

Leah rolled her eyes at his bad joke and Paul took off toward Port Angeles. She smiled as she looked at him and she knew this would be one of the happiest nights of her life.


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

PLEASE PLEASE ME

"Here we are," Paul said as they stopped outside their door. They had checked in to a very nice inn along the waterfront and were given a key to the honeymoon suite. Paul unlocked the door then stopped Leah from walking inside. Smiling as he dropped their bags, Paul scooped Leah up into his arms to carry her over the threshold.

"Who would have guessed that this big, bad werewolf had a romantic side?" Leah asked with a grin.

Paul growled and nipped at Leah's shoulder and to her horror, she giggled, which made him laugh. Setting Leah on her feet inside the door, Paul then went back into the hall to pick up their bags making sure to put out the _Do Not Disturb_ sign before closing the door.

"Wow, look at this room. Paul, this place is really nice." There was a huge, four poster bed in the middle of the room, a large flat screen TV and beside the window that faced the water was a table and two chairs. On the table was a basket filled with fruit and snacks and in an ice bucket, a bottle of champagne. Leah laughed at that and asked, "Do you think they realize you aren't even old enough to drink this?"

"I look old enough," Paul commented. "I may only be 19, but I look at least 25, don't you think?"

"True. Do you have any idea how to open a bottle of champagne?"

Paul thought about that then answered, "I have no idea. I'm a beer man."

Leah laughed as she walked over to check out the bathroom. After flipping the light switch, the first thing she saw was the huge Jacuzzi tub. "Oh, Paul, wait until you see this tub. I can't wait to try this out."

Paul walked in behind her and nuzzled her neck. "I'm really only interested in one thing right now."

Leaning back against him, she could feel his erection. "Gee, I wonder what that would be."

Leah smiled as Paul slowly pulled down the zipper on the back of her dress while kissing her neck and shoulders. The dress fell into a puddle at her feet and she carefully stepped out of it then turned to stand in front of Paul in her strapless bra and lacy white panties. "Yeah, baby, that's what I'm talkin about," he said with a grin as he scooped her up into his arms and moved to deposit her onto the four poster bed.

Leah carefully pulled out the pins holding the orchid in her hair and set it on the nightstand before laying back against the pillows to watch shed his jacket and hang it over a chair. He had taken his tie off back at the party, and now he was slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Leah could see the light glint off of the silver chain with the wolf charm his father had given him as he pulled the shirt off over his muscular shoulders and down his arms to let it fall to the floor. Leah took in his chiseled abs as he unzipped his pants and then stepped out of them and laid them over the chair with his jacket. Next he took off his socks and then moved to stand beside the bed and look down at her as he smiled and slid his boxers off to show her just how much he wanted her.

Leah grinned and patted the bed beside her, so Paul returned her grin and crawled onto the bed to lay beside her.

"I forgot to thank you for the little surprise you left me last night," he said.

"Yeah? You liked them?"

Paul held out his hand that was balled into a fist, and opened it. The black panties fell out of his hand and onto the bed. "I had them in my pants pocket today," Paul admitted with a grin.

Leah laughed at that. "I knew you'd like them. Now, will you stop messing around and kiss me already?"

"Ooh, I love it when you're bossy," he answered with a smile. "But I want to take my time when I make love to my wife for the first time." His _wife . . . did he really say that? _Taking her in his arms, Paul kissed her softly on the lips. He didn't want to rush things . . . they had all night after all. But it was always hard to hold back with Leah. She was just so damn sexy.

Leah wrapped her arms around Paul's neck and sighed into his mouth as his tongue stroked hers. She could feel the warmth spread all through her body as Paul pressed himself against her. It was amazing how Paul could excite her like Sam never could. Of course, to be fair, she and Sam had both been virgins, and they really had no idea what they were doing.

Paul's hand slipped around behind her to unhook her bra then he pulled it away from her and proceeded to lightly run his fingers up and down her back. It was like a shot of electricity running up and down her spine.

"Paul," she breathed in his ear as he kissed his way down her cheek to her neck and then to her shoulder. He could feel the heat pick up between them and he had to remind himself again to hold back and not move too fast. His hand slid around to the front of her body to brush lightly against her breast and he smiled as he heard her small gasp. He loved that he could excite her and make her want him as much as he wanted her.

Paul lightly palmed the tip of her breast, much to Leah's delight then he lowered his head to tease it with his tongue. Leah arched her back and sighed which made Paul's lips turn up into a smile. Her hands wound into his hair and she tugged as his tongue swooped over and around her nipple. Paul stopped for a moment to prop himself on his elbow and look down at her as he said softly, "God, Leah . . . you're so beautiful."

"You make me feel beautiful," Leah replied with a smile.

Paul bent to kiss her again and let his hand graze over her stomach. It was his turn to gasp as Leah's hand tightened around him, gently pulling and stroking . . . it was killing him. He loved her touch, but it made it harder to take things slow. He found his hand slowly sliding toward her panties. Ooh, they were silky, like the black ones she had left him, and they were also very wet. He loved that most.

"Yes, Paul," Leah whispered in a rush as soon as his fingers touched her panties, her hips moving in anticipation. Paul ran his hand lightly over the outside of her panties and she heard a moan escape from her mouth. Dragging his lips away from hers to look at her, Paul smiled as Leah begged, "Please . . . don't make me wait."

Finally, Paul's fingers slipped inside her panties and Leah sighed. She was so wet . . . it was almost his undoing. His fingers slid along her folds as she opened her legs wider and he kissed her mouth as his fingers slid inside to strok her just like she loved to be stroked until she tore her mouth away from his to cry out. "_Yes, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop_ . . . " then she arched her back and he could feel her wetness seep out all over his hand as she came.

"_Oh yesssssssss_," Leah hissed as she came down. Paul smiled down at her as he slid her now soaking wet panties off of her. Her arms locked around his neck and she ravaged his lips as he rolled over on top of her and positioned himself at her entrance. He was throbbing now with wanting her, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't hold back any longer. Pushing forward slowly until he was completely buried inside her, Paul stopped and tried to catch his breath to keep himself from coming too soon. Leah's legs instantly wrapped around his waist and she lifted herself to allow him to go deeper, which wasn't helping.

"Oh, baby, come on . . . don't stop, " Leah whispered, and so Paul began to move. She met him stroke for stroke as he drove in and out, faster and deeper, her nails digging into his shoulder as her hips moved with his. He drove harder and harder until he felt her body stiffen and she cried out then . . . _sweet release_. Paul was always so amazed at how Leah could make him feel . . . never had any other girl made him feel so . . . complete.

Leah lay there beneath her husband, feeling as if her whole body had just turned to jelly. Her orgasm shook her to the core and she could still feel spasms as she came down from it.

After his body finally calmed a little, Paul rolled to the side, taking Leah with him, and panted as he tried to catch his breath. Opening his eyes, he looked at his wife who had a smile on her face that lit up the whole room. "Well, Mr. Jacobs, how do you like married life so far?" she asked.

Chuckling, he replied, "I'd say it's about perfect, Mrs. Jacobs. How about you?"

"Perfect," she purred.

They lay there for awhile, wrapped in each other's arms, just enjoying the moment until Leah's stomach growled. Paul looked over at her and asked, "Didn't you have anything to eat at the party?"

"I tried to eat, but every time I got something close to my mouth, someone wanted to talk, or Noah needed me, or Mom would ask for my help with something. I guess I didn't eat enough."

Paul pushed himself from the bed and went to the table where the huge gift basket sat. "Well, let's see what we have in here, shall we?" Picking it up, Paul brought it with him to set it in the middle of the huge bed and tear off the cellophane wrapping. There were all kinds of fruit, a box of Belgian chocolates, some cheese, crackers , and a couple of different kinds of cookies.

Leah pulled out an apple and took a bite. "Really?" Paul asked. "Out of all of this, you take an apple?"

"What? It was the first thing I grabbed."

Paul was tearing open the chocolates. As soon as he had one in his mouth, he sighed, "Oh my God, Leah, you have to try this. Give me that apple and put this into your mouth." Grabbing the apple from her hand, he put a chocolate into her mouth.

As it melted on her tongue, she sighed. "Mmm, that is heavenly." They sat there naked, in the middle of the big bed, eating and laughing and just being . . . Leah loved every minute. "I wish there was some ice cream," she told Paul with a grin.

Paul nodded then leaned over and kissed her as they shared that memory of eating ice cream naked in his bed. "You know I can't eat ice cream anymore without getting a hard on," he told her. Leah laughed at that, and Paul smiled as realized how much he loved the sound of her laugher. "Hey, should I try to open the champagne?" he asked.

"Sure, why not."

Paul climbed off of the bed to walk to the table and take the bottle of champagne out of the ice bucket. There was some wire wrapped around the top, so Paul took that off then tried to ease the cork out of the top. Suddenly the cork popped and champagne shot out all over the table and Paul. Leah burst out laughing then ran and got a towel to help clean up the mess as Paul poured some into each glass.

"Well, that was messy," Paul said as he handed her a glass after everything was cleaned up. "I hope it was worth the trouble."

Leah threw down the towel and held out her glass. "A toast, to my wonderful, sexy husband. I think I'm going to like being married."

Paul smiled at that and added, "And to my bride, who has made me a very happy man." They grinned at each other and then they each took a sip.

"Not bad," Leah said.

"I like beer better, but maybe that's just a guy thing."

"Yeah, probably."

Leah leaned forward and kissed Paul on the lips. "Mmmm, I think I like kissing better."

"Well, we can do that anytime you want," Paul returned with another kiss. They kissed a few more times then Paul downed his glass of champagne and poured another before walking back to the bed and positioning himself against the pillows then he held out his arm for Leah to sit beside him. She smiled and walked over to climb onto the bed and snuggle into his arms.

"I actually had to talk to my little brother today about kissing girls. Can you believe that?" Paul told her.

"Really? Is Tyler making the move on Cristy?"

"Uh, no. It was Travis."

Leah looked over at him in shock. "Travis? Are you kidding me?"

Paul chuckled. "No, I'm not. Apparently, he told Carly he loved her the other day then he tried to kiss her."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Yeah, she didn't let him. She told him they should wait until they're older. So then he asks me how old you have to be to kiss a girl. I told him 13."

"You said 13? Maybe you should have said like 16."

"Oh come on, Leah. Like you didn't kiss a boy in middle school?"

"OK, you got me," Leah smiled. "So how did he take it?"

"Like he takes everything. He just shrugged and said, 'OK.' As I thought about it, I realized that maybe I should talk to both of the boys about sex. Considering all the things they saw growing up with . . . _her_."

"I didn't think about that. God, I hate the thought of the things they heard and saw."

"Yeah, me, too," Paul replied. "I never had anyone talk to me about sex, and I should have. I feel so bad now about how I treated all those girls I had sex with. I just used them as a sexual release . . . I was so selfish."

"All those girls? How many are we talkin?"

Paul grinned at her. "Jealous?"

"Maybe," she said warily.

"Don't worry. It's not that many. It's just after I phased, sex was like . . . like a primal need or something. I got pretty tired of Mr. Hand, if you know what I mean, and so I took to chasing down any girl that would have sex with me. Did you feel like that? About sex?"

Leah looked at him sheepishly. "Well, it was a little different for me. I was trying to get over Sam, and losing my Dad . . . it wasn't a priority at the time. But later . . . yeah, I felt those urges." She didn't want to tell him about the vivid dreams she had of Sam and how she would wake up in the middle of the night, in a sweat, throbbing from wanting him. Or more embarrassing . . . how she actually found herself lusting after Embry one night after watching him phase back into his very naked human body. No way she would let anyone know about that one!

"So? What did you do about them?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah, I want to know," Paul returned with a grin.

"Well, the only guy I ever had sex with was Sam, and since he was out of the picture, I, uh . . . I took care of things myself. A lot."

"Yeah?"

"Would you stop! Yeah, I did. And then you and I . . . well, it was nice to have someone as sexy as you to help me out with that."

"Mmm, I agree," he said as he nuzzled her ear.

"But when I left and was alone again, well, I used to fantasize about you and . . . you know."

"Ooh, that's hot. Maybe I can watch sometime?"

Leah smacked him as he chuckled. "So? What about you?"

Paul sat up and looked at her. "What do you mean, 'what about you?' "

"After I left . . . did you . . . and Mr. Hand . . . " she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"Yeah, we got re-acquainted," Paul admitted. "I hate to say that I was pretty hard up when I thought you were done with me. I even called and made a date with one of my old girls, but when she showed up, I just couldn't go through with it and I sent her away. I just couldn't look at her without seeing you. Even when Rach and I . . . " Paul suddenly realized what he said and stopped talking.

"You and Rachel?" Leah asked softly. "You . . . had sex with her?"

Paul closed his eyes and cursed at himself, _Fuck. Way to go, asshole. _Opening his eyes, Paul sat up and turned Leah to face him as he said, "Just a few times, because everyone, including you, kept telling me to quit fighting the imprint, to just give in and try to be with her. So, when she pushed for it, I did and Leah, I can tell you honestly that I felt horrible because all I could see was your face. I even fantasized that I was with you and not her. I started avoiding her, not spending any time alone with her . . . it wasn't fair to her, or you, or me. You do understand, don't you?"

Leah nodded slowly. She did understand, but it didn't mean she had to like it. And she didn't, but she said, "Yes. I understand."

Paul took Leah's face in his hands. "Baby, look, why are we talking about this? It's all in the past. Here we are, together, on our wedding night. We should be concentrating on just the two of us." Leah nodded. "You are the only woman I have ever loved. Since that first time we slept together on the cliff top . . . you are all I have thought about. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Paul, I know that."

Paul kissed her gently on the lips. "OK, then. Let's get back to the honeymoon. What do you say?"

Leah smiled and said, "I say, I think I want to take a bath. Want to join me?"

"Oh, yeah."

Leah kissed Paul quickly then made her way to the bathroom to fill the tub. She was hurting from thinking of Paul with Rachel, but she quickly tried to shove that away. Paul was right . . . it was in the past and that's where it would stay. She was on her honeymoon, and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Paul picked up a banana from the basket and peeled it then leaned back against the pillows to take a bite. He hated that he had hurt Leah by admitting he had sex with Rachel. He promised himself he would never hurt her like that again.

"Oh my God," Leah panted. "We have to get one of these tubs. Who knew sex could be so good in a Jacuzzi?" She was straddling Paul and had just enjoyed a great orgasm. Paul was still rock hard though, and wanted more than anything to cum. Leah climbed off of him then he got out of the tub and grabbed her hand. "Baby, come here."

Leah looked over and could see that Paul wasn't finished yet. She climbed out of the tub and looked at him curiously. He guided her over to the counter. "Here, hold on to the counter and bend over."

She did as he asked and then smiled at him in the mirror as he put his hands on her hips and while he looked at her reflection, he slipped inside her from behind. "Oh, baby . . . oh that feels so good," he said to her as his hands dug into her hips as he drove into her over and over . . . it didn't take too long until he felt himself let go.

"Are you OK?" he asked quickly.

"Oh yessss," Leah purred. "I liked that . . . a lot."

Paul chuckled. "Believe it or not, I've never done it that way before. But I liked it, too . . . a lot." Pulling out, Paul turned Leah around to kiss her. "If I ever do anything you don't want to do . . . "

Leah put her finger over his lips. "I know. But, I want you to know that I don't mind trying new things."

"Oh, I am such a lucky man."

"Yes, you are. Don't forget that," Leah said with a kiss.

"Mmm, I won't."

"Now, I think I am going to add a little more hot water and get back into this tub to soak." She leaned over and turned the hot water faucet on as Paul said, "OK. I'm going back out to lay down for a bit."

Leah crawled back into the tub and turned on the jets as Paul made his way back to bed. Laying her head back, she thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of the jets forcing the hot water over her aching muscles. She loved sex with Paul, but she decided she might have to pace herself. He was rather large, and it was challenging to take all of him. But she could, and she enjoyed it immensely. Allowing her eyes to drift shut, she smiled as she suddenly realized she didn't care that Paul had had sex with Rachel or any of the other girls. That was in the past. From now on, he was hers, and she would spend every day of the rest of her life being very thankful for that. 

Paul decided he was very hungry, and the snack foods just weren't cutting it. So, while Leah was in the tub, he called down to the front desk and asked if they knew of a restaurant nearby that would deliver at this late hour. They told him they would be happy to make a meal and bring it up. He thanked them then pulled on his boxers and poured himself another glass of champagne. After pouring one for Leah, he walked into the bathroom to tell her what he did.

"Were you talking to someone?" she asked as she took the glass he held out for her.

"Yeah. I ordered dinner to be brought up. The snacks just aren't enough."

"I know. I'm starving!" she answered as she took a sip of her champagne.

"Me, too. How's the bath?"

"Heavenly," she sighed. "But the water is getting cold, and I think I'm getting pretty shriveled." Turning the jets off, Leah stood to get out as Paul handed her a towel then she dried off and wrapped the towel around her. She took her glass of champagne from Paul and followed him back out to the other room.

Leah stopped to stand at the window and look out at the water. The moon reflected on the water, and she smiled as she watched it's reflection ripple with the waves . . . it reminded her of the night she and Paul spent on the cliffside. Just then, Paul's arms crept around her waist and she leaned back into him then took a sip of her champagne. "Did you ever imagine we would ever get to this place?" Leah asked.

"I always hoped . . . but there were times when I wasn't so sure."

Turning, Leah set her glass on the table before saying, "I am so sorry, Paul, for running away from you. I will never forgive myself for keeping Noah from you."

"Leah, we've been over this. We can't change the past, so forget it. We're moving forward," Paul told her sternly.

Leah sighed then nodded as she wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know."

Paul held her for a moment the suggested, "Come on. Let's just relax until dinner gets here."

Leah followed Paul to the bed where he relaxed against the pillows, while she lay down on her stomach facing him. "Hey, did you hear that Bella is back?" Paul asked Leah.

Paul could tell from the shocked look on her face that she didn't know. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Paul chuckled. "I love your foul mouth."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know. Now spill. How did you hear?"

"Jacob was late to the bachelor party because Bella called him and asked him to come and see her at her dad's. Jake said she told him that she left her bloodsucker and was living with Charlie again."

"Great, just great. I swear to God if she strings him along again, I will mess her up."

"Ooh, cat fight," Paul said with a wicked grin.

"I mean it, Paul. I hate that bitch. It's all her fault that I phased in the first place. And Seth, and Collin and Brady . . . if it wasn't for her chasing after that disgusting wimpy-ass bloodsucker . . . "

"Geez, Leah. I had no idea you hated her so much."

Leah sighed and tried to get a hold on her anger. "I guess I shouldn't, but because of her, we were invaded by fucking leeches. Before she moved here, things were quiet and we didn't need wolves to protect us. Life was normal . . . and then she treated Jake like shit, and . . . I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll stop my rant."

Paul smiled at her. "Well, I like to see you get all fired up, but maybe you can save it for another time."

Leah shot him a small smile as she relented, "OK. So I take it Jake is thrilled."

"Yeah, but she told him she needed some time to think things through then she wanted to talk to him again. Doesn't sound too promising to me."

"Me either, but I'm sure Jake is sniffing all over her."

Paul shrugged. "I told him some time ago to get her alone and plant his seed, you know? Get her pregnant then maybe she'll stick around."

Leah's mouth fell open. "You did not!"

"Yeah, I did. Maybe if he gave her something the leech couldn't, she'd finally realize how fucking stupid she's been."

Leah snorted. "I doubt it."

Paul sat up and said, "I better pull some clothes on so I can answer the door when the food gets here."

Opening his bag, Paul pulled out a pair of jeans and slid them on. Leah watched and enjoyed the view. "You are one sexy man, do you know that?"

Paul gave her his sexiest smile as flexed his muscles for her. "You like that, baby?"

Leah laughed and moved into a kneeling position in front of him. "Yes, I do. Come here."

He moved closer so she could run her hands over his chiseled abs and chest. Just as she leaned into kiss him, there was a knock on the door. "Room service!" they heard.

Leah jumped up and ran to the bathroom as Paul chuckled at her then moved to answer the door, opening it to allow the man to bring the tray in and set it on the table. Thanking him as he pushed a five into his hand, Paul closed the door behind him then called, "OK, you can come out now."

Leah opened the bathroom door and smiled. "Should I put something on?"

"Oh, I don't think so. I like the towel just fine," Paul replied as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Paul pulled out a chair for Leah and she smiled and patted his cheek as she sat down at the table then Paul moved to sit across from her. Leah lifted the lids from their plates and actually felt herself salivating at the chicken dish before her. They dug into the food and ate every bite, except the cheesecake that was there for dessert. Then they piled all of the dishes back onto the tray and Paul set it out in the hall to be picked up. When he came back, Leah was sitting in the middle of the bed enjoying her cheesecake.

"Mmm, you have to try this. It's almost as good as the chocolate."

Paul slipped out of his jeans and sat on the bed beside her to pick up his plate of cheesecake and had to agree with her . . . it was delicious. After they finished, Paul put their plates on the nightstand beside the bed and laid back then invited Leah to lay beside him and before long, they dozed off.

Paul woke up a couple of hours later to find Leah digging in her overnight bag for something. She caught him looked and smiled as she assured him, "I'll be back." Then she walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Paul stared at the door curiously then moved to prop himself up against the pillows. He couldn't believe how relaxed he felt. He had no worries . . . Leah was here, the boys were safe with her mom . . . life was good.

"Hey, handsome," he heard Leah say from the bathroom doorway. He opened his eyes to see her standing there in a short, black, silky nightgown. A smile curved onto his lips as he watched her walk across the room, her hips swaying with each step. She stopped at the end of the bed for a moment then she crawled slowly toward him, moving to settle between his legs. He could hardly breathe.

"So? You like it?" Leah asked.

He struggled to get out, "Hell, yeah."

She grinned and then climbed up to straddle him. His hands itched to feel the material over her body as his eyes took in every inch. Her nipples were standing out just begging to be touched. He raised his hand to reach out for her and she grabbed it and held it down. "No, baby. Look, but don't touch," she whispered with a sexy smile.

"Oh yeah?" Paul whispered back. Leah nodded and then proceeded to put light kisses over his chest and stomach. She looked up at him then leaned forward to kiss his lips, gently at first then she bit his bottom lip and sucked it into her mouth. Paul felt himself come to under Leah and she broke away and grinned at him. "Hmmm, someone is anxious to join the party."

Paul grinned and reached out for her. Again she stopped him and shook her head. "Come on, baby, I want so much to run my hands over your body and feel the silky . . . " she cut him off with a vicious kiss, devouring his lips as she held his hands out to the sides of his body. She lifted her head from his lips and whispered, "All in due time . . . when I say you can."

Paul had to admit, he really like this dominating side of Leah. She slid down his body, and he loved the feeling of the silky material against his stomach. She went back to planting kisses on his chest and even nipped at his nipple which caused him to jump a little. She snickered and moved down to put kisses across his stomach and then she kissed lower and lower until she came to the waistband of his boxers.

She looked up at him with a wicked grin and pulled them down with her teeth. Paul gasped and let out a moan and Leah knew she had him right where she wanted him. She disposed of the boxers then ran her hands slowly up his thighs. "Oh God, Leah . . . " was all he could get out.

She settled between his legs then leaned forward to brush her silky covered breasts along his erection. Again he moaned and she smiled. She just hoped she was brave enough to actually do what she had wanted to do for a very long time. Finally she leaned down and ran her tongue all along his shaft. "Oh. My. God." he sighed. She ran her tongue over the soft tip and then sucked just the tip into her mouth.

It wasn't as bad as she thought, and she grew braver by the minute, again sliding her tongue up and down then she sucked as much as she could get into her mouth and moved her tongue around the tip. Paul threw his head back and she heard him hiss out, "_Yessssss_." She loved the power she felt at being able to please Paul like he did her.

Leah continued her exploration until Paul felt like he might explode. "Leah, stop . . . stop, I might . . . Oh God . . . " it was almost too late. He put his hands in her hair and pulled. "Leah, honey, stop . . . " Her head came up and she asked softly, "Am I not doing it right?"

Smiling, Paul got out, "No, that was fucking great, but I was afraid I would . . . "

"OK, I get it," she said as she slid toward him to kiss his lips hungrily as she moved to straddle him. "You can touch me now," she whispered into his ear.

Paul groaned as his hands ran up and down her sides feeling the material glide over her body. He sat up and surprised her by sucking a nipple into his mouth, material and all. She was so wet and he could feel it as she slid up and down over him. Her head was thrown back and she moaned as he nipped at her breast.

"I need you, baby," she said as she moved to take all of him inside her. As she bounced up and down on him, her hands digging in to his strong shoulders, he moved with her to give her all of him. "Oh, yes, yes . . . oh, Paul. . . " and then, he felt her contract around him as he emptied himself into her.

Paul fell back, taking Leah with him and they lay there panting. "Oh Leah . . . that was so . . . that was fucking hot."

She laughed softly and looked up at him. "I've been planning that for quite awhile. I'm glad you liked it. You know, the black underwear go with this nightgown. I thought it would be more fun to give them to you separately."

"Mmm, you were right."

They lay there for awhile then Paul rolled so he and Leah were side by side. "There are no words to describe how I feel right now," he told her as he gazed into her eyes.

She smiled and nodded. "I know . . . me, too."

"All I can say is, I love you."

Tears pricked her eyes as she said, "I love you, too."

Paul happened to glance at the clock and notice it was 12:01. Smiling, he said, "It's after midnight. Happy New Year, baby." Then he kissed her softly on the lips as the exhaustion from the day and from their lovemaking finally caught up with them and they slept. 

When Leah woke, the sun was already shining through the window. She squinted and looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was after eight! She couldn't remember the last time she slept that many hours in a row without getting up to feed the baby. Leah pushed herself up slowly, so as not to wake Paul and wiped her hair out of her face and realized how heavy her breasts were. She was glad she had brought the pump with her. She got out of bed and went to the bathroom to retrieve it from her bag. As she pumped her breast milk, she decided to call and check on the baby.

So, when she was finished, she went to Paul's pants and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. She stopped to look at Paul and she smiled as she took in the sight of him. He was sprawled out in the middle of the bed on his stomach, the sheets wound all around him, his muscular back and legs the only thing showing. Leah decided that was definitely a sight she could wake up to every morning for the rest of her life.

Leah crept quietly back to the bathroom to make her call. Her mom answered on the second ring. "Hello, Leah. Yes, the baby is fine."

Leah laughed into the phone. "How did you know it was me?"

"It's a quarter after eight in the morning. No one else I know would be calling so early the morning after one of my parties."

"Well, I guess that's right."

"Although, Travis and Seth are already up and getting ready for their fishing trip. I just made them breakfast. Travis is so excited! He slept in a sleeping bag on Seth's floor last night. Seth told him it was like camping."

Leah smiled at her brother's thoughfulness. "Seth is so sweet to do this. I guess I'll have to be nice to him now."

"That would be a nice change of pace," Sue agreed. "Now, get off of the phone and get back to the honeymoon. We'll see you later today."

"OK, Mom. Bye." Leah closed the phone and sighed. As much as she missed her little family, she was determined to enjoy the time she had left alone with her husband. _Her husband._ She liked the sound of that.

As she walked quietly back into the other room, Paul asked, "He's perfectly fine, isn't he?" Leah turned to see Paul smiling at her from the bed. He had rolled over to his back and had his arms behind his head.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Leah lied innocently as she slipped the phone back into Paul's pants pocket.

Paul just chuckled. "Oh, so you didn't just steal my phone out of my pocket and go into the bathroom to call your mother and check on our son?"

Leah climbed onto the bed and snuggled into his side. "OK, fine, you caught me. And yes, he's fine."

Paul's arms came around her and his chest vibrated under her ear as he laughed softly. "It's OK. I hate to admit it, but I was thinking about the little booger, too. And the boys."

"Mom said that Seth and Travis are already up eating breakfast then they are going fishing."

"Mmm, that's good. Trav will love that."

"So, what time do we have to be out of here?"

"I think eleven."

"Hmm, what can we do to pass the time until then?" Leah asked as she ran her hand over Paul's chest.

All of a sudden he flipped her over onto her back and she let out a little cry in surprise. Then she started laughing as he gave her his best wolf growl and nipped at her shoulder. "Are you scared of the big, bad wolf little girl?"

"Should I be?"

Paul grinned at her. "Oh you should be afraid . . . very afraid." Then she felt him press his hardness into her thigh and she smiled. "Go ahead, wolf boy . . . take me." So he did.


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

CAN'T BUY ME LOVE

As Paul drove, Leah watched the scenery fly by the window. They had finally gotten out of bed, showered and dressed and checked out around eleven. But, of course, they were both starving, so they stopped at a little restaurant along the waterfront that was serving a New Year's Day brunch buffet and Leah had teased Paul about how many times he went to the buffet. "They might kick us out for eating too much."

"The sign says, 'All You Can Eat.' "

"Yes, but I think that means all a _human _can eat . . . not a werewolf."

"Well then, they should put that on the sign," Paul huffed as he inhaled his third stack of pancakes. Leah just shook her head and laughed. She loved his logic.

Now they were on the road headed back to their family and Leah for some reason was having a hard time adjusting to being so . . . _happy._ This blissful feeling was so new to her . . . she was afraid that something would happen and it would all disappear. In the past, every time she thought life was great, disaster would strike to show her it was fleeting. She started to think maybe she didn't deserve to be happy.

"You're awful quiet over there," Paul commented. "You OK?"

"Hmm?" Leah turned her head as she realized Paul had said something to her. "Oh, yeah. Just thinking."

"Anything you want to share?"

She gave him a small smile. "Not really. Just thinking about how happy I am."

Paul grinned. "Good sex can do that for you. Glad I could help."

Leah rolled her eyes at him. "Is that all you think about? Really?"

"I told you that once . . . sex and food, and in that order."

"You're such a guy," she huffed.

"And aren't you glad?"

As she looked over at her husband and took in his rakish good looks, muscular body and boyish grin, she decided that she was very lucky indeed. "Oh, yes, I'm glad."

The rest of the drive went by quickly and soon Paul drove up to Sue's house and parked then shut off the engine. As Leah turned to get out of the truck, Paul stopped her by holding her arm. "Hey, I just want to say . . . thank you."

Leah snorted. "Really? You're thanking me? For what?"

"Just shut up a second, will ya?" Paul said with a smile. "Yes, I'm thanking you. For marrying me, for loving me, for being my best friend . . . for just being you. This last year has been such a hell for me, and I guess I'm having a hard time realizing that it's finally over . . . that you're here, and you're not going anywhere. I love you, Leah."

Gifting him with one of her beautiful smiles, Leah scooted over to put her arms around his neck. "I love you, too, Paul. And I am not going anywhere. You are my world now. You and the boys . . . and I couldn't be happier."

Paul squeezed her to him and buried his face in her neck and inhaled her scent. Finally he let her go and said, "Good. Let's go see Noah. I really miss him."

Leah nodded and kissed him softly on the lips then they climbed out of the truck and made their way to the house. Leah shouted out, "We're home!" as they walked in and then heard Tyler shout back, "In the kitchen."

Leah could smell fish frying as soon as she hit the kitchen. "Hey, looks like someone caught some fish."

Travis ran over and grabbed her around the waist. "We did!" She smiled as she hugged him back then he left her for Paul. Leah made her way over to Tyler who was holding Noah and feeding him a bottle. "Hey, Tyler. How's he doing?" she asked as she ran her hand lightly over her son's head.

"Well, we out ran the cops and just got home from our wild crime spree. We knocked over two liquor stores and a convenience store before they caught us. Noah here is a wild man."

Seth joined in and added, "Yeah, who knew the kid could hide a thirty-eight in his diaper? Pretty awesome."

Leah rolled her eyes and looked over at Paul as he laughed. "Sounds like someone else I know," she said as she remembered Paul making up a similar story back in Spokane when he watched Noah for the first time alone. Then she turned back to Tyler who was also laughing. "You all think you're so funny." She left him and walked over to her mom, who was frying fish at the stove. "Need some help?"

Sue smiled and nodded. "Sure. Start battering those fish for me." Leah dug in and helped and before long, they had all of the fish fried. Tyler had given Noah over to Paul, and he went to the fridge and pulled out a bowl of salad and some dressings and drinks for everyone while Seth got out the bread and butter. Then they all sat down and enjoyed a great dinner together while Travis told them all about his day of fishing.

After they were finished, Leah helped Sue clean up and the guys went into the living room. Tyler and Seth pulled out the X Box and played while Paul and Travis played a rousing game of Go Fish with Noah laying on a blanket nearby, playing with his rattle.

"So? I take it you had a good evening?" Sue asked with a sly smile as she washed up the frying pan.

Leah actually felt herself blush. "Yes, very good."

"I'm happy for you, you know. I wasn't so sure about Paul at first. He was always so angry and came off like such a jerk. But now I understand so much more about him, and . . . well, he' a good guy. A really good guy."

"Yes, he is."

Sue looked over at Leah as she just stood there drying the frying pan and staring out the window. "Honey? Is something wrong?"

Leah glanced over at Sue. "No." But Sue didn't look away as that wasn't the answer she was waiting for. "No, Mom. Nothing's wrong."

"And that's what's bugging you, isn't it?"

Leah sighed and put the frying pan away. How did her mother know her so well? It really annoyed her. She turned and sighed, "Yeah, I guess. It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Sue put her hands on her hips, which Leah recognized as her "lecture" stance. "Why do you do that to yourself? Why can't you just accept that you _can_ be happy? You _deserve_ to be happy. I know I haven't been very supportive of your decisions over the past year, but I am proud of the way you handled yourself and how things have turned out. You are a strong woman, Leah, and it's a good thing now that you have all these boys to contend with on a daily basis!" Leah nodded and laughed softly in agreement.

Sue reached out and rested her hand on Leah's arm. "Honey, you have a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby, and Paul's little brothers who adore you both. Life can be good, Leah. You just have to let it be good and enjoy it."

Leah smiled as her mom put her arms around her and drew her in for a hug. "Thanks, Mom. I needed that."

"You're welcome." Sue let her go then added, "Now go out there and collect your little family and go home. I love them to pieces, but I'm tired."

Leah laughed at that. "OK. Thank you so much for all you've done for us this weekend. You're the best." Leah planted a quick kiss on her mom's cheek then Sue winked at her and turned back to wipe down the counters as Leah walked out of the kitchen and announced it was time to go home.

The boys went to get their bags and Seth said he would get Noah's things for her. Once they had everything, they loaded up the truck and headed home. 

"Come on, guys! Get a move on! You don't want to be late for school," Leah called out the next morning. This would be their first day back to school after their Christmas break. Noah had been fed and was cooing at her from his car seat on the counter. She smiled at him and tickled his belly as she put breakfast on the table.

Travis came running out and climbed up to the table. "Cocoa Puffs or Lucky Charms?" Leah asked.

"Cocoa Puffs," he answered as he took a drink of his apple juice. She poured some in a bowl and pushed them over to him.

Tyler finally made his way out to the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of cereal. "Who's taking us to school today?"

"Seth. Paul had to leave early for work today," Leah told him as she finished making sandwiches for their lunches. "Apple or banana?" They both called out banana, so Leah added one to each of their bags and closed the top.

After they finished breakfast, they went to brush their teeth and gather up their things for school. Travis dragged his book bag across the floor and dropped it in front of the door. "Leah? I can't find my other shoe."

Leah smiled as she turned to see Travis standing there with one shoe on. "You can't find your other shoe? Well, you took them off together last night, didn't you? How could you lose just one?" Travis shrugged and just stood there. "Alright. Where did you take them off?"

"In the living room."

"And what were you doing when you took them off?"

"Playing with my Legos . . . oh!" The light bulb went off and Travis ran for his box of Legos. "Found it!" he called back just as Seth pulled up and honked the horn.

"Tyler! Seth is here! Let's go!" Leah called. Both boys came running and Leah bent to tie Travis' shoe as he shoved himself into his coat. Tyler already had his on and handed Travis his book bag then opened the door. "Oh wait! Your lunches," Leah said as she dashed into the kitchen to grab the lunch bags. "Here you go. Have a good day, guys. Seth is going to bring you home, too, OK?"

They both nodded as they flew out the door to the car. Leah smiled and waved at Seth who waved back then took off down the road. Leah closed the door and leaned against it for a moment, then she smiled and went back to the kitchen to pick up Noah. "Ready for a bath, little guy?" He smiled at her and she kissed him. _Who would have thought Leah Clearwater Jacobs would be so domestic? No one, _she thought_, _including herself. But she had to admit she kind of enjoyed it. 

Later that afternoon while Noah was napping, the phone rang. "Hello?" Leah answered. Nothing. "Hello?" she said again. She could tell someone was there, but they said nothing and then hung up. She shrugged and hung up and sat the phone back onto the counter. "Wrong number, I guess."

She was contemplating what to make for dinner tonight as she stood in front of the open refrigerator when the phone rang again. She closed the door and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Uh, yeah, I was looking for Paul. Is he there?" It was a very deep male voice, but not one she recognized.

"He's not available right now. Can I take a message?"

"No. I'll call back." Then he hung up.

Leah looked curiously at the phone and wondered what the hell was going on. She glanced at the clock. It was almost two-thirty. She hated to bother Paul while he was working, but she decided this was worth a phone call.

Paul felt his phone vibrate and looked at the caller ID. "Hey, babe. What's up?"

"Well, probably nothing," she started then she told him what had just happened. "Would there be anyone calling for you during the day when you're at work?"

"Not that I know of. He asked for me by name?"

"Yes, just your first name, and I'm sure it wasn't your dad's voice."

"Hmm. OK. Well, maybe you should call Sam and let him know."

"Sam? Why?"

"Look, Leah, I'm like thirty minutes away and I'd just like to know that someone else there knows what's going on. Let the Almighty Alpha think he has a purpose."

That made Leah laugh. "OK, you got me on that one. I'll call him and make him feel important."

"Good. I'll see you later, OK?"

"OK. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Leah hung up and then dialed Sam. Emily answered and told her that Sam was on patrol with Embry and Quil until the boys got out of school.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Well, I had some weird phone calls today and I'm sure it's nothing, but Paul wanted me to call Sam and let him know."

"Well, I'll tell him as soon as he comes in and have him call you. So, how's married life?"

Leah and Emily chatted for a while then Noah woke up from his nap crying. Leah hung up and went to pick him up and change him then she sat down in the living room to feed him. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost time for the boys to come home. "Then you'll have someone to play with, won't you, sweet boy?" she said to Noah. 

Seth shoved his books into his locker and slammed the door. "Hey, Seth." He glanced over his shoulder to see Collin's little sister, Cristy, standing there. She was a freshman, but he really never saw her much at school. He was a junior after all, and he didn't really spend much time with freshmen. "Oh, hey, Cristy," he replied as he turned to walk to the front door.

"So, um, are you going to the dance this Friday night?" Cristy asked.

Seth stopped and looked at her. _Really? She was asking him to the dance? Where is this coming from? _He was well aware of how Tyler felt about her and there was no way he was going to get in the middle of that shit.

"Um, no. I don't do school dances," Seth told her as he again started walking toward the door.

"Oh," Cristy said disappointedly. "I thought maybe you were and then maybe you could bring Tyler with you."

He smiled at that. _OK, now he was interested._ He stopped again to look at her. "So, you want to know if I'll get Tyler to go to the dance for you?"

She broke out into a smile. "Yes! See, my friends don't like that he's only in 8th grade, and so I was stupid and didn't talk to him around them, but I really like him and I want to ask him, but, lately he's been ignoring me, and I don't know if he's mad at me or what for not talking to him around my friends, and I know he can't drive, and Collin is being an ass and I can't ask him . . . "

Seth put his hand up to stop her from talking, if that was possible. "OK, OK. I'll see what I can do."

"Oh, thank you, Seth! You're the best," she gushed before she turned and ran back to her gaggle of friends. Shaking his head, Seth smiled as he realized he couldn't wait to tell Tyler about this.

Seth shoved open the outside door and squinted against the rare winter sunshine as he made his way toward the Elementary School to pick up Travis. Tyler usually met them there after he got out of school.

Carly was standing out front waiting for her mom to pick her up, but there was no Travis. Travis always stood with Carly while he waited for Seth. "Hey, Carly. Where's Travis?"

"He's gone already."

Seth's eyebrows furrowed as he asked, "Gone? What do you mean, 'gone?' "

Carly looked up at him and said innocently, "His mommy picked him up."

Seth wondered if she meant Leah. Some of the kids just assumed that Leah was his mommy. Just then Tyler jogged up. "Hey," he said. "Where's Trav?"

Seth told him what Carly said then he saw the color drain from Tyler's face. Tyler quickly squatted down in front of Carly and asked, "Do you mean Leah?"

Carly shook her head. "No. Travis said it was his mommy. He looked kind of scared."

Tyler stood up and turned away. "Damnit!" _Leave it to his bitch of a mother to pull something like this._ "Seth, do you have a cell phone?"

Seth nodded and pulled the phone from his pocket to hand to Tyler then he bent down to Carly and asked, "Was she alone?"

"No, there was a man in the car waiting, and he drove them away real fast."

"Do you remember what color the car was?"

Carly started to realize that Seth and Tyler were upset, and she got scared. Seth smiled softly and told her, "I'm not mad at you, Carly. I just really need to know everything you can remember, OK? It's really important."

Carly nodded and then told him it was a light blue car, and it was old and rusty. "Thank you, Carly. You're a good friend to Travis."

Just then, Carly's mom drove up. When she saw Seth talking to Carly, she got out of the car. "Carly? Are you OK?"

Seth stood up and quickly filled her in on what happened with Travis. "There's a restraining order in place. She's not supposed to be within 100 feet of Travis," he said quietly.

"Oh, no. Do you need help?"

"No, Tyler is calling Paul right now and then we'll call Chief Swan. But thanks." Carly went with her mom and they drove off just as Seth heard Tyler say, "Paul, it's Travis. That _bitch_ has him. Our mom took Travis!"


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

GET BACK

Paul was numb as he pushed the truck to 90 mph. He had been so afraid this might happen, but he should have taken more precautions. He should have told Travis to wait in his classroom. He should have told the school about the restraining order. He should have . . . he had a million 'should haves,' but it still didn't change the fact that she had Travis.

Paul had Ty put Seth on the phone and he told him to get somewhere and phase immediately and let Sam know. He knew Sam always patrolled until the others got out of school and he needed the pack to scout the rez right away in case she was still around. And he hoped to God she was. If she got too far away, they might never find her . . . or Travis.

After hanging up with Seth, he flipped open the cell phone to call Leah. He hated making this call the most.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Leah . . . it's Trav. That _bitch_ . . . " he had to take a deep breath and try hard to control his anger. "Doreen showed up at school and took him."

Her heart stopped for a second. "Oh my God. No!"

"Seth and Tyler found out from Carly, and got a description of the car. Seth called Charlie Swan and then was going to phase to let Sam know. I have no idea if they are going to head to the house or not, so I want you and Noah to get the hell out of there. She has some guy with her, probably the one that called the house earlier. I know the type of guys she hangs out with, so I'm sure he'll be dangerous. You need to clear out and go to your mom's or Sam's."

Leah was speechless. Anger and fear ripped at her heart. _What if they never found him? What if she never saw Travis again? _She was holding Noah, and she realized she was squeezing him too tightly as he began to whimper.

"Leah? Did you hear me?" Paul shouted.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Where are you now?"

"I'm doing 90 and should get to LaPush in about 10 minutes."

"I'll wait for you here."

"Leah . . . "

"I said I'll wait for you here," Leah repeated more forcefully then she pushed off on the phone and threw it down. This bitch would not get away with this. She had no idea who she was dealing with.

Paul threw the phone down on the seat. "Damnit!" _Why did Leah have to be so fucking stubborn? _He pushed his foot to the floor and hoped to hell that all the cops in the area were out looking for his brother instead of speeders. 

"Is Paul going to be OK?" Travis asked anxiously from the backseat. He had been shocked to see his mom get out of the old blue car at school while he was waiting for Seth and Tyler. She had rushed up to him and grabbed him into a hug then told him that Paul had been hurt and was on his way to the hospital. When he asked about Tyler, she told him that he was already on his way there with someone else. When Travis asked if it was Seth, she replied, "Yes, that was his name."

Now he was in this car with his mom, worried about Paul and waiting for an answer to his question. "I'm sure he will be OK, baby" Doreen said over her shoulder.

Travis looked over at the man driving. He was big and had dark hair and a scar on his cheek. He had a real deep voice when he talked and he didn't smile at all. This man made Travis think of the men that used to come to the door when he lived with his mom and they always wanted money. He remembered one time when a man hit her and she fell to the ground. Travis looked back at the man and decided he didn't like him . . . not at all.

"This isn't the way Paul goes to Forks," Travis said softly.

"Shortcut," the man driving grunted.

Travis looked out the window and tried to see where they were. He was starting to get really scared.

Doreen turned around to look at Travis. "Travy, honey, it's OK. Aren't you glad to see me? I really missed you. And you're so big!" She put on a big smile for him.

Travis didn't know what to think, how to feel. He was so confused. It had been almost two years since he'd seen her, and now here she was, smiling at him like nothing ever happened.

"Why didn't Seth and Tyler wait for me? Why did you pick me up?" he asked.

"Well, since Paul was hurt, they thought maybe you would feel better being with your mommy."

Travis narrowed his eyes as he looked at his mom. He knew that Paul would never send her to pick him up, and Tyler would never leave him alone with her. Paul hated their mom. So did Tyler.

"We'll be there soon. Just relax and enjoy the ride," Doreen said as she turned back around. Then she pointed up ahead and said quickly to the man driving, "Turn here, Johnny."

Johnny turned onto a dirt road and slowed down. "You gonna make the call?" he asked Doreen.

"Yes. Stop here."

Johnny pulled the car to the side of the road and stopped. Doreen turned to Travis and said sweetly, "I'm going to call the hospital and check on your brother, OK? You stay here, and I'll be right back."

She opened the car door and slipped out then shut it as she opened her cell phone. Travis was getting more and more scared as he glanced up at the man again. He felt like crying, but he knew that Paul would want him to be brave, so he held it in as hard as he could. He knew something wasn't right, but right now, he had no idea what to do about it. 

Paul skidded to a stop on the gravel drive and threw the truck into park as he opened the door to jump out. He ran to the front door and opened it. "Leah!" he shouted.

"I'm here!" She walked out to the door holding Noah.

"Get your ass in the truck. I'm taking you to Sam's. This is no time to argue." She could see by the look in his eyes he meant business.

"I have Noah's bag packed," she said as she nodded to the chair. He leaned over to pick it up and then turned to usher Leah out the door when the phone rang. He was going to ignore it, but then thought it might be news about Travis.

He grabbed the phone and barked out, "Hello!"

"Pauly? You're there, how nice. Home early from work?" He closed his eyes and tried hard to rein in his anger so he wouldn't phase right here in the house.

"Where is he?" he demanded through clenched teeth.

"Who? Oh, Travis? He's right here with his mommy. He missed me so."

"You bitch! I want him back, and I want him now. You know we have a restraining order against you. You're not to go within 100 feet of either of them, or we can haul your ass to jail. Right now, I'm pretty sure you're in violation of that."

"Are you fucking serious? How dare you! They are my kids!"

"Yeah, well you should have treated them better when you had the chance."

"Look Pauly, you better change your tone if you ever want to see your little brother again."

Paul again sucked in air and tried to stay calm. His hand was shaking so much it was hard to hold the phone to his ear. "You want money," he stated angrily. He was sure of it. That and drugs were all she cared about.

"Why? You offering?"

"Damnit, stop playing games here. Just tell me when and where."

"Well, I know you been holding out on me. Mama had to have some life insurance. She was just that kind of person. She doted on you and spoiled you rotten. So, how much you got?"

Paul had to think quick. He would give her anything he had to get Travis back, but he had his family to think about. He had to be smart here. "Look, I have some money in the bank that I've been saving to add a room on to the house. It's a couple thousand. I'll go to the bank right now and get it for you."

"A couple of thousand? Are you fucking with me, Pauly? You really think I'm going to believe that's all she left you? Try again."

Paul shook his head and smacked the phone on the counter. He took another deep breath and put the phone to his ear. "OK. I was saving it for Ty to go to college, but . . . it's yours. Ten thousand. But it's a one-time deal because that is all we have."

"Fine, ten grand. I want it in an hour."

"Fine. I'll leave for the bank right now. Where do you want to meet?"

"At the house in an hour. And Pauly . . . no tricks. No cops, or we'll take off and Travis will stay with me."

"No cops. Just be here in an hour, or I swear to God I will hunt you down and kill you." The line went dead and Paul pushed the off button. "Damnit! That fucking whore bitch! I want to kill her and just be done with this shit!" Then he turned and flung the phone into the wall, shattering it into a million pieces.

It startled Noah and he began to cry. Leah pulled him up onto her shoulder and tried to comfort him. As soon as Paul heard him, he ran his hands through his hair and over his face and tried to calm himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Paul said softly as he drew Leah and Noah close. "I'm so sorry, little man." He kissed Noah's head and rested his forehead on Leah's. "I have to go to the bank, but I am not leaving the two of you here. You're going to Sam's. Let's go." 

Leah nodded and picked up Noah's bag as Paul picked up the car seat and walked her to the truck. Once Leah and Noah were ready, he pulled out onto the road for the short drive to Sam's.

"So? He go for it?" Johnny asked Doreen as she stepped back into the car.

"Yep. He's on the way to the bank to get us ten grand. I told him we would be there in one hour."

"Yeah, but we're still going with the plan, right?"

Doreen looked nervously at Johnny. "I don't know, ten grand is pretty good money . . . "

Johnny reached over and grabbed her arm and squeezed. "I didn't sign on to split ten grand, Doreen. You promised me half of 100 grand, and that is what I want."

Doreen pulled her arm away then flipped down the visor to fuss with her hair and take a little time to think. She was starting to get cold feet about the original plan. She was more than happy to drive away with ten thousand dollars in cash. Glancing in the mirror at Travis, she could see he was pretty scared. He had to know something was up by now. She smiled at him then flipped the visor back up.

"Don't worry, Johnny. It will all work out," she said with a smile and a wink. Then she looked out the window over the field and hoped she could pull this off. 

Paul dropped Leah and Noah at Sam's and then threw gravel as he tore out of the drive toward town. Leah set Noah's car seat on the table and looked at Tyler. Seth had brought him here and then run out to join the pack. "Come here, Ty." Leah folded him into a hug and held onto him. She could see tears in his eyes, as she tried to hold in her own. "Paul will get him back. You know he would do anything for you guys."

Tyler nodded and drew away then walked to the window to stare out into the woods.

Emily walked over to Leah and hugged her. "Sam and the guys are out there. If she is anywhere on the rez, you know they'll find her."

"I know, Em. Thanks." Emily took Noah out of the car seat and told Leah she would watch him for awhile. Leah made her way to the window to stand beside Tyler. She was amazed at how much he looked like Paul right now. Even his stance and how he had his arms folded over his chest . . . you could definitely tell they were brothers.

Without turning, he said angrily, "I should have been there with him. I should have told him to wait inside. I shouldn't have waited around to see if I could catch Cristy, and . . . _damnit!_"

Leah put her arm around Tyler's shoulders. "We all have those, Ty. It doesn't do any good to beat ourselves up now. We have to trust Paul and Sam and all the pack. Charlie, too. They are all out there looking for him."

He shrugged off her arm and turned to shout, "I should be out there! I hate being confined here like a baby in a play pen. He's my brother, too!"

"I hear ya. Paul practically pulled me out of the house by my hair and made me come here. You know, I've killed va . . . I was a wolf. I AM a wolf. I should be out there, too."

Tyler gave her a curious look. "You killed . . . what?"

Leah sighed and gave him a small smile. "I can't say, but just know that as wolves, we can be deadly." Saying that made Leah wonder if she could even still phase. She hadn't in so long, that she just assumed she had given up her wolf. _But what if she could?_ _She could help . . . _

"I'll be back. I need to use the bathroom," she said to Tyler. He nodded and went back to looking out the window. She walked past Emily, who was rocking Noah, and headed toward the bathroom down the hall. When she was out of sight, she walked to the back door and opened it then slipped quietly outside.

Quickly slipping out of her shoes, she pulled off her jeans and shirt and dropped them onto the porch. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one was looking then added her bra and underwear to the pile. "OK, here goes," she whispered to herself.

Leah jumped off the porch and tried hard to focus on her anger at Doreen. As she ran toward the woods, she could feel her bones trying to rearrange and that old familiar tingle ran through her body. She kept pushing herself as she ran, feeling the pain of phasing after stopping for so long. Her blood rushed, her heart rate was through the roof, and then finally, she popped out into her wolf body. _"Yes! I did it!"_

_"Leah? Is that really you?" _Sam asked.

_"Yes! Paul heard from Doreen. She called and wanted money. He's off to town to the bank and then he's supposed to meet her back at our house in an hour, which would be about 4:30. Have you guys found anything yet?"_

_"We started at the school, but since they got into a car, there was really no trail to follow. But I have everyone fanned out from there, trying to pick up anything they can."_

_"I'm going to the house to keep watch there."_

_"I'll send Seth to you."_

_"Got it!" _Seth acknowledged. _"On my way."_

Leah was almost home when she pulled up and hid behind a tree. There was a strange man skulking around behind her house and she wanted to see what he was up to. He had a can of some sort in his hands and it looked like he was sprinkling something around . . . she caught a whiff of gasoline. _"Oh my God! He's going to burn our house down!"_

_"What? Leah wait! Wait for backup!" _Sam commanded.

_"Damnit, Sam!" _Leah couldn't break the Alpha command and she was frozen in place, waiting for Seth. As she sat there, she watched the man walk all around the house shaking the can. _Why would they burn the house? Doreen wanted to get her hands on it. Or did she? Was she that vindictive to just burn it out from under them because she couldn't have it?_

_"Two minutes, sis . . . " _Seth informed her.

_"We may not have two minutes. He's almost all the way around the house! Sam, please!" _Just then, Leah tensed as she heard movement. It wasn't heavy enough to be Seth. She looked around and spied Tyler, running along the path that went between Sam's and their house. _"Damnit! Tyler is heading toward the house! I have to stop him!"_

She tried to move, but Sam's order kept her still. She let out a yip to try and get his attention, but he was running and paying no attention to anything. _"Sam, for God's sake let up! I have to stop Tyler!"_

_"Go, but be careful," _he responded.

_"Almost there!" _Seth reported.

Leah took off toward Tyler as fast as she could run, but she was too late. He opened the front door and went inside. _"Oh my God! He went into the house!" _She looked quickly to see where the man was. She caught his scent and followed it around the house and stopped when she saw him in the back yard. He had set the can down, and was now reaching into his pocket. Leah struggled whether to launch herself at him, or to get Tyler out of the house. She finally decided that she held the element of surprise as she was behind the man, so she set herself up on her haunches to spring into action, just as she saw him flick a lighted match at the house.

_"Nooooooo!" _Flames shot up beside the back door and quickly spread on the ground as it followed the trail of gasoline. The man watched to make sure it caught fire then he laughed and said, "One hundred grand. Well, worth it."

Leah had no idea what that meant, but she knew she needed to stop him while she could. She leapt at him and tackled him from behind knocking him to the ground. "What the fuck!" he cried out.

He started to struggle so Leah bit down on his neck and held him there with a snarl. There was no way he was going anywhere with Leah sitting on his back and her teeth in his neck. _"We are coming, Leah! Hold on!" _she heard from Sam.

_"Please hurry!"_

Just then, Seth came charging into the yard. "_Tyler is in the house!" _Leah sent to Seth as she held the man down. Seth turned quickly to the house and without hesitation, jumped through the flames, shattering the back door with his huge wolf body.

_"Seth? Please find him!"_

Leah concentrated on Seth and watched in his mind as he went through the house. He found Tyler unconscious, lying on the bathroom floor. The window was open and the smoke was pouring in. Seth grabbed a hold of his pant leg and dragged him out of the bathroom then he stood back and willed himself to phase back. Leaning over, Seth quickly scooped up Tyler, throwing him over his shoulder and ran for the front door.

Flames leapt in front of the door, so he ran to the kitchen and saw the same at the back door. He didn't want Tyler burned, so he set him down and grabbed a blanket that was lying on the chair in the living room and took it to the kitchen to run some water over it. He threw it over Tyler and rolled him up in it and lifted him back up to his shoulder. "I'm coming out!" he shouted to Leah then he ran back out the back door through the flames.

Sam finally showed up and went right to Leah and relieved her of her guard duty so Leah could run toward Seth and Tyler. Seth had rolled Tyler to put out the small flames that had caught onto the blanket, and then he rolled him out of the blanket and reached for his shorts.

Leah did not hesitate. She phased back and Seth threw the blanket at her. "Thanks," she grunted as she wrapped it around her. "Is he breathing?" she asked.

Seth put his face to Tyler's and shook his head. Leah barked out instructions to Seth and they used CPR to bring him back. Once Tyler started coughing, Leah propped him up. "Oh thank God," she sighed. Then she looked at Seth. "Are you burned?"

Seth looked over his body and noticed some welts, but they were already healing. "I'm fine. Just take care of Tyler."

Then they heard Paul calling out and Leah hollered, "Out back!"

He came running around the house and flew to her side. "Oh my God, Leah. I saw the smoke from the road. What the hell happened?"

She nodded toward the man that Sam was sitting on. "Ask him. He's the one that set our house on fire. Give me your phone."

Paul threw the phone at her and moved over to where Sam was while Leah called 911 to get the fire department here.

Paul nodded to Sam to let the man up. "Who the fuck are you and why the hell would you want to burn my house down?"

The man stood up and gave a wary look at Sam, along with Jared, Quil and Embry, who had arrived and were still in wolf form. "I, uh, I . . . " he stuttered. "What the hell? What are these?"

"Wolves, and they're hungry so start talking," Paul demanded. "Where's Doreen? And Travis?"

The man's eyes were huge as they wolves inched closer and growled at him. "I, uh . . . I don't know any . . . "

Paul picked him up by the throat and repeated very slowly, "Where are Doreen and Travis?"

The man's eyes bugged out as he struggled for air. Finally Paul set him back on his feet and he spit out, "They're in the car, about a half mile down that dirt road," he sputtered as he coughed.

Paul nodded to Sam then Jared, Quil and Embry took off in the direction the man indicated. "If they don't find them, you're his next meal," Paul nodded toward Sam, who bared his teeth and added a snarl for good measure. The man dropped to his knees and actually started to cry. _Fucking coward._

Tyler was awake now and through his coughing he asked, "Is Travis here?"

Leah shook her head. "Not yet. Tyler, why did you come here?"

"I wanted to be here," he stopped as a cough racked his body, "when she brought him back. I wanted," he coughed again, "to tell her how much I hate her."

Leah pulled him close for a moment and put a kiss on the top of his head. Then she made him lie back on the ground. "Just rest, honey," she told him.

Paul walked back over and told Leah what the guy had said. "I need to go. I need to find them. Is Ty OK?"

"Yes, go. The fire department is on the way, and Seth just called Charlie. Go, find them!"

Paul nodded and took off toward the woods. He didn't want to take the time to strip and phase if it was less than a mile away. He could run almost as fast human as he could wolf, and besides, he didn't want to stand naked in front of Doreen when he confronted her. The wolves were ahead of him and he heard Jared howl. _He found them! _

Paul pushed himself harder and soon caught up with Jared, Embry and Quil. They were standing at attention at the edge of the woods, staring toward the road. Paul looked out and saw the blue car, and Doreen pacing beside it. He didn't see Travis, but he suspected he was inside the car. "I'm going guys. Stay here, but back me up." Jared nodded then bumped his head into Paul's side to show his support.

Paul walked with determination toward the car. He knew he had to hold his anger in check if he wanted to get his brother back. When he was close, Doreen whipped around and spit out, "How did you find me?"

"Your partner in crime sang like a bird when I closed my hand around his throat," Paul told her as he stalked her around the car. "Where's Travis?" he asked as he stopped in front of her.

"He told me he was tired . . . he's taking a . . . a . . . nap in the back seat." Doreen was scared. She had seen that look on Paul's face before, and she didn't know exactly why, but she knew enough to be scared of him.

Suddenly, Paul's hand shot out and grabbed her throat. "I could do it, you know. Put my hands around your throat and just squeeze . . . " his other hand joined the first and he squeezed slightly to show her. "There's no witnesses . . . I could get rid of your body and do my family a huge favor by getting rid of you right now."

Paul could see the fear in her eyes as she gasped for air and he smiled an evil smile. Doreen struggled then Paul heard from behind him, "Paul! Stop! Paul!" He turned to see Jared, in human form, running toward him.

"It's not worth you going to jail, bro. Your family needs you. Let the cops have her," Jared said as he trotted up to Paul.

Paul looked her in the eye then realizing that Jared was right, he sighed and let her go. She stumbled over to lean against the car as she tried to breathe.

Paul took several deep breaths to stop shaking. He knew Jared was right, but he was so angry and filled with hatred for this woman. He turned back to her and smiled. "Well, I guess it's your lucky day, _Mother._ You get to face the cops instead of me."

She glanced over at him and shook her head as she held her throat. "No, Pauly," she croaked. "Please, I'm sorry."

Paul grabbed her arm and pulled her off the car. "It's way too late for that shit. Don't even try it." He turned to Jared. "Check on Travis, will you? He's sleeping on the back seat."

Jared opened the car door and then Paul heard, "Uh, Paul? He's not here."

Paul dragged his mother with him to look into the back seat. It was empty, except for Travis' book bag. He whipped around to face Doreen. "You lied to me, you bitch! Where is he?" he shouted as he shook her. "Where the hell is my brother?"

"I didn't lie!" she screamed. "He was there, I swear it! He told me he was tired and he was going to lay down!"

Jared walked around to the other side of the car and noticed that the car door was closed, but unlatched. "He must have snuck out when she wasn't looking. The door is open," he called back to Paul.

Paul hung his head and let out a breath. _Dear God, where is he?_

Jared looked at Paul and said, "I'm on it. You get her in the car and take her back to your place. I'll find him, bro. I promise."

Paul nodded and Jared shot off toward the woods to phase. Just then, Doreen stomped her high heel down onto Paul's foot and it stunned him enough to let up his hold on her arm. She took off running down the road, kicking off her heels as she went.

Paul looked up just in time to see Embry and Quil rush out of the woods to stand right in her path. Doreen screamed long and loud as the two mammoth sized wolves snarled at her then she crumpled to the ground in a dead faint. Paul jogged up to her and said, "Well, that was a little dramatic, don't you think?"

Embry and Quil each gave him a wolfy grin and then Paul bent down to haul her up into his arms. "Thanks, guys. I owe you."

Embry nodded and then Paul turned to head back to the car. He leaned against the car to balance Doreen's body then he opened the back door and shoved her inside to lay on the back seat. Slamming the car door, he climbed into the driver's seat and wondered, _When will this end?_ He hoped to hell this would end today. Cranking the engine, Paul spun the tires as he took off toward home.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

NOT A SECOND TIME

Jared phased and as soon as Paul drove off with his nut job of a mother in the car, he made his way back to the road to pick up Travis' scent. Since the trail was fresh, he picked it up immediately. He followed it off the road, into the woods. Travis was a smart boy . . . he was heading for home.

It didn't take long before Jared caught a flash of blue up ahead, and realized it was Travis. Quickly phasing back into human form so Travis wouldn't be scared, he slipped on his shorts then called out, "Travis! Wait up, buddy!"

Travis stopped and turned toward Jared. He could see the relief on the little boy's face as he trotted up to him. "Jared!" Travis shouted as Jared scooped him up and said, "Man, am I happy to see you, little guy."

Travis gripped Jared's neck tightly as he cried into his shoulder. "Hey, it's OK, Trav. I'm going to take you home now. It's OK," Jared said softly to try and calm him.

Finally Travis nodded and Jared put him down. "Is Paul OK?" he asked Jared.

"Yeah, sure. He's been out looking for you."

"_She_ . . . told me he was hurt and at the hospital. She told me she was supposed to take me to him. I was stupid, wasn't I, Jared?"

"No, buddy, you weren't stupid. She's your mom. Kids are supposed to be able to believe their moms. She's the one that was stupid to lie to you."

Travis nodded and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I want to go home now."

Jared smiled and squatted down. "Hop on. I'll take you piggy back." Travis nodded and climbed onto Jared's back. "Now, hang on, cause I can run fast." Travis locked his arms around Jared's neck and Jared started running for Paul's. 

The fire department had shown up in less than ten minutes, and they now had the fire mostly out. Luckily, it hadn't spread to the whole house, but there was a lot of smoke and water damage. The fire chief told Leah they wouldn't be allowed back in until tomorrow. Leah knew there was an insurance policy inside the metal box in Paul's closet. She would have to find that first thing in the morning and call them.

Leah had filled in the first-responder on Tyler's condition and he now had an oxygen mask on his face to help clear his lungs. Seth had thankfully run back to Sam's house and retrieved her clothes for her, so she was now fully dressed and sitting with Tyler.

Charlie Swan had shown up about the same time as the fire department along with his deputy and a state policeman. Sam had phased and stood guard over the guy that set the fire, and he handed him over to Charlie as soon as he arrived. They got out of him that Doreen had somehow come up with a fake will showing that she now owned the house, then she took out an insurance policy on it in Seattle worth $100,000. She contacted Johnny and offered him half of the money if he would help her burn it down. Apparently, calling Paul and asking for money was just a ruse to get him away from the house. How she expected to collect money from the insurance company when it was so obviously arson, Leah couldn't understand. But then, Doreen had never proved herself to be very smart. Leah shook her head when Sam filled her in. _How could a mother do this to her own children? _

Finally Paul arrived with Doreen, and he filled Charlie in quickly on what happened. Then he rushed around to the back of the house and asked, "Did Jared find him yet?"

Leah looked up at him. "What? Travis? Wasn't he with her?"

Paul told her how Travis escaped and Jared took off to find him. Leah stood up and wrapped her arms around Paul. _When would this nightmare end? _

Paul held her for a moment then he looked down at Tyler. "Oh my God, Ty. Is he OK?" he asked as he stepped back from Leah to kneel down next to his brother.

"Yes, he'll be fine. He had some smoke inhalation, so the oxygen is just helping him breathe."

Tyler removed the mask to ask Paul, "Where is he?"

Paul slid the mask back down over Tyler's nose and mouth and answered, "Jared will find him. Don't worry. Your smart little brother escaped and I am pretty sure is on his way here." Paul could see he wanted to ask another question, and he thought he knew what it was. "Jared stopped me from killing her and convinced me that we should let the cops handle this. I brought her here and handed her over to them."

Tyler closed his eyes and nodded his understanding.

"Paul! I'm here! Paul!" Paul whipped around to see Jared jog into the yard with Travis on his back. Paul grinned as he stood up and moved quickly toward Jared.

Jared stopped and squatted down to let Travis off of his back, and Travis ran right at Paul, who caught him and hugged him tightly to his chest as Travis wrapped his arms around Paul's neck. "Oh my God, Travis. Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Travis popped his head up to look at Paul. "No, I'm OK. I'm really, really sorry. Don't be mad at me." Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"You're sorry? Buddy, you didn't do anything. I'm not mad at you."

"But I should have waited for Seth and Tyler. I shouldn't have gone with her. But she told me you were hurt and she was going to take me to the hospital to see you."

Paul closed his eyes and bit his lip. Then he looked at his little brother and said, "I'm sorry she lied to you, but that's not your fault, OK? Although, I think you learned a lesson here, and that is to always wait for someone you trust, like Seth or Tyler or me or Leah. Right?"

Travis nodded then asked sadly, "What happened to our house?"

"Um, there was a fire. It's out now, but we can't live there for awhile. At least not until it's fixed up."

Travis nodded and then saw Tyler on the ground with the oxygen mask. "Tyler? Is he . . . "

"He's fine, buddy. He's OK. He just breathed in some smoke, and that mask helps him breathe better. Come on, let's go see him. He's been pretty worried about you."

Paul carried Travis over to Tyler then he set him down. Travis dove to his knees next to Tyler. "Are you OK?"

Leah helped Tyler take the mask off and Tyler sat up and wrapped his arms around his little brother. "Yeah, I'm OK. Are you?"

"Yes. But I was really scared."

"Me, too." Tyler pushed him away to ask, "Was she mean to you? Did she hurt you?"

Travis shook his head. "No. But I was stupid to believe her. I shouldn't have gone with her. I'm really sorry." His little lip started to quiver and he couldn't hold back the tears. Leah put her arm around him and Travis buried his head into her shoulder.

"It's alright, honey. You're home now," she crooned to him to calm him. He flopped into her lap and she held him tight.

Seeing that the boys were taken care of, Paul made his way over to Jared and Sam. Embry and Quil had headed back to Sam's to let Emily know that everything was OK. Paul stopped in front of Jared and looked him in the eye. "Thanks, J, for having my back. I was . . . God, I was so close to . . . "

Jared put his hand on Paul's shoulder. "I know. And she deserved it, but you didn't."

Paul just nodded then he allowed Jared to pull him in for a bro hug. "And, uh, thanks, too, for finding Travis and bringing him home."

Jared grinned. "No problem. Man, I love being the hero. Feels good."

Paul rolled his eyes and had to laugh. "Yeah, well, I guess it was your turn." Then he turned to Sam. "Thanks, man, for being here."

"Hey, dude, you don't have to thank us. We're family. I know that you would do the same in a heartbeat. Go be with your family. Gather them up and bring them to my house. You're all staying with us."

Paul smiled and nodded. "Yeah, OK, I'll have to check with the boss on that one."

"Ooh, guess we know who wears the pants in that family, huh?" Jared teased as he elbowed Sam.

Paul looked at Jared and smiled. "And they cover a gorgeous ass, so yeah, I don't mind."

"Oooooo, Kayyyy," Sam said. "Let's get going, shall we?" They all shared a final laugh then walked over to Leah and the boys. Seth was still there, too, keeping a watch over Tyler, and Travis was now sitting on his lap.

"Hey, babe," Paul said as he tapped Leah's shoulder. She looked around and stood up to see what he wanted. "Sam is insisting that we all head over to his house. Is Tyler OK to go?"

"Yes. His respiration is back to where it should be, and I think he'll be fine. He's had a bottle of water and kept it down." Then Leah turned to Sam and her anger at him quickly ignited. She stalked toward him and shoved him hard with both hands on his chest. "You arrogant son of a bitch! If you wouldn't have Alpha-ordered my ass to stay still until Seth got here, I could have stopped that fucking asshole from burning our house! Do you get that? I know I haven't phased in a long time, but you should have trusted me!"

Paul took Leah by the shoulders and whispered, "Now is not the time, babe." He knew this was a conversation that shouldn't be overheard by the boys.

Leah shrugged him off and grabbed Sam's arm dragging him away from everyone else to continue her tirade. She lowered her voice and went on, "You will NEVER accept me as a full member of this pack. Why? I made one stupid fucking mistake, and you will never let me forget it, will you?"

"Leah, it's not that. I do trust you, it's . . . "

"What, Sam? What?" She held his eyes with her icy glare.

"I still care about you, OK? I didn't want to see you get hurt! And I know it's wrong, but it clouds my judgment when it comes to you." Sam hung his head, hating that he had admitted that to her.

Leah closed her eyes and sighed, "Damnit, Sam." as she turned away from him and rubbed her forehead in frustration. They had been over for a long time now. She had moved on, why couldn't he? "Look, I guess the answer is to not phase and just be the pack medic. It was stupid of me to throw you off by phasing and running here."

Sam stepped up behind her. "No it wasn't, Leah. Thank God, you did. You kept this guy from getting away and you were here for Tyler. I'm sorry. You were right. I should never have ordered you to wait."

Leah turned to face him and gave him a small smile. "OK, truce. You know Paul keeps telling me, 'we can't change what happened in the past. We just have to move forward.' So, I guess your payback is having to put up with the five of us under your roof for the next couple of months. Noah screaming in the middle of the night, the boys fighting, Paul eating you out of house and home . . ."

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, that will be payback alright. But I deserve it, so I think we'll manage."

Leah rolled her eyes then nodded toward the others. "Let's go."

Leah walked over to Paul and apologized. "Hey, it's OK. He probably deserved whatever you were screaming at him about. Fill me in later, alright?"

Leah nodded and bent to help Tyler to his feet. Travis climbed off of Seth's lap to take Tyler's hand.

Paul stood there and gazed at his little family. This day had turned into a nightmare . . . one he never wanted to repeat. Looking up at his house, his grandmother's house . . . he felt the fury build again. His grandmother had loved this house so much. His grandpa had built if just for her. Paul shook his head and hoped that his mother would rot in jail for what she had done and they would never hear from her again. Because next time, if there was a next time, he would not hesitate to kill her. 

It was a tight squeeze, but they managed to all settle into Sam and Emily's house. As word got round, things started pouring in for Paul and his family. Clothes, coats, pajamas, tons of food, a crib for the baby, diapers and baby clothes . . . the pack stuck together and took care of their own, and right now, Paul and Leah were very grateful.

As soon as Sue heard, she made a beeline to Sam and Emily's and hugged each and every one of them, Travis a little longer than the rest. He even sat on her lap and told her all about his escape.

"Oh, honey, you were so brave!" Sue told him with a squeeze. "I am so proud of you." Leah smiled and felt her heart swell even more for her mom. She and Seth were so lucky to have her as a mother. She felt very strongly about that now, seeing what hell Paul's mother had put them through. Sue was a grizzly . . . she took care of her cubs. Those that were hers, and those that she adopted. Leah hoped with all her heart that she would be as good a mother as Sue Clearwater.

Noah loved all of the attention he was getting from Emily and Sue and it allowed Leah to get some rest. She was emotionally and physically exhausted from the day's events. She had excused herself from everyone and entered the bedroom she and Paul would be using to lay down for awhile. She wasn't alone long as Paul found her there and laid down beside her to pull her into his arms.

Paul noticed she still smelled like smoke as he buried his face into her hair. As he lay there, all of the emotions he had been holding in came pouring out and he couldn't stop himself from crying. Tears poured down his face as he struggled to hold in the sobs. Leah sat up and looked at him and then pulled him into her arms. "It's OK, Paul. It's just the two of us. Let it out," she told him softly

So he did. For what seemed like hours, but was only minutes, he let out all of his anger and worry and frustration. He even grieved for his grandma's house, knowing how much it meant to her. He knew it could be repaired, but it wouldn't be the same house. Leah let her own tears fall as she ran her hand gently through his hair and just held him until finally he pulled in a few breaths to calm himself and sat up and wiped his eyes. "God, I'm sorry," he said.

Leah smiled and ran her hand down his cheek. "What? For being human? Oh yeah, it's disgusting," she teased.

"Yeah, I hate that," Paul admitted with a smile.

Pushing him back against the pillows, Leah leaned over him. "You can be human around me, OK? I won't tell anyone. You can keep your rep as the big bad wolf in tact."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Paul asked as he brushed her hair away from her eyes.

"Hmm, I think you've mentioned it a couple of times," Leah answered with a smile.

"I would be fucking lost without you, Leah," Paul stated seriously. "Especially today."

"I know. Me, too." With that, Leah laid her head down on Paul's chest and listened to his heartbeat. They laid there together and took strength from each other until there was a knock on the door.

Leah sat up and called out, "Come in."

The door opened and Travis stood there. "I . . . um, I . . . " He tried to talk, but he couldn't get the words out.

"Come here, little man," Leah said softly.

Travis ran for the bed and Paul lifted him up and plopped him right in between him and Leah. "You scared?" Paul asked.

Travis just nodded. Paul wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close. "It's OK. Don't tell anyone, especially Ty, but . . . " he put his mouth to Travis' ear and whispered, "I just cried all over Leah."

Travis' eyes grew wide as he asked, "You did?"

Paul nodded. "Even big guys like me get scared sometimes. Leah told me it was OK to let it out." Leah smiled at him as he glanced at her.

Travis settled into Paul's arms and Leah laid down beside them both. "Do you want to talk about it?" Paul asked him.

Travis shook his head. "Not right now."

"OK, I get that. Maybe tomorrow," Paul told him.

They all laid there for awhile until they heard, "Um, can I come in?"

Paul glanced over to see Tyler standing in the door way. He smiled and motioned with his arm, "Sure. Come join the party!"

Leah sat up and made room for him as he crawled onto the end of the bed. "How are you feeling?" she asked Tyler.

"Better since I had a shower. But these jeans are too big and they keep falling down!" Everyone laughed at that then Paul said, "I guess we all should get cleaned up."

"I still smell like smoke," Leah observed.

"How long will we have to stay here?" Tyler asked.

Paul shook his head. "I don't know. We'll have to call the insurance company tomorrow, and they'll send someone out to look at the house. Then I guess I'll have Chuck walk through with me and we'll see what all needs to be done. Once we get the money from the insurance company, we can start work, but it will probably be a couple of months before we can live there again."

They all sat there and thought about that. It had only been a few weeks that they had all lived there together, but they had bonded quickly as a family, and now, that was taken away from them.

"Can we get our stuff out of there?" Travis asked.

"The fireman told me we could go back tomorrow. But some of it will be ruined from the smoke and water," Leah told him.

Leah glanced over at Tyler and could see anger creeping over his face. "God, I hate her! Look what she took away from us!"

Paul sat up and put his hand on Tyler's shoulder. "I know. I'm pissed as hell, too. But at least you weren't hurt or killed in that fire, and we have Travis back. Let's just concentrate on the good things for now, OK?"

Tyler sighed and nodded. Then a smile broke out on his face as he said, "Guess what Seth told me?" He hesitated then said, "Cristy asked him to take me to the dance on Friday night for her. Isn't that awesome? She really does like me."

Leah laughed as Paul tousled Tyler's hair. "Look at you, _Romeo_," Paul said. "Just remember, you're not 13 yet."

"Yeah, Ty, you have to be 13 to kiss her!" Travis added excitedly.

"Three more weeks, then watch out!" Tyler replied wickedly. That made them all laugh heartily.

"So, this is where the party moved to. How's come no one invited me?" Seth asked at the door.

"We would, but I don't think this bed will hold one more person," Leah said.

Seth pouted and Travis called out, "Come on, Seth!"

Leah watched as Seth grinned and then flopped on the bed on top of Tyler. They all waited to see if the bed would come crashing down, but luckily it held. Peals of laughter floated out into the other room to Sue as she rocked Noah. She smiled down at him and said softly, "You have a crazy family, little one. Isn't that great?"


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

YOU WON'T SEE ME

The next day, Charlie called and asked Paul if he could bring Leah and the boys in to make their official statements. He reluctantly agreed and told him they would be there after lunch. Paul had kept the boys home from school as he couldn't quite let them out of his sight yet. He wondered if he would ever be able to do so again.

Once Noah was settled in for his morning nap, Leah and Paul left him with Emily and made their way over to the house with the boys. This was going to be really hard, but Paul decided they should do it together.

They went in through the shattered back door and Leah's heart sunk as she took in the sight that used to be the kitchen. Black soot covered everything that wasn't burned. Travis stood beside her and she felt his little hand slip into hers.

Paul stepped past them and said softly, "Come on." Leah and Travis followed Paul and Tyler as they made their way into the living room, which didn't look nearly as bad. "Looks like the middle of the house is in pretty good shape. Just smoke and water damage. That can be cleaned."

Leah nodded as she walked toward their bedroom then shook her head as she saw the big black hole burned into the back wall. She stepped over to touch Noah's little crib that was now partially melted. Leah had been so proud to buy for that for him.

"Hey," Paul called softly. "Oh man, look at that hole."

Leah nodded. "This is going to take a lot to fix, isn't it?"

"Well, it's not as bad as I originally thought. This bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen are the worst. But, this may work out for the best, you know. We were going to need to build on sometime soon anyway. I think Chuck could draw up some plans for us to look over and as soon as we get the insurance money, we could start building."

Leah smiled and wrapped her arms around Paul. "Look at you, finding a silver lining. Never would have guessed that."

Paul chuckled. "Me either." He dropped a kiss on Leah's head and turned to walk over to inspect the boy's room. Leah walked to the closet and pulled open the door to take down the metal box his grandma kept all the important papers in. She set it on the dresser and opened it to start sifting through in search of the insurance papers.

"Yes, found it," Leah murmured as she held the insurance papers in her hand. She placed them on top of the other papers then closed the box and latched it to take with her. Looking around the room, Leah moved to the dresser to look at the clothes there. They were in tact, but smelled of smoke. She grabbed the laundry basket and loaded it with the clothes from the dresser to take back to Emily's to wash.

The boys were gathering up some of their things that weren't damaged to take back with them when Leah told them to fill a laundry basket with their clothes. Paul noticed that Tyler had pulled out a plastic tub from under the bed that held all of his journals. He was happy to see that they had survived the fire.

Once they had what they wanted to take with them loaded into the truck, they drove back to Sam's house and unloaded. Leah went right to the phone and called the insurance company to tell them what happened. She wrote down the name of the agent they were sending out the next day and what time he would arrive and then hung up and handed the paper to Paul.

"Thanks, babe."

"Are you going to work tomorrow? You've missed so much lately."

Paul nodded. "Yeah. We should finish in Port Angeles this week, and our next job is a small remodel on a house just outside Forks, so I'll be closer to home."

"Good. I like that idea." Paul did, too. He hated the thought of leaving them tomorrow, but they really needed the money. Chuck had been very patient wit him, and he really appreciated it, but he didn't want to take advantage.

"Let's get some lunch then we need to head into Forks to see Charlie."

Leah sighed and nodded solemnly. She knew it had to be done, but she was not looking forward to it. 

Paul held the door and let Leah lead the way into the sheriff's station. She asked for Chief Swan and was directed to his office where she knocked on the door and heard him grunt, "Come in." Looking back at Paul and the boys, she whispered, "Ready?"

They nodded and she opened the door. "Hey, come on in," Charlie greeted them with a smile. "I know the office is kind of a mess right now . . . " he said as he moved some files around and to make room for them all. "You know what? Why don't we go down the hall to the conference room. Follow me."

They all filed out behind him and followed him down the hall to a much bigger room with a large table in the middle of it and eight nice chairs on rollers around it. "Hey, boys," he said as he dug into his pocket and pulled out some change. "Why don't you go across the hall there and get yourself a snack or a soda, OK? Then come on back and we'll get started."

Tyler and Travis took the change with a soft "Thank you," and made their way across the hall. Charlie looked at Paul and Leah, who had each taken a seat on the other side of the table. "I wanted you to know that we are still holding Doreen and Johnny here until we can transport them to the county lock-up in Port Angeles. There will be an official arraignment there to list the charges against them."

Paul nodded and took Leah's hand under the table. He was really glad she was here beside him right now. "OK. What do you need from us?"

"Well, I'll have the stenographer come in and record your official statements. You know, you just tell us what happened and that way we have it written down. Then you look it over and if it is OK, you sign it. We'll need the boys to give theirs, too. You think Travis is up to it?"

"Yes. We talked about it last night, and he's good."

Just then the boys came back into the room and Charlie had them sit down at the table. Travis had a small bag of cookies and Tyler a Mt. Dew. "Alright, let me get Debbie from down the hall, and we'll get started."

Travis was fighting with the bag, trying to open it when Tyler automatically reached over and took it from him, pulled it open then handed it back. "Thanks," Travis said as he shoved a cookie in his mouth. Paul watched them and was amazed at how Tyler just did things for Travis without even being asked.

Charlie and Debbie walked in and once everyone was settled, Charlie said, "OK, let's get started."

They each took their turns telling their stories and answering Charlie's questions. Leah was grateful they were dealing with Charlie. He was very patient with the boys and knew how to put them all at ease. She may not like Bella very well, but her dad was another story.

Finally they were all finished, the papers were signed and they were free to go. Tyler had been extremely quiet, even for Tyler, after he gave his statement. Leah saw a scowl on his face and was worried about him. She wondered if she should mention the idea of the boys seeing a counselor of some sort to Paul. They had been through a lot in their young lives, and it might help them to have someone to talk to . . . a professional who could help them get through what they were feeling. She would have to remember to talk to him about that later.

As they all stood to go, Travis informed Leah he had to use the bathroom. "OK, I'll walk you down there," she told him then she turned to Paul and let him know where they were going. He nodded and Leah took Travis down the hall.

Tyler looked at Charlie and surprised Paul by saying, "I want to see her." Charlie glanced to Paul to let him know he wasn't sure how to answer that request. "Look, I heard you tell Paul that they are still here, and I want to see her. I have a right to that, don't I?"

Paul sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Are you sure, Ty? What good can come from that?"

"None. But I have to do this, Paul. I have to."

Paul nodded and put his hand on Tyler's shoulder. "Can we see her?" he asked Charlie.

"Yeah, you can, if you really want to." He motioned for them to follow him down the hall. They stopped in front of a window and Charlie informed the man there to open the door for them. He pressed a button and they heard a buzz then the door clicked open. Just as they stepped inside, Paul heard Leah call to him. He stopped and looked back. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"Something we need to finish up. Here are the keys. Why don't you and Travis wait for us in the truck. We shouldn't be long." Leah gave him a wary look and Paul smiled and said softly, "It's OK. I'll tell you later."

Leah took the keys from him then turned to take Travis by the hand as Paul stepped back through the door. "OK. Let's get this over with."

Charlie led them down a hall and were buzzed through another door then they saw the jail cells. Doreen was dressed in an orange jumpsuit, and she was sitting on a bunk just staring at the wall. Johnny was in a cell down the hall, Charlie informed them. When Doreen heard them coming she looked over at them and sneered. "What the hell are you doing here? Come to gloat?"

Doreen's hair hung down her back and her face was empty of make-up. She ALWAYS wore make-up and without it, she looked at least 10 or 15 years older. Paul sneered back and said, "Believe it or not, Tyler here requested to see you. I have no idea why, but I'm just here to support him."

Pushing herself from the bunk, Doreen stood and hurried over to the cell door. "Tyler, my baby boy! You came to see me? Look at you! I think you've grown another couple of inches." She smiled at him and reached through the bars to touch him and he jumped back.

"Don't. Touch. Me," Tyler spit out through clenched teeth. Paul knew he was angry, but even he was surprised at how much fury he saw in Tyler's eyes.

Doreen backed up a little and looked at Paul. "So, you turned him completely against me, did you? Hope you're happy. You took both my little boys away."

"No, YOU did that," Tyler spit back at her. "You _disgust_ me. Living with you was a nightmare . . . one that I am glad is finally over. Never having enough money for food, never knowing if you were going to come home . . . if you were dead somewhere . . . lying to landlords and drug dealers and social workers for you. It was HELL! Do you get that?"

Doreen stared at him in disbelief as Tyler unloaded on her.

"I grew up in a sick world of drug deals and drunken one-night stands in the living room when you thought we were asleep. You have no idea the things we heard and saw. No kid should ever have to go through that. And then offering me to some guy when he was done with you?" Tyler was shaking now. "Do you know how sick and twisted that is? Telling your 11 year-old-kid to give some guy a blow job so you could get $20 to score some pot?"

Now Paul was shaking with fury.

Tyler took a deep breath and kept on going. "You have no idea, what you have done to us. NONE!" he screamed. "You _kidnapped_ my little brother, and you BURNED our house. OUR HOUSE! And you aren't one bit sorry. NOT ONE BIT! What the hell is wrong with you? How can a mother do that to her own kids?"

Doreen snorted and spit back, "It's all Paul's fault! If he would have just given me what was mine in the first place, none of this would have happened!"

Tyler shook his head at weak attempt to defend herself. "Are you fucking serious? Do you even hear yourself when you talk?" Tyler asked her. "Why can you never admit that anything is your fault? YOU left us with Grandma. YOU did, and thank God you did. She did the best she could to take care of us, ALL of us. And she LOVED us . . . which is something you will never understand. When she died, she cared about us enough to leave us a house to live in, and all you could see is money you couldn't get your hands on. Who cares if your kids have to live on the street? As long as you have money to buy your drugs. You bitch! Why do you think Grandma left you nothing? She knew what you'd do with it!" Tears of anger were running down his bright red cheeks now. "I came here to tell you how much I HATE you. I hope you rot in prison and I NEVER want to see or hear from you again. You got that? NEVER!" Tyler finished his tirade and turned to Paul, who slung his arm protectively around his shaking body.

"Yeah, well . . . the feeling is mutual. I'm done with all of you. Go away and leave me the hell alone." Doreen turned her back on them and went back to the bunk.

Paul just looked at her in amazement. _How did the three of them come from such a fucking unfeeling whore?_ "I guess I don't have to tell you that what he said goes for me and Travis, too. We are all better off now without you and I will do everything in my power to make sure they put you away for a long time."

In her typical trashy style, Doreen gave him the finger and Paul just shook his head. "Come on. Let's get the hell out of here."

Charlie had stepped back to allow Tyler to say what he needed to say and now he held out his arm to direct them back out. Paul kept his arm around Tyler as they walked away and back down the hall. Once they were at the front door, Charlie bid them good-bye and told Paul he'd be in touch. Paul shook his hand and thanked him then opened the door for Tyler to walk out in front of him.

When they were outside the building, Paul stopped Tyler and said, "Man, that was rough. I could tell you've been holding that in for a long time. Are you OK?"

Tyler sighed and looked up at the gray sky then nodded. "I am now. But I don't know where Travis and I would be without you. If she hadn't decided to take us to you and Grandma . . . I was planning on going to my school counselor and telling her what was going on because I knew she would call Child Protection. But I was really afraid they would split us up, and I didn't want that."

Paul put his hand on Tyler's shoulder and squeezed. "Yeah, thank God she actually made two smart decisions in her stinking life. I've always known that her dumping me with Grandma is the best thing that ever happened to me."

Tyler nodded. "I have a hard time saying stuff like this, and I'll always feel bad because I didn't get to say to Grandma before she . . . you know, but . . . " looking Paul in the eye, Tyler said, "thanks for taking care of us. I love you, Paul."

Paul grabbed him by the neck and pulled Tyler to his chest. "I love you, too, bro. You and Trav always have a home with me. Always."

They stood there for a moment then Paul shoved Tyler away as both of them manly tried to sniff back their tears and then he said, "Enough of this shit. I'm hungry. What do you say we head over to the diner for some ice cream? Or maybe a burger?"

"Yeah, I could eat," Tyler said with a grin as he shoved Paul back.

They hopped into the truck and Leah asked, "Everything OK?"

Paul smiled and nodded. "Yep. We're good . . . and hungry. Travis? You up for some ice cream?"

Travis sat up straight and grinned. "Of course! Have you met me?" They all laughed at Travis as Paul put the truck in drive and headed for the diner. They would be alright. He would make sure of it.


	41. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Charlie called a couple of weeks later to let them know that Doreen and Johnny were charged with kidnapping and arson, along with fraud, and would probably be put away for a very long time. That made them all very happy.

Paul called Jim to fill him in on what happened, and he made the trip down the next weekend to see them all. Tyler finally sat down with his dad and had a nice long talk, even showing him that he was now wearing the chain and wolf charm that he had given him. By the time Jim left, he finally felt like there might be a chance for him to get to know both of his sons.

Paul and Chuck drew up plans for the house and as soon as the check from the insurance company arrived, they bought what they needed and got to work. Chuck was good enough to clear the calendar and make time to work on the house so they could get it done quickly. Living with Sam and Emily was OK, but it was kind of a tight space for four adults and three boys.

They slipped into a routine again with Paul working on the house and the boys back to school. Leah and Emily divided up the chores and kept things going at home. Leah even took the time to contact Carlisle at the hospital and he helped her get the supplies she needed to set up her little clinic in the back room at Sam and Emily's. She wanted to be ready for any emergency that might come up, and now she felt confident that she could.

Leah also talked to Carlisle about how she might be able to finish her degree. He told her he would be more than happy to help, and he would contact the school immediately to see what could be done. When she left the hospital that day, she shook her head and again was amazed that he was a bloodsucker. He just didn't fit the profile.

Tyler's birthday came up the first week in February, and Emily insisted on throwing him a huge party. "You only become a teenager once, you know," she said to Paul and he found he couldn't argue with that. So Emily and Leah went crazy and made too much food, invited everybody they knew, and even shy Tyler had a great time. Especially since Cristy was invited.

Tyler and Paul were standing in the kitchen when she walked in with Collin and Brady. She was dressed in a cute little plaid skirt with leggings and boots and a white blouse with a short sweater over it. Paul nudged him and whispered, "Hey, you're 13 now. Go for it." Tyler looked over and grinned and Paul laughed.

Jim came over from Seattle for the party and was very happy to finally celebrate a birthday with one of his boys. For a gift, he gave Tyler a really nice digital watch. Tyler seemed pleased with it and put it on as soon as he opened it. "Thanks, Ji . . . Dad." Jim's smile lit up the room.

Leah's gift really surprised him . . . it was a telescope! "Wow, Leah! Thanks. This is awesome!" Tyler cried out as soon as he ripped off the wrapping paper. She had remembered last year how he had mentioned he was trying to save up for one, but she knew he would never really buy one for himself. He would spend the money on something practical like school supplies or socks, or something for Travis, like he usually did. She had to admit she was just as excited as he was and she could hardly wait to help him set it up.

His favorite gift came from Paul. After Ty opened all his other gifts, Paul kidnapped him and put him in the truck to take him to the house. "Why did we leave the party? Why are we here?" Tyler asked as Paul led him toward the house.

"You'll see," Paul told him with a mischievous look in his eye. Paul opened the door and flipped on a light. The house was still in progress so there were a lot of tools and sawhorses sitting around, and it was cold as there was no heat on yet. Paul led him through the living room, and down the new hall way where the new addition had been added. Paul stopped and set Tyler in front of a door then flipped on the light switch. "This, is your new room, Ty. Your OWN room. No more sleeping with your little brother. What do you think?"

Shock and surprise was written all over Tyler's face. He just stood there at the door way and took it all in. Paul told him that it was 13 feet by 14 feet, and it had a nice-sized closet, and two windows. The floor was still bare and the walls were just dry-wall, but Tyler could see how great it would be when it was finished. Tyler finally took a few steps inside and then turned to Paul.

Paul was grinning as he watched him. "I need to know what color you want us to paint it, and then we'll need to pick out some furniture. We can move the double bed in here that you and Trav have now, but I thought we'd get a dresser and maybe a desk for you to do homework and stuff . . . "

He was stopped by Tyler plowing into him and wrapping his arms around his waist. "Hey, you like it, don't you?" Paul asked him.

Tyler nodded as he pulled away. "I can't believe you did this for me. Why would you do that? I mean, Travis and I have always shared a room and this cost a lot of money and . . . "

Paul put his hands on Tyler's shoulders. "Hey, you deserve this, bro. I appreciate what you have always done for your little brother, but let me and Leah do that for you, OK? You're a teenager now . . . you need some time to figure out who you are and what you want to be, and you deserve to have your own space. And remember, we are using the insurance money for this, insurance money that we got from the fire that our bitch of a mother caused. So, in a way, this is payback for all you had to put up with when you lived with her. This is something she owes you, bro. Just be happy and take it."

Tyler nodded and smiled then looked around again. He walked over to the window and looked out at the woods and thought how he would wake up to this view everyday. Then he turned to Paul and asked, "Can we put up some shelves for my journals and books?"

Paul smiled. "Yes, we can do that."

Tyler walked back to stop in front of Paul. "Thanks. Thanks alot. I really like it."

"Good. Now let's go back to the party. I want some of that cake!" Paul hooked his brother around his neck and pulled him in to rub his head as they walked back down the hallway and out into the cold night.

Leah and Emily were soon sorry they had made the offer to help when Kim put them to work on her wedding. She had them making party favors and centerpieces and shopping for dresses, and flowers . . . Leah told her she didn't work this hard on her own wedding! But she had to admit, Kim made it all fun as she was so excited.

The day of the wedding arrived and it went off perfectly. They got married in a church in town . . . Kim was a beautiful bride and Jared was over the moon happy. The rec center looked like something out of a movie, as there were little white lights hung EVERYWHERE and flowers and candles . . . it was gorgeous. They all partied and danced late into the night, and Paul even caught Tyler kissing Cristy out in the hallway on his way to the bathroom. He didn't say anything, he just silently turned back into the party and smiled. _Let the kid have some fun_.

Everyone was stunned to see Jacob walk in with Bella on his arm. Not only because they were together, but because Bella looked so different. She had color in her cheeks and a genuine smile on her face. She was friendly and talked to everyone and she looked . . . _really happy_. Leah had to admit that maybe she wasn't so bad after all when she saw the happiness that radiated from Jacob. Paul told her that was because he finally got laid, and Leah just rolled her eyes. But, she had to admit he was probably right.

Jared took a few days off of work after their short honeymoon in Canada to move him and Kim into the little house he had fixed up for them. She was so excited and was soon making curtains and painting rooms. Leah wondered how long it would be before there would be another baby on the way. _At least they got married first! _Leah thought. _Leave it to them to be conventional._

Paul came to Leah one Friday night about a week after the wedding, and told her he had a surprise for her. Emily told her she would watch the baby and Travis, so they walked out the front door and got into the truck.

When Paul stopped in front of their house, Leah gave him a curious look. Paul just grinned and walked around to open her door. "Come with me," he said softly.

They stopped at the beautiful new red front door and Paul put the key in the lock and turned the knob. "OK, are you ready?"

Leah smiled. She had seen the house in bits and pieces, but Paul wouldn't let her come over for the last two weeks. He wanted to surprise her when it was all done. He surprised her now by scooping her up into his arms to carry her over the threshold. "Welcome home, Mrs. Jacobs."

Leah leaned in to put a kiss on his lips then he set her down and flipped on the light switch. "Come to the kitchen first. I can't wait to see your face." Paul took her hand and led her to the kitchen.

Leah's face lit up as Paul turned on the light. "Oh my God, Paul! It's gorgeous!" The kitchen was bigger and it had all new oak cabinets and stainless steel appliances and a bright new tile floor. A new, bigger oak round table with six chairs was in place, with a high chair in the corner for Noah. Leah walked around and ran her hand along the new countertops and appliances. "I can't believe this," she gushed.

"Well, come on, there's more!" Paul told her excitedly as he pulled her into the living room and right away the new stone fireplace caught her eye. Paul was really proud of that. He built it himself and some of the stones were from their own property. On the mantle, in nice gold frames, were pictures from their wedding: one of the two of them, one of them with the boys, and the one of them with just the pack.

Leah touched each photo then turned to Paul. "I love it. I can't wait to sit in front of a roaring fire, just the two of us."

Grinning like a little kid at Christmas, Paul pulled Leah down the hall to what had been the boys' room. It was repainted in blue and there was a new twin bed on one side of the room for Travis and a crib for Noah on the other side. "Do you think he'll mind sharing a room with the baby?" Leah asked.

"No. But it's only for a little while until I get the other bedroom done. Then this one will be Noah's and Travis can move to his new room."

Leah nodded and they walked into their room. It was a little bigger and painted in a nice sage green. They had managed to save his grandma's bed frame and it was now refinished and sitting in the room with a new mattress and box spring. Leah looked around and smiled. "I love the color. I knew this would look good in here."

Then they turned back to check out the new bathroom and Leah gasped and whipped around to look at Paul. "Really? I can't believe it! A Jacuzzi tub!"

"Well, I remember how much you liked the one on our honeymoon. So I splurged a little and got one." He pulled her close and nuzzled her neck as he said, "I seem to remember you saying something about how great sex was in a Jacuzzi."

Leah laughed and replied, "Yeah, but with three boys in the house, how often do you think that will happen?"

Paul pulled back and said seriously, "Oh, I will MAKE that happen."

Leah laughed some more and said, "Come on. Show me the rest."

Paul led her down the new hallway to the two new bedrooms and small bathroom. It only had a standup shower, toilet and sink, but it was big enough for the boys to share. Tyler would have the bigger room, and Travis the smaller one. "Oh, Paul, this is so wonderful. You and Chuck did a great job. I can't wait to move back in."

"Well, we still need to get a few more furniture items, and I thought I would let you pick those out. Chuck was so great to get everything we needed at cost that we have money left over."

"Who would have thought things would turn out so well after what happened?"

Paul snorted and replied, "Yeah, her evil plan backfired on her and we finally got something we deserve. Go figure."

Leah put her arms around Paul's waist and laid her head on his chest. "I just know that we are all going to be very happy here."

"How about we go and try out that tub?" Leah lifted her head to look up at Paul and he gave her a wicked smile and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh yeah? I might like that."

"I will make sure you like that," he said as he put his lips on hers. She sighed and opened her mouth to his tongue and felt that old familiar heat shoot through her body at his touch.

She broke away and grinned at him. "Race ya!" she called out as she took off for the bathroom, ripping her shirt over her head and dropping it as she ran.

Paul smiled as he bent to pick her shirt up off of the floor then bring it to his face to take in her scent as he thanked his lucky stars for at least the millionth time that he had Leah in his life. Their journey had been rough . . . but it had led them to where they were now, and Paul had to admit, he was more than happy to be here.


End file.
